Template:BTranscript Quincy: Next!
SpongeBob: Hey, Quincy! How's my favorite money-man?
Quincy: So...what can I do for you?
SpongeBob: The new Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards come out today! So I need to take out some money.
Quincy: Let me see your book then.
SpongeBob: Sure thing, Quincy, sure thing. (takes out his book named "The Brave Little Toaster")
Quincy: No, your bank book (Spongebob takes out his bank book) Nice...bunnies.
SpongeBob: I know, I know. It's so embarrassing. (Whispering): I wanted the one with the kittens on it.
Quincy: Right. (pulls out SpongeBob's money) Here you are, sir.
SpongeBob: Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to Mermaidman. It simply won't do.
Quincy: I don't think they go directly to Mermaid Man, SpongeBob. But, um. Here. Try this one. (hands SpongeBob a dollar.)
SpongeBob: (sniffs the dollar) This one... smells funny.
Customer in line: Oh Come on! Would ya hurry up?
Customer that looks like robber with money bag: Yeah, some of us have withdrawals to make, ya know?
All customers: (complaining)
SpongeBob: I'll have you know, this is for Mermaid Man! And I'm not leaving until I have money that shows him the proper respect. ( he kicks out the costumers)
All customers: Aw. (one cries.)
SpongeBob and Patrick are at Near Mint Comic Books.
Patrick: One, two, three, four...
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacleb Boy trading cards?
Patrick: No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? FIVE? Holy sock puppet in a swimming pool! This book's good! I'll take it! One, two, three....
Spongebob: One pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards, please.
Comic book dealer: (gets a pack of cards)
SpongeBob: All right!
Comic book dealer: Not so fast! Where's my dollar?
SpongeBob: (pulls out a roll of dollars and pulls one off) Here you are, my good sir.
Comic book dealer: Here you go, kid.
Patrick: Seventeen...
SpongeBob: So...shiny...and smooth! (rubs it against his face and smells it) Ah..oh! Oh! (opens cards) Oooh! Mermaid Man's bubble-powered wheelchair from season 12! And Barnacle Boy's underwear! Holy scallops It's the-
Comic Book Dealer: ha ha ha ha ha! those cards aren't worth nothing! I wouldn't put those cards on the spokes of my bikes! Now you wanna see a card worth talking about check this one out! This is the super rare platnum animated talking card #54!
Voice: Mermaid Man says: (fist swings by and hits Barnacle Boy, while Mermaid Man barely ducks out of the way)
Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!
Comic Book Dealer There are only five in existence.
SpongeBob: How much is it? For this one?
Tom: This one just a display. If you want a real one you'll have to buy as many packs as you can and hope you get lucky!
SpongeBob: (buys another pack) Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And it's... nothing. (throws the cards and buys more) Mmmmmmm...no. (process continues until there is only one pack left) OHHHHH! I'll never find card fifty-four!
Patrick: Ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred! Oh! Counting stinks! Just give me what he's having! Oh, boy! Let's see which card I got! Is this a good card, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: No, it's just another...
Voice: Mermaid Man says:
Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! That's the best card there is!
Patrick: It sure does, the job, all right. (flossing his teeth with number fifty-four)
SpongeBob: Aaahhhhh!! Patrick, you're picking your teeth with it!
Patrick: I'm preventing gingavitus.
SpongeBob: Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number fifty-four talking card! It's really valuable and there's only five in existence. And (Patrick tunes him out and screen turns grey) bla bla bla bla bla bla bla. Bla bla bee bla ba bla- so now do you understand why you should take really good care of that card?
Patrick: Yes, sir. (starts picking his teeth with the card)
Tom: Oh brother.
SpongeBob: I can't let anything happen to that card. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy would never forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack. (puts card in tiny seat belt on Patrick's hand) Phew! Now watch where you're going!
Patrick: Okay. Thanks, buddy.
SpongeBob: Patrick, look out! (jumps in front of Patrick to avoid mud from hitting the card) Ha, that was close.
Patrick: Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly.
SpongeBob: Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander aimlessly around like you've been...
Patrick: What? (walks into Goo Lagoon)
SpongeBob: The card! (stops the card from going underwater) Patrick, why'd you just walk into Goo Lagoon?
Patrick: SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up. Keep you on your toes. (falls from a constroction site and almost lands in fire)
SpongeBob: AAHHH! (jumps in a crane, saves Patrick and drags him back to his home) Here we are! Home safe home! And nothing happened to the card.
Patrick: Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys. (pulls out ice cream cone) Nope. (Pulls out card) There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere.
SpongeBob: The super-rare and priceless Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading card! Patrick! Where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune! You didn't put it in your pocket, did you? It's getting all bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent, bent, bent, bent up!
Patrick: Sheesh. Don't you guys get your pants up in a square not, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in pockets. Black eye, I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat. (pulls card out of his back) You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it?
SpongeBob: You mean...you'd give me your most valuable possession?
Patrick: I'd give you my most valuable possession? (They hug.)
SpongeBob: You're the best pal ever.
Patrick: I'm the best pal ever. But can you do me one favor?
SpongeBob: Sure, pal. Anything for you.
Patrick: Do you mind if I hold on to it? Just for today?
SpongeBob: Um, sure Patrick.
Patrick: Well good. Cuz' my landlord changed the lock again.
SpongeBob: Patrick, wait! Let me call the locksmith.
Patrick: Oh! I don't need any old locksmith.
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! Don't ya think maybe...that you shouldn't...
Patrick: Ugh! Man, this card is fantastic! (Patrick's stomach growls) Breaking and entering sure makes a fella hungry. Hey, why don't we eat some dinner? And then I'll give you your card. (gets a barbecue grill) Ew! This barbecue's really filthy. Oh, but this'll take care of it.
SpongeBob: No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it!
Patrick: Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest. (scrapes grill with talking card) There! Nice and shiny! (lights card on fire and burns charcoal with it)
SpongeBob: Patrick! The card! It's on fire!
Patrick: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it. (spits on card) There! Good as new!
SpongeBob: Ew.
Patrick: (flips burgers with card) Dinner is served. (serves hamburgers on the card)
Mermaid Man (distorted and deeper voice): More car..dddd....
Patrick: Burp! Oh! That hit the spot! Pardon me! (wipes his face with the card) Hey! Look at that! Sundown already? Well, you can have your card now. I hope you get as much use out of it as I have.
SpongeBob: (Sadly) Hmmmmmmm.
Mermaid Man(Distorted and deeper voice): Zzzbbb.. Buy more cards... (card blows up and disintegrates)
SpongeBob: Oh it's ruined! (cries and runs)
Patrick: SpongeBob, what's wrong?
SpongeBob: Now I'll never have Mermaid Man card #54 the special talking one!
Patrick: Aw...sure you will.
SpongeBob: No, no! I spent all my money! And, and, and, and you bought the last pack! So there's no more left in all of Bikini Bottom!
Patrick: Well, what about these? (pulls out four trading cards)
Announcer: Mermaid Man says...(fist punches Barnacle Boy)
Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! Patrick where did you get these?
Patrick: Well that one pack I bought was full of them.
Spongebob: May I have one?
Patrick: They're all yours, buddy. See ya tomorrow.
SpongeBob: Wow!
Patrick: Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards? I locked myself out of the house again.