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in: Episode transcripts, Season 7 transcripts

Changes: The Curse of Bikini Bottom/transcript

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*'''SpongeBob''': ''[yawns]'' Oh, I'm bored.
  
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[yawns]'' Oh, I'm bored.
   
−
*'''Patrick''': Hmmm... Interesting. ME TOO!
 +
*'''Patrick''': Hmmm... Interesting. ''Me too!'' Let's go look for something to do in Old Man Squidward's shed!
−  
−
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[sighs] ''What do you want to do?
  
−  
−
*'''Patrick''': Hey, let's go play in Old Man Squidward's shed!
  
   
 
*'''SpongeBob''': Old Man Squidward's shed?!
  
*'''SpongeBob''': Old Man Squidward's shed?!
   
−
*'''Patrick''': Yeeeeeeeaappah!
 +
*'''Patrick''': ''[slowly]'' Yyyyyeeeep!
   
−
*''[SpongeBob and Patrick sneak inside] [they spot Squidward's lawn mower]''
 +
*'''SpongeBob and Patrick''':[SpongeBob and Patrick sneak inside] Ooohhh! [they spot Squidward's lawn mower] What's that?!
  +
*'''Patrick''':What is it?
  +
*'''SpongeBob''': I don't know, Patrick.
   
−
*'''Squidward''': La-da-dee-la-da-dool... ''[walking towards his shed]''
 +
*'''Squidward''': Ahh. La-da-dee-la-da-dum-la-da-doo! ... ''[walking towards his shed]''
   
 
*'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''[SpongeBob's pretending to drive it and Patrick is immitating it] [the door is about to open]''
  
*'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''[SpongeBob's pretending to drive it and Patrick is immitating it] [the door is about to open]''
Line 36: Line 34:
 
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[whispering]'' Yes, Patrick?
  
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[whispering]'' Yes, Patrick?
   
−
*'''Patrick''': Is this a trowl? ''[turns to reveal the trowl in his butt]''
 +
*'''Patrick''': Is ''this ''a trowl? ''[turns to reveal the trowl in his butt]''
   
−
*'''SpongeBob''': Yeah!
 +
*'''SpongeBob''': Yes, Patrick!
   
−
*'''Squidward''': Oh, here it is. ''[reaches for it and screams; SpongeBob and Patrick scream, too] ''What are you two doing in here?!?
 +
*'''Squidward''': Oh, here it is. ''[reaches for it] ''''[screams] '''''AAAHHHH!!!'''
  +
*<span style="font-weight: bold;">SpongeBob and Patrick</span>: ''[shouts] '''AAHHH!!!'''''
   
  +
*'''SpongeBob''': Don't hurt us, Squidward!
⚫
*'''SpongeBob''': Squidward! Please don't hurt us. We just wanted to play with... ''[looks at lawnmower and points to it] ''whatever this thing is.
  
  +
*'''Patrick''': We're bored!
  ⚫
*'''SpngeBob''': We just wanted to play with your... ''[looks at lawnmower and points to it] ''...whatever this thing is.
   
−
*'''Squidward''': No! No! No! You guys will probably...! ''[pauses] ''You want to play with my lawnmower?
 +
*'''Squidward''': No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! You morons would probably...! ''[pauses] ''You want to play with my lawnmower?
   
−
*'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Yes, please, Squidward!
 +
*'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
   
 
*'''Squidward''': Hmmm... ''[thinking]''
  
*'''Squidward''': Hmmm... ''[thinking]''
   
−
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[mowing the lawn with Patrick] ''Thanks for leting us mow your lawn Squidward! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick fall into lawnmower and get cut into pieces offscreen] ''Ahhhh! My patty flipping hand! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick cry]''
 +
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[mowing the lawn with Patrick] ''Thanks for leting us mow your lawn, Squidward! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick fall into lawnmower and get cut into pieces offscreen] ''AHHHH! My patty flipping hand! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick cry]''
   
 
*'''Squidward''':'' [Not thinking] [laughs to himself and starts the lawnmower] ''Knock yourselves out!
  
