Yeti Krabs/transcript

Template:EpisodeTr/188b

• [scene opens with Squidward sleeping at the Krusty Krab with a newspaper in his face until Mr. Krabs takes it off]
• Mr. Krabs: Squidward!
• Squidward: [screams] What is your problem?
• Mr. Krabs: My problem is that YOU aren't workin'! Which means [pointing to himself] I lose M-U-N-E-E! [pointing to Squidward] Which means YOU lose your J-O-B!
• Squidward: Remind me again, is that good news or bad news?
• Mr. Krabs: Tentacles, I mean it! [pointing to Squidward again] You get back to mindin' that register!
• Squidward: Minding it for [pointing at an empty Krusty Krab] which customer?
• Mr. Krabs: I see your point. But still! I'm not payin' ya to dream sweat nothin's! Do somethin'! [raises his hands in the air] Pick up a mop, a broom, uh, a window wiper, a spatuler even!
• Squidward: SpongeBob's got that covered.
• SpongeBob: [mops the floor while humming, and as he sweeps, he comes across the window, causing his eye to protrude out, then he gasps] Dust specs on the window! Don't worry, boss man, I got it covered! [generates an extra arm with a window wiper and wipes the window] That's better! Oh, sounds like the dishes are done soaking! [makes his way to the kitchen sink and begins humming again]
• Mr. Krabs: That's a perfect example of what I'm talkin' about! Stayin' busy!
• Squidward: I was busy, trying to forget about this place 'till you woke me up!
• Mr. Krabs: Okay, have it your way, Squidward! Since you can't be bothered to take the initiator of yerself, it's clear I must assign tasks to ye. Hmm...Mr. Squidward! Scrub the walls of the Krusty Krab 'till they gleam!
• SpongeBob: Already done, sir! [comes sliding off the wall, then a shot of a sparkling Krusty Krab is shown]
• Mr. Krabs: Well, that's very nice, boy, thank you. But, you see, I'm tryin' to give Squidward a task.
• SpongeBob: Hmm...well, the smoke duct needs sweeping!
• Mr. Krabs: Excellent idea, Mr. SquarePants! [with his right hand up in the air] Squidward, I'd like YOU to sweep- [hears a noise in the ducts and looks up at them and a dirty SpongeBob coming out of the ducts]
• SpongeBob: Done and dusted! [coughs up a puff of smoke]
• Squidward: Nice working conditions, BUUUUUT, no thanks! [grabs his magazine]
• Mr. Krabs: Oh, is that so? [lifts the bottom of one of the tables with gum underneath] Perhaps you'd prefer scraping the gum off the underside of these tables!
• Squidward: Oh, a restaurant employee handling chewed bubblegum? That's gotta violate a lot of health codes.
• SpongeBob: [while pulling off a piece of gum from the underside of another table] Not if you wear gloves, it doesn't. [pulls on the gum, then sticks on a giant ball of chewed gum] Mind if I take this to Patrick after work, Mr. Krabs?
• Mr. Krabs: I guess SpongeBob has a handle on all the Krusty Krab duties. [to Squidward] Which leaves YOU with all the extra circulars! [puts a pair of shoes on the edge of the cashier boat] Like shinin' me shoes!
• Squidward: Sorry, all out of polish.
• SpongeBob: [appears out of the boat, then polishes the shoes] Well, I'm not!
• Mr. Krabs: Wash me boat! [spots SpongeBob outside the Krusty Krab, filling himself up with water and washing the boat while humming] Listen, Squidward, I'm gonna get a full day's work out of you one way or another.
• Squidward: It doesn't matter what you "want" me to do, I won't do it! [an angered Mr. Krabs' face turns purple, until he gets an idea]
• Mr. Krabs: Oh-ho, yeah? Fine...if you refuse to work, then I can't be held responsible.
• SpongeBob: [coming from washing Mr. Krabs' boat] Responsible for what, Mr. Krabs?
