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The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water/transcript

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Mermaid Man &amp; Barnacle Boy VI The Motion Picture 102
"Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's 'stolen Krabby Patties.'"

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Spongebob 2

Sponge out of water poster 2

General
Movie №: 2
Airdate: February 6, 2015
Chronology
Previous: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
List of movie transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants film, The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water, which aired on February 6, 2015.

  • [Movie starts with the 2013 Paramount Pictures logo. Once it appears, the scene cuts to black and then fades to the ocean water]
  • [The camera swiftly goes over it, including the Nickelodeon Movies logo popping out of the water, then going back in. The camera then looks both ways until we see the Bikini Atoll island as the camera then goes close and inside the island, through its jungle, until we see Burger-Beard the Pirate, pulling his boat, then looks at his map]
  • Burger-Beard: A-ha! [chuckles evilly, then goes and cuts his way into the island, humming, then grunting, as the opening titles read "Paramount Animation and Nickelodeon Movies present" and "A United Plankton Pictures Production" fading in & out. He then sees a sign saying "Booby Traps".] Eh? Booby traps?! [destroys the sign with his sword and steps on it while heading towards the temple where the book lies. Burger-Beard sighs passionately and then the movie's title screen cues] Oh, there you are, my lovely! [Burger-Beard then goes through series of booby traps that mostly include spikes coming out of stones laying on the ground, escaping them all by dancing and finally arriving to the skeleton holding the book.] Hmm, what's that? Take the book? I don't mind if I do! [pulls the book out of the skeleton's hands and lefts him. Skeleton then loses his head and starts falling on the ground upside-down while Burger-Beard starts admiring the book. Laughs] At last, it is mine! [talks to the book] Finally, you are mine! [skeleton then gets reassembled, rises, fixes up his head and faces him] Alright, let's do this! [skeleton prepares to fight him] Erbacks. Bring it on sketty! You don't scare me! [skeleton then starts punching Burger-Beard who either avoids his attacks or blocks them with the book while laughing. Soon skeleton punches him and he goes flying straight up in the air while screaming. Scene then cuts to seagulls playing cards on the deck of Burger-Beard ship while in the background, Burger-Beard is seen launched from the the Bikini Atoll and heading his ship while still screaming]
  • Seagull #1: You got any sevens?
  • Seagull #2: Go fish.
  • Burger-Beard: [crashes on the ship, scaring the seagulls away, stands up and leans his head towards the Bikini Atoll] Is that all ya got!? Huh? [laughs, kisses the book, puts the book under his left arm, grabs a rope hanging behind him with his right arm, and swings to the cockpit. Scene then cuts to the anchor getting pulled, then cuts to sails getting lowered and the then cuts to cockpit where Burger-Beard is seen leaning back due to the ship suddenly started moving while still holding the ship's wheel. Scene then cuts to show ship's stem breaking the waves and then cuts to Burger Beard standing on the ship's mainmast, just about to jump back to cockpit to press the "auto pirate" button. Once the ship gets set to "auto pirate," he laughs, sits on the cockpit to relax, sighs passionately and then takes the book he stole from the skeleton. Opens the covers to see a library's note with return date long past.] Man, this is way overdue. [opens the first page of the book and starts reading it aloud while camera zooms to a non-colored illustration of Bikini Bottom on the first page of the book] Once upon a time, under the sea, there was a little town called- [illustration soon gets colored and cartoon sequence starts] -Bikini Bottom. In this town, there was a place called- [cuts to the exterior of the Krusty Krab] -the Krusty Krab where folks would come to eat a thing called- [a real-life Krabby Patty covers the screen] -the Krabby Patty. [the scene then cuts to the SpongeBob's grill inside of the Krusty Krab where Krabby Patties are being grilled while steam is lifting in the air] Every greasy spoon has- [cuts french fries getting fired in an oil] -a fry cook and- [cuts to the desk with all Krabby Patty ingredients on it] -the one who worked here- [cuts to spatula that was being lowered from top of the screen to bottom] -was named- [SpongeBob puffs next to the grill while catching the spatula] -SpongeBob SquarePants-. [SpongeBob blinks with his shiny eyes]
  • [scene cuts to seagulls performing the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song on Burger Beard's ship while he is trying to calm them down. He then gets mad.]
