- SpongeBob SquarePants
- Stanley S. SquarePants (debut)
- Sherm SquarePants (mentioned)
- Gary the Snail (cameo in photo)
- Infomercial voice
- Squirrel (debut)
- Bald fish on the TV (debut)
- Eugene H. Krabs
- Nat Peterson (normal; gray)
- Squidward Tentacles
- Sandy Cheeks
- Patrick Star
- Harold "Bill" Reginald
- Martha Smith
- Medley Fishbowl
- Vera Fishbowl
- Abigail Marge
- Frankie Billy
- Jimmy Gus
- Nancy Suzy Fish
- Tina Fran
- Sandy the cousin (debut)
- Squidward's cousin (debut)
- Mr. Krabs' nephews (debut)
- Sheldon J. Plankton
One sunny day, SpongeBob notices a package outside of his house. While carrying it, he states that it's heavy. When SpongeBob lifts the package, which is very heavy, and places it on a table. He then opens the package, and the face of a sponge that looks a lot like SpongeBob is inside, and he says hello. Shocked, SpongeBob panics and jumps backwards, and his cousin Stanley then comes out, whom SpongeBob recognizes immediately. They do a victory screech, and then SpongeBob asks him why he has come. Stanley produces a letter for SpongeBob from his Uncle Sherm. It states that Stanley cannot hold a job because he destroys everything he touches, and he can't take it anymore. Hoping SpongeBob can deal with Stanley better, he sent Stanley to him.
SpongeBob is happy to take Stanley in, and Stanley immediately rushes to the refrigerator, stating that Uncle Sherm never let him near the refrigerator. He then throws everything out of it and rushes to the bathroom. He causes the toilet to flood and then rushes to the television. However, he flicks through the channels too quickly and causes the television to explode. Stanley then admires pictures of SpongeBob working at the Krusty Krab, which SpongeBob says is his calling. Stanley is sad because he doesn't have a calling, and SpongeBob decides to see if Squidward can help him.
Squidward gets scared because there are two "SpongeBob's" and moves out because he thought that he was going to get annoyed. Next, SpongeBob takes Stanley to see Sandy. When he is about to shake her hand, he trips over a rock, and his buck teeth tear a hole in Sandy's suit, sending her flying upwards. SpongeBob then takes Stanley to see Patrick, and Patrick asks him if there is anything he is good at. Stanley says there is nothing he is good at, so Patrick decides to test how good he is 'at nothing'. Patrick tells Stanley to clear his mind and do absolutely nothing, but Stanley just can't resist the urge to move, and yells that he can't do it, and Patrick tells him to leave.
SpongeBob's watch then beeps, alerting him that it is time to go to work, and SpongeBob, temporarily forgetting Stanley's problem, puts on his hat and says Stanley has no idea how good it feels. This causes Stanley to start crying, and SpongeBob says maybe Stanley watching SpongeBob work will cheer him up. When they arrive at the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs sees Stanley, and is excited, as he believes this means there are two SpongeBobs. He asks SpongeBob if Stanley is a hard worker, and Stanley begs SpongeBob to say yes, so he does. Mr. Krabs then hires Stanley. SpongeBob shows Stanley the cash register, but the moment he touches it, it goes up in flames. Mr. Krabs smells the money burning and rushes to try and save it. Unable to do so, he asks SpongeBob who is to blame, and SpongeBob takes the blame for him.
When the first customer comes to the register, Stanley is excited, and takes many pictures of him and the customer, and then rushes off to get them developed, leaving a long line of customers angrily waiting at the register. SpongeBob sees this and frantically serves everyone in the line, making a mess of the kitchen as he does so. SpongeBob tries to tell Mr. Krabs about Stanley, but Mr. Krabs interrupts him, showing him all the people who were turned down for the job, so SpongeBob doesn't tell him. He then walks back into the kitchen to find that Stanley has broken SpongeBob’s spatula. Mr. Krabs walks in, and thinks SpongeBob broke his spatula, and this makes SpongeBob furious, and he tells Mr. Krabs that Stanley broke his spatula, and burned the cash register. Stanley starts crying, saying he ruins anything he touches, and Mr. Krabs gets an idea. He lets Stanley get a job at the Chum Bucket, and Plankton initially believes Mr. Krabs was foolish, however, almost immediately Stanley destroys the Chum Bucket, and the episode ends with him saying "Sorry boss."
|( ‣ ) Associated production music|
|( • ) Original music|
|( ◦ ) SpongeBob music|
‣ Hula Festival - George Elliott [title card]
‣ Drama Link (d) - Hubert Clifford [SpongeBob screams]
‣ Skipping to School - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield ["Cousin Stanley!"]