*'''Squidward''':'' [Not thinking] [laughs to himself and starts the lawnmower] ''Knock yourselves out!
−
*
  
−  
 
*''[SpongeBob and Patrick are riding around Squidward's yard on the lawnmower. The lawnmower breaks through the gate and rides straight toward the a graveyard. SpongeBob and Patrick giggle.]''
  
*''[SpongeBob and Patrick are riding around Squidward's yard on the lawnmower. The lawnmower breaks through the gate and rides straight toward the a graveyard. SpongeBob and Patrick giggle.]''
   
−
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': Excuse me, lady, but I'm need to get ready for my date for 40 years. I've got to look good. ''[picks a tattered shirt] ''Tattered, though this ''was'' the shirt I was buried in. Ahhh, memories! ''[sniffs it]'' Bleah! ''[coughs]'' Okay, that's ripe. Stained. Too itchy! Ah, here it is! ''[puts on coat] ''Looking good! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick are still riding the lawn mower.]''
 +
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': Excuse me, Davy, I've got my first blind date in 400 years and I've got to look good. ''[picks a torn shirt] ''It's a little torn. Of course this ''was'' the shirt I was buried in. Ahhh, memories! ''[sniffs it]'' Bleah! ''[coughs]'' Okay, ''that ''one's a bit ripe. Stained. Too itchy! Hey, there she is! I've been saving this beauty for a special occasion! ''[puts on coat] ''Sssss! Looking good! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick are still riding the lawn mower.'''' The cave ceiling shakes and dirt lands on The Flying Dutchman's clothes. He ''''gets furious] ''Who dares-- ''[gets hit by lawnmower] ''Who-- ''[gets hit by lawnmower again] ''--disturb-- ''[gets hit a second time] ''--The Flying-- ''[gets hit a third time] ''--Dutchman?! ''[feels his chin, reveals a mirror, and gasps, noticing his beard is gone]'' ''ME BEARD!'' Hey! ''[gets hit by lawnmower and gets livid. He zaps the lawnmower and takes SpongeBob and Patrick off of it] WHO DARES DISTURB THE FLYING DUTCHMAN?!''
−  
−
*''[The cave ceiling shakes and dirt lands on The Flying Dutchman's clothes.]''
  
−  
−
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': ''[Gets mad] ''Who dares... ''[gets hit by lawnmower] ''Who... ''[gets hit by lawnmower again] ''disturb... ''[gets hit once again] ''The Flying... ''[gets hit yet again] ''Dutchman!? [feels his chin, reveals a mirror, and gasps, noticing his beard is gone] ME BEARD! Hey! ''[gets hit by lawnmower and gets mad] [zaps the lawnmower and takes SpongeBob and Patrick off of it] ''Who dares disturb The Flying Dutchman!
  
   
 
*'''SpongeBob''': You're not The Flying Dutchman!
  
*'''SpongeBob''': You're not The Flying Dutchman!
Line 67: Line 62:
 
*'''Patrick''': Yeah. The Flying Dutchman has a beard.
  
*'''Patrick''': Yeah. The Flying Dutchman has a beard.
   
−
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': I don't look like The Flying Dutchman, because you morons ripped me beard off!
 +
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': I don't look like The Flying Dutchman, because... ''[lividly] [''''shouts] '''YOU MORONS CUT OFF MY BEARD!!!'''''
   
 
*'''SpongeBob''': Ooh! It makes you look a thousand years younger!
  
*'''SpongeBob''': Ooh! It makes you look a thousand years younger!
   
−
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': I don't want to look younger! I HATE youth! I might grow pimples again.
 +
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': I don't want to look younger! I ''HATE'' youth! I'll probably get pimples again.
   
 
*'''Patrick''': Your beard will just grow back.
  
