Changes: The Masterpiece/transcript

Revision as of 04:57, 24 July 2015

	"Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's 'stolen Krabby Patties.'" This transcript is in need of repair. Please help Encyclopedia SpongeBobia by fixing this transcript. Please remove this message when finished.

Template:EpisodeTr/148a

Mr. Krabs: It's comin' up on that time again. Okay, boy, fire her up.
SpongeBob: With pleasure, Mr. Krabs. (puts on rubber gloves and gets the key from underneath his shoe. Puts the key into the stove ignition and turns it on to work like a car. Pushes on the pedal) I love this part of the job.
Mr. Krabs: Don't forget the cheese.
SpongeBob: And this part ain't bad either! (gets out a cheese slice, inserts it into his body, and squirts it out of his holes in square slices)
Mr. Krabs: Looks good, kiddo. You want to do the honors?
SpongeBob: (gasps) You don't mean...
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I mean.
SpongeBob: (gets on his knees and bows to Mr. Krabs) Thank you, Mr. Krabs. Thank you. It is both an honor and a privilege that I shall---
Mr. Krabs: What are you going on about? I let you turn the sign every day. (cut to SpongeBob walking up to the closed sign and puts a briefcase down. Opens it up to put on his 'ceremonial gloves' to turn the sign)
SpongeBob: As I don the ceremonial white gloves, I can continue the eternal cycle and now deem the Krusty Krab...open. (turns the sign from 'closed' to 'open') Patrons, spring forth. (SpongeBob holds the front door open) The Krusty Krab will now seat you. (no one is there)
Mr. Krabs: (storms to SpongeBob) All right, you landlubbers, get the lead-- (gasps) Neptune's jewels! Where are all me costumers? And just when the Krabby Patty was about to go triple platinum. Squidward. Squidward? Squidward!
SpongeBob: (looks behind the counter) No need to shout Mr. Krabs, he's right here, secretly watching his favorite soap, 'As The Tide Turns'.
Squidward: Shut it SpongeBob. Gil is about to reveal his secret.
Gil: You understand? Them Guppies—Them's my children.
Squidward: I knew it!
Mr. Krabs: In case you two haven't noticed, we got no customers! And we're not gonna get 'em back if you two lazy susans sit around the TV all day.
Sea Chicken: (on TV) Cock-a-doodle-yum! (squawks) Rise and shine! We're the best restaurant in the sea!
Mr. Krabs: (jumps on Squidward, squishing him) Who dares lay claim to the title best restaurant in the sea?
Sea Chicken: (on TV) The Sea Chicken Shack!
Announcer: (on TV) Say, Mr. Sea Chicken, how's the flavor of that zesty sea chicken sandwich?
Sea Chicken: (on TV) It's im-peck-able! (squawks) So come on down to my Sea Chicken Shack, and don't forget the kids. (four kids come up to him and hang on him)
Mr. Krabs: Blimey, this is the first I've heard of this Mr. Sea Chicken. There goes me monopoly. But how did he lure away me loyal customers away so fast? SpongeBob, I need you to head over to the Sea Chicken Shack and see what's cookin'.
SpongeBob: You want me to go undercover?
Mr. Krabs: Uh, that won't be necessary, boy. Just look around, see how he's roping in all these customers.
SpongeBob: Understood, Mr. Krabs. (raises his arm and takes a picture with his armpit) How do you like my new armpit spy cam, huh? Huh?
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I don't need a spy.
SpongeBob: Oh, and check this out—a special spy pen! Looks just like a regular pen, right? See? See? See? See? See? See? Just a pen, right? See?
Mr. Krabs: Right.
SpongeBob: Well, you'd be mistaken sir because this pen is also...a pencil. Hmm? Pretty sweet undercover spy stuff, huh, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Boy, stop this nonsense!
SpongeBob: You're right, sir. Who needs a spy pen when you are a master in the undercover arts? I blend in with the common man. Then, like a whisper, I am gone. (cut to Sea Chicken Shack where SpongeBob is in disguise) Yellow Scrubber to Big Red. Come in, Big Red.
