[The episode starts off in SpongeBob's living room with him watching a sea anemone dancing on TV, his eyes widen and he moves a little closer. Gary comes up.]
SpongeBob: Gary! [changes channel to a football game] Uh, uh, I was just looking for the sports channel, Gary. [Someone is knocking on his door.] Come in!
Patrick:[Opens door and walks in] Hey, SpongeBob, wanna see my new shoes? [shows blue tennis shoes]
SpongeBob: Wow! Those are great, Patrick! Let's see what they look like on your feet.
Patrick: Uh... [pulls the shoes away] Wouldn't you rather see them on... [shows the shoes on his hands] My hands?
SpongeBob: Okay... [has white gloves on his feet] And we can wear gloves on our feet [turns around and has a top hat on his back] and hats on our captain's quarters, too. [shakes his butt]
Patrick: Uh, actually... I have a confession to make. [looks to see that no one is watching, leans to SpongeBob's "ear" and whispers] I don't know how to tie my shoelaces.
SpongeBob:[laughs] Do you know how lucky you are to have a friend like me?
Patrick: Yes. [SpongeBob places one foot on the chair]
SpongeBob: Look at this knot. Have you ever seen a more perfectly executed shoe-fastening bow?
Patrick: Gosh... Probably not.
SpongeBob: I learned when I was just a boy, Patrick and I'm willing to pass on what I know. Go sit over there [Points off-screen behind himself] and let an old pro show you how to do it. [Patrick sits down in the chair and SpongeBob sets his foot on the chair's arm] Pay close attention, Patrick. Well, you start [unties his laces] by taking one lace per hand... [pulls a little on both laces] And then you... Uh, you gotta... Loop the, the...
Patrick: Are you sure you know how to do it?
SpongeBob: Patrick, please, shoe-tying requires peace and quiet. Okay, where was I?
Patrick:[SpongeBob gives him a dirty look] Your shoes are still untied. [SpongeBob takes his shoe off the chair]
SpongeBob:[looks away] Well, [Patrick looks shocked] I guess you don't want me to show you how to do it.
Patrick: I'm sorry! [covers his mouth with his shoes] I won't interrupt anymore!
SpongeBob: I've got it! The first rule of shoe-tying is always start with your right foot. Now the lesson will officially begin. [sets his right foot on the chair arm and unties his laces. Ties his laces but they come undone. SpongeBob laughs nervously and tries again but the laces untie themselves once more. Patrick looks angry at him] That's... "knot" right. [laughs nervously] Get it? Knot... right... hmm...
SpongeBob: Okay, no more fooling around. [tries to tie the laces again off-screen] I've got it! [lifts up hands to show his fingers tied in a lot of knots. He laughs nervously. He turns around.]
Patrick: What was that? Are you okay, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob:[He turns around and looks angry at Patrick] Patrick, aren't you late for something?
Patrick: Oh, poop deck, You're right! [runs and bursts down SpongeBob's front door] We'll have to do this lesson [Off-Screen] later! Bye SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: I can't believe I've forgotten how to tie my own shoes. They've been tied as long as I can remember. [flashbacks to being him as an egg with legs, socks, and shoes only] Well, I'll remember after a good night's sleep. [The scene changes to show the night scene with the island and the moon is shown. The scene changes to show the sunrise scene with the island is then shown shown. The scene changes to show SpongeBob is shown sleeping in his bed snoring with his shoelaces going back and forth. the clock turns to 7:00 am. The alarm goes off. SpongeBob wakes up and looks at his shoes and they are still untied] Oh... No big deal. I'll remember sooner or later. [The scene changes to show the outside of the Pineapple and he opens the front door. He is shown wearing his Krusty Krab uniform.] 'Cause I'm ready! I'm... read... [takes a step and trips] ...y! [stands up] I'm read... [takes another step and trips] ...Ooh! [stands up] I'm read... [takes another step and trips] ... Uh! [stands up] I'm read... [takes another step and trips] ...Ooy! I'm read... Doy! I'm read... Doy! I'm read... Uh! I'm read... Doy! I'm read... Doy! I'm read... Duh! [repeats a few times]
[He makes it to the Krusty Krab where Patrick is eating a Krabby Patty. SpongeBob trips through the doors. Patrick notices SpongeBob.]