*'''Patrick''': Your beard will just grow back.
   
−
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': You don't know anything about me facial hair. It'll take a thousand years for my beard to grow back!
 +
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': You know nothing about me facial hair. It'll take a thousand years for my beard to grow back!
   
−
*'''SpongeBob''': But, we don't know what it's like being a ghost.
 +
*'''SpongeBob''': I'm sorry. But, we don't know what it's like to be ghosts.
   
−
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': Well, now's the time you've learned. Until my beard grows back, I'm going to turn you two into ghosts. Prepare to be GHOSTIFIED!
 +
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': Well, now's the time you've learned. Until my beard grows back, I'm going to turn you two fools into ghosts. Prepare to be ''GHOSTIFIED!'' ''[echo] ''
   
−
*'''Patrick''': 'Ghostified'? That's not even a real word.
 +
*'''Patrick''': "Ghostified"? That's not even a real word.
   
−
*'''The Flying Dutchman''':'' [zaps SpongeBob and Patrick, but they giggle] ''Okay, you two are having too much fun. ''[finishes zapping them and they become ghosts].''
 +
*'''The Flying Dutchman''':'' [zaps SpongeBob and Patrick, but they giggle] ''Okay, you're having too much fun. ''[finishes zapping them and they become ghosts].''
   
 
*'''Patrick''': ''[wiggles his ghostly tail] ''We're mermaids!
  
*'''Patrick''': ''[wiggles his ghostly tail] ''We're mermaids!
Line 89: Line 84:
 
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': You're ghosts!
  
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': You're ghosts!
   
−
*'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Ooh, we're ghosts. Wooo!
 +
*'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''Ooh''''!''
  +
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[to Patrick] ''We're ghosts! ''[with Patrick] ''Yaayyy!
   
−
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': This isn't exactly working as I thought.
 +
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': This isn't really working out the way I imagined.
   
 
*''[Bubble transition to Squidward watering his garden]''
  
*''[Bubble transition to Squidward watering his garden]''
   
−
*'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''[emerging from beneath and behind Squidward] [ghostly voice] ''Squuiiidwaaarrrd! ''[Squidward looks behind him]''
 +
*'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''[emerging from beneath and behind Squidward] [ghostly voice] Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh! ''Squuiiidwaaarrrd! ''[Squidward looks behind him]''
  +
*'''SpongeBob''': It's SpongeBob.
   
−
*'''Patrick''': We're ghoooosts!
 +
*'''Patrick''': And Patrick! We're ghoooooooosts! ''[with SpongeBob] ''''Ooohhhh!''
   
−
*'''SpongeBob''': We're going to haunt you! FOOOOEEVEEERRR! Ooooohhh! ''[Squiward sprays them with his hose] ''Well that killed the mood. ''[SpongeBob and Patrick exit the scene]''
 +
*'''SpongeBob''': We're going to haunt you! ''FOREVEEEEER!'' <span style="font-style: italic;">''[with Patrick] ''Oohhh-- !</span> ''[Squiward sprays them with his hose] [normal voice] ''Well, ''that'' killed the mood. ''[SpongeBob and Patrick exit the scene]''
   
 
*'''Squidward''': I knew I shouldn't have lent them my lawnmower.
  
*'''Squidward''': I knew I shouldn't have lent them my lawnmower.
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*''[Bubble transition at night]''
  
*''[Bubble transition at night]''
   
−
*'''SpongeBob''': Being a ghost can sure tire ya! Good night, Patrick.
 +
*'''SpongeBob''': Good night, Patrick. Being a ghost can sure tire ya out!
   
 
*'''Patrick''': Good night, ghostbuddy!
  
*'''Patrick''': Good night, ghostbuddy!
   