Mr. Krabs: Just tell me what you see, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: I am inside. I repeat, I am inside. Nothing of interest to report so far. In fact, it's kind of dumpy. And customer safety... a little lax. (customer sits on a chair but it collapses) And it smells in here like a tuna bathed in algae after running a marathon.
Fish #23: (drenching in sweat after running a marathon) Oh, so it's a crime now to exercise.
Mr. Krabs: What about the food?
SpongeBob: I have infiltrated the line right now, and I'll report back once I obtained sample.
Cashier: Next.
SpongeBob: One of your finest sandwiches, please.
Cashier: I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. Please refer to our policy regarding dress.
SpongeBob: (reads policy) "Headbands equal no service." Barnacles! My disguises' only weakness-- (two employees grab SpongeBob and take him away) Whoa! Mayday, Big Red. Contact has not been established. Mission abort. Mission abort! (employees throw SpongeBob out) Yellow Scrubber to Big Red, I was not able to obtain any intel.
Mr. Krabs: Cut the spy lingo and just tell me, is there anything remarkable about the Sea Chicken Shack?
SpongeBob: Other than the faux dilapidation, not really.
Mr. Krabs: What you're describin' is an absolute dump. Are there any unique or interesting amenities that might attract me customers in any way?
SpongeBob: No. Great barrier reef!
Mr. Krabs: What is it, lad? What do you see?
SpongeBob: I see a huge statue depicting Mr. Sea Chicken and all his glory! (a bunch of kids are climbing on the giant statue)
Mr. Krabs: A statue? How does a statue steal me customers? (static on other end of radio) SpongeBob? SpongeBob? (he's taken his wristband radio off and is now climbing on the giant chicken statue) Of course, Mr. Sea Chicken, you mad trickster, you, cater to the kids and the parents will foll-er. (cut to later at Krusty Krab) Boys, we don't have much time, so I'm gonna make this short and sweet. I need an artist, someone with a vision...
Squidward: Oh, boy.
Mr. Krabs: Someone among us with a big talent...
Squidward: He's talking about me.
Mr. Krabs: Someone to create a glorious, towering statue of my likeness. You guys know anyone around here with an artistic bone in their body?
SpongeBob: (babbling) I do.
Mr. Krabs: Ooh, really? Who?
SpongeBob: Guess.
Mr. Krabs: Um, Larry The Lobster?
SpongeBob: No.
Mr. Krabs: Old Man Jenkins?
SpongeBob: No.
Mr. Krabs: 1-tooth Sally?
SpongeBob: No.
Mr. Krabs: My mom?
SpongeBob: No.
Mr. Krabs: Then who?
Squidward: For the love of all things briny, it's me!
SpongeBob: Correct.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, that's right, Squidward. You do dabble in the doodlin' doodly-doo.
Squidward: For those who care, I am nothing short of an artistic genius.
SpongeBob: Word.
Squidward: Unfortunately, that precludes me from doing any commercial pieces. Good-bye.
Mr. Krabs: Hey, hey, now hold on, Mr. Squidward. You and I aren't that different from each other. We both "make product."
Squidward: Are you suggesting the Krabby Patties are art?
Mr. Krabs: Yes. Squidward, do you have any idea how many people come to the Krusty Krab every day?
Squidward: Oh, I don't know, 12?
Mr. Krabs: Well, that's 12 more seeing your art than yesterday.
Squidward: (sighs) All right, Krabs, I'll do it. But I will need complete artistic control.
Mr. Krabs: You got it, long as it's done by opening tomorrow.
Squidward: Yes, tom—tomorrow!
Mr. Krabs: As advertised.
Squidward: I can't make a work for the ages overnight. Art does not march to a ticking clock. Art shall come when art is good and ready, sir.
Mr. Krabs: If you want the public to experience your cultural input, get it ready by 8:00am.
Squidward: I'll need an assistant.
Mr. Krabs: Here you go. (SpongeBob is Squidward's assistant)
Squidward: Fine. The first thing I need you to do, assistant, is get me a giant stone so that I may sculpt this masterpiece.
