The Curse of the Hex/transcript

Template:BTranscript (It is a dark and stormy night at the Krusty Krab)

Nat: Boy, good thing I remembered my umbrella

Old Fish: Me too.

(Nat and the Old Fish both walk out of the Krusty Krab and gets swept away by a tornado.)

Female fish: Come on kids. (The family of fish also get swept away.)

Ralph Frank: (walks outside) Ahh, too bad I forgot my umbrella. (walks away.)

Mr. Krabs: Ahhh, the end of another successful business day. You know Squidward this kind of day always reminds me of money (pours the money out of his cash register) Ahhahhahah.... (Another fish with an umbrella gets swept away.)

Squidward: Ohh yeah, that's nice. I'll be here working while you.....AHHHHHHHH (See's an old fish at the door.) Uhhhh. Uhhh...Ummmm...I'm sorry mam, (gulps) but were closed. (The hagfish pours saliva out of her mouth). I know you're hungry but- (The Hagfish pours out more saliva). Uhhh...but we really are closed. Thank-you, come-again.

(Madame Hagfish slides through the door as Squidward closes it)

Squidward: Hey!! Closed means closed, Grandma! (Squidward closes the door and the fish is pulled back, the fish slides into the Krusty Krab) (sighs) Oh boy, Some people... (walks to the cash register)

Madame Hagfish: (goes to order) One Krabby patty please.

Squidward: I told you...were closed! I was supposed to get out of here ten minutes ago! And besides, I already cashed the register out.

Madame Hagfish: Ohh, but I-

Squidward: No.

Madame Hagfish: I-

Squidward: No.

Madame Hagfish: I-

Squidward: No way.

Madame Hagfish: Please I-

Squidward: Never...

Madame Hagfish: I brought exact change... (Holds out three small shells)

Squidward:(Eyes twirking) Ah-ha, that is what they cost...20 years ago. Krabby Patties cost $4.50 lady.

Madame Hagfish: Oh dear. Seems I'm just one short.

Mr. Krabs: (looks at her) No way granny!

Madame Hagfish: Oh, But it's all I have. Please...

Squidward: Nope.

Madame Hagfish: Ohhh pleasssseeee.

SpongeBob: (crying) How sad.

Madame Hagfish: Pleasse, Oh, pleaaasee...

SpongeBob: (Whispers to the Hagfish)

Madame Hagfish: (gasps) (slithers to the door) You haven't seen the last of me!!!! (leaves)

Mr. Krabs: Well, I've certainly seen enough (laughs).

Squidward: What a creepy old hagfish, I thought she'd never leave.

Mr. Krabs: Aye, good job there, SpongeBob. Say, what did you tell here that finally drove her out? I may need to know in case she ever comes back (laughs).

SpongeBob: (begins laughing along) Need to know in case she ever- (laughs again).

SpongeBob: (leaving) Have a good night Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, you too SpongeBob. Have a good- (notices something in SpongeBob's pants) Night...

SpongeBob: (sneaks behind the Krusty Krab) Old lady? Old lady?

Madame Hagfish: Here I am. (coughs) Right were you told me to meet you.

SpongeBob: Actually I told you to meet me two paces to the left.

(Hagfish moves two paces to the left)

SpongeBob: Oh good, you're here! (pulls two delicious Krabby Patties out of his pants) I brought the stuff.

Madame Hagfish: My goodness! This has to be the most kind, most generous, most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for-

SpongeBob: You're welcome, just take them before someone sees us.

Mr. Krabs: Too late! (Mr. Krabs takes the patties)

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: So, it's true!

SpongeBob: H-How did you find out?

Mr. Krabs: Found out? Boy, you would have to get up pretty early to sneak a pair of buns past old, Mr. Krabs.

Squidward: Or before he takes off his sleep mask.

Mr. Krabs: How did you know I wear a sleep mask?

SpongeBob: Ohh please, Mr. Krabs don't fire me. Pleaaaseee! (thunder)

Madame Hagfish: (flies in the air) Eye of newt and frozen sharkskin slab, I hearby curse the Krusty Krab! (evil laugh) (flies away)

(The clouds clear up)

Mr. Krabs: (throws patties away) We are not a soup kitchen, boy! And these will be coming out of your paycheck. Besides, we don't want to encourage- (shutters) charity...

SpongeBob: But what about the- the- the- the- the- the-

Mr. Krabs: Come on, boy! Spit it out!

SpongeBob: The- the- the- the- the-

Mr. Krabs: Okay, let's see what's under the hood. (Mr. Krabs reveals a record player in SpongeBob's chest) (He moves the pin) (laughs) I think that should do it.

SpongeBob: What about the curse?

Mr. Krabs: Curse? Boy, let me explain something about curses with a short story me grampappy used to tell me: Oh yes, Curses are nonsense!!

SpongeBob: They are, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Yep. Just fabricated superstition. Right Squidward?

Squidward: You're asking the wrong guy about curses, I live next to SpongeBob (shutters)

Mr. Krabs: (laughs) See, boy, just a bonical ramblings of an old lady. Nothing to worry about.

