m (→Patchy Scene: removing unneeded categories and general fixes, removed: Category:2009 transcripts) |
120d (Message Wall | contribs) No edit summary Tag: rte-source |
||
| (46 intermediate revisions by 27 users not shown) | |||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
| + | {{NoEdit|Transcript|120d}} |
||
| − | {{ITranscript}} |
||
| − | {{EpisodeTr |
+ | {{EpisodeTr/123-124}} |
| + | {{L|''[The episode begins with a stop-motion intro. More information can be found here: [[SpongeBob SquarePants Theme Song#SpongeBob Truth or Square version]].]''}} |
||
| − | |title = Truth or Square |
||
| + | {{L|''[The real episode begins with a clip of Patchy entering his house after being shot out of a cannon from [[Shanghaied]]. It is surrounded by a picture frame that it surrounded by a red background.]''}} |
||
| − | |titlecard = Truth or Square.PNG |
||
| + | {{L|Ricky Gervais| ''[As a voice over]'' Ten years ago, an unknown ''[The clip is replaced by a clip of Patchy laughing in "[[Party Pooper Pants]]".]'' pirate from Encino began a ''[The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy removing the SpongeBob items off his bed from "[[The Sponge Who Could Fly]]".]'' decade long obsession ''[The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy in his one man band from "Party Pooper Pants".]'' with TV's most beloved ''[The clip is replaced by a clip of Patchy putting the SpongeBob cookie ornament on his Christmas tree from "[[Christmas Who?]]".]'' an absorbent sponge. And today, ''[The clip is replace by a clip of Patchy being spun on the playground roundabout from "The Sponge Who Could Fly".]'' a mere ten years later, obviously, ''[The clip is replaced by a clip of Patchy in a barrel and female parrots trying to kiss him from "Party Pooper Pants".]'' ten years ago, I said that, ''[The clip is replaced by a clip of Patchy in a cannon and then being shot out of it from "Shanghied".]'' he has traveled all the way to a far off land known as, "Burbank". ''[The clip is replaced by a clip of Patchy going down a slide from "The Sponge Who Could Fly".]'' To find Nicktoons Animation Studio ''[The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy ripping his underwear off from "The Sponge Who Could Fly".]'' and meet his idol ''[The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy being chewed on by a T-Rex from [[Ugh]].]'' face to face for the first time ''[The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy getting angry in "The Sponge Who Could Fly".]'' in ''[The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy rolling around in the lost episode's film strip from "The Sponge Who Could Fly".]'' ten years...it's ten years ago. ''[The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy holding up a SpongeBob cookie when he was talking about if Squidward was right about Christmas in "Christmas Who?".]'' It's ten years ago. ''[The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy seeing the stick of dynamite and it going off from "Party Pooper Pants".]'' Let's see what happens, yeah.}} |
||
| − | |seasonnumber = 6 |
||
| + | {{L|The screen fades to black. The scene opens up to the front of Nickelodeon Animation Studios, where [[Patchy's Mom]]'s car is pulling up. The scene changes to show the left of the car. Patchy gets out.]''}} |
||
| − | |episodenumber = 123-124 |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy the Pirate|Oh. Bye Mom. Thanks for the lift. ''[Patchy's mom drives off, leaving smoke behind. Patchy coughs.]'' Hey, kids. Isn't this exiting? I'm here at Nickelodeon, home of SpongeBob SquarePants. And I'm gonna ask him if he'll be my guest of honor on my tenth anniversary TV special. ''[Patchy Chuckles. An image of the special's title appears. It reads, "Patchy the Pirate's SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club Big Time Celebratory Television Extravaganza!" On the left, there is an image of Patchy. Next to him is the word, "Starring" and below him is his name. On the right, there is an image of Potty. Next to him is the word, "Starring" and below him is his name. The scene returns to Patchy.]'' Come on. ''[Patchy waves indicating to come that way. He walks to the gate. The scene shifts to show a speaker communicator. Patchy's hook is show pressing it]'' Ahoy.}} |
||
| − | |airdate = [[November 6]], [[2009]] |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene shifts to show patchy hunched over next to the speaker.]''}} |
||
| − | }} |
||
| + | {{L|Security Guard|''[through the speaker]'' Sir, may I help you?}} |
||
| − | ==Patchy== |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Yes. This is Patchy the Pirate for SpongeBob SquarePants. I believe he's expecting me. I sent him over 400 letters...this week.}} |
||
| − | *Announcer: 10 years ago, an unknown pirate from Encino began a decade-long obsession with TV's most beloved and absorbent sponge. And today, a mere 10 years later, obviously, 10 years later, I said that. He has traveled all the way to a far off land known as Burbank. To find NickToons Animation Studios and meet his idol face to face for the first time in 10 years? 10 years, 10 years ago. Let see what happens. |
||
| + | {{L|Security Guard|Uh, yes. SpongeBob is not here right now, sir.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|That's okay. I can wait. ''[Patchy takes out a lawn chair and sits down. The down to the gate opens and this startles Patchy.]'' SpongeBob?!}} |
||
| − | *(Switch to Nickelodeon Studios Gate) |
||
| + | {{L|Security Guard|Sir, please step away from the gate.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Awe, poopdeck. I was hoping I could ask SpongeBob to phone up some of his famous friends so he could ask them to be guests on my show.}} |
||
| − | *(Speeding car pulls over and drops Patchy off) |
||
| + | {{L|Security Guard|Uh huh. ''[The security guard starts to leave, but then realizes who Patchy is.]'' Oh. You're here for the Casting Department.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Yeah.}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Bye, Mom! Thanks for the lift. (coughs) Hey kids! Isn't this exciting? I'm here at Nickelodeon, home of SpongeBob SquarePants! |
||
| + | {{L|Security Guard|In that case, please step right inside sir.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[Patchy thrusts his arm and mouths the word, "yes". Patchy follows the security guard inside. Inside, Patchy and the security guard walk down a hallway. Patchy jumps up in the air and laughs. He returns to the ground.]''}} |
||
| − | *(Presses intercom button) |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Woo! Oh hey, when'll SpongeBob be here? Whe're's he? At lunch? ''[The Security Guard shakes his head to indicate, "No".]'' At an important meeting?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Security Guard|I'm not sure, sir.}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Ahoy! |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Getting his boat waxed?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Security Guard|''[Pointing ahead]'' This way, sir.}} |
||
| − | *Employee: Studio, may I help you? |
||
| + | {{L|''[The two continue to walk]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|What's he really like?}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: This is Patchy the Pirate for SpongeBob SquarePants. I believe he's expecting me, I sent him over 400 letters. This week. |
||
| + | {{L|Security Guard|''[Pointing ahead]'' This way, sir.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Does he come in everyday?}} |
||
| − | *Employee: Uhhh, yeah. SpongeBob is not here right now, sir. |
||
| + | {{L|Security Guard|''[Pointing ahead]'' This way, sir.}} |
||
| − | |||
| − | + | {{L|Patchy|Does he die his hair?}} |
|
| + | {{L|Security Guard|''[Pointing ahead]'' Walk this way, sir.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Huh?}} |
||
| − | *(Pulls out lawn chair and sits in front of the studios gate) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene shifts to show a room. It has a couch, a TV, a poster for [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]], and an animation cell of SpongeBob at the Krusty Krab. The Security Guard opens the door. Patchy walks in.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Security Guard|Here you are, sir. Please wait here while you wait. ''[Patchy sits down on the couch.]'' Can I get you anything, sir?}} |
||
| − | *(Gate opens) |
||
| + | {{L|Yeah. A shrimp cocktail. ''[Patchy air laughs expecting that the security guard cannot get it. The security guard puts his hand out and then back in with a shrimp cocktail. He gives it to Patchy.]'' Ooh. That's what I call service... ''[The security guard smiles.]'' with a smile.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The security guard leaves. The SpongeBob part of the episode begins with the title card. The episode begins showing the three houses of Conch Street at night. The scene transitions to morning. The scene changes to SpongeBob's room, where Gary's shell shaking with a blanket on top of it. Next to the shell is an traditional alarm clock.]''}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Ohh, SpongeBob! |
||
| + | {{L|Gary|''[In his shell]'' Meow. ''[The alarm clock goes off.]'' Meow. ''[Gary's head pops out of his shell.]'' Meow.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[A long line of alarm clocks go off, which leads from Gary, who is in the front of the bed to SpongeBob's normal alarm clock. It goes off and spits out more alarm clocks. SpongeBob wakes up. SpongeBob gets out of bed and turns the alarm clocks off.]''}} |
||
| − | *Employee: Sir, please step away from the gate. |
||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|Good Morning, Gary!}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Gary|''[Angrily]'' Meow.}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Awww, poopdeck. I was hoping I could ask SpongeBob to phone up some of his famous friends so we could ask them to be guests on my show. |
||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|A little overboard? And take a chance at being late for the single most greatest day of my career. ''[The shot widens and a thought bubble appears. It shows The Krusty Krab.]'' The eleventy-seventh anniversary of the Krusty Krab. ''[SpongeBob leans near Gary and shakes his head.]'' Oh, oh, oh, I think not. ''[He returns to his previous position.]'' No self-respecting Krusty Krab employee would be late on this day.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene changes to show the exterior of SpongeBob's pineapple, where SpongeBob's door open and a line of alarm clocks are leading to the inside of Squidward's house. The scene follows the alarm clocks to Squidward's door and then moves up. Squidward is heard muttering.]''}} |
||
| − | *Employee: Uhhhh. Oh, you're here for the casting department. |
||
| + | {{L|Squidward|''[Off-Screen]'' What the?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to SpongeBob's Room. He is yelling out of his window.]'' See you at the Big Event, Squidward! ''[SpongeBob gets hit with an alarm clock. This causes him to fly and land next to Gary. SpongeBob gets up.]'' Can you believe that its been eleventy-seven years already?}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Yeah! |
||
| + | {{L|Gary|''[Snidely]'' Meow, Meow, Meow.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|Oh, Watch the potty mouth, Gare. Today is a day for gentle reflection. Awe, I remember my first visit to The Krusty Krab.}} |
||
| − | *Employee: In that case, please step right inside, sir. |
||
| + | {{L|''[A flashback begins. It shows the exterior of The Krusty Krab. Harold and Margaret SquarePants are walking to it. The scene shifts to show Harold and Margaret's front.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Harold SquarePants|I don't know. This doesn't seem like a family restaurant.}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Yes! |
||
| + | {{L|Margaret SquarePants|Oh. ''[The scene widens to reveal that she is pregnant with SpongeBob]'' Well, what do you think, baby? Should we eat here? ''[The scene moves to show the inside of Margaret's womb. SpongeBob swims off-screen. The scene returns to show Margaret. She is moves inside to the front of the cash register boat.]'' Well, Okay, then. ''[The scene returns to the womb and SpongeBob is next to Margaret's nelly button which looks like a window. Margaret's voice is echoing.]'' What would you like?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[SpongeBob looks out Maragaret's belly button and sees the Galley Grub]''}} |
||
| − | *(Switch to waiting room) |
||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|Krabby Patty! ''[The scene changes to show Margaret and Harold sitting at a table eating Krabby Patties. In the womb, SpongeBob is eating the Krabby Patties through the umbilical cord.]'' Yummy! ''[He takes the cord, rips it out, and sucks on the cord. The flashback ends and SpongeBob is shown laying on the ground being held up by his elbows.]'' Good times. ''[An alarm clock appears. SpongeBob jumps up and starts running in the air.]'' Oh, sorry, Gary, we can reminisce later. I gotta get ready.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[SpongeBob runs off-screen and Gary hisses at the alarm clock. The alarm clock "runs" away. The scene changes to show SpongeBob with a towel around his waist in the bathroom. He turns on the shower and takes the towel off. The scene shows SpongeBob showering]''}} |
||
| − | *(Employee opens door with Patchy) |
||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|''[Singing voice-over]''|♪ I never thought that I would have a chance like this. What dreams exist as big as this one? ''[SpongeBob turns the water off. SpongeBob grows big. The tub falls to its side and SpongeBob uses his wringer.]'' If happiness are patties frying on a grill, ''[SpongeBob makes a flat SpongeBob that goes through a slot. The scene changes to show a room with SpongeBob's pants on two wires.]'' I'll have my fill upon each fresh bun. ''[The flat SpongeBob lands and folds on top of SpongeBob's pants. He takes his hairdryer and puts it in one of his holes. He blows himself up.]'' Here's a day that couldn't get much better. ''[SpongeBob's legs go through the leg holes.]'' It is the greatest that's ever been. ''[SpongeBob runs into another room with a set of drawers. He opens the top one. It is filled with cans. He takes one. It reads, "Sock."]'' It's so cool, I ought to where a sweater ''[SpongeBob drinks the can.]'' just to hold on to that warm feelin'. ''[Socks start to form one top of SpongeBob's feet.]'' A miracle is something that you don't believe ''[SpongeBob runs into his library were there is a pile of shoes. While running, he picks up two and continues to run.]'' you will receive, and then it happens. ''[SpongeBob ends up in his bathroom. He takes off his face and opens a cabinet of faces where he finds and puts on an exited face.]'' This is what I have to call a miracle. My heart is full and toes are tappin'. ''[The scene moves into SpongeBob's mouth.]'' Here's a day that couldn't get much better. ''[SpongeBob is shown running on a round surface at night. It is revealed that the surface is the bun of a Krabby Patty, which is on a cloud. It moves upwards.]'' It is the greatest that's ever been. ''[The Krabby Patty stops and SpongeBob dives off.]'' It's so cool, I ought to where a sweater just to hold on to that warm feelin'. ''[SPongeBob lands on a patty that is on his grill.] Sure, I know it's gonna take a lot of work, ''[A spatula takes SpongeBob and it is revealed that SpongeBob is putting the patty on the other patty makings.]'' but here's the perk, ''[SpongeBob eats the patty and it falls into a flowery background]'' I think I must say, ''[The Krabby Patty decomposes into its part and the SpongeBob that landed on the patty falls out.]'' when you're doing something that you really love ''[The scene changes to show spatula flying through the air. SpongeBob lands on one. SpongeBob starts dancing.]'' and so proud of, then work is like play. ''[SpongeBob then controls the spatula.]'' Here's a day that couldn't get much better. It is the greatest that's ever been. ''[The spatula flings SpongeBob and he lands on an ice cube in a cup of soda.]''It's so cool, I ought to where a sweater ''[A purple sweater falls on SpongeBob]'' just to hold on to that warm feelin'. ♪}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[SpongeBob melts through the ice cube. He falls into the soda. He gets sucked up by a straw, which is being sucked up by SpongeBob. SpongeBob then jumps away. The scene fades to the Exterior of Nickelodeon Studios. The scene shows. Patchy at a desk. Next to Patchy there is a Rolodex. Patchy is finishing the shrimp cocktail.]''}} |
||
