"That's No Lady" is a SpongeBob SquarePants episode from season four. In this episode, Patrick is disguised as a woman.
While Patrick is running around in Bikini Bottom, a stranger with a briefcase yells at him telling him to "get out of town," causing Patrick to run away scared. But then the stranger tells another fish to "get out of town," and shows that it was a flyer for a luxury vacation at a modest price to Sunny Shore Resorts. Patrick, unaware of this, runs to SpongeBob and tells him about it. SpongeBob is shocked by the briefcase and tells Patrick he might be a paid assassin. Patrick becomes convinced that he is in danger and tells SpongeBob he is going to move.
He starts to pack "his" things (actually SpongeBob's), and is ready to leave. But SpongeBob is not ready to let him go and asks who will perform his daily activities on a list with him (all of which include Patrick) and asks who will be going to attend the next Jellyfisherman's Expo with him. Patrick says that he has to do them with one of his other friends and SpongeBob continues crying.
SpongeBob comes up with a few ideas of changing Patrick's identity. First, he tries giving Patrick glasses, but he is frightened and runs into the wall. Larry, who is passing by, recognizes him and Patrick is ready to give up and ironically says goodbye to everything except the people. However, SpongeBob does not give up. As he is about to suggest something, Patrick thinks of being Mr. Seaweed Monster Man and puts the kelp he said good-bye to on his head. SpongeBob points out that there already is a Mr. Seaweed Monster Man in Bikini Bottom. Patrick is upset and SpongeBob says that though he can't be a monster, in which the vegetation on his head gives him an idea.
Patrick comes out of a dressing room dressed as a woman that SpongeBob calls "Patricia." They walk around town to see if their plan worked and everyone thinks Patrick is a woman, leading SpongeBob and Patrick to be glad that their plan worked. However, every male Bikini Bottomite they run into falls in love with Patricia, especially Squidward and Mr. Krabs, who only hires Patricia since she "was" a girl. Mr. Krabs and Squidward also flirt with Patricia, although this doesn't present a problem to him. They fight over "her" and repeatedly pop out of places asking if "she" can go out with them while Patrick repeatedly says no, irritated. Patrick has no idea what's making Mr. Krabs and Squidward act so weird and nice to him. All of the men fight over Patricia but "she" ignores them.
Patrick feels that he can't take it anymore and is tired of pretending to be someone he's not. SpongeBob says he can't reveal himself or he'll have to leave town, but Patrick chooses to anyway. Just as he is about to announce to everyone his true identity, he sees the stranger that told him to get out of town and panics. He says that he would eat any leftovers on the customers' plates. He warns SpongeBob about the stranger, who asks Patrick to take his order. He goes over to him nervously and takes his order. Unfortunately, the fish recognizes him. SpongeBob sees this and confronts the stranger while protecting Patrick. He says that the stranger will have to go through him if he wants to run Patrick out of town (while actually calling Patrick "Patrick" instead of "Patricia," shocking Squidward and Mr. Krabs).
Later, he finds out the fish ("the guy with the briefcase") was just trying to sell him a luxury vacation at a modest price. Patrick then rips off all of his disguise, revealing him to be completely naked. When the Bikini Bottomites find out the truth, Squidward's eyelids start to close tight after seeing Patrick naked, and Mr. Krabs fires Patrick because he isn't a girl. SpongeBob and Patrick then run out of the Krusty Krab doing their plans on the list, much to the shock of everyone else in the Krusty Krab.
|( ‣ ) Associated production music|
|( • ) Original music|
|( ◦ ) SpongeBob music|
‣ Hawaiian Train - Victor Cavini [title card]
‣ Drama Link (e) - Hubert Clifford [Patrick screams and runs away]
‣ Vibe Q Sting - Nicolas Carr [salesman confused]
‣ On the Beach - Kapono Beamer [salesman giving out flyers]
‣ Drama Link (f) - Hubert Clifford [Patrick running towards SpongeBob's house]
‣ Drama Link (g) - Hubert Clifford ["I got to get going!"]
‣ Vibe Sting - Nicolas Carr ["Hmm..."]
‣ Search Party 1 [#48] - Harry Bluestone, Emil Cadkin ["A briefcase?!"]
‣ Hawaiian Cocktail - Richard Myhill [SpongeBob and Patrick crying]
‣ Fates [#61.02] - Gregor F. Narholz ["What about all our plans?"]
‣ Harp Ding - Nicolas Carr [SpongeBob gets an idea]
‣ Steel Sting (a) - Jeremy Wakefield ["There you go, Patrick."]
‣ Surfing Crazy - Warren Bennett ["Yo, Patrick, cool shades."]
‣ South Pacific Island II - Victor Cavini [Patrick saying goodbye to things]
‣ Steel Licks (a) - Jeremy Wakefield [Mr. Seaweed Monster Man]
‣ Lap Steel - Nicolas Carr ["You're all set."]
‣ Sleazy Sax - Richard Myhill [Patrick dressed as a woman]
‣ Hawaiian Link (b) - Richard Myhill [later...]
‣ California Baby (b) - Jerry Burnham, Wayne Cook ["SpongeBob, you never told me you had a girlfriend."]
