Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
Register
Advertisement
Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy VI The Motion Picture 123
"Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's 'stolen Krabby Patties.'"

This transcript is in need of repair. Please help Encyclopedia SpongeBobia by fixing this transcript.
Please remove this message when finished.

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "The Googly Artiste" from season 8, which aired on July 21, 2011.

  • [The episode starts with Squidward exiting his house, humming a tune while pushing a cart with a cloak over an unknown object.]
  • Squidward: La da de, la da dum, la da doo. La da dee. Ah, it's a great day for the art world. [stops walking] Famous art critic Fredrick T. Nitpick will be critiquing my latest masterpiece. I love hearing myself talk. [hears giggling and laughing. The camera pans over to SpongeBob and Patrick clearly with weaved baskets in front of them. Squidward appears to be behind him]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Squid... [observes Squidward's artist hat] Whoa! [points to the hat] I love your hat.
  • Squidward: [whacks SpongeBob's arm away] Don't touch it! And it's not a hat. It's a beret.
  • SpongeBob: A beret? Oh, where can I get one?
  • Squidward: Sorry, SpongeBob. Berets are only worn for true artists, like moi.
  • Patrick: You're an artist?
  • Squidward: Yes, I'm an artist! What are you two bubbleheads doing anyway?
  • SpongeBob: We're making arts and crafts. I've been learning the fine art of basket weaving. [holds up a basket] I made this one using designs of me and my best friends. [the basket appears to have Squidward, Patrick, and himself weaved on the basket] And I also made this cute little scallop house.
  • [Scallops fly out of the scallop house and commute on Squidward's face, only for Squidward to shoo them away.]
  • SpongeBob: And I made this wallet, [pulls his wallet out of his basket] and I crocheted money to go in it. [holds up crocheted bills]
  • Squidward: So, you've been counterfeiting currency? And what's doorknob number two been up to?
  • [The camera cuts to Patrick, apparently hitting a weaved basket with a hammer.]
  • Patrick: [halts hitting the basket with the hammer and laughs] I've been making baskets, too. [the basket unravels onto the table] Darn! This hammer is defective.
  • SpongeBob: Do you want to make crafts, too?
  • Squidward: Crafts? [blows a raspberry] This isn't summer camp. I am a true artiste. [walks out of the scene]
  • Patrick: Oh, man. I'll never make art like you and...Squidward! [starts to cry]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, don't be sad. You can be an artist, too. [Patrick stops crying] I'll find something that will tap into your particular artistic skill set. [thinking] Now let me see. Oh, this'll be perfect! Now, start with a rock... [pulls up a rock]
  • Patrick: Uh.
  • SpongeBob: A little glue... [applies glue to his rock]
  • Patrick: Uh.
  • SpongeBob: Stick on a couple of googly eyes... [applies googly eyes to his rock]
  • Patrick: Whoa. Slow down, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: And presto: A rock with googly eyes!
  • Patrick: Whoa. I did not see that coming!
  • SpongeBob: Now you try! [pulls up glue and a rock]
  • Patrick: I'm scared.
  • SpongeBob: You can do this!
  • Patrick: I shall make the attempt! [grabs glue and starts working on his rock] Privacy, please?
  • SpongeBob: Oh, sorry. [looks away and shields his eyes as Patrick turns away. Patrick makes noises]
  • Patrick: I've done it!
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, let's take a look!
  • Patrick: [moves his hands away so SpongeBob can see his rock] Behold!
  • SpongeBob: Oh! Oh! Oh, it's beautiful!
  • Patrick: I'm an artist!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray!
  • Squidward: Hate.
  • [Frederick Nitpick shows up.]
  • Frederick Nitpick: Why, hello, Mr. Tentacles! I'm Frederick T. Nitpick, world famous art critic! This is your artwork, I presume?
  • Squidward: Oh, it certainly is! This piece represents my struggle to reveal my genius to a moronic world. [pulls the sheet off the sculpture] Witness "La Visti Squidward"! Stunning, isn't it?
  • Frederick Nitpick: My considered opinion is "Eww!" I'll have to confiscate your artist beret. [pulls off Squidward's beret]
  • Squidward: What? No! No, you can't do that!
