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The Inside Job
Season №: 7
Episode №: 129b
Airdate: July 19, 2009
Previous: "Someone's in the Kitchen with Sandy"
Next: "Greasy Buffoons"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "The Inside Job" from season seven, which aired on July 19, 2009.

  • [the screen displays a hamster running in exercise wheel with carnival music]
  • Plankton: Eh, that's the life.
  • Karen: [screen changes to herself] Plankton!
  • Plankton: Hey, I was watching that!
  • Karen: And I'm tired of watching you sit around all day. Admit it, the Chum Bucket is a total failure.
  • Plankton: It is not! Business is just slow.
  • Karen: Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah. If you'd take my advice, the Krabby Patty recipe would be yours.
  • Plankton: You? You're just a computer. I'm the evil genius around here.
  • Man: [door bangs open] This is it, son, The Chum Bucket.
  • Plankton: Looks like this failure has a customer. Hello. Are you lost?
  • Man: No, we're not lost. I promised my boy I'd take him to the Chum Bucket today.
  • Plankton: Really?
  • Man: Wow, look at that order window! It's completely covered in grime and filth.
  • Kid: Cool.
  • Man: [he smells it] Smell that air!
  • Kid: It makes me want to hurl.
  • Man: I think the Chum Bucket is the high point of our tour.
  • Plankton: Your tour?
  • Man: That's right. We're visiting the most disgusting places in bikini bottom. And so far, you're number one. Farewell, you filthy little fella. [the two leave]
  • Man: So What do ya say we try the city dump next?
  • Kid: Oh, boy.
  • Plankton: Groan.
  • Karen: So how'd it go?
  • Plankton: You're right. I'm such a failure.
  • Karen: So, do you give up?
  • Plankton: Yes.
  • Karen: You'll do what I tell you now?
  • Plankton: Yes.
  • Karen: Here's all you have to do. You want the patty recipe, then go to the man who wrote it, Eugene Krabs.
  • Plankton: Right. Why didn't I think of that before?
  • Karen: With my mind connector, you'll be able to read Krabs' mind, transferring the recipe directly into your teeny, tiny, little brain.
  • Plankton: Wow, that's a pretty good idea. Whoa! Um, Karen? Whoa!
  • Karen: Hold still.
  • Plankton: Mmph!
  • Karen: You'll need this. [puts a smaller tool with plungers attached at the end]
  • Plankton: And just how am I supposed to attach it to Krabs' brain?
  • Karen: Leave that to me, hon.
  • [Doors burst open]
  • Karen: Prepare for launch. Target in range. Launch sequence initiated.
  • Plankton: No! Wait!
  • Plankton: There he is! [launches him to Mr. Krabs, but Squidward is carrying a garbage bag] Get out of the way! This is it! [Patrick walks at outside] Move it! Ha, ha! You're mine!
  • [It is SpongeBob that was holding a cardboard cutout of Mr. Krabs]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, where do you want this life-size cutout of you, Mr. Krabs?
  • Plankton: No! [gets inside SpongeBob and screams]
  • Mr. Krabs: [offscreen] I told ya to stop playing with that thing and get back to work.
  • Plankton: Ugh. great.
  • Karen: [antenna comes out] Plankton, what happened?
  • Plankton: Thanks to your brilliant aim, honey, I'm stuck inside that fool of a fry cook.
  • Karen: Well,honey, you'll just have to change plans. Plug into his Eyes to See what's Going On Outside.
  • [Plankton unplugs SpongeBob's eye plugs]
  • SpongeBob: Huh? [his eyes go completely black as a bulb] Hey, Squidward, we blew a fuse!
  • Squidward: I'm gonna blow a fuse if you don't get that order up.
  • Plankton: [plugs himself with SpongeBob eye plugs, his eye glow in the dark] It worked! I can see everything SpongeBob sees.
  • SpongeBob: Hey, can somebody hit the lights?
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, where's the Krabby Patty for order 17?
  • SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, is that you? Oh, it's so dark in here. I can't see a thing.
  • Squidward: Can you just get the Krabby Patty?
  • SpongeBob: Sure thing Squidward. One Krabby Patty coming up!
  • Plankton: Oh Boy! He's gonna make a Krabby Patty in front Of my eyes!
  • SpongeBob: [makes a different Krabby Patty, he uses the two pink sponges, aluminum] Oh, nuh-uh. Nuh, no. Ah, there you are, patty! Add one fluffy bun like so and a squirt of special sauce [uses the soap into the "Krabby Patty"].
  • Plankton: Heh, heh, special sauce. Wait, soap is the special sauce?
  • SpongeBob: Then you grab yourself some lettuce. [takes out strings from the mop] And voilà! One perfect Krabby Patty! I only wish I could see how beautiful it looks. Number 17, your patty is ready. Whoa. Watch your step, Squidward. It is pitch black out here.
  • Squidward: Don't know, don't want to.
  • [he pulls a customer's face and then searches in his mouth]
  • SpongeBob: Order number 17. Order number 17? Order 17? Order 17.
