The Way of the Sponge/transcript

Template:EpisodeTr/166b

• SpongeBob: [walking to Sandy's Treedome] Boy, I can't wait to show Sandy my new karate moves, [laughs] oh, Sandy, aaah... [shows Sandy with Fuzzy Acorns] Sandy is in trouble, don't worry, Sandy, i'm gonna save you! [flies then digs to Sandy's Treedome but is stopped by Fuzzy Acorn's stinky feet.]
• Fuzzy Acorns: Who is this intruder that fails to attack me?
• Sandy: That's my friend: SpongeBob SquarePants
• SpongeBob: Woah...what was that stench?
• Fuzzy Acorns: That is what we in karate call The Smell of Death!
• SpongeBob: [gets up] You know kah-ra-tay?
• Sandy: He just doesn't know karate, he IS karate. [Fuzzy Acorns takes down a fly using his eyebrows] He is the legendary karate master, Fuzzy Acorns. Fuzzy is here to test me for the highest belt in karate.
• SpongeBob: But Sandy, you already have a black belt.
• Sandy: Yes but there's one even higher than that! [points to Fuzzy Acorns' belt] The blacker belt!
• SpongeBob: Gee...I wish I had a karate belt
• Fuzzy Acorns: [quickly moves beside SpongeBob] If you want a belt, you must earn it.
• SpongeBob: Okay? How do I do that?
• Fuzzy Acorns: You got caught in the eyes? What do you think I'm here for!?
• SpongeBob: Hm?
• Fuzzy Acorns: I am the mighty oak, and you are but a sapling!
• SpongeBob: Um...sorry. I'm confused.
• Fuzzy Acorns: I am here to seperate that wheat from the chaff! No? [SpongeBob shakes his head] That last one usually works...
• Sandy: What Fuzzy is trying to say is that he is here to judge weither anyone is worthy of getting a karate belt or not.
• SpongeBob: But how can anyone ever truely know weither he or she is worthy?
• Fuzzy Acorns: It is simple. I conduct a series of tests, and if you pass, [takes out a red belt] I'll give you a belt that shows you know karate.
• [bubble transition to a log on two blocks]
• Fuzzy Acorns: The first test is simple. Split a log with one hand chop, like so. [easily chops the log in half] Your turn, [places another log down] Karate Man.
• SpongeBob: [walks over to the log] Mm-mmm! Yeah, okay.
• Fuzzy Acorns: Please proceed.
• SpongeBob: Okay! Prepare to see the split of your life! [jumps onto the log but ends up splitting himself in half]
• [bubble transition to Fuzzy Acorns holding a stick]
• Fuzzy Acorns: Mastery of this test will show me you're ready for the next level of karate-dom! [shouts while swinging the stick around] Alright, your turn! [gives SpongeBob the stick]
• SpongeBob: In turn I will! [laughs]
• Fuzzy Acorns: Just do the thing with the thing please! [SpongeBob jumps onto Sandy's wheel and starts to ride around on it while Nat Peterson is seen playing a piano and SpongeBob runs into Sandy] We shall settle this on the battlefield tomorrow! You two will fight each other! If I see you have the skill of real hand-to-hand combat, I will award you with karate belts. [takes out two karate belts then puts them back] Otherwise, you get nothing. [jumps up into the tree]
• SpongeBob: Oh, wait! Sensei!
• Fuzzy Acorns: No more talk! Only do!
• Sandy: [leads SpongeBob out of her tree dome] Better run on home and practice SpongeBob! See you tomorrow! [closes the door]
• [bubble transition to SpongeBob running up and down stairs. He then lifts weights and runs up stairs more getting tired. SpongeBob karate chops a brick wall but he ends up breaking apart. SpongeBob then walks up more stairs but falls toward the bottom after nearly reaching the top. He then punches a punching bag but punches it too hard and it slams into him.
• Narrator: Early the next morning...
• SpongeBob: My match! [tries to open his door but he cannot get a grip on it] I can't get outta here!
