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"The Sponge Who Could Fly" (transcript)

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Transcript Information
The Sponge Who Could Fly
General
Season №: 3
Episode №: 59
Airdate: March 21, 2003
Chronology
Previous: "Plankton's Army"
Next: "SpongeBob Meets the Strangler"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "The Sponge Who Could Fly" from season three, which aired on March 21, 2003.

Note: It is divided into 4 parts

Patchy Plot (Part 1)

Remembering SpongeBob

  • [Scene opens up in front of Nickelodeon Studios, where a security guard is standing by the gate]
  • French Narrator: Last week, a never-before-seen episode of SpongeBob SquarePants was discovered under a desk at Nickelodeon Studios. [a large crowd of excited people is shown] Now all the world is waiting in fevered anticipation to watch... [the title appears on screen] the SpongeBob SquarePants Lost Episode! [an aerial shot of the town of Encino appears] Now, to present the Lost Episode, from Encino, California, the president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club, Patchy the Pirate! [inside his house, Patchy is inside the shower, humming; Potty flies up]
  • Potty: Patchy! Patchy! The kids are here. [flushes the toilet]
  • Patchy: WAH!!! [opens the curtain in panic] Hot! Hot! Hot! Potty, don't you know this is Patchy private time? [looks at the camera] Oh, hello! Dahh! [covers himself with the curtain] What are you all doing here?
  • Potty: They're here to see the lost episode. Brawk!
  • Patchy: But I haven't got the lost episode because I... well, I lost it! [starts to cry]
  • Children: [off-screen] No, Patchy! Please! Don't say that, Patchy! Please!
  • Patchy: But it is! It's lost and I have no idea where it is, so it's best if you forget all about old SpongeBob. [shuts the curtain and cries loudly. cuts to a montage of SpongeBob's greatest moments]
  • French Narrator: Remembering SpongeBob. [SpongeBob walks into the kitchen of the Krusty Krab, from "As Seen on TV"; brings it around town, from "Bubblestand"; puts a ketchup pawprint on a Krabby Patty then puts it down on a bun, from "The Chaperone"; struggles with his long legs, also from "The Chaperone"; separates into two pieces then joins back together, also from "Pizza Delivery"; stands motionless in awe, also from "As Seen on TV"; struggles lifting up a bar with two teddy bears attached, from "Help Wanted"; skips outside tossing hearts in the air, from "Valentine's Day"; goes for a blue jellyfish but winds up catching himself in his net, from "Tea at the Treedome"; surfs backwards with his pants ripped then wipes out, from "Ripped Pants"; dodges a karate chop from Sandy, from "Karate Choppers"; smokes a bubble pipe, from "Grandma's Kisses"; sheds a layer of his skin, from "F.U.N."; floats around a boat completely inflated, from "Pizza Delivery"; sends a message in a bubble, from "Naughty Nautical Neighbors"; a muscular version of him chases a jellyfish, from "MuscleBob BuffPants"; lies in bed next to Squidward, from "Home Sweet Pineapple"; scrubs the inside of his head, also from "The Chaperone"; clenches onto Mrs. Puff, from "Boating School"; rocks out, from "Band Geeks"; plucks his eyebrows, yet again from "The Chaperone"; sucks on a table, from "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy"; shrinks on the stove, from "Nature Pants"; does a karate dance, also from "Karate Choppers"; blows the sand of Squidward, from "Reef Blower"; wiggles around, also from "F.U.N."; and lastly, gets shut out by Squidward, from "The Paper; an audience applauds; cuts back to Patchy, who is sitting on the couch]

