(New page: (Outside SpongeBob's house.) SpongeBob: Hey, someone left a package! I wonder what's inside. Stanley: Hello. SpongeBob: Aah! Stanley: It was awful there! SpongeBob: Cousin Stanle...) |
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+ | {{EpisodeTr/100b}} |
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− | (Outside SpongeBob's house.) |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Hey, somebody left me a package! Ahhhhhh ohhhhhhhh ah heavy! I wonder what's inside.}} |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Hello.}} |
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− | SpongeBob: Hey, someone left a package! I wonder what's inside. |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|''[screams]''}} |
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− | Stanley |
+ | {{L|Stanley|Ooh... cramped in there!}} |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Cousin Stanley!}} |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Cousin SpongeBob! ''[both shake their tongues]''}} |
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− | SpongeBob: Aah! |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|So what brings you to Bikini Bottom, Stanley?}} |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Uncle Sherm said I should come visit you. I have a note from him somewhere. Oh, right. It's in here. ''[pulls the note out of his head]'' Here it is.}} |
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− | Stanley: It was awful there! |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|''[reading it]'' Dear SpongeBob. I'm sending your cousin Stanley to live with you. He can't hold down a job and he ruins everything he touches. I can't take it anymore. Maybe you can straighten him out. Love, Uncle Sherm. Well, it's okay living here, Stanley! My pineapple is your pineapple.}} |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Wow! You have your own refrigerator. I never had one of these living with Uncle Sherm. ''[accidentally throws out its contents]'' Whoa!}} |
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− | SpongeBob: Cousin Stanley! |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Well, now I don't have to clean it out.}} |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|''[Off-screen]''Yahahaahoo!}} |
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− | Stanley: Cousin SpongeBob! |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob| ''[Walks to the washroom and knocks on the door]'' Stanley! You OK in there Stanley?}} |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Your toilet is so cool! Is that what I think it is? ''[Runs to the TV, the toilet starts overflowing, SpongeBob opens the door. Water rushes out]''}} |
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− | SpongeBob: So what brings you to Bikini Bottom, Stanley? |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Well, it was bath night.}} |
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+ | {{L|''[Stanley flips through the channels on the TV]''}} |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|TV...}} |
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− | Stanley: Uncle Sherm sent me here to visit you. I have a note here somewhere. Oh, right. It's in here. (pulls the note out of his head) Here it is. |
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+ | {{L|Announcer|Only $29.99!}} |
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+ | {{L|Squirrel|You'll never take me alive, flat foot!}} |
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− | SpongeBob: (reading it) Dear, SpongeBob. I'm sending you cousin Stanley to live with you. He can't hold down a job and he ruins everything he touches. I can't take it anymore. Maybe you can straighten him out. Love, Uncle Sherm. Well, I guess its fine, Stanley. |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Uncle Sherm never let me watch TV at home.}} |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Why not? ''[an explosion happens]''}} |
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− | Stanley: Wow! You have your own refrigerator. I never had one of these living with Uncle Sherm. (accidentally throws its contents) Whoa! |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|That's why... What's that?}} |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Oh, that's okay. There's nothing good on TV anyway. ''[He is now clearly annoyed]'' Nothing...}} |
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− | SpongeBob: Well, I guess I don't have to clean it anymore. Stanley! What's going on in there? |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|''[looking at a picture of SpongeBob in front of the Krusty Krab]'' You work at the Krusty Krab?}} |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|I don't just work there! I'm vice assistant general manager in charge of certain things. That's me turning the front door key! That's me serving a customer! And that's me performing sanitary maintenance!}} |
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− | Stanley: You have a toilet, oh cool! Is that what I think it is? (SpongeBob opens the door. an explosion happens.) |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Oh! Who's that!}} |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Oh, that. That's me making Krabby Patties! The best job in the world. It's my calling.}} |
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− | SpongeBob: Well, it was bath night. |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|I wish I had a calling.}} |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Oh, Stanley. You just haven't found your purpose in life, that's all!}} |
