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Someone's in the Kitchen with Sandy (transcript)

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Someonesinthekitchen
General
Season №: 7
Episode №: 129a
Airdate: July 19, 2009
Chronology
Previous: Stuck in the Wringer
Next: The Inside Job
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Someone's in the Kitchen with Sandy" from season seven, which aired on July 19, 2009.

  • [episode starts in the Krusty Krab kitchen. The camera zooms in on the closet where the buns are stored. Then, it zooms into one particular bun. Plankton, short of breath, unzips a sesame seed]
  • Plankton: All the way from the bakery. But it will all be worth it when I finally get the Krabby Patty.
  • Plankton: Here we go...
  • [SpongeBob puts the buns on a Krabby Patty and walks out of the kitchen walking past Squidward]
  • Plankton: Perfect, he's headed for the front door. Now it's time to make my exit.
  • [SpongeBob arrives to Sandy's table]
  • SpongeBob: Here you go Sandy, a special patty for a special friend.
  • Sandy: Why, thanks SpongeBob. I sure am obliged. I love these things, but it's always a little tricky eating one. Pardon me. [unzips her spacesuit and slips the patty in]
  • Plankton: Oh no! What's happening?
  • [Plankton jumps out of the seed. Sandy starts messily eating the Krabby Patty]
  • Plankton: Eeeew! [chokes] No water! Can't breathe!
  • [Plankton faints. Later, Sandy returns to the Treedome and enters the tree]
  • Sandy: La da da da dee da da da da da dee...
  • [Sandy enters the bathroom and takes off her spacesuit. Sandy turns on the shower and steps in]
  • Sandy: Time to get this stinky thing off!
  • [There is a tearing sond as Sandy grabs the fur on her head and literally rips the fur pelt and bikini down the middle, revealing her pink body clad in only panties and a padded bra. She steps out of her fur, picks it up and smells it]
  • Sandy: Whew! Boy, that's ripe.
  • [She hangs it up, gets back in the shower, and starts shampooing her [bald] head]
  • Sandy: A-doop-doo, a-doop-doop-doo...
  • [Water splases onto Plankton, reviving him]
  • Plankton: What's going on? Where am I?
  • Sandy: ♪...A-doop-doop-doo, a-doop-doop-doo, scrub scrub scrub in the tub tub tub...♪
  • [Plankton looks at Sandy, who is facing away from him]
  • Plankton: What in Neptune's ocean is that repulsive thing?!
  • [Sandy, unaware, turns around]
  • Sandy: Mm-mmm! Nothing like a hot shower to make a squirrel feel like a new woman!
  • [Sandy turns away again]
  • Plankton: Sandy Cheeks? But where's her fur?
  • [Plankton sees the fur hanging on its hook]
  • Plankton: Wow! Wait a minute, that's it! I think I found out how to get the Krabby Patty formula once and for all!
  • [The camera faces Sandy, who is scrubbing her bra with soap as if she is washing her breasts. In the background, Plankton rolls Sandy's helmet off-screen]
  • Sandy: ♪Shoobie doop doo, shoobie doop doo...I'm getting clean...no fleas on me...gettin' clean...♪
  • [Plankton stuffs the pelt into Sandy's helmet, leaves the bathroom, and locks Sandy in]
  • Plankton: Hope you like long showers, squirrel!
  • [Later, at the Chum Bucket, Plankton arrives with Sandy's pelt]
  • Karen: Was there an accident? What is that?
  • Plankton: Our ticket to the Krabby Patty formula, that's what that is!
  • Karen: Oh no. You can't be serious.
  • Plankton: As serious as a shark attack.
  • [Back at the treedome. Sandy turns off the shower, dries her face with a towel, and wraps it around her body]
  • Sandy: [happily] Aaaaaahhh! Now it's time to out my stinky fur coat!
  • [Sandy walks over to the hook and notices her pelt is gone]
  • Sandy: [surprised] What in tarnation?!