| − | *Employee: Here you are, sir. Please wait here while you wait. |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Security, more shrimp cocktail in Casting, please. Thank you.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[He throws away the end of the last shrimp piece on the tray. A figure that looks like Potty, but with a devil tail and horns appears.]''}} |
||
| − | *(Patchy sits on sofa) |
||
| + | {{L|Devil Potty|Look, Patchy, a Rolodex. Why, it's probably full of celebrity phone numbers. You don't need SpongeBob. You can call them yourself. Go on, have a look. Squawk.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[Patchy leans into it. Another figure that looks like Potty, but this time with a halo and angel wings appears.]''}} |
||
| − | *Employee: Can I get you anything, sir? |
||
| + | {{L|Angel Potty|That's private property, Patchy. If you get caught looking at it, we'll never get to meet SpongeBob.}} |
||
| − | |||
| − | + | {{L|Patchy|Yeah, good point.}} |
|
| + | {{L|Devil Potty|Don't listen to him. You want your TV show to have big-name guests, don't you?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Yeah. No. I mean...}} |
||
| − | *(Employee gets one from outside) |
||
| + | {{L|Devil Potty|Then do it.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Angel Potty|Don't do it, Patchy.}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Oooohhh. Now that's what I call service. |
||
| + | {{L|Devil Potty|Come on. Do it! Do it!}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|I shall. ''[He takes the Rolodex. The Potties leave.]'' Let's see, Dawson, Richard. Rosario. Rosario Dawson! She'll bring a little class to the show.}} |
||
| − | *(Employee smiles) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene changes to show Rosario Dawson in her home looking at a magazine. She gets a phone call.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Rosario Dawson|Hello?}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: With a smile! |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy. He has bad breath that is showing.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Uh, hello, Rosario.}} |
||
| − | *(Employee closes door revealing title card: Truth or Square) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Rosario. Patchy's breath has gone through the phone.]''}} |
||
| − | * |
||
| + | {{L|Rosario Dawson|Oh, Goodness.}} |
||
| − | ==SpongeBob== |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|It's Patchy the Pirate, president of the SpongeBob}} |
||
| − | *(SpongeBob's, Patrick's and Squidward's house) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Rosario. She is holding her nose.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|''[through the phone.] Fan Club. I'm throwing a little TV}} |
||
| − | *(Gary sleeping until alarm clock starts ringing cause a domino effect of a line of clocks) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|show-tacular, and I need a little celebrity wind in my sail, so to speak.}} |
||
| − | *(Line reaches to SpongeBob's fog horn clock makes it spew out more alarm clocks) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Rosario.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Rosario Dawson|Okay. You need a little mouthwash is what you need.}} |
||
| − | *(SpongeBob turns off all the clocks) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|I was wondering if you'd like to be my special guest.}} |
||
| − | *SpongeBob: Goooooooooood morning, Gary! |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Rosario. She groans.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Rosario Dawson|Are you going to be in the same city?}} |
||
| − | *(Gary meows annoyed) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Of course, silly. We'll be working closely together all day.}} |
||
| − | *SpongeBob: A little overboard? And take a chance of being late for single greatest day of my career? The eleventy-seventh anniversary of the Krusty Krab? I think not.No self-respecting employee would be late on this day. |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Rosario. She hangs up. She groans. The scene returns to Patchy. Patchy groans. He hangs up the phone.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Well, back to the old Rolodex. Uh, Bo Derek. Bo Diddly. Eddie Deezen. Eddie Deezen?}} |
||
| − | *(Alarm clocks lead into Squidward's house) |
||
| + | {{L|''[Eddie Deezen walks into the room.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Eddie Deezen|Hey, when do we film?}} |
||
| − | *Squidward: What the? |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene shows Patchy confused. The scene returns to the door. The security guard comes in.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Security Guard|This way, sir.}} |
||
| − | *SpongeBob: See you at the big event, Squidward! |
||
| + | {{L|''[The security guard takes Eddie Deezen out of the room. Patchy sighs.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Ooh. This will be good.}} |
||
| − | *(Alarm hits him in the back) |
||
| + | {{L|''[Patchy picks up the phone. The scene changes to show the house of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. The scene shows him with another dog near the pool. He answers the phone]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog|Yes?}} |
||
| − | *SpongeBob (to Gary): Can you believe it's been eleventy-seven years already? |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Ahoy, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.}} |
||
| − | *Gary: (meows annoyed) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Triumph|I'm Busy. Hurry up.}} |
||
| − | *SpongeBob: Huh? Watch the pottymouth, Gar. Today is a day of gentle reflection. (sighs) I remember my first visit to the Krusty Krab. |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|This is Patchy the Pirate.}} |
||
| − | *(flashback) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Triumph|Oh. Don't give me that Patchy stuff. Come on, Depp, I know it's you. Drop the pirate thing.}} |
||
| − | *(Mr. and Mrs. SquarePants walk to the Krusty Krab) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|You know, I do get that a lot, but seriously, it's not Johnny Depp.}} |
||
| − | *Mr. SquarePants: I don't know. This doesn't look like a family restaurant. |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Triumph|Come on. Who is this? The pirate from the cereal box or the litter box.}} |
||
| − | *Mrs. SquarePants: Well what do you think, baby? Would you like to eat here? |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|The one from Encino. It's Patchy, president of the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club.}} |
||
| − | *(Baby SpongeBob pushes his mom into the Krusty Krab) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Triumph|Oh, the president. Well, your mother must be so proud.}} |
||
| − | *Mrs. SquarePants: Well ok then. What would you like? |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy. He looks disgusted.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]''}} |
||
| − | *(Baby SpongeBob looks out her bellybutton and sees the menu) |
||
| + | {{L|Triumph|Listen, Scratchy.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *Baby SpongeBob: Krabby Patty! |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|It's Patchy}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]''}} |
||
| − | *(Mr. and Mrs. SquarePants eat their krabby patties) |
||
| + | {{L|Triumph|You know, Catchy, maybe you should consider wearing two eye patches. That way, you won't be able to see what's become of your life.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *Baby SpongeBob: Mmmmmmmmmmmmm! Yummy! |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|What?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]''}} |
||
| − | *(Pulls umbilical cord off and sucks on it.) |
||
| + | {{L|Triumph|So, what are you tell me, what are you selling, besides your dignity and self-respect?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *(Flashback ends) |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|None of the above. I was wondering if you'd like to be a guest on the big TV special. That I am throwing for SpongeBob.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]''}} |
||
| − | *SpongeBob: Good times. |
||
| + | {{L|Triumph|Sorry, Poop-Leg Pete. I'm a big star. I don't do basic cable. I'm on a major network. Kind of.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *(Alarm clock goes off) |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|It would sure mean a lot to be personally if you'd be on my show, Triumph.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]''}} |
||
| − | *SpongeBob: Oh, sorry Gary. We could talk later, but I got to get ready! |
||
| + | {{L|Triumph|Oh, it would mean a lot. Well, why didn't you say so? That changes everything.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *(SpongeBob runs while Gary hisses at alarm clock) |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Oh.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]''}} |
||
| − | *SpongeBob: (SONG) I never thought that I would have a chance like this. What dreams exist as big as this one? If happiness are patties frying on the grill, I'll have my fill upon each fresh bun. Here's a day that couldn't get much better. It is the greatest that's ever been. It's so cool I ought'a wear a sweater, just to hold on to that warm feelin'. A miracle is something that you don't believe, you will receive, and then it happens. This is what I have to call a miracle: My heart is full and toes are tappin', here's a day that couldn't get much better. It is the greatest that's ever been. It's so cool I ought'a wear a sweater, just to hold on to that warm feelin'. Sure, I know it's gonna take a lot of work. But here's the perk, I think I must say: When you're doing something that you really love, and so proud of, then work is like play. Here's a day that couldn't get much better, It is the greatest that's ever been. It's so cool I ought'a wear a sweater, just to hold on to that warm feelin'. |
||
| + | {{L|Triumph|You know, I'd love to be on your show. I'd love it as much as I love pulling ticks off my butt.}} |
||
| − | * |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | ==Patchy== |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Well, fine. Who needs you, you filthy mongrel?}} |
||
| − | *(Back at Nicktoons Studios...) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Triumph|Okay, Captain Loser. Send me a script.}} |
||
| − | *(Patchy sits in a office) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Great! So, you'll be on my show?}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Security, more shrimp cocktail for casting please, thank you. |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Triumph|Sure, of course. I'm sure that it's a great script. Three, two, one. For me to poop on!}} |
||
| − | *(Devil Potty appears) |
||
| + | {{L|''[Triumph hangs up the phone. The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Oh, yeah, well, I'll have you know, you are not the biggest star to tell me that. Hello? Hello?}} |
||
| − | *DP: Look Patchy, a rolling address book. Why it's probably full of celebrity phone numbers. You don't need SpongeBob, you can call them yourself. Go on. Have a look. |
||
| + | {{L|''[Patchy groans and hangs up the phone. The scene changes to show the exterior of SpongeBob's pineapple. He opens the door and starts to jog to the Krusty Krab. A crash is heard off-screen. The scene moves to the origin of the crash. SpongeBob is laying down behind a line of fish.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Harold|Hey, hey. Chill out, buddy. We all want to get into the Krusty Krab as much as you do.}} |
||
| − | *(Patchy is about to touch it until Angel Potty appears) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene shows that the line goes all of the way to the Krusty Krab. The scene returns to SpongeBob. He looks at his watch.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|But I don't have time to wait in line. Sorry, but I can't be late today.}} |
||
| − | *AP: That's private property, Patchy. |
||
| + | {{L|''[SpongeBob steps on people's head's to get to The Krusty Krab.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Harold|Oh!}} |
||
| − | *DP: Don't listen to him. Don't you want your TV show to have big name guest stars? |
||
| + | {{L|Mable-Monica|Ah!}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Isabelle Fish|Ooh!}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Yeah. |
||
| + | {{L|Sadie|What the?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Frankie Billy|Hey!}} |
||
| − | *DP: Then do it! |
||
| + | {{L|Fred|Ah!}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Tom|Eh!}} |
||
| − | *AP: Don't do it, Patchy! |
||
| + | {{L|Shubie|Uh!}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|Sorry, everybody, but Mr. Krabs needs me. ''[More fish make annoyed noises. Once SpongeBob reaches the end, the scene changes to the interior of The Krusty Krab. The scene shows several fish waiting on the door. SpongeBob Squeezes himself through the cracked between the doors and the ground. He enters The Krusty Krab. He lands in the arms of Mr. Krabs.]'' Reporting for duty, sir.}} |
||
| − | *DP: Come on, do it! Do it! |
||
| + | {{L|''[SpongeBob solutes Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs puts SpongeBob down in a seat next to Squidward.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Take a seat, boy.}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: I shall. |
||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|Happy eleventy-seventh, Squidward.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[Walking past the table]'' Today's a big a day for The Krusty Krab. ''[Mr, Krabs ends up at a button.]'' So I want yous to listen up. ''[He pushes the button. It causes a shield to go around The Krusty Krab.]'' It's a perfect opportunity for Plankton to try and steal the Krabby Patty formuler.}} |
||
| − | *(Both disappear as he grabs it with his hook) |
||
| + | {{L|''[Mr. Krabs pulls a lever that looks like a handle on a table. It causes a panel to open. The table goes down the panel and is replaced by a hologram table. It turns on a hologram of the Krusty Krab.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Isn't that just The Krusty Krab?}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: (mumbles) Rosario Dawson! |
||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|No. It's a holographic projection of The Krusty Krab. I want you two to watch all the entrances.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Squidward|You mean the front door ''and'' the back door?}} |
||
| − | *(Switch to her reading a book until her phone rings) |
||
| + | {{L|''[Mr. Krabs pushes a button on the hologram table.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Those are just the ones on the surface. ''[The hologram expands to show the duct work.]'' There is an entire network of tunnels and air ducts underground and I want all eyes on the look out!}} |
||
| − | *Rosario: Hello? |
||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[Eyes grow on SpongeBob, filling his holes.]''}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Hello, Rosario. (in bad breath) |
||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Right. Study the map, stay extra vigilant. Don't fall asleep on the job. That means you, Squidward.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Squidward|What? I have never fallen asleep on duty.}} |
||
| − | *Rosario: (smells Patchy's bad breath) Aw, goodness. |
||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Don't make me have a flashback.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[A flashback begins. It shows Squidward sleeping at his station. Fred is on the other side of the Cash register. The scene changes to show SpongeBob opening The Krusty Krab broom closet to find Squidward sleeping. The scene changes to show a close shot of Frankie Billy about to eat a patty at The Krusty Krab. The shot widens to show Squidward sleeping on Frankie Billy's table. It also reveals that Frankie Billy is dining with Nancy. The scene changes to show a close shot of the sink in The Krusty Krab kitchen. Bubbles are coming out of the sink and Squidward's snoring is heard. The shot widens to show Squidward with his head in the sink. The scene changes to show SpongeBob on a Krusty Krab stall and reading a newspaper. Squidward's snores are heard. SpongeBob looks into the stall next to his and sees Squidward holding a newspaper and sleeping. The flashback ends.]''}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: It's Patchy the Pirate, president of the SpongeBob fan club. |
||
| + | {{L|Squidward|All right, point taken.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[Mr. Krabs turns off the hologram.]''}} |
||
| − | *Rosario: (plugs her nose) |