  • Burger-Beard: Stop! [as they hear this, the seagulls stop before they finish performing the song and are then shown disappointed and Burger Beard then starts speaking while having his finger marking the page where he stopped reading] There's only one thing worse than a talking person, and that would be... SINGING BIRDS!
  • Seagull: Okay, I promise not to... ♪ sing! ♪ [another seagull covers his throat and points to a skeleton parrot band in a birdcage]
  • Skeleton Parrot #1: Take it from us.
  • Skeleton Parrot #2: You really don't mean singing birds.
  • Kyle: [as another seagull poops] Just keep reading. Please, Mr. Pirate, sir.
  • Burger-Beard: Come closer. Let me tell you the tale.
  • Seagull: Okay, start reading.
  • Burger-Beard: Not that close! [scares the seagull off as a couple more seagulls come in to listen, then turns the page] All right. Here we go. [scene changes to the Krusty Krab with falling Krabby Patties] Now, SpongeBob loved his job as a fry cook more than anything. [SpongeBob laughs as he goes into the Krusty Krab before the scene changes to SpongeBob happily polishing his snow globes before kissing one] And that is saying a lot. Because he loved everything! [scene cuts to SpongeBob hugging Gary in a blue background] He loved his pet snail, Gary. [Gary meows] He loved his best friend, Patrick. [Gary poofs into Patrick before he giggles] [scene cuts to SpongeBob making his friends into bubbles] He loved blowing bubbles... [scene changes to SpongeBob catching a jellyfish while falling off a cliff] ...and jellyfishing.
  • SpongeBob: Whee! [scene cuts to SpongeBob happily making Krabby Patties]
  • Burger-Beard: He loved making Krabby Patties for the folks in Bikini Bottom.. [many Krabby Patties land on the customers' plates]...just as much as they loved eating them. [scene cuts to the customers' enjoying their Krabby Patties together, including Bubble-Bass, which his seat breaks] "Why," you may ask, "do they love this greasy meal sandwich so much? Why did they eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner... [scene cuts to show a customer eating a Krabby Patty while on a hospital bed and wearing a breathing mask] "...despite the doctor's warnings?"
  • Dr. Gill Gilliam: He'll be gone in a week.
  • Evelyn: Oh, Harold! [sobs as she sadly bites into a Krabby Patty as the doctor does the same too, happily]
  • Burger-Beard: It was a secret. [scene cuts to a real-life Krabby Patty with many question marks in the background] No one was sure what was in those patties that made them so delicious. And frankly, no one cared, except for Plankton. [scene cuts to an embarrassed Plankton]
  • Plankton: Nah. [scene cuts to a crowded Krusty Krab before zooming to an empty Chum Bucket]
  • Burger-Beard: Plankton owned a restaurant right across the street from the Krusty Krab, where no one ate... [scene cuts to a disgusting chum patty before Plankton appears from behind] ...because the food was really bad!
  • Plankton: Now, is that really necessary? [the patty deflates a little]
  • Burger-Beard: [as the scene cuts to Plankton, wearing spy gear, tries to steal the formula] Plankton had made it his life's work to steal the recipe. [after Plankton chuckles evilly, SpongeBob vacuums him up]
  • Plankton: SpongeBob, please! Let's talk about this. [SpongeBob blows the vacuum thereafter]'
  • Burger-Beard: But SpongeBob was always there to protect it. But today... [after the camera zooms into the formula, the scene cuts to a small, green airplane heading for the Krusty Krab] ...things would be different.
  • [scene cuts to SpongeBob throwing out the trash when Patrick comes up to him]
  • Patrick: Good morning, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: Morning, Patrick! Are you here for your pre-lunch Krabby Patty?
