[episode starts off with a close up of the Krusty Krab]
Squidward: Can I help you?
Patrick: Yeah. [Looks at the menu] Let's see here. I have a question about the Krabby Kiddy meal. Is it really, really, really cute?
[There is a pause].
Patrick: Cuter than a regular Krabby Patty?
Squidward : Yes.
[SpongeBob appears through his window].
SpongeBob: Psssssst. Patrick, get the Krabby Kiddy Meal. Look, [brings out a regular Krabby Patty] a regular Krabby Patty here, [brings out Kiddy Patty], a Krabby Kiddy Patty here.[line appears over both Krabby Patties to show how much "cuter" the Kiddy Patty is] 30% cuter. And it only costs one dollar more.
Patrick:[points] Oh yah! Yah! Yah! I want that!
[SpongeBob brings out Krabby Kiddy meal]
Squidward: That'll be $4.99.
[Patrick gets out "money"]
Patrick: Is this enough? [In Patrick's hand is a piece of string, a paper clip, a pin, and some crumbs]
SpongeBob: Sorry Patrick.
Patrick: Oh, crud! That's everything I got! [Begins to cry].
SpongeBob: I've got an idea. We can buy it together and share it.
Patrick:[sobs] Share it?
SpongeBob: Sure. You see sharing is the most wonderful...
Patrick: Yeah yeah yeah.
[Patrick takes SpongeBob's money and gives it to Squidward].
Patrick: I'm familiar with the concept of "sharing".
[Bubbles change the scene. Patrick is eating his Krabby Kiddy meal].
Patrick: Sharing is fun. [Takes bite] Right SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Oh yeah.
[Patrick gulps down the Krabby Kiddy Patty]
SpongeBob: Aren't you gonna save some of that for me?
Patrick: Hey! [flips over box] Where's the toy?
SpongeBob: Oh it doesn't come with a toy.
Patrick: What? That's a rip off! I want my money back!
[Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs taking a money bath]
Mr. Krabs:[wakes up] Money back?!
Mr. Krabs:[walks out of office with towel wrapped around him] What's the problem here?
Patrick: My Kiddy meal didn't come with a toy!
Mr. Krabs: Hm. And you'll like to upgrade to the toy package is that right?
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, the Krusty Krab doesn't have any toys.
Mr.Krabs: Oh really? [takes Krabby Patty away from customer] Then what do you call?...[fixes Krabby Patty] this?
[The Krabby Patty now has eyes, legs, a mouth, and arms made from kitchen ingredients].
Patrick and SpongeBob: Gasp!
SpongeBob: An officially "licensed" Krusty Krab toy? [smiles].
[Zooms in on Krusty Krab toy, then on SpongeBob. Then SpongeBob touches the Krusty Krab toy with his nose and the screen turns black except for SpongeBob and the Krusty Krab toy].
SpongeBob:[breathes deeply] My purpose in life is to have you as my toy. [rubs toy].
Mr. Krabs: Eww. [takes toy away from SpongeBob] Disgusting. Ahem. yep it's pretty special all right. And it can be yours for only...
[SpongeBob takes out crumpled up money. Mr. Krabs's eyes are wide and zoom in on the money].
Mr. Krabs: Hey, good looking.
[SpongeBob gives Mr. Krabs's money and Mr. Krabs gives SpongeBob the toy. Mr. Krabs runs back to his office and hangs up "Do Not Disturb" sign].
SpongeBob:[Kisses Krabby Patty toy] I love you officially licensed Krabby Patty toy. Not too formal. Ah! I think I'll call you Patty Pal!
[SpongeBob dances with Patty Pal].
Patrick: Am I interrupting?
SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Patrick. Have you met my new toy?
Patrick: Don't you mean "our" new toy?
SpongeBob: Our new toy?
Patrick: It came from the meal that we're "sharing."
Patrick: Remember? [imitates SpongeBob] Sharing is the most wonderful feeling in the world, like dancing with a magical seahorse through an enchanted kelp garden [stops imitating SpongeBob] Remember those words, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: I didn't say that. But I guess we can share Patty Pal. [Patrick takes Patty Pal and laughs] Now can I see it again Patrick? [Patrick takes Patty Pal away]
Patrick: I thought we were sharing it?
SpongeBob: When's my turn?
Patrick: Aren't you supposed to be working? [Mr. Krabs looks angrily at SpongeBob for not washing the floor]
SpongeBob:[Begins mopping] Of course.
[Scene changes to nighttime where Mr. Krabs locks up the Krusty Krab and everyone walks home]
SpongeBob: Now is it my turn?
[Patrick and SpongeBob arrive at their houses]
SpongeBob: How about now?
Patrick: Uh, maybe tomorrow.
SpongeBob:[Sighs sadly] Nighty-night Patty Pal [Patrick swipes it away as SpongeBob reaches out to touch it]
Patrick: NO TOUCHING!!! See you tomorrow [Patrick walks over to his house and jumps in] Say goodnight Patty Pal [imitates Patty Pal voice] Goodnight SpongeBob [Rock then closes on both of them]
SpongeBob:[Sadly] Goodnight [SpongeBob then walks to his house, changes his clothes, and climbs into bed] Poor Patrick. He's only got the Patty Pal for tonight, and he'll be asleep, and won't get to play with it at all! [Laughs. Scene then changes to Patrick dancing with Patty Pal all night while listening to loud electronic music on big speakers. Scene then changes to morning, where SpongeBob gets up happily next to Gary]
SpongeBob: Yes! Today's my Patty Pal day! Oh, this is going to be fun!