SpongeBob: Anything for the artiste.
Squidward: And don't dilly... (SpongeBob pushes a giant stone into the Krusty Krab) ...dally. Nice rock.
SpongeBob: Isn't it? I can't believe no one was using it. (SpongeBob took the rock from a museum, which collapses from not having the rock)
Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna be rich.
Squidward: I'm gonna be famous.
SpongeBob: I'm gonna be Squidward's assistant giant rock fetcher. (cut to later where Mr. Krabs is posing for Squidward)
Squidward: Prepare to be immortalized in stone.
Mr. Krabs: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What do you think you're doing? I'm...shy.
Squidward: I am posing you! Did you think the sculpture was going to make itself? (shot of Mr. Krabs from behind) Don't you want the money this statue's going to bring in? (Mr. Krabs drops the towel)
Mr. Krabs: Like this?
Squidward: Nope.
Mr. Krabs: Or this? (poses with a bow and arrow)
Squidward: Nope.
Mr. Krabs: Or this? (poses with a golden discus)
Squidward: Nope.
Mr. Krabs: Or this? (poses as the thinker)
Squidward: Nope.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, come on, Squidward. (sniffs his armpits)
Squidward: Mm. (gets an idea) Hold that pose! Don't move a muscle. (chuckles)
Mr. Krabs: How long am I gonna have to stay like this?
Squidward: As long as it takes. (Squidward uses various tools for sculpting. SpongeBob poses for a bit but Squidward sends him away. Mr. Krabs grows tired of the post but SpongeBob helps him out by putting a spoon and fork under his arms to help them stay up. Cut to next morning where Squidward gets finished with the sculpture and sighs)
Mr. Krabs: Come on, Squidward, I'm about to give out!
Squidward: All done. (the spoon and fork break into pieces and Mr. Krab's left arm snaps)
Mr. Krabs: Okay, let's see it!
Squidward: Make sure you wear sunglasses, or you may be blinded by my genius.
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, yeah, just show me. (Squidward pulls back the curtain)
Squidward: Voila! (Mr. Krabs frowns after looking it then shatters into pieces)
Mr. Krabs: What's that supposed to be?
Squidward: This is a masterpiece.
Mr. Krabs: I don't have a mouth in my stomach.
Squidward: It represents the gaping, mashing maw of consumerism and the endless cavern it creates within us all. I call it Oppression.
Mr. Krabs: Whatever that means. But is it safe for kids to play on?
Squidward: This is art, not a swing set!
Mr. Krabs: Well, we should do a dry run before we let the general public use it. SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Reporting for duty, sir!
Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna need you to frolic and play on this here doohickey thingy.
Squidward: It is not a doohickey, it's art!
SpongeBob: I read you loud and clear, captain. Loud and clear. (swings on the statue's nose and it falls on top of him) Wow, this is heavy.
Mr. Krabs: Squidward! I can't let kids play on that—that—that weapon. I'm gonna get my pants sued off.
Squidward: What, you wanted a piece or art and that's what you got.
Mr. Krabs: Oh it's a piece all right, a piece of junk!
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, if I may be allowed to float an idea.
Mr. Krabs: Did you hear something? (cut to Mr. Krabs being painted golden and having kids climb on him) Oh, how long do I have to stay like this?
Squidward: As long as you're wanting to sell this many patties. (Mr. Krabs groans)
SpongeBob: I think you look really good, sir. You're golden! (laughs)

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
+{{Transcript-cleanup}}
-{{ITranscript}}
 {{EpisodeTr/148a}}
-'''Mr. Krabs''': It's comin' up on that time again! Okay, boy! Fire it up!
+*'''Mr. Krabs''': It's comin' up on that time again. Okay, boy, fire her up.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' With pleasure, Mr. Krabs. (puts on rubber gloves and gets the key from underneath his shoe. Puts the key into the stove ignition and turns it on to work like a car. Pushes on the pedal) I love this part of the job.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Don't forget the cheese.
