Changes: To SquarePants or Not to SquarePants/transcript

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Template:EpisodeTr/116b

(setting starts with clouds)
Narrator: Ah. Another quiet day in Bikini Bottom. But it wasn't always this way. Once, it was horrible. (lightning strikes. A bridge wobbles as people try to get a pig across. Cut to SpongeBob's house) The unimaginable happened. One day, SpongeBob SquarePants... changed his pants! (a woman screams) I remember it as if it were yesterday. But, in fact, in happened three days ago. (calendar rewinds to three days ago. SpongeBob carries a load of his pants and puts them in the washing machine. Then walks up to Gary)
SpongeBob: It's laundry day, Gary! (takes off Gary's shell, revealing his butt) Oops. (puts Gary's shell back on then takes it off again, revealing underwear)
Gary: (crawls off) Meow.
SpongeBob: (puts the shell in the washer, closes the lid, and turns it on) Now to finish the day's chores. (vacuums, washes dishes, and dusts the TV. The phone rings) Hello?
Patrick: Hello. Uh, may I speak with SpongeBob, uh, uh... (looks at his hand and reads what's on it) ...Squaaa...re...Paaaaants?
SpongeBob: Mm, speaking.
Patrick: Hey, hey. You want to hear how long I can do this for? (monotone spluttering)
SpongeBob: Actually, Patrick, I'm kind of busy. Can it wait?
Patrick: (still going) No. (continues. SpongeBob sighs)
Narrator: Much later... (We hear Patrick making all the sound effects over phone and SpongeBob being bored. Gary slithers away)
SpongeBob: Gary, go check on the laundry in the dryer.
Gary: Meow, meow. (puts his shell back on and starts the dryer, which has all the square pants in it. Gary goes through the pet door)
Narrator: Much much later... (SpongeBob's just sitting there on his chair and Patrick is done making all the sound effects)
Patrick: A pretty long time. Huh?
SpongeBob: Yeah, Patrick. (goes into the laundry room) Gary? (opens the dryer and gasps. All his pants are tiny) They've shrunk! (puts a pair of pants on each leg) I'm gonna need to get new pants. (cut to Mall)
Clerk: I'm sorry, Mr. SpongeBob, but we're not expecting another shipment of square pants for months.
SpongeBob: Oh. (tries on some different pairs of pants) No. Nope. Ew, not these. Uh-uh. (notices a round pair of pants. Tries them on and they are a tight fit) Whoa, these pants fit my body better than my own mother! (goes out for a walk and walks past Patrick) Hey, Patrick! Notice anything different? Pose. Pose. Pose. Pose.
Patrick: Do I know you?
SpongeBob: (laughs) It's me, SpongeBob.
Patrick: SpongeBob? (looks at the drawing on his hand that says ' SquarePants') No, you're not! SpongeBob has square pants. Now, leave me alone, you mysterious stranger.
SpongeBob: Patrick is so full of tartar sauce. I'm still me. It's just a pair of pants. It's not like my friends won't recognize me.
Sandy: Well, howdy, stranger! I don't recognize you in those newfangled dungarees. (wolf whistles) You must be SpongeBob FancyPants. Clothes really do make the man!
SpongeBob: Sandy didn't recognize me either. These pants are more powerful than I thought. Course it was just Sandy, and Neptune knows what goes on inside a squirrel's head. (a real squirrel is shown looking left to right) But I know my best buddy Squidward will recognize me. We have been through so much together. (cut to SpongeBob walking up to Squidward's house, humming a tune)
Squidward: Oh, no. It's that little yellow freak.
SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward!
Squidward: Just ignore him. Maybe he'll go away.
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward! Guess who?
Squidward: Do I know you?
SpongeBob: Oh, sure you do. It's me, SpongeBob... SquarePants.
Squidward: Never seen you before in my life.
