SpongeBob: ♪La La La La La La La La! Getting Clean! La La La La La doo doo doo! Ohhhh, what a delightful day it is...♪ [soap slips out of SpongeBob's hands] NOOOOOOOOOOO! [Soap lands on the ground far away from the shower] Good thing I have a spare! [opens new bar of soap] I still have one more thing to clean. [sticks soap through his ear and washes his brain. Gets out of shower and slips through his wringer] Ohh, what would I do without you, wringer? Guess I'd be all wet! [laughs and gets dressed] And now I'm ready to go to work! [slips on soap] AAAAAAA! [ gets up off ground] You've gotta be more careful, SquarePants! [spare bar of soap falls on the floor] Always gotta be watching out for... things. Things like... [notices soap]... that! Oh, I saw ya. Not gonna fool me this time, soap. [soap frowns. Then SpongeBob steps on rubber duckie. He jumps back onto the soap, slipping him in his wringer. He tries to escape] This is not going well.
Patrick: Hey SpongeBob, have you seen my rubber duckie?
SpongeBob: Oh, is that it?
Patrick: I found you! Duckie Duck! [laughs] Quack, quack, quack!
SpongeBob: Uhh, Patrick?
SpongeBob: I hate to interrupt your reunion, but I kind of need your help over here.
Patrick: What do you need SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Well, I'm a little stuck, if you know what I mean.
Patrick: Stuck? I can help with that. [reaches for a bottle marked "Forever Glue" and applies it to the wringer] There ya go, buddy! Now you're stuck forever!
SpongeBob: Gee thanks, Patrick! now I'm stuck for- fe, fe, fe, forever. [when the glue stars to dry SpongeBob tries to escape, but it's too late] Patrick, I wanted to get un-stuck not more stuck! How am I going to get to work if I'm stuck here forever? Must get out of Wringer! [SpongeBob uses his eyes, nose and mouth to get out of the wringer but he gets pulled back] AAAAHHHH!!
Patrick:[breaks wringer off of the ground] There, is that better?
SpongeBob: No Patrick. It isn't. How am I supposed to flip patties like this?
Patrick: Okay, ya know what, SquarePants? That's quitter talk. And are you a quitter?
Patrick: And are you going to let this wringer get between you and your passion? Those sweet tomatoes, crisp onions. ARE YA, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: No. I'm won't let it get between me and those crisp onions, sweet tomatoes, fresh lettuce, a flame- broiled patty, a warm bun sprinkled with sesame seeds, served with a smile that says, "HEY! I CAN!" I'm ready!
Patrick: That's the spirit!
SpongeBob: Woo! [crashes into door and falls down the stairs] Don't worry Patrick! My spirits are still high!
[cut to the Krusty Krab]
SpongeBob: Hello, perfectly made Krabby Patty. Order's up!
Squidward: It's about time. [looks at SpongeBob and giggles] Hey SpongeBob, love the outfit. Where'd you get it, the hardware store?! [laughs] Hardware store!
SpongeBob:[laughs] Hardware store! No, from my bathroom.
Squidward: Well, I must say, it really completes your imbecile look. Way to go, buddy.
SpongeBob: Aw, thanks, pal. [accidentally squirts mustard in Squidward's eye]
SpongeBob: Ohh! Squidward! Squidward! [jumps on Squidward's stomach] Are you okay?
Squidward: Please just get away from me.
Customer: Excuse me, can I have a refill on my soda?
SpongeBob: Ohh! A refill! [hits cash register, which falls on customer's foot]
Customer: Oww! Oh, my foot! Oh, my foot! [bumps into table] Oww! My back! [bumps into table] My face!
SpongeBob: Gasp! Not to worry, sir. I'm comi-i-i-i-ing-- [hits cash register, which opens and spews money everywhere] WHOA! [smashes into a pole] Don't worry, everybody, I'm okaah! [sees customers taking the money] Hey! Don't touch Mr. Krabs' money!
Mr. Krabs: Me money! What do you think yer doin'? That ain't yours. Thank you very much. When I get my hands on that boy... [SpongeBob struggles to get out of the pole, blasts out, exclaims, crashes into Mr. Krabs and the other customers]
SpongeBob: Here, Mr. Krabs. I'll help.
Mr. Krabs:[shouts] Help?! I think you've helped quite enough today. [shows destroyed restaurant] And don't even think about coming back here until that destructive device of yours is gone. [throws SpongeBob out of the Krusty Krab]
Patrick: Hey SpongeBob, how was work?
SpongeBob: Oh, an absolute disaster. I can't do anything without this stupid wringer getting in the way. Patrick, I am nothing more than a-- a bike rack. A sad, sad, sad, sad little bike rack. [kid chains his bike to the wringer. SpongeBob starts crying]
Patrick: Hey! Don't you go crying on me! [uses a hair dryer to dry SpongeBob's teary eyes] Crying never solves anything. I know what always makes you feel better.
[cut to Super Weenie Hut Jr's]
SpongeBob: You were right! Ice cream always makes me feel better!
Patrick: Dig in!
SpongeBob:[He tries to eat ice cream, but can't because his hands are stuck in the wringer, so he uses his tongue but he can't swallow it] I can't even eat ice cream now?! This dumb wringer's in the way!