-*'''SpongeBob''': My pleasure Mr. Krabs! ''(puts gloves on both hands and goggles and gets a key underneath his shoe then puts it on the grill and turns it on like a car)'' I love this part of the job.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' And this part ain't bad either! (gets out a cheese slice, inserts it into his body, and squirts it out of his holes in square slices)
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Don't forget the cheese!
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Looks good, kiddo. You want to do the honors?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) You don't mean...
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, I mean.
-*'''SpongeBob''': This part ain't bad either! ''(puts out a cheese slice and opens his face and puts the cheese in and blows them sliced into the plate, positioned like a stack of cards)''
+*'''SpongeBob:''' (gets on his knees and bows to Mr. Krabs) Thank you, Mr. Krabs. Thank you. It is both an honor and a privilege that I shall---
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' What are you going on about? I let you turn the sign every day. (cut to SpongeBob walking up to the closed sign and puts a briefcase down. Opens it up to put on his 'ceremonial gloves' to turn the sign)
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Looks good kiddo. Can you do the honors?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' As I don the ceremonial white gloves, I can continue the eternal cycle and now deem the Krusty Krab...open. (turns the sign from 'closed' to 'open') Patrons, spring forth. (SpongeBob holds the front door open) The Krusty Krab will now seat you. (no one is there)
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' (storms to SpongeBob) All right, you landlubbers, get the lead-- (gasps) Neptune's jewels! Where are all me costumers? And just when the Krabby Patty was about to go triple platinum. Squidward. Squidward? Squidward!
-*'''SpongeBob''': ''(gasps)'' Don't you mean?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' (looks behind the counter) No need to shout Mr. Krabs, he's right here, secretly watching his favorite soap, 'As The Tide Turns'.
+*'''Squidward:''' Shut it SpongeBob. Gil is about to reveal his secret.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, I mean!
+*'''Gil:''' You understand? Them Guppies—Them's my children.
+*'''Squidward:''' I knew it!
-*'''SpongeBob''': ''(kneels in front of Mr. Krabs and worships him)'' Oh, thank you Mr. Krabs! Thank you! Disposed honor, have a privilege that I shall...
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' In case you two haven't noticed, we got no customers! And we're not gonna get 'em back if you two lazy susans sit around the TV all day.
+*'''Sea Chicken:''' (on TV) Cock-a-doodle-yum! (squawks) Rise and shine! We're the best restaurant in the sea!
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': What are you goin' about? I let you turn the sign every day. ''(cuts inside in front of the door and SpongeBob arrives in front of the open sign with a suitcase and opens it which reveals ceremonial gloves and puts them on and independence music plays)''
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' (jumps on Squidward, squishing him) Who dares lay claim to the title best restaurant in the sea?
+*'''Sea Chicken:''' (on TV) The Sea Chicken Shack!
-*'''SpongeBob''': As I put on the ceremonial gloves, I can put the eternal cycle and now deem the Krusty Krab, open! ''(turns the sign to open and opens the doors)'' Patrons, spring forth! The Krusty Krab will now seat you. ''(However, no one comes)''
+*'''Announcer:''' (on TV) Say, Mr. Sea Chicken, how's the flavor of that zesty sea chicken sandwich?
+*'''Sea Chicken:''' (on TV) It's im-peck-able! (squawks) So come on down to my Sea Chicken Shack, and don't forget the kids. (four kids come up to him and hang on him)
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': ''(storms to SpongeBob)'' Alright, landlubbers! get the net... ''(gasps)'' Neptune's blues! Where are me costumers?! Just when the Krabby Patty was just about to go triple platinum', Squidward! Where's... Squidward!
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Blimey, this is the first I've heard of this Mr. Sea Chicken. There goes me monopoly. But how did he lure away me loyal customers away so fast? SpongeBob, I need you to head over to the Sea Chicken Shack and see what's cookin'.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' You want me to go undercover?
-*'''SpongeBob''': ''(takes a peek at the register)'' No need to shout Mr. Krabs, he's right here. Safely watching his favorite show, As The Tide Turns
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Uh, that won't be necessary, boy. Just look around, see how he's roping in all these customers.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Understood, Mr. Krabs. (raises his arm and takes a picture with his armpit) How do you like my new armpit spy cam, huh? Huh?
