[at the "Barg-N-Mart", SpongeBob is whistling while putting a box of Kelp cereal in his shopping cart]
SpongeBob: What's this? [reads box label] It says a free prize! [braying laughter. Takes Gary and his box of cereal home and immediately dumps out all the cereal in the bowl and munches it all down] Huh? Where's my prize? [reads cereal box again] "Free Prize." [gasps] "Offer inside"! Just send in 99 box tops! [cut to SpongeBob eating more cereal with a bunch of cereal boxes all around him] How you doing over there, Gary?
Gary: Meow. [SpongeBob opens up a box and pours the cereal in Gary's bowl] Meow.
SpongeBob: Send in the box tops... [swallows the cereal in his mouth] ...before eating all the cereal?!? [pause] Gary, you are a genius! [cuts to SpongeBob stuffing the envelopes with box tops.]
SpongeBob:[Cuts to SpongeBob outside by the mailbox] I'm waiting. I'm waiting.
SpongeBob and Patrick: I'm waiting.
Patrick: I'm waiting.
SpongeBob and Patrick: We're waiting. We're waiting.
SpongeBob: We're waiting.
Patrick: SpongeBob, what are we waiting for?
SpongeBob: We're waiting for the mailman. He's bringing me a free toy.
Patrick:[claps his hands] I love toys! Can I wait for your toy with you?
Sandy: Hiya! Hey, SpongeBob, want to do some karaaaaaa...! [SpongeBob grabs her arm and flips her on her back]
SpongeBob: Not now, I'm busy. [Sandy, looking pretty upset, brushes herself off and walks away. SpongeBob checks the mailbox again. Gary pushes his bowl by SpongeBob's foot] Oh, Gary, not now. Can't you see that I'm waiting for the mailman?! Doesn't anyone understand this?!? [checks the mailbox again then pants as Gary takes his bowl away] So tired. [stomach growls] So hungry. [tries to perk up] But... must wait...for toy.
Patrick: Hey, buddy.
SpongeBob:[screaming hysterically] What?! What do you want?! Can't you see I'm doing something here?! [pokes Patrick in the head and checks mailbox. Angrily] This better be good.
Patrick: You missed your surprise birthday party, so I just wanted to bring you a present and some cake because you missed it.
SpongeBob:[sadly, beginning to choke up] My birthday party? [tears up] I missed... my... birthday party?
Patrick: Yeah, see? [shows present and cake] Here's a present and your cake.
SpongeBob: My birthday cake.
Patrick: Yeah. Let me just get you a fork so you can eat it. [SpongeBob giggles] Uh, let me just hold the cake like this, [holds the piece of cake between his teeth] so I can get you a fork. [digs in pocket] Huh, I wonder where I put that fork. [notices he ate the cake] Oops.
SpongeBob:[disappointed] That was my cake. [sniffs back tears] What is the present?
Patrick: Oh, yeah. [SpongeBob begins to cheer up a little as Patrick pulls out a present box and opens it; the two peer inside] The fork!
[SpongeBob's smile distorts and he breaks down crying]
SpongeBob:[drops to his knees ] That stupid toy! I wasted my whole life waiting for it!
Patrick: Actually, you've only been here 20 minutes.
SpongeBob: I've been mean to Gary and I flipped Sandy, and now you hate me cause... I'm a big jerk! [cries]
Patrick: No, I don't.
SpongeBob: Yes, you do.
Mailfish: SpongeBob SquarePants?
SpongeBob:[crying and sobbing uncontrollably]
Patrick: Could you come back later? He's having a moment.
Mailfish: Yeah. I just need a signature for...
SpongeBob:[still crying and sobbing uncontrollably]
Patrick:[yelling] I said he's having a moment! Now leave him alone!
Mailfish: But I just...
SpongeBob:[still sobbing] No, Patrick, people like me don't deserve moments. [signs for the package] I get so caught up in...
Both: Whoo! Yeah! [both riverdance, laugh and dance on the ground. SpongeBob opens up the package to reveal a green-headed, purple-colored body toy]
SpongeBob: Patrick, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Both: It's beautiful! [Patrick touches it and its springs pop out]
SpongeBob:[jittering] I waited so long...
SpongeBob:[still jittering] And you broke it...
Patrick: You okay, buddy?
SpongeBob:[calmly cradling his broken toy] Yes, yes I'm okay.
Patrick:[sighs] For a sec, I...
SpongeBob:[screams at Patrick] You! You ruined my free toy!
Patrick: I'm sorry. Oh, maybe if you just... [pokes it but the springs stretch out. SpongeBob screams. Patrick screams too, with sobs mixed in with it. SpongeBob screams again and then they both cry. Squidward walks down the street while SpongeBob and Patrick are rolling around screaming and crying]
Squidward:[to self] Just keep walking, Squiddy, don't make eye contact. [walks into his house, goes upstairs to look out the window and see SpongeBob & Patrick still screaming and crying, then closes his window] Ah, now to soothe my frayed nerves. [screaming and crying resume. Squidward is irritated. He lets go of his clarinet. It spins around in the air. Squidward walks out of his house] Alright, what's going on? Why are you two crying?
SpongeBob:[stammering and sobbing] I-I ate... box-box-box tops. And then... I'm waiting. I'm waiting. And then he came and we're waiting. We're waiting. And then my toy and then you and then snap and then this. [shows toy. SpongeBob and Patrick still cry. Squidward fixes it by pushing its head down]
Squidward: There. Now see? [shows how the toy works] It's supposed to do that.
SpongeBob:[happily] Hey, my toy's okay!
Squidward: Good. Now will you two be quiet?
SpongeBob: Look, Patrick, Squidward fixed it. [both run over and hug Squidward] How can we ever thank you?