This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "The Cent of Money" from season 7, which aired on July 7, 2010.
- SpongeBob: [sings to himself, then addresses Gary] I'm sorry, Gary. I thought you were done.... [now pushed down] Wow. This town is sure going downhill. [bumps into Mr. Krabs' parked boat] Uh, Mr. Krabs. What are you doing out here?
- Mr. Krabs: Well...you know...unwinding. Enjoying the free parking. [The "P" falls off the sign that reads "free parking. Gary's eyes start wiggling] What's happening to your little critter here?
- SpongeBob: I don't know, but when he does that he usually finds change.
- Mr. Krabs: Change? As in legal tender?
- SpongeBob: Yeah. Watch. [A penny flies onto Gary's shell]
- Mr. Krabs: Wow. Shiver me shell wax. You're like a little money detecting... Uh... You know... A sneagle.
- SpongeBob: You mean snail.
- Mr. Krabs: Thank you, SpongeBob. How about you bring your sneagle into work with ye?
- SpongeBob: You said pets were not nothing but disease-carrying vermins that should never be brought to the workplace.
- Mr. Krabs: But that was before I knew that they had such an amazing talent.
- SpongeBob: But the whole process causes Gary big discomfort. I could never do it to him. [leaves]
- Mr. Krabs: [under his breath] I could...
- [Scene skips to the Krusty Krab. Money flies from the floor onto Gary's shell and Mr. Krabs takes it.]
- Mr. Krabs: There you go. Bring in that change. [money comes from the order boat and then from a piece of gum] I've been working on that one for months. [laughs]
- SpongeBob: What's so funny, Mr. Krabs?
- Mr. Krabs: Uhh...SpongeBob. Shouldn't you be out back scrubbing the dumpster?
- SpongeBob: Done and done!
- Mr. Krabs: Then get back there and scrub the poop deck, so to speak.
- SpongeBob: Yes, sir!
- Gary: [gets the coins on his shell]
- Nat: Hey! What are you doing with my change?!
- Mr. Krabs: Your change? Anything on the floor be fair game. [Gary gets change from two people.]
- Sun Breathe Nazz: Hey! [money goes into Mr. Krabs' pockets. The back of Mr. Krabs' pants falls off and a lot of money comes out]
- Mr. Krabs: [laughs] Looks like I need pockets for me pockets! [A whole group of customers walks out of the Krusty Krab, muttering angrily.] Ah. Fine! Go on, the lot of ya! With me new money finder here, who needs ya?! [slams the door] Ahh. I was about to close up shop anyways.
- SpongeBob: Close up! Come on, Gare. You're coming with me.
- Mr. Krabs: You aren't taking him anywhere yet. You haven't greased the fryer yet. [slams a brush in SpongeBob's mouth] Don't worry about Jerry. I'll make sure he gets his nightly craw.
- SpongeBob: Gary.
- [scene skips to Goo Lagoon]
- Mr. Krabs: [uses Gary like a detector. Money comes from the ground and then a sunbather] Heh, heh. Excuse me, ma'am. [scene skips to the middle of Bikini Bottom; Krabs holds Gary over a sewer drain. Money comes from the sewer] Dirty money spends just like the clean. [bumps into SpongeBob and accidentally shoves Gary into his mouth] SpongeBob, what are you doing here?
- SpongeBob: [pushes Gary out] Mr. Krabs, I finished the- [grabs Mr. Krabs' money sack and barfs money into it] I finished scrubbing the fryer, sir.
- Mr. Krabs: You sure make easy work.
- SpongeBob: Try telling that to my frizzled hands. [his hands disintegrate]
- Mr. Krabs: Yeah, but you still have work to do.
- SpongeBob: I do?
- Mr. Krabs: Yeah. How about you rearrange the wall rivets from smallest to largest?
- SpongeBob: But aren't they the same size.
- Mr. Krabs: That's what they want you to know. Now take a long look.
- SpongeBob: Will do, captain. [Leaves] Lalalalalala!
- Mr. Krabs: Now back to our treasure hunt. Eh, boy?
- Gary: Meow. [his eyes wiggle]
- Mr. Krabs: You okay, boy? [money comes out of parking meters]
- Gary: Meow. [hides in his shell]
- Mr. Krabs: That a boy.
- [scene skips to the Krusty Krab]
- SpongeBob: [uses a magnifying glass] Mr. Krabs is right. Some of these rivets are off by as much as five nanometers. Well, I better get to work.
- [scene skips to Mr. Krabs and Gary]
- Gary: [falls asleep]
- Mr. Krabs: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. There's no stopping. There's a laundromat that needs to be cleaned out. [laughs] Cleaned out. Get it? Ahh. Never mind. Mush!
- Gary: Meow.
- Mr. Krabs: If you don't get moving, I'm gonna'...
- SpongeBob: You're gonna' do what, sir?
- Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna' give him a snaily treat. [stuffs a treat in Gary's mouth] See?
- [SpongeBob and Gary look at each other]
- Gary: Meow.
- SpongeBob: Ohh, okay. The rivets are all rearranged.
- Mr. Krabs: What?! How is that possible? Uh, now I want you to paint the Krusty Krab.
- SpongeBob: Okay. That's easy.
- Mr. Krabs: Uh, uh, uh, but I want you to do it with this toothbrush. [gives SpongeBob a toothbrush]
- SpongeBob: Okay. Bye, old pal.
- Gary: [in agony] Meow!
- Mr. Krabs: Oh, no, no, no. Don't worry about Terry. He's in good claws.
- SpongeBob: I'm sure he is. Goodbye.