-*'''Squidward''':'' (puts his tentacle in front of SpongeBob)'' Shut it SpongeBob, he is about to reveal his secret. ''(turns to an old fish)''
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob, I don't need a spy.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, and check this out—a special spy pen! Looks just like a regular pen, right? See? See? See? See? See? See? Just a pen, right? See?
-*'''Fish''': You understand', Dim Guppies. Dim's my children.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Right.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Well, you'd be mistaken sir because this pen is also...a pencil. Hmm? Pretty sweet undercover spy stuff, huh, Mr. Krabs?
-*'''Squidward''': I knew it!
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Boy, stop this nonsense!
+*'''SpongeBob:''' You're right, sir. Who needs a spy pen when you are a master in the undercover arts? I blend in with the common man. Then, like a whisper, I am gone. (cut to Sea Chicken Shack where SpongeBob is in disguise) Yellow Scrubber to Big Red. Come in, Big Red.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': In case you two haven't notice, WE HAVE NO CUSTOMERS! Now we're not getting em' back if you two ladies view and watch the TV all day.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Just tell me what you see, SpongeBob.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' I am inside. I repeat, I am inside. Nothing of interest to report so far. In fact, it's kind of dumpy. And customer safety... a little lax. (customer sits on a chair but it collapses) And it smells in here like a tuna bathed in algae after running a marathon.
-*'''Sea Chicken''': Cock-a-doodle-yum! ka pook! Rise and shine! For the best restaurant in the sea! ''(Mr. Krabs sits on Squidward)''
+*'''Fish #23:''' (drenching in sweat after running a marathon) Oh, so it's a crime now to exercise.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Who dares lay claim to the title, best restaurant in the sea?!
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' What about the food?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' I have infiltrated the line right now, and I'll report back once I obtained sample.
+*'''Cashier:''' Next.
-*'''Sea Chicken''': The Sea Chicken Shack!
+*'''SpongeBob:''' One of your finest sandwiches, please.
-*'''Interview Guy''': Say, Mr. Sea Chicken, how's that taste of that zesty Sea Chicken sandwich?
+*'''Cashier:''' I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. Please refer to our policy regarding dress.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' (reads policy) "Headbands equal no service." Barnacles! My disguises' only weakness-- (two employees grab SpongeBob and take him away) Whoa! Mayday, Big Red. Contact has not been established. Mission abort. Mission abort! (employees throw SpongeBob out) Yellow Scrubber to Big Red, I was not able to obtain any intel.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Cut the spy lingo and just tell me, is there anything remarkable about the Sea Chicken Shack?
-*'''Sea Chicken''': It's im-peck-able! Ka pook! So come on down to my Sea Chicken Shack. And don't forget the kids! ''(Some kids go and climb him)''
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Other than the faux dilapidation, not really.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' What you're describin' is an absolute dump. Are there any unique or interesting amenities that might attract me customers in any way?
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Blimey, this is the first I heard about this Mr. Sea Chicken. There goes me monopoly! SpongeBob?! I need you to go down to the sea chicken shack and investigate,
+*'''SpongeBob:''' No. Great barrier reef!
-*'''SpongeBob''': Do you need me to go undercover?
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' What is it, lad? What do you see?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' I see a huge statue depicting Mr. Sea Chicken and all his glory! (a bunch of kids are climbing on the giant statue)
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' A statue? How does a statue steal me customers? (static on other end of radio) SpongeBob? SpongeBob? (he's taken his wristband radio off and is now climbing on the giant chicken statue) Of course, Mr. Sea Chicken, you mad trickster, you, cater to the kids and the parents will foll-er. (cut to later at Krusty Krab) Boys, we don't have much time, so I'm gonna make this short and sweet. I need an artist, someone with a vision...
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Uhh that won't be necessary just look around if there is anything suspicious. ''(Takes picture of Mr. Krabs)''
+*'''Squidward:''' Oh, boy.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Someone among us with a big talent...
