Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
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Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "The Gift of Gum" from season 4, which aired on February 19, 2007.

  • [Patrick's rock opens up and a giant ball of pink gum rises up from the ground and Patrick is holding it.]
  • Patrick: Best Friends Day! Best Friends Day! Best Friends Day! Best Friends Day! [giggling]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick! Happy Best Friend... whoa.
  • Patrick: This chewing gum is my most beliked position, and I'm giving it to my bestest friend, on Best Friends Day.
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, I am truly honored and... [cries]
  • Patrick: What's wrong, buddy?
  • SpongeBob: You got me such an amazing gift, and all I got you was...that. [a robot comes out]
  • Robo 2.1: Greetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant. I am proficient in providing over 250,000 creature comforts. Would you care for a pastry? [shoots a pastry into Patrick's mouth]
  • Patrick: Yum! Sweet, hot, and juicy. SpongeBob, this is a great gift!
  • SpongeBob: Well, thanks for your appreciation, Patrick, but it's no giant, old, used ball of gum.
  • Patrick: Aww, don't be so hard on yourself, SpongeBob. I love my gift. In fact, I'll go play with it right now! Come on, Robo!
  • Robo 2.1: Coming, Master Patrick.
  • Patrick: Oh, SpongeBob, you don't mind if I say goodbye to Gummy, do you?
  • SpongeBob: No, not at all.
  • Patrick: Thanks. Goodbye, Gummy. You be good to SpongeBob, you hear? [pokes his finger in the ball of gum and it squirts out water on Patrick] I love you, too, Gummy. [hugs it] Welp, he's all yours!
  • SpongeBob: O, majestic and much masticated Gummy, although I am not worthy to be in your presence, may my humble abode please you. [struggles to push the giant ball of gum in his house. Breaks his arms in half in the process] Oh, you sure are a big boy, aren't you? Ooh. Hey, I know how to handle this! With a little karate! Hyah! [rolls the giant ball of gum into his pineapple. Crawls out using his legs] Whew! Oh, Gummy, what a beautiful centerpiece you make. With your dirty sock and used toothbrush, flies, and moldy pizza. [sniffs and almost barfs] Get a hold of yourself, SpongeBob. It's not so bad. After all, it is a gift from Patrick. [a pair of underwear come out of the gum slithers onto SpongeBob's cringing face]
  • Underwear: [suddenly talking in a raspy voice] You're...not... Patrick...! [SpongeBob screams and runs into another room]
  • SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Patrick, but your gift has got to go! [cut to SpongeBob taking the ball of gum out of the garage and holds it up] Goodbye, stink ball. See ya never! [throws it on top of his garbage can]
  • Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, whatcha doing? [Robo is carrying Patrick on a mattress]
  • Robo 2.1: It appears that he is throwing Gummy away.
  • Patrick: What? Is that true?
  • SpongeBob: No way, Patrick.
  • Patrick: Then how do you explain this? [points to Gummy on the garbage can]
  • SpongeBob: Well, you see, I liked Gummy and I decided to dress him up! [puts the garbage can top on Gummy] Isn't this a cute look?
  • Patrick: Hmmm. Bold yet understated. Brilliant idea, SpongeBob! Keep up the good work. Come on, Robo, let's find more belly button lint. [cut to SpongeBob digging a giant hole]
  • SpongeBob: [peeking out from the hole] Okay, no sign of Patrick. Better make this fast. [drives a bulldozer towards Gummy, ready to push it into the hole] Get ready for your dirt nap, Gummy! [laughs as the blade raises up, revealing Patrick and Robo sitting in it]
  • Patrick: SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Ahhh...!
  • Patrick: What are you doing? [SpongeBob deflates] I'm waiting.
  • SpongeBob: Uh... I was digging a hole so I could get a better view of Gummy, 'cause he is so attractive! [Patrick stares with narrowed eyes] Allow me to demonstrate. [shows Patrick the view inside from inside the hole] See, Patrick? The view is beautiful down here!
  • Patrick: Yeah, he does look rather dashing from this angle. Be that as it may, Gummy must be displayed properly and proudly. And I know just the place. [puts Gummy above SpongeBob's door] Isn't he breathtaking up there? Alrighty, SpongeBob, we got to go. I'm gonna learn how to use a fork. Right, Robo?
  • Robo 2.1: 'Twill be my pleasure, master.
