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SpongeBob's Place
Season №: 10
Episode №: 209a
Airdate: March 11, 2017
Previous: "Krusty Katering"
Next: "Plankton Gets the Boot"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "SpongeBob's Place" from season ten, which aired on March 11, 2017.

  • [The episode begins at another day at the Krusty Krab. Fred and Abigail happily eat Krabby Patties. A fish happily eats Krabby Patties while the other licks his fin repeatedly. Fish who finished Krabby Patty shows a human hand with ketchup and sauce on his fingers. He starts licking until the other fish grabs his hand by his tongue to lick off those bits. The other fish is sad. Nat smells the nice smell of Krabby Patties. He rolls onto his plate of Krabby Patties and eats one from the plate.]
  • French Artist: [to Mr. Krabs] Excuse me! Who, may I ask, cooked this patty?
  • Customers: SpongeBob SquarePants!
  • [SpongeBob shows up.]
  • SpongeBob: Did somebody call my name?
  • Mr. Krabs: [attempts to cover SpongeBob] Is there something wrong with your sandwich, sir?
  • French Artist: Yes! I feel like I could die!
  • [Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob gasps.]
  • French Artist: And go to heaven!
  • [SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs sigh. The French artists kneels and kisses SpongeBob's shoes.]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, please, sir. Don't. Stop. You really can stop, sir.
  • Mr. Krabs: [chuckles] Everyone seems to really like the Krabby Patty!
  • Squidward: [appearing smug] Some people started calling it the "SpongeBob Patty!"
  • Mr. Krabs: What? That's ridiculous. It's always been the Krabby Patty. [slaps Squidward with his left eye]
  • Girl: One SpongeBob Patty, please!
  • Mr. Krabs: Huh?
  • Squidward: Maybe you should change the name of this place from the Krusty Krab to "SpongeBob's Place!"
  • Mr. Krabs: [tenses up real violently, to the extent that his eyeballs explode]
  • Squidward: [laughs at Mr. Krabs]
  • Customer #3: Hey, that's a great idea! [jumps onto the table] SpongeBob's Place! SpongeBob's Place!
  • Customers: [All cheering] SpongeBob's Place! SpongeBob's Place! SpongeBob's Place!
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! [takes SpongeBob away] Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab!
  • [The customers get bored and Mr. Krabs appears sad. SpongeBob lifts Mr. Krabs' claw.]
  • SpongeBob: Come on, guys! Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab!
  • Customers: [All cheering] SpongeBob's Place! SpongeBob's Place! [takes SpongeBob away]
  • SpongeBob: Help!
  • Customers: [All cheering] SpongeBob's Place!
  • Squidward: [to Mr. Krabs] Admit it. Without SpongeBob, you'd be nothing!
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, that's not true! I'm the one who made the SpongeBob Pat—I mean the Krabby Patty!
  • Customers: [taking SpongeBob on a fancy chair, singing in the tune of "Mary Had a Little Lamb"] ♪Let's all go to SpongeBob's Place, SpongeBob's Place, SpongeBob's Place!♪
  • [Mr. Krabs shown as old, appears intensely angry, showing a pupil shaped like Mr. Krabs pushing a pupil shaped like SpongeBob.]
  • SpongeBob: [walks out of the kitchen door] All right, Mr. Krabs. If you think the Krusty Krab is haunted and needs ghost-busting, I'll stay away for a while. [gives Krusty Krab Employee Hat to Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs grins.]
  • Squidward: Haunted, eh?
  • Mr. Krabs: Don't you believe in ghosts?
  • Squidward: Oh, admit it! You're jealous of SpongeBob!
  • Mr. Krabs: Of course not! But I'll be cooking the Krabby Patties from now on! Krabby Patties – named after me! Mr. Krabby. [puts on Krusty Krab employee hat on one of his eyes. Squidward gives his Krusty Krab Employee Hat to Mr. Krabs and he puts it on once again. Mr. Krabs runs off and accidentally crashes into a barrel.] Ouch!