• Mr. Krabs: For...for... [thinks for a second] ...a visit from...the Yeti Krab. [his right eye points left and right]
• SpongeBob: [gulps] The Yeti Krab?
• Mr. Krabs: [comes close to SpongeBob] Yeah. Everyone's heard of the abominable Yeti Krab... [pulls his eyebrows longer] ...with his long, wide hair, and six-pack abs... [shows his teeth] ...and yeller' teeth! And everybody knows that he only comes out of his mountain cave to feed on lazy workers. [comes close to Squidward] He's attracted to the scent, he can smell your lazy, lazy stench from hundreds of miles away!
• SpongeBob: [screams] Oh, wait. What am I worried about? I'm a hard-working, self-motivated sponge.
• Mr. Krabs: Yes, but that won't make any difference because of your proximity to Squidward's laziness. You will be eaten!
• SpongeBob: [gasps] Squidward and I are as close as brothers!
• Squidward: Ludacris.
• Mr. Krabs: You won't think so if that big, hairy fellow wants to eat ya! [chuckles] Yeah. Now, listen up, boys! Bossman Krabs is steppin' out for a minute. [while putting dirty clothes on the order boat] But I want this ton of laundry done before I come back, or-
• SpongeBob: [interrupts Mr. Krabs] Or the Yeti Krab will smell our laziness and eat us!
• Mr. Krabs: Precisely. See ya, boys! [steps out of the Krusty Krab]
• Squidward: Whatever. [relaxes]
• SpongeBob: Squidward, what are you doing? [sniffs] Oh, no! Your lack of work is taking on an odor!
• Squidward: [picks up a pair of underwear] You sure it's not these you're smelling?
• SpongeBob: If the Yeti Krab catches wind, he's gonna... [his nose pops like a balloon] you know, [whispers] eat us!
• Squidward: Oh, come on, SpongeBob. Krabs' Yeti story is a complete and total krock!
• SpongeBob: [gasps] Squidward, Mr. Krabs would never make up something like that!
• Squidward: You can believe in whatever garbage you want to. Just do it away from me. Now, run along and wash Krabs' undies.
• SpongeBob: You got it, Squidward! [SpongeBob forms into a washing machine and takes Mr. Krabs' dirty laundry] Anything to keep that Yeti Krab at bay. [puts the laundry in his mouth, then puts laundry soap through his head, turns his eye like a knob to delicate, and pulls his nose to start the washing process]
• Narrator: Just then... By sheer coincidence... [Cuts to the mountain tops where a mysterious monster with red crab claws and white fur is lurking. The monster is revealed to be the Yeti Krab that was mentioned by Mr. Krabs earlier. The Yeti Krab sniffs the air and walks menacingly towards Bikini Bottom. He stops and sniffs a sign with an arrow and the word Bikini Bottom on it. He smashes it with his claws and continues walking. He stops and sniffs at a mailbox. He takes a bite of it but spits it out. He continues walking until he stops at a department store named Gramma's Closet. He sniffs the window and growls at it. He continues to walk until he feels a growling motion in his body. It shows his heart, lungs, and stomach. The stomach looks more agitated than the heart and lungs.]
• Yeti Krab's stomach: Let me out of here, you hairy brute! I can find my own food! [The Yeti Krabs roars in disgust and hunger until he smells the scent of Krabby Patties. He immediately runs to the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob in cleaning the tables]
• SpongeBob: [hears someone at the door] Good day, sir. Are you Yeti to order? [notices the Yeti Krab is behind him and runs towards Squidward who is sound asleep] Oh, Squidward!
• Squidward: [wakes up] What? What? What? Wha... huh?
• SpongeBob: You are not gonna believe this! [points to the Yeti Krab sniffing around] There's a Yeti Krab at table 7! And he is sniffing out the lazy!
• Squidward: [laughs] Of course, he is. Nice costume, Eugene. Couldn't you at least have it dry-cleaned or pressed? [The Yeti Krab roars at SpongeBob and Squidward in the faces] Didn't brush this morning. Did we?