-*'''SpongeBob''': How do you like my new arm pit spy cam? Huh huh huh? Oh oh oh! What about my new spy pen, just an ordinary pen, see, see, see. Well, you be mistaken sir because this pen is also a pencil.
+*'''Squidward:''' He's talking about me.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Someone to create a glorious, towering statue of my likeness. You guys know anyone around here with an artistic bone in their body?
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Boy, stop acting like that!
+*'''SpongeBob:''' (babbling) I do.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ooh, really? Who?
-*'''SpongeBob''': You're right sir who needs a spy pen when you are a master of the undercover arts? I'll blend in with the common men.
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Guess.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Um, Larry The Lobster?
-*''(Scene changes to inside of the Sea Chicken Shack)''
+*'''SpongeBob:''' No.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Mr. Krabs to SpongeBob: do you read me?
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Old Man Jenkins?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' No.
-*'''SpongeBob''': Yes, I do.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' 1-tooth Sally?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' No.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Is there anything different about the sea chicken shack?
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' My mom?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' No.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Then who?
-*'''SpongeBob''': Actually it's a little dumpy ''(looks down to a cheap looking chair)'' customer safety little accident and that smell it smells like a tuna baked in algae after a marathon.
+*'''Squidward:''' For the love of all things briny, it's me!
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Correct.
-*'''Charlie''': ''(shows Charlie wearing a marathon number and sweating heavily)'' Oh, so it's a crime now to exercise.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, that's right, Squidward. You do dabble in the doodlin' doodly-doo.
+*'''Squidward:''' For those who care, I am nothing short of an artistic genius.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Yeah, yeah, but what about the food?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Word.
+*'''Squidward:''' Unfortunately, that precludes me from doing any commercial pieces. Good-bye.
-*'''Cashier''': Next.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hey, hey, now hold on, Mr. Squidward. You and I aren't that different from each other. We both "make product."
+*'''Squidward:''' Are you suggesting the Krabby Patties are art?
-*'''SpongeBob''': One of your finest sandwiches please.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yes. Squidward, do you have any idea how many people come to the Krusty Krab every day?
-*'''Cashier''': I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. Please refer to our policy.
+*'''Squidward:''' Oh, I don't know, 12?
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, that's 12 more seeing your art than yesterday.
+*'''Squidward:''' (sighs) All right, Krabs, I'll do it. But I will need complete artistic control.
-*'''SpongeBob''': Headbands equal no service barnacles! A disguises' one weakness.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' You got it, long as it's done by opening tomorrow.
+*'''Squidward:''' Yes, tom—tomorrow!
-*''(Grabs SpongeBob)''
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' As advertised.
+*'''Squidward:''' I can't make a work for the ages overnight. Art does not march to a ticking clock. Art shall come when art is good and ready, sir.
-*'''SpongeBob''': Mayday, mayday, mission failed.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' If you want the public to experience your cultural input, get it ready by 8:00am.
+*'''Squidward:''' I'll need an assistant.
-*''(Throws SpongeBob out the door)''
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Here you go. (SpongeBob is Squidward's assistant)
+*'''Squidward:''' Fine. The first thing I need you to do, assistant, is get me a giant stone so that I may sculpt this masterpiece.
-*'''Mr. Krab''''''s''': Tell me is there anything about the sea chicken shack that might bring me customers back?
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Anything for the artiste.
+*'''Squidward:''' And don't dilly... (SpongeBob pushes a giant stone into the Krusty Krab) ...dally. Nice rock.
-*'''SpongeBob''': Rather then Mr. Sea Chicken no, holy sea reef!
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Isn't it? I can't believe no one was using it. (SpongeBob took the rock from a museum, which collapses from not having the rock)
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': What is it?
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm gonna be rich.
+*'''Squidward:''' I'm gonna be famous.
-*'''SpongeBob''': I see, a huge statue of Mr. Sea Chicken and all his glory!