  • Frederick Nitpick: Sorry, but I'm looking for a real artist!
  • Patrick: I'm an artist! Hooray!
  • Frederick Nitpick: [walks away] An artist, eh?
  • Squidward: No, wait, come back!
  • Frederick Nitpick: [walks over to SpongeBob and Patrick] Now, which one of you two is the artiste? [Squidward runs over]
  • SpongeBob: We both are. It's lots of fun! Would you like to make something, too?
  • Frederick Nitpick: [laughs hysterically, then stops] I'm a critic. I don't make things. I judge things. I'm a judger. For instance, I judge your work. [looks at SpongeBob's scallop house] Lame. [walks over to Patrick]
  • Patrick: Don't judge me! [becomes worried]
  • Frederick Nitpick: [looks at Patrick's rock with googly eyes] Holy guacamole frijoles! It's so, so, primitive and naïve! You're a genius!
  • Patrick: Is that good?
  • Frederick Nitpick: I'll give you 500 bucks for it! And this hat! [places Squidward's beret on Patrick's head]
  • Squidward: Hey!
  • Frederick Nitpick: [slaps money in Patrick's hand] You are a master artist, my friend. [walks away]
  • Squidward: You can't give that dunderhead the artist hat!
  • Frederick Nitpick: Who's the critic here? [continues to walk away]
  • SpongeBob: Wow! Did you hear that, Squidward? Patrick is an artist!
  • Squidward: Oh, [raspberries] selling one lousy piece doesn't make you an artist!
  • SpongeBob: How many lousy pieces have you sold, Squidward?
  • Squidward: Well, about... um, um, well, I'll bet he never sells another one of those ridiculous trinkets!
  • [A man named Ted walks over to Patrick.]
  • Ted: Hey there, I noticed your hat. Are you an artist?
  • Patrick: Yeah!
  • Ted: Do you have any art? I have a real craving for creativity!
  • Patrick: Um... okay! [picks up a rock and puts googly eyes all over it] Art! [hands it to Ted]
  • Ted: Thanks, man! Here's fifty bucks! [walks away]
  • Squidward: I'll bet he never sells another!
  • Sally: Hey, Ted! Where'd you get that art?
  • Ted: From that pink genius over there!
  • Sally: I want to buy one!
  • Incidental 41: Me too!
  • Man: I also!
  • Squidward: I'll bet.
  • SpongeBob: [presses on Squidward's nose to prevent him from talking] Squidward, I think we should have a little talk about your gambling problem.
  • Squidward: [grunts and removes SpongeBob's hand] I actually want to go to work today! [walks away]
  • SpongeBob: [looks at his watch] Oh! I'm almost late to be early for work! See ya later, Patrick! [walks away]
  • Patrick: So long, my dear, earnest, yet untalented friend! [cuts to Patrick selling his googly-eye rocks at a stand in front of his house] One for you! And one for you! And one for... [looks around and notices there are no more rocks] I've run out of rocks to put googly eyes on! I've run out of rocks!
  • Harold: Got anything else?
  • Patrick: Um, the artist needs alone time! [runs into his rock]
  • Harold: He's so eccentric!
  • Patrick: I'm all out of rocks! What am I going to do now? That was my thing! Oh! [goes to get a bucket of paint and splatters it all over a sheet of paper, creating a The Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh] Tartar sauce! [throws the bucket away and gets a big boulder to sculpt from and ends up sculpting The Thinker] That stinks, too! [his stomach growls] The artist needs a lunch break!
  • [Cuts to the Krusty Krab. Patrick opens door to the restaurant.]
  • Squidward: Oh, not you again! May I take your order?
  • Patrick: [looks over his menu] Um! Uh! I'm thinking about having a Krabby Patty.
  • Squidward: One Krabby Patty. [lifts his hand to press the button on his register, only for Patrick to stop his hand from making any moves]
  • Patrick: But I'm wondering if that might be too predictable! [takes his hand off Squidward's]
  • Squidward: [rubs his hand] Then, what do you want?
  • Patrick: I don't know! I'm not feeling very inspired at the moment!
  • [SpongeBob comes out of the kitchen.]
  • SpongeBob: Hiya, Patrick! Ordering up a delicious Krabby Patty?