‣ Tentically Speaking - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Stanley breaks SpongeBob's TV]
‣ Dramatic Cue (d) - Ronald Hanmer ["There's two of them?!"]
‣ Grass Skirt Chase - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Squidward moves out]
‣ Marlin March - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Stanley meets Sandy]
‣ From the Dead - Ronald Hanmer [Stanley accidentally rips Sandy's suit]
‣ Lap Steel - Nicolas Carr [Sandy floats up]
‣ Goofy Conversation - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [at Patrick's]
‣ Unease - Dick Stephen Walter ["Clear my mind... do nothing..."]
‣ Steel Licks (b) - Jeremy Wakefield ["You're not worthy of instruction in the immobile arts."]
‣ Solo Steel - Jeremy Wakefield ["I can't even do nothing right."]
‣ Colossus - Alan Hawkshaw ["Oh, gentle hat, symbol of employment..."]
‣ Steel Licks (d) - Jeremy Wakefield [Stanley crying]
‣ The Tip Top Polka/The Cliff Polka - Chelmsford Folk Band [at the Krusty Krab]
‣ Sailor's Sting 3 - "He looks like you."
‣ Tension Bits - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob nervous]
‣ Fanfare (b) - Nicolas Carr [Krabs hires Stanley]
‣ Steel Sting (d) - Jeremy Wakefield [Stanley at the cash register]
‣ Dramatic Cue (a) - Ronald Hanmer [register bursts into flames]
‣ Drama Link (b) - Hubert Clifford ["Money... BURNING?!"]
‣ Drama Link (g) - Hubert Clifford [Krabs jumps onto the money]
‣ Steel Licks (b) - Jeremy Wakefield [Krabs cries]
‣ Deadline - Sam Spence ["Customer off the port bow!"]
‣ The Achterhoek Dances - Jan Rap [Stanley takes a photo of himself with the customer]
‣ Jarabe Tapatio (a) - Gerhart Frei, Carlos Periguez [Stanley and customer wearing sombreros]
‣ Explorers 1 [#99] - Harry Bluestone [diving suits]
‣ Wedding March - Felix Mendelssohn-Bartholdy, Ed Wernov [bride and groom outfits]
‣ Steel Link (b) - Jeremy Wakefield ["I can't wait to get these developed."]
‣ Dramatic Cue (c) - Ronald Hanmer [SpongeBob serving customers]
‣ Keel Row - Brian Peters ["SpongeBob, what's the meaning of this?!"]
‣ Nude Sting - Nicolas Carr [shot of bride and groom photo]
‣ Nautical Hijinx - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [SpongeBob tries to talk to Krabs]
‣ Duncan Gray - Robert Alexander White [Scottish Sandy]
‣ Unknown Track 26 - Nicolas Carr [teenage Squidward]
‣ The Pollywog Strut - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anhtony [Krabs' nephews]
‣ House of Horror - William Farran [the camera zooms on a bent spatula]
‣ Unknown Track 70 - "My spatula... the thing I hold nearest and dearest to my heart."
‣ Dramatic Impact 2 - Ivor Slaney ["NO, NO, NO!"]
‣ Hawaiian Link (b) - Richard Myhill ["He's right. I ruin everything I touch!"]
‣ Harp Ding - Nicolas Carr [Krabs gets an idea]
‣ Kalua Jubilee - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [ending]
- This episode is available on the SpongeBob's WhoBob WhatPants?, Season 5 Volume 2, Complete Fifth Season, and First 100 Episodes DVDs.
- As of May 9, 2017, The Internet Movie Database (IMDB) gives this episode a rating of 7.2/10 based on 141 ratings by users. TV.com users give this episode a rating of 6.8/10 based on 141 votes.
- This episode's production number marks the 100th episode in the series.