  • [Sandy quickly heads for the door]
  • Sandy: [worried] Maybe I left it outside...
  • [Sandy tries to open door]
  • Sandy: [scared] I'm locked in!
  • [Sandy kicks the door down and steps out, furious. She rips the towel off her body]
  • Sandy: [angry] Some low-life varmint stole my things and broke into my home! MY HOME! I'm gonna get that son of a guitar stringer!
  • [Sandy puts coffee pot over her head as makeshift helmet.. Back at the Chum Bucket. Plankton has made Sandy's pelt into a Sandy Robot. Controlling the robot in a seat in it's mouth, he makes it stand up]
  • Plankton: Okay, Karen, wish me luck!
  • Karen: [referring to the pelt] Repulsive...
  • Plankton: Heh heh. This is going to work like a charm.
  • [Sandy Robot stumbles out of Chum Bucket, down the road, and bumps into Larry Lobster]
  • Plankton: [speaking through Sandy Robot] Watch where you're standin', coral brains!
  • Larry: Sandy? You don't look so good. Hey, you gotta stop eating at the Chum Bucket. That stuff will rot your insides.
  • Plankton/Sandy Robot: Lies! LIES! The Chum Bucket will always be my favorite restaurant!
  • [Larry bends in close to Sandy]
  • Larry: Sandy, you don't sound like yourself.
  • [Plankton closes the pelt's mouth, hiding him from view]
  • Plankton: [in a fake Texan accent] No, Sandy is herself. No reason to be sus-pic-ious in any way, y'all.
  • [Sandy Robot begins to walk away]
  • Larry: Well, as long as there's no reason to be suspicious.
  • Plankton: [to himself, in the robot] That was close. I gotta perfect that Texas drawl.
  • [Sandy Robot passes two fish at a bus stop]
  • Plankton/Sandy Robot: Yee-ha! Yee-ha, yee-ha, yee-ha!
  • [Sandy Robot smashes through the Krusty Krab's door and passes Harold]
  • Plankton/Sandy Robot: Howdy, pardner!
  • [Sandy Robot knocks down door to kitchen and walks in]
  • SpongeBob: Sandy! You're back!
  • Plankton/Sandy Robot: Yep, that Krabby Patty was so darn good I gotta see how y'all make one!
  • SpongeBob: Say, Sandy. You look...different.
  • Plankton: Uh, what are y-y'all talkin' about, SpongeBob? It's your old pal, in the livin' fur.
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, but something about you is different...I just can't put my finger on it.
  • Plankton: [to himself] Please don't put your finger on it.
  • SpongeBob: I got it! You're not wearing your spacesuit and helmet!
  • Plankton/Sandy Robot: Uhhh...yeah. That's...uh...cause...uh...I just breathe underwater now, it's as simple as that.
  • SpongeBob: Let's get cookin'!
  • [Plankton sighs of relief and SpongeBob brings out a basket of patties, picks up one, and sniffs it]
  • SpongeBob: Ahhh, the gooey freshness that is the Krabby Patty patty.
  • Plankton: Lemme stop you there, SquarePants. I'd be much obliged to know how y'all make one of them there patties.
  • SpongeBob: Hohohoho. No can do, buddy. That would require revealing the secret formula. And that is explicitly forbidden as per my current labor contract.
  • [SpongeBob shows Sandy robot a packet of paper titled "Krusty Krab industries Labor Agreement"]
  • Plankton: Yeah, but this is yer old buddy Sandy Cheeks. [reads from a Texas Drawl book] Why, you and me are as closer 'n two catfish in a skillet.
  • SpongeBob: Ah, Sandy, 44-929b specifically prohibits the disclosure of the secret formula to friends, even when those friends are, quote, "closer 'n two catfish in a skillet."
  • [SpongeBob shows the Sandy robot section 44-929b]
  • Plankton: [to himself] Curse you, Krabs!
  • SpongeBob: But I can show you all the other ins and outs of making a steamy Krabby Patty. First, I make sure I'm at the comfortable grilling temperature of 274 degrees.