  • Patrick: By the way, your house looks a million times better! [the old sock falls from the giant ball of gum and onto SpongeBob's nose]
  • SpongeBob: Thanks. [cut to later] Oh, what am I going to do, Gary? It's hideous!
  • Gary: Meow?
  • SpongeBob: Wishful thinking, Gary. What burglar would want to steal that thing? [sneaks off and dresses up as a burglar] Shhh. [Gary zips his mouth and his eyes like they were zippers. Cut to night where SpongeBob sneaks around his house, looking back and forth at Patrick's rock to make sure he is not awake. He struggles to get into the ball of gum but does. A fish digs his way to where SpongeBob is]
  • Fish: Who are you? Where did you come from?
  • SpongeBob: Uh, up there?
  • Fish: Oh, thank Neptune! Hey, guys, I found a way out! Come on! [manages to get out of the ball of gum] I'm free! I'm free! I'm sugar-free! [jumps off the gum as everyone else does the same] At last! [SpongeBob gets out of the gum and tries pulling it off his house but gets launched back at the gum. Cut to the next day where Sandy is walking up to SpongeBob's house]
  • Sandy: [Walking by and she hears a squelching noise, it is gum] What in tarnation? [notices SpongeBob's house covered in gum] Oh my gosh! SpongeBob! SpongeBob? [knocks on his door] SpongeBob, open up!
  • SpongeBob: Sandy?
  • Sandy: SpongeBob? [looks up and gasps to see SpongeBob stuck in the gum]
  • SpongeBob: Hi, Sandy. Looks like I got myself into a pretty sticky situation. [laughs weakly]
  • Sandy: Oh my gosh! How long've you been stuck there, SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: All day.
  • Sandy: Well, your ol' pal Sandy knows how to cut you down. [prepares a karate chop]
  • SpongeBob: No, wait, Sandy. The more you touch it, the angrier it gets.
  • Sandy: Oh, that's just crazy talk. Hiyah! [karate chops the gum, only to get it stuck on her hand. The gum gurgles and rumbles]
  • SpongeBob: Told ya.
  • Sandy: Huh? [tries to shake the gum off her hand]
  • SpongeBob: Save yourself, Sandy. Run away before you end up like... me!
  • Sandy: Oh, come on now, there's gotta be a way. [sees a truck driving down the street] I've got an idea. [takes the gum and lassos it onto a truck. The truck slows down but the driver puts the pedal to the metal, but it's still not going anywhere] Hang on tight, SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, alrighty.
  • Truck Driver: Come on, Ol' Blue! Don't you talk back to me! Do as your told! Do it! [The truck starts to slowly move] Do it! Do it! Come on now, do it! Come on! [A worried Sandy looks left and right nervously while she chatters her teeth on her fingers. The truck then splits in half. The back half hits Sandy and sends her back into the pile of gum, making it splatter everywhere]
  • Squidward: What the...? Just let it go, Squidward. Let it go. Don't get involved, Squidward. [Squidward's house attaches itself to SpongeBob's and Squidward is sent out his window and onto the sticky gum] Of course.
  • Sandy: I'm okay! [SpongeBob sighs]
  • Patrick: What's this? SpongeBob, what have you done?
  • SpongeBob: Now Patrick, I can explain
  • Patrick: It's-it's...it's amazing! It's like a gummy wonderland! Whee! Wow, I wish I were having this much fun. I knew you'd love it!
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, I have something to tell you.
  • Robo 2.1: Would you care for a massage, Master?
  • Patrick: Enough already! Sheesh. So, you were saying something, SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: Uh, well, how can I put this?
  • Patrick: Aw, just come right out and... [Robo blows a fan at Patrick] Will you stop? Just stop! [Robo stops]
  • Squidward: Get on with it, SpongeBob!
  • Sandy: Wrap it up.
  • Patrick: Squidward? Sandy? Gee, everyone is having fun with my Gummy but me! I-I-I mean, your Gummy.
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, do you miss your Gummy?
  • Patrick: Uh-huh.
  • SpongeBob: Well, it's still Best Friends Day. How would you like your Gummy back?
  • Patrick: Yes!
  • SpongeBob: It's yours, buddy. But first, you gotta get us out of this.
  • Patrick: Oh, that's easy! [chews all the gum up, with lawnmower sounds] Told you it was easy. [tummy rumbles. He hiccups a giant ball of gum and it pops all over Bikini Bottom, covering it entirely in gum. Gum covers the four characters as their shapely figure] Wow! This is the best Best Friends Day ever!
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