A dream come true

  • Patchy: I don't believe I lost the Lost Episode. [screws in his peg leg] I never lose anything.
  • Potty: What about your leg?
  • Patchy: Well, yeah, but...
  • Potty: And your eye.
  • Patchy: Well, the eye, I...
  • Potty: And your hand.
  • Patchy: And the h... oh, get out of here you blasted bird! [shoos Potty away] Hmm... if only I had a map to tell me where the Lost Episode is. [a screeching car sounds and a brick flies through the window and hits Potty; he mutters gibberish and then falls over]
  • Potty: What is it? Brawk!
  • Patchy: Hey... it's a map! It's a map to the Lost Episode of SpongeBob I lost!
  • Potty: It's a dream come true!
  • Patchy: [giggles] We gotta go find it, Potty! [shouts excitedly and runs over to the door; snaps] Oh, first I'll need me treasure hunting leg. [grabs a black boot out of a bin of umbrellas and screws it on his wooden leg while limping out the door; it now functions like a normal leg] Come on, Potty! Ah! Times a-wastin'! [runs down the steps, along with Potty]
  • Potty: Brawk!

Searching for the Lost Episode

  • Patchy: [an elderly woman sits on her porch, knitting] Ten paces past Mrs. Johnson's house. [walks past the woman's house]
  • Mrs. Johnson: Would you boys like some cookies?
  • Patchy: Put 'em in a doggie bag, Mrs. Johnson. Can't right now, we're on a treasure hunt. [continues walking]
  • Mrs. Johnson: Okay, don't catch a cold.
  • Patchy: Walk five fathoms past Don's Import Store and Delicatessen. [looks up at a store by that name; walks next to a tree] Half a league to the forked tree. [looks up at a tree with plastic forks growing on it] Oh! [stands somewhere else, looking at the map] Now all that's left is... Huh?! The seven trials of monkey lagoon?! [lowers the map and sees a playground full of children] Merciful Neptune. Only for SpongeBob. Only for SpongeBob!!! [runs into the playground; rides back and forth on a small green horse] AHHHHH!!! Whoa!!! [goes up and down on a see-saw] Whoa!!! Whoa! [slides down a slide with his hands up] YAHHHHH!!! [hits the ground] Ow! [gets spun around on a merry-go-round] AHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! [slowly climbs on the monkey bars while a little kid punches him in the back] Ahh... Ahh... Ah! [inside a giant climbing thing while a group of kids laugh at him] AHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! [gets pushed on the swing by a little girl] AHHHHH!!! DAHHH!!! [the swing he was on returns with only a hook attached to it; the little girl stares at it, confused; cuts to Patchy digging in the sand] We made it! We survived the trials! Oh, I'm really gonna dig this lost episode! [laughs] Dig it, get it? [laughs some more]
  • Potty: [covered in sand] You stink!
  • Patchy: And I just got out of the shower. [laughs again; sticks his shovel in the ground and hits something] Hey Potty, I think I hit something. [camera zooms out; a large treasure chest sits in the sand] Clever... bury your treasure above the surface.
  • Potty: Brawk!
  • Patchy: [opens the chest; a golden glow shines from it] This is it! [a man in a construction hat sits in the chest, holding a tape; Patchy takes it; the man cups his hands] I don't know what it means either. [slams the top of the chest on the man] But I got what I came for! Come on Potty, time's a-wastin'. [runs off, jumping around and shouting excitedly again; runs into his house, still excited, and holds the tape up] Yeah!!! Popcorn. [slams a bag of popcorn down on the table] Soda. [puts a cup of soda on the table] Pickled garlic! [puts a jar of pickled garlic down on the table, next to the other things; runs and sits down] Potty, hit the remote!
  • Potty: [drops an egg that hits the remote] Brawk! [the VCR turns on]
  • Patchy: [grabs the popcorn] This is gonna be great! [a countdown, starting at ten, appears on the screen] I can't believe it. More SpongeBob! [starts eating the popcorn; the countdown makes it's way down to five] This so exciting! [laughs, shaking the popcorn, which flies everywhere; the countdown ends] Here it comes!
  • Potty: Brawk! Pipe down!

Real, or Fake?

