Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
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Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Toy Store of Doom" from season 6, which aired on March 17, 2009.

  • [SpongeBob and Patrick are relaxing on Squidward's couch, both looking bored]
  • SpongeBob: Huh...Patrick?
  • Patrick: Yeah?
  • SpongeBob: Whaddya wanna do today?
  • Patrick: I don't know.
  • SpongeBob: Well, I guess we could play something. [opens a toy chest and rummages through] How about a yo...
  • Patrick: No.
  • SpongeBob: yo. [tosses it aside] Buried treasure board game?
  • Patrick: Nah.
  • SpongeBob: Dollies?
  • Patrick: Hm..... nope. [SpongeBob holds up a ship in a bottle] No. [SpongeBob holds up a paddle ball] Nope. Nope. Uh-uh. No. Nah.
  • SpongeBob: [holding up Old Man Walker] How about this?
  • Old Man Walker: Hello.
  • Patrick: Uh-uh.
  • SpongeBob: [tosses Old Man Walker aside, then falls into the chest and re-emerges with action figures] Hey, we could play with our Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy action figures! Ew. Barnacle Boy's all chewed up. And slimy.
  • Patrick: [chewing on a Mermaid Man action figure] Yeah, that'll happen.
  • SpongeBob: [tosses Barnacle Boy aside, wipes his hand, and wades through toys] Ugh, there is just nothing to play with.
  • Patrick: There's gotta be something we can do.
  • Squidward: [walks out of the shower] Ladda-de ladd-dum ladda-do... Hey! What are you doing in my house?
  • SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward. Can you think of anything fun we can do?
  • Squidward: Get out!
  • Patrick: Well, yeah, we thought of that one.
  • Squidward: [pushes SpongeBob, Patrick, and a pile of toys out the door] I believe this pile belongs to you. [throws Old Man Walker out the door]
  • Old Man Walker: Where are we goin' now, boys?
  • [Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick walking outside, bored. Patrick slumps over so that he is pushing his head along the ground. He stops and SpongeBob walks into him.]
  • SpongeBob: [sighs]
  • Patrick: Ugh. I'm so bored. There's gotta be something we can do! [A helicopter drops a billboard that says "It's Coming!"]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [reading] It's Coming? [not reading] Oh, boy! ♪It's coming! It's coming! It's coming!♪ [follows the billboards]
  • Patrick: [reading another billboard] Almost there!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: We're almost there!
  • Patrick: [reading another billboard] Here it is!
  • SpongeBob: [reading another billboard] Welcome to Bikini Bottom's newest... [reading another billboard] Toy store?! [not reading] Ahhhhh!
  • Patrick: Ohhhhh!
  • SpongeBob: Oh yeah!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah! Whoooo!
  • SpongeBob: Well, we're here.
  • Patrick: But where's the toy store?
  • SpongeBob: Well, I guess it's not open yet.
  • Patrick: Not...open?
  • [Patrick starts to cry. SpongeBob starts crying, too. They hug each other. A crane drops the new toy store onto the ground. A construction worker comes out of the crane]
  • Construction worker: [grabs the top of Patrick's head] What are you cryin' about?
  • Patrick: We wanted to go to the toy store, but it's not open yet!
  • Construction worker: Well, it's open now. Look! [He shows two people walking in] See? Feel better now?
  • Patrick: Mm-hm.
  • Construction worker: Then quit yer cryin' and get in there! [throws Patrick into the toy store]
  • SpongeBob: I got it. [throws himself into the toy store] Patrick! Patrick, get up...
  • Patrick: Uh, no thanks. I'm good down here.
  • SpongeBob: Look. [sees lots of toys in the store] Wow! [gasp!] Patrick, look at that. [points at a cashier]
  • Patrick: Wow.
  • Steve the Cashier: Can I help you?
  • SpongeBob: That depends. Tell me. Do you like to [sings] sing?!
  • Steve: Oh, no.
  • SpongeBob: Ahem! [puts some spray in his mouth, then plays a harmonica, then begins to sing] ♪La...
  • French Narrator: Several song-filled hours later...
  • SpongeBob: ♪Toys! Glorious toys! La, la, la! Toys! Yeah!♪ Hey, Patrick.
  • Patrick: [winding a wind-up toy] Hey, SpongeBob. What’s with the tutu?
  • SpongeBob: It's not a tutu! It's a man-tu! You can tell because it has [manly voice] extra support. [normal voice] I got the last one.
  • Patrick: Uh-huh. [grunts then lets go of the wind-up toy. It rams into a fish]
  • Fish: Aaahhhhhhhhh!
  • SpongeBob: What a great day! I hope it never ends!
  • Patrick: Never!