+*'''SpongeBob:''' I'm gonna be Squidward's assistant giant rock fetcher. (cut to later where Mr. Krabs is posing for Squidward)
+*'''Squidward:''' Prepare to be immortalized in stone.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Tell it to the kids, Mr. Sea Chicken and their parents will follow.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What do you think you're doing? I'm...shy.
+*'''Squidward:''' I am posing you! Did you think the sculpture was going to make itself? (shot of Mr. Krabs from behind) Don't you want the money this statue's going to bring in? (Mr. Krabs drops the towel)
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Like this?
-*''(Scene changes to the Krusty Krab)''
+*'''Squidward:''' Nope.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Boys, we need someone upon the big talent, some one artsy.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Or this? (poses with a bow and arrow)
+*'''Squidward:''' Nope.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Or this? (poses with a golden discus)
-*'''Squidward''': He's talking about me.
+*'''Squidward:''' Nope.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Do you know anyone who has an artistic bone in their body?
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Or this? (poses as the thinker)
+*'''Squidward:''' Nope.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, come on, Squidward. (sniffs his armpits)
-*'''SpongeBob''': Oo oo oo! I do.
+*'''Squidward:''' Mm. (gets an idea) Hold that pose! Don't move a muscle. (chuckles)
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Larry The Lobster?
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' How long am I gonna have to stay like this?
+*'''Squidward:''' As long as it takes. (Squidward uses various tools for sculpting. SpongeBob poses for a bit but Squidward sends him away. Mr. Krabs grows tired of the post but SpongeBob helps him out by putting a spoon and fork under his arms to help them stay up. Cut to next morning where Squidward gets finished with the sculpture and sighs)
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Come on, Squidward, I'm about to give out!
-*'''SpongeBob''': No.
+*'''Squidward:''' All done. (the spoon and fork break into pieces and Mr. Krab's left arm snaps)
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Old Man Jenkins?
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Okay, let's see it!
+*'''Squidward:''' Make sure you wear sunglasses, or you may be blinded by my genius.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah, yeah, just show me. (Squidward pulls back the curtain)
-*'''SpongeBob''': No!
+*'''Squidward:''' Voila! (Mr. Krabs frowns after looking it then shatters into pieces)
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': My mom?
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' What's that supposed to be?
+*'''Squidward:''' This is a masterpiece.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' I don't have a mouth in my stomach.
-*'''SpongeBob''': No.
+*'''Squidward:''' It represents the gaping, mashing maw of consumerism and the endless cavern it creates within us all. I call it Oppression.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Then who?
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Whatever that means. But is it safe for kids to play on?
+*'''Squidward:''' This is art, not a swing set!
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, we should do a dry run before we let the general public use it. SpongeBob!
-*'''Squidward''': For the love of Neptune IT'S ME!
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Reporting for duty, sir!
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm gonna need you to frolic and play on this here doohickey thingy.
-*'''SpongeBob''': You're right.
+*'''Squidward:''' It is not a doohickey, it's art!
+*'''SpongeBob:''' I read you loud and clear, captain. Loud and clear. (swings on the statue's nose and it falls on top of him) Wow, this is heavy.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, ya! You have the artsy.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Squidward! I can't let kids play on that—that—that weapon. I'm gonna get my pants sued off.
-*'''Squidward''': Ya, but goodbye.
+*'''Squidward:''' What, you wanted a piece or art and that's what you got.
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh it's a piece all right, a piece of junk!
+*'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs, if I may be allowed to float an idea.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Wait Squidward! We are not alike of my likings would look pretty right?
+*'''Mr. Krabs:''' Did you hear something? (cut to Mr. Krabs being painted golden and having kids climb on him) Oh, how long do I have to stay like this?
-*'''Squidward''': Are you suggesting the krabby patties are art?
+*'''Squidward:''' As long as you're wanting to sell this many patties. (Mr. Krabs groans)
+*'''SpongeBob:''' I think you look really good, sir. You're golden! (laughs)
+[[Category:Episode transcripts]]
-*'''Mr. Krab'''<span style="font-weight: bold;">s</span>: Yes.
