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The Main Drain
Season №: 7
Episode №: 141b
Airdate: January 28, 2011
Previous: "The Curse of the Hex"
Next: "Trenchbillies"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "The Main Drain" from season seven, which aired on January 28, 2011.

  • [At the Krusty Krab, we see SpongeBob coming out of the freezer with a Krabby Patty]
  • SpongeBob: Nothing like a fresh frozen Krabby Patty with extra freezer burn flavor. [His nose breaks off. He walks up to the grill] Here we go...[Interrupts himself of the sight of the filthy grill. He takes his finger and observes part of the filth] Hmm, grill look a tad dirty. [Cuts to the counter with a customer]
  • Customer: Yeah, I like to order...[Gets interrupted by a noise from the kitchen]
  • Squidward: Hold that thought. [SpongeBob is cleaning the grill with a red sponge. Squidward pops his head in the window] SpongeBob, what is all that r...[SpongeBob cleans Squidward's face, he goes back to the counter with his face all dirty]
  • Customer: Uh, so I like to order...[Squidward closes his mouth, hushing him. Back in the kitchen, the grill is all cleaned. SpongeBob places the red sponge in his tongue]
  • SpongeBob: [Pops his head out the window] Say! Who wants...the first patty from our freshly cleaned grill?! [Hyperventilates excitedly]
  • Customer: [Delighted] I would like a Krabby Patty.!
  • SpongeBob: Okay! How about you, Squid-
  • Squidward: No! I do not want a Krabby Patty!
  • SpongeBob: [Touching Squid's nose] You suuure?
  • Squidward: Don't touch me.
  • Customer: Why don't you want a Krabby Patty?
  • Squidward: I've seen what he cleans the grill with. [Cuts to the kitchen]
  • SpongeBob: Now all I need is a fresh patty. [Walks to the freezer and screams when he is slipping on water. Out the door, he made a path of water, grabs a pole, and slides back to the kitchen continues screaming, closing the door. He is now lying down]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, where'd all this water come from? [He noticed the sink was running. He walks up to it and turns it off] There we go. Oh my stars and garters, the sink is clogged up. [He places a "Wet Floor" sign] Safety. [Walks back to the sink] Now what seem to be the trouble? [He heard somebody tripped. SpongeBob walks up to that person, which was Patrick] Patrick, what happened? [Patrick sits up]
  • Patrick: There I was, walking along, just minding my own business and then BOOM! [Takes out the "Wet Floor" sign] Some dumbbell put this thing in the way. [Throws the sign out and gets up] Whatcha doing?
  • SpongeBob: Trying to see what has this sink all backed up. Would you excuse me a second?
  • Patrick: Uh-huh. [SpongeBob inhales for breath and holds it. He dives his head into the sink and then he saw a drain plug]
  • SpongeBob: [Gurgling] Ah-ha! [Takes his head out of the sink] Oh, this is easy. All I have to do is pull the drain plug. [Repeating as the scene goes to Mr. Krabs' office while he is writing] Pull the drain plug. Pull the drain plug. Pull the drain plug. The drain plug. The drain plug. The drain plug.[Mr. Krabs' eyes are bloodshot in fright] The drain plug.
  • Mr. Krabs: [Frighten] THE DRAIN PLUG!?!?!? [Cuts to SpongeBob, trying to pull the drain plug. Mr. Krabs rushed to SpongeBob] SpongeBob!!! [SpongeBob gets startled and he jumps up to the ceiling, hitting his head. Then he falls down to the floor] What in Neptune's bathtub do you think you're doing, lad?
  • SpongeBob: The sink is clogged, so I was going to pull out the drain plug. [Mr. Krabs smacks his hand]
  • Mr. Krabs: Stop messing with that drain plug! Are you daft?
  • SpongeBob: Why don't you want me to pull out the drain plug, Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr Krabs: Why don't I, sec. [Walks to a light switch and turns it off. Then he walks back] Time for a scary story boys. The story...[Takes out a flashlight and shines to his face]...[Spooky tone]of the Main Drain. [He hears ominous music from Patrick's radio] Patrick.
  • Patrick: Sorry. [Turns off his radio]
  • Mr. Krabs: As I was saying...[Takes out the flashlight and shines to his face again] It happened a long time ago...[He hears ominous music from Patrick's radio again] Patrick! [Patrick turns it off again] a pair of little kids.