  • SpongeBob: [At SpongeBob's house. Sighs.] What do we do now, Gary? We read every book and played every game! Hey, I know! How about another makeover?
  • Gary: [Gary dressed as a female model. He growls at him.]
  • SpongeBob: You know, I can't go to the Krusty Krab. But I can play Krusty Krab! [grabs Gary] Oh! This could be the register boat! [Turns his one-seater lying down] And you can be Squidward! [Re-shapes Gary to appear like Squidward]
  • Gary: [Talking like Squidward] Meow...
  • SpongeBob: What's that, Squidward? 30 Krabby Patties? Coming right up! [Rushes to his kitchen and gives Gary a Krusty Krab Employee Hat]
  • Gary: [Talking like Squidward] Meow, meow.
  • [SpongeBob prepares the cooking of Krabby Patties at his house. He also prepared the buns and putting the patties in the buns. He spins the plate and magically appears cheese and lettuce.]
  • SpongeBob: Okay, everybody, order up! [Notices no one is in his house] Guess I'm used to making Krabby Patties in mass quantities. [Places the plate of homemade Krabby Patties on the windowsill. Sighs.]
  • [The smell of the Krabby Patties draws everyone towards them. Door bell rings, SpongeBob opens the door and the customers walk in, one of them licking the plate.]
  • Customer #4: How's about making some more of those delicious patties? [licks the last crumbs]
  • Octopus customer: I drew two more mouths on my face so I could take three at a time! [Eats a Krabby Patty and attempts to shove the other two into his drawn mouths]
  • SpongeBob: Okay, you guys. Just make yourself comfortable. More patties on the way!
  • [Krusty Krab shown with lots of black smoke coming out of the chimney. Shows Krabby Patties bursting to flames.]
  • Mr. Krabs: [Extinguishes the flame immediately] Whoa!
  • Squidward: [Dings on the attention bell multiple times. Squidward shows a plate of Nasty Patties, like those of episode "Nasty Patty"] These are being sent back!
  • [Mr. Krabs accidentally extinguishes Squidward. Squidward shakes off the foam, while Mr. Krabs blows off the foam from the Krabby Patties.]
  • Mr. Krabs: What? What's wrong with them?
  • Squidward: Customers said to make them good like they used to be.
  • Mr. Krabs: Like they used to be? It's the same formula!
  • Customer #5: Hey! I see the problem! SpongeBob's not in the kitchen!
  • [Everyone spits out their Krabby Patties, revealed to look like Nasty Patties.]
  • Customers: [mumbling] I don't think so. I don't know why but it's bad. Let me of this place.
  • Mr. Krabs: [gasps] Wait, wait! Please don't go! We're, we're having a two-for-one sale! For every two you buy, you can buy another one! [embarrassingly laughs. Suddenly has an idea.] Oh! Hold on, everybody! [Shows Mr. Krabs with a human ear] I think I hear SpongeBob's hideous laughter coming from the kitchen! [Rushes back to the kitchen] I'll show you that the customers are always wrong!
  • Squidward: Oh boy... Huh?
  • Mr. Krabs: [Wears a box shaped and designed like SpongeBob] Now go ahead! Call attention to me!
  • Squidward: [sarcastically] Hey, everybody! Look who's back in the kitchen!
  • [Everybody rushes to the kitchen only to find a poor disguise of SpongeBob by Mr. Krabs]
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm ready! I'm ready!
  • Customer #5: That's SpongeBob? Man, did he left himself go!
  • Customer #2: Who cares? I'll take a Krabby Patty!
  • Customers: I'll order some too! Make mine a triple! Yeah! My appetite's back!
  • [Cut to scene where everyone is not liking the crudely prepared Krabby Patties.]