-*'''Squidward''': OK, I'll do it.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': I need it by tomorrow.
-*'''Squidward''': Ya ya to tomorrow! Art shouldn't march to a ticking clock, art should take its time.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Get it ready by 8:00 am.
-*'''Squidward''': Ok, whatever I'll need an assistant.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Here you go.
-*''(Gives Squidward SpongeBob)''
-*'''Squidward''': Ok, assistant, now get me a giant rock so I may sculpt this master piece and don't dilly.
-*'''SpongeBob''': Here you go.
-*'''Squidward''': Dally, nice rock.
-*'''SpongeBob''': I know I can't believe no one was using it.
-*''(Scene shows SpongeBob took the rock from a piece of a museum. Museum then collapses)''
-*'''Squidward''': Ok, let's get over this.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Hey hey hey! I'm shy.
-*'''Squidward''': Mr. Krabs, I'm posing you! Did you think the sculpture is going to make itself? Don't you want the money that the statue is going to bring in?
-*''(Hearing this Mr. Krabs agress)''
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, ok, how about this? ''(He makes a pose with one of his claws out to reach)''
-*'''Squidward''': No.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Or this? ''(poses with a bow and an arrow)''
-*'''Squidward''': No.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Or this? ''(poses by making a bowling position with a ball)''
-*'''Squidward''': No.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Or this? ''(poses like the thinker)''
-*'''Squidward''': Nope
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Aw come on Squidward. ''(He holds his arms up and sniffs his arm pits. Squidward examines Mr. Krabs then gets an idea.)''
-*'''Squidward''': Hold that pose! Don't move a muscle!
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': How long do I have to stay like this?
-*'''Squidward''': Just as long as it takes.
-*''(Squidward claps, when his tool break; SpongeBob gives him a jack hammer and turns it on. The vibration shakes Squidward until his eyeballs fall out. SpongeBob turns off the jack hammer. Squidward gives SpongeBob an angry look and SpongeBob gives him his eyeballs. Squidward continues to look at Mr. Krabs' pose until he sees SpongeBob in Mr. Krabs' place. He gestures SpongeBob to go get Mr. Krabs and continues to make the sculpture, but accidentally makes SpongeBob's face on the sculpture much to his frustration. The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs' office where he is sleeping while he was drinking his coffee. SpongeBob bursts into his office, shakes him awake, and tells him to go back to his posing. Mr. Krabs dashes back sending the cloth that was on him on SpongeBob. As Squidward still makes the sculpture, SpongeBob uses a mini-vacuum to suck up the small particles of marble.)''
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Squidward, hurry up I going to give out!
-*'''Squidward''': All done!
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': All right!
-*'''Squidward''': You might want to put sun glasses because you will be blinded by my art.
-*''(Mr. Krabs looks, frowns, then shatters)''
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': What's that supposed to be?
-*'''Squidward''': This is a master piece.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': I don't have a mouth in my stomach!
-*'''Squidward''': This represents the mashing gaping maw of consumerism and the void it creates within us all. I call it oppression.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Whatever that means but is it safe for kids to play on?
-*'''Squidward''': This is art! Not a swing set!
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, we should take a test before we let the general republic use it SpongeBob!
-*'''SpongeBob''': Yes sir?!
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': I need you to frolic'n play on this here doohickey.
-*'''Squidward''': It is not a doohickey, IT'S ART!
-*''(SpongeBob begins swinging on the statues arm until it falls over on him)''
-*'''SpongeBob''': Wow, this is heavy.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Squidward, I can't let kids play on that... that... weapon. I'll get my pants sued off.
-*'''Squidward''': You wanted a masterpiece and this is what you got.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh it's a piece alright, a piece of junk.
-*'''SpongeBob''': Hold on, I think have a better idea.
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Did you hear something?
-*''(Mr. Krabs is now painted gold and kids are playing on him)''
-*'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh how long do I have to stay like this?
-*'''Squidward''': Just as long as you want to sell this many patties.
-*'''SpongeBob''': Keep it up sir, you're golden!
-[[Category:Transcripts]]