SpongeBob: Well, maybe these pictures of us together will job your memory. (picture of Squidward running away from SpongeBob is shown) Me and you at my birthday party. (picture of Squidward sleeping at work) Me and you at work. (picture of Squidward sleeping in his bed) That little slumber party we had last week. (picture of Squidward showering with the curtain closed) I forgot when this was taken.
Squidward: Is that supposed to be you? (SpongeBob sighs and walks away) I can't believe. He actually left. (laughs)
SpongeBob: Squidward didn't know me either. It's like we'd never met. Maybe Patrick is right. (can't get in his door) Oh no, it's locked. (knocks on door) Gary! Hey, Gary! Can you open the door?! I left my keys in the other pants. (Patrick opens door)
Patrick: Hello. Can I help you?
SpongeBob: Patrick, it's me, SpongeBob.
Patrick: Oh, right. You're that round pants fellow.
SpongeBob: Patrick, what are you doing in my house?
Patrick: Your house? This house belongs to SpongeBob SquarePants. At least it did before he left us. (blows nose) I wish I could see him one last time. (closes door)
SpongeBob: Oh, barnacles! I guess I'm not 'SpongeBob SquarePants' anymore. I'll have to start all over again. (cut to Krusty Krab where SpongeBob is talking to Squidward) Hello, sir. I'd like an application, please. My name is SpongeBob Sq... (coughs and grunts) Sorry, I'm a little... (coughs more) I'm a little... (grunts) I'm a little nervous. My name is SpongeBob... Roundpants. And I would like to seek employment at this eating establishment. (Squidward punches himself) Oh, dear! Are you ok, Mr. Cashier? Ooh! (picks up a stack of papers) Here are the applications. (cut to SpongeBob filling them out) Let's see here. "Name." (writes) SpongeBob RoundPants. Well, this is going well. (to Squidward) Hey, Mr. Cashier, looks like we're gonna be coworkers! (Squidward groans) Question two. "Have you ever been convicted of a felony?" Hmm, what's a felony?
Squidward: Being too darn happy all the time!
SpongeBob: Oh, yeah! Lots and lots of felonies.
Squidward: (chuckles) Moron.
Mr. Krabs: What's going on here?!
SpongeBob: I'm filling out an application.
Mr. Krabs: Get to work.
SpongeBob: (gasps) Then I got the job?!
Mr. Krabs: (annoyed) Oh boy. (cut to later)
SpongeBob: My first day on the job. I am so excited. Woo-hoo!
Squidward: Whatever.
SpongeBob: (panting) You've worked here a long time. Why don't you show this rookie the ropes?
Squidward: Oh, I'd love to.
SpongeBob: Yay! (grabs Squidward)
Squidward: But...no! Don't... (gets dragged into the kitchen)
SpongeBob: So what do I do first? (pen and notepad in hand)
Squidward: (groans) Fine. Take a Krabby Patty and put it on the grill. (does so)
SpongeBob: Shouldn't you watch it?
Squidward: Why? I don't think it's going anywhere.
SpongeBob: Ooh, very Zen. (Krabby Patty burns) What next, oh, oracle of Krabby wisdom?
Squidward: I'm going to the bathroom.
SpongeBob: Hmm, I'll go, too. (walks into the stall next to Squidward) How's it going in there, boss?
Squidward: Um... fine.
SpongeBob: (writes) Going fine. (Squidward starts snoring) Oh, Mr. Squidward... (under Squidward's stall. Squidward screams) Whatcha reading? (Squidward walks out of the bathroom and SpongeBob follows, writing stuff down) Bathroom break. Check. (cut to later)
Squidward: Here's the slop you ordered. (tosses tray of food down on customer's table) Enjoy. If you can choke it down.
SpongeBob: (writes) Be rude to customers and insult food. Nasally laugh. (cut to later where Squidward throws a bag of trash at the dumpster out back and breaks the bag open. SpongeBob does same. Squidward pats SpongeBob on the head. Cut to later)
Customer: Can I get a Krabby Patty Combo?