(Cuts to inside the Krusty Krab) (Mr. Krabs watching out the door)

Mr. Krabs: Squidward, I'm starting to get worried. I've got a funny feeling that the Krusty Krab really is cursed.

Squidward: And why is that?

Mr. Krabs: Well, we haven't seen a single customer all morning!

Squidward: That's not a curse. (sips coffee) That's a blessing.

Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Yeah, you're right, there is no such thing as curses. Ha.

(A dish suddenly falls from the top of the Krusty Krab, it startles Squidward, who drops his coffee, starting a fire, the fire begins burning Mr. Krab's money)

Mr. Krabs: ME MONEYYY!!!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!

SpongeBob: I got it! I got it! (grabs a dollar bill and begins blowing on it) Ohh, Ohh Hot, hot! (he realizes that it is hot and slowly rips it into pieces) I don't got it...

Squidward: I just remember there is a no-curse clause in my contract, nice working with you.

Mr. Krabs: Squidward, wait. You don't even have a contract.

Squidward: There is a no-contract clause in it too.

(SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs are driving to Madam Hagfish's house)

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, what makes you so sure that even if we find that old lady, that she will lift the curse?

Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Don't worry, SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs has a special technique when dealing with situations like these. It's called beggin' and pleadin'

Narrator: Many Hours Later...

Mr. Krabs: Well, SpongeBob. I don't think were ever gonna find-

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, look!

Mr. Krabs: Well I'll be the slimy, son of a slithery, slippery sea slug, boy. It's here!

(At Madame Hagfish's house)

Madame Hagfish: Give me one good reason why I should lift the curse.

Mr. Krabs: Because if ya' don't, me business will be ruined forever.

Madame Hagfish: I said: give me a good reason.

Mr. Krabs: (crying and on his knees begging) Oh please, Madame Hagfish. Please, I'll do anything, anything at all.

Madame Hagfish: Oh, I like a man who begs.

Mr. Krabs: (whispering to SpongeBob) See, told ya'

Madame Hagfish: I will lift the curse, provided you two complete a dangerous task.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, wait a minute, granny, what part of this-

SpongeBob: Oh anything, Great Hagfish.

Madame Hagfish: Bring me the sacred gold doubloon from the throat of the Giant Golden Eel!

SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs: Okay...

(Cuts a dark cave)

SpongeBob: Well, this must be it. The lair of the Golden Eel.

Mr. Krabs: How could you tell?

SpongeBob: She gave me its business card.

(SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs begin walking through the cave)

Mr. Krabs: Hey, SpongeBob so you think this fudgy stuff we're walking in is the eel's-

SpongeBob: ...Leftover pudding. Yes I thought that too.

Mr. Krabs: Hold it, SpongeBob, Look. (points to the Golden Eel, who is sleeping)

SpongeBob: It's the eel. Well, nappy time always comes after pudding. Let's go get the doubloon from his throat before he wakes up.

Mr. Krabs: Good idea, be careful not to-

SpongeBob: (trips and falls) WOAAHHH!

(The Golden Eels starts to awaken)

Mr. Krabs: He's awake!

(SpongeBob screams)

(The Golden Eel begins to mumble and swings his tail around)

SpongeBob: Look out for his- Tail! Quick find something to-

(Mr. Krabs uses SpongeBob as a shield)

SpongeBob: ...Hide behind... (The eel whacks SpongeBob and he goes flying) WOAAAH!!!!

(The Golden Eel grabs and strangles Mr. Krabs with his tail)

SpongeBob: (starting to get up) Morning, already. (gasps) I'm coming Mr. Krabs (runs to Mr. Krabs) Don't go anywhere!

Mr. Krabs: I really don't have a choice (The eel traps in on Mr. Krabs tighter)

SpongeBob: Take, this! (pokes the Eel with his fist very lightly)

(The eel drops Mr. Krabs)

Mr. Krabs: Good job ladee!

SpongeBob: We're not finished yet! (pokes the Eel again, the doubloon flies out of his mouth) I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! (SpongeBob claps his hands together but is unsuccessful in catching it) I don't got it.

(Mr. Krabs shows that he has caught it)

(Cuts back to Madame Hagfish's house)

Mr. Krabs: Madame Hagfish, we've got the gold doubloon you asked for.

Madame Hagfish: Finally. (deposits the doubloon into her washing machine) Clean free.

Mr. Krabs: Ahh, now it's time to lift that curse, like you promised.

(Cuts to the Krusty Krab)

Madame Hagfish: (pulls out a 'closed' sign from the Krusty Krab lawn) There ya' go, the curse is lifted.

SpongeBob: A closed sign?

Mr. Krabs: That's it? That's the curse?!

Madame Hagfish: You think I'm gonna waste good spells on a bottom-feeder like you? Have a nice day. (drops sign and leaves)

(Many customers arrive at the Krusty Krab)

Mr. Krabs: Well, it's like I told you before, SpongeBob. There ain't no such thing as curses, or witches, or magical sea creatures, or- (a rumbling begins) Ah, do you feel that?

(The Giant Golden Eel pops out of the ground, through the Krusty Krab, scaring the customers away)