−
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[gets the key to his door, but it falls through his hand] ''Hmmm. That's odd. However shall I get in? ''[leans on door and falls through it]'' That's useful! ''[yawns]''''' '''I'm beat! Well at least I don't have to take the stairs! ''[flies through the ceiling and into his bedroom, then lies down on his bed] ''Ah. ''but falls through the bed, the floor, and ends up underground]''
 +
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[gets the key to his door, but it falls through his hand] ''That's odd. However shall I get in? ''[leans on door and falls through it]'' That's handy! ''[yawns]''''' '''I am beat! Well, I don't have to take the stairs! ''[flies through the ceiling and into his bedroom, then lies down on his bed] ''Ah. ''but falls through the bed, the floor, and ends up underground]''
   
 
*''[Bubble transition to morning; SpongeBob exits his house with a very sleepy expression. He then goes to Patrick's house].''
  
*''[Bubble transition to morning; SpongeBob exits his house with a very sleepy expression. He then goes to Patrick's house].''
   
−
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[tired] ''Patrick? I didn't sleep so good last night.
 +
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[tired] ''Hey, Patrick. I didn't sleep so good last night.
   
−
*'''Patrick''': I didn't sleep at all. I can see through my eyelids. ''[closes his eyes and can see through his eyes; grabs SpongeBob] ''MY EYELIDS!
 +
*'''Patrick''': I didn't sleep at all. I can see through my eyelids. ''[closes his eyes and can see through his eyes; grabs SpongeBob] <span style="display: none;"> </span>'''''<span id="cke_bm_123S" style="display: none;"> </span>MY EYELIDS!!'''<span style="display: none;"> </span><span id="cke_bm_123E" style="display: none;"> </span>
   
 
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps] ''I'm late for work!
  
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps] ''I'm late for work!
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*''[Bubble transition to the Krusty Krab]''
  
*''[Bubble transition to the Krusty Krab]''
   
−
*'''SpongeBob''': Sorry I'm late Mr. Krabs!
 +
*'''SpongeBob''': Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I'm here!
   
−
*'''Fish''': ''[walks by, gets scared of SpongeBob, seeing him as a ghost, and runs out of The Krusty Krab] ''Ahhh! Mermaid!
 +
*<span style="font-weight: bold;">Harold</span>: ''[walks by, gets scared of SpongeBob, seeing him as a ghost, and runs out of The Krusty Krab] [screams] Ahh! ''Mermaid!
   
−
*'''Mr. Krabs''': SpongeBob, you're late! Say, why are you bright green, and what happened to your arms and legs, boy?
 +
*'''Mr. Krabs''': SpongeBob, you're late! Why are you bright green, and what happened to your legs?
   
 
*'''Squidward''': He's a ghost, Mr. Krabs.
  
*'''Squidward''': He's a ghost, Mr. Krabs.
   
−
*'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh. Can you still make Krabby Patties?
 +
*'''Mr. Krabs''': A ghost, eh? Can you still cook Krabby Patties?
   
−
*'''SpongeBob''': Can-do, Mr. Krabs!
 +
*'''SpongeBob''': Can do, Mr. Krabs!
   
 
*'''Mr. Krabs''': Then get your Captain's Quarters in the kitchen!
  
*'''Mr. Krabs''': Then get your Captain's Quarters in the kitchen!
   
−
*'''SpongeBob''': Aye, aye, living soul! ''[flies through Mr. Krabs and into the kitchen, leaving Mr. Krabs covered in slime]''
 +
*'''SpongeBob''': Aye, aye, old living employeer! ''[flies through Mr. Krabs and into the kitchen, leaving Mr. Krabs covered in slime]''
   
 
*'''Mr. Krabs''': Ewww.
  
*'''Mr. Krabs''': Ewww.
   