Patrick: Bummer. Hey, ya know what? Forget this place. Let's go to the carnival. That's the funnest spot in the ocean. [then he eats SpongeBob's ice cream. cut to the carnival]
Patrick: Look! The ball toss!
Ball Toss Vendor: Step right up folks! Throw a ball, hit the cans, and win a stuffed seahorse!
Patrick: We wanna play!
Ball Toss Vendor: Sure. Gimme your best shot. [hands Patrick some balls]
Patrick: Thanks. [throws ball and knocks down all of the cans] Woohoo! [to SpongeBob] Now you try.
SpongeBob:[throws ball as best he can. It bounces back and hits SpongeBob in the face, and he gets a nasty black eye]
Patrick: Ohh! Ohh! The spinning steering wheels! Oh, we gotta do that!
SpongeBob: I don't know... I have too much eye pain.
Patrick: Oh, come on! How many times does the carnival come to town?! [they walk away revealing a sign that says "Carnival Always Here". Then they get into one of the seats in the ride] Ready?
SpongeBob:[struggles to reach the handle, but it's too late, the ride already starts and SpongeBob is flung out of the ride]
SpongeBob:[flying through the air] Oh, dear Neptune! WHY?!
[Later in the day at the carnival]
Patrick: Hey pal, want some of my cotton candy? They gave it to me when I won the dart tournament. I got this too! [shows off his ribbon] Check it out!
SpongeBob: That's nice, Patrick, but I don't want any cotton candy.
Patrick: Well, have some. It'll make you feel better.
SpongeBob:[his patience has run out] I said I don't want any! [turns and knocks it onto the ground]
Patrick: You ruined my cotton candy!
SpongeBob: Good! Maybe now you know how I feel about you ruining my life!
Ball Toss Vendor: Check it out! Public fight!
Other Vendor: Working at the carnival sure has its perks. [crowd gathers around SpongeBob and Patrick]
SpongeBob: I have never felt so ashamed.
Patrick: What do you mean?
SpongeBob: If it wasn't for your Forever Glue, I wouldn't be stuck in this thing!
Patrick: I was only trying to help.
SpongeBob:[shouts] Help?! I think you've helped quite enough today! [This is the exact same thing Mr. Krabs said earlier]
Patrick: Okay, if that's how you feel... I won't help you anymore! [runs off sobbing. the crowd looks angrily at SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Heh, heh, a lot of drama with that one.
Sandals: Ya know, kid, your body isn't the problem. It's your heart. [heart groaning] You deserve what you've gotten. C'mon, we're out of here. [crowd grumbling, murmuring] Some people are just born mean.
[cut to Patrick's Rock]
Patrick:[his rock opens to reveal him brushing his teeth] Forget SpongeBob, I don't need him. [brushes his armpit, then his belly button, then puts the toothbrush back in his mouth] I can do whatever I want! [then eats the toothbrush] Ahhh! I don't need him. [looks at SpongeBob's house and almost calls for SpongeBob to come out, but stops himself] Forget it, you're not his friend anymore. I gotta keep myself occupied so I don't think about Sponge-- [stops] I'm not gonna even say his name! What to do, what to do... I know! I'll have a staring contest! [stares off into space, then blinks] Ohh, fiddlesticks. That game's to hard.
Patrick in a Thought Bubble: Maybe if SpongeBob was here he could give you pointers.
Patrick: Who asked you?! [claps the thought bubble away] Forget it. I'll just play...uh... fetch! [throws stick, which lands on SpongeBob's doorstep] Where is it? Where is it? Gotcha! [pauses, puts his ear to SpongeBob's door] Is SpongeBob okay? Oh, what do I care? I'm no longer supposed to help. [walks away, but then runs back] Buddy! [throws door off hinges] Uhh! SpongeBob? SpongeBob? Hey, whatcha watchin'?
SpongeBob:[in chair watching TV, in a trance] My favorite show. [shows static on the TV. Then the TV dies] Ha, ha, I love that part!
Patrick: SpongeBob! Snap out of it! It's me, your best friend, Patrick!
SpongeBob: What's that? I can't hear you what with all the lonely voices in my head.
Patrick: Oh, man -- he's too far gone.
SpongeBob: Not fit to live in society...
Patrick:[crying] This is all my fault! Me and my dumb ideas! [holds up his Forever Glue] I'm so sorry! [A tear falls from his eye and runs down SpongeBob's arm, and lands on the dried glue on the wringer. The tear melts the glue and SpongeBob is able to pull his arm out]
SpongeBob: Patrick! Your tears! They're melting the glue! Keep crying! I'll do the same and maybe I can slip out of this thing! [Both start crying, and all of the glue melts off. He then pulls himself out of the wringer] Look! It worked!
SpongeBob and Patrick: All right! [SpongeBob throws the wringer up in the air]
SpongeBob: I guess crying does solve your problems after all. Come here, buddy! [SpongeBob and Patrick hug. The wringer falls down, trapping SpongeBob and Patrick in it]
Patrick: Well, at least we're together! Heh. Hey, should I get the glue?