• Gary: Meow...[opens the door using his mouth]
• SpongeBob: [runs out of his house] Thanks Gary!
• Gary: Meow meow.
• bubble transition to Sandy's Treedome
• Fuzzy Acorns: Where is the soft one!? That match starts in...[looks at his watch which resembles an abacus] Right now!
• SpongeBob: Here...I'm right here...[has a tired expression on his face] I've readied myself...into a full state of readiness...and I am ready...to be ready...I'm so tired...I'm so tired...so very tired...
• Sandy: You sure you want to do this buddy?
• Fuzzy Acorns: Enough talk! If you want your belt, you gonna have to tussle it out! So let the match begin!!!
• [SpongeBob slowly chops at Sandy but she easily grabs his arm and chops it]
• SpongeBob: Alright! Brace yourself Sandy! 'Cause it's about to get rough and tumble!
• Sandy: [quickly moving behind and in front of SpongeBob] Okay, SpongeBob! You gotta catch me first! [SpongeBob starts to spin around and she forces him into the ground]
• Fuzzy Acorns: Most impressive, Sandy. But I am here to evaluate SpongeBob. [grabs SpongeBob with his foot] Let's see what he can do on the offensive! [tosses SpongeBob toward Sandy but she grabs him in midair and tosses him into a tree]
• SpongeBob: Okay Sandy! [karate chops a pinic table and jumps onto the wooden pieces close to Sandy] Prepare for my finishing move! I call it The Sleeper! [falls asleep on the table]
• Sandy: Huh?
• Fuzzy Acorns: Very good, Sandy! You put your opponent to sleep in under a minute! [touches the table and it falls apart causing SpongeBob to wake up] Too bad your opponent didn't put up a fight. I was prepared to give you the lowest of belts, [takes out a transparent belt] The Clear Belt! [chuckles] But now I realize you're unfit to wear a belt of any kind, INCLUDING THE ONE THAT HOLDS UP YOUR PANTS!!! [takes off SpongeBob's belt which causes his pants to fall down]
• Sandy: Don't be disappointed, SpongeBob. A belt isn't the most important thing in karate.
• SpongeBob: Easy for you to say Sandy. Your pants aren't down right around your ankles.
• Fuzzy Acorns: [takes Sandy's black belt] And I'm revoaking your black belt!
• Sandy: Hey! You can't do that!
• Fuzzy Acorns: Oh yes I can! For wasting my time bringing me this sorry, EXCUSE FOR A STUDENT!!! Stick to something you're good at son.
• SpongeBob: Yes Sensei...[walks off sadly]
• Sandy: That was pretty low-down, Fuzzy. The way you humiliated my friend.
• Fuzzy Acorns: The Sponge-One will never earn his belt.
• Sandy: I know SpongeBob will impress you if you give him one more chance!
• Fuzzy Acorns: Silence! No more chances! Sensei never gives two chances! If you really want to impress me, show me where I can get a decent meal around here. Lunch time approaches.
• Sandy: That's it! I'll take him to the Krusty Krab and then he might just find himself impressed by a certain sandwich maker!
• Fuzzy Acorns: Who're you talking to?
• [bubble transition to the Krusty Krab]
• Squidward: Come on, SpongeBob! What's wrong with you!? Get grilling!
• SpongeBob: Squidward I...I failed my karate exam...
• Squidward: Sigh...which is why I keep telling you: Never try anything new, ever! Stick to what you're good at! And stick to it soon!
• SpongeBob: Stick to what I'm good at? Hey, Squidward's right! [quickly and easily makes Krabby Patties together. Sandy and Fuzzy Acorns are seen at a table]
• Sandy: You sure you don't need an air helmet?
• Fuzzy Acorns: This won't take long. Fuzzy has trained himself to go hours without air. [SpongeBob is seen jumping through the air throwing Krabby Patties to customers]
• Sandy: How about them moves?
• Fuzzy Acorns: Pretty okay...for a fry cook!
• Squidward: SpongeBob! Twenty more orders here!