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− | Stanley: TV... Uncle Sherm never let me watch TV at home. |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|You really think so?}} |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|I know so. I bet my friend Squidward can help you! ''[outside]'' Hi, Squidward. I'd like you to meet my cousin Stanley.}} |
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− | SpongeBob: Why not? (an explosion happens) |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|We're related.}} |
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+ | {{L|Squidward|There's two of them?! ''[screams and gets all his things, and puts a "For Sale" sign next to his house]''}} |
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− | Stanley: Oh, that's why. What's that? |
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+ | {{L|Squidward|Step on it! ''[drives off]''}} |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Your friend Squidward seems busy.}} |
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− | SpongeBob: Oh, it's okay. There's nothing good on TV anyway. Nothing... |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Oh, it's ok. I'm sure my friend Sandy can think of something. She's a scientist! ''[cuts to the treedome]''}} |
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+ | {{L|Sandy|Hey, SpongeBob. Who's your friend?}} |
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− | Stanley: (looking at a picture of SpongeBob in front of the Krusty Krab) You work at the Krusty Krab? |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|This is my cousin, Stanley SquarePants. I thought you could teach him how to be a scientist.}} |
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+ | {{L|Sandy|Why, sure! Glad to meet you, partner.}} |
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− | SpongeBob: Yes! I'm best at doing those things. (looking at pictures) That's me opening the front door key! That's me sending orders! And that's me peforming sanitary maintenance! |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Nice to meet you too, Sa... ''[Stanley trips on a rock In Slow Motion ]'' Whoa! ''[his buck teeth rip a hole in Sandy's air suit]''}} |
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+ | {{L|Sandy|Uh oh. ''[zooms up]'' Yall... darn it!!!}} |
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− | Stanley: And what's that? |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Err... Maybe you're not scientist material. But don't you worry. I bet Patrick can help you! He's a genius! ''[at Patrick's house]'' And so, Mr. Star, that's why we came to you.}} |
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+ | {{L|Patrick|Looking for your calling, huh? ''[examines Stanley]'' Hmmm... So, what are you good at?}} |
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− | SpongeBob: That's me making Krabby Patties! Best job in the world. I call it. |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Nothing.}} |
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+ | {{L|Patrick|Nothing at all?}} |
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− | Stanley: I wish I had a job. |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Yep.}} |
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+ | {{L|Patrick|Interesting. Let's see how good you are at nothing.}} |
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− | SpongeBob: Oh, it's okay, Stanley. There's nothing perfect in life. You're good. |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|That's perfect! Patrick can do nothing better than anyone! ''[whispers in Stanley's ear]'' You'll be learning from the master!}} |
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+ | {{L|Patrick|Come with me. First, sit down on this chair. Clear your mind. Empty it off all thoughts... until you're doing... absolutely... nothing. ''[does nothing]''}} |
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− | Stanley: You really think so? |
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+ | {{L|Spongebob|See? Isn't he amazing?}} |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Clear my mind. Do nothing. ''[focuses on Stanley's difficulty to do nothing]'' I can't do it!}} |
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− | SpongeBob: I think so. I think you should see my friend Squidward, though. (outside) Hi, Squidward. I'd like you to meet my cousin Stanley: |
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+ | {{L|Patrick|You're not worthy for instruction in the immobile arts. Leave my presence!}} |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Can I try?}} |
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− | Stanley: We're related. (Squidward runs out of the house with all his things. He puts a "for sale" sign next to it. A truck reading "Bikini Bottom Movers" comes up. Squidward places his things inside and gets in it |
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+ | {{L|Patrick|Good-bye! Not a word!}} |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|I can even do nothing right.}} |
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− | Squidward: Step on it! |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Don't worry! We just have to keep on looking! ''[looks at his watch and takes out his Krusty Krab hat]'' Oh, gentle hat, symbol of employment! Cornerstone of my eternal happiness! I don thee now, in preparation, for this workday. ''[kisses it and puts it on]'' Wooo! You have no idea how this feels.}} |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|No! ''[starts to cry]''}} |