  • Patrick: I'm getting two today. One for me, and one for my friend.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, have I met this friend?
  • Patrick: [uses his belly as a talking friend and impersonates his voice] You know me, SpongeBob. [he and SpongeBob laugh, as well as his tummy]
  • SpongeBob: Enjoy, Patrick's tummy. [as he waves goodbye, he hears the engine from the airplane, which then drops a big jar of tartar sauce close to the Krusty Krab]
  • Mr. Krabs: [is seen counting his money outside of the entrance door] 13, 14, 15... [SpongeBob walks out of the Krusty Krab]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs. I thought we got our tartar sauce delivery on Thursday.
  • Mr. Krabs: Tartar... [the tartar sauce splashes everywhere on the Krusty Krab, including SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs] ...sauce?
  • Plankton: Bullseye! [laughs evilly]
  • SpongeBob: Plankton!
  • Mr. Krabs: [angry] So it's a food fight he wants, eh? [grabs SpongeBob] Listen up, boy! Plankton's been trying to steal me formuler thousands of times, but he's never had a plane before! So protect the secret formuler AT ALL COSTS!
  • Plankton: [as he approaches the Krusty Krab] Welcome to Air Plankton! Please put your seats and tray tables up as we're now approaching our final destination.
  • [scene cuts to show SpongeBob and Patrick on the Krusty Krab roof wearing army clothes and having a fire weapon]
  • SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick. Load the potatoes!
  • Patrick: [gets plates of two different potatoes] Mashed or scalloped, sir?
  • SpongeBob: No, Patrick: raw.
  • Patrick: Sir, yes, sir! [throws the plates away and dumps raw potatoes from a bag into the weapon] Locked and loading!
  • [scene cuts to show Mr. Krabs looking at the formula in the safe]
  • Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, little formuler. You'll be safe in this...safe. [closes the safe door and yells through a microphone] FIRE!!
  • [scene cuts to SpongeBob's weapon firing the potatoes toward Plankton's plane]
  • Plankton: Potatoes?! [dodges the potatoes side-to-side]
  • SpongeBob: He's closing in!
  • Patrick: [while looking at the binoculars upside down] I think we have a few minutes before he gets here. [SpongeBob turns the binoculars the other way] Huh? AAH! HE'S RIGHT ON TOP OF US!!
  • [scene cuts to the potatoes getting chopped into fries before flying down towards Sandals]
  • Sandals: Hey, it's raining fries!
  • Plankton: It's gonna take a lot more than potatoes to bring this baby down! [more potatoes cover Plankton's plane before destroying it] Or maybe not.
  • [scene cuts to show customers inside the Krusty Krab looking at the explosion from the plane before cheering, then it changes to SpongeBob and Patrick cheering as well]
  • Patrick: Whoo!
  • SpongeBob: Wait a minute, Patrick. Look! He's got a tank!
  • [as the tank lands from a parachute, Plankton puts a pickle inside a shooter before heading to the controls]
  • Plankton: Well, Krabs, you're certainly in a pickle now!
  • [the tank perfectly aims toward SpongeBob and Patrick before they gasp and, in slow-motion, jumping out of the way just in time]
  • Sandals: Hey, it's raining pickles! [chuckles] Now, it's raining... [the tank lands on Sandals]...tanks.
  • Plankton: You're welcome. [the tank drives away]
  • [scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick getting up and noticing pickles coming toward them before SpongeBob dials a telephone]
  • SpongeBob: Your order, sir.
  • [scene cuts to Sandy looking at a menu at the drive-thru]
  • Sandy: I'll have two Krabby Patties: extra ketchup, extra mustard, and hold the mayo.
  • SpongeBob: Wrong channel! [dials the telephone again] Your order, sir!
  • Mr. Krabs: Extra ketchup, extra mustard, HOLD THE MAYO!!
  • SpongeBob: Yes, sir! [holds a big ketchup bottle followed by small ketchup and mustard bottles] Extra ketchup, extra mustard.
