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Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Squeaky Boots" from season 1, which aired on September 17, 1999.

  • [The episode begins at Mr. Krabs' house. Mr. Krabs is dancing around and singing a special birthday song for daughter, named Pearl. He dances in front of her friends.]
  • Mr. Krabs: [dancing and singing at Pearl's birthday party] ♪Yar-har, Pearl's my daughter, I'll spit in your eye! Yo-ho, Pearl's a whale, and it's her birthday, yar-yar-yar! Ta-da!♪
  • [A sperm whale and her friends look bored. One of Pearl's friends lies her head on the table, in dissatisfaction.]
  • Pearl Krabs: Thanks for the show, Dad. Now can we open the presents?
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, all right. Presents for me darling little sardine. Here ya are. [places the present in front of Pearl]
  • [Pearl holds the present]
  • Pearl: Oh, you shouldn't have. What is it, Daddy? It wouldn't be those totally hip new flipper slippers all my friends are wearing, would it? Everyone wants them.
  • Mr. Krabs: [feeling embarrassed] Uhh... they might be.
  • Pearl: Whee! [begins to unwrap present] Oh, you shouldn't have, yay, you shouldn't have. [sees the item inside present, suddenly goes from gleeful to annoyed] I mean, Dad, [holds up a pair of big black boots] you really shouldn't have!
  • [Pearl's friends laugh]
  • Mr. Krabs: Pearl, those are the finest fishin' boots available!
  • Pearl: Dad, you ruined me! [starts to cry]
  • Mr. Krabs: But I got them for a bargain!
  • [The anchor house shakes from Pearl's screaming and wailing. Bubble transitions to the Krusty Krab, in Mr. Krabs' office with the boots on his desk. Mr. Krabs feels worried.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, what am I gonna do? I spent two whole dollars on these boots and now I'm stuck with them!
  • SpongeBob: [peeks into Mr. Krabs' office] Oh, uhh, Mr. Krabs, can I get my paycheck?
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBoy, me Bob! Come in. Come in, right this way, laddie! [takes him to his desk] Have a seat anywhere, but not on these beautiful priceless boots.
  • [SpongeBob sits down in the chair, but the boots are in his way, so he can't see Mr. Krabs’ face]
  • Mr. Krabs: So you want to get paid?
  • SpongeBob: Uhh, sir, I can't see you. The boots [leans over to one side and Mr. Krabs leans towards the other] are in [leans over to one side and Mr. Krabs leans towards the other] the way.
  • Mr. Krabs: [pushes the boots aside] In the way? These boots never leave my sight! These are the most expensive and prized possessions I own.
  • SpongeBob: Wow, really? Why is that, they just look like any old ordinary boots.
  • Mr. Krabs: Ordinary boots? These are the only official fry cook boots! Only the finest fry cooks in the world are permitted to wear them! Part of a tradition. And these boots were given to me by the most famous fry cook in the sea.
  • SpongeBob: Who's that?
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, uhh, oh, well, his name's not important, but he was famous, all right, don't you worry.
  • SpongeBob: ♪I'm ready! I'm ready! I want those boots!♪
  • Mr. Krabs: Sorry, son, these boots are far too valuable. [takes boots away]
  • SpongeBob: Hmmm.. I know! What if I give you my Krusty Krab paycheck?
  • Mr. Krabs: [thinking about the sound of money] Paycheck! You got a deal--
  • SpongeBob: And what if I paint the Krusty Krab for free?
  • Mr. Krabs: [thinking about the sound of money again] You've got a deal.
  • SpongeBob: And I'll throw in a year's supply of French fry orders!
  • Mr. Krabs: [thinking about the sound of money yet again] You got a...
  • SpongeBob: And... [Mr. Krabs stops SpongeBob from saying anything else]
  • Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, lad! You're gonna give me a heart attack! Phew! [shakes SpongeBob's hand] You got yourself a deal.
  • [Squidward is drying off a glass, rubbing it with a cloth. He blows the glass for a final shine, and is proud of it. He suddenly hears the sound of squeaking.]
  • Squidward: [scratches head] Hmm...
  • [He then looks through the glass and sees SpongeBob. The scene is now viewed from the perspective of Squidward's eye, though the glass makes things look a bit distorted.]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward.
