Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
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Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Welcome to the Bikini Bottom Triangle" from season 7, which aired on January 28, 2011.

  • [In Bikini Bottom, an eerie fog appears, and mysterious singing occurs overnight. SpongeBob wakes up]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, where's my alarm clock?
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: [gasps] Your shell is gone, too?
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: I think we've been robbed!
  • Gary: Meow!
  • [Cuts to Squidward's house]
  • Squidward: [screams] She's gone! My clarinet is missing!
  • SpongeBob: Hmm, strange indeed...
  • [Cuts to Patrick's rock]
  • Patrick: [screams] My cuff links! They're missing! Oh, why? Why?! [sobbing]
  • SpongeBob: I hope this doesn't mean that we're missing the one thing that's nearest and dearest to our heart.
  • Squidward: Nope, I'm right here.
  • SpongeBob: The Krusty Krab! [cuts to the Krusty Krab] Phew.
  • Squidward: [moans]
  • SpongeBob: Reporting to duty, Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs? Pearl? what are you doing here?
  • Pearl: Oh, nothing, SpongeBob. Just trying to juggle schoolwork, having a social life, and running a family business, that's all.
  • Squidward: Drama queen.
  • SpongeBob: Where's your dad?
  • Pearl: I don't know. When I went to get my allowance this morning, he was gone.
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs is missing?
  • Squidward: I'm missing my clarinet.
  • SpongeBob: ...and Gary's shell.
  • Patrick: Has anyone seen my cuff links?!
  • Charles: [laughing] So, you lost your cuff links, eh? They're probably in the Bikini Bottom Triangle.
  • SpongeBob: Bikini Bottom Triangle?
  • Charles: That's right. First, an eerie fog rolls in, [makes noises with his tongue] then, you can hear the hypnotic song of the mermaids. [makes the noise again] And then, poof, your cuff links are gone. Never to return... [he leaves and laughs]
  • SpongeBob: The triangle must've taken Mr. Krabs! We gotta find him!
  • Squidward: Maybe Mr. Krabs is doing his morning dumpster dive for loose change.
  • [Behind the Krusty Krab]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, are you out here?
  • [An eerie fog appears and the mermaids begin singing]
  • Squidward: Oh, no, is that a mermaid song?
  • SpongeBob: No, just a thick eerie fog.
  • [A spotlight appears on SpongeBob and Squidward]
  • Squidward: Uh-oh!
  • [SpongeBob and Squidward scream and get pulled into the Bikini Bottom Triangle]
  • SpongeBob: Squidward.
  • [Squidward shows up in a gumball machine]
  • SpongeBob: Come on, Squidward, quit messing around. We've gotta find Mr. Kra- [sees gumballs] Hey, gumballs! [chews one and blows a bubble]
  • Squidward: Oh! This is the Bikini Bottom Triangle? Looks more like a dump.
  • SpongeBob: Come on, we've gotta find Mr. Krabs. The Krusty Krab needs him. Mr. Krabs? [Squidward trips and bumps into SpongeBob] Squidward, this is no time for seahorseplay!
  • Squidward: Oh, my neck.
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! [very drawn out] Mr. Krabs!
  • Squidward: Would you shut it already?!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, Mr. Krabs is gone. Oh, it hurts so bad! I can't take it much longer! I hope he's not in any pain...wherever he is.
  • Squidward: I think he's doing just fine. [shows Mr. Krabs getting a massage]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! You've gotta get up! We gotta get out of here!
  • Mr. Krabs: Ohh, okay, Tibor, I think I'm good.
  • Tibor: Remember to drink plenty of fluids.
  • Mr. Krabs: Look, SpongeBob, you see all this stuff, including you and me, are brought here when the mermaids sing their beautiful song. The mermaids' song triggers this here contrapteron, to suck the sky like a vacuum, dumpin' all the contents here on this island. That is how we ended up surrounded by all this valuable and resellable stuff! [Mermaids begin singing, again] Ooh. Yippee! A new shipment! Free stuff, here I- come? [SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs scream as they are chased by a pile of items] Pretty neat, eh, boy? [pulls out Patrick]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick!
  • Patrick: Have you found my cuff links?
  • SpongeBob: No. [Patrick begins eating a Krabby Patty] Patrick, is that a Krabby Patty?
  • Patrick: Yep. Pearl doesn't make them as good as you do, though.
  • Mr. Krabs: Pearl? [begins crying] Oh, me sweet little girl, all alone, with me cash register!
  • Pearl: [off-screen] Daddy!
  • Mr. Krabs: Pearl!
  • Pearl: Get me out of this trash heap! [removes her leg before falling to the ground]
  • Mr. Krabs: [hugs Pearl] Oh, me little angel. Thanks, mysterious singing mermaids!
  • Pearl: Enough with the hugging!
  • SpongeBob: That's it, Mr. Krabs! I'll just find the mysterious singing mermaids and ask them how to get out of here!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick are climbing a large hill]
  • Patrick: Wow, riding by piggy-back is exhausting.
  • SpongeBob: You're telling me. [falls]
  • Patrick: [hits the ground] Whoa!
  • [Shows five mermaids sitting on top of a hill]
  • Mermaid #1: I love this mirror, girls, but it is sooo ten minutes ago.
  • Mermaid #2: Like, I couldn't agree with you more.
  • Mermaid #3: Yeah, like, all this stuff is old news.
  • Mermaid Leader: Shall we ladies?
  • All mermaids: [throats clearing. they all begin singing]
  • Patrick: Ah, excuse me, hi.
  • Mermaid Leader: Umm, can I help you?
  • Patrick: [laughs and waves]
  • SpongeBob: Yes, mermaid ladies, you actually can help us.