  • [SpongeBob sets the grill to 274 degrees]
  • SpongeBob: And we are guh-rillin'.
  • Plankton: An' approximately how long do you cook a patty?
  • SpongeBob: A Krabby Patty is cooked for exactly 283 seconds on each side.
  • Plankton: [taking notes] 283 seconds. I can't believe I'm getting all this straight from the source. How could this get any easier?
  • [Mr. Krabs bursts through the door and sets the Krabby Patty formula on a table]
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm puttin' the secret Krabby Patty formula out in plain sight.
  • [Plankton jumps through the eyeholes]
  • Plankton: Yee-haw!
  • [SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs stare at the Sandy Robot]
  • Mr. Krabs: Yeah...Anyway, I'm gonna leave it out here while I clean out the safe. Don't let it out of your sight, boy-o.
  • SpongeBob: [saluting Mr. Krabs] You can always count on me, Mr. K.
  • Plankton: Oh-ho ho, man! That secret formula is as good as mine.
  • [Meanwhile, Sandy looks at the town, her panties covered by a clump of seaweed]
  • Sandy: The no-good who nabbed my pelt surely came here. Probably wanted to cash it in on the Bikini Bottom black market. Well, not if I catch that varmint first.
  • [Sandy enters the town, and runs into Harold]
  • Sandy: You! You seen anybody in these parts haulin' a fur pelt?
  • [Harold looks at Sandy's pink, hairless, scantily clad body and laughs]
  • Harold: Look! A naked chipmunk!
  • [More fish gather around Sandy and laugh]
  • Sandy: Chipmunk?! What is so funny about havin' my fur stole?
  • Random Fish: Aren't you ashamed of having your pink rat flesh exposed?
  • Everyone: YEAH!
  • Sandy: [to herself] With this much attention, that no-good fur thief will see me comin' a mile away. I best find somethin' to cover my hind end.
  • [Sandy darts into an alley and hides behind some garbage cans. She notices a seaweed bush and rips some seaweed off. She makes the seaweed into a "grass skirt," which she puts on]
  • Sandy: Time to go catch me some scum!
  • [Back at the Krusty Krab]
  • SpongeBob: Now that we're grillin', we can work on the fixin's! See, there are two patties here. But before we get into slicing and dicing we always start with the washing. We'll begin with the seaweed.
  • [SpongeBob begins to wash a slice of seaweed, Plankton watches the formula across the tabe from him]
  • Plankton: Okay, I'll stand on thata' side for a better view.
  • SpongeBob: Okey dokey, but pay close attention, for cleanliness is the public's last defense against a life of horrible disease.
  • Plankton: There it is.
  • SpongeBob: Always ensure that your brush is adequately lathered....Always making sure to get both sides...
  • Plankton: That's nice. That's interestin'.
  • [Sandy Robot reaches for the formula]
  • Plankton: Almost there...
  • [SpongeBob is drying the seaweed with a blowdryer]
  • SpongeBob: Then lay it down onto the drying rack and we'll engage our drying phase, hmm.
  • [Sandy Robot is about to grab the formula]
  • SpongeBob: Sandy!
  • [Sandy Robot turns around]
  • Plankton: [Panicky] What, nothin'!
  • SpongeBob: Remember, never overdry. Otherwise, the seaweed becomes brittle and cracks.
  • [Across town, Sandy is warming her body by a vent, looking around for the thief who took her pelt]
  • Sandy: That dastardly rustler's got to be somewhere in these parts.
  • [Sandy's seaweed skirt overheats and shatters. Sandy covers herself with her hands, some police point and laugh]
  • Police: Hey look, a hairless goat!
  • [Sandy, embarassed and humiliated, flees. She runs behind a park bench and a surfboard, covering her panties. Bikini Bottomites point and laugh, and a reporter takes a picture. Back at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob is making Sandy Robot finish by putting the top bun on the patty.