  • Voice on loudspeaker: Attention, shoppers, the store is now closed. Please exit immediately.
  • Baby: [cries] But I don't wanna go!
  • Timmy: [is being dragged by his daddy] Dad! I want it! [runs back onto the scene but then his dad takes him back] No! [grunts] Ah!
  • SpongeBob: Aw. The store's closing. We'll have to leave now.
  • Patrick: What part of "never" don't you understand?
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, we have to leave.
  • Patrick: Huh! I'm not moving.
  • SpongeBob: But they'll just come and kick us out!
  • Patrick: Not if we hide.
  • SpongeBob: Hide? Isn't that kind of sneaky?
  • Patrick: Oh, it's sneaky alright. Really sneaky. C'mon, haven't you always wanted to have a toy store all to yourself?
  • SpongeBob: No. But I do now. What do we do first?!
  • Patrick: We need to find a hiding spot where they'll never find us. And I know just the place.
  • Guard worm: [barks and sniffs a doll house]
  • Security guard: Come on, boy. Let's go. The store is empty, so go ahead and lock 'er up, Frank.
  • Steve: My name is Steve.
  • Security guard: Whatever floats your boat, Frank.
  • Patrick: The coast is clear. [tries to get out of the doll house] Push, SpongeBob! Push! Push, man, push! [squeezes out of the doll house] Okay, SpongeBob, gimme your hand. That's my boy. Brace yourself. [pulls SpongeBob out of the doll house and pounds in the chest]
  • SpongeBob: Thanks, pal. Well, we did it. Yay! [laughs]
  • Patrick: Yay! Oh, this is so awesome.
  • SpongeBob: Nothing can ruin it!
  • [The lights turn off. SpongeBob and Patrick run through the store while screaming. They eventually crash into each other]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, is that you?
  • Patrick: What?
  • SpongeBob: I said Is that you?
  • Patrick: I can't hear you! It's too dark in here! Don't worry. I'll just use my Night Vision.
  • SpongeBob: You have Night Vision?
  • Patrick: [turns on his Night Vision] Yeah.
  • SpongeBob: How long have you had that?
  • Patrick: Remember that flashlight I shoved up my ear?
  • SpongeBob: Oh, yeah.
  • Patrick: Well, I guess it worked its way into my brain. [The flashlight burns out] Shoot! The batteries are dead! It's dark... and scary! [starts to cry]
  • SpongeBob: Calm down, buddy. We just need to find a light switch. But ya have to put me down first.
  • Patrick: Yeah. Right, SpongeBob. I let you down, we find the light switch, and everything turns all peachy!
  • SpongeBob: Yes.
  • Patrick: Look around you, SpongeBob! We're surrounded!
  • SpongeBob: By... toys?
  • Patrick: That...want...to...get us.
  • SpongeBob: [squints his eyes at toys, and they become scary] Gah! [they see scary toys] Eeeeeeee!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [the toys fall on them. They look around the pile, and see a mound of scary toys in front of them] Aaahhhhhh! [They see a shadow of a moving figure] Aaahhhh!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick continue screaming, but they get onto some skates while they run. They start to laugh, but then they bump into balls, and fall off. The shadow continues to chase them, so they hide in a gumball machine].
  • Patrick: Are we gonna hide in here for the rest of our lives?
  • SpongeBob: No.
  • Patrick: Are we going to the ladies’ room again?
  • SpongeBob: No. We're going to fight back and we are going to win!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [grab cans of bubbles, licorice ropes, and paint. They gear up and try to look like The A-Team].
  • Patrick: That was fun! Now let's dress up like fairy princesses!
  • [The shadow appears and is revealed to be the toy that Patrick had wound up earlier].
  • SpongeBob: Ready, Patrick?
  • Patrick: Let's get some!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [blow bubbles at the wind-up toy. It keeps going. They both scream.] Nothing can stop it! [both scared and cries]
  • SpongeBob: It was nice knowin' ya, pal.
  • Patrick: I know. I'm an interesting guy.
  • [The toy stops]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Whew!
  • [Patrick winds it up again]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, don't!
  • Patrick: What?
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [Both scream and they run away. Cuts to outside the Toy Barrel as kids are cheering and Steve is unlocking the doors]
  • Steve: [opens the store again] The Toy Barrel is now open for business. Prepare for more fun than you've ever had.
  • Kids: [cheering]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [run out of the store as their eyes begin to burn]
  • SpongeBob: My eyes!
  • Patrick: [holds up a little kid who stares at him blankly in bewilderment] With Neptune as my witness, may you never experience the unholy terrors that are inside that store. [instantly brightens] Hey, they're open! [runs to the store and laughs] I love toys!
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