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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants The Great Patty Caper short "What if the Mystery Ended This Way...?," which aired on March 8, 2011.

  • Narrator: What if the mystery ended this way?
  • Policeman: Well, gentlemen, I believe our porter is really none other than international fugitive Orin J. Ruffy. [the policeman pulls off the porter's head and Squidward is underneath] You're not. [a countdown begins]
  • Policeman: International fugitive Orin J. Ruffy. [the policeman pulls of the porter's head and Sandy is underneath]
  • Sandy: Howdy y’all! [a countdown begins]
  • Policeman: Fugitive Orin J. Ruffy. [the policeman pulls off the porter's head and Patrick is underneath]
  • Patrick: [laughs] [a countdown begins]
  • Policeman: Orin J. Ruffy. [the policeman pulls off the porter's head and SpongeBob is underneath]
  • SpongeBob: I think not. You, sir are Orin J. Ruffy. [SpongeBob pulls off the policeman's head and Orin J. Ruffy is underneath]
  • Orin J. Ruffy: Huh? [runs away]
  • SpongeBob: Huh.
  • Narrator: Well, that was unexpected.