Patrick: Oh, hi, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob:[gasps] Oh, no! I can't let Patrick see I still haven't tied my shoes. [stands up and puts two holes through the floor with his feet]
Patrick:[Walks over to SpongeBob] Hey, SpongeBob... You're shorter. Have you been dieting?
SpongeBob: Well, a sponge has to look his spongiest. [walks to the kitchen putting a line of holes in the floor with his feet] Well, I've gotta get to work. [opens kitchen door and plops on the floor, face first. He grunts. He talks muffled by the fact that he hasn't stood up yet and is talking straight into the floor.] Oh, barnacles! maybe I should just lay here.
Squidward:[peeks his head through the order window] Those patties aren't going to cook themselves, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: He's right! Got to make... Krabby Patties! [he holds out a spatula and gets up] Laces or no laces! [crawls over to the grill while grunting] Ah... I just have to stand in this one spot. [makes a krabby patty] Ta-da! A perfect patty.
Squidward: Alright, SpongeBob, hand it over. Well?
[SpongeBob takes a deep breath. Then imagines that Squidward is really far away. He also imagines his shoe laces as snakes that squeeze him then the hallucination goes away.]
SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, I've got an idea! How about you come get it?
Squidward:[Sarcastically] Oh, gee, SpongeBob, that's a great idea. And maybe I should cook the patties and do the dishes and wear square pants and live in a pineapple while you wait in the unemployment line!
Squidward: Then bring that patty here now!
SpongeBob:[Off-Screen] Okay, Squidward. [On-Screen] Here I come. I'm coming over. [scoots his feet across the floor inch by inch] I'm bringing the patty to you. Here comes the patty. No problem. I'm walking...the Krabby Patty...over to Squidward. All right, Squidward. I'm giving you the patty... For the hungry customer... So they can eat it... When I give it to you... Which is right... now. [holds out the patty but the scene zooms out to show that SpongeBob never moved]
Squidward: Uh, SpongeBob? I'm over here! Now move!
SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward. [looks down at his feet] Just slowly move your leg. Walk over there... with the... [tries to take a step but trips himself and sends the patty flying through the air at Squidward] Dah!
Squidward: SpongeBob! [the patty lands in his mouth]
SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Squidward.
Squidward:[chewing the patty] SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: I'll just make another... Doh! [makes another patty but trips again throwing the patty towards Squidward]
Squidward: Sponge... [patty enters his mouth]
SpongeBob: Hold it... Doy! [makes another patty and trips again sending the patty into Squidwards mouth again] Let me just... [makes another patty] Doy! [he trips again and launches another patty. This continues for a while. Pretty soon, Squid is extremely huge. A group of customers is standing at the register. Old Man Jenkins pokes him.]
Old Man Jenkins: What's the holdup?
Squidward:[Squidward turns around and burps really loudly] I think my heart just stopped. [customers complain] It's Sponge... [burps] ...Bob's fault! ['SpongeBob's fault' echoes in SpongeBob's head]
SpongeBob:[He starts to tear up] I've failed. My career is over. I'm sorry, spatula. [puts down the spatula and takes his hat off] I'm sorry, hat. [puts it back on] I'm sorry, floor. [Takes a box of Krabby Patties from the wall and brings it to him and hugs it.] I am sorry, Krabby Patties. [lies in a puddle of tears. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs on the toilet working on a crossword puzzle, all of the answers he has given is the word "Money".]
Mr. Krabs: Let's see, a five-letter word for happiness. "Money." [laughs]
Customer:[Off-Screen] This is the worst service we've ever had! We're going to the Chum Bucket! [Mr. Krabs opens the bathroom door to see what the problem is]
Mr. Krabs: Wait! Wait! Don't go! [his pants are on the ground]
Harold: Oh yeah, we are definitely out of here. [The costumers continue to complain. Mr. Krabs runs over to the door, his pants are still on the ground.]