Squidward: No.
Customer: How about a Double Krabby?
SpongeBob: No.
Customer: Can I get a Triple Patty with soda?
SpongeBob: (nudging Squidward) Oh I think you've had way too many of those. (both laugh as customer walks off angry. Cut to another trash bag broken being thrown at the dumpster. SpongeBob tosses a tray on a customers table, spilling the drinks on the floor)
Squidward: Taught him everything he knows. (more bags of trash being broken and customers getting burnt food or food thrown at them. SpongeBob and Squidward are snoring the bathroom while customers are waiting to use the stalls. Customers are clamoring in line while SpongeBob and Squidward are snoring at the cash register)
Mr. Krabs: What are you two doing?! Get to work! I'm used to Squidward sleeping on the job, but I expect more from you, Mr. SquarePants.
SpongeBob: I am not SpongeBob SquarePants, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: What in the name of Davy Jones are you talking about?
SpongeBob: I mean, do these pants look square to you? They're round.
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, so?
SpongeBob: I can't be SpongeBob SquarePants with round pants.
Mr. Krabs: Who told you that?
SpongeBob: Patrick. (puts his Krabby Patty down)
Mr. Krabs: Well, why don't you just take them off? (cut to SpongeBob bringing out a Krabby Patty in his underwear)
SpongeBob: Order up, Squidward.
Sandy: Well if it isn't SpongeBob UnderPants. (chuckles. SpongeBob notices he's in his underwear and screams)

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-{{ITranscript}}
+{{Cleanup}}
+{{EpisodeTr/116b}}
-(setting starts with showing clouds)
+*(setting starts with clouds)
+*'''Narrator:''' Ah. Another quiet day in Bikini Bottom. But it wasn't always this way. Once, it was horrible. ''(lightning strikes. A bridge wobbles as people try to get a pig across. Cut to SpongeBob's house)'' The unimaginable happened. One day, SpongeBob SquarePants... changed his pants! ''(a woman screams)'' I remember it as if it were yesterday. But, in fact, in happened three days ago. ''(calendar rewinds to three days ago. SpongeBob carries a load of his pants and puts them in the washing machine. Then walks up to Gary)''
+*'''SpongeBob:''' It's laundry day, Gary! ''(takes off Gary's shell, revealing his butt)'' Oops. ''(puts Gary's shell back on then takes it off again, revealing underwear)''
-Narrator: Another quiet day in Bikini Bottom. But it wasn't always this way. Once, it was horrible! (lightning is shown, trees are blowing, a bridge is shaking, and a person is seen, and people are shown helping an animal) (setting goes to SpongeBob's house)
+*'''Gary:''' ''(crawls off)'' Meow.
-The unimaginable happened!
+*'''SpongeBob:''' ''(puts the shell in the washer, closes the lid, and turns it on)'' Now to finish the day's chores. ''(vacuums, washes dishes, and dusts the TV. The phone rings)'' Hello?
-One day, SpongeBob SquarePants...changed his pants! (A live-action woman screams and falls back)
+*'''Patrick:''' Hello. Uh, may I speak with SpongeBob, uh, uh... ''(looks at his hand and reads what's on it)'' ...Squaaa...re...Paaaaants?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Mm, speaking.
+*'''Patrick:''' Hey, hey. You want to hear how long I can do this for? ''(monotone spluttering)''
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Actually, Patrick, I'm kind of busy. Can it wait?
