[episode starts with Mr. Krabs sleeping at his house with chips on his stomach, in a white tank top and underwear]
Mr. Krabs: Pearl!
Pearl: My friends will be here in 20 minutes for my slumber party and you're laying around in your tighty-no-longer-whities.
Mr. Krabs: A man works hard all week to keep his pants off all weekend.
Pearl: If you trusted me you would leave for the night.
Mr. Krabs:[Mr. Krabs laughs and corn chips come out of his nose] You make Corn Crunch come out me nose!
Mr. Krabs: Look, I'll stay upstairs in me room and not interrupt.
Pearl: You promise?
Mr. Krabs: I promise.
Pearl: Good night, daddy. [giggles]
Mr. Krabs: Good night, sweetie. [He goes upstairs. Pearl walks to the refrigerator, and finds that Mr. Krabs is there, chaining it up]
Mr. Krabs: Oh, hi, pumpkin. I was just setting out refreshments for your friends. [He hands a tray with crackers on a plate and tap water in a cup]
Pearl: Crackers and tap water? You are the cheapest crab alive!
Mr. Krabs: Don't say that. Here, would your friends want some pizza?
Pearl: Well, yeah. Yeah, we would.
Mr. Krabs: OK, you could have your allowance early. [He takes out his wallet and pulls out some packs of ketchup]
Mr. Krabs: See, you put it on the crackers [does so] and a mamma mia you got-a one-a spicy pizza pie-a. [He eats it. Pearl grabs Mr. Krabs, about to send him to his room]
Mr. Krabs: Okay, okay, I'm going. [Pearl flings him into his room. Suddenly, she hears knocking on the door outside]
Pearl: Oh! They're here! [She rushes outside, only to find Mr. Krabs putting a board on the house, listing all of the rules] Hi! Dad? [She notices Mr. Krabs building rules]
Mr. Krabs: Just putting up the house rules.
Pearl: No dancing, no loud music after 7: 30, no touching the root beer cellar?!
Mr. Krabs: And the most important one in all, no boys allowed! [Pulls a switch that puts up glowing, neon words on the roof of the house: NO BOYS ALLOWED] Isn't it glorious? [Pearl leaves and locks the door on him] Sweetie, you accidentally locked the door!
Pearl: You’re not coming back in this house until after my slumber party is over!
Mr. Krabs:[gasps] This is mutiny!
Pearl: What are you gonna do about it? Take away my allowance? [Throws the crackers with ketchup on them] Here you go!
Mr. Krabs: Open this door or I’ll...
[The neon sign shorts out and so does Bikini Bottom. At SpongeBob's house, Mr. Krabs has just finished telling him that he wants to stay at his house.]
SpongeBob: You wanna stay here? At my house? With MEEEEEEE?
Mr. Krabs: Whaddya say, boy? [SpongeBob rockets up in excitement]
SpongeBob: Yee-hee! Slumber party!
Mr. Krabs: Maybe I should just sleep under the highway. [Afterwards, SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs get into some sleeping bags and lie down near the TV]
SpongeBob: We can stay up really, really late! And tell ghost stories! And trade socks! [He shows Mr. Krabs his socks]
Mr. Krabs: Is that what girls do at slumber parties?
SpongeBob: No. They invite boys over and destroy the house!
Mr. Krabs: They what?!
SpongeBob: You know how girls are.
Mr. Krabs: Uh, SpongeBob, do you know anything about girls?
SpongeBob:[laughs] Do I know any... no. But Gary does. [We see Gary reading a magazine, also holding the remote]
Gary: Meow. [flicks on TV]
TV Announcer: We now return to tonight’s scary movie: Slumber Party Zombie Attack! [In the movie, some girls are having a slumber party]
Girl Fish: Pillow fight! [Girls fight and giggle. A pillow is thrown into a vase and picture frame] Missed me!
Mr. Krabs:[Gasp] Look what they’re doing to that man’s house!
SpongeBob: But, Mr. Krabs, it’s only a mov-
Mr. Krabs: Quiet, boy! [Back in the movie, the girls are continuing their slumber party]
Girl Fish: Boys are here! [Some boys arrive]
Boy Fish #1: Hi, girls. I brought my destructive friends.
Boy Fish #2: Nice to [Breaks a model boat] meet you!
Boy Fish #1: Ha! Destroying other people’s possessions is fun! [The boys cause havoc at the slumber party. They even burn some money, which frightens Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs:[screaming] Turn it off! Turn it off, I can’t take it!