• SpongeBob: Please don't eat us, Mr. Yeti! We're not lazy!
• Squidward: [sits back and relaxes] Oh, yes I am.
• SpongeBob: Oh, boy! I'll have to work twice as hard to make up for Squidward's laziness! [runs to the tables and pushes some chairs in. The Yeti Krab walks up to SpongeBob as the young fry cook chuckles nervously. However, the table starts to wobble] A wobbly table! Oh, we can't have that! [SpongeBob sticks a door stopper underneath one side of the table stand, but the table continues to wobble. SpongeBob places another door stopper on the other side, but it still continues to wobble.] Come on. No. [SpongeBob continues to fix the table as the Yeti Krab grows impatient and growls.] There! Perfect! [The table now has a huge stack of door stoppers underneath. SpongeBob walks to the condiment dispensers and opens the mustard.] Yikes! Time to top off the mustard! [SpongeBob pulls a large bag of mustard, rips it open, and over fills the dispenser. SpongeBob then runs into the kitchen towards the spice rack.] See I'm busy! I'm organizing the spice racks! By color! [The Yeti Krabs sniffs some of the spices, but sneezes really hard. The force of he sneeze makes SpongeBob bounce around the kitchen. SpongeBob slams on the wall and slides down next to the grease trap door.] Well, I guess while I'm down here, I'll hit the old grease traps again. [opens the door and reveals bubbling grease underneath. SpongeBob takes a large barrel and begins to absorb the grease with his left arm and foot. He uses his right arm and foot to fill up the barrel and SpongeBob sighs in relief. The Yeti Krabs takes one sample of grease, sniffs it, and eats it with his claw. SpongeBob becomes startled and grease spits out of his body.] I'm not lazy! Don't eat me! [The grease is sprayed on the Yeti Krab and he aggressively roars. The scene cuts to the lazy Squidward reading the newspaper.] I'm sorry, Mr. Yeti Krab!
• Squidward: [sighs] I almost feel sorry for the little nimrod. [Then drops of burnishing liquid splatters in the newspaper and on Squidward's hat] What the? Do you mind?
• SpongeBob: [SpongeBob is upside-down, mopping the ceiling with burnishing liquid] Sorry, Squidward! Just burnishing the ceiling!
• Squidward: [turns to the Yeti Krab] Oh, I hope you're happy, Mr. Krabs! You're driving him insane! [The Yeti Krab growls at Squidward] Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll eat me if I'm lazy. Whatever. [The Yeti Krab roars real loudly until sparks causes him to back away. The sparks burn Squidward's newspaper to the crisp.] Not the home and garden section! SpongeBob! [SpongeBob is burning the metal shut on Mr. Krabs' office door]
• SpongeBob: [Takes of the mask] Huh? Oh, sorry. Just making all the rivets are securely welded.
• Squidward: SpongeBob, we have no customers today! Ago, we have nothing to do! [points to the Yeti Krab] No matter what that buffoon wants you to think!
• SpongeBob: Shh! Squidward, he might hear you! Don't worry Mr. Yeti Krab! We have plenty to do! [SpongeBob gets off his chair and carries a pile of toilet paper to the bathroom] I can replenish the toilet paper! [Then runs with a bucket of paint and a paint roller] And redecorate Mr. Krabs' office! [Then sits to the table and makes origami with some napkins] And refold the napkins into origami figures! [Then knits some things with yarn and needles] Knit straw cozies! [The straws are covered in knitted cozies. SpongeBob then sprays a bar of soap with the dishwasher hose] Clean the soap! [Then cleans grill with a surface waxer] Re-clean the grill! [Goes outside the kitchen] Washing inside the walls! [Slides into the wall and comes back out covered in filth. Then takes a vacuum and sweeps the table with it.] Sucking up every dust particle in the restaurant! [SpongeBob sucks Squidward's newspaper with the vacuum.]
• Squidward: Have you lost it, SpongeBob?!