  • Patrick: Maybe, I don't know! I'm in a creative slump!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick, that's terrible.
  • Squidward: Just order already!
  • Patrick: Okay, I want new ideas to satisfy a public hunger for my goodly goods!
  • Squidward: Off the menu! Choose something off the menu! We don't serve artistic advice here!
  • Patrick: Well, then, why is it on the menu?
  • [Squidward looks at the menu to see "Artistic Advice" written on it.]
  • Squidward: Huh? What?
  • Mr. Krabs: [points at Squidward with a paintbrush] Get back to work, Squidward!
  • Squidward: In case you haven't noticed, [takes his hat off his head] this is not an artist hat! [inhales and exhales]
  • Patrick: Oh, you can borrow mine! [puts his hat on Squidward's head]
  • Squidward: Beautiful. [cuts to SpongeBob bringing Patrick to his table]
  • SpongeBob: Make yourself comfortable, Mister Patrick! Our artistic consultant will be right with you!
  • [SpongeBob brings Squidward to table against his will.]
  • SpongeBob: This is Mr. Tentacles. He'll be handling all your artistic advice needs!
  • Squidward: Mm-hmm!
  • Patrick: Mm-hmm. Pleasure!
  • SpongeBob: Here's your Krabby Patty! [puts his Krabby Patty on the table and holds up his tray] Shall I put it on your tab?
  • Patrick: Oh, yeah. Keep it open. We might be here all night! Let me just say up front, I'm a fan! I'm excited to learn from a master. My career in self-worth are in your hands! Let us writing on this. Okay... advise!
  • Squidward: [sighs and gets up] Why don't you just concentrate on your patty? [leaves]
  • Patrick: [looks at his patty] Of course, it's so obvious now! How did I not see it earlier? Squidward's a genius! I know now what I must do! [reaches in his pocket for googly eyes and puts them on the patty, admiring his masterpiece. Frederick Nitpick pops out of the ketchup bottle]
  • Frederick Nitpick: Brilliant! [hands Patrick a bag full of money] I've never seen such an example of raw creativity! This will turn the art world on its head! I hereby declare this the next big thing! [echoes. The customers swarm the Krusty Krab and hold up their money]
  • SpongeBob: You did it, Patrick! You found your inspiration!
  • Patrick: [holds up his money bag] And I'm going to need some more of those patty thingies!
  • SpongeBob: You got it, buddy! [jumps into the kitchen and flips some patties, which fly out to Patrick. Patrick decorates a patty and gives it to Tom, who gives him another money bag]
  • Mr. Krabs: Huh? [hears cha-ching] Ooh, money! Money, money, money, money, money, money, money! [opens the cash register and notices it's empty, then gasps] What the? [gasps again and notices customers giving money to Patrick and SpongeBob giving him patties] SpongeBob! [grabs SpongeBob] Patrick! [grabs Patrick and pulls both of them into his office] What's the meaning of this?
  • Patrick: It's my art. Uh, I buy Krabby Patties for $3 and I..I sell them for $50. [Mr. Krabs gets mad with a growling animal sound. SpongeBob and Patrick get worried and cry]
  • Squidward: Ha and ha!
  • Patrick: Why is he so mad, Squidward? I was just following your advice!
  • Mr. Krabs: What?! [to Squidward, angrily] It was your idea, huh?!
  • [Cuts to SpongeBob bringing more patties out.]
  • SpongeBob: Here's a whole new batch of Krabby Patty canvases.
  • Mr. Krabs: Great, SpongeBob! That'll be fifty bucks!
  • Incidental 41: [hands Mr. Krabs money] It's so inexpensive!
  • Mr. Krabs: And here's your patty! One more art patty, Mr. Star!
  • Incidental 41: It's such an honor to meet you!
  • Patrick: [takes the patty] I can only imagine! Apprentice! [turns to Squidward] Make another of my masterpieces, good man.
  • [Squidward grabs the patty and squirts glue on the top bun.]
  • Patrick: If you work real hard, you may be an artist too someday!
  • [Squidward growls at Patrick. Patrick looks at the patty.]
  • Patrick: Mm, probably not. Needs more glitter.
  • [Squidward breaks down bawling, ending the episode.]
Advertisement