Squidward attempts to make a self-portrait when he is interrupted by a song that SpongeBob is singing about how he has an "attitude of gratitude." After Squidward tells SpongeBob to stop, he slips on some spilled paintbrushes, falls down the stairs and through the floor, breaks a plumage pipe, resulting in spewing water. When SpongeBob offers to help, Squidward denies that he needs help and tells SpongeBob not to help him ever again. He tightens the pipe so much that the water can't get through. Squidward then walks off grumpily as he's late for work.
At the Krusty Krab, Squidward says "Pardon me!" to a purple fish while entering, then walks to the counter and tells SpongeBob to stop staring at him. He then says he doesn't have time to count them when a fish tries to buy a Krabby Patty for $3 with a huge pile of pennies, comments at a blue fish eating a Krabby Patty tapping his foot on the floor, gets mad with Nat Peterson for holding the door, thinks people are leaving "trash" on the table, insults a frail woman's clattering dentures, and a red fish's tall hat. He even scolds a blue fish for taking too long to eat and another for taking too long in the bathroom. When SpongeBob passes by still singing about his attitude of gratitude, Squidward scolds him to stop. SpongeBob asks whether he has an "attitude of gratitude," but Squidward says that he is the most miserable person in Bikini Bottom and doubts it can get worse. Immediately afterwards, a previously dormant volcano erupts. Everybody in the Krusty Krab evacuates because it is falling to pieces. Mr. Krabs sees no point in trying to run away and demands Squidward's and SpongeBob's life essence after the cash register is destroyed until someone points out the shelter.
In the shelter, the mayor is trying to calm everyone, but they won't stop worrying. When the mayor also thinks that Bikini Bottom is doomed, a mysterious dolphin warrior comes in and says that they must sacrifice the most miserable person. When Squidward goes towards the door, SpongeBob says that they must find the most miserable person, but Squidward mocks him. They then realize Squidward is the most miserable person, so they attempt to sacrifice him. Before they throw him in the volcano alive, SpongeBob offers to be thrown in because he made Squidward miserable. Squidward accidentally falls off a ledge and asks SpongeBob to help him. When SpongeBob reminds him of his promise, Squidward takes it back and SpongeBob saves him. Meanwhile, the pipe at Squidward's house has built up so much water that it sends the house flying, and it falls into the volcano. The dolphin then says that he was going to say that the most miserable person's HOUSE must be sacrificed, and the people are once again calmed; except for Squidward, who now has no roof to sleep under. SpongeBob then lets Squidward sleep under his pineapple.