m (→Patchy Scene: removing unneeded categories and general fixes, removed: Category:2009 transcripts) |
(Um, why is the "A Day Like This" song missing form transcript? Also, why are the Patchy parts not included in this transcript?) |
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| + | {{Broken transcript}} |
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{{ITranscript}} |
{{ITranscript}} |
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| − | {{EpisodeTr |
+ | {{EpisodeTr/123-124}} |
| + | *(SpongeBob runs out of his pineapple and down the street only to run into the back of a long line) |
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| − | |title = Truth or Square |
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| + | *'''Fish:''' Hey, hey! Chill out, buddy. We all want to get into the Krusty Krab as much as you do. |
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| − | |titlecard = Truth or Square.PNG |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' ''(notices how long the line is)'' But I don't have time to get in line. Sorry, but I can't be late today. ''(starts jumping on top of peoples heads)'' Sorry, everyone, but Mr. Krabs needs me. ''(annoyed murmur as SpongeBob continues to jump on their heads. He then slides under the Krusty Krab doors and jumps into Mr. Krabs' arms)'' Reporting for duty, sir. |
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| − | |seasonnumber = 6 |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Sit down, boy. |
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| − | |episodenumber = 123-124 |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Happy eleventy-seven,Squidward! |
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| − | |airdate = [[November 6]], [[2009]] |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Today is a big day for the Krusty Krab. So I want yous to listen up. ''(pushes a red button that puts the Krusty Krab on lockdown)'' It's the perfect opportunity for Plankton to try to steal the Krabby Patty formula. ''(pulls on a latch on a table that pulls up a holographic image of the Krusty Krab)'' |
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| − | }} |
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| + | *'''Squidward:''' Isn't that just the Krusty Krab? |
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| − | ==Patchy== |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' No, it's a holographic projection of the Krusty Krab. I want you two to watch all the entrances. |
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| − | *Announcer: 10 years ago, an unknown pirate from Encino began a decade-long obsession with TV's most beloved and absorbent sponge. And today, a mere 10 years later, obviously, 10 years later, I said that. He has traveled all the way to a far off land known as Burbank. To find NickToons Animation Studios and meet his idol face to face for the first time in 10 years? 10 years, 10 years ago. Let see what happens. |
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| + | *'''Squidward:''' You mean the front and the back door? |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Those are just the ones on the surface. ''(pushes a button to reveal tunnels under the Krusty Krab)'' There's an entire network of tunnels and air ducts underground. And I want all eyes on the lookout! |
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| − | *(Switch to Nickelodeon Studios Gate) |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Aye, aye Mr. Krabs. ''(eyes start appearing on SpongeBob's holes)'' |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Right. Study this map. Stay extra vigilant. Don't fall asleep on the job. That means you, Squidward. What? I have never fallen asleep on duty. |
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| − | *(Speeding car pulls over and drops Patchy off) |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Don't make me have a flashback. ''(flashbacks of Squidward sleeping everywhere in the Krusty Krab)'' |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' All right, point taken. ''(Mr. Krabs turns off projector)'' |
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| − | *Patchy: Bye, Mom! Thanks for the lift. (coughs) Hey kids! Isn't this exciting? I'm here at Nickelodeon, home of SpongeBob SquarePants! |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' And to help watch out for Plankton, I've hired some extra security. ''(Patrick comes into the light and smacks his fist)'' |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' You hired Patrick? |
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| − | *(Presses intercom button) |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' What, you expect me to spend money on a real security guard? You're my first line of defense, Patrick. So look out for any suspicirous characters. |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Patrick:''' Yes, sir. ''(looks around and pushes Squidward against a wall)'' |
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| − | *Patchy: Ahoy! |
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| + | *'''Patrick:''' Who are you? And who are you working for?! |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' ''(laughs)'' Plankton doesn't have a chance. ''(cut to the Chum Bucket)'' |
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| − | *Employee: Studio, may I help you? |
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| + | *'''Plankton:''' It's a conspiracy, I tell you! 1003 times I've almost had that recipe, and 1003 times I've been launched by that Krabs! He celebrates eleventy-seven years of success, and I'm left with four score and forty fortnights of failure! I give up, Karen. Krabs has won! |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Karen:''' Well, you'll never get the formula with that attitude. Maybe 1004 will be your lucky number. |
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| − | *Patchy: This is Patchy the Pirate for SpongeBob SquarePants. I believe he's expecting me, I sent him over 400 letters. This week. |
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| + | *'''Plankton:''' Oh, yeah? You try getting launched! |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Karen:''' Oh, right, the launchings, I've got them all on my hard-drive. ''(Karen plays multiple clips of Mr. Krabs throwing, tossing, hitting Plankton on the front of the Chum Bucket. One where Mr. Krabs sets Plankton on the ground)'' |
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| − | *Employee: Uhhh, yeah. SpongeBob is not here right now, sir. |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm tired today, Plankton. You're just gonna have to launch yourself. |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' ''(walks up to the Chum Bucket doors)'' Splat. ''(sobs. End of clips. Karen is laughing)'' Karen?! |
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| − | *Patchy: That's okay. I can wait. |
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| + | *'''Karen:''' I'm sorry. That last part always makes me laugh. |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' It's just no use! |
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| − | *(Pulls out lawn chair and sits in front of the studios gate) |
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| + | *'''Karen:''' Today is the perfect day to steal the recipe. Krabs will be completely distracted by all the festivities. You can do this. |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' You really think so? |
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| − | *(Gate opens) |
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| + | *'''Karen:''' Of course, I do! Now, who's my big man? |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' Oh, Karen... |
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| − | *Patchy: Ohh, SpongeBob! |
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| + | *'''Karen:''' Come on, come on. Who's my big, strong man? |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' I am. |
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| − | *Employee: Sir, please step away from the gate. |
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| + | *'''Karen:''' That's right, now get out there and steal that recipe. |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' Yes ma'am! |
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| − | *Patchy: Awww, poopdeck. I was hoping I could ask SpongeBob to phone up some of his famous friends so we could ask them to be guests on my show. |
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| − | |||
| − | *Employee: Uhhhh. Oh, you're here for the casting department. |
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| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Yeah! |
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| − | |||
| − | *Employee: In that case, please step right inside, sir. |
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| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Yes! |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Switch to waiting room) |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Employee opens door with Patchy) |
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| − | |||
| − | *Employee: Here you are, sir. Please wait here while you wait. |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Patchy sits on sofa) |
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| − | |||
| − | *Employee: Can I get you anything, sir? |
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| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Yeah. A shrimp cocktail. |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Employee gets one from outside) |
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| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Oooohhh. Now that's what I call service. |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Employee smiles) |
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| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: With a smile! |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Employee closes door revealing title card: Truth or Square) |
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* |
* |
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| + | *---Patchy Segment--- |
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| − | ==SpongeBob== |
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| − | |||
| − | *(SpongeBob's, Patrick's and Squidward's house) |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Gary sleeping until alarm clock starts ringing cause a domino effect of a line of clocks) |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Line reaches to SpongeBob's fog horn clock makes it spew out more alarm clocks) |
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| − | |||
| − | *(SpongeBob turns off all the clocks) |
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| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Goooooooooood morning, Gary! |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Gary meows annoyed) |
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| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: A little overboard? And take a chance of being late for single greatest day of my career? The eleventy-seventh anniversary of the Krusty Krab? I think not.No self-respecting employee would be late on this day. |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Alarm clocks lead into Squidward's house) |
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| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: What the? |
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| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: See you at the big event, Squidward! |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Alarm hits him in the back) |
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| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob (to Gary): Can you believe it's been eleventy-seven years already? |
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| − | |||
| − | *Gary: (meows annoyed) |
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| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Huh? Watch the pottymouth, Gar. Today is a day of gentle reflection. (sighs) I remember my first visit to the Krusty Krab. |
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| − | |||
| − | *(flashback) |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Mr. and Mrs. SquarePants walk to the Krusty Krab) |
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| − | |||
| − | *Mr. SquarePants: I don't know. This doesn't look like a family restaurant. |
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| − | |||
| − | *Mrs. SquarePants: Well what do you think, baby? Would you like to eat here? |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Baby SpongeBob pushes his mom into the Krusty Krab) |
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| − | |||
| − | *Mrs. SquarePants: Well ok then. What would you like? |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Baby SpongeBob looks out her bellybutton and sees the menu) |