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− | Stanley: Your friend Squidward is busy. |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Hey, what's wrong, Stanley? You're not still upset about that whole never accomplished anything in your life thing, are you?}} |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|No.}} |
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− | SpongeBob: Oh, it's ok. I'm sure my friend Sandy can think of something. (at the treedome) |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Good, then why don't you come with me to work. Maybe seeing me totally fulfilled with cheer you up.}} |
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+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Here's me little money maker. ''[Kisses SpongeBob]'' Are you gonna make me lots of money today?}} |
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− | Sandy: Hey, SpongeBob. Who's your friend? |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Yes sir!}} |
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+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Ah, if only there are two of you...what? One, two? There's two?! He looks like you. He smells like you. He tastes like you! Is he a hard worker, just like you?}} |
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− | SpongeBob: This is my cousin, Stanley. I think you can tell him how to be a scientist. |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Uh...}} |
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+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, is he!}} |
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− | Sandy: Sure. Glad to meet you, Stanley. |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Yes sir.}} |
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+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[money comes into his pants]'' You've got the job!}} |
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− | Stanley: Nice to meet you too, Sa...(Stanley trips on a rock) Whoa! (his buck teeth rip a hole in Sandy's air suit) |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|''[at cash register with Stanley]'' Your job is to take people's money, and put it in here! ''[points to register]''}} |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Ooh! Can I touch it? ''[register explodes]''}} |
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− | Sandy: (floating up to the surface) Oh, boy. Stanley! |
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+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[in office]'' Money? ''[sniffs]'' Burning?! ''[jumps out of office and onto money, gets covered with tar and sobs]'' SpongeBob? Who's responsible for this?}} |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Well... guess I am, Mr. Krabs.}} |
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− | SpongeBob: I think she's just not scientist material. But don't you worry. I bet Patrick can help you! He's a genius! (at Patrick's house) And so, Mr. Star, that's why we came to you. |
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+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|You're on probation, boy!}} |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|''[at the kitchen]'' Well, Stanley. Thanks to you, I'm on probation. If you wanna keep this job, you have to work hard! ''[customer comes in]'' Woo! Customer at the port bow! Man your stations! Man your stations! Ready for duty!}} |
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− | Patrick: Looking for your call, huh? (examines Stanley) What are you good at? |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Hey, my first customer. Hi, I'm Stanley! Ohhh! This is SO exciting!}} |
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+ | {{L|Harold|Hmm...I'd like a...}} |
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− | Stanley: Nothing. |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Wait! Wait! ''[snaps picture]'' I don't want to ever forget this moment! That's gonna be a keeper. Now let's do one with funny hats! ''[last picture]'' Ooh! Let's pretend we're mad at each other! ''[snaps picture]''}} |
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+ | {{L|Harold|''[explodes]''}} |
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− | Patrick: Nothing at all? |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|I said I'm ready Stanley. ''[commotion]'' Whoa! ''[SpongeBob rushes to the cash register and starts taking and making the orders as fast as he can, soon everyone in the resturaunt burps making the Krusty Krab float and shake, everyone is satisfied and leaves the resturaunt, Mr. Krabs burst in to see what's going on]''}} |
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+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|SpongeBob! What's the meaning of this? Your station looks horrible. Take some pride in your work, boy! Look at your cousin Stanley, for example. Spiffing up his workplace with meaningful photos of the customers! ''[looks at wedding picture]''}} |
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− | Stanley: Yep. |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|''[goes into office]'' Um...sir?}} |