Mr. Krabs: Wait! Wait, don't go! That's me money walking out the door! What's the meaning of this, Mr. Squidward?
Squidward: It's SpongeBob's fault. [Mr. Krabs gets upset. His eyes turn into steamboat whistles]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, get out here! [peeks out the kitchen door] More. [SpongeBob peeks out a little more] More. [SpongeBob stretches himself partially through the door] All the way, boy! [SpongeBob snaps out of the door and falls to the ground.] What be the matter, SpongeBob? I ought to make you walk the plank for this.
SpongeBob: I'm sorry Mr. Krabs, it's just that I... I...
Mr. Krabs: Yes?
SpongeBob: I... I... I... I... I... I...
Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes, yes?
SpongeBob: I... I... I... I... I...
Mr. Krabs: Out with it, boy! [He shakes SpongeBob] What is it?
SpongeBob: I forgot how to tie my shoes.
Mr. Krabs:[laughs] That's all?
SpongeBob: So you'll show me how?
Mr. Krabs: I don't wear shoes. [SpongeBob gasps then runs over to Tom]
SpongeBob: Could you show me how to tie my shoes?
Tom: Uh, fins? [points to his feet. SpongeBob runs to another customer]
SpongeBob: Could you show me how to tie my shoes?
Eel: Well, I would, but, sadly, I am only an eel. [wiggles her tail in front of SpongeBob's face. SpongeBob runs to of the door to Jellyfish Fields]
SpongeBob:[He talks to 3 Jellyfish] Could any of you show me how to tie my laces? [The Jellyfish sting him. The scene changes to show SpongeBob looking under a rock of 6 Sea Urchins] Could you, you, you, you, or you show me how to tie a knot? [The Sea Urchins run off. The Scene changes to SpongeBob looking at a creature in a cave] Could you show me how to tie a simple knot? [pair of eyes become multiple eyes and the monster eats SpongeBob. He notices a fisherman skeleton inside its mouth] Could you show me how to tie my shoes? [The monster shoots him out of its blow hole and onto the painting of Painty the Pirate] Could you show me how to tie my shoes?
Painty: Arr, I be just a painting of a head.
SpongeBob: Doesn't anybody know how to tie a knot?! [lightning appears and it becomes night. The Flying Dutchman appears while laughing]
Flying Dutchman: Did somebody say knot?
SpongeBob:[eyes are large. he shakes in fear and his nose goes down.] I did.
Flying Dutchman: So, you want to tie knots, do ya? Well, do ya?!
SpongeBob: Yes, please, Mr. Flying Dutchman, sir.
Flying Dutchman: Then you've come to the right flying ghost, kid. You're looking at the first place winner in the fancy knottin' contest for the last 3,000 years!
SpongeBob: Hooray! [floats up into the air and turns into a heart]
Flying Dutchman:[grabs SpongeBob] You're gonna have to not do that. And stop staring at me with them big old eyes. [SpongeBob's eyes shrink] Now, stand back and watch me be knotty. [laughs and pulls out a rope] Haha! Behold! [rope is in pretzel shape] The pretzel knot!
SpongeBob: Ooh... [Flying Dutchman makes the rope into 2 diamond shapes]
Flying Dutchman: The double diamond knot! [holds the rope, now in the shape of a square, in front of SpongeBob] The square knot! [He pulls it away and it slithers over and squeezes SpongeBob] The constrictor! [Grabs SpongeBob and pulls him apart revealing a knot that looks like intestines] The gut knot! [Flying Dutchman makes a knot in the shape of a pillow] The pillow knot. [turns the knot over where SpongeBob is sleeping wearing a purple sleeping cap. Then, the Flying Dutchman makes the knot into a butterfly] The butterfly knot. [It starts to flutter away]
Flying Dutchman: Wait, There's more! [SpongeBob takes out a pen and paper and his Jellyfishing glasses.] The monkey chain! [shows the rope as a chain] The monkey's fist! [shows the rope into a ball] The monkey! [shows the rope as a monkey]
Monkey Knot: Ooh, ooh!