SpongeBob: I don’t think this is the scary part yet.
Mr. Krabs: I…said…turn it off! [ destroys the TV with a bat]
SpongeBob: Gosh, Mr. Krabs. I never knew you were scared of zombies.
Mr. Krabs: Not zombies, you Barnacle Brain! [whispers] Teenagers.
SpongeBob: Zombie teenagers?
Mr. Krabs: No! Pearl and her no-good friends! They’re probably destroying me house right now! Like this! [He knocks over a plant and mocks a teenager] Oops! I don’t care! It’s not mine! [Finds SpongeBob’s family portrait] Oh, look! One of the home owner’s most prized possessions! [He throws it over shoulder] Adidas!
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs...
Mr. Krabs:[Goes over to bookshelf] Ooh look, this’ll be fun to destroy! [He knocks down the shelf on SpongeBob] Whee! [normal voice] Now do you get it, boy?
SpongeBob: Oh, I do, Mr. Krabs. It must be horrible to invite people into your home and have them treat your property with so little respect! [We see SpongeBob's house now. It is destroyed]
Mr. Krabs: That’s what teenagers do! Do you want this to happen to my house?
SpongeBob: Gosh, no, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Then get into Pearl’s party and find out what they’re doing!
SpongeBob: Leave it to me, Mr. K. I’ve got the perfect disguise. [At Mr. Krabs’s house, Pearl and her friends are in Pearl's room, laughing and reading magazines. There is a knock on the door. Pearl answers it]
Pearl: Hello? [A girl that looks like SpongeBob is there with her suitcase]
Girly: Hi, I’m here for the slumber party.
Pearl: Do I know you?
Girly: My name is... um... Girly Teengirl!
Girly: Um, I just moved here from... um... Farawayville.
Pearl: I know it’s you, SpongeBob SquarePants!
Girly: I don’t know what you’re talking about! [Pearl pulls her hair and lifts her up into the air] Aaaaah!
Pearl: You were sent to spy on me by my dad! Get him, girls!
Girly: Aaaaah! [The girls start attacking her. Girly soon runs away with fruit being thrown at her]
Girly:[crying] I am so moving back to Farawayville! [SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs drive up in a pizza delivery truck]
Mr. Krabs: Who the heck is that?
SpongeBob: I don’t know, but she is ug-ly! Now to put on that disguise I told you about. [He puts on a phony mustache] Ta-da! Huh? Huh? Huh?
Mr. Krabs: You are one-of-a-kind, boy. [SpongeBob knocks on the door of Mr. Krabs's house, holding a pizza box]
SpongeBob:[with pizza box] Pizza delivery.
Pearl: We didn’t order any pizza!
SpongeBob: Y-You didn’t?
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, tell ‘em it’s from me!
SpongeBob: Your dad sent it. It’s already paid for.
Pearl:[Opens the door] I’d sooner believe space aliens sent me a free pizza before I’d believe my dad would! Now, who are you?
Mr. Krabs: Right, boy! [He drives off without SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: I wanted to come with you, Mr. Krabs. [The girls grab SpongeBob]
Pearl: Get him!
SpongeBob: AHH! [He drops the empty pizza box. It opens]
Pearl: Oh, big surprise. Dad was too cheap to buy real pizza! [Back at SpongeBob’s house, Mr. Krabs is digging through SpongeBob's box in his bedroom]
Mr. Krabs: What’s taking SpongeBob so long? I’m getting tired of looking through his stuff. [There is a knock on the door]
Mr. Krabs:[Answers it] Hello? [Sees the pizza box] Pizza! [SpongeBob, in the shape of a pizza, is inside]
SpopngeBob: I’m sorry, Mr. Krabs. I failed you.
Mr. Krabs: I know, son. [takes a slice of SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Oh, Mr. Krabs, that’s my eye! [Mr. Krabs bites slice, then spits it out]
Mr. Krabs: And it’s ice cold, too. You should have been back here in 30 minutes or less! [takes another slice. At Krabs and Pearl's house, the girls are playing a board game. There is a knock on the door]
Pearl: Who is it?
SpongeBob:[disguised] Piano repair man! [The girls are giggling]
Pearl: Okay! We’ll be right out!
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, it’s working! [Pearl and her friends drop the piano on SpongeBob from the roof]
Pearl: Have it back by tomorrow, OK?
SpongeBob:[squashed] Maybe we should leave them alone, Mr. Krabs. They seem pretty trustworthy.
Mr. Krabs: You get into that party, or you’re fired!