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+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Yes, boy?}} |
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− | Patrick: Interesting. Let's see how good you are. Nothing. |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|About my cousin Stanley?}} |
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+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Yes, yes. The one I hired entirely on your recommendation. Hurry up, boy.}} |
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− | SpongeBob: That's perfect! You can do nothing better than anybody! All because you're the master! |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|About what I said...}} |
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+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|What? You didn't lie to me just so your cousin could get the job, did ya?}} |
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− | Patrick: Come with me. First, sit down on this chair. Hear it. Empty your whole thoughts. Clear your mind. Nothing. |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|No.}} |
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+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, good. Because there are plenty of other relatives that got passed over for the job!}} |
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− | Stanley: I must clear my mind. Nothing. (Stanley is nervous. he hears Patrick's clock ticking and sees Patrick making a weird face) Nothing. No! |
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+ | {{L|Sandy's Cousin|''[scottish accent]'' Aye, 'tis true!}} |
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+ | {{L|Squidward's Cousin|Whatever.}} |
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− | Patrick: So you're not following my instruction to be immobile, huh? Leave, my brethren. |
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+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|I even turned down my three adorable nephews.}} |
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+ | {{L|Nephews|''[in unison]'' But Uncle Krabs!}} |
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− | Stanley: Can I try? |
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+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|They solve mysteries. ''[laughs]'' Now go solve the mystery of why you didn't get the job!}} |
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+ | {{L|Nephews|}} |
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− | Patrick: Leave! |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Stanley, I cannot keep covering for you! ''[sees that Stanley has bent Spat]'' No! Not my spatula! My spatula... ''[sniffs]'' The thing I hold nearest and dearest to my heart...}} |
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+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|What in the name of Neptune is going on? Oh. You broke your spatula. That's a shame. I'll order a another one tomorrow,boy.}} |
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− | Stanley: I can do nothing right. |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|''[Screaming]''NO! NO! NO! I didn't break my spatula. He did! And I also didn't burn your money. He did that, too! I have been covering for him because he can't do ANYTHING right!!}} |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|He's right! I destroy everything I touch! ''[runs off crying]''}} |
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− | SpongeBob: Don't worry! We just have to keep on looking! (looks at his watch and takes out his Krusty Krab hat) Oh, gentle hat, symbol of employment! Stone of my eternal happiness! (kisses it and puts it on) Wooo! You have no idea how this feels. |
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+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Wait a minute...I know the perfect job for you! [bubble transition]}} |
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+ | {{L|SpongeBob|''[next day]'' Good luck on your new job, cousin Stanley!}} |
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− | Stanley: No! (starts to cry) |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Thanks! I bet I'll be even better in this one!}} |
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+ | {{L|Plankton|Good morning, Mr. SquarePants!}} |
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− | SpongeBob: Hey, what's wrong, Stanley? You're not still upset about that whole never accomplished anything in your life thing, are you? Good, then why don't you come with me to work. Everything you need is to see what it's like! |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Morning, boss.}} |
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+ | {{L|Plankton|I can't believe it! That fool Krabs hiring the blood relative of his best worker! ''[big explosion as Mr. Krabs watches through windows]'' Well, that's the end of me.}} |
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− | Mr. Krabs: Hello, my litle money maker. Are you gonna make me lots of money today? |
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+ | {{L|Stanley|Sorry, boss.}} |
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+ | [[Category:Episode transcripts]] |
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− | SpongeBob: Yes! |
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− | Mr. Krabs: Ah, if only there are two of you...what? |
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− | SpongeBob: This is my cousin Stanley! He'd like a job. |