−
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[goes through kitchen door] ''La la la la! ''[grabs spatula, but it falls through his hand; picks up spatula, whistles, and breaks it, revealing its spirit; uses it to pick up a Krabby Patty, but it falls through; SpongeBob begins to struggle picking up the patty, but it burns, and dissappears; SpongeBob begins to cry] ''Wahhhahhahah! I can't cook Krabby Patties! I don't wanna be a ghost anymore!
 +
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[goes through kitchen door] ''La la la la! ''[grabs spatula, but it falls through his hand; picks up spatula, whistles, and breaks it, revealing its spirit; uses it to pick up a Krabby Patty, but it falls through; SpongeBob begins to struggle picking up the patty, but it burns, and dissappears; SpongeBob begins to wail] ''Aaahaahaah! I can't cook Krabby Patties! I don't wanna be a ghost anymore, Patrick!
   
 
*'''Patrick''': I don't either. I can't even eat anything! Food just goes right through me! ''[eats a Krabby Patty, but it falls through him]''
  
*'''Patrick''': I don't either. I can't even eat anything! Food just goes right through me! ''[eats a Krabby Patty, but it falls through him]''
   
−
*'''Squidward and Mr. Krabs''': Yuck!
 +
*'''Squidward and Mr. Krabs''': Bleah! / Yuck!
   
−
*'''Patrick''': Should we go ask that weird hairless guy?
 +
*'''Patrick''': Maybe the weird hairless man will change us back?
   
 
*'''SpongeBob''': Yeah! Let's go see The Flying Dutchman!
  
*'''SpongeBob''': Yeah! Let's go see The Flying Dutchman!
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*'''The Flying Dutchman''': Well, at least I still have my personality.
  
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': Well, at least I still have my personality.
   
  +
*'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': ''[begging] ''''[SpongeBob] ''Change us back! Change us back! We don't like being ghosts! I don't want to be a ghost! ''[Patrick] ''Change us back! Change us back! Change us back! We don't like to be a lie again!
−
*'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Please Mr. Flying Dutchman! Please change us back!
  
  +
*'''SpongeBob''': Please, Mr. Dutchman, we can't take it! Constantly moaning and groaning!
  +
*'''Patrick''': Invisible to the world!
  +
*'''SpongeBob''': ''[starts to cry] Living without a soul!''
  +
*'''Patrick''': ''[crying] ''IT'S MISERABLE!
  +
*<span style="font-weight: bold;">SpongeBob</span>: <span style="font-style: italic;">''[sobs] ''HOW COULD ANYONE LIVE LIKE THIS?!</span> ''[cut to Squidward sipping tea. He looks back. He continues]''
   
−
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': Okay. ''[snaps fingers, but they are still ghosts]''
 +
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': Hmm, I guess you feel my pain. Well, I'll lift the curse from ya. ''[snaps fingers, but they are still ghosts]''
   
−
*'''SpongeBob''': Um. We're still ghosts.
 +
*'''SpongeBob''': Hey. We're still ghosts.
   
−
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': The curse will wear off as soon as my beard grows back.
 +
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': Yeah, yeah, yeah. The curse will wear off when my beard grows back.
   
−
*'''SpongeBob''': But we want to be normal, now!
 +
*'''SpongeBob''': But we want to be normal, ''now!''
   
−
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': I want to go on my date, now! But, you two loused that up, too!
 +
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': Well, I want to be on my ''date,'' now! But, you knuckleheads loused that up, too!
−
*'''SpongeBob''': Wait, so you're saying you can't change us back, because you can't go on your date?
 +
*'''SpongeBob''': We're still ghosts, because you can't go on your date?
 
*'''Patrick''': And you can't go on your date because you're ugly?
  
*'''Patrick''': And you can't go on your date because you're ugly?
−
*'''Both''': MAKEOVER!
 +
*'''Both''': ''MAKEOVER!''
 