• SpongeBob: Lost it? [chuckles nervously] Lost it? [chuckles] What a silly thing to say! [His vacuum sucks SpongeBob's hat. SpongeBob becomes more nervous and runs in panic]
• Squidward: [sighs] Guess I'm down to the comic section. [SpongeBob backs up in fear and jump in front of Squidward.]
• SpongeBob: Squidward! You were right! There's no more work to do! [hugs Squidward] I have done it all! [The Yeti Krabs slashes the newspaper in pieces with his claws and roars viciously] Which means he is gonna eat us!! [The Yeti Krab chases SpongeBob]
• Squidward: That does it! [Squidward goes to through the back door where the dumpster is] I have had it with this ridiculous roose! [He takes an empty trash bin and stuck his feet through. Then he jumps on two empty shoe boxes and made them look like shoes.] Using fear to prey on a feeble mind! [Digs through the garbage and pulls out an old cushion.] Even SpongeBob doesn't deserve that! [Takes some of the stuffing out and puts some on his face, arms and legs to look like fur. He then takes a mop and rips it off the stick.] Enjoy spooking the workers, eh Krabs? Well, we'll just see how you like it. [Puts the mop on his head and sticks his eyes out through like crab eyes. The Yeti Krab is about to attack SpongeBob until Squidward bursts in with his disguise.] Roar! See? I can dress up as a convincing Yeti Krab too! [The Yeti Krab roars in Squidward's face.]
• SpongeBob: [Sweats uncontrollably] T-T-T-T-T-T-Two Yeti Krabs! [SpongeBob cringes in fear as his brain pops and releases air. SpongeBob then passes out.]
• Squidward: [Squidward is now on top of the Yeti Krab pulling his head] Take off that phony suit, Mr. Krabs! You're not fooling anybody! [At that same moment, the real Mr. Krabs shows up at the front door.]
• Mr. Krabs: I'm back, fellas!
• Squidward: [Still pulling on the Yeti Krab's head] Sorry, Mr. Krabs. I'm a little busy trying to pull off that stupid mask of yours.
• Mr. Krabs: Uh, Squidward?
• Squidward: What? [Squidward looks for a minute at Mr. Krabs and the Yeti Krab. He is finally convinced that the Yeti Krab is real, not Mr. Krabs in disguise. He shrieks as the Yeti Krab glares at him. The Yeti Krab grabs Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and the unconscious SpongeBob, ties them to the grill and turns the heat up to cook.]
• Mr. Krabs: We're as good as Yeti food! I blame Squidward!
• SpongeBob: [Regains consciousness] Guys, do you hear that?
• Squidward: You mean the sound of my own flesh sizzling to a crisp? [The Yeti Krab's stomach growls]
• SpongeBob: No, I'm talking about the sound of a hungry customer. He doesn't want to eat us for being lazy, he wants to eat us because he's hungry. Fellas, leave this to me. [Takes out a can of "Emergency Krabby Patties" out of his pocket with his feet and open it with his nose. He puts the patties on the grill and cooks them. Then he uses his feet to flip the patties with the spatula, puts them in buns with tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, ketchup, and mustard on a plate and serves them to the Yeti Krab. The Yeti Krab sniffs the patties, eats them and is now fully satisfied with the meal he wanted.]
• Mr. Krabs: Way to go, boy! He loves it! [The Yeti Krab pays Mr. Krabs with a dollar.] And look, he's a paying customer. [The Yeti Krab walks happily out of the Krusty Krab and heads back to the mountains.] Come back and see us anytime, Mr. Yeti Krab! [Mr. Krabs turns to SpongeBob and Squidward.] Hey, what are you two doing standing idol? Squidward, sweep out the crow's nest!
• Squidward: No.
• SpongeBob: [SpongeBob takes a broom and runs.] Done! [Cuts to the outside of the Krusty Krab.]
• Mr. Krabs: Refinish me floors!
• Squidward: No.
• SpongeBob: Done!
• Mr. Krabs: Build me a new safe!
• Squidward: Nuh-uh.
• SpongeBob: Consider it done! [The episode ends]