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| − | |||
| − | *Baby SpongeBob: Krabby Patty! |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Mr. and Mrs. SquarePants eat their krabby patties) |
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| − | |||
| − | *Baby SpongeBob: Mmmmmmmmmmmmm! Yummy! |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Pulls umbilical cord off and sucks on it.) |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Flashback ends) |
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| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Good times. |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Alarm clock goes off) |
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| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Oh, sorry Gary. We could talk later, but I got to get ready! |
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| − | |||
| − | *(SpongeBob runs while Gary hisses at alarm clock) |
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| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: (SONG) I never thought that I would have a chance like this. What dreams exist as big as this one? If happiness are patties frying on the grill, I'll have my fill upon each fresh bun. Here's a day that couldn't get much better. It is the greatest that's ever been. It's so cool I ought'a wear a sweater, just to hold on to that warm feelin'. A miracle is something that you don't believe, you will receive, and then it happens. This is what I have to call a miracle: My heart is full and toes are tappin', here's a day that couldn't get much better. It is the greatest that's ever been. It's so cool I ought'a wear a sweater, just to hold on to that warm feelin'. Sure, I know it's gonna take a lot of work. But here's the perk, I think I must say: When you're doing something that you really love, and so proud of, then work is like play. Here's a day that couldn't get much better, It is the greatest that's ever been. It's so cool I ought'a wear a sweater, just to hold on to that warm feelin'. |
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* |
* |
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| + | *''(outside the Krusty Krab)'' |
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| − | ==Patchy== |
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| + | *'''Crowd:''' ''(chanting)'' We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! |
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| − | *(Back at Nicktoons Studios...) |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Now to add some special anniversary deals to the menu. ''(adds a zero to the end of the prices)'' |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Krabby Patty... 20 bucks. 39 bucks. 30. ''(cackles)'' Oh, number zero, how I love you so. SpongeBob! |
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| − | *(Patchy sits in a office) |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Yes, sir? |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm putting you in charge of decorations. |
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| − | *Patchy: Security, more shrimp cocktail for casting please, thank you. |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, but Mr. Krabs! |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yes, boy? |
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| − | *(Devil Potty appears) |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' I thought you said I would be in charge of decorations. |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' What? But you are. |
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| − | *DP: Look Patchy, a rolling address book. Why it's probably full of celebrity phone numbers. You don't need SpongeBob, you can call them yourself. Go on. Have a look. |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' I am? Yay! Yeah! Yeah! |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Squidward, I had chores for you but you won't do 'em anyway. |
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| − | *(Patchy is about to touch it until Angel Potty appears) |
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| + | *'''Squidward:''' It only took you eleventy-seven years to figure that out? |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Here's your budget, boy. ''(hands SpongeBob two quarters)'' Decorate it anyway you want. |
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| − | *AP: That's private property, Patchy. |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Wow! 50 cents! |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' You're letting SpongeBob decorate? Remember all the other times SpongeBob decorated? |
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| − | *DP: Don't listen to him. Don't you want your TV show to have big name guest stars? |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob, Squidward, & Mr Krabs:''' Hmm... ''(flashback)'' |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' ''(western theme)'' Yee-haw! ''(braying laugh. Now 70s disco theme)'' Do you come here often? ''(laughs. Now space theme. The kitchen window sucks everything in. End flashback)'' |
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| − | *Patchy: Yeah. |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, you want to do it then? |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' No. |
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| − | *DP: Then do it! |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Then shut your porthole. |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' Battening down the word hatches, sir. ''(SpongeBob begins to decorate the Krusty Krab with pink toilet paper, ketchup and mustard, and Krabby Patty balloons)'' |
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| − | *AP: Don't do it, Patchy! |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Your change, sir. |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Good work, boy. What, that's it? Decorations, check. Security? ''(Patrick takes Squidward and pushes him against the wall again)'' Check. |
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| − | *DP: Come on, do it! Do it! |
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| + | *'''Crowd:''' We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Okay, open your ears. These people have come from miles around because they love my patties. I want every employee on their best behavior. |
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| − | *Patchy: I shall. |
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| + | *'''Squidward:''' Are you getting any of this, SpongeBob? |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Every word, Squidward, every word. |
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| − | *(Both disappear as he grabs it with his hook) |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' So let's get out there and sell some Krabby Patties! |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Yes! Yeah! Ooh, I almost forgot! Mr. Krabs, wait! There's one more decoration! |
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| − | *Patchy: (mumbles) Rosario Dawson! |
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| + | *''(Group walks to freezer)'' |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' I present to you... ''(tries to open door but can't. Tries again)'' I present to you... ''(breaks off the handle which knocks out Squidward. Door opens and Mr. Krabs and Squidward gasp)'' |
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| − | *(Switch to her reading a book until her phone rings) |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' ...my ode to the Krabby Patty made entirely out of ice. ''(ice sculpture of a Krabby Patty is shown)'' |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Geez, boy. This thing's enormous. |
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| − | *Rosario: Hello? |
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| + | *'''Squidward:''' And cold. ''(shivers)'' |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Alright, let's get this thing out of here. Me customers are waiting. |
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| − | *Patchy: Hello, Rosario. (in bad breath) |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Ready? Set? |
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| − | |||
| + | *''(SpongeBob slips, flies out of the freezer, back into the freezer, shutting the door and locking it. Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and Patrick scream)'' |
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| − | *Rosario: (smells Patchy's bad breath) Aw, goodness. |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Guys, I'm okay. No need to scream. |
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| − | |||
| + | *''(Squidward and Krabs run over SpongeBob and Patrick to get to door. They pound with the door locked on them while no one hears)'' |
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| − | *Patchy: It's Patchy the Pirate, president of the SpongeBob fan club. |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Oh no, Patrick, stand up! We're locked in! This is going to spoil the eleventy seventh anniversary! |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Crowd:''' ''(chanting)'' We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! ''(Squidward and Mr. Krabs are banging on the freezer door)'' |
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| − | *Rosario: (plugs her nose) |
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| + | *'''Squidward:''' Somebody! Anybody! I don't care who! |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' How are we going to get out? |
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| − | *Patchy: I'm throwing a TV Show-tecular and I need a celebrity in a sail, so to speak. |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Everyone calm down. I've spent a lifetime working in this restaurant and I know there's only one way out of here. |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Patrick:''' A high school diploma? |
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| − | *Rosario: Ok, you need is some mouthwash, that's what you need. |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' No, the air duct. ''(everyone climbs up the Krabby Patty ice sculpture and into the air vent)'' This way, boys. All we got to is crawl through this duct. ''(multiple ways out)'' |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' Which one? There must be a least 20 ways to go. |
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| − | *Patchy: I was wondering if you wanted to be my special guest. |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Not to worry, Squidward. I have the entire map memorized. ''(shows a map on his back)'' |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Uh, hmm, uh... |
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| − | *(Rosario hangs up) |
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| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Hurry up, guys, this kinda hurts. |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, according to the map, we just go straight, take a right between these three moldy tree stumps. Then towards that kidney bean-shaped puddle of gravy. |
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| − | *(Patchy get a dial tone and hangs up) |
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| + | *'''Squidward:''' That's not the map, you old barnacle. Those are three moles and a birthmark! |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh. Alright, then let's try this one. ''(goes through an air duct and into a tiny pipe)'' |
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| + | *'''Squidward:''' It's this way. |
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| + | *'''Patrick:''' Here it is. ''(everyone crashes into a dead end)'' |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hey, what's this? ''(picks up an old Krabby Patty wrapper)'' It's a old Krabby Patty wrapper. Ahh, that takes me back to the good old days. ''(flashback with a Krusty Krab commercial)'' |
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* |
* |
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| + | *--Start Krabby Patty Commercial-- |
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| − | ==SpongeBob== |
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| − | *(SpongeBob |
+ | *''(baby SpongeBob watching TV)'' |
| + | *'''50's Announcer:''' And now a word from our sponsor. |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Singers:''' K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y! Krabby Patty give em' a try! |
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| − | *(crashes into a line-up) |
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| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Come on down and buy, buy, buy! |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Singers:''' Not just one or two or three, but enough for the whole family. |
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| − | *Random Fish: Hey, hey! Chill out, buddy! We all want to get in to the Krusty Krab as you do. |
