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Sb45 "Spon... Spo... Spo...!"

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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "SpongeBob's Last Stand" from season seven, which aired on April 22, 2010.
  • [Episode starts in Jellyfish Fields, with a clam on top of the sign. He then gets out a breath spray. As soon as the sun rises, he coughs, instead on crowing. We now see SpongeBob and Patrick waiting at the main entrance.]
  • SpongeBob: [looking at watch] Just two more minutes, Patrick.
  • Patrick: [looking at watch, although he doesn't have one] Yup!
  • SpongeBob: Look! Here he comes! [The jellyfishing ranger passes them]
  • Patrick: Who?
  • [The jellyfishing ranger man switches the "closed" sign to "open." He looks at SpongeBob and Patrick]
  • SpongeBob: Thank you, Mr. Ranger.
  • Patrick: Yeah, thanks. [both breathing]
  • Ranger: Yes?
  • SpongeBob: Aren't you forgetting something?
  • Patrick: Yeah, something.
  • Ranger: [grabs eyeballs and lets go of them] Please show me your-- [SpongeBob and Patrick show him their jellyfishing licenses] jellyfishing licenses.
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick cheer and go in, ignoring the "Open/Closed" sign they knocked over]
  • SpongeBob: [catches a three-spot jellyfish] Patrick, look! I caught a rare breed a glowing three-spot.
  • Patrick: Hey, I caught one, too! This one's a five-spot. [although it is a one-spot]
  • SpongeBob: [sniffles] Patrick, guess what?
  • Patrick: You like it here so much, you feel yourself being moved to a song?
  • SpongeBob: Yes, yes, how did you guess?
  • Patrick: Well, I kinda feel the movement coming on myself.
  • SpongeBob: Let's just start with the song.
  • Patrick: You mean "The Jellyfishing Song"?
  • SpongeBob: That's the one.
  • [both breathe in deeply, throw off their goggles and nets, and then start to sing in silly fashion]
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: ♪Jelly lelly lelly lelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, it's the jellyfishing song!♪ [jellyfish claps]♪Jelly lelly lelly lelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, everybody sing along!♪ [jellyfish claps. Patrick picks up SpongeBob, starts spinning him around, & throws him through the air; next scene shows SpongeBob and Patrick hanging onto a jellyfish's tentacles, while still singing the Jellyfishing Song'. they are singing on a desert island, surrounded by jellyfish clapping in rhythm, in calypso]♪I go jellyfishing in da' morn'in,♪
  • Patrick: [singing in calypso]♪I jellyfish all da' night!♪
  • SpongeBob: [singing in calypso]♪I jellyfish all da' afternoon,♪
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: [singing in calypso]♪Jellyfishing make me feel all right!♪
  • [next shows them running through Jellyfish Fields, singing the Jellyfishing Song]
  • Coral: [sings in deep opera voice]♪Everybody singgggggggggggggggg♪ [A jellyfish performs a drumroll and Patrick and SpongeBob rise out of his mouth]
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: ♪Everybody sing along!♪ [jellyfish beats on drum]
  • SpongeBob: Isn't it great that these majestic creatures have Jellyfish Fields to call their home?
  • Patrick: You bet! And it's highway convenient, too, according to that big sign!
  • SpongeBob: [turns around and jumps when sees big billboard for Shelly Super Highway] Big sign? I didn't see a big sig-Jumping Jellyfish! That's a big sign!
  • Patrick: [reading board] It says, "Future site of the Shelly Super Highway."
  • SpongeBob: [horrified] Super highway!? Do you know what this means?!
  • Patrick: Well, it’s sorta like other roads, except there's no sto-
  • SpongeBob: I know what a superhighway is! I mean for all this jellyfish! For us! For Jellyfish Fiel-[is pulling on Patrick's skin, and accidentally rips off two pieces]-ds, uh, sorry.[sticks the pieces back on]
  • Patrick: So what you're saying is, that if they go though with their plans, to build this new superhighway through Jellyfish Fields, that every single species of flora & fauna that makes this place their habitat will be forced out of the ecosystem that they have formed, effectively being destroyed?
  • SpongeBob: Well, yeah, that's a simplified version, but yeah, something like that, [angrily takes off goggles] which is why I hereby make this solemn vow to stop this so-called, "Shelly Super Highway," from ever being built!
  • [Scene now takes place in Goo Lagoon, with Larry the Lobster lifting on a barbell.]
  • Larry: 1,397, 1,398-- [SpongeBob appears on one of the weight plates of the barbell] Whoa!
  • SpongeBob: Larry, you gotta help me stop the highway!
  • Larry: Can't right now, bro. I got about 4,098 more reps to do. [SpongeBob slides out of the barbell, causing the other weight plate to lose Larry's balance.. Another scene takes place outside Shady Shoals, with Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy sitting on a bench]
  • SpongeBob: Mermaid Man! Barnacle Boy! Certainly with superpowers like yours, we can stop this superhighway! [Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy still in silence. APATHY! appears, then switches back to the scene] Hmmm.