  • [He then moves the glass down and the perspective looks normal. Squidward now sees SpongeBob dancing around wearing tall shiny black boots, which appear to make him taller.]
  • SpongeBob: Do you like my new boots?
  • [Squidward blankly stares at him, and blinks]
  • SpongeBob: [still dancing] Pretty cool, huh? Now, I'm an official fry cook!
  • [Squidward feels mildly annoyed.]
  • [SpongeBob bounces his head up and down, making the boots squash and stretch while also making them squeak, as Squidward watches. Then SpongeBob bounces harder and faster until Squidward's head is bouncing up and down really hard trying to keep up. Then SpongeBob starts to squeak his boots around the Krusty Krab by jumping, hopping with one boot on his head and his lower half in the other, walking with the boots on his hands, and doing the moonwalk. SpongeBob continues squeaking them offscreen and Squidward gets more annoyed at this.]
  • Squidward: [blocks his ears, makes an annoyed grunt] That squeaking is gonna drive us all crazy!
  • Mr. Krabs: Nonsense, Squidward. That squeaking is money to my ears. I mean, music.
  • [Later that night, Mr. Krabs is going to bed. Mr. Krabs is in his room, lying in his hammock and imagining dollar bills jumping one-by-one into a cash register like counting sheep]
  • Mr. Krabs: [muttering] Arrgh. Money, money, money, money, money. 10, 20, 30, 40... [all of a sudden, the pair of squeaky boots jumps into the register. He opens his eyes] Wha? Who's there? [realizing there was nothing wrong] Heh-heh... [fluffs his pillow]
  • [Mr. Krabs rests his head on his pillow]
  • Mr. Krabs: Back to countin' me money. [closes his eyes again and imagines coins jumping into the register] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... [the boots appear again; Mr. Krabs opens his eyes again] What the barnacle is that? Uh?
  • [He sees that the bedroom window is opening and shutting by itself, making squeaky noises.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Errgh!
  • [Mr. Krabs closes the window and gets back into bed, but notices the window has opened again. He walks back across the room to close it but steps into a hole and falls out the window, breaking the tip of his leg off in the process. He makes utterances of falling. He comes back to run up the stairs, and he enters back to his bedroom. This time, Mr. Krabs watches his step to avoid another hole.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Errgh... ooh? [sees the hole] Careful. [shuts the window, but it won't close.]
  • [He starts shutting it with increasing force and speed until the window finally stays closed, grunting every time he pushes the window.]
  • [The window reopens again, and Mr. Krabs gives it the "evil eye" followed by a growl. The window immediately closes back. Mr. Krabs then starts to go back to bed, and yawns as he walks back toward there, but he steps into the same hole he avoided earlier and gets stuck there.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Huh? [loses balance and breaks the tip of his other leg off]
  • [Mr. Krabs screams as he gets flung into his hammock and gets all twisted up in it. Mr. Krabs can do nothing but lie there with bloodshot eyes as the window makes squeaky noises all night, as if it is clapping at him. Fade to the next morning; Mr. Krabs has his legs bandaged up as he drowsily walks to the Krusty Krab]
  • Mr. Krabs: Arrgh, that was the worst night I ever weathered. At least I'll have some peace and quiet at work.
  • [As he walks up to the door, Squidward slams the doors open into Mr. Krabs' face]
  • Squidward: That's it, Mr. Krabs; I'm taking my vacation now.
  • Mr. Krabs: [muffled] What's wrong, Mr. Squid-ard?
  • Squidward: I can't take [sarcastically] "The world's greatest fry cook" anymore! I'll see you in a week. [leaves the Krusty Krab]
  • Mr. Krabs: [Looks through the door]That fry cook's making me a fortune. What could be the problem? [as he speaks, the camera pans toward SpongeBob]
  • [SpongeBob is shown standing by the register boat, while wearing his boots and is carrying two large plates full of Krabby Patties in each hand.]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-ob. [SpongeBob begins to walk up to Mr. Krabs while his boots make a loud squeak sound with every step, and every time his boots squeak, Mr. Krabs stutters. SpongeBob comes closer to Mr. Krabs, but he is so tall, all Mr. Krabs can see is his boots. By the time he gets to him, the boots get a closeup shot.]