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| + | *'''50's Announcer:''' Yes, folks! nine out of ten doctors recommend eating at least one Krabby Patty a day to maintain a healthy lifestyle and youthful, positive attitude. |
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| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs ''(in a doctor outfit)'':''' I'm a doctor, as far as you know, and I believe Krabby Patties add years to your life. So what are you waiting for? Go out a get yourself a Krabby Patty. Or buy a sack full of patties. Or better yet, go out and get yourself a case of the Krabbies. For your health. |
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| − | *(SpongeBob looks at how far the line is) |
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| + | *'''Singers:''' K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y! Krabby Patty! ''(baby SpongeBob walks into the Krusty Krab and eats a Krabby Patty that young Squidward gives him. He's in love with it)'' |
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| − | |||
| + | *--End Krabby Patty Commercial-- |
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| − | *SpongeBob: But, I don't have time to get in line. Sorry, but I can't be late today. |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Starts jumping on the people in the line-up) |
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| − | |||
| − | *People: Hey! |
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| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Sorry, everyone. But Mr. Krabs needs me. |
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| − | |||
| − | *(keeps jumping until he is at the Krusty Krab then slides under the doors and jumps into Mr. Krabs' arms) |
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| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Reporting for duty, sir. |
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| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Sit down, boys. |
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| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Happy eleventy seventh, Squidward! |
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| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Today is a big day for the Krusty Krab, so I want you to listen up. |
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| − | |||
| − | *(presses red button which activates lockout, all windows get shielded by metal which gets Squidward's attention) |
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| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: It's the perfect opportunity for Plankton to try to steal the Krabby Patty formula. |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Pulls on a table which brings up a holographic projector and projects a picture of the Krusty Krab) |
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| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: Isn't that just a picture of the Krusty Krab? |
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| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: No. It's a holographic projection of the Krusty Krab. I want you two to watch all the entrances. |
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| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: You mean the front and the back door? |
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| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: And those are just the ones on the surface. |
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| − | |||
| − | *(pushes button to show tunnels under the Krusty Krab) |
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| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: There's an entire network of tunnels and air ducts underground. And I want all eyes on the little one. |
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| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Eye, eye Mr. Krabs. (lots of eyes start appearing on SpongeBob) |
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| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Right. Study this map. Stay extra careful. Don't fall asleep on the job! That means you Squidward. |
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| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: What? I have never fallen asleep on duty! |
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| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Don't make me have a flashback. |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Flashback starts, clips of Squidward sleeping, flashback ends) |
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| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: Alright, point taken. |
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| − | |||
| − | *(Mr. Krabs turns off projector) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: And to help watch out for Plankton, I've hired some extra security. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Patrick comes and does a fist clap) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: You hired Patrick? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: What? You expect me to spend money on a real security guard? You're my first line of defense, Patrick. So look out for any suspicious character. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patrick: Yes, sir. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Looks and pushes Squidward against the wall) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patrick: Who are you and who are you working for? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Plankton doesn't have a chance! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Bubble animation switches to the Chum Bucket) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Plankton: It's a conspiracy, I tell ya! 1003 times I've almost had that recipe and 1003 times I've been launched by that Krabs! He celebrates eleventy-seven years of success and I'm left with 4 score and 44 nights of failure! I give up, Karen. Krabs has won! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Karen: Well, you'll never get the formula with that attitude. Maybe 1004 will be your lucky number. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Plankton: Oh, you try getting launched! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Karen: Alright, the launchings. I've got them all on my harddrive. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Clips of Mr. Krabs launching Plankton in various ways, Karen giggles) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Plankton: Karen! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Karen: I'm sorry! That last part always makes me laugh! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Plankton: It's just no use! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Karen: Today is the perfect day to steal the recipe! Krabs will be completely distracted by all the festivities! You can do this! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Plankton: You really think so? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Karen: Of course, I do! Now, who's my big man? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Plankton: Awwww, Karen! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Karen: Come on, come on! Who's my big strong man? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Plankton: (sighs) I am. (giggles) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Karen: That's right, now get out there and steal that recipe! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Plankton: Yes, Ma'am! |
||
* |
* |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' ''(sighs)'' Back then, a Krabby Patty only cost a dime. ''(crumples up the wrapper)'' It was a dark and evil time. I still have nightmares. |
||
| − | ==Patchy== |
||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' ''(sobs)'' We'll never get out of here! |
||
| − | *(Patchy flips through address book) |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Don't worry, Squidward, we'll find our way out. And then we'll have the best eleventy-seventh anniversary ever. All we have to do stick together. |
||
| − | |||
| + | *''(crawling through a new air duct, Patrick is breathing heavily on Squidward)'' |
||
| − | *Patchy: Hey, LeBron! How's the dribbling? |
||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' Stop breathing on my neck. Yuck. |
||
| − | |||
| + | *''(Patrick holds his breath then let's it out and spits all over Squidward's face)'' |
||
| − | *LeBron James: Hey, Patchy! What's up? |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hey, I think I see the exit. |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ahh, barnacles. It's just the surveillance room. |
||
| − | *Patchy: How would you, LeBron James, like to be a guest on the fan club special for SpongeBob? |
||
| + | *''(SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward walk in)'' |
||
| − | |||
| − | * |
+ | *'''SpongeBob:''' Oh! My house is on TV. |
| + | *'''Squidward:''' All of our houses are on TV. ''(Mr. Krabs sneaks off)'' |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Gary:''' ''(jumping on SpongeBob's bed)'' Meow! Meow! Meow! |
||
| − | *Patchy: Oh, come on! The season hardly even started yet! |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Gary the Snail, you get down from that bed this instant. |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Patrick:''' Hey, there's my house. ''(his TV is still on)'' |
||
| − | *LeBron: Huh? |
||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' You left your TV on. |
||
| − | |||
| − | * |
+ | *'''Patrick:''' Well, duh! I don't want to miss my shows. |
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Look, it's Sandy! ''(she's brushing her teeth)'' |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' Mr. Krabs, why do you have cameras watching us? |
||
| − | *LeBron: I got a contract, man. I have to go. |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, uh... uh... uh... I just want to make sure you all floss after every meal. |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Thank you Mr. Krabs. Dental hygiene is very, very important. |
||
| − | *Patchy: Oh, contract; smontract. We got parting gifts! |
||
| + | *'''Patrick:''' ''(pointing to a TV)'' Hey, who are those guys? |
||
| − | |||
| + | *''(TV shows backs of SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs)'' |
||
| − | *LeBron: Dude, I got to go. (hangs up) |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' I think it's us Patrick. ''(turns around and points to a camera crew)'' But who are they? ''(the two cameramen escape through the air duct)'' |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Crowd on TV:''' ''(chanting)'' We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! |
||
| − | *Patchy: This casting business is harder than 40 years of barnacle build-up! |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Me customers are getting antsy! |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Crowd:''' We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! ''(Plankton enters the Krusty Krab through a vent but falls through a hole inside)'' |
||
| − | *(Begins flipping through the address book again) |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' We're getting warm. I can feel it. |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' That might just be my hand, Mr. Krabs. |
||
| − | *Patchy: Ok, time to get serious. |
||
| + | *''(Group sees crossroads)'' |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hmm, a crossroads. I'll go this way and SpongeBob, you lead them down that way. ''(Then Mr. Krabs follows the path on the right.)'' |
||
| − | *(Tina Fey picks up the phone in her office) |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Lead them? I can finally use my leader hat and my lederhosen! |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Patrick:''' Nice. |
||
| − | *Tina: Hello? |
||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' Those are just sock garters, you idiot. |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Follow me. |
||
| − | *Patchy: Ahoy, Tina! |
||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' This is not happening, it's just not happening. ''(Mr. Krabs takes the right path and the others take the left)'' |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Guys, it's a dead-end. ''(push through the end of the vent and fall, screaming)'' |
||
