Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
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Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "The Masterpiece" from season 7, which aired on October 2, 2010. Mr. Krabs: It's comin' up on that time again! Okay, boy! Fire it up!

SpongeBob: My pleasure Mr. Krabs! (puts gloves on both hands and goggles and gets a key underneath his shoe then puts it on the grill and turns it on like a car) I love this part of the job.

Mr. Krabs: Don't forget the cheese!

SpongeBob: This part ain't bad either! (puts out a cheese slice and opens his face and puts the cheese in and blows them sliced into the plate, positioned like a stack of cards)

Mr. Krabs: Looks good kiddo. Can you do the honors?

SpongeBob: (gasps) Don't you mean?

Mr. Krabs: Oh, I mean!

SpongeBob: (He kneels in front of Mr. Krabs and worships him) Oh, thank you Mr. Krabs! Thank you! Disposed honor, have a privilege that I shall...

Mr. Krabs: What are you goin' about? I let turn the sign every day. (cuts inside in front of the door and SpongeBob arrives in front of the open sign with a suitcase and opens it which reveals ceremonial gloves and puts them on and independence music plays)

SpongeBob: As I put on the ceremonial gloves, I can put the eternal cycle and now redeem the Krusty Krab, open! (turns the sign to open and opens the doors) Patrons, spring forth! The Krusty Krab will now seat you. (However, no one comes)

Mr. Krabs: (storms to SpongBob) Alright, landlubbers! get the net... (gasps) Neptune's blues! Where are me costumers?! Just when the Krabby Patty was just about to go triple platinum', Squidward! Where's... Squidward!

SpongeBob: (takes a peak at the register) No need to shout Mr. Krabs, he's right here. Safely watching his favorite show, as the time turns.

Squidward: (puts his tentacle in front of SpongeBob) Shut it SpongeBob, he is about to reveal his secret. (turns to an old fish)

Fish: You understand', Dim Guppies. Dim's my children.

Squidward: I knew it!

Mr. Krabs: In case you two haven't notice, WE HAVE NO COSTUMERS! Now we're not getting em' back if you two ladies view and watch the TV all day.

Sea Chicken: Cock-a-doodle-yum! ka pook! Rise and shine! For the best restaurant in the sea! (Mr. Krabs sits on Squidward)

Mr. Krabs: Who dares lay claim to the title, best restaurant in the sea?!

Sea Chicken: The Sea Chicken Shack!

Interview Guy: Say, Mr. Sea Chicken, how's that taste of that zesty Sea Chicken sandwich?

Sea Chicken: It's im-peck-able! Ka pook! So come on down to my Sea Chicken Shack. And don't forget the kids! (Some kids go and climb him)

Mr. Krabs: Blimey, this is the first I heard about this Mr. Sea Chicken. There goes me monopoly! SpongeBob?! I need you to go down to the sea chicken shack and investigate,

SpongeBob: Do you need me to go undercover?

Mr. Krabs: Uhh that won't be necessary just look around if there is anything suspicious. (Takes picture of Mr. Krabs)

SpongeBob: How do you like my new arm pit spy cam? Huh huh huh? Oh oh oh! What about my new spy pen, just an ordinary pen, see, see, see. Well, you be mistaken sir because this pen is also a pencil.

Mr. Krabs: Boy, stop acting like that!

SpongeBob: You're right sir who needs a spy pen when you are a master of the undercover arts? I'll blend in with the common men.

(Scene changes to inside of the Sea Chicken Shack)

Mr. Krabs: Mr. Krabs to SpongeBob: do you read me?

SpongeBob: Yes, I do.

Mr. Krabs: Is there anything different about the sea chicken shack?

SpongeBob: Actually it's a little dumpy (looks down to a cheap looking chair) customer safety little accident and that smell it smells like a tuna baked in algae after a marathon.

Charlie: (shows Charlie wearing a marathon number and sweating heavily) Oh, so it's a crime now to exercise.

Mr. Krabs: Yeah, yeah, but what about the food?

Cashier: Next!!

SpongeBob: One of your finest sandwiches please.

Cashier: I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. Please refer to our policy.

SpongeBob: Headbands equal no service barnacles! A disguises' one weakness.

(Grabs SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: Mayday, mayday, mission failed.

(Throws SpongeBob out the door)

Mr. Krabs: Tell me is there anything about the sea chicken shack that might bring me customers back?

SpongeBob: Rather then Mr. Sea Chicken no, holy sea reef!

Mr. Krabs: What is it?

SpongeBob: I see, a huge statue of Mr. Sea Chicken and all his glory!

Mr. Krabs: Tell it to the kids, Mr. Sea Chicken and their parents will follow.