||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|And to help watch out for Plankton, I've hired some ''extra'' security.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[A dark figure is shown in the corner. He walks into the light. It is revealed to be Patrick. He has an angry look on his face. He smacks his fist into his palm.]''}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: I'm throwing a TV Show-tecular and I need a celebrity in a sail, so to speak. |
||
| + | {{L|Squidward|''[While Patrick is walking to them]'' You hired Patrick?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|What, you expect me to spend money on a real security guard? You are my first line of defense, Patrick. So, look out for any suspiciorous characters.}} |
||
| − | *Rosario: Ok, you need is some mouthwash, that's what you need. |
||
| + | {{L|Patrick|''[No longer having an angry face. Saluting.]'' Yes, sir. ''[Patrick surveys the area. He sees Squidward and pushes him to the wall]'' Who are you? And Who are you working for?!}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[Mr. Krabs chuckles]''}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: I was wondering if you wanted to be my special guest. |
||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Plankton doesn't stand a chance.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene changes to show the exterior of the Chum Bucket. It has a banner on it that reads, "Celebrating 50 years of failure." The scene pans in. As it pans in, the doors open and an image of the dining area is shown and it pans into that. The scene fades to a wide shot of the lab. Karen is show in her computer form and Plankton is show at his desk.]''}} |
||
| − | *(Rosario hangs up) |
||
| + | {{L|Plankton|''[As it is still panning in]'' It's a conspiracy, I tell you! A thousand and three times I've almost had that recipe, and a thousand and three times I've been launched by that Krabs! He celebrates eleventy-seven years of success, ''[The scene changes to show a medium shot of Plankton at his desk.]'' I'm left with four score and forty fortnights of failure! ''[The scene changes to show a closer shot of Plankton. He tears up.]'' I give up, Karen. Krabs has won!}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Karen|''[Off-Screen]'' Well, you'll never get the formula with that attitude. ''[On-Screen]'' Maybe a thousand and four will be your lucky number.}} |
||
| − | *(Patchy get a dial tone and hangs up) |
||
| + | {{L|Plankton|Oh, yeah? You try getting launched.}} |
||
| − | * |
||
| + | {{L|Karen|Oh, right, the launchings. ''[Her face is replace by a loading bar and the word "accessing" above it.]'' I've got them all on my hard drive.}} |
||
| − | ==SpongeBob== |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene shows, on Karen's monitor, Mr. Krabs in a baseball uniform, exiting the Krusty Krab. The scene shifts to show just the scene. Mr. Krabs pushes Plankton into the air. Mr. Krabs does this with a glove that he is wearing. Mr. Krabs spits and then throws Plankton. Plankton hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs' claw putting down a golf tee. He puts Plankton on the tee. He is then shown in a golf outfit, holding a golf club. He then prepares to hit Plankton.]''}} |
||
| − | *(SpongeBob starts running to work) |
||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Fore!}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[Mr. Krabs hits Plankton. Plankton hits the Chum Bucket.]''}} |
||
| − | *(crashes into a line-up) |
||
| + | {{L|Plankton|Ow!}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs riding on a seahorse, wearing a polo uniform, and holding a polo stick. Plankton is shown running. away from the polo stick. Mr. Krabs hits Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs holding a slingshot with Plankton on it. Mr. Krabs is holding the slingshot back. Mr. Krabs releases the slingshot. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs in a hockey uniform holding a hockey stick. He is pushing Plankton on some ice that is outside of the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs hits Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs with a Curling stone that has Plankton on it. Mr. Krabs pushes the the Curling stone on the ice. SpongeBob takes a broom and sweeps and walks backwards until he reaches the Chum Bucket. Plankton screams until he hits the Chum Bucket doors. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob in football uniforms. SpongeBob is holding Plankton horizontally in front of Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs runs up and kicks Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. There is a goal post painted on the Chum Bucket. SpongeBob pops and puts both his arms horizontally in the air, signally that Mr. Krabs got the point. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs holding Plankton, walking outside the Krusty Krab.]''}} |
||
| − | *Random Fish: Hey, hey! Chill out, buddy! We all want to get in to the Krusty Krab as you do. |
||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|I'm tired today, Plankton. ''[He drops Plankton.]'' You're just gonna have to launch yourself.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[Mr. Krabs walks back inside. Plankton tears up. He walks to the Chum Bucket and hits his head on the door.]''}} |
||
| − | *(SpongeBob looks at how far the line is) |
||
| + | {{L|Plankton|Splat.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[Plankton begins to cry. Karen's laughing is heard. The scene pans out to show the scene on Karen's monitor. The scene shifts to not-recording Plankton.]''}} |
||
| − | *SpongeBob: But, I don't have time to get in line. Sorry, but I can't be late today. |
||
| + | {{L|Plankton|Karen?!}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The footage is removed and replaced with Karen]''}} |
||
| − | *(Starts jumping on the people in the line-up) |
||
| + | {{L|Karen|I'm sorry. That last part always makes me laugh.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[Plankton jumps off his desk.]''}} |
||
| − | *People: Hey! |
||
| + | {{L|Plankton|It's just no use!}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Karen|''[Off-Screen]'' Today's the ''[On-Screen]'' perfect day to steal the recipe. Krabs will be completely distracted by all the festivities. You can do this.}} |
||
| − | *SpongeBob: Sorry, everyone. But Mr. Krabs needs me. |
||
| + | {{L|Plankton|You really think so?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Karen|Of course, I do. Now who's my big man?}} |
||
| − | *(keeps jumping until he is at the Krusty Krab then slides under the doors and jumps into Mr. Krabs' arms) |
||
| + | {{L|Plankton|Oh, Karen.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Karen|Come on. Come on. Who's my big strong man?}} |
||
| − | *SpongeBob: Reporting for duty, sir. |
||
| + | {{L|Plankton|I am.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Karen|That's right. Now get out there and steal that recipe.}} |
||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Sit down, boys. |
||
| + | {{L|Plankton|''[Saluting Karen]'' Yes, Ma'am!}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Nickelodeon Studios where Patchy is flipping through the Rolodex. Patchy is then shown holding the phone.]''}} |
||
| − | *SpongeBob: Happy eleventy seventh, Squidward! |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Hey, LeBron, how's the Dribbling?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene shows LeBron James at his house.]''}} |
||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Today is a big day for the Krusty Krab, so I want you to listen up. |
||
| + | {{L|LeBron James|Hey, Patchy, What's up?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *(presses red button which activates lockout, all windows get shielded by metal which gets Squidward's attention) |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|How would you, LeBron James, like to be a guest on the fan clubmongorical special for SpongeBob?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to LeBron James.]''}} |
||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: It's the perfect opportunity for Plankton to try to steal the Krabby Patty formula. |
||
| + | {{L|LeBron James|I Love SpongeBob, man, but I can't, man. I've got a game today, man.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *(Pulls on a table which brings up a holographic projector and projects a picture of the Krusty Krab) |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Oh, Come on! The season's hardly even started yet.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to LeBron James.]''}} |
||
| − | *Squidward: Isn't that just a picture of the Krusty Krab? |
||
| + | {{L|LeBron James|Huh?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: No. It's a holographic projection of the Krusty Krab. I want you two to watch all the entrances. |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Oh, they won't care if you miss one game, will they?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to LeBron James.]''}} |
||
| − | *Squidward: You mean the front and the back door? |
||
| + | {{L|LeBron James|I have a contract. I have to go.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: And those are just the ones on the surface. |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Oh, contract ''[The scene returns to LeBron James.]'' schmontract. ''[The scene returns to Patchy.]'' We have party gifts.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to LeBron James.]''}} |
||
| − | *(pushes button to show tunnels under the Krusty Krab) |
||
| + | {{L|LeBron James|Dude, I gotta go.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[LeBron James hangs up on Patchy. The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: There's an entire network of tunnels and air ducts underground. And I want all eyes on the little one. |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Oh! ''[Patchy grunts and hangs up the phone.]'' This casting business is harder than 40 years of barnacle buildup. ''[Patchy Grunts. He is shown going through the Rolodex.]'' Okay, time to get serious.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene changes to show Tina Fey in an office. The phone rings. She answers it.]''}} |
||
| − | *SpongeBob: Eye, eye Mr. Krabs. (lots of eyes start appearing on SpongeBob) |
||
| + | {{L|Tina Fey|Hello.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Right. Study this map. Stay extra careful. Don't fall asleep on the job! That means you Squidward. |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Ahoy, Tina.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Tina Fey.]''}} |
||
| − | *Squidward: What? I have never fallen asleep on duty! |
||
| + | {{L|Tina Fey|Who is this?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Don't make me have a flashback. |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Patchy... the pirate.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Tina Fey.]''}} |
||
| − | *(Flashback starts, clips of Squidward sleeping, flashback ends) |
||
| + | {{L|Tina Fey|Oh, I don't know any pirates anymore. Are you sure you have the right number?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *Squidward: Alright, point taken. |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Hey, listen, us bad soul sistas have to stick ''[The scene returns to Tina Fey.]'' together, huh?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Tina Fey|Sure.}} |
||
| − | *(Mr. Krabs turns off projector) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Great, 'cause I'm throwing a huge telestravaganza for SpongeBob SquarePants and I'd love it if you'd come down and sing a song for us.}} |
||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: And to help watch out for Plankton, I've hired some extra security. |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Tina Fey.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Tina Fey|I'm not much for singing, but I love SpongeBob. Who else is going to be performing?}} |
||
| − | *(Patrick comes and does a fist clap) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy. He chuckles.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Aren't you the modest one? Well, SpongeBob, for one, will be on the show.}} |
||
| − | *Squidward: You hired Patrick? |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Tina Fey.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Tina Fey|Oh, Tom Kenny, the voice of SpongeBob?}} |
||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: What? You expect me to spend money on a real security guard? You're my first line of defense, Patrick. So look out for any suspicious character. |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Who?}} |
||
| − | *Patrick: Yes, sir. |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Tina Fey.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Tina Fey|Well, you said SpongeBob is going to be on the show.}} |
||
| − | *(Looks and pushes Squidward against the wall) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|That's right. The little sponge is the guest on honor.}} |
||
| − | *Patrick: Who are you and who are you working for? |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Tina Fey.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Tina Fey|But, he's a cartoon, so you mean the guy who does the voice, right?}} |
||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Plankton doesn't have a chance! |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Listen, Miss Turner, you let me handle the guests. You stick to your singing and dancing.}} |
||
| − | *(Bubble animation switches to the Chum Bucket) |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Tina Fey.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Tina Fey|Mrs. Turner? Oh, no, this isn't Tina Turner. This is Tina Fey.}} |
||
| − | *Plankton: It's a conspiracy, I tell ya! 1003 times I've almost had that recipe and 1003 times I've been launched by that Krabs! He celebrates eleventy-seven years of success and I'm left with 4 score and 44 nights of failure! I give up, Karen. Krabs has won! |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy. He chuckles.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Who?}} |
||
| − | *Karen: Well, you'll never get the formula with that attitude. Maybe 1004 will be your lucky number. |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Tina Fey. She hangs up on Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *Plankton: Oh, you try getting launched! |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Hello? Hello, Tina? You'd better be good to me.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|''[The scene shows Patchy going through the Rolodex. The scene changes to show Will Ferrell stretching in public. He gets a call on his phone and answers it.]''}} |
||
| − | *Karen: Alright, the launchings. I've got them all on my harddrive. |
||
| + | {{L|Will Ferrell|Yeah, who's calling me?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *(Clips of Mr. Krabs launching Plankton in various ways, Karen giggles) |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Hey, Will, it's Patchy the pirate, ''[The scene returns to Will Ferrell.]'' president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club ''[The scene returns to Patchy.]'' in Encino, and I'm throwing a little TV special for him.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Will Ferrell.]''}} |
||
| − | *Plankton: Karen! |
||
| + | {{L|Will Ferrell|Oh, really? Well, I'm president of the SpongeBob Fan Club, Tarzana chapter, and I'm throwing a TV show, too, ''[The scene returns to Patchy.]'' so get in line.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Patchy|What?! You can't do that!}} |
||
| − | *Karen: I'm sorry! That last part always makes me laugh! |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Will Ferrell.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Will Ferrell|Can't I? Well, guess what. I'm doing it. You'd better wrap your mind around it because guess what. ''[The scene returns to Patchy.]'' My show's also gonna be a lot better.}} |
||
| − | *Plankton: It's just no use! |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Doubt it. Who are your guests?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Will Ferrell.]''}} |
||
| − | *Karen: Today is the perfect day to steal the recipe! Krabs will be completely distracted by all the festivities! You can do this! |
||
| + | {{L|Will Ferrell|You name it, we've go it: Hollywood stars, musical people, singers, jugglers, a guy who does things with knifes. ''[The scene returns to Patchy.]'' Do you have that, ''[The scene returns to Will Ferrell.]'' huh? Who do you have?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy.]''}} |
||
| − | *Plankton: You really think so? |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Hang on to your hat. Sir Quentin and Mr. Tinder. Ever heard of 'em?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Will Ferrell.]''}} |
||