| − | *Tina: Who is this? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Patchy. The Pirate! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Tina: I don't know any pirates anymore. Are you sure you have the right number? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Listen, us bad soul sisters gotta stick together, eh? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Tina: Sure? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Great! Cause I'm throwing a huge extravaganza for SpongeBob SquarePants! And I'd love it if you would come down and sing a song for us! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Tina: Well, I'm not much of a singer but I love SpongeBob! Who else is going to be performing? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Well, SpongeBob for one will be on the show. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Tina: Oh, Tom Kenny, the voice of SpongeBob? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Who? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Tina: Well, you said SpongeBob was going to be on the show. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: That's right! The little sponge is our guest of honor! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Tina: But he's a cartoon, so you mean the guy that does the voice, right? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Listen, Ms. Turner. Let me handle the guests. You stick to your singing and dancing. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Tina: Ms. Turner? This isn't Tina Turner, this is Tina Fey. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Who? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Tina hangs up) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Hello, hello? Hello, Tina? You better be good to me! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(flips through address book again, Will Ferrell is exercising until his cell phone rings) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Will: Yeah, who's calling me? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Hey, Will! It's Patchy the Pirate, president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club in Encino and I'm throwing a little TV special for him. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Will: Oh, really? Cause I'm president of the SpongeBob fan club Tarzana chapter and I'm throwing a TV show too, now get lost! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: What? You can't do that! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Will: Can I? And guess when I'm doing it. I'm gonna wrap your mind around it cause guess what? My show gonna be a lot better. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Doubt it. Who are your guests? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Will: You name it, we've got it. Hollywood stars, musical people, singers, jugglers, a guy who does things with knifes. Do you have that? Who do you have? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Hang on to your hat. Sir Quatin and Mr. Tinder. Ever heard of that? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Will: What? The world's fifth best ventriloquist and his wooden sidekick? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: Of course, silly. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Will: No way! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Patchy laughs) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Will: Ok, you win this time. But you just wait for the 20th, cause I will come at you, harder and faster. (Will hangs up) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patchy: (mumbles) 20th anniversary. Whatever. |
||
* |
* |
||
| + | *---Patchy Segment--- |
||
| − | ==SpongeBob== |
||
| − | *(Crowd gathers by the Krusty Krab shouting: " We want Krabby Patties!") |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Now to add some special anniversary deals to the menu! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Adds 0 onto the prices) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty; $20.00 bucks. 39 bucks. 30. (laughs) Oh, number zero. How I love you so. SpongeBob! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(SpongeBob runs in) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Yes, sir? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: I'm putting you in charge of decorations. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: (sighs) But Mr. Krabs! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Yes, boy? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: I thought you said I'd be in charge of decorations! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: What? But you are! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: I am? Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Uhh, I had chores for you but you won't do them anyway. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: It only took you eleventy-seven years to figure that out. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Mr. Krabs pulls out quarters) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Here's your budget, boy. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Gives SpongeBob 50 cents) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Decorate it anyway you want. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Wow. 50 cents! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: You're letting SpongeBob decorate? Remember all the other times SpongeBob decorated? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Squidward, SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs "hmmmmmmmmmmm" as flashbacks begin shows Krusty Krab in western theme) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob from kitchen: Yeeeehaw! (laughs) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Shows Krusty Krab in 70's disco theme) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob from kitchen: Do you come here often? (laughs) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Shows Krusty Krab in space theme, kitchen windows suck everything into space. Squidward screams while SpongeBob grills patties in space and laughs.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Flashbacks ends) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: (to Squidward) You want to it then? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: No. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Then shut your porthole. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: Batten down the word hatches, sir. (Walks away) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(SpongeBob smiles as he begins decorating. Runs in bathroom as he uses pink toilet paper as streamers. Wraps pillars and ribbons tables with it. Bow ties Patrick and Squidward. Also ribbons windows edges with toilet paper. Uses ketchup and mustard for words on banner. Also uses it for decorating doorways and table tops. Uses air pump to inflate Krabby Patties for balloons on the ceiling and tables. Floats down to Mr. Krabs and hands back 50 cents.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Your change, sir. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Good work, boy. What, that's it? Decorations, check. Security? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Patrick attacks Squidward as he comes out of the washroom.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Check. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Crowd outside chants "We want Krabby Patties!" over and over.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: (to everyone) Ok, open your ears. These people have come for miles around because they love my patties. I want every employee on their best behavior. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: Are you getting any of this, SpongeBob? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Every word, Squidward. Every word. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: So let's get out there and sell some Krabby Patties! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Yeahhhhhhhh! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Oh! I almost forgot! Mr. Krabs, wait! There's one more decoration! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Group walks to freezer) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: I present to you........... (tries to open door) (in frustrated tone) I present to you.......... (pulls off handle which knocks out Squidward) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Door opens. Krabs and Squidward and gasp.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: My ode to the Krabby Patty. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Shows an ice sculpture of a Krabby Patty) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Made entirely out of ice. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Yeesh, boy. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Walks to statue) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: This thing enormous. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: And cold. (Shivers) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Alright. Let's get this thing out of here. Me customers are waiting. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Ready, set, (groans as he pulls while Patrick, Krabs and Squidward push on other side.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(SpongeBob's hands slip from statue as he launches himself out of the freezer, off the wall and accidentally closing the door with the wind of him flying.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Krabs and Squidward: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (Patrick joins in) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Guys, I'm okay. No need to scream. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Squidward and Krabs run over SpongeBob and Patrick to get to door. They pound with the door locked on them but no one hears.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Oh no! Patrick, stand up! We're locked in! this is going to spoil the eleventy seventh anniversary! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Switch to black screen) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Return to crowd chanting "We want Krabby Patties!" outside. Then to Squidward and Krabs pounding on freezer door.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: How are we going to get out? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Everyone calm down! I've spent a lifetime working in this restaurant and I know there's only one way out of here. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patrick: A high school diploma? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: No. (points to vent) The air duct. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Group climbs up statue to vent and starts to crawl through it.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: This way, boys! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Patrick crushes Squidward on his way in) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: All we got to is crawl through this duct. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Points to room with multiple ducts.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: Which one? There must be a least 20 ways to go! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Not to worry, Squidward. I have the entire map memorized. (Begins to think real hard as the map starts to show on his back.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Uhhhhh, hmmm. Uhhhh. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Hurry up, guys. This kinda hurts. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Well, according to the map, we just go straight, take a right between these 3 moldy tree stumps. Then towards that kidney bean shaped puddle of gravy. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: That's not the map, you old barnacle! Those are 3 moles and a birthmark! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Oh. Alright, then let's try this one. (Points to random duct) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Groups falls in small tank) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: It's this way! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patrick: Here it is! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Everyone: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Groups squeeze in pipe and fall into dead end.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Mr. Krabs groans) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Hey. What's this? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Picks up old Krabby Patty wrapper.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: It's a old Krabby Patty wrapper. Awwwwwwww. That takes me back to the good old days. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Flashback starts with a baby SpongeBob watching TV when a commercial comes on.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Announcer: And now a word from our sponsor! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Chorus: K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y! Krabby Patties! Give em' a try! Come on down and buy, buy, buy! Not just one or two or three, but enough for the whole family! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Announcer: Yes, folks! 9 out of 10 doctors recommend at least one Krabby Patty a day to maintain a healthy lifestyle and youthful, positive attitude! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs (in a doctor outfit): I'm a doctor. As far as you know, and I believe Krabby Patties add years to your life! So what are you waiting for? Go out a get yourself a Krabby Patty! Or buy a sack full of patties! Or better yet, go out and buy a case of the Krabbies! For your health. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Chorus: K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y-! Krabby Patty! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Switch to baby SpongeBob walking down to the Krusty Krab and getting a patty with his mom and dad and loving his first bite. Back to the group stuck in the air duct.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Ahhhhhh. Back then, a Krabby Patty only cost a dime. (crushes ad) It was a dark and evil time. I still have nightmares. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: We'll never get out of here! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Don't worry Squidward. We'll find our way out. And then we'll have the best eleventy-seventh anniversary ever! All we have to do stick together! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Groups crawls close together in new duct, Patrick breathes heavy behind Squidward) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: Stop breathing on my neck! Blah! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Patrick starts to hold his breath. Then after a couple seconds then he spits all over Squidward.) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Hey! I think I see the exit! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Mr. Krabs opens door to a security room) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Ahh, barnacles. It's just the surveillance room. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(SpongeBob, Patrick and Squiward walk in) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Whoa! My house is on TV! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: All of our houses are on TV! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Mr. Krabs starts to sneak away) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(One TV shows Gary jumping on SpongeBob's bed) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Gary: Meow! Meow! Meow! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Gary the Snail, you get down from that bed this instance! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patrick: Hey, there's my house! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(TV shows Patrick's living room with his TV still on) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: You left your TV on. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patrick: Well, duh. I don't want to miss my shows. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Look, it's Sandy! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(TV shows Sandy brushing her teeth) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Sandy: Ahhhh. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: Mr. Krabs, why do you have cameras watching us? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr. Krabs: Ummm, well, uhhhhhhhhh. I.. just want to make sure floss after every meal. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *SpongeBob: Thank you Mr. Krabs. Dental hygiene is very very important. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patrick: Hey! (points to tv) Who are those guys? |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(TV shows backs of SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Spongebob: I think it's us Patrick. (Spongebob turns around and points to camera crew) But who are they?! (The camera crew flees using the vent canal) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Crowd(on TV): We want Krabby Patties! (2x) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr.Krabs: (Mr.Krabs turns around and sees that his customers are chanting they want Krabby Patties) My customers are getting antsy! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(The camera goes to the live scene where the customers are chanting "We want Krabby Patties. Then the camera pans to Plankton in the crowd then he goes inside a vent tube in the Krusty Krab's perimeter. When he goes in he walks a little not looking in front of him then he immediately falls down a hole and bumps into a seris of turns and corners. Then we go back to the group currently still looking for an exit) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr.Krabs: We're getting warm,I can feel it. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Spongebob: That might just be my hand Mr.Krabs. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Then the group see that there are crossroads) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Mr Krabs: Hmm,a crossroads (Mr.Krabs points to the right road) I'll go this way and Spongebob (Mr.Krabs points to the left road)You lead them down that way. (Then Mr.Krabs goes to the to the right road) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Spongebob: Lead them? I can finally use my leader hat! (Yodele song plays) (Then Spongebob points to his hairy leg) And my leader hosen! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Patrick: Nice. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: Those are just sock garters,you idiot. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Spongebob: Follow me! |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Then the group goes to the left road) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Squidward: This is not happening,it's just not happening. (Yodel song ends) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Then the camera goes to Mr.Krabs going to the right road then to Spongebob's group going to the left road) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Then Spongebob's group hits a dead end then squish each other) |
||
| − | |||
| − | *Spongebob: Guys,it's a dead end. |
||
| − | |||
| − | *(Then the group breaks the dead end then they they fall down saying AHHHHH!!!) |
||
* |
* |
||
| + | *''(Plankton falls into a large vent)'' |
||
| − | ==Patchy Scene== |
||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' Thank Neptune that's over. ''(SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward fall on top of Plankton)'' SpongeBob! Why must you always ruin my plans? |
||
| − | *(We see Patchy still looking for other celebrities) |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Plankton! You're trying to steal the Krabby Patty recipe again. |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' Uh, I didn't... uh... Okay, fine. You caught me. You happy now? |
||
| − | *Patchy: Hey! I went to Blackbeard Polly Technique with this guy! He has to be on my show. According to the pirate's code. |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' You know, this reminds me of the time Mr. Krabs confided in me the Krabby Patty recipe. Oh, I don't want to bore you with my silly old stories. |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' Oh, you couldn't possibly bore me. |
||
| − | *(Phone rings for Craig Ferguson) (Ferguson picks up phone) |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Well, okay. Mr. Krabs called me into his office. ''(start flashback)'' |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob, you've been working here a while now. So I think I can trust you. It's time I told you. |
||
| − | *Ferguson: Hello? |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' ''(screams and gasps)'' You mean? |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yes, the Krabby Patty formula. Follow me, son We need to go where no one else will ever hear us. ''(they go out of Bikini Bottom, across a forest, desert, in a storm, across a bridge, up a mountain, and into some open area before they are tired)'' Ugh, we finally made it. Quick, into me office before anyone sees us! ''(stop flashback)'' |
||
| − | *Patchy: (In bad Scottish accent) Is this Cap'n Craig, son of Ferg? |
||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' What? You just went in a circle. Why didn't you just stay at the Krusty Krab? |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' We wanted to make sure we weren't followed. Then Mr. Krabs leaned close and whispered the recipe. |
||
| − | *Ferguson: Oh hey, Patchy the Pirate. |
||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' Yes? Go on. ''(start flashback again)'' |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Now remember, you can never tell another living soul. |
||
| − | *Patchy: How's me old Blackbeard Collage room mate? |
||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' Wait, wait. Hold on! |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' ''(in thought bubble)'' Why's that? |
||
| − | *Ferguson: Listen it would be great plunging down memory rapids with you, but I'm kinda busy right now. |
||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' My pen is out of ink! ''(works again)'' Okay, okay, go ahead. |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' ''(in thought bubble)'' Plankton. ''(grabs him)'' You'll never get me formula. Not even in a flashback. ''(laughs as he sends Plankton through a vent. Plankton screams)'' |
||
| − | *(Servant of Ferguson comes in and asks which bagel he likes from the plate. He chosses one, then the servant leaves.) |
||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, if you had never come to Bikini Bottom, this wouldn't be happening. |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Squidward, what's with the creepy smile? |
||
| − | *Patchy: Listen Fergalicious, I was hoping I could get you to appear on my Spongebob Fan Club 10th year anniversary show tonight. |
||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' I was just... remembering the world before SpongeBob. ''(start flashback. Squidward gets out of bed happily and waters the ground. Pink flowers pop up)'' |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Flowers:''' Morning, Squidward. ''(Squidward goes into the Krusty Krab and looks through the kitchen window at the cook)'' |
||
| − | *Ferguson: Uh no no, that's not gonna work for me. |
||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' Good morning, not SpongeBob. ''(kisses the cook. Flashback ends)'' |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' ''(braying laugh)'' But, Squidward, you're glad I moved in. Remember that day? ''(start flashback where SpongeBob and a real estate agent is looking at different houses. A pineapple from a boat, above shore, falls into the ocean)'' |
||
| − | *Patchy: Oh, you have to. It's in the pirates code. |
||
| + | *'''Janice:''' Well, okay, that's every available house in Bikini Bottom. ''(Squidward is working on his garden)'' |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' My secret garden is finally done. ''(the giant pineapple falls on Squidward. He cuts out a door)'' |
||
| − | *Ferguson: Arrr. |
||
| + | *'''Janice:''' Oh, yeah, I forgot about that one. |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' It's beautiful. I'll take it! ''(walks up to Squidward)'' Hi, neighbor! I'm SpongeBob SquarePants. ''(hugs Squidward)'' And we're going to be bestest friends. ''(Patrick walks up)'' Hey, Patrick. Guess who just moved in right next door? |
||
| − | *Patchy: Arrr! |
||
| + | *'''Patrick:''' Neighbor hug! ''(group hug)'' |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Crowd:''' ''(in the distance chanting)'' We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! |
||
| − | *Ferguson: Arrrrr. |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' ''(gasps)'' What's that sound? ''(looks through a little hole in the building)'' Customers. |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Crowd:''' ''(chanting)'' We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want to spend money. |
||
| − | *Patchy: Arrrrr! |
||
| + | *'''Fish #2:''' ''(using megaphone)'' What do we want? |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Crowd:''' Krabby Patties! |
||
| − | *Ferguson: Garrrrrrrr! |
||
| + | *'''Fish #2:''' ''(using megaphone)'' What do we welcome? |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Crowd:''' To spend money! |
||
| − | *Patchy: Mr. Bigshot. Mr. TV. No time for your old pirate school buddies anymore. |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, no. All that loose change out there. ''(talks out wallet)'' It's driving me wallet mad with money lust. ''(his wallet barks and pants)'' Poor little guy's starving. ''(puts wallet through the hole)'' There you go, boy. You're free. Go towards the money, boy. Towards the money! |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Wallet Fish:''' ''(picks up wallet)'' Hey, a wallet! And there's fifty bucks in it! All right! |
||
| − | *Ferguson: That's right, Patchy. I got my own TV network show now. |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hey! Oh, no! ''(crying)'' What am I gonna do? We gotta get out of here. Now! |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Oh. If only Sandy was here. She could help us. |
||
| − | *Patchy: Oh great. So who's on your big fancy, schmancy TV show tonight? |
||
| + | *'''Patrick:''' Oh! Maybe we could use this. ''(takes out walkie-talkie)'' I borrowed it from Sandy's treedome. It might be our way out of here. Shh! Everybody quiet! ''(yells)'' Hey, Sandy, I got your radio! If you want it back, come and get it! She'll come. |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' Oh, give me that. ''(takes walkie-talkie)'' Sandy, come in, Sandy. |
||
| − | *Ferguson: Actually, we've got a real A-lister tonight. Robin Williams is on. |
||