  • Mr. Krabs: [Trying to talk like SpongeBob] Is everybody enjoying their Krabby Patties? [mimics SpongeBob's laughter]
  • [Customers temporarily raises their thumb up, but soon stare at the Krabby Patties. Every customer pretends to like the Krabby Patty.]
  • Abigail: [lisping] Yes, it's very nice!
  • Mr. Krabs: Ha-ha! [Takes of Spongebob disguise] It was me who cooked those patties! You're all enjoying my food!
  • [Everyone spits out their Krabby Patties]
  • Anchovy: I thought something was off!
  • [Everyone walks off. Mr. Krabs rushes to the exit.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, no, you don't!
  • [Mr. Krabs smashes through the roof to escape outside the Krusty Krab. He comes back with a bulldozer and digs a circular trench around the Krusty Krab. He comes back with a cement mixer with words "MOLTEN LAVA" on it, and pours lava into the trench. Comes back through the roof.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Anyone who wants to leave has to go through me first!
  • [Everyone stretches Mr. Krabs into a bridge. Everyone leaves, including Squidward.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Ahh! Ow! Eee! Hey! Oh! Whoa! Ah! Blazes!
  • Squidward: G'night, boss! See you in the morning! [Mr. Krabs knocks against the glass of the door with eyes shaped like fists]
  • Mr. Krabs: Ow! Eee! Hey!
  • [The scene changes to Squidward walking home until he notices that everyone is lining up inside SpongeBob's house, which is now named, "SpongeBob's Place."]
  • Squidward: "SpongeBob's Place?" What in the ocean? [squeezes though some people] Pardon me. Don't mind me! opens his front door] Just trying to get in my own front door! [enters his house]
  • [Squidward takes his phone and calls the Health Inspector.]
  • Phone Operator: You've reached the Health Department. If you'd like to leave a message, wait for the cough.
  • [A person coughs through Squidward's phone.]
  • Squidward: Everybody's a comedian. This is Squidward Tentacles, and I'd like to lodge a complaint about my neighbor SpongeBob.
  • [The scene changes to an ambulance taking a very burnt Mr. Krabs to the hospital.]
  • Paremedic: That should do it, Mr. Krabs. You'll be good as new in no time.
  • Mr. Krabs: Wasting your time, boys. You should just take me straight to the morgue. I'm done.
  • [Suddenly, Mr. Krabs hears some chattering outside the ambulance window.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Stop! Stop here!
  • [Mr. Krabs peeks out the window and sees a line of customers lining up at SpongeBob's Place. A couple is having a picnic while Bubble Bass walks by with a plateful of patties. At the drive thru, Fred gets his order through SpongeBob's window. Mr. Krabs hops out of the ambulance, blows air in his body to straighten himself up, and squeezes through the line.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Make a hole!
  • [Mr. Krabs enters SpongeBob's Place and walks by several customers including Larry the Lobster. Before he enters the kitchen, Gary comes out with a plateful of patties.]
  • Gary: [Talking like Squidward] Meow, meow, meow, meow.
  • [Mr. Krabs enters SpongeBob's kitchen where he finds SpongeBob cooking patties on the stove.]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, hello, Mr. Krabs. Place your order with Gary, please. And drop your money anywhere. I'm running out of places to put it. I really don't have time to count it.
  • [Mr. Krabs opens the fridge and sees money in it. He is shocked. Then he goes to SpongeBob's room and sees money everywhere . He goes to his bathroom and sees money in the toilet.]
  • SpongeBob: [puts salt on the patty] Here, try one.
  • Mr. Krabs: [sadly takes a bite of the patty] Oh, it's delicious.
  • SpongeBob: Sorry, I ran out of napkins. You'll have to use a $100 bill. [gives Mr. Krabs a $100 bill]
  • Mr. Krabs: [depressed] You deserve your own place. [blows his nose through the dollar and stuffs it in his pocket]
  • [Mr. Krabs sulks out of SpongeBob's Place.]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, don't go! I need you!
