"The Battle of Bikini Bottom" is a SpongeBob SquarePants episode from season five. In this episode, SpongeBob and Patrick battle over cleanliness.
At the Bikini Bottom Mall, SpongeBob and Patrick try on shirts that read "Best Friend" with arrows pointing to their sides. When they stand besides one another, their shirts point at each other. However, they discover that when either of them faces a different direction, the arrow points elsewhere, thus "sending out the wrong signals." In seeking out new friendship clothes, the pair finds a group of citizens donning traditional military uniforms. Mistaking the uniforms for "matching outfits", they are taught that the fish are participating in a reenactment of the Battle of Bikini Bottom. When SpongeBob reveals that he is unaware of the historical event, Patrick erroneously recounts the conflict between two supposed factions: the clean, obsessed with personal hygiene, and the dirty, unconcerned with such matters.
SpongeBob, upon realizing that Patrick sympathizes with the filthy side, expresses his disgust. The two begin to argue, to the annoyance of the fish trying to recreate the actual battle. SpongeBob and Patrick appropriate uniforms and engage in their own reenactment of Patrick's imagined war, driving the fish away. SpongeBob and Patrick commence their battle, exchanging a series of volleys in which SpongeBob attempts to bolster Patrick's cleanliness and Patrick attempts to defile SpongeBob's sanitary nature. This culminates in a standoff in which SpongeBob consumes a soap bar and prepares to pelt Patrick with soap bubbles shot through his pores. Patrick, in retaliation, picks up a dumpster and hurls it at SpongeBob as he starts his assault. The bubbles scour Patrick off his feet just as the dumpster lands on SpongeBob.
In the aftermath, Patrick is made squeaky clean and SpongeBob is coated in filth. As they reflect upon the copious amounts of cleaning/soiling that it will take to return them to their respective states of tidiness/mess, they realize that this only means that they are provided an opportunity to indulge in what they each love to do. As they reconcile, the fish return, intolerant of a stalemate. SpongeBob gives a sermon on the duality of their conflict, and makes a case for neutrality on the basis that one side cannot exist without another to provide reference to each other. The fish dismiss SpongeBob's message, forgoing the frilliness of reconciliation for "more manly" pastimes. Satisfied, SpongeBob and Patrick walk into the sunset.
|( ‣ ) Associated production music|
|( • ) Original music|
|( ◦ ) SpongeBob music|
‣ Fife and Drum March - Larry Hochman [title card]
‣ Shoppers World - Harry Bluestone [opening]
‣ Colonial March - Larry Hochman ["You mean like those guys?"]
‣ We Shall Return! 2 - Udi Harpaz [Patrick talks about the Battle of Bikini Bottom]
‣ Steel Sting - Jeremy Wakefield ["Ugh! That's not what happened!"]
‣ Gator - Steve Belfer [flashbacks]
‣ Seaweed - Steve Belfer ["Well, then, I guess we can't be friends."]
‣ Colonial March - Larry Hochman ["I am joining the other side!"]
‣ Grass Skirt Chase - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob gives Patrick a pedicure]
‣ ? [harp music]
‣ Skipping to School - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Patrick's morning breath]
‣ Grass Skirt Chase - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob brushes Patrick's teeth]
‣ The Jitters - Raymond C. Jones [deodorant spray]
‣ Hawaiian Link (b) - Richard Myhill ["My beautiful pit stink... it's gone!"]
‣ Team Trophy - Sammy Burdson, John Charles Fiddy ["It's booger time!"]
‣ Drama Link (d) - Hubert Clifford [Patrick picks his nose]
‣ Inferno - Fredric Bayco [Patrick chasing SpongeBob]
‣ Vibe Sting - Nicolas Carr ["Gold?!"]
‣ Steel Sting (a) - Jeremy Wakefield ["Did you get any of Patrick's gold?"]
‣ Inferno - Fredric Bayco [SpongeBob throws onions at Patrick]
‣ Unknown Track 47 - "That does it!"
‣ Hawaiian Party - Jan Rap, Peter Smid [patty socks]
‣ Tension Bits - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield ["Grrrrr! You stop that right now!"]
‣ Sponge Monger - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Patrick throws dumpster at SpongeBob]
‣ Steel Licks (d) - Jeremy Wakefield ["I'm covered in muck and scum!"]
‣ Vibe Q Sting - Nicolas Carr [SpongeBob, Patrick thinking]
‣ You're Nice - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield ["All right!"]
‣ Royal Wedding - Harry Bluestone, Emil Cadkin [SpongeBob's speech]
‣ Puka A - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [ending]
- As of May 9, 2017, The Internet Movie Database (IMDB) gives this episode a rating of 7.2/10 based on 145 ratings by users. TV.com users give this episode a rating of 6.6/10 based on 11 votes.
- The episode title is similar to that of Battle for Bikini Bottom, a SpongeBob SquarePants video game from 2003.
- In this episode, Patrick says he has never washed his hands. However, in the episode "Something Smells," Patrick is seen washing his hands in the movie theater bathroom.
- The close-up of SpongeBob's teeth was featured in the SpongeBob SquarePants online game Cavity Crisis.
- Contrary to this episode, Patrick has brushed his teeth before in previous episodes, as seen in "Dumped" and "Rise and Shine."
- SpongeBob says that Patrick does not have a nose, however, he is shown to have one in "Wet Painters" and "That's No Lady."
- Patrick has been clean in other episodes (such as "Shanghaied") and SpongeBob is dirty in other episodes like "Gary Takes a Bath."
- In this episode, it is shown that Patrick's eyes are navy-blue, although in "Wormy," his eyes are green, and in "Oral Report," they are jade.
- This is the second episode to have a title card background on a pirate map. The first is "Arrgh!"
- If counting this episode segment and its sister in one episode instead of separate segments, the previous and next episodes are both specials in-between this episode.
- The Battle of Bikini Bottom could be a parody of the Revolutionary War, judging from the military uniforms. The red-coated soldiers have British accents in the flashback, and the blue coats have American accents. This is a reversal of the actual war, in which the Patriots wore blue, and the British wore red.
- In the scene with the Bikini Bottomites firing soap and trash with their cannons, some of the trash lands in the air, so it appears floating.
- As Bill says "That's not what happened," one of Patrick's eyebrows are missing until he turns his head.
- In one scene, SpongeBob's eyelashes disappear for a split second.
- After SpongeBob pedicures Patrick, the chair and bucket of water in the background disappear.
- SpongeBob also paints Patrick's toenails red. After he turns to SpongeBob and says "You sick little monster!" and "Feast my morning breath!," the red nail polish is gone.
- If one listens closely as Patrick loses his armpit hair, he can be heard coughing and choking even though his mouth does not move.
- When SpongeBob is running in Jellyfish Fields, saying "Ahhh, booger!," one of his white teeth turns yellow for a split-second.
- On the DVD release, if one plays it frame by frame, during the scene when Mr. Krabs runs into the kitchen looking for gold, they can see the door actually opens before Mr. Krabs pushes it.
- When Patrick says "Hopping... clams!" the captions say "Hopping... crabs."
- When Patrick was thrown out the window, the Chum Bucket didn't appear.