-I remember it as if it was yesterday, but it was 3 days ago. (the calender goes back to january 7, where SpongeBob is carrying a bunch of his pants in his laundry basket. He opens the washing machine and dumps a bunch of his pants in the washing machine. Scene cuts to Gary, Snellie and Lary watching T.V. when SpongeBob came by picking them up)
+*'''Patrick:''' ''(still going)'' No. ''(continues. SpongeBob sighs)''
+*'''Narrator:''' Much later... ''(We hear Patrick making all the sound effects over phone and SpongeBob being bored. Gary slithers away)''
-SpongeBob: It's laundry day, Snailtales! (takes off Gary, Snellie and Lary's shells revealing their butts) Oops. (puts Gary's shell back on Gary then takes it off revealing that he's wearing an underwear. Next he puts Snellie's shell back on Snellie then takes it off revealing that she's wearing an underwear. And finally he puts Lary's shell back on Lary then takes it off revealing that he's wearing an underwear)
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Gary, go check on the laundry in the dryer.
+*'''Gary:''' Meow, meow. ''(puts his shell back on and starts the dryer, which has all the square pants in it. Gary goes through the pet door)''
-Gary, Snellie and Lary: (slithers off seriously) Meooooow.
+*'''Narrator:''' Much much later... ''(SpongeBob's just sitting there on his chair and Patrick is done making all the sound effects)''
+*'''Patrick:''' A pretty long time. Huh?
-SpongeBob: (takes Gary, Snellie and Lary's shells and puts 'em in the washing machine and closes it so that it can wash 'em) Now, to finish today's chores. (First, he washes the dishes and finally he vaccums the rugs. When the phone rings he turns off the vaccum and answers it) Hello, SquarePants residents. (We see Patrick who'd answered the phone)
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, Patrick. ''(goes into the laundry room)'' Gary? ''(opens the dryer and gasps. All his pants are tiny)'' They've shrunk! ''(puts a pair of pants on each leg)'' I'm gonna need to get new pants. ''(cut to Mall)''
+*'''Clerk:''' I'm sorry, Mr. SpongeBob, but we're not expecting another shipment of square pants for months.
-Partick: Hello. May I speak to SpongeBob...? (Looks at his hand and tries to read it) 'Squuuuuaaaaarrrre... Paaaaaannnnnntttts'.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Oh. ''(tries on some different pairs of pants)'' No. Nope. Ew, not these. Uh-uh. ''(notices a round pair of pants. Tries them on and they are a tight fit)'' Whoa, these pants fit my body better than my own mother! ''(goes out for a walk and walks past Patrick)'' Hey, Patrick! Notice anything different? Pose. Pose. Pose. Pose.
+*'''Patrick:''' Do I know you?
-SpongeBob: Mmm, Speaking.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' ''(laughs)'' It's me, SpongeBob.
+*'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob? ''(looks at the drawing on his hand that says ' SquarePants')'' No, you're not! SpongeBob has square pants. Now, leave me alone, you mysterious stranger.
-Patrick: Hey, buddy. If I answered the phone when I was speaking to you will I do this? louloulouloulouloulouloulouloulouloulouloulou....
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick is so full of tartar sauce. I'm still me. It's just a pair of pants. It's not like my friends won't recognize me.
+*'''Sandy:''' Well, howdy, stranger! I don't recognize you in those newfangled dungarees. ''(wolf whistles)'' You must be SpongeBob FancyPants. Clothes really do make the man!
-SpongeBob: Actaully, Patrick I'm kinda busy. can I wait?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Sandy didn't recognize me either. These pants are more powerful than I thought. Course it was just Sandy, and Neptune knows what goes on inside a squirrel's head. ''(a real squirrel is shown looking left to right)'' But I know my best buddy Squidward will recognize me. We have been through so much together. ''(cut to SpongeBob walking up to Squidward's house, humming a tune)''
+*'''Squidward:''' Oh, no. It's that little yellow freak.
-Patrick: loulouloulouloulou... No. Loulouluoluoloulouloulouloulouloulolou... (SpongeBob sighs)
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Hi, Squidward!
+*'''Squidward:''' Just ignore him. Maybe he'll go away.
-Narrator: Much Later... (We hear Patrick making all the sound effects over phone and SpongeBob being bored. Gary, Snellie and Lary slithers by. )
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, Squidward! Guess who?