  • Patrick: [Scared] Two little kids? [Crying]
  • Mr. Krabs: Anyway, [Takes out the flashlight and shines to his face again] it said that the Main Drain beckoned to them, putting them under its spell. [A flashback appears. In it, we see two kids, an orange fish and a green fish, running and laughing]
  • Green Kid: ♪Dadadada-dum-da-dumdumdum.♪
  • Orange Kid: Whooooo.
  • Mr. Krabs: [Narrating] One day, those two kids were wandering through the ocean, when they stumble upon it. [The kids found a giant drain plug]
  • Kids: Huh?
  • Mr. Krabs: [Spooky tone] The Main Drain.
  • Kids: [They laughed together and then they are about to pull it]
  • Mr. Krabs: Legend has it that their curiosity got the best of 'em. [The kids pulled the plug and tossed it into the air] And they pulled the plug. [A white tornado sucked the orange kid in] The entire ocean rusted in the drain and sucked those two kids right down. [The green kid escapes by running away, and then the tornado sucked the green kid but gets stuck and then, white arms pushes the green kid in] The drain was so powerful, it pulled all of Bikini Bottom into its gaping maw, causing an apocalypse to the sea! [The drain sucked everything in the ocean, including the water. As the flashback ends, we fade back to Mr. Krabs] And nobody was ever heard from...again.
  • SpongeBob: [Turns the light back on] Where is the Main Drain, Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: Well it right, I...I don't know where it is, and I'm certainly not going to tell you. [Pushes SpongeBob and Patrick out of the restaurant] So, so, so get out of here and stay away from that drain! No plugs will be pulled on my watch. [Closes the door]
  • Patrick: Mr. Krabs sure has a lot of baggage about drain dealies.
  • SpongeBob: The Main Drain sounds very, very dangerous. I'm never gonna go near that thing.
  • Patrick: We should go find it! To protect it from people like us.
  • SpongeBob: What if we get sucked in like those other two kids!
  • Patrick: Ohh, don't worry, we're not little kids. We're all grown up! [pulls his tooth out] Hey! A baby tooth!
  • SpongeBob: Who's been at Bikini Bottom for as long as Mr. Krabs?
  • [The two hear a crunching sound, as SpongeBob has just stepped on Plankton]
  • Plankton: Owwwww!
  • Patrick: Ewwwwww...
  • SpongeBob: [Looks at shoe and sees squished Plankton] Oh, Hi Plankton!
  • [SpongeBob peels him off of his shoe, taking off skin]
  • Patrick: Let's ask Plankton. He's a geezer.
  • Plankton: What stupid question do you want the answer to? Idiots.
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, and I are trying to find the Main Drain
  • Plankton: [gasps] The Main Drain? What are you to bothering me for? I mean I-I don't know where the Main Drain is. It's a myth anyway, it doesn't exist.
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, but Mr. Krabs said-
  • Plankton: Krabs?! Why that- Well, he was just telling you a fish tail. There's no such thing as a Drain at the bottom of the sea. So go on, scram, shoe, get outta here!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick walk away]
  • Plankton: Why on earth would Krabs tell those two blunderers about the Main Drain?
  • [Cuts to downtown Bikini Bottom where SpongeBob and Patrick are walking]
  • SpongeBob: I wonder who else knows about the Main Drain...
  • [Old Man Jenkins pulls SpongeBob and Patrick in his house]
  • Both: [shocked] Old Man Jenkins!
  • Old Man Jenkins: Why are you two asking about the Main Drain?
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs told us a story of how the Main Drain once destroyed Bikini Bottom.
  • Patrick: So we've been looking for it!
  • SpongeBob: Does the Main Drain even exist?
  • Old Man Jenkins: Ohhhh, it exists alright. But it's been...uhhh...[whispers] hushed up.
  • SpongeBob: [whispers] Where is the Drain oh, wise Jenkins?
  • Old Man Jenkins: I have no idea.
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick walk out of his house]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick! We need to find that Drain!
  • Patrick: Why?
  • SpongeBob: Isn't your curiosity piqued? What if somebody accidentally pulls it? What if- What if-
  • Patrick: [SpongeBob: blah blah blah blah blah. in his mind] Oh man, I hope this question;s not for me. I hate questions.