‣ Hello Sailor (b) - Richard Myhill [Krabs appears]
‣ Undertow - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Krabs falls in love with "Patricia"]
‣ Dream of Tomorrow - Trevor Duncan [Patrick enters the Krusty Krab]
‣ The Tip Top Polka/The Cliff Polka - Chelmsford Folk Band ["Just keep your eyes on the customers, Mr. Squidward."]
‣ Captain Lenoe's - The Folk Players ["I guess you'll have to help me finish all this food."]
‣ Cocktail Lounge - Dick Stephen Walter [Krabs puts on music]
‣ Steel Licks (b) - Jeremy Wakefield ["Quite an appetite, but she's all woman."]
‣ ? - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [Squidward playing clarinet]
‣ Romantic Beguine - Harry Bluestone, Emil Cadkin ["They don't call me the sizzle-lip squid for nothing."]
‣ Bugle Fanfare - Harry Bluestone, Emil Cadkin [Krabs orders Squidward to get back to work]
‣ Moonlight Beguine - Harry Bluestone, Emil Cadkin [Krabs and Squidward asking Patrick out]
‣ Dramatic Cue (f) - Ronald Hanmer ["What is it about me that makes those two so friendly?"]
‣ Waltz Elegante [#25] - Harry Bluestone, Emil Cadkin ["The lovely Patricia has returned to us."]
‣ Dramatic Cue (a) - Ronald Hanmer [salesman enters]
‣ ? - Nicolas Carr [Patrick nervous]
‣ Vibe Q Sting - Nicolas Carr ["Huh?"]
‣ Like Strange - Kenny Graham ["Aren't you gonna take my order?"]
‣ Dramatic Cue (d) - Ronald Hanmer ["PATRICK?!?!"]
‣ On the Beach - Kapono Beamer [flyer]
‣ Nude Sting - Nicolas Carr [Patrick takes off the disguise]
‣ On the Beach - Kapono Beamer [ending]
- As of February 27, 2017, The Internet Movie Database (IMDB) gives this episode a rating of 7.5/10 based on 179 ratings by users. TV.com users give this episode a rating of 8.3/10 based on 129 votes.
- This episode aired in Germany on October 14, 2006 which was one month before it aired in the United States.
- This episode was available on the Whale of a Birthday DVD before it aired on American television.
- When Patrick packed a case, he packed SpongeBob's clothes, peanut butter, and pickles.
- When Squidward first meets "Patricia," he calls him "Rubenesque," which means, of a woman, large and full-figured, or plump and pleasing. This is a reference to Sir Peter Paul Rubens, a Flemish painter whose paintings often depicted large women.
- Running Gag: Mr. Krabs and Squidward flirting with "Patricia" and being rejected each time.
- This is the first time Patrick is dressed like a girl. The second is in "Love That Squid," and the third is in "Oral Report."
- This is the second of four episodes transcribed as a comic into the SpongeBob SquarePants/Tokyopop book "Mistaken Identity." The other three were "Once Bitten," "The Thing," and "Rule of Dumb."
- This is the second time the Krusty Krab is open on a Sunday (although they are normally closed on Sunday), the first being on "Squid's Day Off."
- This was the last episode to premiere in 2006.
- This is the last episode to use lowercase closed-captioning until the season 9 episode "Lost in Bikini Bottom."
- This episode takes place on either a Monday, Tuesday, or a Wednesday as Mr. Krabs and Squidward mention Friday, Saturday, and Sunday as future dates. It is known that it cannot be Thursday because then, Squidward would have said, "Friday night," not "tomorrow night."
- In Germany and The Netherlands, this episode is called "Patricia," the name of Patrick's new identity.
- In Italy, this episode is called "Un grosso equivoco," which means "A big misunderstanding."
- In the Greek dub, this episode is called "Ε όχι και κυρία'" translating to "Not and Lady."
- In Russia, this episode is called "Милашка" translating to "The Pretty Girl."
- This episode has been banned in some countries since it features cross-dressing and some sexual innuendo jokes.
- This episode premiered 5 years before "The Way of the Sponge," "Bubble Troubles," "The Krabby Patty That Ate Bikini Bottom," and "Bubble Buddy Returns" premiered and "You Don't Know Sponge" and "Tunnel of Glove" premiered in Poland and 10 years before "CopyBob DittoPants" premiered in Poland.
- The sunglasses worn by Patrick look similar to the ones SpongeBob wore by Geordi la Forges VISOR from Star Trek.
- When the first display of the vacation paper, "To Beautiful Seashore Resorts" is seen. When SpongeBob looks at the paper, it says "To Beautiful Sunny Shore Resorts."
- When Patrick runs towards SpongeBob's house, his windows have no shades, but in the next scene, one of the windows do have shades.
- After SpongeBob showed the picture of the Jellyfishmen Expo picture to Patrick, SpongeBob's legs are gone in the next shot.
- When Patrick is crying over his new identity, his green skirt turns yellow for a fraction of a second.
- When Mr. Krabs was laying out the table cloth, the #7 sign somehow disappears.
- When Patricia says "No way" to Squidward while he is hosting, clams appear on his top and quickly disappear again.
That's No Lady