"Squid Wood" is a SpongeBob SquarePants episode from season four. In this episode, SpongeBob makes a miniature Squidward and everyone likes him better.
SpongeBob repeatedly annoys Squidward by asking him if he wants to play, but every time Squidward says "No!," SpongeBob thinks he wants to play later every time he answers. After SpongeBob asks Squidward to play a numerous number of games with him, Squidward loses his temper and yells at SpongeBob that he will never play with him ever. After throwing him down a hole (which SpongeBob drilled when he was entering the bathroom) and covering it with his fridge, SpongeBob then gets an idea that if he can't play with Squidward, he'll make one of his own.
He runs to his house and creates a wooden, mini version of Squidward, and calls him "Mini Squid." After hearing that Mini Squid will be playing with SpongeBob if Squidward does not want to, Squidward becomes incredibly enlightened.
While SpongeBob and Mini Squid play charades, Patrick walks by and thinks that Mini Squid is Squidward and also thinks he has gotten smaller and shaved his beard, even though Squidward does not have a beard, confusing SpongeBob and Mini Squid.
At the Krusty Krab, Squidward tells a joke to two customers, but they do not laugh because of his mood while telling the joke. As SpongeBob and Mini Squid come in, the two customers start to favor him. Squidward takes a customer's order, but he doesn't like his attitude. Mini Squid takes Squidward's job as cashier and takes the customer's order, and the customer likes his attitude. SpongeBob cooks the patties and Mini Squid delivers them to the customers. He tells Squidward's joke to the customers and they laugh because of his happy mood while telling the joke. Squidward starts to get mad at Mini Squid for stealing his joke. A lady wants to give Mini Squid a $300 tip. Squidward takes his hat and his job back, but Mr. Krabs tells him that he prefers Mini Squid because he is making him plenty of money and changes Squidward's job to the dishwasher.
Soon, Mini Squid starts impressing the customers with some dance moves. Squidward realizes that they are his moves and starts to dance, but the customers are not impressed since Mini Squid is dancing for their pleasure while the real Squidward is trying to hog the spotlight. Mini Squid and the customers soon start dancing like jellyfish. Afterward, Squidward gets mad at Mini Squid for stealing his life and starts squeezing him, bashing him, stomping him, and mauling him. Suddenly, a man tells Squidward to stop mauling the head of his "new client." Squidward realizes the man is a producer that represents his favorite clarinet player. Squidward thinks he was there to sign him up, but the producer takes Mini Squid. He is offering Mini Squid a $1,000,000 contract and a sequined suit. Squidward tries to impress him but fails with the agent essentially telling him that he will never become famous. SpongeBob bids goodbye to his new friend.
Squidward starts to sob because Mini Squid stole his dream, but realizes he will never see him again. SpongeBob then picks up a wooden, mini-version of himself. The two start laughing after each other, much to the dismay of Squidward.
‣ Puka A
|( ‣ ) Associated production music|
|( • ) Original music|
|( ◦ ) SpongeBob music|
- Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [title card]
‣ Aloha Oe - Hans Haider, Queen Lili'uokalani [opening]
‣ Vibe Sting - Nicolas Carr ["Huh?"]
‣ You're Nice - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield ["Morning, Squidward!"]
‣ Four & Three - Harold Geller [Squidward gardening]
‣ Royal Chamber Music - Nicolas Carr ["Ah, the blank canvas."]
‣ Tension Bits - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield ["Hey, Squidward, wanna play?"]
‣ Steel Sting - Jeremy Wakefield [Squidward paints "NO" on the canvas]
‣ Royal Chamber Music - Nicolas Carr [Squidward reading a book]
‣ Tension Bits - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob jumps out of the book]
‣ Vibe Q Sting - Nicolas Carr ["Wha...?"]
‣ Shock Horror (a) - Dick Stephen Walter [Squidward screams]
‣ Comic Walk - Sidney Torch [SpongeBob wants to play games with Squidward]
‣ Unknown Hawaiian Sting (j) - Jeremy Wakefield ["Hello, Squidward."]
‣ The Pollywog Strut - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [Mini Squidward introduced]
‣ Steel Licks (c) - Jeremy Wakefield ["See... 'cause... they're both... Krabby."]
‣ The Rake Hornpipe - Robert Alexander White [SpongeBob enters]
‣ Steel Licks (a) - Jeremy Wakefield ["I'm starting to like this Mini Squidward."]
‣ The Tip Top Polka/The Cliff Polka - Chelmsford Folk Band ["Order up, Mini Squid!"]
‣ Captain Lenoe's - Michael Arthur, Colin Cater, Mick Graves, The Folk Players, Sarah Graves, Simon Ritchie [Squidward growls]
‣ Harp Ding - Nicolas Carr [$300 tip]
‣ Nude Sting - Nicolas Carr ["What?!"]