| − | *Karen: Of course, I do! Now, who's my big man? |
||
| + | {{L|Will Ferrell|What?! The world's fifth best ventriloquist and his wooden sidekick?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Patchy. He laughs]''}} |
||
| − | *Plankton: Awwww, Karen! |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|Of course, silly.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene returns to Will Ferrell.]''}} |
||
| − | *Karen: Come on, come on! Who's my big strong man? |
||
| + | {{L|Will Ferrell|No way! ''[He frustratingly grunts. The scene returns to Patchy.]'' No! ''[The scene returns to Will Ferrell.]'' Okay, you win this time, but just you wait for the 20th. 'Cause I will come at you harder and faster.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[Will Ferrell ends the call. The scene returns to Patchy the pirate.]''}} |
||
| − | *Plankton: (sighs) I am. (giggles) |
||
| + | {{L|Patchy|''[As he's hanging the phone up]'' 20th anniversary...}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene changes to show fish outside of the Krusty Krab.]''}} |
||
| − | *Karen: That's right, now get out there and steal that recipe! |
||
| + | {{L|Crowd|We want Krabby patties! We want Krabby patties!}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[The scene changes to show a close up shot of the numbers on the [[Galley Grub]] menu.]''}} |
||
| − | *Plankton: Yes, Ma'am! |
||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[Off-Screen]'' Now to add some special anniversary deals to the menu. ''[Mr. Krabs' claw holding a pencil appears and he starts adding decimal points after the first zero in the prices and adding an extra zero at the end of the prices as he talks.]'' Krabby Patty... 20 bucks. 39 bucks. 30. ''[He chuckles. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs on a ladder next to the Galley Grub.]'' Oh, number zero, how I love you so. ''[Squidward walks into frame and Mr. Krabs starts to walk down the ladder.]'' SpongeBob!}} |
||
| − | * |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene shifts to show a similar scene as before, but with the frame moved down. SpongeBob runs into the frame.]''}} |
||
| − | ==Patchy== |
||
| + | {{L|Y-Yes, Sir?}} |
||
| − | *(Patchy flips through address book) |
||
| + | {{L|''[Mr. Krabs finishes climbing down the ladder.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|I'm putting you in charge of decorations.}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Hey, LeBron! How's the dribbling? |
||
| + | {{L|''[Mr. Krabs scribbles something on his clipboard.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|Oh, but Mr. Krabs.}} |
||
| − | *LeBron James: Hey, Patchy! What's up? |
||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Yes, boy?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|I thought you said that I was going to be in charge of decorations.}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: How would you, LeBron James, like to be a guest on the fan club special for SpongeBob? |
||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|What? But you are.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|I am? ''[SpongeBob flings his arms in the air]'' Yay! ''[SpongeBob runs around with his arms in the air.]'' Yeah! Yeah!}} |
||
| − | *LeBron: I love SpongeBob, but I can't. I gotta game today. Sorry. |
||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Squidward! I had chores for you, but you won't do 'em anyway.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Squidward|It only took you eleventy-seven years for you to figure that out?}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Oh, come on! The season hardly even started yet! |
||
| + | {{L|''[The scene shows SpongeBob next to Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs takes out two quarters.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Here's your budget, boy. ''[He gives SpongeBob the quarters.]'' Decorate it any way you want.}} |
||
| − | *LeBron: Huh? |
||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|Wow! Fifty cents!}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Squidward|Your letting SpongeBob decorate? Remember all the other times SpongeBob decorated?}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Oh, they won't care if you miss one game; will they? |
||
| + | {{L|Squidward, SpongeBob, and Mr. Krabs|Hmm...}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[A flashback begins. It shows The interior of the Krusty Krab with a western theme. Frankie Billy and Evelyn are shown at a table. On the table is the bone of a cow head. The floor looks like the a desert. It has rocks and cacti on it. The lights have been replaced by a western-style chandelier. The metal wall has been replaced with a gray wood one. The doors have been replaced by saloon doors. The scene pans to show Squidward in the order boat. The boat has wagon wheel next to it. The order window looks like an old style window with red shutters. SpongeBob pops his head out of the window. He is wearing a cowboy hat and holding a tray of food.]''}} |
||
| − | *LeBron: I got a contract, man. I have to go. |
||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|Yee-haw!}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[SpongeBob laughs. The scene changes to show the interior of the Krusty Krab with a 1970s theme. Frankie Billy and Evelyn are shown at a table. On the table is a lava lamp. The floor is a rug. The window has green wallpaper with a pattern on it. The metal wall has orange and red striped wall paper on it. The lights have been replaced by a disco ball. The boxes that are in the rafters have been pained with a blue pattern. The doors have been replaced by bead entrances. The scene pans to show Squidward in the order boat. The boat has carpet material around it. The order window has been painted to have a blue and red pattern. SpongeBob pops his head out of the window. He is wearing an Afro wig and holding a tray of food.}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Oh, contract; smontract. We got parting gifts! |
||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|Do you come here often?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[SpongeBob laughs. The scene changes to show the interior of the Krusty Krab with a space theme. Frankie Billy and Evelyn are shown at a table. They are wearing space helmets. The tables have been replaced and the barrels have been replaced with moon craters which goes along with the moon floor. The window has space wallpaper on it. The lights have been replaced by images of Mars, a moon, and Saturn. The doors have been replaced by doors that have two sides and jagged edges and open up, instead of go outward. The scene pans to show Squidward in the order boat. The order boat looks similar to a moon rover. The metal wall has stars and a meteor. The order window looks similar to the doors. Squidward is wearing a space helmet. The order window opens and things and Squidward go through it. The scene then shows Squidward in space. He is screaming. He passes SpongeBob who is wearing his water helmet. He is cooking on his grill. He laughs. The flashback ends.}} |
||
| − | *LeBron: Dude, I got to go. (hangs up) |
||
| + | {{L|Squidward, SpongeBob, and Mr. Krabs|Hmm...}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|''[Mr. Krabs turns to Squidward.]''}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: This casting business is harder than 40 years of barnacle build-up! |
||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, you want want to do it, then?}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Squidward|No.}} |
||
| − | *(Begins flipping through the address book again) |
||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Then shut your porthole.}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Squidward|Battening down the word hatches, sir.}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Ok, time to get serious. |
||
| + | {{L|''[Squidward and Mr. Krabs walk away. SpongeBob looks at the two quarters. He smiles. He flies up into the air. The scene changes to show the inside of the bathroom. SpongeBob prances into the bathroom. He goes into a stall, takes out a pair of tongs and grabs the end of a pink toilet paper roll. The scene changes to the exterior of the bathroom. Squidward is walking by. SpongeBob runs out of the bathroom holding on to the tongs which are holding on to the toilet paper. Squidward stops. SpongeBob takes a piece of the toilet paper, twirls it around, and throws it up and swings on it. He swings around a pole, making the toilet paper look like a swirl on the pole. He lands on a table. The table spins around and ends up with bows on it. SpongeBob jumps in the air and lands between Patrick and Squidward. He twists the toilet paper around Patrick making him look buff with a bow belt. SpongeBob twirls the toilet paper in the air and twists it around Squidward's head. He ends up with two bows on his head, which are connected to his mouth.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Squidward|What? What are you...?}} |
||
| − | *(Tina Fey picks up the phone in her office) |
||
| + | {{L|''[SpongeBob pulls on one of the strings that is attached to the bow. It makes Squidward smile.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|There we go.}} |
||
| − | *Tina: Hello? |
||
| + | {{L|''[SpongeBob runs off twirling the toilet paper. He runs across the top and bottom of the main windows, giving them bows. He twirls the toilet paper and dances. The scene changes to show SpongeBob in the kitchen. He is stepping on a ketchup bottle and a mustard bottle. The scene shifts to show the back of SpongeBob. Above him, there is a banner that is written in ketchup and mustard. It reads, "Eleventy-Seventh Anniversary". The scene changes to show SpongeBob squeezing a mustard bottle. He is then show squeezing a mustard bottle. Part of either the bathroom or kitchen door is shown. It shows the mustard and the ketchup crossing over to look similar to a strand of DNA. The scene changes to show mustard going on a wall in a wave pattern. The scene changes to show a table. SpongeBob puts a design on the table. SpongeBob is then shown tip-toeing sideways while holding a bottle of mustard and ketchup. He then spins it around. The scene changes to show a Krabby patty. SpongeBob puts a hose in the Krabby patty. SpongeBob is then shown pushing a pressure handle. It inflates the Krabby patty. The scene then shows Krabby patties that are attached to string. They are on the ceiling. The last patty floats up. The scene pans out to show the decorated Krusty Krab. The banner is now in the dining area and the order boat has bows on it. The kitchen door is shown. He walks out. SpongeBob floats down to him on a Krabby patty balloon. SpongeBob releases it and it floats away.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|SpongeBob|Your change, sir.}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Ahoy, Tina! |
||
| + | {{L|''[SpongeBob gives Mr. Krabs the 2 quarters.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Good work, boy. What, that's it?}} |
||
| − | *Tina: Who is this? |
||
| + | {{L|''[SpongeBob walks away. Mr. Krabs takes out his clipboard.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Decorations, check. Security?}} |
||
| − | *Patchy: Patchy. The Pirate! |
||
| + | {{L|''[Patrick is shown standing outside the bathroom. Squidward leaves the bathroom. Patrick sees Squidward and pushes him to the wall. The scene returns to Mr. Krabs.]''}} |
||
| − | |||
| + | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Check.}} |
||
| − | *Tina: I don't know any pirates anymore. Are you sure you have the right number? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Listen, us bad soul sisters gotta stick together, eh? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Tina: Sure? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Great! Cause I'm throwing a huge extravaganza for SpongeBob SquarePants! And I'd love it if you would come down and sing a song for us! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Tina: Well, I'm not much of a singer but I love SpongeBob! Who else is going to be performing? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Well, SpongeBob for one will be on the show. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Tina: Oh, Tom Kenny, the voice of SpongeBob? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Who? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Tina: Well, you said SpongeBob was going to be on the show. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: That's right! The little sponge is our guest of honor! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Tina: But he's a cartoon, so you mean the guy that does the voice, right? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Listen, Ms. Turner. Let me handle the guests. You stick to your singing and dancing. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Tina: Ms. Turner? This isn't Tina Turner, this is Tina Fey. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Who? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Tina hangs up) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Hello, hello? Hello, Tina? You better be good to me! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(flips through address book again, Will Ferrell is exercising until his cell phone rings) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Will: Yeah, who's calling me? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Hey, Will! It's Patchy the Pirate, president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club in Encino and I'm throwing a little TV special for him. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Will: Oh, really? Cause I'm president of the SpongeBob fan club Tarzana chapter and I'm throwing a TV show too, now get lost! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: What? You can't do that! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Will: Can I? And guess when I'm doing it. I'm gonna wrap your mind around it cause guess what? My show gonna be a lot better. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Doubt it. Who are your guests? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Will: You name it, we've got it. Hollywood stars, musical people, singers, jugglers, a guy who does things with knifes. Do you have that? Who do you have? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Hang on to your hat. Sir Quatin and Mr. Tinder. Ever heard of that? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Will: What? The world's fifth best ventriloquist and his wooden sidekick? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Of course, silly. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Will: No way! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Patchy laughs) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Will: Ok, you win this time. But you just wait for the 20th, cause I will come at you, harder and faster. (Will hangs up) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: (mumbles) 20th anniversary. Whatever. |
||
| − | * |
||
| − | ==SpongeBob== |
||