*''[Bubble transition to SpongeBob untying the Dutchman's hair and wraps it around his head; Patrick shakes his head; Bubble transition to SpongeBob spreading jelly on the Dutchman's face. Patrick smashes a jellyfish hive and they land on the Dutchman's face; SpongeBob and Patrick shake their heads]''
  
*''[Bubble transition to SpongeBob untying the Dutchman's hair and wraps it around his head; Patrick shakes his head; Bubble transition to SpongeBob spreading jelly on the Dutchman's face. Patrick smashes a jellyfish hive and they land on the Dutchman's face; SpongeBob and Patrick shake their heads]''
 
*''[Bubble transition; SpongeBob is now on the Flying Dutchman's face]''
  
*''[Bubble transition; SpongeBob is now on the Flying Dutchman's face]''
−
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': Thanks, fellas! I love the new beard. Time to go on my date. Don't wait up. ''[he and Patrick laugh]''
 +
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': Thanks, fellas! I love the new beard. Well, I'm off on my date. Don't wait up. ''[he and Patrick laugh]''
 
*'''Patrick''': I don't get it...
  
*'''Patrick''': I don't get it...
 
*'''Narrator''': Several months later.
  
*'''Narrator''': Several months later.
 
*''[SpongeBob and Patrick are lying around]''
  
*''[SpongeBob and Patrick are lying around]''
 
*'''SpongeBob''': Well, here we are several months later! I wonder how the Flying Dutchman's doing on his date!
  
*'''SpongeBob''': Well, here we are several months later! I wonder how the Flying Dutchman's doing on his date!
−
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': I can't do it. SHE WANTS TO MARRY ME! I'm not the marrying type. ''[The Flying Dutchman's date appears; The Flying Dutchman screams and runs away]''
 +
*'''The Flying Dutchman''': I can't do it. ''SHE WANTS TO MARRY ME! ''I ain't the marrying type.'' [The Flying Dutchman's date appears]'' AAAHHHH!'' [runs away]''
 
[[Category:Episode transcripts]]
  
[[Category:Episode transcripts]]

Revision as of 11:16, 4 August 2012

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "The Curse of Bikini Bottom" from season 7, which aired on October 24, 2009.