  • Patrick: [holds a giant mayonnaise jar while grunting] Hold the mayo!
  • Mr. Krabs: Unleash the condiments.
  • SpongeBob: With relish. [screams while squirting the condiments repeatedly toward the tank before they run out, making farting noises] Excuse me! [he and Patrick laugh before SpongeBob gets another set of condiments and does the same thing]
  • Sandy: [through a window] Hello? Hello?! [from Mr. Krabs' megaphone] Guess ya'll don't want my money.
  • Mr. Krabs: Money? [quickly snatches Sandy's money and gives her the food] Thank you. Come again. [quickly closes the window]
  • [scene cuts to show more destruction from SpongeBob and Plankton before Patrick starts getting tired]
  • Patrick: I can't hold the mayo any longer! [throws the jar right toward the tank]
  • Plankton: Mayo?! Well, it's gonna take a lot more than mayo to stop- [the tank crashes into the mayo before it explodes and splashes everything, including SpongeBob and Patrick, then it rumbles]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, now what? [the tank reassembles itself into a giant robot before Plankton laughs evilly]
  • Patrick: Uhh... I just remembered! I don't work for Mr. Krabs. [gives his helmet to SpongeBob, then runs off, leaving SpongeBob alone, then SpongeBob drops Patrick's helmet and runs towards the Krusty Krab, as Mr. Krabs notices]
  • SpongeBob: Robot! Robot! ROBOT! GIANT ROBOT! Robot! Robot! [runs into Mr. Krabs' office] Mr. Krabs! Plankton's here, and he's got a giant robot!
  • Mr. Krabs: Quick, boy! Bar the door!
  • SpongeBob: [as he puts a chair, blocking the exit door] Got it! [suddenly, the robot crashes through stomping on SpongeBob before SpongeBob gasps and looks at Plankton laughing evilly]
  • Plankton: I'll take one secret formula... [Mr. Krabs gasps] ...to go. [as the robot's hand comes directly toward the safe, Mr. Krabs screams before the robot stops and Plankton notices it out of fuel] Oh, barnacles! I'm out of gas? [SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs both laugh] Well, I'm not through yet. I've got something that will make you hand over that formula: something you can't resist. [takes out his wallet before Mr. Krabs gasps]
  • Mr. Krabs: Money?!
  • Plankton: Yes. [notices the wallet empty] That's...that's...that's impossible! [gets caught inside the wallet before coming out of it] Well, it was full of money just last week. Then I bought that airplane, flew that tank-
  • Mr. Krabs: Sounds to me like someone's just a wee bit...broke!
  • Plankton: [sighs] Well, Krabs, I guess you've won. I've spent every penny I've ever made trying to put you out of business... [takes out a penny from his pocket] ...except this one: my last penny. [starts to cry] Besides, what could I do with one measly cent, anyway?
  • Mr. Krabs: You could give it to me. [with his eyes closed] Just a suggestion.
  • Plankton: [closes his eyes and leans while holding the penny and talking] Here. [throws the last penny to Mr. Krabs] Take it! [Mr. Krabs happily catches the penny and puts it in its safe] Take and everything else! Why not?!