  • Mr. Krabs: I... uhh, I see you're still wearing them boots. [points to the boots]
  • SpongeBob: [raises his right leg] Are you kidding? I love ‘em! [leans towards Mr. Krabs’ face] Could "The world's greatest fry cook" do this? [runs in place super fast with plates of Krabby Patties in each hand, spins around, and then kneels down while the Krabby Patties carefully land perfectly onto the plates. Meanwhile, a customer eating at a table in watching in the back.]
  • Mr. Krabs: [scratches head]Well, I don't... uhh... I don't... uhh...
  • SpongeBob: [standing back up] Or could he do this? [leans over to his right side and sets the plate on the table without having to move his feet from his spot at all] Or this? [leans to the table on his left side and puts a plate of patties on that table, then goes behind the register and stands on top of the boat] And watch this, Mr. Krabs! [moves his feet around slightly, making the boots squeak as if they are "talking"]
  • Squeaky Boots: [squeaking]Can I take your order?
  • Incidental 4: Yeah, I'll have the Krusty Special.
  • Squeaky Boots: [squeaking]Thank you, sir. I will squeak when it's ready.
  • SpongeBob: [puts his hands on his hips] Could "The greatest fry cook" do that, Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: I, uhh...
  • SpongeBob: And look at this, Mr. Krabs. [holds his breath by holding his nose with his left hand, thus making the boots inflate, causing him to float. Then he levitates across the room with his legs stretched far apart horizontally.] And this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this. [SpongeBob zooms all over the Krusty Krab and does many different things with his boots until Mr. Krabs can't take it anymore]
  • Mr. Krabs: [his eyes go bloodshot] [screaming] I gotta go to my office! [puts seat cushions over his ears] I can still hear it! [puts chairs over his ears] It's still coming through! The infernal squeak! [he repeatedly bangs his head on his desk] Those boots have got to go! And I need an aspirin.
  • [that night, at SpongeBob's pineapple...]
  • SpongeBob: [walking to his bed with his boots still on] Gary, these boots have changed my life. I'm never taking them off.
  • Gary: [goes into his shell and comes out with earplugs in] Meow.
  • SpongeBob: [in his bed]Good night, Gary.
  • [SpongeBob pulls the covers over him with his feet sticking out. He then wiggles his feet, making the boots squeak one more time before going to sleep. As SpongeBob is sleeping with his boots on, Mr. Krabs peeks over his diving board and climbs down. He sees the boots, which inflate and deflate with SpongeBob's snoring pattern. Mr. Krabs then takes the boots off his feet and runs to the Krusty Krab, laughing quietly as he runs back. Some hammering sounds are heard, then a rooster crows as night fades to morning. Mr. Krabs now sniffs his money.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Ah, quiet money. [satisfyingly sniffing a handful of money] Silence and money.
  • [SpongeBob suddenly bursts through the double doors, tearfully]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: What is it, my boy?
  • SpongeBob: [crying, while looking at the ground] Oh, Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I'm sorry!
  • Mr. Krabs: It's okay, son.
  • SpongeBob: [cries harder and looks up at his boss with tears streaming down his face] No, it's not okay! I lost the boots! Your valuable boots, it's my fault, I let you down! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Ohh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
  • Mr. Krabs: Hold it, boy! It's not the end of the world.
  • SpongeBob: Yes, it is!
  • Mr. Krabs: Look, don't cry. I got some, uhh, some magic oven mitts! [holds up some oven mitts]
  • SpongeBob: [puts them on his feet, waits a second, then kicks them off] They're not the same! You were right. I wasn't ready for those blessed boots. [walks into the door, opens it, then goes into the kitchen]
  • Mr. Krabs: Poor lad. [looks through the window and sees that SpongeBob is so upset, he has his head down... right on top of the hot grill]
  • Incidental 6: [taps Mr. Krabs twice on the shoulder, as if feeling concerned if Mr. Krabs upset SpongeBob] Excuse me?
  • Mr. Krabs: [startled] I didn't do it! [sees Incidental 6] Ohh, heh-heh, can I help ya?
  • Incidental 6: Yeah, I'm ready to order.
  • Mr. Krabs: [takes out a notepad] What'll ya have?