| − | *(Crowd gathers by the Krusty Krab shouting: " We want Krabby Patties!") |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Now to add some special anniversary deals to the menu! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Adds 0 onto the prices) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty; $20.00 bucks. 39 bucks. 30. (laughs) Oh, number zero. How I love you so. SpongeBob! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(SpongeBob runs in) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Yes, sir? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: I'm putting you in charge of decorations. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: (sighs) But Mr. Krabs! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Yes, boy? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: I thought you said I'd be in charge of decorations! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: What? But you are! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: I am? Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Uhh, I had chores for you but you won't do them anyway. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: It only took you eleventy-seven years to figure that out. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Mr. Krabs pulls out quarters) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Here's your budget, boy. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Gives SpongeBob 50 cents) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Decorate it anyway you want. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Wow. 50 cents! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: You're letting SpongeBob decorate? Remember all the other times SpongeBob decorated? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Squidward, SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs "hmmmmmmmmmmm" as flashbacks begin shows Krusty Krab in western theme) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob from kitchen: Yeeeehaw! (laughs) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Shows Krusty Krab in 70's disco theme) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob from kitchen: Do you come here often? (laughs) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Shows Krusty Krab in space theme, kitchen windows suck everything into space. Squidward screams while SpongeBob grills patties in space and laughs.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Flashbacks ends) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: (to Squidward) You want to it then? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: No. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Then shut your porthole. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: Batten down the word hatches, sir. (Walks away) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(SpongeBob smiles as he begins decorating. Runs in bathroom as he uses pink toilet paper as streamers. Wraps pillars and ribbons tables with it. Bow ties Patrick and Squidward. Also ribbons windows edges with toilet paper. Uses ketchup and mustard for words on banner. Also uses it for decorating doorways and table tops. Uses air pump to inflate Krabby Patties for balloons on the ceiling and tables. Floats down to Mr. Krabs and hands back 50 cents.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Your change, sir. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Good work, boy. What, that's it? Decorations, check. Security? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Patrick attacks Squidward as he comes out of the washroom.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Check. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Crowd outside chants "We want Krabby Patties!" over and over.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: (to everyone) Ok, open your ears. These people have come for miles around because they love my patties. I want every employee on their best behavior. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: Are you getting any of this, SpongeBob? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Every word, Squidward. Every word. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: So let's get out there and sell some Krabby Patties! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Yeahhhhhhhh! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Oh! I almost forgot! Mr. Krabs, wait! There's one more decoration! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Group walks to freezer) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: I present to you........... (tries to open door) (in frustrated tone) I present to you.......... (pulls off handle which knocks out Squidward) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Door opens. Krabs and Squidward and gasp.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: My ode to the Krabby Patty. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Shows an ice sculpture of a Krabby Patty) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Made entirely out of ice. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Yeesh, boy. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Walks to statue) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: This thing enormous. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: And cold. (Shivers) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Alright. Let's get this thing out of here. Me customers are waiting. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Ready, set, (groans as he pulls while Patrick, Krabs and Squidward push on other side.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(SpongeBob's hands slip from statue as he launches himself out of the freezer, off the wall and accidentally closing the door with the wind of him flying.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Krabs and Squidward: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (Patrick joins in) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Guys, I'm okay. No need to scream. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Squidward and Krabs run over SpongeBob and Patrick to get to door. They pound with the door locked on them but no one hears.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Oh no! Patrick, stand up! We're locked in! this is going to spoil the eleventy seventh anniversary! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Switch to black screen) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Return to crowd chanting "We want Krabby Patties!" outside. Then to Squidward and Krabs pounding on freezer door.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: How are we going to get out? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Everyone calm down! I've spent a lifetime working in this restaurant and I know there's only one way out of here. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patrick: A high school diploma? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: No. (points to vent) The air duct. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Group climbs up statue to vent and starts to crawl through it.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: This way, boys! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Patrick crushes Squidward on his way in) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: All we got to is crawl through this duct. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Points to room with multiple ducts.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: Which one? There must be a least 20 ways to go! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Not to worry, Squidward. I have the entire map memorized. (Begins to think real hard as the map starts to show on his back.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Uhhhhh, hmmm. Uhhhh. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Hurry up, guys. This kinda hurts. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Well, according to the map, we just go straight, take a right between these 3 moldy tree stumps. Then towards that kidney bean shaped puddle of gravy. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: That's not the map, you old barnacle! Those are 3 moles and a birthmark! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Oh. Alright, then let's try this one. (Points to random duct) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Groups falls in small tank) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: It's this way! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patrick: Here it is! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Everyone: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Groups squeeze in pipe and fall into dead end.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Mr. Krabs groans) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Hey. What's this? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Picks up old Krabby Patty wrapper.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: It's a old Krabby Patty wrapper. Awwwwwwww. That takes me back to the good old days. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Flashback starts with a baby SpongeBob watching TV when a commercial comes on.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Announcer: And now a word from our sponsor! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Chorus: K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y! Krabby Patties! Give em' a try! Come on down and buy, buy, buy! Not just one or two or three, but enough for the whole family! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Announcer: Yes, folks! 9 out of 10 doctors recommend at least one Krabby Patty a day to maintain a healthy lifestyle and youthful, positive attitude! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs (in a doctor outfit): I'm a doctor. As far as you know, and I believe Krabby Patties add years to your life! So what are you waiting for? Go out a get yourself a Krabby Patty! Or buy a sack full of patties! Or better yet, go out and buy a case of the Krabbies! For your health. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Chorus: K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y-! Krabby Patty! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Switch to baby SpongeBob walking down to the Krusty Krab and getting a patty with his mom and dad and loving his first bite. Back to the group stuck in the air duct.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Ahhhhhh. Back then, a Krabby Patty only cost a dime. (crushes ad) It was a dark and evil time. I still have nightmares. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: We'll never get out of here! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Don't worry Squidward. We'll find our way out. And then we'll have the best eleventy-seventh anniversary ever! All we have to do stick together! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Groups crawls close together in new duct, Patrick breathes heavy behind Squidward) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: Stop breathing on my neck! Blah! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Patrick starts to hold his breath. Then after a couple seconds then he spits all over Squidward.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Hey! I think I see the exit! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Mr. Krabs opens door to a security room) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Ahh, barnacles. It's just the surveillance room. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(SpongeBob, Patrick and Squiward walk in) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Whoa! My house is on TV! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: All of our houses are on TV! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Mr. Krabs starts to sneak away) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(One TV shows Gary jumping on SpongeBob's bed) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Gary: Meow! Meow! Meow! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Gary the Snail, you get down from that bed this instance! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patrick: Hey, there's my house! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(TV shows Patrick's living room with his TV still on) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: You left your TV on. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patrick: Well, duh. I don't want to miss my shows. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Look, it's Sandy! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(TV shows Sandy brushing her teeth) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Sandy: Ahhhh. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: Mr. Krabs, why do you have cameras watching us? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Ummm, well, uhhhhhhhhh. I.. just want to make sure floss after every meal. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Thank you Mr. Krabs. Dental hygiene is very very important. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patrick: Hey! (points to tv) Who are those guys? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(TV shows backs of SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Spongebob: I think it's us Patrick. (Spongebob turns around and points to camera crew) But who are they?! (The camera crew flees using the vent canal) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Crowd(on TV): We want Krabby Patties! (2x) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr.Krabs: (Mr.Krabs turns around and sees that his customers are chanting they want Krabby Patties) My customers are getting antsy! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(The camera goes to the live scene where the customers are chanting "We want Krabby Patties. Then the camera pans to Plankton in the crowd then he goes inside a vent tube in the Krusty Krab's perimeter. When he goes in he walks a little not looking in front of him then he immediately falls down a hole and bumps into a seris of turns and corners. Then we go back to the group currently still looking for an exit) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr.Krabs: We're getting warm,I can feel it. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Spongebob: That might just be my hand Mr.Krabs. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Then the group see that there are crossroads) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr Krabs: Hmm,a crossroads (Mr.Krabs points to the right road) I'll go this way and Spongebob (Mr.Krabs points to the left road)You lead them down that way. (Then Mr.Krabs goes to the to the right road) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Spongebob: Lead them? I can finally use my leader hat! (Yodele song plays) (Then Spongebob points to his hairy leg) And my leader hosen! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patrick: Nice. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: Those are just sock garters,you idiot. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Spongebob: Follow me! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Then the group goes to the left road) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: This is not happening,it's just not happening. (Yodel song ends) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Then the camera goes to Mr.Krabs going to the right road then to Spongebob's group going to the left road) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Then Spongebob's group hits a dead end then squish each other) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Spongebob: Guys,it's a dead end. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Then the group breaks the dead end then they they fall down saying AHHHHH!!!) |
||
| − | * |
||
| − | ==Patchy Scene== |
||
| − | *(We see Patchy still looking for other celebrities) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Hey! I went to Blackbeard Polly Technique with this guy! He has to be on my show. According to the pirate's code. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Phone rings for Craig Ferguson) (Ferguson picks up phone) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Ferguson: Hello? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: (In bad Scottish accent) Is this Cap'n Craig, son of Ferg? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Ferguson: Oh hey, Patchy the Pirate. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: How's me old Blackbeard Collage room mate? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Ferguson: Listen it would be great plunging down memory rapids with you, but I'm kinda busy right now. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Servant of Ferguson comes in and asks which bagel he likes from the plate. He chosses one, then the servant leaves.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Listen Fergalicious, I was hoping I could get you to appear on my Spongebob Fan Club 10th year anniversary show tonight. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Ferguson: Uh no no, that's not gonna work for me. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Oh, you have to. It's in the pirates code. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Ferguson: Arrr. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Arrr! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Ferguson: Arrrrr. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Arrrrr! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Ferguson: Garrrrrrrr! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Mr. Bigshot. Mr. TV. No time for your old pirate school buddies anymore. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Ferguson: That's right, Patchy. I got my own TV network show now. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Oh great. So who's on your big fancy, schmancy TV show tonight? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Ferguson: Actually, we've got a real A-lister tonight. Robin Williams is on. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: (Stars appear on Patchy's eyes) Robin Williams! (Patchy gasps) (Stars disappear) Gotta go Fergo! (Patchy hangs up) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Ferguson: (Ferguson puts down phone) Where's my bagel? BAGEL!!! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Thanks for the tip Ferguson! (maniacaly laughs) |
||
[[Category:Episode transcripts]] |
[[Category:Episode transcripts]] |
||
[[Category:Season 6 transcripts]] |
[[Category:Season 6 transcripts]] |
||
Revision as of 21:51, 5 March 2015
Template:NoEdit Template:EpisodeTr/123-124
- [The episode begins with a stop-motion intro. More information can be found here: SpongeBob SquarePants Theme Song#SpongeBob Truth or Square version.]