  • [scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob walking towards the exit of wrecked Krusty Krab while Mr. Krabs is holding Plankton in his claws and talking]
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, Plankton, like a reheated Krabby Patty, you've been foiled again! [drops Plankton and he falls on the floor and sighs]
  • SpongeBob: I guess this means that the secret formula is safe forever. Right, Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: [taps SpongeBob on his head] Sure it does, boy. [Plankton stands up and Mr. Krabs pushs him toward the exit] Why don't you scurry along? [everyone in the Krusty Krab, expect SpongeBob laughs out loud as Plankton is leaving the Krusty Krab while crying] Thanks for coming! Have a nice day![bubble transition to Mr. Krabs' telescope view of Plankton crying while having his head leans on the pole with Krusty Krab sign on it] He's been out there crying for twenty minutes. [cuts to him looking through binoculars and SpongeBob standing next to him in a completely renewed Krusty Krab] Pathetic. [gives the telescope to SpongeBob and pulls his pants] I'm just gonna go out there and gloat a little. [leaves Krusty Krab and scene then cuts to Mr. Krabs office being empty as the camera then starts zooming towards the safe until it cuts to inside of the safe where the real Plankton is exiting from the last penny with a headset on his head while laughing]
  • Plankton: [stops laughing as his back starts hurting and then adjusts them] Cyclops to Laptop. Come in, Laptop. [cuts to Karen with headsets playing solitaire]
  • Karen: [ironical voice] Laptop. [takes card] You do realize that nickname is demeaning. I have twice the processing power than [with an ironical voice] the laptop. [cuts back to real Plankton inside a Mr. Krabs safe, walking towards the bottle with the secret formula]
  • Plankton: [with a quiet voice] Fine. Maintain radio silence. [throws his headset away as he arrives to the bottle with the secret formula] He-he, finally! [notices a light] A pressure plate, eh, Krabs? Amateur hour. [opens the safe] Hmm... [sees a bottle with a pirate ship in it] Perfect. [pushes the ship out of the bottle, then writes on a piece of paper and puts it in the bottle] Not a bad likeness. [while replacing the bottles] Good enough to fool that idiot Krabs. Easy, easy. [light corrects the other bottle with the fake formula]
  • [scene cuts to show SpongeBob's telescope view of Mr. Krabs dancing outside happily next to fake Plankton, who is still crying]
  • SpongeBob: Look at Mr. Krabs go! I've never seen him gloat this hard before.
  • Mr. Krabs: [chuckles] Well, Plankton, me bunions are telling me it's time to stop gloatin'. [picks the fake Plankton up, which stops crying] Eh? Looks like you're falling apart at the seams. [pulls a string to reveal the inside of the fake Plankton] Huh?
  • Plankton Robot: Poor me. [sparkles a little] Sob, sob.
  • Mr. Krabs: A robot?!
  • SpongeBob: [walks inside, then gasps when he sees...] Plankton?
  • Plankton: [when he gets caught] Uh-oh. [accidentally makes the fake bottle drop] That ain't good.
  • Computer Voice: [as a red light turns on and off] Initiating Lockdown Sequence.
  • Mr. Krabs: ME FORMULER! [sees the Krusty Krab going on lockdown]
  • Squidward: Huh? [gets trapped in steel] Ow! [Everything in the Krusty Krab gets trapped in steel]
  • Mr. Krabs: [heads towards The Krusty Krab that is locking down] No, no, no! No, no, no! [the doors shut] NOOOOO! [starts to bang on the door] Squidward! Open up!!
  • Plankton Robot: [picks itself up] Ha, ha! Victory dance! Booya!
  • SpongeBob: Give me that! [grabs the formula and pulls it towards himself]
  • Plankton: Come on, SpongeBob! [pulls the formula away from SpongeBob] JOIN ME!! AND WE'LL BE RICH AND POWERFUL! [the two start to tug for the formula] Until I eventually betray you! [he realizes that he wasn't supposed to say it] Uuh... JOIN ME!!
  • SpongeBob: No! Never! I'm on team Krabs for life!!
  • Mr. Krabs: [opens the doors and shouts] PLAAAANNNKTOOOOOOON!!
  • [the two continue to tug for the formula, but the formula then magically vanishes]
  • SpongeBob: What? Where'd it go?
  • Plankton: [thinking] Wait a minute... Molecular deconstruction? I proved that to be a scientific impossibility 7 times!
  • SpongeBob: [thinking] Wait a minute... I think I forgot to empty Gary's liter box today.
  • Mr. Krabs: [opens the door and lets out a big gasp as SpongeBob and Plankton stare a him for a few seconds] Where's me formuler, Plankton?!
  • Plankton: I-I don't know! It just disappeared!
  • Mr. Krabs: Why should I believe you, ya lyin' liar?!