- Mr. Krabs: Now little sneagle. Ready to do some laundry? [laughs]
- [scene skips to the laundromat]
- Mr. Krabs: Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee.
- Tough guy: Hey, where's my change? [Mr. Krabs runs out with Gary and the coins]
- Mr. Krabs: Hee, hee, hee, hee.
- Tough guy: Well, that stinks.
- [scene to Mr. Krabs and Gary]
- Mr. Krabs: [laughs] I guess he didn't see that coming. [bumps into a building] Hey, what's the big ide-er? We've just found a pot at the end of the rainbow. Aieeeee! [goes in]
- Old Man Jenkins: [coins fly from the machine] What the?
- Mr. Krabs: It's like taking candy from a baby!
- Old Man Jenkins: And that old whip shoo the coins just flew from the machine!
- Security guard: Ahh, don't worry. We'll get to the bottom of this.
- Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh. Pronto. Time for plan B! [grabs a dress]
- [scene skips to the Krusty Krab]
- SpongeBob: Ah ha! That should do it! [climbs down a ladder] Ahh. Time to check in with Mr. Krabs to see if he needs me to do anymore impossible stuff.
- Tough guy: Oh boy, I'm not gonna hear the end of this when I get home.
- SpongeBob: Pardon me sir. You haven't seen a crab walking around with a snail, have you?
- Tough guy: Say, are you in with those thieving criminals too?
- SpongeBob: Uh, thi-thieving what?
- Tough guy: Them two jerks what stole my money. The fat one used his sneagle to swipe my coins from me!
- SpongeBob: His sneagle?
- Tough Guy: That's right. Why, the coins were sticking right to his shell. [walks off muttering]
- Mr. Krabs: [laughs]
- SpongeBob: [looks toward the arcade; gets mad] Mr. Krabs, what have you done to my Gary? [enters the arcade] Huh. So this is what a hotbed of sin looks like.
- [scene skips to the bathroom]
- Mr. Krabs: [laughs] How's it going, boyo? You feeling the coin vibes?
- Gary: Pu, pu, pow.
- Mr. Krabs: What do you mean you don't feel so good?
- Gary: Meow. [sweats]
- Mr. Krabs: You look fine to me. Now quit being such a baby and start making me some money. Excuse me! Excuse me! Pregnant lady coming through! [chuckles and walks into the security guard] Uh, he he. Ooh, boy. It... it sure is hard being preggers!
- Security guard: Uh...yeah. [Mr. Krabs walks on, then notices all the buckets full of coins sitting at the games.]
- Mr. Krabs: [gasps, then squeals as he looks at more buckets] Ooh! [pants. people are carrying buckets and are putting their hands into them. Mr. Krabs gets nervous]
- Mr. Krabs: [to Gary] Get ready for it now, boy, me boy! [to everyone] Ladies and gentlemen! [Everyone looks at Mr. Krabs.] Thank you for your money! [lifts up Gary. Nothing happens.]
- Player 1: Huh?
- Player 2: What? [they go back to their games]
- Mr. Krabs: Come on, Harry! Let's go! [mutters] Come on, you! [shakes Gary]
- SpongeBob: [stomps up behind him] Mr. Krabs! For shame!
- Mr. Krabs: What do you mean? I'm just showing Rory off.
- SpongeBob: Don't you lie to me! I know all about you using Gary to steal money!
- Mr. Krabs: I am doing nothing of the sort! [Gary's eyes wiggle] I would never steal... You have to quit making up stories, boyo!
- [Some of the coin buckets begin to wiggle]
- SpongeBob: I'm not making up anything! I know all about your little scheme! You're the one making up stories!
- [More buckets wiggle]
- Mr. Krabs: Don't you have work you should be doing?
- SpongeBob: Oh, that's rich!
- Mr. Krabs: No, if I was rich, I wouldn't have to hire the likes of you!
- SpongeBob: That's hurtful, Mr. Krabs, and you know it.
- [More buckets wiggle faster]
- Mr. Krabs: Why you little yella...! Well, I never...
- SpongeBob: You never what? Learned to use decent language?
- [All of the coin buckets fly away, and coins burst out of the consoles; people scream and run. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs argue more]
- Mr. Krabs: What happened to the sweet boy I hired so long ago?!
- SpongeBob: In the word you've gave between me and my sneagle I mean snail!
- Mr. Krabs: Who do you think you are?! [the big wave of money begins to approach SpongeBob, Gary, and Mr. Krabs] Jackpot! [throws Gary into SpongeBob's arms and rushes toward the wave of coins] Money, money, money, money, money money, money! [Mr. Krabs keeps running to the big wave of coins] Come to papa! [stops as he realizes his mistake far too late] Oh, boy.
- [Scene skips to the hospital]
- Purple Doctorfish: Yeah he's in pretty bad shape with the impact of all that metal but he'll pull through.
- SpongeBob: Doctor? How does this sort of thing happen?
- Purple Doctorfish: I think this has something to do with it. [gives SpongeBob a magnet]
- SpongeBob: Hey, my Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy fridge magnet!
- Purple Doctorfish: Yes, it appears that your pet swallowed it. It has a very strong magnetic pull. [holds a coin and it flies onto the magnet]
- SpongeBob: Cause' it's a magnet! That's it, Mr. Krabs!
- Mr. Krabs: [laughs] Well, what do ya' know?
- Purple Doctorfish: Unfortunately, there's still the matter of the bill. [gives Mr. Krabs the bill]
- Mr. Krabs: What? Oh, I can't afford this.
- Purple Doctorfish: Actually, it looks like you've got just enough change to cover it. [Mr. Krabs watches a nurse walk away with all the money]
- Mr. Krabs: Nooooooo!