- This episode was set to premiere with "The Battle of Bikini Bottom," but aired with "Banned in Bikini Bottom" instead.
- The title card for this episode is similar to those of "The Bully" and "Truth or Square," since the background is based on SpongeBob's skin.
- The reading glasses SpongeBob wears are the same ones that he uses to go jellyfishing and to page through the dictionary in "Just One Bite."
- When the letter is shown, the words "I'm free, free!" can be seen at the bottom.
- On a picture of SpongeBob serving a Krabby Patty to Nat Peterson, Nat is brown and tan.
- SpongeBob says "That's perfect! Patrick can do nothing better than anyone!" to Stanley because Patrick gets a "do nothing better than anyone" award in "Big Pink Loser."
- When Mr. Krabs rolls around on the money, it isn't on fire, but part of him and his clothes turn black.
- At some point in this episode, Harold appears to be wearing nothing but a sombrero.
- When Mr. Krabs yells at SpongeBob, he shrinks in size into his pants. His sleeves shrink in size with him, when they should stay the same.
- Sandy is shown to have a Scottish relative, possibly meaning that her relative lived in Scotland and Sandy lived in Texas, or the relative lived in Scotland before moving to Texas.
- Squidward's teenage-style family member is blond and turquoise as Squidward in the flashbacks of "The Original Fry Cook" was depicted with as Squidward's hair color.
- Both Sandy's and Squidward's relatives can be seen.
- Patrick is the only one of SpongeBob's friends not to have a relative shown in this episode.
- Mr. Krabs is revealed to have three nephews in this episode. Therefore, one of their parents is Mr. Krabs' sibling.
- This is the second time that there is a Scottish character. The first time was the Scotsman in "Patty Hype."
- This is the second time the Chum Bucket explodes. The first time was in "Imitation Krabs."
- This is the third time Uncle Sherm was mentioned. The first was in "Krab Borg" and the second was in "Pest of the West."
- This was the last episode to premiere in 2007.
- This episode marks the season finale of season 5.
- In Germany, this episode is called "Stanley S. Schwammkopf" which means "Stanley S. Spongehead."
- This is the only season 5 episode in which Plankton does not play a major role.
- Stanley SquarePants is a possible parody to Stanley Yelnats IV in the book (later a movie) Holes.
- When Stanley changes the channels on the television, a parody of Rocky and Bullwinkle appears.
- Mr. Krabs' Nephews are a parody of Donald Duck's nephews, Hewy, Dewy and Louie, and the fact that they solve mysterious things, a parody of their role in the show DuckTales.
- In the scene where Stanley destroys SpongeBob's refrigerator, a brown liquid is thrown on SpongeBob's face. In the next scene when Stanley destroys SpongeBob's toilet, the brown liquid on SpongeBob's face is gone.
- In the scene where Stanley questioned SpongeBob if he works at The Krusty Krab, if one looks closely, one can see the pictures moved places after SpongeBob explained the pictures.
- When Stanley is tripping on a rock and SpongeBob says "You'll be learning from the master.," Stanley has eyelashes in those scenes, but he normally does not have any.
- When Stanley is crying, SpongeBob looks at his watch. In the next shot, it's gone (the camera even zooms in on SpongeBob hand to guarantee it's gone).
- When Mr. Krabs rolls around on the money, it is not on fire but part of him and his clothes turn black.
- It's said that Stanley breaks everything he touches, but he did not break the camera when he was going to take pictures.
- Maybe Stanley can only use cameras well.
- When Stanley runs out of The Krusty Krab holding a camera, his wedding hat he was previously wearing is missing.
- In the close up of the wedding photo with Stanley and Harold, Stanley has no eyebrows.
- When Sandy's relative from Scotland speaks, he or she is blowing on a pipe, and a bubble comes out and it comes out of his or her helmet and pops. That is impossible unless there is a door where the bubble can leave from, otherwise, it went right through the glass.
- Mr. Krabs' nephews call him Uncle Krabs when they should refer to him as Uncle Eugene since that's his first name.
- When SpongeBob yells, "No! Not my spatula!," he does not have any legs.
- At the end of the episode, Plankton states it's the end of him, but he isn't correct because he was seen in future episodes.
- On Netflix, this episode is erroneously described as "Stanely S. SquarePants."