  • ["Walk Cycles" begins on the TV screen; SpongeBob is walking down the road while techno music plays in the background; his body squishes up, then returns to normal; then, his body extends and his arms flail around; he returns to normal, then squishes up three times, shrinking smaller and smaller, in synchronization with the music; extends his body again; once again, squishes up smaller and smaller in synchronization with the music; extends his body again; starts running frantically while sweating and looking left to right; extends his body, this time with his tongue sticking out and flailing around; begins frantically running again; his limbs and body separate and his eyes pop out of his head; begins walking normally again; "Walk Cycles" ends; a beeping noise comes from the TV; Patchy stares blankly for a moment]
  • Patchy: That's it? That's the Lost Episode? That was just a bunch of cheap walk cycles!
  • Potty: What a rip!
  • Patchy: Grrrrr... [his face turns red and smoke steams out of his ears] SpongeBob betrayed us?! [runs over to a wall of framed SpongeBob pictures; begins tearing them off the wall] I'm sorry I ever started this stupid fan club in the first place! [enters his SpongeBob merchandise filled room and starts throwing things everywhere] I'm gonna get rid of all my SpongeBob stuff! All of it! All of it! [rips his SpongeBob boxers out of his pants] All of it! [runs to the door] I'm gonna run away, that's what I'll do! Run away! [runs out the door crying]
  • Potty: Sheesh, what a hothead!
  • Announcer: [on TV, another countdown has started at twenty-three seconds with the words "SpongeBob SquarePants Episode 118 The Real Lost Episode"] And now, the real Lost Episode!
  • Potty: Brawk! Patchy, come back! There's more!
  • Patchy: [opens the door] Really? [shuts the door, then reenters again, quickly reversing what he did earlier to get return his SpongeBob stuff; sits back down] Hooray! Let's watch!

SpongeBob Part (Part 1)