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− | Mr. Krabs: The other one. He feels like you. He smells like you. He tastes like you! Hmm...yes! You've got the job! (starts his job. he touches the register) Money. Burning? SpongeBob! Are you responsible for this? |
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− | SpongeBob: I guess I am. (at the kitchen) If you wanna keep this job, you have to work! Woo! I have to take that out. For duty! |
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− | Stanley: Hey, our first customer. Hi, I'm Stanley! |
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− | Harold: Hmm...I'd like a... |
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− | Stanley: A picture coming up! I don't want to forget this moment. Let's take a part! (after many pictures, the customer cannot take it anymore. he explodes) Wait till I get this developed. (the line complains) |
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− | SpongeBob: I hear something! Aah! (the customers start a riot. Mr. Krabs goes in the kitchen) |
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− | Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What's the meaning of this? Your workplace looks horrible. Try to get to work, boy! Why don't you act like Stanley, boy? Caring about the customers! (Mr. Krabs looks at a wedding-themed picture of Stanley and Harold) |
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− | SpongeBob: Um...sir? |
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− | Mr. Krabs: Yes, boy? |
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− | SpongeBob: About the new one? |
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− | Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes. The one I hired on your recommendation. |
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− | SpongeBob: About what I said... |
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− | Mr. Krabs: What, boy? You didn't lie to me about taking your cousin on the job, didn't you? |
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− | SpongeBob: No. |
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− | Mr. Krabs: Well, good. Because there are plenty of other cousins I didn't pass applying for a job. |
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− | Sandy's Cousin: (scottish) |
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− | Squidward's Cousin: Whatever. |
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− | Mr. Krabs: I even turned down my three adorable nephews. It's not great. Now go think about why you didn't get the job! |
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− | SpongeBob: Stanley, I cannot keep covering for you! (sees that Stanley has bent Spat) No! Not my spatula! My spatula...I had this for years in my heart. |
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− | Mr. Krabs: What in the name of neptune is going on? Oh. You broke your spatula. That's cheap. I don't even do it, boy. |
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− | SpongeBob: No! No! No! I didn't break my spatula. He did! I also didn't break the money. He did, too! I hed to keep on covering for him because he can't do anything right! |
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− | Stanley: He's right! I destroy everything I touch! (runs off crying) |
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− | Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute...I know the perfect job for you! |
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− | SpongeBob: Good luck on your new job, Stanley! |
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− | Stanley: Oh, I bet I'll do even better at this one! |
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− | Plankton: Good morning, Stanley! |
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− | Stanley: Good morning, boss! |
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− | Plankton: That fool Krabs letting the relative of his passed worker...(the Chum Bucket explodes as Mr. Krabs watches through the window) Well, it came to be. |
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− | Stanley: Sorry, boss. |
Revision as of 03:53, 28 November 2015
Template:EpisodeTr/100b
- SpongeBob: Hey, somebody left me a package! Ahhhhhh ohhhhhhhh ah heavy! I wonder what's inside.
- Stanley: Hello.
- SpongeBob: [screams]
- Stanley: Ooh... cramped in there!
- SpongeBob: Cousin Stanley!
- Stanley: Cousin SpongeBob! [both shake their tongues]
- SpongeBob: So what brings you to Bikini Bottom, Stanley?
- Stanley: Uncle Sherm said I should come visit you. I have a note from him somewhere. Oh, right. It's in here. [pulls the note out of his head] Here it is.
- SpongeBob: [reading it] Dear SpongeBob. I'm sending your cousin Stanley to live with you. He can't hold down a job and he ruins everything he touches. I can't take it anymore. Maybe you can straighten him out. Love, Uncle Sherm. Well, it's okay living here, Stanley! My pineapple is your pineapple.
- Stanley: Wow! You have your own refrigerator. I never had one of these living with Uncle Sherm. [accidentally throws out its contents] Whoa!
- SpongeBob: Well, now I don't have to clean it out.
- Stanley: [Off-screen]Yahahaahoo!
- SpongeBob: [Walks to the washroom and knocks on the door] Stanley! You OK in there Stanley?
- Stanley: Your toilet is so cool! Is that what I think it is? [Runs to the TV, the toilet starts overflowing, SpongeBob opens the door. Water rushes out]
- SpongeBob: Well, it was bath night.