  • Incidental 6: I'll take a [squeak squeak].
  • Mr. Krabs: [becomes surprised] What did you say?
  • Incidental 6: I said, I'll take a [squeak].
  • Mr. Krabs: Huh?
  • SpongeBob: [still in tears] I heard his order, Mr. Krabs. He says he wants [squeak squeak].
  • Mr. Krabs: What?
  • Incidental 6: And a [squeak squeak squeak squeak].
  • Mr. Krabs: Huh?!
  • [Mr. Krabs starts going insane, imagining everything and everyone squeaking]
  • Mr. Krabs: Huh? [more squeaking] What? [yet more squeaking] Huh?
  • [He sees "squeak" as an item for everything. He looks at a clock with labels "squeak" and "squeak" and continuously ticks.]
  • Mr. Krabs: [scared] What the-!?
  • [Mr. Krabs keeps thinking and hearing the squeaks, this time seeing an distorted menu with items that only read "squeak" multiple times. His eyes now start becoming red, visibly showing red vessels.]
  • Mr. Krabs: I didn't write that! [utters a scared sound, continues seeing the distorted menu]
  • [Mr. Krabs recalls the squeaking from SpongeBob and Incidental 6]
  • Mr. Krabs: Who said that? Wha...?!
  • [Mr. Krabs continues to see distorted memories that keep squeaking. The entire screen gets bleached out, as if to depict extreme insanity. He gets paranoia from a dripping kitchen sink.]
  • Mr. Krabs: [scared] What?!
  • [He even imagines the dripping kitchen sink makes squeaking sounds instead of dripping sounds.]
  • [Mr. Krabs continues to see distorted memories that keep squeaking. Eventually he starts seeing visions of SpongeBob and his boots.]
  • SpongeBob: [in Mr. Krabs' head] Could "The world's greatest fry cook" do this?... And this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this...
  • [Mr. Krabs' eye starts swirling as he imagines him speaking, engulfing his own sight with a blur of items orbiting inside his view.]
  • Mr. Krabs: [snaps] STOP IT! [two customers get startled by Mr. Krabs' scream] STOP IT!! [his eyes start contorting] Oh! Oh! Don't you hear it?!
  • [A few other customers in the corner had also witnessed the scene. They look at Mr. Krabs like he's crazy, while one of them blinks. Mr. Krabs appears mentally insane.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Yes, I did it! I did it! I took the boots! They're here! Under the floorboard! [sobbing] Oh, please! Make it stop! It's the squeaking of the hideous boots! [throws himself onto the floor and bawls] I'm sorry! [lifts up the entire Krusty Krab and grabs the boots, with everyone screaming inside.] But I can't take the infernal squeakin' no more! [sees the ghastly boots, clenches his eyes that his pupils form an X, and lets go of the entire Krusty Krab.
  • [Mr. Krabs runs into the kitchen with an evil expression on his face and puts the boots into a vat of grease, which shrinks them, and he eats them. After that, he opens the door to the dining room, and finally lets out a long burp.]
  • Mr. Krabs: The deed is done.
  • SpongeBob: [confused] Umm, why did you eat my boots, Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: Because, lad, you didn't need 'em. It's not the boots, it's the boot-ee. I mean, uh, the person... in the boots. You're a great fry cook.
  • SpongeBob: You really think so, Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: I do, son. [hands SpongeBob a stack of money] Here's the paycheck I owe you. [puts another stack of money on top of the first stack] Plus a bonus! [takes the second stack of money] Well, here's your paycheck anyway. [walks away, speaking to himself] I need a vacation.
  • SpongeBob: [waving] Bye, Mr. Krabs!
  • [Fade to Mr. Krabs and Pearl taking a drive out to somewhere, with a campervan behind their boat]
  • Mr. Krabs: Ah, a long week away from Bikini Bottom is exactly what I need, just me and my darling daughter Pearl.
  • Pearl: [lifts her feet over the side of the door to reveal her new shoes] Don't forget my new flipper slippers, Daddy!
  • Mr. Krabs: Darling, I won't. [as he laughs, he hiccups and the squeaky noise comes out] Oh, no. [continues to hiccup and squeak as they drive off into the distance and the episode ends]
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