  • Plankton: That's it! I'm going somewhere else. [plugs back SpongeBob's eye plugs] Where are those ear drums? [SpongeBob's eyes turn back on]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, the lights are back on. [SpongeBob screams as he saw the "Krabby Patty" that he just made.] Mr. Krabs! Help me, Mr. Krabs. I've forgotten how to make Krabby Patties. Please tell me the secret recipe again.
  • Mr. Krabs: Need a little refresher, eh? Okay, boy. I'll run through the Krabby Patty formula one more time.
  • [Plankton unplugs the ear plugs, turning it to silent]
  • Plankton: Let me see what I can tune in here. Hmm.
  • Mr. Krabs: The secret of the Krabby Patty formula. Jackpot!
  • Plankton: Huh?
  • SpongeBob: I said, could you speak a little louder, please?
  • Mr. Krabs: The secret to the Krabby Patty formula-
  • SpongeBob: What?
  • Mr. Krabs: Hold on.
  • Plankton: Here it comes.
  • Mr. Krabs: [into a megaphone] The secret to the Krabby Patty formula is...!
  • Plankton: [screams as two drums come out, making Plankton becoming deaf. Plankton quickly unplugs the ear drums] Ow! I hate my life!
  • Mr. Krabs: Is this thing loud enough? Oh, sure, I can hear you fine now. What was the question again?
  • SpongeBob: Oh, it, uh-- you know, I don't remember. Me neither. So we good?
  • Mr Krabs: Yeah. Get out!
  • SpongeBob: Okay!
  • Plankton: Enough with these petty carnal senses. If I'm going to get the Krabby Patty recipe, the brain! [he laughs evilly] Honk! [laughs evilly] Ugh! [he acts like SpongeBob] Hi, friend. Why am I making idiotic comments? [he gasps as he saw "Superficial Greetings" on the brain] Superficial Greetings? What kind of idiot-- [sees the parts of the brain] Personal Opinions? Knock-knock Jokes? No, no, no, no! This is all useless! I'm gonna have to go in deeper. [he gets inside the brain house] Ugh. [he was in the brain version of the living room] Where am I?
  • Brain Gary: Meow, meow, meow! [it slides around it]
  • Plankton: Ew. That's disgusting. Now, where do morons keep all their secrets? [he finds in the brain closet, searching in the squarepants, but not found] Nope. [then he finds under the brain bed in the brain bedroom] Doesn't this kid have any secrets Aha! [opens door] The library, where he keeps records of his every thought. All of his deepest, juiciest secrets. [opens the file drawer] [grunting] In convenient alphabetical order. Look at that. "Sounds that make Squidward upset"?
  • [he opens the file and hears SpongeBob's laughs.]
  • Plankton: "Patrick's favorite places to be scratched"?
  • Squidward: What are you doing? [SpongeBob is scratching Squidward's back]
  • SpongeBob: Uh, uh, scratching!
  • Plankton: Aagh, all of these secrets are lame! Wait a minute. What's this? [picks up a pink paper that says "Krabby Patty Recipe"] The secret recipe isn't in the brain? It's located in the heart. How cheesy. [Plankton slides down SpongeBob's spines and he lands to the heart] Ugh. Uh. [Plugs to the heart] The Krabby Patty recipe. Yes, yes, yes! Here it is! [his lips are licking] My mouth is watering. [cut to SpongeBob's tongue being cleaned] My taste buds are tingling. Mm, mm. oh, yeah. It feels so good. I can feel it all the way to my finger....stumps. All of the ingredients coming together in perfect harmony. And it's all mine! [he laughs evilly] Hwuh. Okay, that was weird. Like I was saying, the Krabby Patty recipe is the delicious sole property of the Krusty Krab. Hwuh. Who said that?! What's happening to me? [he gasps] It's all warm and fuzzy! It's --- [Plankton's body is transforming, sponge emerges out on him] It's --- [He grows eyelashes, his eye rolled to SpongeBob, and his teeth shatters, grows buckteeth.] It's beautiful! [he laughs] All of the delicious ingredients living in perfect harmony.
  • Karen: You got the recipe?
  • Plankton: I sure did.
  • Karen: Well, what are you waiting for? Bring it back to the Chum Bucket.
  • Plankton: Karen, wouldn't that be stealing?
  • Karen: What? Stealing?
  • Plankton: The Krabby Patty recipe is the delicious sole property of the Krusty Krab.
  • Karen: Oh, brother. [she presses a button, Plankton is emerging out of SpongeBob's nostril]
  • Patrick: Hey, everybody! Wait, that's not what I wanted to say. Now, what was it?
  • [Plankton lands on Patrick's forehead, begins to transform, his hand changes to a starfish, eyelashes fall, his eye roll to Patrick buckteeth shatters and grows a tooth] Huh? [he sighs, Plankton's body turn pink]
  • Patrick: Oh, well. Never mind. [Karen's hand opens the door, and removes Plankton from Patrick]
  • Karen: Well, where's the recipe?
  • Plankton: The What?
  • Karen: I knew you'd louse this up.
  • Plankton: Louse what up?

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