  • [scene now outside Squidward's house]
  • Squidward: I'm sorry, SpongeBob. I actually would like to help, but I'm just too busy right now.
  • SpongeBob: Too busy doing what?
  • Squidward: I'm too busy telling you, "No!" [slams door, with SpongeBob all in pieces.. scene in the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs is seen cleaning the tables, while whistling. He then notices SpongeBob]
  • Mr. Krabs: Private SpongeBob! Ahoy!
  • SpongeBob: [depressed] Captain Mr. Krabs, ahoy.
  • Mr. Krabs: Why, SpongeBob, that's not your usual four-fingered salute.
  • SpongeBob: Well, I guess I'm just upset because they're building a highway over Jellyfish Fields. [sniffles]
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, SpongeBob, I'd sure hate me customers to see you like this. Is there anything I can do to help?
  • SpongeBob: Really, Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: Sure, why not?
  • SpongeBob: Oh, Mr. Krabs! I just know that together, we can stop that nasty old highway from going right through Jellyfish Fields!
  • Mr. Krabs: [puzzled] Uh, you're not talking about the Shelly Superhighway, are ya?
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, why?
  • Mr. Krabs: Uh, well, 'cause I'm actually in favor of that highway being built.
  • SpongeBob: [gibberish, possibly trying to say "no", while pulling on his eyeballs]
  • Mr. Krabs: [smiling, walks over to a poster with charts and maps on it] Yes! I've already calculated how many new customers I'll get once it's finished. You can see fo yourself in this series of these charts and diagrams I have displayed!
  • SpongeBob: [sniffles, brushes away a tear] Charts and dia-[eyes widen, horrified] Mr. Krabs! Didn't you see!? [folds out the rest of the diagram map] After the Shelly Superhighway goes right through Jellyfish Fields, it goes right over the Krusty Krab! Gee, there you are, decrepit and living in a cardboard box! Then, it does a loop-de-loop for some reason, and goes right through the front door of the Chum Bucket!
  • Mr. Krabs: [horrified, then furious] What!? Who approved this plan!?
  • SpongeBob: [starts to read off the map, while Mr. Krab's eyes widen] "Plan approved by & sponsored by Sheldon J. Plankton Enterprises, a division of No Fun Incorporated!"
  • Mr. Krabs: [angrily punches his claws together] C'mon, boy! Let's you and I go over and show that Plankton a piece of our minds!
  • SpongeBob: [smiling, rips off a corner of his head and hands it to Mr. Krabs] Think this piece will get the point across?
  • [cut to them walking over to the Chum Bucket]
  • Mr. Krabs: [yells] Alright, Plankton! It's Eugene Krabs, here, with, What's-His-Name! Now c'mon out!
  • Plankton: I can't.
  • Mr. Krabs: C'mon outside, and take what's coming to ya!
  • Plankton: I really can't come outside!
  • SpongeBob: Why not!?
  • Plankton: [shows him literally right in front of them, and yells angrily] Because I'm already outside, you bumbling barnacles! Open your eyes, for cryin' out loud!
  • [Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob look down and see Plankton]
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, sorry.
  • Plankton: Now what's this all about, anyway?
  • Mr. Krabs: Don't play coy with us, Shelly. We both know you've been up to no good. Now start talking.
  • Plankton: All right, so I've been stealing your mail for the past five years, big whoop.
  • SpongeBob: Not that!
  • Mr. Krabs: What? You've been what?
  • SpongeBob: We're talking about that new superhighway you're planning on building, and in case you didn't know, it's gonna destroy Jellyfish Fields. Not to mention that your plan is stupid and dumb and dumb and stupid.
  • Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute. You've been what?
  • Plankton: Well, that certainly was an interesting series of words that just tumbled out past your teeth and lips, but frankly, my dear sponge, I don't give a barnacle.
  • SpongeBob: Huh?
  • Mr. Krabs: I don't know.
  • Plankton: Forget it. Even if I wanted to the Shelly Superhighway from being built, it would be impossible.
  • SpongeBob: Why?
  • Plankton: Because the whole city has already approved it! See for yourself, through this conveniently-timed flashback.
  • [the scene now takes place in the Bikini Bottom Town Hall & Fun Center, where the voting for the superhighway is held]
  • Mayor: Order. Order. Order in the Meeting Hall. [pounding gavel on one of the guard's heads. Guard puts his hat back on his head when mayor stops] Now all those in favor of paving over Jellyfish Fields and building the Shelly Superhighway, raise your right fin and say "aye."
  • Everyone: Aye!
  • Fish 1: I like highways.
  • Fish 2: I like things that are super.
  • Mr. Krabs: And I like saying, "aye."
  • [scene is back at the Chum Bucket]
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, why did I say "aye"?