- [The real episode begins with a clip of Patchy entering his house after being shot out of a cannon from Shanghaied. It is surrounded by a picture frame that it surrounded by a red background.]
- Ricky Gervais: [As a voice over] Ten years ago, an unknown [The clip is replaced by a clip of Patchy laughing in "Party Pooper Pants".] pirate from Encino began a [The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy removing the SpongeBob items off his bed from "The Sponge Who Could Fly".] decade long obsession [The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy in his one man band from "Party Pooper Pants".] with TV's most beloved [The clip is replaced by a clip of Patchy putting the SpongeBob cookie ornament on his Christmas tree from "Christmas Who?".] an absorbent sponge. And today, [The clip is replace by a clip of Patchy being spun on the playground roundabout from "The Sponge Who Could Fly".] a mere ten years later, obviously, [The clip is replaced by a clip of Patchy in a barrel and female parrots trying to kiss him from "Party Pooper Pants".] ten years ago, I said that, [The clip is replaced by a clip of Patchy in a cannon and then being shot out of it from "Shanghied".] he has traveled all the way to a far off land known as, "Burbank". [The clip is replaced by a clip of Patchy going down a slide from "The Sponge Who Could Fly".] To find Nicktoons Animation Studio [The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy ripping his underwear off from "The Sponge Who Could Fly".] and meet his idol [The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy being chewed on by a T-Rex from Ugh.] face to face for the first time [The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy getting angry in "The Sponge Who Could Fly".] in [The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy rolling around in the lost episode's film strip from "The Sponge Who Could Fly".] ten years...it's ten years ago. [The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy holding up a SpongeBob cookie when he was talking about if Squidward was right about Christmas in "Christmas Who?".] It's ten years ago. [The clip is replaced with a clip of Patchy seeing the stick of dynamite and it going off from "Party Pooper Pants".] Let's see what happens, yeah.
- The screen fades to black. The scene opens up to the front of Nickelodeon Animation Studios, where Patchy's Mom's car is pulling up. The scene changes to show the left of the car. Patchy gets out.]
- Patchy the Pirate: Oh. Bye Mom. Thanks for the lift. [Patchy's mom drives off, leaving smoke behind. Patchy coughs.] Hey, kids. Isn't this exiting? I'm here at Nickelodeon, home of SpongeBob SquarePants. And I'm gonna ask him if he'll be my guest of honor on my tenth anniversary TV special. [Patchy Chuckles. An image of the special's title appears. It reads, "Patchy the Pirate's SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club Big Time Celebratory Television Extravaganza!" On the left, there is an image of Patchy. Next to him is the word, "Starring" and below him is his name. On the right, there is an image of Potty. Next to him is the word, "Starring" and below him is his name. The scene returns to Patchy.] Come on. [Patchy waves indicating to come that way. He walks to the gate. The scene shifts to show a speaker communicator. Patchy's hook is show pressing it] Ahoy.
- [The scene shifts to show patchy hunched over next to the speaker.]
- Security Guard: [through the speaker] Sir, may I help you?
- Patchy: Yes. This is Patchy the Pirate for SpongeBob SquarePants. I believe he's expecting me. I sent him over 400 letters...this week.
- Security Guard: Uh, yes. SpongeBob is not here right now, sir.
- Patchy: That's okay. I can wait. [Patchy takes out a lawn chair and sits down. The down to the gate opens and this startles Patchy.] SpongeBob?!
- Security Guard: Sir, please step away from the gate.
- Patchy: Awe, poopdeck. I was hoping I could ask SpongeBob to phone up some of his famous friends so he could ask them to be guests on my show.
- Security Guard: Uh huh. [The security guard starts to leave, but then realizes who Patchy is.] Oh. You're here for the Casting Department.
- Patchy: Yeah.
- Security Guard: In that case, please step right inside sir.
- [Patchy thrusts his arm and mouths the word, "yes". Patchy follows the security guard inside. Inside, Patchy and the security guard walk down a hallway. Patchy jumps up in the air and laughs. He returns to the ground.]
- Patchy: Woo! Oh hey, when'll SpongeBob be here? Whe're's he? At lunch? [The Security Guard shakes his head to indicate, "No".] At an important meeting?
- Security Guard: I'm not sure, sir.
- Patchy: Getting his boat waxed?
- Security Guard: [Pointing ahead] This way, sir.
- [The two continue to walk]
- Patchy: What's he really like?
- Security Guard: [Pointing ahead] This way, sir.
- Patchy: Does he come in everyday?
- Security Guard: [Pointing ahead] This way, sir.
- Patchy: Does he die his hair?
- Security Guard: [Pointing ahead] Walk this way, sir.
- Patchy: Huh?
- [The scene shifts to show a room. It has a couch, a TV, a poster for The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, and an animation cell of SpongeBob at the Krusty Krab. The Security Guard opens the door. Patchy walks in.]
- Security Guard: Here you are, sir. Please wait here while you wait. [Patchy sits down on the couch.] Can I get you anything, sir?
- Yeah. A shrimp cocktail. [Patchy air laughs expecting that the security guard cannot get it. The security guard puts his hand out and then back in with a shrimp cocktail. He gives it to Patchy.] Ooh. That's what I call service... [The security guard smiles.] with a smile.
- [The security guard leaves. The SpongeBob part of the episode begins with the title card. The episode begins showing the three houses of Conch Street at night. The scene transitions to morning. The scene changes to SpongeBob's room, where Gary's shell shaking with a blanket on top of it. Next to the shell is an traditional alarm clock.]
- Gary: [In his shell] Meow. [The alarm clock goes off.] Meow. [Gary's head pops out of his shell.] Meow.
- [A long line of alarm clocks go off, which leads from Gary, who is in the front of the bed to SpongeBob's normal alarm clock. It goes off and spits out more alarm clocks. SpongeBob wakes up. SpongeBob gets out of bed and turns the alarm clocks off.]
- SpongeBob: Good Morning, Gary!
- Gary: [Angrily] Meow.
- SpongeBob: A little overboard? And take a chance at being late for the single most greatest day of my career. [The shot widens and a thought bubble appears. It shows The Krusty Krab.] The eleventy-seventh anniversary of the Krusty Krab. [SpongeBob leans near Gary and shakes his head.] Oh, oh, oh, I think not. [He returns to his previous position.] No self-respecting Krusty Krab employee would be late on this day.
- [The scene changes to show the exterior of SpongeBob's pineapple, where SpongeBob's door open and a line of alarm clocks are leading to the inside of Squidward's house. The scene follows the alarm clocks to Squidward's door and then moves up. Squidward is heard muttering.]
- Squidward: [Off-Screen] What the?
- [The scene returns to SpongeBob's Room. He is yelling out of his window.] See you at the Big Event, Squidward! [SpongeBob gets hit with an alarm clock. This causes him to fly and land next to Gary. SpongeBob gets up.] Can you believe that its been eleventy-seven years already?
- Gary: [Snidely] Meow, Meow, Meow.
- SpongeBob: Oh, Watch the potty mouth, Gare. Today is a day for gentle reflection. Awe, I remember my first visit to The Krusty Krab.
- [A flashback begins. It shows the exterior of The Krusty Krab. Harold and Margaret SquarePants are walking to it. The scene shifts to show Harold and Margaret's front.
- Harold SquarePants: I don't know. This doesn't seem like a family restaurant.
- Margaret SquarePants: Oh. [The scene widens to reveal that she is pregnant with SpongeBob] Well, what do you think, baby? Should we eat here? [The scene moves to show the inside of Margaret's womb. SpongeBob swims off-screen. The scene returns to show Margaret. She is moves inside to the front of the cash register boat.] Well, Okay, then. [The scene returns to the womb and SpongeBob is next to Margaret's nelly button which looks like a window. Margaret's voice is echoing.] What would you like?
- [SpongeBob looks out Maragaret's belly button and sees the Galley Grub]
- SpongeBob: Krabby Patty! [The scene changes to show Margaret and Harold sitting at a table eating Krabby Patties. In the womb, SpongeBob is eating the Krabby Patties through the umbilical cord.] Yummy! [He takes the cord, rips it out, and sucks on the cord. The flashback ends and SpongeBob is shown laying on the ground being held up by his elbows.] Good times. [An alarm clock appears. SpongeBob jumps up and starts running in the air.] Oh, sorry, Gary, we can reminisce later. I gotta get ready.
- [SpongeBob runs off-screen and Gary hisses at the alarm clock. The alarm clock "runs" away. The scene changes to show SpongeBob with a towel around his waist in the bathroom. He turns on the shower and takes the towel off. The scene shows SpongeBob showering]
- SpongeBob: [Singing voice-over]
- [SpongeBob melts through the ice cube. He falls into the soda. He gets sucked up by a straw, which is being sucked up by SpongeBob. SpongeBob then jumps away. The scene fades to the Exterior of Nickelodeon Studios. The scene shows. Patchy at a desk. Next to Patchy there is a Rolodex. Patchy is finishing the shrimp cocktail.]
- Patchy: Security, more shrimp cocktail in Casting, please. Thank you.
- [He throws away the end of the last shrimp piece on the tray. A figure that looks like Potty, but with a devil tail and horns appears.]
- Devil Potty: Look, Patchy, a Rolodex. Why, it's probably full of celebrity phone numbers. You don't need SpongeBob. You can call them yourself. Go on, have a look. Squawk.