  • SpongeBob: Normally, I'd agree with you, Mr. Krabs, but this time, he's telling the truth! It just vanished!
  • Plankton: It's true!! [Mr. Krabs picks him up as the scene cuts to him taped to Mr. Krabs' table]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I'm telling you! He's innocent!
  • Plankton: W-What are you gonna do, Krabs? Pour hot oil on me? Or put bamboo shoots under my nails?
  • Mr. Krabs: No. Knock-Knock.
  • Plankton: Knock-Knock jokes? I can do this all day, Krabs.
  • Mr. Krabs: Knock-Knock.
  • Plankton: Oh, boy. Who's there?
  • Mr. Krabs: Jimmy.
  • Plankton: Jimmy who?
  • Mr. Krabs: Jimmy BACK MY FORMULER, PLANKTON!!
  • Plankton: Well, that's stupid, but good how is it torture?
  • Mr. Krabs: [holding headphones] Hehehehe... You'll see. [puts headphones on]
  • SpongeBob: Jimmy... Back my formula? Hmm. Ooooooooooh! I get it! [starts to laugh hysterically]
  • Plankton: [screams in pain, cut to Mr. Krabs, then back to Plankton, the two side pieces of tape holding down Plankton's sides come off] Oh, make it stop, Krabs! MAKE IT STOP!! [cut back to Mr. Krabs. Cut to everyone, SpongeBob still laughing, Plankton still screaming, Mr. Krabs still wearing the headphones. Plankton imagines millions of SpongeBobs laughing until...]
  • Squidward: [opens the door with angry customers behind him, interrupting the moment] Mr. Krabs! [hears SpongeBob's laughter] SpongeBob, zip it! [SpongeBob finally stops laughing]
  • Plankton: Oh, thank you, Squidward!
  • Squidward: The customers are getting restless. They're asking for... [a crafty smile forms across his face] refunds.
  • [the word "refunds" goes out of his mouth was goes toward Mr. Krabs' headphones]
  • Mr. Krabs: [his headphones comes off and he shouts] Refunds!? [the customers are chanting "Refunds"] Listen up boy! [pushes SpongeBob into the kitchen] Get in there and make me customers some Krabby Patties! All right, Plankton... [sees that Plankton has escaped, then SpongeBob opens up the patty vault and screams like a girl] SpongeBob! What's wrong, boy? [moves SpongeBob over to check the vault and has the same reaction of screaming like a girl also, then the vault reveals that all the patties are gone] WE'RE OUT OF KRABBY PATTIES?!?
  • SpongeBob: How can we make more Krabby Patties without the secret formula?!
  • Mr. Krabs: You've got to have that formula memorized by now!
  • SpongeBob: [puts his hat back on] But as you are aware sir, [pulls out the employee handbook] the employee handbook clearly states and I quote, [puts on reading glasses] "No employee may in part or in whole, commit the Krabby Patty Secret Formula to any recorded, written, or visual form, including memories, dreams, and/or needle point".
  • Mr. Krabs: [cries for a second, shakes his fist and shouts] Curse you, fine print!!
  • [scene cuts to show a few angry customers picking up the order boat]
  • Mr. Krabs: STOP!! [everyone stops and the customers drop the order boat] I'm not your enemy! [while holding a "WANTED" sign with a picture of Plankton on it] Plankton's your enemy!
  • Squidward: So is he an anemone or Plankton?
  • Mrs. Puff: [plays a comedic beat on drums] Well, someone had to do it.
  • SpongeBob: But...but, Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: [while flipping the paper to show a Krabby Patty on it] He took this from you. [the customers gasp]
  • Fred: A Krabby Patty.
  • Sandals: I can almost taste it.
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, Plankton didn't take the secret formula.
  • Mr. Krabs: [while throwing the paper away] Not now, SpongeBob!
  • Patrick: [sits at a table, catching the paper] Hey! I ordered a double Krabby Patty.