  • Plankton: Seems as though the ayes have it. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got superhighway preparations to be attending to. Toodles!
  • [SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs now walk towards the Krusty Krab]
  • SpongeBob: What are we gonna do now, Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, I'm gonna do the only thing I can do when me character is tested by insurmountable odds: lie on me back and sob loudly.
  • SpongeBob: Normally, Mr. Krabs, I would lie on my back and sob loudly too, but I am not giving up! There's still one citizen in Bikini Bottom who won't sit still in the face on this outrageous injustice!
  • [bubble transition to the song Give Jellyfish Fields A Chance, with SpongeBob and Patrick handing out fliers on Jellyfish Fields to two fish, but they just throw them away]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [singing while showing several different cards that look like their descriptions] ♪Chum Bucket, sludge bucket, highway fly away! Lilly liver, pizza giver, mashed potato, kelp tomato!♪ [next scene shows them protesting in a circle, and to be revealed they're on a car, which speeds up, making them fall off]♪All we are trying to say, is give Jellyfish Fields a chance!♪ [they each then put, "Save Jellyfish Fields" pins on their shirts or skin, and start singing with their cards again like earlier] ♪Ketchup bottle, net and goggle, tollbooth, rotten tooth, freeway plan, toast and jam, Mermaid Man, a garbage can! Citrus fruit, combat boot, give a hoot, gorilla suit!♪ [next scene shows them making a poster on the Pineapple that says, "Buzz-In Tonight" to Squidward, who walks to his house] ♪All we are trying to say is give Jellyfish Fields a chance!♪ [next scene shows them pointing at, doing, associated with, or showing what they're singing as they run through town] ♪Plankton's eye, ham on rye! Larry's thigh, battle cry! ketchup squirt, long-sleeved shirt! Self assert,♪ [duck from a flying boot] ♪Hit the Dirt! Krusty Krab, smash and grab!♪ [Mr. Krabs squishes Plankton with a hammer to reclaim his secret formula] ♪Barg 'N' Mart! Grocery cart!♪ [SpongeBob comes out of Barg 'N' Mart with Patrick riding inside of a grocery cart.] [SpongeBob offers a “Save Jellyfish Fields” t-shirt to Taylor, but he shows he has a “Shelly Superhighway is Super” t-shirt. SpongeBob then forcefully takes the “Save Jellyfish Fields” t-shirt out of his hands] ♪All we are trying to say, is give Jellyfish fields a chance!♪ [next scene shows SpongeBob and Patrick passing Save Jellyfish Fields stickers on buildings, but Patrick accidentally puts one on a tough guy's back, and then runs away. SpongeBob turns around just as the tough guy turns around and pushes him into the ground; the town pointing process than starts again] ♪C.E.O's! Gary's toes! Squidward's nose! Pantyhose! Rocking chair, wash and wear! Empty stare, Patrick's hair! Green trees, Sandy's fleas! Rise and shine, lemon lime! Out of time, squiggly line!♪ [shows SpongeBob and Patrick as silhouettes behind a sunrise] ♪Take a stand, hand in hand. All we are trying to say, is give Jellyfish Fields,♪ [shows them dressed in hippie outfits and with a sitar and a tambourine] ♪a chance.♪ [song ends as an angry mob throws trash at them] It's working, Patrick! They're booing the highway! Looks like our message has really gotten through to the people! Let's play a song while their hearts are open! [a sheet of paper flies in his face] Hey, wait a minute. This is one of our fliers! They're pelting us with our own pamphlets! [to Patrick] What does this mean!
  • Patrick: I, couldn't tell you.
  • Nat: I'll tell you what it means! It means this! [grabs the tambourine and stomps on it]
  • SpongeBob: [confused] It means, you hate tambourines?
  • Fish: No! It means-[is interrupted by police who come up in their car]
  • Police Fish #1: Alright, you guys the highway haters?
  • SpongeBob: Yes, sir, but with good reason. You see, without Jellyfish Fields, jellyfish will have to find a new home and-' '[he and Patrick are put in handcuffs]
  • Police Fish #2: Alright, you two. You're under arrest!
  • SpongeBob: What for?
  • Police Fish #1: Unlicensed use of a sitar!
  • SpongeBob: [confused] But, my grandma gave me this sitar! It didn't come with a license.
  • Police Fish #2: [raises baton] Yeah, well, neither did this! [SpongeBob and Patrick are dragged away by police while crowd behind them yells, "Highway! Highway!" [cut to the police car getting driven out of town]
  • Patrick: [points to the left] There's one going by right there. [shows two fish with a banner saying "Shelly Super Highway"; followed by a marching band; followed by a float and the circus; followed by Santa on a tropical island on a limo; followed by a herd of senior citizens being whipped at by the two wrestlers from Krusty Krushers; followed by a group of Scottish fish playing bagpipes; followed by some clown fish and a cat parade balloon; followed by a choir; and finally followed by a heavy metal rock band.