  • ["The Sponge Who Could Fly" opens up in Jellyfish Fields]
  • French Narrator: Here we see the proud jellyfish hunter. [SpongeBob stands completely still at the top of a hill, holding his net] He stands motionless to lure the jellyfish into a false sense of security. [a jellyfish swims right be him] And when his prey ventures to close, he springs into action.
  • SpongeBob: [puts on his safety glasses; turns into a spring and bounces after the jellyfish; stops in midair and looks down] Huh? [stretches out and starts falling downward, now in normal form] AHHHHHHHHH!!!! [hits the ground] Ooh! [separates into seven smaller SpongeBob's, who all run away and then join back together, except for one, which SpongeBob catches and places in an open space on his backside; wipes the sweat off his forehead] Phew! I salute you, oh majestic jellyfish. [salutes a jellyfish that buzzes over his head] Your command of the sky is unmatched. Floating just out of the reach of my net, but near enough that I can see your untamed beauty. [a jellyfish floats up and down above SpongeBob's palm; music begins to play as a microphone lowers in front of him; he clears his throat] ♪If only I could join you there in the air. Floating free without a care. I wish I could fly. And see things with a different eye.♪ [SpongeBob's two eyes combine into one big eye; the camera zooms into it and his pupil becomes him flying through the sky] ♪I would fly so very high and touch the sky.♪ [flies through a crowd] ♪And never have to ask why it is that I can't fly♪ [the blue sky backdrop turn back into Jellyfish Fields, and SpongeBob falls to the ground; he gets up] Wait a minute, I'm forgetting the words of Grandpa SquarePants. [a thought cloud appears above SpongeBob's head; SpongeBob's grandfather is inside of it]
  • Grandpa SquarePants: If we were meant to fly, we'd have propellers on our heads or jet engines on our backs. [the cloud disappears]
  • SpongeBob: [snaps] I'm gonna follow his advice, by gum. I'll invent a flying machine! [cuts to SpongeBob working on building a plane outside of a barn; Patrick walks up to him]
  • Patrick: What's that contraption, SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: That, Patrick, is a flying machine.
  • Patrick: [laughs]
  • SpongeBob: What's so funny?
  • Patrick: Well, it's like my grandpa used to say. [a thought cloud appears over his head; Grandpa SquarePants is inside it again]
  • Grandpa SquarePants: If we were meant to fly, uh... hey, I'm not your grandfather! [pokes Patrick in the head with his cane; the thought cloud disappears]
  • SpongeBob: Well, here I go, Patrick! [runs to the front] I'm off to fly with the jellyfish! Ignition, check! [spins the propeller around] Landing gear... [kicks the tire] check! Complimentary peanuts... [holds up a bag of peanuts] check-a-roo. [hops into the cockpit, now with a hat and glasses on] Ready for takeoff! [pushes a handle forward; the plane starts up, then comes to pieces; the propeller spins through the air and slices through a grain silo next to the farm; sand pours out of it and covers him and Patrick]
  • Patrick: You cut a hole in Farmer Jenkins' grain silo!
  • SpongeBob: Don't remind me.
  • Jenkins: [runs up] I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines! Now git! [Patrick and SpongeBob run away]
  • Patrick: We better do what he says. He knows how to grow food! [cuts to Patrick standing in front of his rock, looking dumb; SpongeBob runs up with blueprints in his hand]
  • SpongeBob: Well, it took me all night, but here they are. The new blueprints! I wasn't even close with that last one. Propellers, rudders... [blows raspberries; cuts to him standing on the top of a cliff in a rubbery bat costume] This one's gonna fly! [stretches out the wings; the camera focuses on SpongeBob's butt, which is sticking out more than ever] I can feel it. Ready, Patrick?
  • Patrick: [at the bottom of the cliff] Ready!