  • Mr. Krabs: So, join me. Help me get the formula back, and I'll give each and every one of ya a free Krabby Patty! [the customers cheer] Oh, no, wait! Even better: a slight discount. [the customers groan, then they, along with Mr. Krabs, angrily run out of the Krusty Krab, chanting] To the Chum Bucket!
  • SpongeBob: [while looking out the front doors, sadly] But he didn't do it.
  • Plankton: [to Karen] I had it right in my greedy little mits, and then: poof! And now it's gone. Gone forever! I was so close to gaining the people's respect/fear.
  • Karen: Um, Plankton?
  • Plankton: Oh, when will my frustration/humiliation end?
  • Karen: Plankton...
  • Plankton: Not now, Hun! I'm ranting/raving. [sighs] All right, what is it?
  • Karen: Well, I was trying to tell you there's an angry mob outside, but now they're inside!
  • Plankton: Oh... [Mr. Krabs snatches Plankton]
  • Karen: [while the mob angrily stares at her] I...just work here.
  • Mr. Krabs: [while he and the chanting mob, carrying Karen, exit the Chum Bucket] We'd like to have a word with you.
  • Plankton: [chuckles nervously] You all look very hungry. Can I get everybody a Chum burger?
  • Mr. Krabs: [while pointing at Plankton] Enough of that niceties, Plankton! This is the last time I'm gonna ask you. WHERE IS ME FORMULER?!
  • Plankton: [while crawling away from Mr. Krabs] I told you, Krabs. I don't have it.
  • Mr. Krabs: Wrong answer! [prepares to stomp on Plankton]
  • SpongeBob: Stop! All right, Mr. Krabs. Let me get in on this. [growls, then angrily walks toward Plankton]
  • Plankton: What's going on around here?
  • SpongeBob: [pushes Mr. Krabs back] You may want to step back a little, Mr. Krabs. This could get messy.
  • Mr. Krabs: Let's hope so.
  • SpongeBob: So, you won't talk, eh, Plankton? [gets out a bubble jar] I didn't wanna have to do this. Plankton, [dips his wand in the jar] here comes the pain!
  • Mr. Krabs: Soap in the eye, eh? Diabolical.
  • Plankton: [while SpongeBob blows a bubble and sends Plankton in it] No, stop, no!
  • Mr. Krabs: Wait, that didn't look painful.
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you may not understand what I'm about to do today. [gets in the bubble] But someday, we'll look back and have a good laugh. [the bubble floats away]
  • Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute.
  • Customer: Hey, they're getting away!
  • SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: So, you've been runnin' a long con on me, eh? All these years, you've been working for Plankton?!
  • Paco: They're in cahoots!
  • Mr. Krabs: Yeah, I guess that's a short way of saying it. STOP THAT BUBBLE!
  • [the customers throw stuff at the bubble, including a football and a customer]
  • Customer: Please tell me there's something soft below me.
  • SpongeBob and Plankton: Uh, no. [the customer falls]
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! [the bubble floats farther] Oh, you were like an underpaid son to me. I would have expected Squidward to stab in the back! [points to Squidward, who had been sleeping on his feet]
  • Squidward: [wakes up] Huh, what?
  • Mr. Krabs: But SpongeBob? me most trusted employee, working with me sworn enemy? [while pointing at Squidward] You know what this means, Mr. Squidward?
  • Squidward: We get the rest of the day off?
  • Mr. Krabs: No! This be but a harbinger of what I fear lies ahead. For you, for me, for all of Bikini Bottom! The Krabby Patty is what ties us all together! Without it, there will be a complete breakdown of social order! A war of all against all! Dark times are ahead! Dark times indeed! [falls on his face]
  • Squidward: Seriously? [Mr. Krabs gets up] Aren't you overreacting a bit? [Bikini Bottom shifts to a post-apocalyptic phase full of fire]
  • Mr. Krabs: Welcome to the apocalypse, Mr. Squidward. I hope you like leather! [Bikini Bottomites run away angrily]
  • Squidward: I prefer suede.