| + | *'''Sandy:''' Sandy Cheeks here. So it was you who stole my other radio, Squidward. |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' What? No, I'm just-- |
||
| − | *Patchy: (Stars appear on Patchy's eyes) Robin Williams! (Patchy gasps) (Stars disappear) Gotta go Fergo! (Patchy hangs up) |
||
| + | *'''Patrick:''' ''(screams)'' Sandy's trapped in that box! ''(destroys radio. Squidward growls)'' |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' ''(sighs)'' Remember the day Sandy and I got married? ''(everyone gasps)'' |
||
| − | *Ferguson: (Ferguson puts down phone) Where's my bagel? BAGEL!!! |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' What? |
||
| − | |||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' No. |
||
| − | *Patchy: Thanks for the tip Ferguson! (maniacaly laughs) |
||
| + | *'''Patrick:''' I'm freaking out! |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Mm-hmm. ''(start flashback. Mrs. Puff is playing the wedding march on the organ. Sandy marches down the aisle in her wedding dress)'' |
||
| + | *'''Priest:''' Friends, we have gathered here today these two hearts in the bonds of love. SpongeBob, do you take Sandy as your lawfully wedded wife? |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' I do. |
||
| + | *'''Priest:''' And, Sandy, do you take SpongeBob as your lawfully wedded husband? |
||
| + | *'''Sandy:''' And how! |
||
| + | *'''Priest:''' Well, then, I now pronounce you sponge and squirrel. You may kiss the bride. ''(tries to but a light falls from above)'' |
||
| + | *'''Theater Fish #1:''' Boo! You stink! |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Worst play I've ever seen. ''(opens exit doors)'' And a total rip-off! |
||
| + | *'''Theater Fish #2:''' What has happened to the theater? ''(everyone exits)'' |
||
| + | *'''Priest:''' I didn't know this was a play. |
||
| + | * |
||
| + | *---Patchy Segment--- |
||
| + | * |
||
| + | *'''Crowd:''' ''(chanting)'' We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' And we didn't even get to celebrate the Krusty Krab's eleventy-seventh anniversary. We missed what could've been the greatest party ever. |
||
| + | *'''Patrick:''' Hmm. You guys ready to give up? |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yes. |
||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' Yes. |
||
| + | *'''Patrick:''' And I'll just write down myself down here for giving up, too... Uh, SpongeBob? |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' No, Patrick, I don't want to give up. |
||
| + | *'''Patrick:''' Ooh, I know! Let's just say our tearful farewells and solemn last words. |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' I didn't make any money. ''(sobs)'' |
||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' I never made anyone sick with envy. ''(cries)'' |
||
| + | *'''Patrick:''' I didn't get to sleep in this morning. ''(sobs)'' |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Guys, we can't give up now. We got into this mess together, and we'll get out of it the same way. |
||
| + | *'''Patrick:''' Through the freezer? |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' No, by using our heads. |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' To concoct an elaborate escape plan? |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' ''(gasps)'' No. ''(snaps fingers)'' As a battering ram. ''(rips off some of the metal and puts it around the other three and tries a few times to rip through an air duct)'' Okay, this is the one. Feel very god about this. Okay, ready? ''(they tear through the air duct and into the main part of the Krusty Krab)'' |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, boy, we made it out! Woo-hoo! Money! Money! Money! Money! ''(opens the doors)'' Come on in, folks. No need to shove. Plenty of room for all your money. Ay-yi... ''(no one is there)'' Where are all me customers? They left...with all their money?! ''(sobs)'' |
||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' We went through all of that for nothing? |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, it wasn't for nothing, Squidward. I spent the whole day with my best friends. You, Squidward. And you, Patrick. |
||
| + | *'''Patrick:''' What now? |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' And let's not forget the man who made it all possible--Mr. Krabs. What could be better? |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Money! |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' ''(sings)'' Oh! |
||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' Oh, no. He's not going to sing. |
||
| + | * |
||
| + | *------------------------------------------------ |
||
| + | *''(in the tune of "Oh, Christmas Tree")'' |
||
| + | * |
||
| + | *Oh, Krusty Krab, oh, Krusty Krab, |
||
| + | *Oh, how I love you, Krusty Krab. |
||
| + | * |
||
| + | *Your Krabby Patties from the grill |
||
| + | *The smell of grease gives me a thrill |
||
| + | *Oh, Krusty Krab, oh, Krusty Krab |
||
| + | *Oh, how I love you, Krusty Krab. |
||
| + | * |
||
| + | *With prices high and portions small, |
||
| + | *There are stains of mustard on the wall |
||
| + | *Oh, Krusty Krab, oh, Krusty Krab |
||
| + | *Oh, how I love you, Krusty Krab. |
||
| + | * |
||
| + | *''(chorus humming)'' |
||
| + | * |
||
| + | *Oh, Krusty Krab, oh, Krusty Krab |
||
| + | *Oh, how I love ya, Krusty Krab. |
||
| + | * |
||
| + | *Oh, Krusty Krab, oh, Krusty Krab |
||
| + | *Oh, how I love you, Krusty Krab. |
||
| + | *------------------------------------------------ |
||
| + | * |
||
| + | *'''Squidward:''' Mr. Krabs, look. |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Me customers? SpongeBob's dopey little song is bringing them back. |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, Krusty Krab, you've always been there for me. When I'm tired and hungry, I just reach out my hand and there you are with a Krabby Patty that's all so hot and juicy. Are you with me people?! |
||
| + | *'''All:''' Yeah! |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' I said, are you with me people?! |
||
| + | *'''All:''' Yeah! |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' In that case, let's get some Krabby Patties! |
||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' ''(inside)'' There's no one here. The Krusty Krab is empty. I've won! The Krabby formula is mine! ''(runs towards the door with the formula)'' It took eleventy-seven years, but I got it! ''(notices the crowd coming)'' Oh, no. No! ''(gets kicked a lot)'' Oh, nuts. |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' Did somebody order a Krabby...whoa! ''(balances on the Krusty Krab formula bottle)'' Oh, look out! Oh! Oh, oh. Coming through. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. ''(sets tray on table)'' |
||
| + | *'''Customers:''' Yay! |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ah...'tis a beautiful sight. It warms me heart. ''(gasps as the formula bottle rolls up)'' Me Krabby Patty recipe! What's it doing out here? Whoa-ho! Should have known. Plankton. |
||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' Hey, Krabs. Uh, happy eleventy-seven? ''(Mr. Krabs peels him off the bottle)'' |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' It's launching time. |
||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' Please, Krabs, no! I can't take it anymore! No more launching, please?! |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, all right. Since I'm in such a good mood, I'll go easy on you this time. ''(blows up Plankton like a balloon and lets him go)'' There. Happy landings, Plankton! |
||
| + | *'''Plankton:''' You know, this isn't so bad. Everyone looks like little ants from up here. ''(laughs)'' Wait. Help. |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Stay away from the high tension wires. ''(customer walks up. Mr. Krabs opens up the door)'' Allow me to open the door for a valued customer. |
||
| + | *'''Wallet Fish:''' Thanks, Mister. Today must be my lucky day. I found a wallet with fifty bucks in it. |
||
| + | *'''Mr. Krabs:''' Wow, that's some coincidence 'cause I lost one earlier today with fifty bu...! Hey! Wait a minute. Come back with me wallet, you thievin' bilge rat. |
||
| + | *'''SpongeBob:''' ''(flipping patties)'' Happy anniversary, Krusty Krab. ''(laughs)'' |
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[[Category:Episode transcripts]] |
[[Category:Episode transcripts]] |
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[[Category:Season 6 transcripts]] |
[[Category:Season 6 transcripts]] |
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Revision as of 22:06, 17 January 2015
Template:Broken transcript
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"Spon... Spo... Spo...!"
This SpongeBob SquarePants episode transcript is incomplete. You can help Encyclopedia SpongeBobia by adding new content to the page. |
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Template:EpisodeTr/123-124
- (SpongeBob runs out of his pineapple and down the street only to run into the back of a long line)
- Fish: Hey, hey! Chill out, buddy. We all want to get into the Krusty Krab as much as you do.
- SpongeBob: (notices how long the line is) But I don't have time to get in line. Sorry, but I can't be late today. (starts jumping on top of peoples heads) Sorry, everyone, but Mr. Krabs needs me. (annoyed murmur as SpongeBob continues to jump on their heads. He then slides under the Krusty Krab doors and jumps into Mr. Krabs' arms) Reporting for duty, sir.
- Mr. Krabs: Sit down, boy.
- SpongeBob: Happy eleventy-seven,Squidward!
- Mr. Krabs: Today is a big day for the Krusty Krab. So I want yous to listen up. (pushes a red button that puts the Krusty Krab on lockdown) It's the perfect opportunity for Plankton to try to steal the Krabby Patty formula. (pulls on a latch on a table that pulls up a holographic image of the Krusty Krab)
- Squidward: Isn't that just the Krusty Krab?
- Mr. Krabs: No, it's a holographic projection of the Krusty Krab. I want you two to watch all the entrances.
- Squidward: You mean the front and the back door?
- Mr. Krabs: Those are just the ones on the surface. (pushes a button to reveal tunnels under the Krusty Krab) There's an entire network of tunnels and air ducts underground. And I want all eyes on the lookout!
- SpongeBob: Aye, aye Mr. Krabs. (eyes start appearing on SpongeBob's holes)
- Mr. Krabs: Right. Study this map. Stay extra vigilant. Don't fall asleep on the job. That means you, Squidward. What? I have never fallen asleep on duty.
- Mr. Krabs: Don't make me have a flashback. (flashbacks of Squidward sleeping everywhere in the Krusty Krab)
- Squidward: All right, point taken. (Mr. Krabs turns off projector)
- Mr. Krabs: And to help watch out for Plankton, I've hired some extra security. (Patrick comes into the light and smacks his fist)
- Squidward: You hired Patrick?
- Mr. Krabs: What, you expect me to spend money on a real security guard? You're my first line of defense, Patrick. So look out for any suspicirous characters.
- Patrick: Yes, sir. (looks around and pushes Squidward against a wall)
- Patrick: Who are you? And who are you working for?!
- Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Plankton doesn't have a chance. (cut to the Chum Bucket)
- Plankton: It's a conspiracy, I tell you! 1003 times I've almost had that recipe, and 1003 times I've been launched by that Krabs! He celebrates eleventy-seven years of success, and I'm left with four score and forty fortnights of failure! I give up, Karen. Krabs has won!
- Karen: Well, you'll never get the formula with that attitude. Maybe 1004 will be your lucky number.
- Plankton: Oh, yeah? You try getting launched!
- Karen: Oh, right, the launchings, I've got them all on my hard-drive. (Karen plays multiple clips of Mr. Krabs throwing, tossing, hitting Plankton on the front of the Chum Bucket. One where Mr. Krabs sets Plankton on the ground)
- Mr. Krabs: I'm tired today, Plankton. You're just gonna have to launch yourself.
- Plankton: (walks up to the Chum Bucket doors) Splat. (sobs. End of clips. Karen is laughing) Karen?!
- Karen: I'm sorry. That last part always makes me laugh.
- Plankton: It's just no use!
- Karen: Today is the perfect day to steal the recipe. Krabs will be completely distracted by all the festivities. You can do this.
- Plankton: You really think so?
- Karen: Of course, I do! Now, who's my big man?
- Plankton: Oh, Karen...
- Karen: Come on, come on. Who's my big, strong man?
- Plankton: I am.
- Karen: That's right, now get out there and steal that recipe.
- Plankton: Yes ma'am!
- ---Patchy Segment---
- (outside the Krusty Krab)
- Crowd: (chanting) We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties!
- Mr. Krabs: Now to add some special anniversary deals to the menu. (adds a zero to the end of the prices)
- Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty... 20 bucks. 39 bucks. 30. (cackles) Oh, number zero, how I love you so. SpongeBob!
- SpongeBob: Yes, sir?
- Mr. Krabs: I'm putting you in charge of decorations.
- SpongeBob: Oh, but Mr. Krabs!
- Mr. Krabs: Yes, boy?
- SpongeBob: I thought you said I would be in charge of decorations.
- Mr. Krabs: What? But you are.
- SpongeBob: I am? Yay! Yeah! Yeah!
- Mr. Krabs: Squidward, I had chores for you but you won't do 'em anyway.