  • SpongeBob: What do you think, Patrick?
  • Patrick: Dah-uhhh! 42. No, triangle! Meatballs! Screwdrivers! Pajamas! [starts crying]
  • SpongeBob: I hear ya' Patrick! Let's go find that Main Drain!
  • Patrick: Okay.
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick pack to go on a trip]
  • SpongeBob: Let's start walkin'
  • Patrick: Oh, no thanks. I'm not into the whole walking thing.
  • SpongeBob: But, Patrick how are we gonna get to the center of the ocean?
  • Patrick: Wait for it to come to us.
  • SpongeBob: Hmmmm...I have a better idea! [blows a bubble of a bus] Well, what do you think?
  • Patrick: I love it!
  • Both: [laughs] ROAD TRIP!! WOAAAAAH!!!! [bubble pops and they fall]
  • SpongeBob: Well, that's out.
  • Both: Hmmmm...
  • SpongeBob: I know!! [blows another bubble of six large balloons. SpongeBob and Patrick set them up on Patrick's rock. They float away. Many clams acted liked birds come bye and pop all of the bubble balloons]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [they and the rock plummet while the both of them scream] AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
  • Squidward: [walking] Another miserable day...[sighs. The rock falls on Squidward]
  • SpongeBob: Ohh. How are we gonna find the center of the ocean now?
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Hmmmmm...
  • Patrick: Oh! Oh! I know exactly what to do! [grabs rope of the rock and bites it] NEEIIGGHH [begins crawling slowly]
  • Squidward: Owwwwwww. That's better...
  • [Patrick continues to pull the rock. getting faster]
  • SpongeBob: Doin' great Patrick! We'll be there in no time!
  • Patrick: [runs into something and hits it] Owww. Oh. [rubbing head. It was the Main Plug] Huh, I found it!
  • SpongeBob: Wow. Good job...
  • Patrick: Let's pull it.
  • SpongeBob: WHAT?!?!?! Why would we do that?!
  • Patrick: Well, that was the whole point of coming here right?
  • SpongeBob: NOOO!!!! We came to see if it was real!
  • Patrick: Well, how do we know if this one is a fake?
  • SpongeBob: We- We don't know...
  • Patrick: We won't know unless we pull it!
  • SpongeBob: But...if we pull it, and if it's real, the world may end!
  • Patrick: And if we don't, we'll never know...
  • [The camera changes back and forth between shots of SpongeBob's scared face and shots of Patrick reaching for the handle until Mr. Krabs and Plankton stopped them]
  • Mr. Krabs: Boys, there's more to that story about the Drain! You see...
  • Plankton: We were the two ding-a-lings who pulled that plug.
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [gasp]
  • Mr. Krabs: That's right one day, Plankton and I were wandering around.
  • [Another flashback appears which was almost the same as Mr. Krabs' first story]
  • Young Krabs and Plankton: [running and laughing] Huh? [finds the Drain. laughed together. both pull the Drain and thrower it into the air]
  • Young Plankton: [screams while the same white tornado sucked him in]
  • Young Krabs: [runs away to escape] Mother of pearl! [the tornado sucked him into the drain as well. All of Bikini Bottom and the water gets sucked into the Drain. Fade back to Mr. Krabs and Plankton]
  • Mr. Krabs: You see, we had to lie to keep you from lookin' for it.
  • Plankton: We just didn't want you to make the same mistake we made.
  • SpongeBob: Pheeeww. That was a close one...
  • Patrick: Yeah, We almost messed up big time. Pheeeww. [accidentally pulls the drain and then, the same white tornado from Mr. Krabs's stories appears]
  • SpongeBob: Huh? [notices the tornado sucked everything from Bikini Bottom]
  • SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs and Plankton: [all screaming, running away together, but leaving Patrick behind]
  • Patrick: [screaming while still seeing the drain, then runs away, heading for SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Plankton but then, all four of them are about to get sucked into the drain but gets stuck. Then, they slowly got pushed into the drain and they got sucked in the drain followed by four tall blue houses and then, the rest of the Bikni Bottom and the rest of the Bikini Bottomites]
  • Bikini Bottomies: [screaming while spining into a big black hole and they disappear.] [Patrick sits up in bed]
  • Patrick: [screams] It's the most realistic story I've ever heard! [hears the water sucked into the sink]

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