• SpongeBob: Twenty! Got it Squidward! '[flings more Krabby Patties to customers then jumps back into the kitchen]
• Sandy: Well, that took some agility!
• Fuzzy Acorns: Simple parlor tricks! "[SpongeBob then kicks a Krabby Patty toward Frank] Yah, a Kung-Fu charlatan! [SpongeBob spins around and delivers Krabby Patties to Sandy and Fuzzy Acorns]
• Sandy: Now you're convinced!
• Fuzzy Acorns: I've seen better!
• Sandy: Hey, SpongeBob! I like my Patty in twelfths please!
• SpongeBob: Okay! [spins the Krabby Patty around and perfectally chops it into twelve equal pieces.]There you go Sandy!
• Fuzzy Acorns: Huh!? May have Squishy boy is more skilled than I first thought!
• Sandy: Told ya!
• Fuzzy Acorns: Not so fast, Squirrel Cheeks! The only way to turely know is to test him myself! [puts on a headband and jumps toward SpongeBob but SpongeBob walks away and Fuzzy Acorns goes through a table]
• Harold: Hey, waiter! An empty plate!?
• SpongeBob: [Fuzzy Acorns screams and charges at SpongeBob but SpongeBob, not knowing, chops him in the face] Oh! I forgot the fries! [heads into the kitchen]
• Fuzzy Acorns: [follows SpongeBob into the kitchen] Now, I see you're a skilled opponent! With a cold-blooded heart of a warrior!
• SpongeBob: [holding a Krabby Patty while also not paying attention to Fuzzy Acorns] Sigh...You little Krabby Patties are so cute! Hmm...something's not right here. [sniffs the Krabby Patty] It's the onions! They've gone bad! [throws all the onions away with most of them hitting Fuzzy Acorns]
• Fuzzy Acorns: He's on the offensive! [falls into a barrel of trash] Time for you to end this! [walks on the ceiling and falls onto SpongeBob but gets attacked while SpongeBob was cutting up more onions]
• Sandy: That's showing him, SpongeBob! [SpongeBob dashes out as Fuzzy Acorns lands on the grill] You gonna give him a belt Fuzzy? Or have you not had enough yet?
• Fuzzy Acorns: You brought me to the dance, but the universe is cutting in!
• Sandy: Huh?
• SpongeBob: [grilling Krabby Patties] Okay, looking good!
• Fuzzy Acorns: Sponge-Man! [charges at SpongeBob] Smell the vibrations! [lands onto SpongeBob's body but gets tossed away]
• SpongeBob: Make the fires! I almost forgot! [Fuzzy Acorns lands in a barrel of pickles]
• Squidward: More Patties!
• SpongeBob: Grilling them now! [puts more Patties on the grill and runs back to Harold and Debbie] Your fries, sir! [Fuzzy Acorns charages at SpongeBob once again and SpongeBob hands Frankie Billy fries] And your fries, sir! Ketchup? [drops the ketchup bottle] Oops! [bends down to pick it up and Fuzzy Acorns misses overhead and crashes] Got it! Gasp! Fuzzy!
• Sandy: Oh no!
• SpongeBob: Sensei Fuzzy! You okay?
• Fuzzy Acorns: I was wrong about you SpongeBob. You have bested Fuzzy, with your karate greatness! [coughs and takes out a black belt] You are now a Karate Master!
• SpongeBob: For me? Thanks Fuzzy! Fuzzy? You look terrible! [shows a close up of Fuzzy's horrific  face and he begins to behave strangely] Sandy, what's wrong with Fuzzy?
• Sandy: I know what he needs! He just needs this![puts an air helmet on Fuzzy's head]
• Fuzzy Acorns: No more talk, only do! Sandy my dear, for holding your own against The Sponge, you have truly proven yourself worthy of the Blacker Belt! [Sandy takes the blacker belt from him and she puts it around her suit]
• Sandy and SpongeBob: Thanks Fuzzy! [watches as Fuzzy's pants fall down]
• Fuzzy Acorns: Why must the universe confound me so!? [he, SpongeBob, Sandy, and the rest of the customers all share a laugh]