- Squidward: It only took you eleventy-seven years to figure that out?
- Mr. Krabs: Here's your budget, boy. (hands SpongeBob two quarters) Decorate it anyway you want.
- SpongeBob: Wow! 50 cents!
- Squidward: You're letting SpongeBob decorate? Remember all the other times SpongeBob decorated?
- SpongeBob, Squidward, & Mr Krabs: Hmm... (flashback)
- SpongeBob: (western theme) Yee-haw! (braying laugh. Now 70s disco theme) Do you come here often? (laughs. Now space theme. The kitchen window sucks everything in. End flashback)
- Mr. Krabs: Well, you want to do it then?
- Squidward: No.
- Mr. Krabs: Then shut your porthole.
- Squidward: Battening down the word hatches, sir. (SpongeBob begins to decorate the Krusty Krab with pink toilet paper, ketchup and mustard, and Krabby Patty balloons)
- SpongeBob: Your change, sir.
- Mr. Krabs: Good work, boy. What, that's it? Decorations, check. Security? (Patrick takes Squidward and pushes him against the wall again) Check.
- Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties!
- Mr. Krabs: Okay, open your ears. These people have come from miles around because they love my patties. I want every employee on their best behavior.
- Squidward: Are you getting any of this, SpongeBob?
- SpongeBob: Every word, Squidward, every word.
- Mr. Krabs: So let's get out there and sell some Krabby Patties!
- SpongeBob: Yes! Yeah! Ooh, I almost forgot! Mr. Krabs, wait! There's one more decoration!
- (Group walks to freezer)
- SpongeBob: I present to you... (tries to open door but can't. Tries again) I present to you... (breaks off the handle which knocks out Squidward. Door opens and Mr. Krabs and Squidward gasp)
- SpongeBob: ...my ode to the Krabby Patty made entirely out of ice. (ice sculpture of a Krabby Patty is shown)
- Mr. Krabs: Geez, boy. This thing's enormous.
- Squidward: And cold. (shivers)
- Mr. Krabs: Alright, let's get this thing out of here. Me customers are waiting.
- SpongeBob: Ready? Set?
- (SpongeBob slips, flies out of the freezer, back into the freezer, shutting the door and locking it. Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and Patrick scream)
- SpongeBob: Guys, I'm okay. No need to scream.
- (Squidward and Krabs run over SpongeBob and Patrick to get to door. They pound with the door locked on them while no one hears)
- SpongeBob: Oh no, Patrick, stand up! We're locked in! This is going to spoil the eleventy seventh anniversary!
- Crowd: (chanting) We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! (Squidward and Mr. Krabs are banging on the freezer door)
- Squidward: Somebody! Anybody! I don't care who!
- SpongeBob: How are we going to get out?
- Mr. Krabs: Everyone calm down. I've spent a lifetime working in this restaurant and I know there's only one way out of here.
- Patrick: A high school diploma?
- Mr. Krabs: No, the air duct. (everyone climbs up the Krabby Patty ice sculpture and into the air vent) This way, boys. All we got to is crawl through this duct. (multiple ways out)
- Squidward: Which one? There must be a least 20 ways to go.
- SpongeBob: Not to worry, Squidward. I have the entire map memorized. (shows a map on his back)
- Mr. Krabs: Uh, hmm, uh...
- SpongeBob: Hurry up, guys, this kinda hurts.
- Mr. Krabs: Well, according to the map, we just go straight, take a right between these three moldy tree stumps. Then towards that kidney bean-shaped puddle of gravy.
- Squidward: That's not the map, you old barnacle. Those are three moles and a birthmark!
- Mr. Krabs: Oh. Alright, then let's try this one. (goes through an air duct and into a tiny pipe)
- Squidward: It's this way.
- Patrick: Here it is. (everyone crashes into a dead end)
- Mr. Krabs: Hey, what's this? (picks up an old Krabby Patty wrapper) It's a old Krabby Patty wrapper. Ahh, that takes me back to the good old days. (flashback with a Krusty Krab commercial)
- --Start Krabby Patty Commercial--
- (baby SpongeBob watching TV)
- 50's Announcer: And now a word from our sponsor.
- Singers: K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y! Krabby Patty give em' a try!
- Mr. Krabs: Come on down and buy, buy, buy!
- Singers: Not just one or two or three, but enough for the whole family.
- 50's Announcer: Yes, folks! nine out of ten doctors recommend eating at least one Krabby Patty a day to maintain a healthy lifestyle and youthful, positive attitude.
- Mr. Krabs (in a doctor outfit): I'm a doctor, as far as you know, and I believe Krabby Patties add years to your life. So what are you waiting for? Go out a get yourself a Krabby Patty. Or buy a sack full of patties. Or better yet, go out and get yourself a case of the Krabbies. For your health.
- Singers: K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y! Krabby Patty! (baby SpongeBob walks into the Krusty Krab and eats a Krabby Patty that young Squidward gives him. He's in love with it)
- --End Krabby Patty Commercial--
- Mr. Krabs: (sighs) Back then, a Krabby Patty only cost a dime. (crumples up the wrapper) It was a dark and evil time. I still have nightmares.
- Squidward: (sobs) We'll never get out of here!
- SpongeBob: Don't worry, Squidward, we'll find our way out. And then we'll have the best eleventy-seventh anniversary ever. All we have to do stick together.
- (crawling through a new air duct, Patrick is breathing heavily on Squidward)
- Squidward: Stop breathing on my neck. Yuck.
- (Patrick holds his breath then let's it out and spits all over Squidward's face)
- Mr. Krabs: Hey, I think I see the exit.
- Mr. Krabs: Ahh, barnacles. It's just the surveillance room.
- (SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward walk in)
- SpongeBob: Oh! My house is on TV.
- Squidward: All of our houses are on TV. (Mr. Krabs sneaks off)
- Gary: (jumping on SpongeBob's bed) Meow! Meow! Meow!
- SpongeBob: Gary the Snail, you get down from that bed this instant.
- Patrick: Hey, there's my house. (his TV is still on)
- Squidward: You left your TV on.
- Patrick: Well, duh! I don't want to miss my shows.
- SpongeBob: Look, it's Sandy! (she's brushing her teeth)
- Squidward: Mr. Krabs, why do you have cameras watching us?
- Mr. Krabs: Oh, uh... uh... uh... I just want to make sure you all floss after every meal.
- SpongeBob: Thank you Mr. Krabs. Dental hygiene is very, very important.
- Patrick: (pointing to a TV) Hey, who are those guys?
- (TV shows backs of SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs)
- SpongeBob: I think it's us Patrick. (turns around and points to a camera crew) But who are they? (the two cameramen escape through the air duct)
- Crowd on TV: (chanting) We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties!
- Mr. Krabs: Me customers are getting antsy!
- Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! (Plankton enters the Krusty Krab through a vent but falls through a hole inside)
- Mr. Krabs: We're getting warm. I can feel it.
- SpongeBob: That might just be my hand, Mr. Krabs.
- (Group sees crossroads)
- Mr. Krabs: Hmm, a crossroads. I'll go this way and SpongeBob, you lead them down that way. (Then Mr. Krabs follows the path on the right.)
- SpongeBob: Lead them? I can finally use my leader hat and my lederhosen!
- Patrick: Nice.
- Squidward: Those are just sock garters, you idiot.
- SpongeBob: Follow me.
- Squidward: This is not happening, it's just not happening. (Mr. Krabs takes the right path and the others take the left)
- SpongeBob: Guys, it's a dead-end. (push through the end of the vent and fall, screaming)
- ---Patchy Segment---
- (Plankton falls into a large vent)
- Plankton: Thank Neptune that's over. (SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward fall on top of Plankton) SpongeBob! Why must you always ruin my plans?
- SpongeBob: Plankton! You're trying to steal the Krabby Patty recipe again.
- Plankton: Uh, I didn't... uh... Okay, fine. You caught me. You happy now?
- SpongeBob: You know, this reminds me of the time Mr. Krabs confided in me the Krabby Patty recipe. Oh, I don't want to bore you with my silly old stories.
- Plankton: Oh, you couldn't possibly bore me.
- SpongeBob: Well, okay. Mr. Krabs called me into his office. (start flashback)
- Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you've been working here a while now. So I think I can trust you. It's time I told you.
- SpongeBob: (screams and gasps) You mean?
- Mr. Krabs: Yes, the Krabby Patty formula. Follow me, son We need to go where no one else will ever hear us. (they go out of Bikini Bottom, across a forest, desert, in a storm, across a bridge, up a mountain, and into some open area before they are tired) Ugh, we finally made it. Quick, into me office before anyone sees us! (stop flashback)
- Plankton: What? You just went in a circle. Why didn't you just stay at the Krusty Krab?
- SpongeBob: We wanted to make sure we weren't followed. Then Mr. Krabs leaned close and whispered the recipe.
- Plankton: Yes? Go on. (start flashback again)
- Mr. Krabs: Now remember, you can never tell another living soul.
- Plankton: Wait, wait. Hold on!
- Mr. Krabs: (in thought bubble) Why's that?
