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The Curse of the Hex (transcript)

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Transcript Information
The Curse of the Hex
General
Season №: 7
Episode №: 141a
Airdate: June 11, 2011
Chronology
Previous: Welcome to the Bikini Bottom Triangle
Next: The Main Drain
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode, "The Curse of the Hex" from season seven, which aired on June 11, 2011.

  • [It is a dark and stormy night at the Krusty Krab]
  • Nat: Boy, good thing I remembered my umbrella
  • Mable: Me too.
  • [Nat and the Old Fish both walk out of the Krusty Krab and gets swept away by a tornado]
  • Abigail-Marge: Come on kids. [The family of fish also get swept away]
  • Dave: [walks outside] Ahh, too bad I forgot my umbrella. [walks away]
  • Mr. Krabs: Ahhh, the end of another successful business day. You know Squidward this kind of day always reminds me of money [pours the money out of his cash register] Ahhahhahah.... [Pilar gets swept away]
  • Squidward: Ohh yeah, that's nice. I'll be here working while you.....AHHHHHHHH [See's an old fish at the door] Uhhhh. Uhhh...Ummmm...I'm sorry mam, [gulps] but were closed. [The hagfish pours saliva out of her mouth]. I know you're hungry but- [The Hagfish pours out more saliva]. Uhhh...but we really are closed. Thank-you, come-again.
  • [Madame Hagfish slides through the door as Squidward closes it]
  • Squidward: Hey!! Closed means closed, Grandma! [Squidward closes the door and the fish is pulled back, the fish slides into the Krusty Krab. sighs] Oh boy, Some people... [walks to the cash register]
  • Madame Hagfish: [goes to order] One Krabby Patty please.
  • Squidward: I told you...we're closed! I was supposed to get out of here ten minutes ago! And besides, I already cashed the register out.
  • Madame Hagfish: Ohh, but I-
  • Squidward: No.
  • Madame Hagfish: I-
  • Squidward: No.
  • Madame Hagfish: I-
  • Squidward: No way.
  • Madame Hagfish: Please I-
  • Squidward: Never...
  • Madame Hagfish: I brought exact change... [Holds out three small shells]
  • Squidward: [Eyes twirking] Ah-ha, that is what they cost...20 years ago. Krabby Patties cost $4.50, lady.
  • Madame Hagfish: Oh dear. Seems I'm just one short.
  • Mr. Krabs: [looks at her] No way granny!
  • Madame Hagfish: Oh, But it's all I have. Please...
  • Squidward: Nope.
  • Madame Hagfish: Ohhh pleasssseeee.
  • SpongeBob: [crying] How sad.
  • Madame Hagfish: Pleasse, Oh, pleaaasee...
  • SpongeBob: [Whispers to the Hagfish]
  • Madame Hagfish: [gasps. slithers to the door] You haven't seen the last of me!!!! [leaves]
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, I've certainly seen enough [laughs].
  • Squidward: What a creepy old hagfish, I thought she'd never leave.
  • Mr. Krabs: Aye, good job there, SpongeBob. Say, what did you tell here that finally drove her out? I may need to know in case she ever comes back [laughs].
  • SpongeBob: [begins laughing along] Need to know in case she ever- [laughs again].
  • SpongeBob: [leaving] Have a good night Mr. Krabs.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, you too SpongeBob. Have a good- [notices something in SpongeBob's pants] Night...
  • SpongeBob: [sneaks behind the Krusty Krab] Old lady? Old lady?
  • Madame Hagfish: Here I am. [coughs] Right were you told me to meet you.
  • SpongeBob: Actually I told you to meet me two paces to the left.
  • [Hagfish moves two paces to the left]
  • SpongeBob: Oh good, you're here! [pulls two delicious Krabby Patties out of his pants] I brought the stuff.
  • Madame Hagfish: My goodness! This has to be the most kind, most generous, most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for-
  • SpongeBob: You're welcome, just take them before someone sees us.
  • Mr. Krabs: Too late! [Mr. Krabs takes the patties]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: So, it's true!
  • SpongeBob: H-How did you find out?
  • Mr. Krabs: Found out? Boy, you would have to get up pretty early to sneak a pair of buns past old, Mr. Krabs.
  • Squidward: Or before he takes off his sleep mask.
  • Mr. Krabs: How did you know I wear a sleep mask?
  • SpongeBob: Ohh please, Mr. Krabs don't fire me. Pleaaaseee! [thunder]
  • Madame Hagfish: [flies in the air] Eye of newt and frozen sharkskin slab, I hearby curse the Krusty Krab! [evil laugh. flies away. The clouds clear up]
  • Mr. Krabs: [throws patties away] We are not a soup kitchen, boy! And these will be coming out of your paycheck. Besides, we don't want to encourage- [shutters] charity...
  • SpongeBob: But what about the- the- the- the- the- the-
  • Mr. Krabs: Come on, boy! Spit it out!
  • SpongeBob: The- the- the- the- the-
  • Mr. Krabs: Okay, let's see what's under the hood. [Mr. Krabs reveals a record player in SpongeBob's chest. He moves the pin. laughs] I think that should do it.
  • SpongeBob: What about the curse?
  • Mr. Krabs: Curse? Boy, let me explain something about curses with a short story me grampappy used to tell me: Oh yes, CURSES ARE NONSENSE!!
  • SpongeBob: They are, Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: Yep. Just fabricated superstition. Right Squidward?
  • Squidward: You're asking the wrong guy about curses, I live next to SpongeBob [shutters]
  • Mr. Krabs: [laughs] See, boy, just a bonical ramblings of an old lady. Nothing to worry about.
