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Treats! (transcript)

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General
Season №: 8
Episode №: 174a
Airdate: April 10, 2012
Chronology
Previous: Demolition Doofus
Next: For Here or to Go
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode, "Treats!" from season eight, which aired on April 10, 2012.

  • [in the Krusty Krab]
  • SpongeBob: Hi Squidward! What'cha watchin'?
  • News Reporter: We'll be right back.
  • SpongeBob': Oh, it's a commercial.
  • Commercial: They're new! They're...Snail Bites!
  • SpongeBob: Ooooh.
  • Squidward: Here, I'll change the channel.
  • SpongeBob: Don't change the channel!
  • Commercial: [a bite is taken out of the "Snail Bites" logo with a crunching sound] Snail Bites. [manlier voice] SNAIL BITES!
  • Male Fish In Commercial: Snail Bites. [gives snack to begging snail]
  • Female Fish In Commercial: Snail Bites. [gives snack to begging snail] Snail Bites.
  • [another bite is taken out of the "Snail Bites" logo with a crunching sound]
  • Male Fish In Commercial: [snail is licking man's face] Snail Bites.
  • Commercial: Snail Bites.
  • Female Fish In Commercial: Snail Bites. [throws snack behind her and kicks it into the snail's mouth]
  • Male Fish In Commercial: [throws snack into distance for the snail to catch, snack comes back around and so does the snail, catching the snack] Snail Bites.
  • Commercial: They're new. Snail Bites!
  • Female Fish In Commercial: [gives snail a treat and kisses the snail] Snail Bites.
  • Commercial: [box explodes releasing treats] SNAIL BITES!
  • Female and Male Fish In Commercial: Your snail will go nuts for Snail Bites... and so will you.
  • [box explodes again]
  • Commercial: [speedy] Snail Bites.
  • SpongeBob: Did you see that, Squidward? [Squidward appears to be gone] Snail Bites.
  • [at SpongeBob's house]
  • SpongeBob: Gary, I'm home! [closes door] Oh, Gary! You've got a big surprise coming to you.
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Snail Bites. [holds up box, rips open top and then shakes box]
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: It smells good? [reaches in and gives Gary a Snail Bite]
  • Gary: [cheerfully] Meow!
  • SpongeBob: Does somebody want another Snail Bite? [holds up another treat] Can somebody roll over? [whisphers quickly] Roll over.
  • [Gary rolls over from body to shell to back to shell and pants like a dog. SpongeBob gives Gary another Snail Bite. SpongeBob then walks away.]
  • SpongeBob: We'll have some more of these a little later. [Gary races in front of him]
  • Gary: Meow
  • SpongeBob: More treats?
  • Gary: Meow Meow Meow
  • SpongeBob: Well, I can't say no to my wittle Gare-Bear [SpongeBob takes out a treat and Gary jumps up and eats it]
  • [Scene cuts to Gary picking up a ball and throwing it. SpongeBob gives him a treat. Then we see Gary jumping on 5 trampolines, going into a tunnel, and rolling down a slide. SpongeBob gives Gary another treat. The scene then pans over to Gary doing archery and SpongeBob gives another Snailbite. They walk away from the target. We now see Gary lifting a 500 pound weight with his eyes and SpongeBob gives him a snailbite. Then Gary goes bowling and knocks all the pins over. SpongeBob then gives him a treat. Gary then jumps out of a plane and pull out the parachute. As he lands, SpongeBob gives him another treat. Gary then pulls a red curtain to reveal a marble sculpture and SpongeBob gives him a treat for it. Gary then performs a famous Houdini trick by being bind in a straight jacket and dunked in a tank of water where he struggles to escape. The scene cuts to SpongeBob watching this act and Gary comes to him as SpongeBob gives him a snailbite. Gary then does a motorcycle stunt by driving over buses and going through a ring of fire. SpongeBob gives Gary another treat as he lands on the last ramp.]
  • [The scene cuts to SpongeBob's house where Gary wants more treats from SpongeBob]
  • Gary: Meow meow meow meow
  • SpongeBob: Gary, that's an awful lot of Snail Bites for one evening. Are you sure you want more? {He sees Gary on a unicycle humming a kazoo while spinning a hula hoop} Well, I suppose one more couldn't hurt. [He reaches into the Snailbites box, but he finds nothing] Whoops, looks like that was the last of them Gary. We're all out. [He gets up and yawns] It's probably for the best. I'm getting pretty tired anyway. I think I'll skip my nightly motivational exercise and go to straight to bed.
  • Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow! (Gary looks into empty box but cant find anything)
  • Gary: (crawls up onto SpongeBob in bed) Meow, meow, meow, meow!
  • SpongeBob: Gary, please! (Puts pillow over his head, but Gary crawls into it and continues meowing)
  • Gary: Meow, meow, meow!
  • SpongeBob: Gary Wilson, Junior., I promise you we will get more treats tomorrow! Now, please, let me (yawns) sleep. (Goes back to bed)
  • Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!
  • SpongeBob: (gets out of bed) Gary! It is 4:00 in the morning! What exactly do you want from me?! (Gary uses slime to spell TREATS on wall)
  • Gary: Meow. (To pet store)
  • SpongeBob: Gary, this is ridiculous! See? The pet store won't be open for hours. Not to mention it's freezing out here! Can't we just go home and come back in the morning?
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: I just can't say no to my little Gare-Bear. (SpongeBob lies down on ground to go to sleep) Good night, Gary. (yawns) See ya in the morning! (Tries to continue sleeping, but Gary keeps meowing until morning) (Harold comes to the door)