  • Patrick: [laughs] Yeah...
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, we'd like to know how to get out of here, please.
  • Mermaid Leader: Like, this is the Bikini Bottom Triangle. Nothing ever leaves. Duh.
  • SpongeBob: Uhh, are you sure?
  • Mermaid Leader: Look, little freakazoid, we only know one thing, and that's how to surround ourself with cool new stuff whenever we feel like it, anything beyond that is T.N.O.P.
  • SpongeBob: T-nop?
  • Mermaid Leader: Uh, yeah. You know, Totally Not Our Problem.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, T.N.O.P! Okay, well, thanks anyway. Come on, Patrick, let's go. Patrick?
  • Patrick: [laughs] You go ahead, SpongeBob. I think I'm gonna hang with the ladies for a bit. [laughs. Cuts to Mr. Krabs using a metal detector]
  • Mr. Krabs: Come on, come on, I know you're in there! [finds a quarter] Ah-ha! Playing hard to get, weren't you, little one?
  • Quarter: Little one? How dare you, sir!
  • SpongeBob: Sir, I'm back. Unfortunately, I was unable to get the information from the- [passes out]
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? SpongeBob, boy-o! SpongeBob, can you hear me?
  • Pearl: Should we help?
  • Squidward: He looks fine to me.
  • Mr. Krabs: What's the matter, boy-o? [gasps] Your Krabby Patty meter's on empty! We've got to get a Krabby Patty into you quick or- [the mermaids sing again] Please great vacuum cleaner, please just give us just one- [notices a Krabby Patty at the top of the pile. gasps] ...Krabby Patty. [puts the patty into SpongeBob's mouth]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, yeah! Wow, sir, that was the single best Krabby Patty I've ever eaten.
  • Mr. Krabs: Why, thank you, boy-o. I'm glad you- Wait a minute, I didn't make that Krabby Patty, and you didn't make that Krabby Patty, and those two couldn't have made it, so it must have been that rotten pipsqueak Plankton! I've gotta stop that poor excuse for a life form from- So, how do we get out of here?
  • SpongeBob: Well, sir, based on what the mermaids told me, there... er... there is no way out.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, really? Well, I think you don't know who to talk to the ladies.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, sir, I-
  • Mr. Krabs: Look, boy, I've got a way with the ladies, and I guarantee the old Krabs charm will have 'em telling us exactly how to get out of this place. [cuts to the Mermaids] So there's really no way out of this place? 'Cause I really need to get back to the Krusty Krab to stop my arch-nemesis from ruining me business.
  • Mermaid Leader: T.N.O.P, Grandpa.
  • Mr. Krabs: T-nop?
  • SpongeBob: [to Mr. Krabs] Totally Not Our Problem.
  • Mermaid Leader: Oh, and P.S, here's your creepy pink friend back.
  • [They throw Patrick and he lands on Mr. Krabs]
  • Pearl: Daddy! Daddy!
  • Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, Pearl, daddy's okay. [tosses Patrick off]
  • Pearl: Can I go to the mall now?
  • Mr. Krabs: The mall? But, Pearl-
  • Pearl: [throws a tantrum] I wanna go to the mall! [starts crying while the mermaids are confused by this]
  • Mermaid Leader: Like, what's a mall?
  • Pearl: Wait, what? You seriously don't know what a mall is?
  • Mermaid Leader: I am seriously serious.
  • Pearl: Well, the mall is, like, only the most awesome place to get all the best, super-coolest, glittershly fabulous new stuff you want!
  • Mermaid Leader: Really?
  • Mermaid #3: No way!
  • Mermaids #1, #2, and #4: We want to go to the mall!
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, do you?
  • All Mermaids: Uh-huh!
  • Mr. Krabs: Now, how do you propose we do that, huh? Wait, I know we just hit the magic reverse button on the giant vacuum cleaner.
  • SpongeBob: That's it, sir! It's the mermaids!
  • Mr. Krabs: It sure is- what?
  • SpongeBob: The reverse switch is the mermaids! They just need to sing their song backwards.
  • Mermaid Leader: Yeah! Backwards!
  • [All mermaids clear throats and sing backwards]
  • Mr. Krabs: "Yeah, backwards." What a stupid idea that-
  • [everybody yells in surprise. The ground starts shaking and the vacuum cleaner sucks in everything on the island and transports them back to Bikini Bottom]
  • Pearl: You ready for the mall, girls?
  • All Mermaids: Yeah! Mall! Mall! Mall! Mall!
  • Squidward: Hello, miserable life, I'm back.
  • [Some Bikini Bottomites come to the pile]
  • Old Fish: And so are my dentures!
  • Gray fish: Tibor! You're alive!
  • SpongeBob: Isn't that great, Mr. Krabs? Everyone is reclaiming their stuff.
  • [Mr. Krabs walks away]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: Speaking of reclaiming... alright Plankton, I know what you're up to, but the jigs up you little conniving pipsqueak! Huh?
  • [Charles from the beginning is cooking at the grill.]
  • Charles: Actually, the name's Charles. Figured I'd hold down the fort for ya while you were gone.
  • Mr. Krabs: So, you've been the one making me Krabby Patties?
  • Charles: Yep. All me. Oh, and by the way, you've got a little vermin problem.
  • Plankton: [in a glass jar] Vermin? You take that back!
  • Charles: He's a feisty one...
  • Patrick: Hey! I found my cuff links! [puts them on and also has a suit on] That's better. Good day, gentlemen.
  • [Patrick gets into a limo and drives away]
  • Patrick: Home, Reginald.
  • SpongeBob: Patrick! You dropped your cummerbund!
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