SpongeBob: Yes, Mr. Krabs. [There is another knock on the door of Pearl and Mr. Krabs's house]
Pearl: Whoever could it be this time?
SpongeBob: It’s me, SpongeBob SquarePants. Can we talk, Pearl? Whale to sponge?
Pearl:[to her friends on the roof] Hold the boiling oil! [Her friends groan] What do you want, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Oh, please let me stay at your party! Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please!
SpongeBob: Give me one good reason why I can’t stay!
Pearl: I can give you a hundred million billion reasons!
SpongeBob: Yeesh, I only asked for one.
Pearl: Reason number one: you’re just like my dad!
Pearl: A no-good, dried-up, old fuddy-duddy!
SpongeBob: So if I prove I’m fun, can I stay?
Pearl: Sure, SpongeBob. If you can prove you’re the most fun person on the planet in the next ten seconds, you can stay.
SpongeBob: I only need eight! [He runs inside]
SpongeBob: Whoo! Party! [cranks up record player] Crank it up!
Pearl: Five seconds.
SpongeBob: These old newspapers are confetti in fun hands! Whoo!
Girl 1: I’m allergic to newsprint! [starts blotching] Oh, ow!
Pearl: Two seconds! [Opens up a trap door to Mr. Krabs' root beer cellar. SpongeBob falls inside] OK, OK, I got to admit. That was kinda fun.
Girl 2: I think he’s hurt.
Pearl: He’s not hurt. [SpongeBob groans] See?
Girl 2: Maybe he’s a zombie!
Girl 1: If he comes back as a zombie and eats my brain, I’m totally not going to be your friend anymore! [Pearl closes the trap door]
SpongeBob:[recovers] Ooh, Mr. Krabs’ root beer cellar. [Opens all the root beer kegs which fills up the cellar. SpongeBob absorbs it all. Upstairs, the girls are watching the same movie SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs were watching]
TV Announcer: We now return to Slumber Party Zombie Attack!
Girl on TV: Ahh, a zombie! [A slimy, ugly thing appears on screen]
Pearl: This movie isn’t all that scary!
Girl 1: Yeah, that zombie looks totally fake! [The trap door creaks open, and the girls look. SpongeBob emerges enormous and dripping with root beer, similar to the one on TV]
Girls: Aah! Zombie!
SpongeBob: Fun! [Squirts root beer out of his body]
Girl 3: Aah! [gets soaked by root beer and falls down]
Girl 4: Zombie juice! [gets blasted and falls down]
Girl 5: Aah, run!
Pearl: AHHH! [She narrowly avoids a root beer blast, which soaks some knick-knacks. Root beer starts pouring out of the windows with random girls sliding out]
SpongeBob:[gurgling] Who wants to dance?
Girl 6: No! I already have a zombie boyfriend!
SpongeBob: Let’s boogie! Whoo! [He starts spinning two girls in circles and get thrown out of windows. The house keeps spewing more soda and eventually breaks the door down. The spewing stops as Mr. Krabs pops onto the scene]
Mr. Krabs: What in Neptune’s toupee is going on here? Aah! Me knick-knacks! Aah! Me root beer! [Walks past Pearl] Me pile of old newspapers! [crying] I was maybe gonna read that someday! [to Pearl] I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you!
Pearl: Trusted me? Your employee destroyed this house! [Picks up SpongeBob from inside the record player] The only boy at the party!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?!
SpongeBob:[normal voice] Well, Mr. Krabs, you know how boys are. [Pearl drops him] Ow!
Pearl:[to Mr. Krabs] It’s your fault my party is ruined, and now all my friends have zombie shock syndrome!
Girl 6:[rocking back and forth] I’m too pretty to be a zombie!
Pearl: We were fine with a nice simple slumber party. But now, it’s gonna cost you!
Mr. Krabs: Cost me what?
Mr. Krabs: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!
[At Goo Lagoon, a party is being held by Pearl. There are many people there]
Pearl: Everyone having a good time? [crowd cheering] Well, you can all thank my dad for making this possible! Thank you, daddy! [Mr. Krabs is far away behind a velvet rope. A boss hog is watching him]
Mr. Krabs: You’re welcome, sweetie! [leaning on rope] Oh, this is so expensive!
Boss Hog: You’re not allowed any closer, sir. [SpongeBob appears]
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I think I know what’ll cheer you up. [Puts drinking glass under his armpit and squirts some root beer into it] A mug of ice cold root beer!
Mr. Krabs: No, SpongeBob, that doesn’t cheer me up at all.