  • [SpongeBob and Patrick are lying down outside, all bored]
  • SpongeBob: [yawns] Oh, I'm bored.
  • Patrick: Hmmm... Interesting. Me too! Let's go look for something to do in Old Man Squidward's shed!
  • SpongeBob: Old Man Squidward's shed?!
  • Patrick: [slowly] Yyyyyeeeep!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick:[SpongeBob and Patrick sneak inside] Ooohhh! [they spot Squidward's lawn mower] What's that?!
  • Patrick:What is it?
  • SpongeBob: I don't know, Patrick.
  • Squidward: Ahh. La-da-dee-la-da-dum-la-da-doo! ... [walking towards his shed]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [SpongeBob's pretending to drive it and Patrick is immitating it] [the door is about to open]
  • SpongeBob: It's Old Man Squidward!
  • Patrick: Hide!
  • Squidward: [Searches through his gardening tools] Where's my trowl?
  • Patrick: [whispering] SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: [whispering] Yes, Patrick?
  • Patrick: Is this a trowl? [turns to reveal the trowl in his butt]
  • SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick!
  • Squidward: Oh, here it is. [reaches for it] '[screams] AAAHHHH!!!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [shouts] AAHHH!!!
  • SpongeBob: Don't hurt us, Squidward!
  • Patrick: We're bored!
  • SpngeBob: We just wanted to play with your... [looks at lawnmower and points to it] ...whatever this thing is.
  • Squidward: No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! You morons would probably...! [pauses] You want to play with my lawnmower?
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
  • Squidward: Hmmm... [thinking]
  • SpongeBob: [mowing the lawn with Patrick] Thanks for leting us mow your lawn, Squidward! [SpongeBob and Patrick fall into lawnmower and get cut into pieces offscreen] AHHHH! My patty flipping hand! [SpongeBob and Patrick cry]
  • Squidward: [Not thinking] [laughs to himself and starts the lawnmower] Knock yourselves out!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick are riding around Squidward's yard on the lawnmower. The lawnmower breaks through the gate and rides straight toward the a graveyard. SpongeBob and Patrick giggle.]
  • The Flying Dutchman: Excuse me, Davy, I've got my first blind date in 400 years and I've got to look good. [picks a torn shirt] It's a little torn. Of course this was the shirt I was buried in. Ahhh, memories! [sniffs it] Bleah! [coughs] Okay, that one's a bit ripe. Stained. Too itchy! Hey, there she is! I've been saving this beauty for a special occasion! [puts on coat] Sssss! Looking good! [SpongeBob and Patrick are still riding the lawn mower.' The cave ceiling shakes and dirt lands on The Flying Dutchman's clothes. He 'gets furious] Who dares-- [gets hit by lawnmower] Who-- [gets hit by lawnmower again] --disturb-- [gets hit a second time] --The Flying-- [gets hit a third time] --Dutchman?! [feels his chin, reveals a mirror, and gasps, noticing his beard is gone] ME BEARD! Hey! [gets hit by lawnmower and gets livid. He zaps the lawnmower and takes SpongeBob and Patrick off of it] WHO DARES DISTURB THE FLYING DUTCHMAN?!
  • SpongeBob: You're not The Flying Dutchman!
  • Patrick: Yeah. The Flying Dutchman has a beard.
  • The Flying Dutchman: I don't look like The Flying Dutchman, because... [lividly] ['shouts] YOU MORONS CUT OFF MY BEARD!!!
  • SpongeBob: Ooh! It makes you look a thousand years younger!
  • The Flying Dutchman: I don't want to look younger! I HATE youth! I'll probably get pimples again.
  • Patrick: Your beard will just grow back.
  • The Flying Dutchman: You know nothing about me facial hair. It'll take a thousand years for my beard to grow back!
  • SpongeBob: I'm sorry. But, we don't know what it's like to be ghosts.
  • The Flying Dutchman: Well, now's the time you've learned. Until my beard grows back, I'm going to turn you two fools into ghosts. Prepare to be GHOSTIFIED! [echo]
  • Patrick: "Ghostified"? That's not even a real word.
  • The Flying Dutchman: [zaps SpongeBob and Patrick, but they giggle] Okay, you're having too much fun. [finishes zapping them and they become ghosts].
  • Patrick: [wiggles his ghostly tail] We're mermaids!
  • The Flying Dutchman: You're ghosts!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh'!
  • SpongeBob: [to Patrick] We're ghosts! [with Patrick] Yaayyy!
  • The Flying Dutchman: This isn't really working out the way I imagined.
  • [Bubble transition to Squidward watering his garden]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [emerging from beneath and behind Squidward] [ghostly voice] Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh! Squuiiidwaaarrrd! [Squidward looks behind him]
  • SpongeBob: It's SpongeBob.
  • Patrick: And Patrick! We're ghoooooooosts! [with SpongeBob] 'Ooohhhh!
  • SpongeBob: We're going to haunt you! FOREVEEEEER! [with Patrick] Oohhh-- ! [Squiward sprays them with his hose] [normal voice] Well, that killed the mood. [SpongeBob and Patrick exit the scene]