- [Stanley flips through the channels on the TV]
- Stanley: TV...
- Announcer: Only $29.99!
- Squirrel: You'll never take me alive, flat foot!
- Stanley: Uncle Sherm never let me watch TV at home.
- SpongeBob: Why not? [an explosion happens]
- Stanley: That's why... What's that?
- SpongeBob: Oh, that's okay. There's nothing good on TV anyway. [He is now clearly annoyed] Nothing...
- Stanley: [looking at a picture of SpongeBob in front of the Krusty Krab] You work at the Krusty Krab?
- SpongeBob: I don't just work there! I'm vice assistant general manager in charge of certain things. That's me turning the front door key! That's me serving a customer! And that's me performing sanitary maintenance!
- Stanley: Oh! Who's that!
- SpongeBob: Oh, that. That's me making Krabby Patties! The best job in the world. It's my calling.
- Stanley: I wish I had a calling.
- SpongeBob: Oh, Stanley. You just haven't found your purpose in life, that's all!
- Stanley: You really think so?
- SpongeBob: I know so. I bet my friend Squidward can help you! [outside] Hi, Squidward. I'd like you to meet my cousin Stanley.
- Stanley: We're related.
- Squidward: There's two of them?! [screams and gets all his things, and puts a "For Sale" sign next to his house]
- Squidward: Step on it! [drives off]
- Stanley: Your friend Squidward seems busy.
- SpongeBob: Oh, it's ok. I'm sure my friend Sandy can think of something. She's a scientist! [cuts to the treedome]
- Sandy: Hey, SpongeBob. Who's your friend?
- SpongeBob: This is my cousin, Stanley SquarePants. I thought you could teach him how to be a scientist.
- Sandy: Why, sure! Glad to meet you, partner.
- Stanley: Nice to meet you too, Sa... [Stanley trips on a rock In Slow Motion ] Whoa! [his buck teeth rip a hole in Sandy's air suit]
- Sandy: Uh oh. [zooms up] Yall... darn it!!!
- SpongeBob: Err... Maybe you're not scientist material. But don't you worry. I bet Patrick can help you! He's a genius! [at Patrick's house] And so, Mr. Star, that's why we came to you.
- Patrick: Looking for your calling, huh? [examines Stanley] Hmmm... So, what are you good at?
- Stanley: Nothing.
- Patrick: Nothing at all?
- Stanley: Yep.
- Patrick: Interesting. Let's see how good you are at nothing.
- SpongeBob: That's perfect! Patrick can do nothing better than anyone! [whispers in Stanley's ear] You'll be learning from the master!
- Patrick: Come with me. First, sit down on this chair. Clear your mind. Empty it off all thoughts... until you're doing... absolutely... nothing. [does nothing]
- Spongebob: See? Isn't he amazing?
- Stanley: Clear my mind. Do nothing. [focuses on Stanley's difficulty to do nothing] I can't do it!
- Patrick: You're not worthy for instruction in the immobile arts. Leave my presence!
- Stanley: Can I try?
- Patrick: Good-bye! Not a word!
- Stanley: I can even do nothing right.
- SpongeBob: Don't worry! We just have to keep on looking! [looks at his watch and takes out his Krusty Krab hat] Oh, gentle hat, symbol of employment! Cornerstone of my eternal happiness! I don thee now, in preparation, for this workday. [kisses it and puts it on] Wooo! You have no idea how this feels.
- Stanley: No! [starts to cry]
- SpongeBob: Hey, what's wrong, Stanley? You're not still upset about that whole never accomplished anything in your life thing, are you?
- Stanley: No.
- SpongeBob: Good, then why don't you come with me to work. Maybe seeing me totally fulfilled with cheer you up.
- Mr. Krabs: Here's me little money maker. [Kisses SpongeBob] Are you gonna make me lots of money today?
- SpongeBob: Yes sir!
