Squidward in Clarinetland/transcript

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(a Beautiful day in bikini bottom)

• Car leaves and pieces of asphalt flying in squidward's face

Squidward: Ahh.. What a day!

• Squidward singing and enters the Krusty Krab and spongebob accidentaly hit Squidward with the door

Spongebob: Good morning Krusty Krab!

Spongebob: Oh.. Sorry Squidward! Didin't see ya there!

Squidward: Not a problem spongebob, not a problem at all!

Krabs: Specials? We don't have specials!

• Scratches the slateboard while prople cant stand the screeching sound (execpt Squidward)

Squidward: Good morning sir! Welcome to the Krusty Krab

Thaddeus: Uh... I'll Think i'll have a Krabby patty

• his bad breath punches Squidward, plugs his nose and still happy

Squidward: 1 Krabby Patty coming up!

Krabs: Mr. Squidward, you're in a chipper mood this morning, did u get an order of fancy decorative soaps in the mail or somethin?

Squidward: Even better, I have a clairinet recital immediately after work today! So ain't nothing gonna ruin my day

• Nazz's baby accidently squirts his milk from his bottle onto Squidward's clarinet box

Nazz: Oh terribly sorry sir.

Squidward: No need! See? Not a drop!

• Nazz's baby drools onto Squidward's clarinet

Squidward: Grr.. I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY MORE!!!

Krabs: I told you, there's no early-bird specials, now stop calling me here. Mother

Squidward: This is unacceptable!

Krabs: What?

Squidward: THIS!!

• points a clarinet

Krabs: Nice to have ya back Squidward.

Squidward: THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!! I no longer tolerate my personal items being soiled by the ravels that crawls in this resturaunt! I demand a place to put my stuff!

Krabs: Hmm.. Okay, uhhh. I suppose you could put it with the nacho cheese, no one's got near that in years.

Squidward: You ever read this?

• Hands out a book

Krabs: Bikini Bottom Labor Regulations? EEEWW! GROSS! (grows hives) GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME! IT'S GIVING ME HIVES!

Squidward: It specifically states that all employers must provide his or her employees with a secure, clean place to store personal property.

Krabs: Gahh! Blast you Squidward! You drive a hard bargin. I guess i could rustle somthing up for ya.

• patties sizziling

Spongebob: Yeah... Sizzle those juices.

• Krabs brings a rusty locker

Krabs: Oh! Here we go! Found it!

Spongebob: WOW, What is it?

• spiders eats away spongebobs arm

Krabs: it's me old navy locker. good as new!

• opens and shows bones of Corperal Sterling

Spongebob: Who is that Mr. Krabs?

Krabs *as he empties the locker*: uuhh.. Appears to be corperal Sterling, lad, heh forgot all about that prank.(he empties the locker) Squidward! Your locker is ready!

Spongebob: ooh! Do we share our lockers like we share hairnets?

Squidward: Not in a whale's age.

Krabs: naw not so fast Mr. Squidward, the law requieres that all' employees have a secure place for personel items. So you are requiered by law, to share.

Squidward: ohh I suppose i can share but only says if requiered by law. Hey! this thing is filthy! YOu dont expect me to clean it!?

Spongebob *with a bucket of water and duster*: No he dosen't! i dont eather!

• dusts the locker, Squidward and Krabs coughs due to dust

• opens door, absorbs the water and blasts it onto the locker, Locker looked good as new.

Krabs: Blimey! She hasn't sparkled like this since boot camp! Carry on boys.

Squidward: Impressive indeed. Just keep your grubby little hands to your side.

Spongebob: You got it Squidward. Finally I have a clean place to store my toothbrush

Squidward: Just dont touch my clarinet!

Spongebob: I promise nothing untoward will happen.

• Shuts locker

---

• Rings bell

Squidward: Order up Spongebob!

• walk towards spongebob

Squidward: What do you think your doing? Youre supposed to be fry cooking. I told you not to touch my stuff!

Spongebob: I didin't! I wore protective gloves! And besides, don't you like how classy it look now?

Squidward: Valvet..

Spongebob: Now i like to stand by and idlely chat with you Squidward, But i must attend to my Krusty Krab duties! in the future Pleast keep your interruptions to a minimum sir, please!

---

• Spongebob comes in with a load of appliences.

Squidward: And here's your change mam.

Squidward: WHAT IS THAT IDIOT DOING NOW?

• throws change on ground

Customer: LOOSE CHANGE!!!

• People starts collect as Mr. Krabs bursts out and yells like a dog to scare them away

Squidward: I hope your not trying to shove the boxes into that locker!

Spongebob: Too late! it's already done.

Squidward: IF YOU SMASH MY CLARINET SO HELP ME NEPTUNE I WILL-

• opens locker

Spongebob: Dont worry Squidward theres plenty of room!

• walks inside the locker room

Spongebob: I... Expanded a bit.

Squidward: well its all fine and dandy but where's my clarinet?

Spongebob: Well that's simple

Spongebob: We just simply consult the card catalog and find.. Squidward's Clarinet drawer 36●8-B

• opens cabinet and reveals squidward's clarinet.

Spongebob: See?

Squidward: Fine. but remember, It's vitally important that nothing happens to it

Spongebob: Don't worry buddy!

• slams drawer shut

Spongebob: your in good hands.

---

• Places order onto Scooter's table

• applience noises coming from the locker. Squidward checks the locker

Squidward: What's he doing!?

Customer 2: May i order please?

Squidward: Alright what do you want?

• applience noise

Customer 2: I'll Have-

• Jackhammer running

Customer 2: is everything OK back there?

Squidward: Yeah, Just a bit of a... renovation.

• Saw noises gets louder, locker flips.

Squidward *Freaking out*: MY CLARINET! Spongebob!

• Opens locker door and reveals a grand locker room

Squidward: Spongebob?

Squidward: There. 36●8-B

Squidward : *gasps* a note?!

Spongebob: Item has temporarly replaced during reconstruction. Relocated to shelf 1018●2-E.

Squidward: Spongebob!?

Squidward: 1018●2-E

Squidward: Another note!?

Spongebob: OOPS! DID I SAY 1018●2-E? I MEANT 2019●3-F! Sorry!