- Plankton: My pen is out of ink! (works again) Okay, okay, go ahead.
- Mr. Krabs: (in thought bubble) Plankton. (grabs him) You'll never get me formula. Not even in a flashback. (laughs as he sends Plankton through a vent. Plankton screams)
- Squidward: SpongeBob, if you had never come to Bikini Bottom, this wouldn't be happening.
- Mr. Krabs: Squidward, what's with the creepy smile?
- Squidward: I was just... remembering the world before SpongeBob. (start flashback. Squidward gets out of bed happily and waters the ground. Pink flowers pop up)
- Flowers: Morning, Squidward. (Squidward goes into the Krusty Krab and looks through the kitchen window at the cook)
- Squidward: Good morning, not SpongeBob. (kisses the cook. Flashback ends)
- SpongeBob: (braying laugh) But, Squidward, you're glad I moved in. Remember that day? (start flashback where SpongeBob and a real estate agent is looking at different houses. A pineapple from a boat, above shore, falls into the ocean)
- Janice: Well, okay, that's every available house in Bikini Bottom. (Squidward is working on his garden)
- Squidward: My secret garden is finally done. (the giant pineapple falls on Squidward. He cuts out a door)
- Janice: Oh, yeah, I forgot about that one.
- SpongeBob: It's beautiful. I'll take it! (walks up to Squidward) Hi, neighbor! I'm SpongeBob SquarePants. (hugs Squidward) And we're going to be bestest friends. (Patrick walks up) Hey, Patrick. Guess who just moved in right next door?
- Patrick: Neighbor hug! (group hug)
- Crowd: (in the distance chanting) We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties!
- Mr. Krabs: (gasps) What's that sound? (looks through a little hole in the building) Customers.
- Crowd: (chanting) We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want to spend money.
- Fish #2: (using megaphone) What do we want?
- Crowd: Krabby Patties!
- Fish #2: (using megaphone) What do we welcome?
- Crowd: To spend money!
- Mr. Krabs: Oh, no. All that loose change out there. (talks out wallet) It's driving me wallet mad with money lust. (his wallet barks and pants) Poor little guy's starving. (puts wallet through the hole) There you go, boy. You're free. Go towards the money, boy. Towards the money!
- Wallet Fish: (picks up wallet) Hey, a wallet! And there's fifty bucks in it! All right!
- Mr. Krabs: Hey! Oh, no! (crying) What am I gonna do? We gotta get out of here. Now!
- SpongeBob: Oh. If only Sandy was here. She could help us.
- Patrick: Oh! Maybe we could use this. (takes out walkie-talkie) I borrowed it from Sandy's treedome. It might be our way out of here. Shh! Everybody quiet! (yells) Hey, Sandy, I got your radio! If you want it back, come and get it! She'll come.
- Squidward: Oh, give me that. (takes walkie-talkie) Sandy, come in, Sandy.
- Sandy: Sandy Cheeks here. So it was you who stole my other radio, Squidward.
- Squidward: What? No, I'm just--
- Patrick: (screams) Sandy's trapped in that box! (destroys radio. Squidward growls)
- SpongeBob: (sighs) Remember the day Sandy and I got married? (everyone gasps)
- Mr. Krabs: What?
- Squidward: No.
- Patrick: I'm freaking out!
- SpongeBob: Mm-hmm. (start flashback. Mrs. Puff is playing the wedding march on the organ. Sandy marches down the aisle in her wedding dress)
- Priest: Friends, we have gathered here today these two hearts in the bonds of love. SpongeBob, do you take Sandy as your lawfully wedded wife?
- SpongeBob: I do.
- Priest: And, Sandy, do you take SpongeBob as your lawfully wedded husband?
- Sandy: And how!
- Priest: Well, then, I now pronounce you sponge and squirrel. You may kiss the bride. (tries to but a light falls from above)
- Theater Fish #1: Boo! You stink!
- Mr. Krabs: Worst play I've ever seen. (opens exit doors) And a total rip-off!
- Theater Fish #2: What has happened to the theater? (everyone exits)
- Priest: I didn't know this was a play.
- ---Patchy Segment---
- Crowd: (chanting) We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties!
- SpongeBob: And we didn't even get to celebrate the Krusty Krab's eleventy-seventh anniversary. We missed what could've been the greatest party ever.
- Patrick: Hmm. You guys ready to give up?
- Mr. Krabs: Yes.
- Squidward: Yes.
- Patrick: And I'll just write down myself down here for giving up, too... Uh, SpongeBob?
- SpongeBob: No, Patrick, I don't want to give up.
- Patrick: Ooh, I know! Let's just say our tearful farewells and solemn last words.
- Mr. Krabs: I didn't make any money. (sobs)
- Squidward: I never made anyone sick with envy. (cries)
- Patrick: I didn't get to sleep in this morning. (sobs)
- SpongeBob: Guys, we can't give up now. We got into this mess together, and we'll get out of it the same way.
- Patrick: Through the freezer?
- SpongeBob: No, by using our heads.
- Mr. Krabs: To concoct an elaborate escape plan?
- SpongeBob: (gasps) No. (snaps fingers) As a battering ram. (rips off some of the metal and puts it around the other three and tries a few times to rip through an air duct) Okay, this is the one. Feel very god about this. Okay, ready? (they tear through the air duct and into the main part of the Krusty Krab)
- Mr. Krabs: Oh, boy, we made it out! Woo-hoo! Money! Money! Money! Money! (opens the doors) Come on in, folks. No need to shove. Plenty of room for all your money. Ay-yi... (no one is there) Where are all me customers? They left...with all their money?! (sobs)
- Squidward: We went through all of that for nothing?
- SpongeBob: Oh, it wasn't for nothing, Squidward. I spent the whole day with my best friends. You, Squidward. And you, Patrick.
- Patrick: What now?
- SpongeBob: And let's not forget the man who made it all possible--Mr. Krabs. What could be better?
- Mr. Krabs: Money!
- SpongeBob: (sings) Oh!
- Squidward: Oh, no. He's not going to sing.
- ------------------------------------------------
- (in the tune of "Oh, Christmas Tree")
- Oh, Krusty Krab, oh, Krusty Krab,
- Oh, how I love you, Krusty Krab.
- Your Krabby Patties from the grill
- The smell of grease gives me a thrill
- Oh, Krusty Krab, oh, Krusty Krab
- Oh, how I love you, Krusty Krab.
- With prices high and portions small,
- There are stains of mustard on the wall
- Oh, Krusty Krab, oh, Krusty Krab
- Oh, how I love you, Krusty Krab.
- (chorus humming)
- Oh, Krusty Krab, oh, Krusty Krab
- Oh, how I love ya, Krusty Krab.
- Oh, Krusty Krab, oh, Krusty Krab
- Oh, how I love you, Krusty Krab.
- ------------------------------------------------
- Squidward: Mr. Krabs, look.
- Mr. Krabs: Me customers? SpongeBob's dopey little song is bringing them back.
- SpongeBob: Oh, Krusty Krab, you've always been there for me. When I'm tired and hungry, I just reach out my hand and there you are with a Krabby Patty that's all so hot and juicy. Are you with me people?!
- All: Yeah!
- SpongeBob: I said, are you with me people?!
- All: Yeah!
- SpongeBob: In that case, let's get some Krabby Patties!
- Plankton: (inside) There's no one here. The Krusty Krab is empty. I've won! The Krabby formula is mine! (runs towards the door with the formula) It took eleventy-seven years, but I got it! (notices the crowd coming) Oh, no. No! (gets kicked a lot) Oh, nuts.
- SpongeBob: Did somebody order a Krabby...whoa! (balances on the Krusty Krab formula bottle) Oh, look out! Oh! Oh, oh. Coming through. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. (sets tray on table)
- Customers: Yay!
- Mr. Krabs: Ah...'tis a beautiful sight. It warms me heart. (gasps as the formula bottle rolls up) Me Krabby Patty recipe! What's it doing out here? Whoa-ho! Should have known. Plankton.
- Plankton: Hey, Krabs. Uh, happy eleventy-seven? (Mr. Krabs peels him off the bottle)
- Mr. Krabs: It's launching time.
- Plankton: Please, Krabs, no! I can't take it anymore! No more launching, please?!
- Mr. Krabs: Oh, all right. Since I'm in such a good mood, I'll go easy on you this time. (blows up Plankton like a balloon and lets him go) There. Happy landings, Plankton!
- Plankton: You know, this isn't so bad. Everyone looks like little ants from up here. (laughs) Wait. Help.
- Mr. Krabs: Stay away from the high tension wires. (customer walks up. Mr. Krabs opens up the door) Allow me to open the door for a valued customer.
- Wallet Fish: Thanks, Mister. Today must be my lucky day. I found a wallet with fifty bucks in it.
- Mr. Krabs: Wow, that's some coincidence 'cause I lost one earlier today with fifty bu...! Hey! Wait a minute. Come back with me wallet, you thievin' bilge rat.
- SpongeBob: (flipping patties) Happy anniversary, Krusty Krab. (laughs)