  • SpongeBob: Excuse me!
  • Harold: Please! I'm just the floor manager! The cashier won't be here for another hour!
  • SpongeBob: Do you have any Snail Bites?! We need some Snail Bites.
  • Gary: Meow!
  • Harold: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Those sold out almost immediately! (Opens door and goes into store)
  • Gary: Meeeeeeooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (SpongeBob sighs and leaves) (Bubble transition to SpongeBob's house)
  • SpongeBob: (yawns) Ok, Gary, I'm off to the Krusty Krab! (Grabs work hat) Hope your day is as fun-filled as mine! Whoa! Gary?! (Gary shows up at door, holding an empty box of Snail Bites in his teeth) Yes, so, I will see you tonight, Gary. (Tries to open door, but Gary growls every time he tries to) Gary, is that a box of Snail Bites in your teeth? He, he. That's funny, because I think I just saw a half-full box in the kitchen. (Gary runs for the kitchen, while SpongeBob leaves the house) (Bubble transition to the Krusty Krab) (SpongeBob hums while flipping patties on grill)
  • Gary: Meow! (SpongeBob looks outside to notice that Gary is in the Krusty Krab)
  • Fish: Normally, I'm so shy, but... (Gary crawls up on customer and knocks down her food)
  • Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!
  • SpongeBob: Gary, what are you doing here? You're causing a scene!!! (Everyone in Krusty Krab stops what they're doing and stares at SpongeBob)
  • Gary: Meow!
  • SpongeBob: I know, you want more Snail Bites. But the pet store was completely sold out of them!
  • Gary: Meow!
  • SpongeBob: I know, Gary...
  • Gary: Meow!
  • SpongeBob: Gary, I just said the pet store was completely sold out of Snail Bites! What am I supposed to do?!
  • Nat Peterson: Well, you can try going to the factory where they make them.
  • SpongeBob: (picks up Gary and leaves) Thanks a lot. (Bubble transition to factory) You're what?!
  • Factory Worker: We're closed! Do I have to spell it out for you? C-S-L-O-S-Z-E-D. Cuh-losed! Not only that, but the very last box of Snail Bites shipped out days ago! They were such a hit they flew out of the stores and now, we've run out of ingredients! From what I hear, the owner even dropped out of the pet food business entirely! Yeah, I mean, why wouldn't he, huh? He's made his money!
  • SpongeBob: You see, Gary? There are no more...
  • Factory Worker: I mean, it's not like I wouldn't do the same thing if I were in his shoes!
  • SpongeBob: So, you see, Gary, there...
  • Factory Worker: Why would anybody go around punishing themselves, just for the sake of the happiness of a few pets or...
  • SpongeBob: Would you mind being quiet for one second, please!
  • Factory Worker: Sorry.
  • SpongeBob: Gary, they're completely sold out. There are no more Snail Bites left in the entire world and there never will be!
  • Gary: Meow!
  • SpongeBob: What do you want me to do, Gary?! Travel the Earth, checking every pet store in existence to see if they happen to have a box of Snail Bites left? Is that what you want?!
  • Gary: Meow! (SpongeBob and Gary begin going on an expedition to various pet stores, but none of the stores have Snail Bites)
  • Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!
  • SpongeBob: Gary, take a look at this map. (Opens a map with landmarks on it) This is a map of every pet store in the entire world! We've been to every single one of them, Gary! And not one of them has the treats you are after! Not one! I can't keep looking, Gary. I just can't.
  • Gary: Meow, meow, meow! (Bubble transition to SpongeBob's house) Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!
  • Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! Your snail's still meowing?! I have experience with these situations. You're the sponge. He is the snail. You just have to say "no" in a very firm voice!
  • SpongeBob: But I don't want to say no to my wittle Gare-Bear! I want him to be happy!
  • Patrick: Well, you gotta be firm, SpongeBob! Sometimes, you have to no when to say know. Oh, wait, wait, wait, it's the other way around. You have to know when to say "no". Yeah, that's it!
  • SpongeBob: But I don't know how to say no, Patrick!
  • Patrick: No problem, SpongeBob! You can practice on me! Pretend I'm Gary and tell me "no".
  • SpongeBob: (grunts) I can't! You're so cute!
  • Patrick: (pants like a dog) Do it, SpongeBob! (continues panting) (SpongeBob keeps grunting) Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
  • SpongeBob: No.
  • Patrick: Stop it!! (cries and goes back to rock)
  • Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow!
  • SpongeBob: Gary, this won't be easy, but the time has come when I must say nnnnnee, nnnn..Oh, Gary, It's a photo, it's a framed photo of the moment I picked you up at the pound. (Takes photo and looks at it) I remember that day like it was yesterday. Oh, and a photo of the time you built me a castle made of glitter and lollipops. (Sniffles) Gary, this is the most special...Oh. Nice try, Gary.
  • Gary: Meow!
  • SpongeBob: Gare-Bear, we looked everywhere! There are no more Snail Bites! I'm sorry, Gary, but the answer is...no. (Gary meows and goes back into house to take a nap, leaving SpongeBob surprised that he won't have to get distracted again. Cuts to Patrick's rock when he finished the very last box.}
  • Patrick: This last known box of Snail Bites sure is delicious! (Notices the box is empty) Hey! It's empty! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! (Episode ends)

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