  • SpongeBob: Steady, steady...Nice. Oh, you're off-center by 3.6 millimeters. Mmmph, try it again, Sandy.
  • Plankton: [To himself] Aaugh! This is getting so tedious!
  • Plankton/Sandy Robot: Maybe you should demonstrate a few more times so I can get the hang of it.
  • SpongeBob: Or, we could address your problem areas directly. Are you struggling with the final wrist flick? Or is your difficulty with the initial transfer move?
  • Plankton: Gaaah!
  • [Meanwhile, Sandy, panting, takes refuge in some bushes]
  • Sandy: I'm tired of running. Time to take a stand.
  • [Sandy steps out of the bushes. A random fish gasps and turns her baby's stroller away from Sandy]
  • Random Fish: A nudist ferret!
  • [Another fish pushes her kids away]
  • Fish: Get in the car, kids!
  • Sandy: It's not my fault!
  • [An angry crown pelts Sandy with juice boxes. She dives back into the bushes and notices an open manhole]
  • Sandy: I better go underground.
  • [Sandy jumps into the manhole and hides in the sewer, feeling miserable]
  • Sandy: What am I gonna do? If I'm ever gonna catch this thug, I'm gonna need some help.
  • [Back at the Krusty Krab, Sandy robot tries to put the bun on again]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, still off by thaty much. Try it again. [Plankton groans, but tries again] Ooh, try again [Plankton tries again] Mmm, try again. [Plankton tries again] Oh, try again. Plankton tries again] Oh, try again.
  • [Plankton tries again]
  • SpongeBob: Eh, try again.
  • Plankton: [Screams and tosses the patty] You try it again! I'm makin' my move!
  • [Sandy Robot grabs the formula and swallows it]
  • Plankton: It's finally mine! Time to kick this baby into four-paw drive!
  • [Sandy Robot runs out of the kitchen on all fours]
  • SpongeBob: Wait Sandy! We can work this out!
  • [Sandy enters the Krusty Krab through a hole in the floor and immediately notices the Sandy Robot]
  • Sandy: My pelt!
  • [SpongeBob rushes out of kitchen]
  • SpongeBob: Mr Krabs! Sandy's makin' off with the formula!
  • [Mr. Krabs, dressed like a maid and vacuuming out the safe, rushes over. SpongeBob sees Sandy facing off Sandy Robot]
  • SpongeBob: Sandy, you're naked! And you don't have any clothes on!
  • Sandy: Unhand my pelt, you unknown varmint!
  • [Plankton pops out Sandy Robot's mouth]
  • Plankton: Only from my cold, dead feelers!
  • Sandy: Plankton! I should have known this was your doin'! Now feel this!
  • [Sandy punches Sandy Robot]
  • Sandy: Hi-ya!
  • [The Sandy Robot is undamaged so Sandy kicks it]
  • Sandy: Pwaaaaa!
  • [The Sandy Robot is knocked into the wall and slumps over. Sandy rolls up her pelt and Plankton and the formula flies out. Mr. Krabs catches the formula, Sandy catches Plankton]
  • Sandy: Gotcha! And now for the appropriate punishment for a no-good, yella' belly like yourself.
  • [Sandy puts Plankton in a jar of mustard]
  • Plankton: My eye! This condiment is highly irritating to my eye!
  • [Sandy's fur pelt is on the ground, Mr. Krabs is shaking it's hand]
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, thank you Sandy. Thank you Sandy.
  • [The real Sandy turns around]
  • Sandy: Uh, sure, Mr. krabs. [The police arrives]
  • Police: We'll take that sicko off your hands.
  • Sandy: Cops! Thank goodness you've come. [Sandy holds up the jar of mustard] Take this sicko away!
  • Police: Actually, we're referring to you, ma'am. Public nudity is against the law in this county. [The police handcuff Sandy] But don't fret. You'll look just fine in prison orange.
  • [Sandy looks at her body and sighs]
THE END.

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