- [Patchy leans into it. Another figure that looks like Potty, but this time with a halo and angel wings appears.]
- Angel Potty: That's private property, Patchy. If you get caught looking at it, we'll never get to meet SpongeBob.
- Patchy: Yeah, good point.
- Devil Potty: Don't listen to him. You want your TV show to have big-name guests, don't you?
- Patchy: Yeah. No. I mean...
- Devil Potty: Then do it.
- Angel Potty: Don't do it, Patchy.
- Devil Potty: Come on. Do it! Do it!
- Patchy: I shall. [He takes the Rolodex. The Potties leave.] Let's see, Dawson, Richard. Rosario. Rosario Dawson! She'll bring a little class to the show.
- [The scene changes to show Rosario Dawson in her home looking at a magazine. She gets a phone call.]
- Rosario Dawson: Hello?
- [The scene returns to Patchy. He has bad breath that is showing.]
- Patchy: Uh, hello, Rosario.
- [The scene returns to Rosario. Patchy's breath has gone through the phone.]
- Rosario Dawson: Oh, Goodness.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: It's Patchy the Pirate, president of the SpongeBob
- [The scene returns to Rosario. She is holding her nose.]
- Patchy: [through the phone.] Fan Club. I'm throwing a little TV
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: show-tacular, and I need a little celebrity wind in my sail, so to speak.
- [The scene returns to Rosario.]
- Rosario Dawson: Okay. You need a little mouthwash is what you need.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: I was wondering if you'd like to be my special guest.
- [The scene returns to Rosario. She groans.]
- Rosario Dawson: Are you going to be in the same city?
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Of course, silly. We'll be working closely together all day.
- [The scene returns to Rosario. She hangs up. She groans. The scene returns to Patchy. Patchy groans. He hangs up the phone.]
- Patchy: Well, back to the old Rolodex. Uh, Bo Derek. Bo Diddly. Eddie Deezen. Eddie Deezen?
- [Eddie Deezen walks into the room.]
- Eddie Deezen: Hey, when do we film?
- [The scene shows Patchy confused. The scene returns to the door. The security guard comes in.]
- Security Guard: This way, sir.
- [The security guard takes Eddie Deezen out of the room. Patchy sighs.]
- Patchy: Ooh. This will be good.
- [Patchy picks up the phone. The scene changes to show the house of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. The scene shows him with another dog near the pool. He answers the phone]
- Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog: Yes?
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Ahoy, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.
- [The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]
- Triumph: I'm Busy. Hurry up.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: This is Patchy the Pirate.
- [The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]
- Triumph: Oh. Don't give me that Patchy stuff. Come on, Depp, I know it's you. Drop the pirate thing.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: You know, I do get that a lot, but seriously, it's not Johnny Depp.
- [The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]
- Triumph: Come on. Who is this? The pirate from the cereal box or the litter box.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: The one from Encino. It's Patchy, president of the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club.
- [The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]
- Triumph: Oh, the president. Well, your mother must be so proud.
- [The scene returns to Patchy. He looks disgusted.]
- [The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]
- Triumph: Listen, Scratchy.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: It's Patchy
- [The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]
- Triumph: You know, Catchy, maybe you should consider wearing two eye patches. That way, you won't be able to see what's become of your life.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: What?
- [The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]
- Triumph: So, what are you tell me, what are you selling, besides your dignity and self-respect?
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: None of the above. I was wondering if you'd like to be a guest on the big TV special. That I am throwing for SpongeBob.
- [The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]
- Triumph: Sorry, Poop-Leg Pete. I'm a big star. I don't do basic cable. I'm on a major network. Kind of.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: It would sure mean a lot to be personally if you'd be on my show, Triumph.
- [The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]
- Triumph: Oh, it would mean a lot. Well, why didn't you say so? That changes everything.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Oh.
- [The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]
- Triumph: You know, I'd love to be on your show. I'd love it as much as I love pulling ticks off my butt.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Well, fine. Who needs you, you filthy mongrel?
- [The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]
- Triumph: Okay, Captain Loser. Send me a script.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Great! So, you'll be on my show?
- [The scene returns to Triumph the Insulting Comic Dog.]
- Triumph: Sure, of course. I'm sure that it's a great script. Three, two, one. For me to poop on!
- [Triumph hangs up the phone. The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Oh, yeah, well, I'll have you know, you are not the biggest star to tell me that. Hello? Hello?
- [Patchy groans and hangs up the phone. The scene changes to show the exterior of SpongeBob's pineapple. He opens the door and starts to jog to the Krusty Krab. A crash is heard off-screen. The scene moves to the origin of the crash. SpongeBob is laying down behind a line of fish.]
- Harold: Hey, hey. Chill out, buddy. We all want to get into the Krusty Krab as much as you do.
- [The scene shows that the line goes all of the way to the Krusty Krab. The scene returns to SpongeBob. He looks at his watch.]
- But I don't have time to wait in line. Sorry, but I can't be late today.
- [SpongeBob steps on people's head's to get to The Krusty Krab.]
- Harold: Oh!
- Mable-Monica: Ah!
- Isabelle Fish: Ooh!
- Sadie: What the?
- Frankie Billy: Hey!
- Fred: Ah!
- Tom: Eh!
- Shubie: Uh!
- SpongeBob: Sorry, everybody, but Mr. Krabs needs me. [More fish make annoyed noises. Once SpongeBob reaches the end, the scene changes to the interior of The Krusty Krab. The scene shows several fish waiting on the door. SpongeBob Squeezes himself through the cracked between the doors and the ground. He enters The Krusty Krab. He lands in the arms of Mr. Krabs.] Reporting for duty, sir.
- [SpongeBob solutes Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs puts SpongeBob down in a seat next to Squidward.]
- Mr. Krabs: Take a seat, boy.
- SpongeBob: Happy eleventy-seventh, Squidward.
- Mr. Krabs: [Walking past the table] Today's a big a day for The Krusty Krab. [Mr, Krabs ends up at a button.] So I want yous to listen up. [He pushes the button. It causes a shield to go around The Krusty Krab.] It's a perfect opportunity for Plankton to try and steal the Krabby Patty formuler.
- [Mr. Krabs pulls a lever that looks like a handle on a table. It causes a panel to open. The table goes down the panel and is replaced by a hologram table. It turns on a hologram of the Krusty Krab.
- Isn't that just The Krusty Krab?
- Mr. Krabs: No. It's a holographic projection of The Krusty Krab. I want you two to watch all the entrances.
- Squidward: You mean the front door and the back door?
- [Mr. Krabs pushes a button on the hologram table.]
- Mr. Krabs: Those are just the ones on the surface. [The hologram expands to show the duct work.] There is an entire network of tunnels and air ducts underground and I want all eyes on the look out!
- SpongeBob: Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs.
- [Eyes grow on SpongeBob, filling his holes.]
- Mr. Krabs: Right. Study the map, stay extra vigilant. Don't fall asleep on the job. That means you, Squidward.
- Squidward: What? I have never fallen asleep on duty.
- Mr. Krabs: Don't make me have a flashback.
- [A flashback begins. It shows Squidward sleeping at his station. Fred is on the other side of the Cash register. The scene changes to show SpongeBob opening The Krusty Krab broom closet to find Squidward sleeping. The scene changes to show a close shot of Frankie Billy about to eat a patty at The Krusty Krab. The shot widens to show Squidward sleeping on Frankie Billy's table. It also reveals that Frankie Billy is dining with Nancy. The scene changes to show a close shot of the sink in The Krusty Krab kitchen. Bubbles are coming out of the sink and Squidward's snoring is heard. The shot widens to show Squidward with his head in the sink. The scene changes to show SpongeBob on a Krusty Krab stall and reading a newspaper. Squidward's snores are heard. SpongeBob looks into the stall next to his and sees Squidward holding a newspaper and sleeping. The flashback ends.]
- Squidward: All right, point taken.
- [Mr. Krabs turns off the hologram.]
- Mr. Krabs: And to help watch out for Plankton, I've hired some extra security.
- [A dark figure is shown in the corner. He walks into the light. It is revealed to be Patrick. He has an angry look on his face. He smacks his fist into his palm.]
- Squidward: [While Patrick is walking to them] You hired Patrick?
- Mr. Krabs: What, you expect me to spend money on a real security guard? You are my first line of defense, Patrick. So, look out for any suspiciorous characters.
- Patrick: [No longer having an angry face. Saluting.] Yes, sir. [Patrick surveys the area. He sees Squidward and pushes him to the wall] Who are you? And Who are you working for?!
- [Mr. Krabs chuckles]
- Mr. Krabs: Plankton doesn't stand a chance.
- [The scene changes to show the exterior of the Chum Bucket. It has a banner on it that reads, "Celebrating 50 years of failure." The scene pans in. As it pans in, the doors open and an image of the dining area is shown and it pans into that. The scene fades to a wide shot of the lab. Karen is show in her computer form and Plankton is show at his desk.]
- Plankton: [As it is still panning in] It's a conspiracy, I tell you! A thousand and three times I've almost had that recipe, and a thousand and three times I've been launched by that Krabs! He celebrates eleventy-seven years of success, [The scene changes to show a medium shot of Plankton at his desk.] I'm left with four score and forty fortnights of failure! [The scene changes to show a closer shot of Plankton. He tears up.] I give up, Karen. Krabs has won!
- Karen: [Off-Screen] Well, you'll never get the formula with that attitude. [On-Screen] Maybe a thousand and four will be your lucky number.
- Plankton: Oh, yeah? You try getting launched.
- Karen: Oh, right, the launchings. [Her face is replace by a loading bar and the word "accessing" above it.] I've got them all on my hard drive.
- [The scene shows, on Karen's monitor, Mr. Krabs in a baseball uniform, exiting the Krusty Krab. The scene shifts to show just the scene. Mr. Krabs pushes Plankton into the air. Mr. Krabs does this with a glove that he is wearing. Mr. Krabs spits and then throws Plankton. Plankton hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs' claw putting down a golf tee. He puts Plankton on the tee. He is then shown in a golf outfit, holding a golf club. He then prepares to hit Plankton.]
- Mr. Krabs: Fore!
- [Mr. Krabs hits Plankton. Plankton hits the Chum Bucket.]
- Plankton: Ow!
- [The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs riding on a seahorse, wearing a polo uniform, and holding a polo stick. Plankton is shown running. away from the polo stick. Mr. Krabs hits Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs holding a slingshot with Plankton on it. Mr. Krabs is holding the slingshot back. Mr. Krabs releases the slingshot. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs in a hockey uniform holding a hockey stick. He is pushing Plankton on some ice that is outside of the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs hits Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs with a Curling stone that has Plankton on it. Mr. Krabs pushes the the Curling stone on the ice. SpongeBob takes a broom and sweeps and walks backwards until he reaches the Chum Bucket. Plankton screams until he hits the Chum Bucket doors. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob in football uniforms. SpongeBob is holding Plankton horizontally in front of Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs runs up and kicks Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. There is a goal post painted on the Chum Bucket. SpongeBob pops and puts both his arms horizontally in the air, signally that Mr. Krabs got the point. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs holding Plankton, walking outside the Krusty Krab.]
- Mr. Krabs: I'm tired today, Plankton. [He drops Plankton.] You're just gonna have to launch yourself.
- [Mr. Krabs walks back inside. Plankton tears up. He walks to the Chum Bucket and hits his head on the door.]
- Plankton: Splat.
- [Plankton begins to cry. Karen's laughing is heard. The scene pans out to show the scene on Karen's monitor. The scene shifts to not-recording Plankton.]
- Plankton: Karen?!
- [The footage is removed and replaced with Karen]
- Karen: I'm sorry. That last part always makes me laugh.
- [Plankton jumps off his desk.]
- Plankton: It's just no use!
- Karen: [Off-Screen] Today's the [On-Screen] perfect day to steal the recipe. Krabs will be completely distracted by all the festivities. You can do this.
- Plankton: You really think so?
- Karen: Of course, I do. Now who's my big man?
- Plankton: Oh, Karen.
- Karen: Come on. Come on. Who's my big strong man?
- Plankton: I am.
- Karen: That's right. Now get out there and steal that recipe.