  • [scene fades back to Burger-Beard's book]
  • Burger-Beard: And so, Bikini Bottom turned into an apocalyptic wreck forevermore! The end! [closes the book, then stands up and stretches]
  • Kyle: Wait a minute. That's a terrible ending!
  • Seagull: Oh, this is bad! Really bad! SpongeBob's in trouble, and the story's over?!
  • [as another seagull bangs his head with a bell repeatedly, others freak out as yet another one steps on Burger-Beard's steering wheel]
  • Seagull: There is no way that that's the end of the story.
  • Burger-Beard: Oh, of course it is. I'll show you. Just turn around.
  • Seagull: Oh, all right. [Burger-Beard takes a feather off of the seagull and uses it to write in the book] Hey, I need that to fly, you jerk!
  • Burger-Beard: [says it as he writes it] The end! [the fake end credits start to roll]
  • Seagull: That's not the ending!
  • [the fake end credits stop by ripping itself to the scene that shows Burger-Beard and the seagull fighting against the book until Burger-Beard falls]
  • Seagull #2: You better keep reading, Mr. Pirate,... [he and other seagulls aim their butts at Burger-Beard] ...or else!
  • Seagull #1: [while he drops the paper in the ocean] I know I shouldn't be littering, but that ending was rubbish! [evil laugh]
  • [the paper falls in the ocean, which is actually the post-apocalyptic Bikini Bottom where the Bikini Bottomites riot around angrily]
  • Patrick: [as he walks in the Krusty Krab] Good morning, Squidward! I'll have the usual. [a fiery boat crashes in the Krusty Krab] With cheese.
  • Squidward: We're out of Krabby Patties right now!
  • Patrick: [as he steps out slowly] No Krabby Patties?! [as he turns himself into a post-apocalyptic version of himself] NOOOO!!
  • SpongeBob: [as he and Plankton still float in the bubble through the destroyed Bikini Bottom] Look what's become of Bikini Bottom. We've really gotta get that formula back.
  • Plankton: Hmm... Get the secret formula, you say? Excuse me, I...need a moment. With that formula, I could rule the world! [Plankton laughs evilly, then clears his throat]
  • SpongeBob: You know I can hear you, right?
  • Plankton: Well, what do we do now?
  • SpongeBob: Now we work together. You know, teamwork.
  • Plankton: What's a te-amwork?
  • SpongeBob: No, Plankton, teamwork.
  • Plankton: Te-amwork.
  • SpongeBob: Teamwork.
  • Plankton: Tie 'em work.
  • SpongeBob: Teamwork.
  • Plankton: Tie 'em up.
  • SpongeBob: Say "team" like a sports team.
  • Plankton: Team.
  • SpongeBob: Now say "work."
  • Plankton: Work.
  • SpongeBob: Put 'em together, what do you got?
  • Plankton: Time bomb... work.
  • SpongeBob: Gettin' better.
  • [scene cuts to show Sandy in her treedome about to eat a Krabby Patty while turning on the news]
  • Realistic Fish Head: [on TV] Now, Bikini Bottom action news!
  • Sandy: [gasps to see Patrick slobbering on the glass] Oh! Hey, Patrick!
  • [as Sandy gets closer to eating the Krabby Patty, Patrick angrily knocks on the glass and repeatedly shouts "Krabby Patty!" until she eats it and Patrick sadly walks away]
  • Patrick: Come on, tummy. It's gonna be a long day.
  • Realistic Fish Head: [on TV] We interrupt your regular program for an important news bulletin!
  • Perch Perkins: [cuts to Perch Perkins in the post-apocalyptic street of Bikini Bottom] Perch Perkins reporting live from Downtown Bikini... [ducks from a boat being thrown at a building] ...Bottom. Complete chaos here today as our town attempts to deal with a sudden and complete shortage of Krabby Patties. [the building falls down] Whoa! Events here have this reporter wondering, what is the secret ingredient in Krabby Patties, anyway?! [runs away]
  • Fish: It's love!! The secret ingredient is love!! [swings a flail at the camera, static, Sandy's TV shuts off]

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