  • Squidward: I knew I shouldn't have lent them my lawnmower.
  • [Bubble transition at night]
  • SpongeBob: Good night, Patrick. Being a ghost can sure tire ya out!
  • Patrick: Good night, ghostbuddy!
  • SpongeBob: [gets the key to his door, but it falls through his hand] That's odd. However shall I get in? [leans on door and falls through it] That's handy! [yawns] I am beat! Well, I don't have to take the stairs! [flies through the ceiling and into his bedroom, then lies down on his bed] Ah. but falls through the bed, the floor, and ends up underground]
  • [Bubble transition to morning; SpongeBob exits his house with a very sleepy expression. He then goes to Patrick's house].
  • SpongeBob: [tired] Hey, Patrick. I didn't sleep so good last night.
  • Patrick: I didn't sleep at all. I can see through my eyelids. [closes his eyes and can see through his eyes; grabs SpongeBob] MY EYELIDS!!
  • SpongeBob: [gasps] I'm late for work!
  • Patrick: [whispers] My eyelids...
  • [Bubble transition to the Krusty Krab]
  • SpongeBob: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I'm here!
  • Harold: [walks by, gets scared of SpongeBob, seeing him as a ghost, and runs out of The Krusty Krab] [screams] Ahh! Mermaid!
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're late! Why are you bright green, and what happened to your legs?
  • Squidward: He's a ghost, Mr. Krabs.
  • Mr. Krabs: A ghost, eh? Can you still cook Krabby Patties?
  • SpongeBob: Can do, Mr. Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: Then get your Captain's Quarters in the kitchen!
  • SpongeBob: Aye, aye, old living employeer! [flies through Mr. Krabs and into the kitchen, leaving Mr. Krabs covered in slime]
  • Mr. Krabs: Ewww.
  • SpongeBob: [goes through kitchen door] La la la la! [grabs spatula, but it falls through his hand; picks up spatula, whistles, and breaks it, revealing its spirit; uses it to pick up a Krabby Patty, but it falls through; SpongeBob begins to struggle picking up the patty, but it burns, and dissappears; SpongeBob begins to wail] Aaahaahaah! I can't cook Krabby Patties! I don't wanna be a ghost anymore, Patrick!
  • Patrick: I don't either. I can't even eat anything! Food just goes right through me! [eats a Krabby Patty, but it falls through him]
  • Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Bleah! / Yuck!
  • Patrick: Maybe the weird hairless man will change us back?
  • SpongeBob: Yeah! Let's go see The Flying Dutchman!
  • [Bubble transition to The Flying Dutchman's cave, where he is rubbing his chin, which is where his beard used to be]
  • The Flying Dutchman: Well, at least I still have my personality.
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [begging] '[SpongeBob] Change us back! Change us back! We don't like being ghosts! I don't want to be a ghost! [Patrick] Change us back! Change us back! Change us back! We don't like to be a lie again!
  • SpongeBob: Please, Mr. Dutchman, we can't take it! Constantly moaning and groaning!
  • Patrick: Invisible to the world!
  • SpongeBob: [starts to cry] Living without a soul!
  • Patrick: [crying] IT'S MISERABLE!
  • SpongeBob: [sobs] HOW COULD ANYONE LIVE LIKE THIS?! [cut to Squidward sipping tea. He looks back. He continues]
  • The Flying Dutchman: Hmm, I guess you feel my pain. Well, I'll lift the curse from ya. [snaps fingers, but they are still ghosts]
  • SpongeBob: Hey. We're still ghosts.
  • The Flying Dutchman: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The curse will wear off when my beard grows back.
  • SpongeBob: But we want to be normal, now!
  • The Flying Dutchman: Well, I want to be on my date, now! But, you knuckleheads loused that up, too!
  • SpongeBob: We're still ghosts, because you can't go on your date?
  • Patrick: And you can't go on your date because you're ugly?
  • Both: MAKEOVER!
  • [Bubble transition to SpongeBob untying the Dutchman's hair and wraps it around his head; Patrick shakes his head; Bubble transition to SpongeBob spreading jelly on the Dutchman's face. Patrick smashes a jellyfish hive and they land on the Dutchman's face; SpongeBob and Patrick shake their heads]
  • [Bubble transition; SpongeBob is now on the Flying Dutchman's face]
  • The Flying Dutchman: Thanks, fellas! I love the new beard. Well, I'm off on my date. Don't wait up. [he and Patrick laugh]
  • Patrick: I don't get it...
  • Narrator: Several months later.
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick are lying around]
  • SpongeBob: Well, here we are several months later! I wonder how the Flying Dutchman's doing on his date!
  • The Flying Dutchman: I can't do it. SHE WANTS TO MARRY ME! I ain't the marrying type. [The Flying Dutchman's date appears] AAAHHHH! [runs away]
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