  • SpongeBob: [jumps and starts flapping his wings; starts gasping] It's working, Patrick! I'm flying! I'm... [ceases to fly] falling!!! [hits the ground] Ooh! [Patrick runs over and sprays him with a fire extinguisher; cuts to SpongeBob, holding a clipboard, and Patrick, walking]
  • SpongeBob: This is it, Patrick. The physics are all here. This time, I'm gonna fly! [walks up to a lawn chair with two balloons attached to it and a brick sitting on it]
  • Patrick: Oh boy, a birthday party!
  • SpongeBob: [laughs] No, Patrick. This is the SquarePants Flyer Mark Three. [goes over and picks up the brick] All you do is remove the brick, or ballast, and... [turns around and realizes that his invention is no longer there] Huh? [looks up and sees it flying away] Well, back to the drawing board.
  • Patrick: Can we have the cake now? [singing] Happy, happy birthday to you! [cuts to SpongeBob, attached to a red kite, which is attached to a bicycle that Patrick is on]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, get ready to say "Eureka!"
  • Patrick: Okay!
  • SpongeBob: Go!!! [Patrick starts pedaling; SpongeBob lifts up off the bucket he is standing on and flies through the air] It's working! I'm flying! [flies past three fish on the side of the road]
  • Cap Fish: Hey! Look at that guy tied to a kite!
  • Fred: Why's he doing that?
  • Nancy: Oh my goodness...
  • Fred: Why's he doing that?
  • Cap Fish: He'll fall and break his...
  • Nancy: Can you see from up there?
  • SpongeBob: Do not be afraid, earthbound people. I am not a flying monster, I am just one of you. [suddenly, the kite snaps on him and falls out of the sky] Doh! [Patrick keeps pedaling as SpongeBob repeatedly hits the ground behind him] Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! Ow! Patrick! [the three fish crack up; cuts to the Barg'n-Mart; SpongeBob is standing at the cash register in front of Vendor; he puts the shredded kite on the counter] Excuse me, sir, but I would like to return this kite.
  • Vendor: Hey... I know you. Yeah, from today's paper! [holds up a newspaper with a picture of SpongeBob on the front page and the headline "Local Nutcase Tries to Fly"]
  • SpongeBob: "Local nutcase tries to fly"?! I'm a nutcase because I follow my dreams? Well, they laughed at the guy who invented light bulbs too!
  • Vendor: No they didn't.
  • SpongeBob: [raises his fist] You'll see. [walks outside, and past Monroe and his mother]
  • Monroe: Look mom, it's the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom.
  • Mable: Wow! I wonder why he's still using his legs.
  • Monroe: Come on, Bird Man. Flap your wings and fly! [makes flapping motions; he and his mother laugh cruelly; SpongeBob walks away, only to encounter many other fish]
  • Cap Fish: Hey, Bird Man, going to check on your eggs?
  • Nancy: Maybe he's looking for a statue to poop on.
  • Fred: [steps in front of SpongeBob and starts flapping his arms and making chicken noises; a crowd of fish around him laughs]
  • SpongeBob: Go on and laugh, but it is a sad day in Bikini Bottom when a guy is ridiculed for having dreams! [two fish holding babies stand to the side of him]
  • Mother #2: You think you're the only one with unfulfilled dreams?
  • Stubble Fish: I was supposed to be a concert pianist... until I realized I didn't have any fingers. [looks at his hands]
  • Nat: We all had dreams.
  • Nancy: What makes you so special? [the crowd of fish turns into an angry mob, along with pitchfork and torches]
  • Mob: Let's get him!
  • SpongeBob: [the mob chases him; he starts panting, then stops] Huh? [camera zooms out to reveal SpongeBob just stepped off the edge of a cliff] AHHHHH!!!
  • Nat: Good riddance, dreamer!
  • [it uses Man instead]
  • SpongeBob: AHHHHH!!! [lands in a Mud Removal truck] Ooh! [the truck makes a sharp turn and SpongeBob falls out, covered in mud; while falling] Well, it can't get any worse. Doh! [lands in a Feather Delivery truck; sticks his head up, which is now covered with feathers] I guess I spoke too soon. [the scene freezes]
  • French Narrator: Will SpongeBob be able to fly? Stay tuned. [fade to black.]