+*'''Squidward:''' Do I know you?
-SpongeBob: Gary, go check the laundry in the dryer.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, sure you do. It's me, SpongeBob... SquarePants.
+*'''Squidward:''' Never seen you before in my life.
-Gary: Meow meow. (He slithered to the laundry room and Patrick still making those sound effects over phone. Scene cuts to Gary in the laundry room with his shell on. Gary gathers all of SpongeBob's pants which he'd put in and closes the dryer so that it can dry 'em) (He slithered outside through the snail door as we see SpongeBob's pants in the dryer too long which is starting to shrink)
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Well, maybe these pictures of us together will job your memory. ''(picture of Squidward running away from SpongeBob is shown)'' Me and you at my birthday party. ''(picture of Squidward sleeping at work)'' Me and you at work. ''(picture of Squidward sleeping in his bed)'' That little slumber party we had last week. ''(picture of Squidward showering with the curtain closed)'' I forgot when this was taken.
+*'''Squidward:''' Is that supposed to be you? ''(SpongeBob sighs and walks away)'' I can't believe. He actually left. ''(laughs)''
-Narrator: Much Much Later... (SpongeBob's just sitting there on his chair and Patrick is done making all the sound effects)
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward didn't know me either. It's like we'd never met. Maybe Patrick is right. ''(can't get in his door)'' Oh no, it's locked. ''(knocks on door)'' Gary! Hey, Gary! Can you open the door?! I left my keys in the other pants. ''(Patrick opens door)''
-Patrick: Pretty long time. hun?
+*'''Patrick:''' Hello. Can I help you?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, it's me, SpongeBob.
+*'''Patrick:''' Oh, right. You're that round pants fellow.
-SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick. (Hangs up the phone and goes to the laundry room) Gary? (opens the dryer and gasps noticing that his pants has shrunking down to size) They've shrunk! (he takes one of his shrunkin pants and puts' em on each leg) Oh. I'm going to need to by new pants. (Scene cuts to mall where SpongeBob asks the store owner where his SquarePants' are)
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, what are you doing in my house?
+*'''Patrick:''' Your house? This house belongs to SpongeBob SquarePants. At least it did before he left us. ''(blows nose)'' I wish I could see him one last time. ''(closes door)''
-Store owner: I'm sorry Mr. SpongeBob but we're not expecting another shippment of SquarePants for months. (SpongeBob sighs then goes over to check on the other pants' that he could wear)
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, barnacles! I guess I'm not 'SpongeBob SquarePants' anymore. I'll have to start all over again. ''(cut to Krusty Krab where SpongeBob is talking to Squidward)'' Hello, sir. I'd like an application, please. My name is SpongeBob Sq... ''(coughs and grunts)'' Sorry, I'm a little... ''(coughs more)'' I'm a little... ''(grunts)'' I'm a little nervous. My name is SpongeBob... Roundpants. And I would like to seek employment at this eating establishment. ''(Squidward punches himself)'' Oh, dear! Are you ok, Mr. Cashier? Ooh! ''(picks up a stack of papers)'' Here are the applications. ''(cut to SpongeBob filling them out)'' Let's see here. "Name." ''(writes)'' SpongeBob RoundPants. Well, this is going well. ''(to Squidward)'' Hey, Mr. Cashier, looks like we're gonna be coworkers! ''(Squidward groans)'' Question two. "Have you ever been convicted of a felony?" Hmm, what's a felony?
+*'''Squidward:''' Being too darn happy all the time!
-SpongeBob: No. Nope. Ooh not these. Uh uh. (He checks through the last pair of pants then gasps and see a pair of roundpants. He went to the dressing room to put it on. The roundpants felt tight on SpongeBob) Oo, these pants hug my bottom, (smiles) better than my own mother! (SpongeBob goes out for a stroll when he walks past Patrick) Hey, Patrick. Notice anything different? pose. pose. pose. pose.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, yeah! Lots and lots of felonies.