  • Mr. Krabs: Ah, what do you need me for? You got everything: a magic touch for cooking, lots of customers, money!
  • SpongeBob: I could use a boss. Someone to take all the credit and all the money.
  • Mr. Krabs: Huh? Hmmm. Well, I suppose I could do some bossing. How's a 99% for me and 1% for you?
  • SpongeBob: Oh, that's more than generous!
  • French Narrator: The next morning...
  • [Squidward walks up to the Krusty Krab, sighs as he cuts the caution tape, and enters the restaurant. He turns on the lights and sees the place a complete mess.]
  • Squidward: Oh, no people are ever coming back here. Hey... no people. That's great! Because... I hate people! [laughs as he grabs a microphone and starts singing] ♪I hate people! People hate me! I prefer my own best company! Single and secluded on my own! I can have the best of times all alone because I hate people!♪
  • [Meanwhile at SpongeBob's Place, customers are still lining up. Mr. Krabs is sleeping on a chair that's made from money. Gary slithers by just as two health inspectors walk in.]
  • Andy Yellowtail: Ahem.
  • Mr. Krabs: [wakes up] Huh?
  • Andy Yellowtail: Are you the owner of this food establishment?
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, I do own 99% of SpongeBob's Place so I guess that's a yes. But you'll have to stand in line if you want to place an order!
  • Andy Yellowtail: Yeah, well, I have an order for you. [holds out paper] An order to shut down your restaurant. It's against city health codes to sell food in a pineapple.
  • Carl: [munches on patty] Say, Andy, you gotta try these patties. They're delicious.
  • Andy Yellowtail: [smacks patty out of Carl's hand] Carl, you're eating contraband.
  • Carl: You're not the boss of me.
  • Andy Yellowtail: Uh, yeah! I totally am the boss of you!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, what's going on?
  • Mr. Krabs: We've been shut down.
  • SpongeBob: Well, it was bun while it lasted! [laughs as he bumps Gary back to his normal face]
  • Gary: Meow!
  • Mr. Krabs: You know, I know of an empty restaurant that's got all its papers in order. We can move in right away.
  • SpongeBob: Did you get rid of the ghost?
  • Mr. Krabs: Yeah, the ghost is gone.
  • [The scene changes to Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob and the customers walking back to the Krusty Krab. They find the doors open and hear Squidward singing inside.]
  • Squidward: ♪I hate people! I'm still that way! La, la, la, la, la, la, hey, hey, hey!♪
  • SpongeBob: Sounds like it's still haunted.
  • [Mr. Krabs is suspicious and opens the doors. When he and SpongeBob peek in, they see Squidward mockingly dancing and singing on the tables.]
  • Squidward: ♪I hate SpongeBob! I hate Krabs! I wish they would leave the ocean in taxi cabs! And all the customers can kiss my abs! 'Cause I'm the one and only—♪
  • Mr. Krabs: [turns on the lights] Mr. Squidward!
  • Squidward: [gulps] And...uh...oh...
  • [Squidward turns and sees the customers, SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs, who is staring angrily at him. The customers laugh at Squidward just as he nervously shrivels down and pops. The scene changes to SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs walking out of the restaurant.]
  • Mr. Krabs: You know, I've been doing some thinking. You're a big part of this place, boy-o, and I believe I should share the name with you. [turns SpongeBob to the sign] Take a gander.
  • SpongeBob: I don't get it, Mr. Krabs. It looks the same.
  • Mr. Krabs: [pushes SpongeBob] Well, climb up there! Get a closer look.
  • [SpongeBob climbs to the top of the sign.]
  • SpongeBob: Where?
  • Mr. Krabs: Under the words, "Krusty Krab!"
  • SpongeBob: [reading] "The Krusty Krab..." [gasps and sees a tiny note] And SpongeBob's Place." Oh, Mr. Krabs, you're the best! [jumps off the sign] Whoo!
  • [SpongeBob falls on top of Mr. Krabs.]

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