SpongeBob Part (Part 2)

[Cut to SpongeBob, with a towel wrapped around his body and the top of his head, looking out the window at the jellyfish flying by]

  • SpongeBob: There they go again, Gary. [sighs] I suppose I'll never join them in the sky. I'll be stuck on the ground, sentenced to a flightless life. [takes off his towel, under which is his underwear, and tosses it away] Oh well. I guess all dreams aren't meant to come true. [grabs his pants and puts them on] Back to reality. [walks over to the sink; Gary follows]
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: No, Gary, my dreams are silly. [takes the towel off of his head; grabs a comb and blow-dryer and starts brushing and drying his spongy hair; the phone rings; he sticks the blow-dryer partially in his pants and answers the phone] Hello? No, this isn't the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom. What? [the blow-dryer starts to inflate his pants] No, I certainly do not live in a birdcage. Who is this? Joe Momma? Well, listen up, Joe. [Gary retreats inside his shell] I hate to break it to you, but flying is impossible. [floats upward and hits the ceiling] I have to go now. My head just hit the ceiling. Huh? Hey! Look, Gary! [pulls the blow-dryer out of his pants] I... I think I'm flying! Jellyfish Fields, here I come! [the top half of his pineapple opens up and he flies out of it]
  • Monroe: [points] Mom, look! It's the flying guy!
  • Mable: Wow, I guess he wasn't a lunatic after all.
  • SpongeBob: [flying over the town] ♪I'm flying. I'm flying!♪
  • Citizens: [Cap Fish pops up] ♪He's flying!♪ [Nat pops out the window] ♪He's flying!♪ [Miss Shell pops up] ♪He's really, really flying!♪ [Nancy opens her door; Tom pops out of the sewer, moving his fingers in rhythm]
  • SpongeBob: ♪They laughed, they scoffed, before I had liftoff.♪
  • Citizens: [Miss Shell stands next to Martha holding balloons; an aqua fish stands next to another older fish; Lenny and Vendor pass by] ♪But now he's flying.♪ [SpongeBob passes over them] ♪He's flying high in the sky.♪ [Nat drives by in a boat; another fish drives behind them; a couple other fish enter the scene]
  • SpongeBob: ♪I'd love to hang around to say I told you so.♪ [takes off] ♪But it's off to Jellyfish Fields I go!♪ [passes by a sign pointing in the direction of the Fields, making it bobble] ♪Roads and streets are not for me.♪ [passes over an intersection with a stoplight]
  • Mrs. Puff: ♪Help! Please help! My snail is up a tree. I've had her since I was a little girl.♪ [takes a deep breath] ♪But now it looks like the end of her world.♪ [the tree branch holding the snail snaps off] NO!!!!!!
  • SpongeBob: [catches the snail] Gotcha! [laughs; hands the snail to Mrs. Puff] Next time, try the elevator. [flies off]
  • Mrs. Puff: Thank you, Bird Man!
  • SpongeBob: [flies upward in a circle, leaving a swirling rainbow path behind him; flies up to a plane, in which Billy is sitting, among others] ♪I have never felt so free!♪ [Billy looks out the window at SpongeBob in bewilderment] ♪High in the sky is the place for me.♪ [flies away; Billy pulls down an oxygen mask and starts breathing heavily] ♪Helping friends from up above.♪ [SpongeBob flies onward some more, still leaving a rainbow path behind him; sprinkles drop down over a group of children; Monroe sticks his tongue out and catches one, then makes a face in disgust] ♪These are the things that I love!♪ [picks up a dime off the ceiling of a building and drops it in Mr. Krabs's hand] ♪I'll help Mr. Krabs reclaim his dime.♪
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm rich!
  • [cuts to Patrick who stares in awe at a mime doing his shtick; SpongeBob swoops down and lifts him into the air]
  • SpongeBob: ♪And I'll save Patrick from this mime!♪
  • Patrick: Thanks, buddy!
  • SpongeBob: [flies over to a kelp bush] ♪Even Plankton needs some help, when he gets tangled in the ke-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-elllllllp!♪ [inside the bush, Plankton is struggling to untangle himself from a piece of kelp; SpongeBob lifts him up]
  • Plankton: Please put me down!
  • [cuts to the Bikini Bottom News, where Johnny is reporting]
  • Fish Head: All of Bikini Bottom is abuzz over the identity of a mysterious flying man who helps people. [cuts to Tom, wearing a bad hairpiece]
  • Tom: He found my hair piece! [cuts to a Tyler]
  • Tyler: He helps people... and he flies... and he helps people.
  • Fish Head: [back at the desk] Who knows what superhero act of courage he'll astound us with next?
  • [cuts to a foggy night at Goo Lagoon; the lighthouse is shining its light around, when suddenly, it goes out; Johnson and an old fish run up]
  • Nat: Oh no! The light in the Goo Lagoon lighthouse went out, and Sailor Jenkins is headed for the coastline!
  • Jenkins: [drives through the fog in a boat on the lagoon] I'm glad I gave up farming!
  • SpongeBob: [flies down] I'm coming! [takes out the old light bulb and reaches behind his back to get a new one; screws it in and flips the switch; it turns on and Sailor Jenkins turns back around; a crowd of people run up, cheering]
  • Nat: Thanks, mysterious flying man!
  • Jenkins: [slams into a large rock in the middle of the lagoon; starts to sink] I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines!
  • SpongeBob: [walking away, with his pants deflated, brushing his hands off] That's enough good deeds for one day. I've got a date with a flock of jellyfish.
  • Mr. Krabs: [runs up] SpongeBob! Son! I need you and your magical pants!
  • SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, I invented these pants so I could fly with the jellyfish! If I keep doing favors for people I'll never make my dreams a reality. [starts to walk away]
  • Mr. Krabs: But SpongeBob, it's an emergency!
  • SpongeBob: [stops; inflates his pants] Let's roll! [flying through the sky with Mr. Krabs in his arms] Where to, Mr. K?
  • Mr. Krabs: Uh... my garage.
  • SpongeBob: You've got it! [lands next to Mr. Krabs' garage] What's the emergency, Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: Are you sure you're up for it, boy?
  • SpongeBob: I think my pants can handle it.
  • Mr. Krabs: I need you...
  • SpongeBob: [anxiously] Yes?
  • Mr. Krabs: To clean...
  • SpongeBob: Clean up crime?
  • Mr. Krabs: My garage.
  • SpongeBob: [his pants deflate] That's your emergency?
  • Mr. Krabs: But SpongeBob, everyone knows it's easier to clean a garage when you can fly!
  • SpongeBob: [crosses his arms] All right, Mr. Krabs. I'll clean your garage. But after this, no more favors! [inflates his pants again; later, he flies out of the garage, finished with the job] All done, Mr. Krabs.
  • Mr. Krabs: [sunbathing] And the recyclables?
  • SpongeBob: Aw, shrimp. [turns around and reenters the garage; even later, he flies away] Finally! Jellyfish Fields, here I come!
  • Patrick: [off-screen] SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Patrick's in trouble.
  • Patrick: [lying on his back in the street] SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: [flies down to him] What is it, buddy?
  • Patrick: Will you scratch my tummy? [SpongeBob gets annoyed but does it anyway] Ah...
  • [a montage begins]
  • Larry: Help me pick out a tie? [holds out three different colored ties; SpongeBob picks one]
  • Squidward: Clean my bathtub? [SpongeBob unwillingly obeys]
  • Mrs. Puff: Balance my checkbook? [SpongeBob scribbles in her checkbook]
  • Plankton: Help spread the word of evil? [SpongeBob hands out newspapers with the headline "EVIL" on them]
  • Hat Fish: Untangle my phone chords?
  • Cap Fish: Do my geometry?
  • Nancy: Talk to my plants!
  • Gray Fish: Rub my scalp? [SpongeBob rubs the man's scalp] Mmm... oh yeah!
  • SpongeBob: [stops and starts flailing his arms] Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm supposed to be at Jellyfish Fields right now. But instead, I'm rubbing your scalp. And I don't even know who you are.
  • Gray Fish: But, we went to elementary school together.
  • SpongeBob: Dennis? [starts rubbing his scalp again]
  • Dennis: Mmm... oh yeah!
  • [cuts to a crowd of fish searching for SpongeBob]
  • Cap Fish: SpongeBob!
  • Monroe: Hey SpongeBob!
  • Fred: SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: [hiding behind a rock] If I don't give these feverish favor-seekers the slip, I'll never get to fly with the jellyfish. [quietly flies away]
  • Monroe: Hey! There he is!
  • SpongeBob: [flies faster]
  • Monroe: He's getting away!
  • Light Purple Fish: No! He owes us favors!
  • Monroe: Get him!!! [the angry crowd chases after him, into Downtown Bikini Bottom; while SpongeBob flies past the buildings in a straight line, the crowd runs up and down each building; they stop at a cliff, before Jellyfish Fields; SpongeBob keeps flying]
  • SpongeBob: I'm almost at Jellyfish Fields. I'm gonna make it!
  • Nat: He's headed for Jellyfish Fields! We'll Never catch him now!
  • Jenkins: [off-screen] I'll take care of this!
  • Crowd: It's Cannonball Jenkins!!!
  • Jenkins: [inside a lit cannon, wearing a red helmet and suit; launches out of the cannon and toward SpongeBob; he collides with him, and SpongeBob's inflatable pants explode; the two hurtle toward the ground; SpongeBob falls even further as Cannonball Jenkins opens up a red parachute] I told you nothing good would come from city folk and their flying machines! [the crowd watches as SpongeBob crashes to the ground; they walk over]
  • Fred: What have we done? [starts to cry] Come on, everybody! I think a proper burial is in order. [picks up the pants] A pair of pants like these come around... once in a lifetime. [the crowd leaves; SpongeBob, now in his underwear, regains consciousness]
  • SpongeBob: Well, it was fun while it lasted. [walks up to Jellyfish Fields, then walks away] I guess I'm not meant to fly after all. [sighs; starts to raise up in the air; a group of jellyfish are below him, carrying him up] Huh? Hey! My jellyfish friends are helping me fly! Without pants! I guess it just goes to show... [the jellyfish carry him back to Bikini Bottom] ♪You don't need a plane to fly♪ [Johnson looks out the window at him] ♪Plastic wings may make you cry♪ [a flock of scallops fly by] ♪Kites are made for windy days. Lawn chair with balloons... fly away♪ [the crowd of fish bury SpongeBob's pants as the mourn over them] ♪Inflatable pants... you may as well skip!♪ [arrives at his home; the jellyfish put him back on the ground] ♪If you want to fly, all you need... is friendship. Yeah.♪ [the jellyfish buzz away; waves] Goodbye, jellies! You taught me a valuable lesson. Although I'm not quite sure what it was.
  • Patrick: [walks up] Hey! Let's fly down to the pizza house for a slice.
  • SpongeBob: No more flying for me, Patrick. I'll leave that to the jellyfish. [opens his door]
  • Patrick: Suit yourself. [lifts up his arm and flies away]
  • SpongeBob: [turns back around] Did Patrick just...? [laughs] Nah! [enters his house again, but opens the door one last time, just to make sure.]