+*'''Squidward:''' ''(chuckles)'' Moron.
-Patrick: Do I know you?
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' What's going on here?!
-SpongeBob: (laughs) It's me SpongeBob!
+*'''SpongeBob:''' I'm filling out an application.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Get to work.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' ''(gasps)'' Then I got the job?!
-Patrick: SpongeBob? (looks at his hand that reads ' SquarePants') No you're not. SpongeBob has Square-Pants. Now leave me alone you mysterious stranger.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' ''(annoyed)'' Oh boy. ''(cut to later)''
-[[Category:Episode transcripts]]
+*'''SpongeBob:''' My first day on the job. I am so excited. Woo-hoo!
+*'''Squidward:''' Whatever.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' ''(panting)'' You've worked here a long time. Why don't you show this rookie the ropes?
+*'''Squidward:''' Oh, I'd love to.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Yay! ''(grabs Squidward)''
+*'''Squidward:''' But...no! Don't... ''(gets dragged into the kitchen)''
+*'''SpongeBob:''' So what do I do first? ''(pen and notepad in hand)''
+*'''Squidward:''' ''(groans)'' Fine. Take a Krabby Patty and put it on the grill. ''(does so)''
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Shouldn't you watch it?
+*'''Squidward:''' Why? I don't think it's going anywhere.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Ooh, very Zen. ''(Krabby Patty burns)'' What next, oh, oracle of Krabby wisdom?
+*'''Squidward:''' I'm going to the bathroom.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Hmm, I'll go, too. ''(walks into the stall next to Squidward)'' How's it going in there, boss?
+*'''Squidward:''' Um... fine.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' ''(writes)'' Going fine. ''(Squidward starts snoring)'' Oh, Mr. Squidward... ''(under Squidward's stall. Squidward screams)'' Whatcha reading? ''(Squidward walks out of the bathroom and SpongeBob follows, writing stuff down)'' Bathroom break. Check. ''(cut to later)''
+*'''Squidward:''' Here's the slop you ordered. ''(tosses tray of food down on customer's table)'' Enjoy. If you can choke it down.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' ''(writes)'' Be rude to customers and insult food. Nasally laugh. ''(cut to later where Squidward throws a bag of trash at the dumpster out back and breaks the bag open. SpongeBob does same. Squidward pats SpongeBob on the head. Cut to later)''
+*'''Customer:''' Can I get a Krabby Patty Combo?
+*'''Squidward:''' No.
+*'''Customer:''' How about a Double Krabby?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' No.
+*'''Customer:''' Can I get a Triple Patty with soda?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' ''(nudging Squidward)'' Oh I think you've had way too many of those. ''(both laugh as customer walks off angry. Cut to another trash bag broken being thrown at the dumpster. SpongeBob tosses a tray on a customers table, spilling the drinks on the floor)''
+*'''Squidward:''' Taught him everything he knows. ''(more bags of trash being broken and customers getting burnt food or food thrown at them. SpongeBob and Squidward are snoring the bathroom while customers are waiting to use the stalls. Customers are clamoring in line while SpongeBob and Squidward are snoring at the cash register)''
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' What are you two doing?! Get to work! I'm used to Squidward sleeping on the job, but I expect more from you, Mr. SquarePants.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' I am not SpongeBob SquarePants, Mr. Krabs.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' What in the name of Davy Jones are you talking about?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' I mean, do these pants look square to you? They're round.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah, so?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' I can't be SpongeBob SquarePants with round pants.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Who told you that?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick. ''(puts his Krabby Patty down)''
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, why don't you just take them off? ''(cut to SpongeBob bringing out a Krabby Patty in his underwear)''
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Order up, Squidward.
+*'''Sandy:''' Well if it isn't SpongeBob UnderPants. ''(chuckles. SpongeBob notices he's in his underwear and screams)''