[A jellyfish swims peacefully and SpongeBob tries to catch it. Patrick chases a jellyfish, and SpongeBob twirls around. Patrick chases a bunch of jellyfish, and crashes into SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Whoa! Do you think we caused an earthquake by hitting the ground too hard?
Patrick: Maybe. Or maybe it's those guys. [points to sea whelks that are moving towards them]
SpongeBob: Oh, I've never seen those guys around before... [SpongeBob and Patrick get run over by the whelks]
Patrick: Ewwww! We're all covered in slime!
SpongeBob: Not to worry! I am a sponge after all! [absorbs the slime] Hold still, Patrick! [cleans the slime off of Patrick]
Patrick: SpongeBob, you're leaking.
SpongeBob: Patrick, do you mind? I've gotta wring myself out.
Patrick: Say no more. [turns around]
SpongeBob:[squeezes himself] Ah! Oh! We've got to warn Bikini Bottom about those creatures!
Bikini Bottomites:[scream] Whelks! [a whelk chases three fish and spits slime on them, and eats them]
SpongeBob: Oh, what do we do?
Patrick: What are those things?
Johnny:[on TV] Sea Whelks! Large sea snails are invading Bikini Bottom and are on the attack! They are eating everything and they spit purple slime! [a whelk eats Johnny] Luckily, the news station is safe. This is Bikini Bottom News signing out. ["Please Stand By" screen appears]
SpongeBob: Whelks? Heh, I'm not afraid of some goofy old sea snails!
SpongeBob:[shrieks] Oh, hey Gary!
Gary: Meow. [slithers away]
SpongeBob: Gary can be a little bit creepy.
Patrick: Well, I'm not afraid of them! Watch this! [taps on whelk]
Patrick:[raspberries the whelk for about 14 seconds, and stops] Wait, hold on a second. [gets a glass of water, drinks it, clears throat, and continues raspberrying]
SpongeBob: Patrick, what happened?
Patrick: Can't talk, Running! [SpongeBob gets scared and runs away. They run to The Krusty Krab]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward, please let us in! [Nat walks by and opens the door] Oh, heh heh.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! [bursts through the door along with Patrick] Mr. Krabs! Ravenous sea whelks are terrorizing Bikini Bottom! They kinda look like Gary, but not really, and they spit purple slime! And they're eating everyone! They tried to eat me and Patrick, but we ran and we got away!
Mr. Krabs: Ravenous? [holds up a plate of Krabby Patties] That means hungry! [the whelks are starting towards The Krusty Krab] Krabby Patties! Get your Krabby Patties! Only 3.99 each! [the whelks swallow the Krabby Patties] That'll be 54.95. [the whelks spit out the Krabby Patties] Don't care for Krabby Patties, huh? Well, maybe there's something else on the menu you'd like!
[a siren sounds and a platform comes out of the Krusty Krab, with SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward on it]
Patrick:[taps on SpongeBob] Spon... Spo... Spo...!
SpongeBob: Use your words, Patrick! [gets frightened and tugs on Squidward] Squid... Squi... Squi... Squi...!
Squidward: Yep, that's one angry mama.
[a larger sea whelk arrives and roars]
Mr. Krabs: Welcome to The Krusty Krab! [the whelk growls][nervously] You seem to be a mollusk of deserting taste. Could I introduce you to a side of Kelp Fries? [the whelk swallows Mr. Krabs] Hey! I'm not on the menu!
SpongeBob: Squidward, it swallowed Mr. Krabs!
Squidward: And this affects me, how? [the whelk swallows Squidward and he screams]
Patrick: SpongeBob, what are we going to do? [SpongeBob and Patrick run out of the Krusty Krab, which is also swallowed by the whelk. They run over to Sandy's Treedome]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Sandy! Please let us in! [the whelks start toward them and bite and they scream] Let us in!
Sandy:[looks through her door] SpongeBob? Patrick?
SpongeBob and Patrick: Please! Please, let us in!
Sandy: How can I be sure you're not whelks in disguise?
SpongeBob: We're not whelks! We're not whelks!
Sandy:[to SpongeBob] What's your mom's maiden name?
SpongeBob: Eeh, BubbleBottom!
Sandy: Patrick, what's your first name?
Patrick: Uh, is this a trick question?
Sandy:[sighs] You're in. [lets them in and activates a lever that covers her treedome in metal] I think I have the answer! Now, do ya want the regular answer, or the ACTION PACKED answer?!
SpongeBob: Uh, action packed, please?
Sandy: Yes! [jumps in the air] I need a sample of their slime! If I can analyze it, I might be deduce the cause of their behavior! And maybe we can stop them!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Hmmmmm.
Sandy:[gasps] Oh, no!
[the whelks melt the metal wall and break through the flooding treedome. Sandy removes SpongeBob's helmet, puts it on, and pulls a string, draining the water inside]
Sandy: Come on, guys! Follow me! [SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy climb up the tree]
SpongeBob: Well, I guess this is end, Patrick!
Patrick: You guys go, I'll hold them off. [sadly] And if I failed, at least my sacrifice will be delayable!
SpongeBob: I can't let you do that, Patrick! I'll be the one to delay my life!
Patrick: Okay, you go!
Sandy: No, I'll go! The whelks don't seem to be after land critters! [a whelk eats Sandy. SpongeBob and Patrick scream and get swallowed by the whelk]
SpongeBob: Patrick, look!
Both: The Krusty Krab!
SpongeBob: The gang's all here!
Squidward: We're closed. Come back tomorrow.
Sandy:[takes a sample of the slime] Hey, SpongeBob! Lend me your corneas for a second! You too, Patrick!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh, okay. [removes corneas]
Sandy:[looks through microscope] Well, golly! No wonder they're all grumpy! Them whelks are full of germs! They're sicker than a bull with the squirrel pox!
SpongeBob: Oh, I know what to do! After all, I've had the suds! I just have to absorb the whelks' snot, and they'll return to normal! [absorbs the slime and cleans off mama whelk]
Mama Whelk: Meow.
SpongeBob: Now, let's get the rest of you cleaned! [swallows the whelks and swishes them around in his mouth a little, and spits them out]
Whelks: Meow. Meow. Meow.
SpongeBob: Aww, cute. Ahhh... Ahhh... Ahhhh... Chhoooooo! [sneezes out Patrick, Sandy, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and The Krusty Krab. The customers cheer and SpongeBob sniffles] Excuse me! [laughs]
Mr. Krabs: You did it, boy!
Squidward:[picks up a whelk] So, these things went crazy just because they had the sniffles? [the whelk sneezes on Squidward and everyone laughs]
Patrick: It's in his eye! [SpongeBob sneezes again]