This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants The Great Patty Caper short "What if the Mystery Ended This Way...?," which aired on March 8, 2011.
- Narrator: What if the mystery ended this way?
- Policeman: Well, gentlemen, I believe our porter is really none other than international fugitive Orin J. Ruffy. [the policeman pulls off the porter's head and Squidward is underneath] You're not. [a countdown begins]
- Policeman: International fugitive Orin J. Ruffy. [the policeman pulls of the porter's head and Sandy is underneath]
- Sandy: Howdy y’all! [a countdown begins]
- Policeman: Fugitive Orin J. Ruffy. [the policeman pulls off the porter's head and Patrick is underneath]
- Patrick: [laughs] [a countdown begins]
- Policeman: Orin J. Ruffy. [the policeman pulls off the porter's head and SpongeBob is underneath]
- SpongeBob: I think not. You, sir are Orin J. Ruffy. [SpongeBob pulls off the policeman's head and Orin J. Ruffy is underneath]
- Orin J. Ruffy: Huh? [runs away]
- SpongeBob: Huh.
- Narrator: Well, that was unexpected.