SpongeBob: Gary, of course, Patrick will give me my turn with the Patty Pal!
SpongeBob: Gary, you can be a real negative nancy! [SpongeBob then walks out of his bedroom]
SpongeBob: I heard that! [SpongeBob then walks out of his house and to Patrick's while singing about sharing. He then arrives and knocks on Patrick's rock. Muffled electronic music can be heard] Good Morning Patrick! [muffled music stops]
Patrick: Uh, I'm not home right now! Please leave a message! Beeeep!
SpongeBob:[Upset] Patrick, it's me! SpongeBob! It's my turn to play with the toy!
Patrick: I can't go out! I just washed my hair!
SpongeBob: You don't have any h-[Angry voice] come out Patrick! It's my turn!!
Patrick:[Sticks hand out] Got any ID?
SpongeBob:[Takes out ID] I have my milkshake dispenser operator license
[Patrick takes it and looks at it]
Patrick: Looks fake to me pal! Bye-Bye now!
SpongeBob:[Sarcastically] Well, I guess I had best be going! [Pretends to walk away] I'm walking away. Here I go. [Whispers] I'm gone now! [SpongeBob then hides on top of Patrick's antennae]
Patrick: You sure?
SpongeBob:[Still whispering] I'm sure! [Patrick walks out to take a look, and SpongeBob pounces] Hi, Patrick! Time to share!
Patrick: Deceiver! You didn't leave at all!
SpongeBob: Oh, and you were washing your hair?!
Patrick: I was too, see? [Patrick shows he washed his armpit hair. After, SpongeBob leaps and lands in front of Patrick, while performing a good somersault routine with a nice landing] Nice dismount!
SpongeBob: I'm working out!
Patrick: Well, gotta go! [Patrick turns to walk away, but SpongeBob pulls him back]
SpongeBob: Hold on, buster! Hand over the toy! It's my turn!
Patrick: I can't! Patty Pal and me have really bonded!
SpongeBob:[Surprised] Gary was so right about you! You're a non-sharer!
Patrick: Gary said that? You're off my friend list, Gary!!
Gary: Meow. [turns and slithers back into SpongeBob's house]
SpongeBob: Hand it over Patrick! I get to play with the Patty Pal today! [Patrick is about to hand it over, but takes it away]
Patrick: You can't take it! It's not fair! [SpongeBob tries to take it while trying to give Patrick a resonable offer]
SpongeBob: How about I take it for half a day?
SpongeBob: How about we trade off every hour?
SpongeBob: Every half hour?
SpongeBob: Every fifteen minutes?
SpongeBob: Five minutes?
SpongeBob: One minute?
SpongeBob: Okay then for our final offer we trade off every second!
[Then Patrick is running away from SpongeBob because Patrick won't share his toy.. SpongeBob gets angry with a train sound. Now they start chasing each other.. They got into Squidward's house. Chasing starts again, they roll and the glass shatters]
Squidward: I hate them.
[Now, they're chasing to Sandy's house]
Sandy: Hi Patrick, SpongeBob.
Both: Hi Sandy.
Sandy: What in tarnation's going on with you two?
Patrick: SpongeBob won't let me play with my toy.
SpongeBob: Patrick won't share OUR toy.
Sandy: What you need is a mediator. Y'all bet to sit down and work this out. Now the main problem in an argument is a lack of communication. You can only resolve conflict when you understand each other. [Patrick and Spongebob start drying up] So I want each of you to state what is most important to the each of you right now.
[They're both screeching their voices]
[They crawl away. They are both breathing]
Patrick: Oh boy.
SpongeBob: That mediator lady make some good points.
Patrick: Most definitely.
SpongeBob: It takes understanding.
Patrick: Communication is key.
[Now they start fighting and rolling around.. They got into the bus.. They got into the train.. And they got into the taxi.. They stopped rolling]
SpongeBob: It's my turn!
Patrick: No, it's mine!
Patrick: If I can't have it, no one can!
[Patrick eats Patty Pal]
Mr. Krabs: Avast, there, laddies. What's all this ruckus about now?
SpongeBob: It's our Krabby Patty toy Mr. Krabs, and Patrick ate it, so I can't play with it.
Patrick: SpongeBob won't let me play with it.
SpongeBob: Only if you have it all night.
Patrick: I did not!
SpongeBob: Did too!
SpongeBob: Oh you, toy eater!
Mr. Krabs: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, settle down. All this brawling is over a toy? You two shouldn't let a little trinkle between youse two. You should be ashamed of yourselves. If I give you each of ya another toy, would that make you happy?
SpongeBob and Patrick: Yes.
Mr. Krabs: Well, you're in luck! You two so thrilled with a toy. I'm have entire case e'made. I've been selling my hotcakes. That'll be $13.50 each.
Patrick: This time it's on me. [pulls SpongeBob's money out]