Flying Dutchman: This one here's a loop knot, otherwise known as the 'poop loop'. [pulls the rope]
SpongeBob:[laughs] Those are great, Mr. Flying Dutchman, sir. Now can you show me how to tie my shoes?
Flying Dutchman:[laughs] I don't know how to tie me shoes. I haven't worn shoes for over 5,000 years! [He waves his tail around. He holds a sock with two blue stripes up] But sometimes I like to wear this little sock over me ghostly tail. [laughs as he flies off while lightning goes off. The scene changes SpongeBob crawling into his pineapple.]
SpongeBob: Not now, Gary.
SpongeBob: I'm not in the mood, Gary.
Gary: Meow. [The scene changes to SpongeBob's bedroom. Off-Screen] Meow.
SpongeBob:[crawls into bed] Just leave me and me untied shoes alone, Gary [Gary roars knocking SpongeBob off the bed and onto the floor] Okay, Gary, you have my attention.
Gary: Meow. [ties SpongeBob's shoes]
SpongeBob:[gasps] Gary! Well, I'll be! You can tie shoes! [Gary shows hes wearing shoes that look like old-style bowling shoes, under his shell] Hoppin' clams! How did you learn to do that? [Gary's shell opens revealing a record. The music starts and SpongeBob starts dancing.]
Ween:[song Loop dee Loop!] ♪Wanna learn how to tie your shoe? [The scene changes to show SpongeBob in a classroom wearing a teacher's outfit and on the chalkboard there are sketches of shoes.] It's a very easy thing to do. [Gary appears on a stool. SpongeBob puts on his glasses and taps the board with his pointer.] Just sit on down [Patrick appears in the desk next to SpongeBob.] and I'll give you the scoop, [Patrick holds out an ice cream cone and SpongeBob gives him a tied shoe that looks like SpongeBob's shoe. Patrick looks surprised.] What's that? [The scene changes to show the words "Loop Dee Loop" in shoelaces and SpongeBob pulls on two of the aglets.] It's called the loop-dee-loop. [The scene changes to show SpongeBob's leg with a untied shoe.] You gotta take a lace in each hand, [Two SpongeBobs holding an aglet in one of each's hands goes up and past the screen. The scene changes again to show the SpongeBobs crossing each other's paths.] You go over and under again. [The SpongeBobs come back around under the cross path that they made. The go upward and past the screen. They come back and pass each other's path one more time.] You make a loop-dee-loop and [The scene changes to show a small SpongeBob tying the lace of a big SpongeBob's shoe] pull. And your shoes are [The Big SpongeBob is shown wearing a top hat and giant shoes. He takes his hat off and kicks the newly tied shoe. It flies off.] lookin' cool. [The scene changes to show a SpongeBob multiplying into multiple SpongeBobs and follows the lyrics.] You go over and back, left to right, Loop-dee-loop [The scene changes to show SpongeBob holding his laces while jumping] and you pull 'em tight, [The scene changes to show SpongeBob with a bunny toy.] Like bunny ears [A present appears.] or a Christmas bow, [the Bunny toy becomes a bunny slipper and SpongeBob is seen wearing it and the present as shoes] Lace 'em up and you're ready to go. [SpongeBob runs out of the scene. The scene changes to show SpongeBob jumping off of a tight rope wire swing thing. He stops and spins around and then falls.] You make a loop-dee-loop and pull, [The scene changes to show SpongeBob and Gary falling into a giant shoe that looks like SpongeBob's shoe.] And your shoes are lookin' cool. [SpongeBob pulls on the laces and wings appear on both sides of the shoe and the shoe plane takes off. The Scene changes to show the plane passing giant tied shoe laces. The Shoe plane hits a roller coaster track and the wings fall off and it becomes a roller coaster car.] You make a loop-dee-loop and pull, [The shoe falls off of the track and lands on the ground] And your shoes are lookin' cool.♪