(Scene changes to the Krusty Krab)

Mr. Krabs: Boys, we need someone upon the big talent, some one artsy.

Squidward: He's talking about me.

Mr. Krabs: Do you know anyone who has an artistic bone in their body?

SpongeBob: Oo oo oo! I do.

Mr. Krabs: Larry The Lobster?

SpongeBob: No.

Mr. Krabs: Old Man Jenkins?

SpongeBob: No!

Mr. Krabs: My mom?

SpongeBob: No.

Mr. Krabs: Then who?

Squidward: For the love of Neptune IT'S ME!

SpongeBob: You're right.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, ya! You have the artsy.

Squidward: Ya, but goodbye.

Mr. Krabs: Wait Squidward! We are not alike of my likings would look pretty right?

Squidward: Are you suggesting the krabby patties are art?

Mr. Krabs: Yes.

Squidward: OK, I'll do it.

Mr. Krabs: I need it by tomorrow.

Squidward: Ya ya to tomorrow! Art shouldn't march to a ticking clock, art should take its time.

Mr. Krabs: Get it ready by 8:00 am.

Squidward: Ok, whatever I'll need an assistant.

Mr. Krabs: Here you go.

(Gives Squidward SpongeBob)

Squidward: Ok, assistant, now get me a giant rock so I may sculpt this master piece and don't dilly.

SpongeBob: Here you go.

Squidward: Dally, nice rock.

SpongeBob: I know I can't believe no one was using it.

(Scene shows Spongebob took the rock from a piece of a museum. Museum then collapses)

Squidward: Ok, let's get over this.

Mr. Krabs: Hey hey hey! I'm shy.

Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I'm posing you! Did you think the sculpture is going to make itself? Don't you want the money that the statue is going to bring in?

(Hearing this Mr. Krabs agress)

Mr. Krabs: Oh, ok, how about this? (He makes a pose with one of his claws out to reach)

Squidward: No.

Mr. Krabs: Or this? (poses with a bow and an arrow)

Squidward: No.

Mr. Krabs: Or this? (poses by making a bowling position with a ball)

Squidward: No.

Mr. Krabs: Or this? (poses like the thinker)

Squidward: Nope

Mr. Krabs: Aw come on Squidward. (He holds his arms up and sniffs his arm pits. Squidward examines Mr. Krabs then gets an idea.)

Squidward: Hold that pose! Don't move a muscle!

Mr. Krabs: How long do I have to stay like this?

Squidward: Just as long as it takes.

(Squidward claps, when his tool break; Spongebob gives him a jack hammer and turns it on. The vibration shakes Squidward until his eyeballs fall out. Spongebob turns off the jack hammer. Squidward gives Spongebob an angry look and Spongebob gives him his eyeballs. Squidward continues to look at Mr. Krabs' pose until he sees Spongebob in Mr. Krabs' place. He gestures Spongebob to go get Mr. Krabs and continues to make the sculpture, but accidentally makes Spongebob's face on the sculpture much to his frustration. The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs' office where he is sleeping while he was drinking his coffee. Spongebob bursts into his office, shakes him awake, and tells him to go back to his posing. Mr. Krabs dashes back sending the cloth that was on him on Spongebob. As Squidward still makes the sculpture, Spongebob uses a mini-vacuum to suck up the small particles of marble.)

Mr. Krabs: Squidward, hurry up I going to give out!

Squidward: All done!

Mr. Krabs: All right!

Squidward: You might want to put sun glasses because you will be blinded by my art.

(Mr. Krabs looks, frowns, then shatters)

Mr. Krabs: What's that supposed to be?

Squidward: This is a master piece.

Mr. Krabs: I don't have a mouth in my stomach!

Squidward: This represents the mashing gaping maw of consumerism and the void it creates within us all. I call it oppression.

Mr. Krabs: Whatever that means but is it safe for kids to play on?

Squidward: This is art! Not a swing set!

Mr. Krabs: Well, we should take a test before we let the general republic use it SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Yes sir?!

Mr. Krabs: I need you to frolic'in play on this here doohickey.

Squidward: It is not a doohickey, IT'S ART!

(SpongeBob begins swinging on the statues arm until it falls over on him)

SpongeBob: Wow, it's heavy.

Mr. Krabs: Squidward I can't let kids play on that... that... weapon. I'll get my pants sued off.

Squidward: You wanted a masterpiece and this is what you got.

Mr. Krabs: Oh it's a piece alright, a piece of junk.

SpongeBob: Hold on, I think have a better idea.

Mr. Krabs: Did you hear something?

(Mr. Krabs is now painted gold and kids are playing on him)

Mr. Krabs: Oh how long do I have to stay like this?

Squidward: Just as long as you want to sell this many patties.

SpongeBob: Keep it up sir, you're golden!

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