- Plankton: [Saluting Karen] Yes, Ma'am!
- [The scene returns to Nickelodeon Studios where Patchy is flipping through the Rolodex. Patchy is then shown holding the phone.]
- Patchy: Hey, LeBron, how's the Dribbling?
- [The scene shows LeBron James at his house.]
- LeBron James: Hey, Patchy, What's up?
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: How would you, LeBron James, like to be a guest on the fan clubmongorical special for SpongeBob?
- [The scene returns to LeBron James.]
- LeBron James: I Love SpongeBob, man, but I can't, man. I've got a game today, man.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Oh, Come on! The season's hardly even started yet.
- [The scene returns to LeBron James.]
- LeBron James: Huh?
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Oh, they won't care if you miss one game, will they?
- [The scene returns to LeBron James.]
- LeBron James: I have a contract. I have to go.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Oh, contract [The scene returns to LeBron James.] schmontract. [The scene returns to Patchy.] We have party gifts.
- [The scene returns to LeBron James.]
- LeBron James: Dude, I gotta go.
- [LeBron James hangs up on Patchy. The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Oh! [Patchy grunts and hangs up the phone.] This casting business is harder than 40 years of barnacle buildup. [Patchy Grunts. He is shown going through the Rolodex.] Okay, time to get serious.
- [The scene changes to show Tina Fey in an office. The phone rings. She answers it.]
- Tina Fey: Hello.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Ahoy, Tina.
- [The scene returns to Tina Fey.]
- Tina Fey: Who is this?
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Patchy... the pirate.
- [The scene returns to Tina Fey.]
- Tina Fey: Oh, I don't know any pirates anymore. Are you sure you have the right number?
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Hey, listen, us bad soul sistas have to stick [The scene returns to Tina Fey.] together, huh?
- Tina Fey: Sure.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Great, 'cause I'm throwing a huge telestravaganza for SpongeBob SquarePants and I'd love it if you'd come down and sing a song for us.
- [The scene returns to Tina Fey.]
- Tina Fey: I'm not much for singing, but I love SpongeBob. Who else is going to be performing?
- [The scene returns to Patchy. He chuckles.]
- Patchy: Aren't you the modest one? Well, SpongeBob, for one, will be on the show.
- [The scene returns to Tina Fey.]
- Tina Fey: Oh, Tom Kenny, the voice of SpongeBob?
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Who?
- [The scene returns to Tina Fey.]
- Tina Fey: Well, you said SpongeBob is going to be on the show.
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: That's right. The little sponge is the guest on honor.
- [The scene returns to Tina Fey.]
- Tina Fey: But, he's a cartoon, so you mean the guy who does the voice, right?
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Listen, Miss Turner, you let me handle the guests. You stick to your singing and dancing.
- [The scene returns to Tina Fey.]
- Tina Fey: Mrs. Turner? Oh, no, this isn't Tina Turner. This is Tina Fey.
- [The scene returns to Patchy. He chuckles.]
- Patchy: Who?
- [The scene returns to Tina Fey. She hangs up on Patchy.]
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Hello? Hello, Tina? You'd better be good to me.
- Patchy: [The scene shows Patchy going through the Rolodex. The scene changes to show Will Ferrell stretching in public. He gets a call on his phone and answers it.]
- Will Ferrell: Yeah, who's calling me?
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Hey, Will, it's Patchy the pirate, [The scene returns to Will Ferrell.] president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club [The scene returns to Patchy.] in Encino, and I'm throwing a little TV special for him.
- [The scene returns to Will Ferrell.]
- Will Ferrell: Oh, really? Well, I'm president of the SpongeBob Fan Club, Tarzana chapter, and I'm throwing a TV show, too, [The scene returns to Patchy.] so get in line.
- Patchy: What?! You can't do that!
- [The scene returns to Will Ferrell.]
- Will Ferrell: Can't I? Well, guess what. I'm doing it. You'd better wrap your mind around it because guess what. [The scene returns to Patchy.] My show's also gonna be a lot better.
- Patchy: Doubt it. Who are your guests?
- [The scene returns to Will Ferrell.]
- Will Ferrell: You name it, we've go it: Hollywood stars, musical people, singers, jugglers, a guy who does things with knifes. [The scene returns to Patchy.] Do you have that, [The scene returns to Will Ferrell.] huh? Who do you have?
- [The scene returns to Patchy.]
- Patchy: Hang on to your hat. Sir Quentin and Mr. Tinder. Ever heard of 'em?
- [The scene returns to Will Ferrell.]
- Will Ferrell: What?! The world's fifth best ventriloquist and his wooden sidekick?
- [The scene returns to Patchy. He laughs]
- Patchy: Of course, silly.
- [The scene returns to Will Ferrell.]
- Will Ferrell: No way! [He frustratingly grunts. The scene returns to Patchy.] No! [The scene returns to Will Ferrell.] Okay, you win this time, but just you wait for the 20th. 'Cause I will come at you harder and faster.
- [Will Ferrell ends the call. The scene returns to Patchy the pirate.]
- Patchy: [As he's hanging the phone up] 20th anniversary...
- [The scene changes to show fish outside of the Krusty Krab.]
- Crowd: We want Krabby patties! We want Krabby patties!
- [The scene changes to show a close up shot of the numbers on the Galley Grub menu.]
- Mr. Krabs: [Off-Screen] Now to add some special anniversary deals to the menu. [Mr. Krabs' claw holding a pencil appears and he starts adding decimal points after the first zero in the prices and adding an extra zero at the end of the prices as he talks.] Krabby Patty... 20 bucks. 39 bucks. 30. [He chuckles. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs on a ladder next to the Galley Grub.] Oh, number zero, how I love you so. [Squidward walks into frame and Mr. Krabs starts to walk down the ladder.] SpongeBob!
- [The scene shifts to show a similar scene as before, but with the frame moved down. SpongeBob runs into the frame.]
- Y-Yes, Sir?
- [Mr. Krabs finishes climbing down the ladder.]
- Mr. Krabs: I'm putting you in charge of decorations.
- [Mr. Krabs scribbles something on his clipboard.]
- SpongeBob: Oh, but Mr. Krabs.
- Mr. Krabs: Yes, boy?
- SpongeBob: I thought you said that I was going to be in charge of decorations.
- Mr. Krabs: What? But you are.
- SpongeBob: I am? [SpongeBob flings his arms in the air] Yay! [SpongeBob runs around with his arms in the air.] Yeah! Yeah!
- Mr. Krabs: Squidward! I had chores for you, but you won't do 'em anyway.
- Squidward: It only took you eleventy-seven years for you to figure that out?
- [The scene shows SpongeBob next to Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs takes out two quarters.]
- Mr. Krabs: Here's your budget, boy. [He gives SpongeBob the quarters.] Decorate it any way you want.
- SpongeBob: Wow! Fifty cents!
- Squidward: Your letting SpongeBob decorate? Remember all the other times SpongeBob decorated?
- Squidward, SpongeBob, and Mr. Krabs: Hmm...
- [A flashback begins. It shows The interior of the Krusty Krab with a western theme. Frankie Billy and Evelyn are shown at a table. On the table is the bone of a cow head. The floor looks like the a desert. It has rocks and cacti on it. The lights have been replaced by a western-style chandelier. The metal wall has been replaced with a gray wood one. The doors have been replaced by saloon doors. The scene pans to show Squidward in the order boat. The boat has wagon wheel next to it. The order window looks like an old style window with red shutters. SpongeBob pops his head out of the window. He is wearing a cowboy hat and holding a tray of food.]
- SpongeBob: Yee-haw!
- [SpongeBob laughs. The scene changes to show the interior of the Krusty Krab with a 1970s theme. Frankie Billy and Evelyn are shown at a table. On the table is a lava lamp. The floor is a rug. The window has green wallpaper with a pattern on it. The metal wall has orange and red striped wall paper on it. The lights have been replaced by a disco ball. The boxes that are in the rafters have been pained with a blue pattern. The doors have been replaced by bead entrances. The scene pans to show Squidward in the order boat. The boat has carpet material around it. The order window has been painted to have a blue and red pattern. SpongeBob pops his head out of the window. He is wearing an Afro wig and holding a tray of food.
- SpongeBob: Do you come here often?
- [SpongeBob laughs. The scene changes to show the interior of the Krusty Krab with a space theme. Frankie Billy and Evelyn are shown at a table. They are wearing space helmets. The tables have been replaced and the barrels have been replaced with moon craters which goes along with the moon floor. The window has space wallpaper on it. The lights have been replaced by images of Mars, a moon, and Saturn. The doors have been replaced by doors that have two sides and jagged edges and open up, instead of go outward. The scene pans to show Squidward in the order boat. The order boat looks similar to a moon rover. The metal wall has stars and a meteor. The order window looks similar to the doors. Squidward is wearing a space helmet. The order window opens and things and Squidward go through it. The scene then shows Squidward in space. He is screaming. He passes SpongeBob who is wearing his water helmet. He is cooking on his grill. He laughs. The flashback ends.
- Squidward, SpongeBob, and Mr. Krabs: Hmm...
- [Mr. Krabs turns to Squidward.]
- Mr. Krabs: Well, you want want to do it, then?
- Squidward: No.
- Mr. Krabs: Then shut your porthole.
- Squidward: Battening down the word hatches, sir.
- [Squidward and Mr. Krabs walk away. SpongeBob looks at the two quarters. He smiles. He flies up into the air. The scene changes to show the inside of the bathroom. SpongeBob prances into the bathroom. He goes into a stall, takes out a pair of tongs and grabs the end of a pink toilet paper roll. The scene changes to the exterior of the bathroom. Squidward is walking by. SpongeBob runs out of the bathroom holding on to the tongs which are holding on to the toilet paper. Squidward stops. SpongeBob takes a piece of the toilet paper, twirls it around, and throws it up and swings on it. He swings around a pole, making the toilet paper look like a swirl on the pole. He lands on a table. The table spins around and ends up with bows on it. SpongeBob jumps in the air and lands between Patrick and Squidward. He twists the toilet paper around Patrick making him look buff with a bow belt. SpongeBob twirls the toilet paper in the air and twists it around Squidward's head. He ends up with two bows on his head, which are connected to his mouth.]
- Squidward: What? What are you...?
- [SpongeBob pulls on one of the strings that is attached to the bow. It makes Squidward smile.]
- SpongeBob: There we go.
- [SpongeBob runs off twirling the toilet paper. He runs across the top and bottom of the main windows, giving them bows. He twirls the toilet paper and dances. The scene changes to show SpongeBob in the kitchen. He is stepping on a ketchup bottle and a mustard bottle. The scene shifts to show the back of SpongeBob. Above him, there is a banner that is written in ketchup and mustard. It reads, "Eleventy-Seventh Anniversary". The scene changes to show SpongeBob squeezing a mustard bottle. He is then show squeezing a mustard bottle. Part of either the bathroom or kitchen door is shown. It shows the mustard and the ketchup crossing over to look similar to a strand of DNA. The scene changes to show mustard going on a wall in a wave pattern. The scene changes to show a table. SpongeBob puts a design on the table. SpongeBob is then shown tip-toeing sideways while holding a bottle of mustard and ketchup. He then spins it around. The scene changes to show a Krabby patty. SpongeBob puts a hose in the Krabby patty. SpongeBob is then shown pushing a pressure handle. It inflates the Krabby patty. The scene then shows Krabby patties that are attached to string. They are on the ceiling. The last patty floats up. The scene pans out to show the decorated Krusty Krab. The banner is now in the dining area and the order boat has bows on it. The kitchen door is shown. He walks out. SpongeBob floats down to him on a Krabby patty balloon. SpongeBob releases it and it floats away.]
- SpongeBob: Your change, sir.
- [SpongeBob gives Mr. Krabs the 2 quarters.]
- Mr. Krabs: Good work, boy. What, that's it?
- [SpongeBob walks away. Mr. Krabs takes out his clipboard.]
- Mr. Krabs: Decorations, check. Security?
- [Patrick is shown standing outside the bathroom. Squidward leaves the bathroom. Patrick sees Squidward and pushes him to the wall. The scene returns to Mr. Krabs.]
- Mr. Krabs: Check.