- Mr. Krabs: Ah, if only there are two of you...what? One, two? There's two?! He looks like you. He smells like you. He tastes like you! Is he a hard worker, just like you?
- SpongeBob: Uh...
- Mr. Krabs: Well, is he!
- SpongeBob: Yes sir.
- Mr. Krabs: [money comes into his pants] You've got the job!
- SpongeBob: [at cash register with Stanley] Your job is to take people's money, and put it in here! [points to register]
- Stanley: Ooh! Can I touch it? [register explodes]
- Mr. Krabs: [in office] Money? [sniffs] Burning?! [jumps out of office and onto money, gets covered with tar and sobs] SpongeBob? Who's responsible for this?
- SpongeBob: Well... guess I am, Mr. Krabs.
- Mr. Krabs: You're on probation, boy!
- SpongeBob: [at the kitchen] Well, Stanley. Thanks to you, I'm on probation. If you wanna keep this job, you have to work hard! [customer comes in] Woo! Customer at the port bow! Man your stations! Man your stations! Ready for duty!
- Stanley: Hey, my first customer. Hi, I'm Stanley! Ohhh! This is SO exciting!
- Harold: Hmm...I'd like a...
- Stanley: Wait! Wait! [snaps picture] I don't want to ever forget this moment! That's gonna be a keeper. Now let's do one with funny hats! [last picture] Ooh! Let's pretend we're mad at each other! [snaps picture]
- Harold: [explodes]
- SpongeBob: I said I'm ready Stanley. [commotion] Whoa! [SpongeBob rushes to the cash register and starts taking and making the orders as fast as he can, soon everyone in the resturaunt burps making the Krusty Krab float and shake, everyone is satisfied and leaves the resturaunt, Mr. Krabs burst in to see what's going on]
- Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What's the meaning of this? Your station looks horrible. Take some pride in your work, boy! Look at your cousin Stanley, for example. Spiffing up his workplace with meaningful photos of the customers! [looks at wedding picture]
- SpongeBob: [goes into office] Um...sir?
- Mr. Krabs: Yes, boy?
- SpongeBob: About my cousin Stanley?
- Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes. The one I hired entirely on your recommendation. Hurry up, boy.
- SpongeBob: About what I said...
- Mr. Krabs: What? You didn't lie to me just so your cousin could get the job, did ya?
- SpongeBob: No.
- Mr. Krabs: Well, good. Because there are plenty of other relatives that got passed over for the job!
- Sandy's Cousin: [scottish accent] Aye, 'tis true!
- Squidward's Cousin: Whatever.
- Mr. Krabs: I even turned down my three adorable nephews.
- Nephews: [in unison] But Uncle Krabs!
- Mr. Krabs: They solve mysteries. [laughs] Now go solve the mystery of why you didn't get the job!
- Nephews
- SpongeBob: Stanley, I cannot keep covering for you! [sees that Stanley has bent Spat] No! Not my spatula! My spatula... [sniffs] The thing I hold nearest and dearest to my heart...
- Mr. Krabs: What in the name of Neptune is going on? Oh. You broke your spatula. That's a shame. I'll order a another one tomorrow,boy.
- SpongeBob: [Screaming]NO! NO! NO! I didn't break my spatula. He did! And I also didn't burn your money. He did that, too! I have been covering for him because he can't do ANYTHING right!!
- Stanley: He's right! I destroy everything I touch! [runs off crying]
- Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute...I know the perfect job for you! [bubble transition]
- SpongeBob: [next day] Good luck on your new job, cousin Stanley!
- Stanley: Thanks! I bet I'll be even better in this one!
- Plankton: Good morning, Mr. SquarePants!
- Stanley: Morning, boss.
- Plankton: I can't believe it! That fool Krabs hiring the blood relative of his best worker! [big explosion as Mr. Krabs watches through windows] Well, that's the end of me.
- Stanley: Sorry, boss.