Patchy Plot (Part 2)

[cuts back to Patchy's house]

Watching Again

  • Patchy: Wow! Wasn't that great, kids?
  • Potty: Let's watch it again.
  • Patchy: [chuckles] That's a great idea, Potty. [looks on the table] Where's the remote? [continues searching] Where's the remote? [stands up] Oh, I lost the remote! They should make those things... [a brick flies through the window and hits Patchy on the head] Eh... [falls to the floor]
  • Potty: Brawk!
  • Patchy: [stands back up and drops the brick on his foot; he is now holding his remote] My remote! [goes to the window] Thanks, stranger!
  • Mrs. Johnson: [outside, in a wheelchair] Don't mention it, Patchy! [flames shoot of the back of her wheelchair and she peels off, leaving a skid mark behind]

Remote Trouble

  • Patchy: Now, which one of these cockamamie buttons is rewind? [presses a button; a juggling clown appears on TV] No, that's not it. [presses another button; a weatherman appears on TV] Doh! Wrong again. [keeps flipping through the channels and grunting; a black and white horse movie comes on, then a blob movie, then a football game, then the giraffe from Krusty Krab Training Video, then the anemone from Your Shoe's Untied then a Tyrannosaurus Rex battling a Triceratops; Potty flies over]
  • Potty: Brawk! Let me do it!
  • Patchy: No, get away! [the lights go out] That's the light switch! [the light turns back on; Patchy and Potty fight over the remote, until a mariachi band pops up from behind the couch]
  • Potty: Brawk! That's the mariachi band button!
  • Patchy: Grrrrr... I hate technology!!!

Lost Forever

  • Patchy: [continues pressing buttons on the remote] Rewind... darn you! [suddenly, the VCR starts spitting out tape]
  • Potty: Brawk! Failure ahoy!
  • Patchy: No! [tries to stop the tape from spewing out] Dah! DAH! Oh, blasted infernal machine! [gets tangled up and falls over, still struggling] Oh no! I've ruined the lost episode! Now it's lost forever!
  • Potty: Brawk! Lost forever!
  • French Narrator: Oh boy, what a loser. Well, I guess the lost episode will remain lost. But, tape or no tape, as long as there are stars in the sky, SpongeBob will live on in our hearts and in our minds. [a SpongeBob constellation appears over Patchy's house] Now get lost. I mean, bye. No, really, get lost.

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