‣ Keel Row - Brian Peters [Squidward reassigned to busboy]
‣ Barber of Seville - Gioacchino A. Rossini, George Wilson [Mini Squidward dances]
‣ Thieving Magpie Overture - Gioacchino A. Rossini, George Wilson [Mini Squidward dances]
‣ Hawaiian Cocktail - Richard Myhill ["Talk about no talent!"]
‣ Barber of Seville - Gioacchino A. Rossini, George Wilson [more dancing]
‣ Thieving Magpie Overture - Gioacchino A. Rossini, George Wilson [more dancing]
‣ Six Powerful Cues (d) - Wilfred William Burns ["He stole my jokes, he stole my job... He stole my standing ovation!"]
‣ Six Powerful Cues (f) - Wilfred William Burns [Squidward beats up Mini Squidward]
‣ Witty Fellow - Gerhard Trede [Milo J. Finkerfish]
‣ ? - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [Squidward playing clarinet]
‣ Witty Fellow - Gerhard Trede ["Yeah, right, kid."]
‣ Hawaiian Cocktail - Richard Myhill [Squidward cries]
‣ Puka A - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob made Mini SpongeBob]
‣ Lap Steel - Nicolas Carr [ending]
- As of May 3, 2017, The Internet Movie Database (IMDB) gives this episode a rating of 7.3/10 based on 157 ratings by users. TV.com users give this episode a rating of 8.2/10 based on 126 votes.
- This episode aired in Germany on Saturday, December 9, 2006, before it aired in the United States.
- In addition, if English viewers visited the nick.de site before the English version aired, they could have watched the entire episode (although in German) months before the English episode was released. The episode was soon removed from the site.
- This episode was released on the Season 4 Volume 2 DVD box set before it aired on TV in the USA.
- This episode aired in Latin America on Wednesday, March 28, 2007, before it aired in the USA.
- This episode aired in Canada on Wednesday, May 2, 2007, before it aired in the USA.
- Two clips of this episode were shown three weeks before it aired in the USA.
- This was the only season 4 episode that premiered in the NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW Week marathon.
- This episode aired with "The Krusty Sponge" during the original American airing, but has since been re-airing with "The Pink Purloiner."
- This is the last season 4 episode in airing order.
- The German title for this episode is "Mini-Thaddäus." In Greek it is known as "Μίνι-Καλαμάρης." In French it is known as "Mini-Carlo." In Spanish-speaking countries, it is known as "Mini-Calamardo." In the Netherlands, it is called "Mini-Octo." Lastly, in Poland, it is called "Mini-Skalmar," which all mean "Mini-Squidward."
- In this episode, SpongeBob demonstrates his ability to change form. He turns into:
- a piece of paper
- a flower
- a drill
- a phone
- The music that plays as "Mini-Squidward" dances is "The Thieving Magpie" La Gazza Ladra (overture) by Gioachino Rossini.
- To distract the customers from the better talent of Mini Squidward, Squidward walks in a way similar to the Goose-step.
- This is the third episode where a Squidward puppet is seen. The first is "The Paper" and the second is "Wormy."
- In the Croatian dub, the episode's name is "Mini Marko," which translates to "Mini Squidward."
- Mahjong is a tradition Chinese game of tiles.
- Steal the Bacon is a tag-like game where a people from one team has to get the "flag" or "bacon" back to its own team without being tagged.
- "Squid Wood" is a pronunciation parody on Squidward's name, but may also be a reference to the 1994 film Ed Wood.
- This episode is similar to the CatDog episode "Dummy Dummy," in which Dog makes a puppet of Cat when the real Cat refuses to play with him.
- "Sleeping Sea Lions" is a reference to the game Sleeping Lions.
- Duck-Duck Hermit Crab is a reference to the game Duck-Duck Goose.
- "Squidward Says" is a reference to the game Simon Says.
- 12 Angry Jellyfish is a reference to the 1997 film 12 Angry Men.
- When Squidward plays the clarinet to prove he is better than Mini Squid, the melody he plays sounds very similar to the beginning verses of "Bibbidi-Bobiddi-Boo" from the 1950 Disney film Cinderella.
- The Clammy Awards is a parody of the Grammy Awards.
- In an instantaneous moment before the title card starts, the seagulls in the theme song can be heard.
- When SpongeBob appears outside of Squidward's window, there is no shade, but Squidward pulls down a shade in the next scene. When he gets out of the bathtub, it is gone again.
- In one scene, when Patrick sees SpongeBob's puppet, SpongeBob's pineapple is red.
- When Nancy Suzy Fish wants to give Mini Squidward $300, the latter's eyes are white. In the next scene, his eyes are back to yellow again.
- Squidward's bathroom is upstairs, hence the window that SpongeBob peeked in, so it would have been impossible for SpongeBob to drill up to the second floor.
- Sandals asks for eight-dozen Krabby Patties, but only receives six.
- When the two Krabby Patties are on the grill, they already have their buns, condiments, and everything else that goes on a finished hamburger, after it is off of the grill.
- When a close-up of Mini Squidward playing the clarinet is shown, one side of SpongeBob's shirt is yellow instead of white.