  • [Cuts to inside the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs watching out the door]
  • Mr. Krabs: Squidward, I'm starting to get worried. I've got a funny feeling that the Krusty Krab really is cursed.
  • Squidward: And why is that?
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, we haven't seen a single customer all morning!
  • Squidward: That's not a curse. [sips coffee] That's a blessing.
  • Mr. Krabs: [laughs] Yeah, you're right, there is no such thing as curses. Ha.
  • [A dish suddenly falls from the top of the Krusty Krab, it startles Squidward, who drops his coffee, starting a fire, the fire begins burning Mr. Krab's money]
  • Mr. Krabs: ME MONEYYY!!!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!
  • SpongeBob: I got it! I got it! [grabs a dollar bill and begins blowing on it] Ohh, Ohh Hot, hot! [he realizes that it is hot and slowly rips it into pieces] I don't got it...
  • Squidward: I just remember there is a no-curse clause in my contract, nice working with you.
  • Mr. Krabs: Squidward, wait. You don't even have a contract.
  • Squidward: There is a no-contract clause in it too.
  • [SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs are driving to Madam Hagfish's house]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, what makes you so sure that even if we find that old lady, that she will lift the curse?
  • Mr. Krabs: [laughs] Don't worry, SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs has a special technique when dealing with situations like these. It's called beggin' and pleadin'
  • Narrator: Many Hours Later...
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, SpongeBob. I don't think were ever gonna find-
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, look!
  • Mr. Krabs: Well I'll be the slimy, son of a slithery, slippery sea slug, boy. It's here!
  • [At Madame Hagfish's house]
  • Madame Hagfish: Give me one good reason why I should lift the curse.
  • Mr. Krabs: Because if ya' don't, me business will be ruined forever.
  • Madame Hagfish: I said: give me a good reason.
  • Mr. Krabs: [crying and on his knees begging] Oh please, Madame Hagfish. Please, I'll do anything, anything at all.
  • Madame Hagfish: Oh, I like a man who begs.
  • Mr. Krabs: [whispering to SpongeBob] See, told ya'
  • Madame Hagfish: I will lift the curse, provided you two complete a dangerous task.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, wait a minute, granny, what part of this-
  • SpongeBob: Oh anything, Great Hagfish.
  • Madame Hagfish: Bring me the sacred gold doubloon from the throat of the Giant Golden Eel!
  • SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs: Okay...
  • [Cuts a dark cave]
  • SpongeBob: Well, this must be it. The lair of the Golden Eel.
  • Mr. Krabs: How could you tell?
  • SpongeBob: She gave me its business card.
  • [SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs begin walking through the cave]
  • Mr. Krabs: Hey, SpongeBob so you think this fudgy stuff we're walking in is the eel's-
  • SpongeBob: ...Leftover pudding. Yes I thought that too.
  • Mr. Krabs: Hold it, SpongeBob, Look. [points to the Golden Eel, who is sleeping]
  • SpongeBob: It's the eel. Well, nappy time always comes after pudding. Let's go get the doubloon from his throat before he wakes up.
  • Mr. Krabs: Good idea, be careful not to-
  • SpongeBob: [trips and falls] WOAAHHH!
  • [The Golden Eels starts to awaken]
  • Mr. Krabs: He's awake!
  • [SpongeBob screams. The Golden Eel begins to mumble and swings his tail around]
  • SpongeBob: Look out for his- Tail! Quick find something to-
  • [Mr. Krabs uses SpongeBob as a shield]
  • SpongeBob: ...Hide behind... [The eel whacks SpongeBob and he goes flying] WOAAAH!!!!
  • [The Golden Eel grabs and strangles Mr. Krabs with his tail]
  • SpongeBob: [starting to get up] Morning, already. [gasps] I'm coming Mr. Krabs [runs to Mr. Krabs] Don't go anywhere!
  • Mr. Krabs: I really don't have a choice [The eel traps in on Mr. Krabs tighter]
  • SpongeBob: Take, this! [pokes the Eel with his fist very lightly. The eel drops Mr. Krabs]
  • Mr. Krabs: Good job ladee!
  • SpongeBob: We're not finished yet! [pokes the Eel again, the doubloon flies out of his mouth] I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! [SpongeBob claps his hands together but is unsuccessful in catching it] I don't got it.
  • [Mr. Krabs shows that he has caught it. Cuts back to Madame Hagfish's house]
  • Mr. Krabs: Madame Hagfish, we've got the gold doubloon you asked for.
  • Madame Hagfish: Finally. [deposits the doubloon into her washing machine] Clean free.
  • Mr. Krabs: Ahh, now it's time to lift that curse, like you promised.
  • [Cuts to the Krusty Krab]
  • Madame Hagfish: [pulls out a 'closed' sign from the Krusty Krab lawn] There ya' go, the curse is lifted.
  • SpongeBob: A closed sign?
  • Mr. Krabs: That's it? That's the curse?!
  • Madame Hagfish: You think I'm gonna waste good spells on a bottom-feeder like you? Have a nice day.

(many customers immediately drive up)

(inside the Krusty Krab now)

Mr. Krabs: Well, it's like I told you before boy, there ain't no such thing as witches, or curses, or magical beings, or-

(a very loud rumbling is heard. the Giant Golden Eel pops up inside the Krusty Krab, which scares everyone away as the episode ends)

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