Narrator: And now, it's time for SpongeBob's You Wish Spectacular Special.
Narrator: And now the host of You Wish. He's got puffy and better loons then Captain Kidd, and fuzzier facial hair then Black Beard. He's America's favorite Pirate, Patchy of Encino.
Patchy: Ahoy, fellow fanatics! Welcome to me quarters. Why don't come on back on the galley, I'm cooking up a little treat for you today. Its called a Vote Time. You get to choose how our cartoon ends today, via the phone, or the internet if your technologically inclined. Now this cartoon is different from most cartoons and that-
Potty: Bawk! In what way?
Patchy: Well, If it isn't my less-than-amusing sidekick, Potty the Parrot. Potty, say hello to the nice people.
Potty: Help! I'm being held here against my will-- Help!
Patchy: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh... Oh, Potty come back! Potty? Potty? Were'd you go? Potty, you in here, buddy?
[Then the screen reveals that Patchy is in a cannon that is pointing outside the window]
Potty:[laughs and squawking] Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha.
Patchy: Get me out of here, you scurvy bird! [The cannon blasts Patchy out and Patchy screams; he lands in a neighboring house which sinks like a boat. Patchy returns, still smoking from the cannon blast] Now, what was I saying? Now this cartoon ain't like most of your "land-lobbing cartoons". This cartoon has not one, not two, but three different endings! So, when I tell you to call the number their that's scrolling at the bottom of the screen. [Phone starts ringing. Patchy picks up phone] No, not now! Don't call 'till I tell you to! Roll the cartoon! Now, remember to vote at the end because- [More phones start to ring] Your not gonna make this easy are ya. Quiet! Vast their! Be laze that ringing! Stop! Its driving me mad!
Flying Dutchman: That's enough! Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish. [uses the eeny- meenie-minie-mo method] Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, catch a sailor by the toe, if he hollers, let him go, my mother told me to pick the very best one and...
Voting Guy: All hands! All hands! Its time to vote! Its voting time!
Patchy: Well, that's our cartoon so far. Now its time for you to decide how it ends! Who will get the last wish? Will it be, Sassy Squidward, Porky Patrick, or Good 'Ol SpongeBob. My trusty crew, is eagerly awaiting your call. So, hoist your anchor of that couch, and make with the voting! This is your big chance, And we'll be right back to announce, the winner! [Cuts To Commercials] Ahoy children, I'm back! I hope all you boys and girls got your votes in, because its time for you to walk the plank! [Screen reads: PLEASE STAND BY] Oh, sorry, kids. What I meant to say because it's time to announce the winner! [blows horn] But first, let's look at the endings you didn't choose. According to our high tech counter ology, You didn't choose, Patrick. [An image of Patrick is shown, with a skull in front of him.] But, let's see what Patrick would've wished for if you picked him. OK! Roll the tape! Roll the tape! Roll the tape! Roll the tape! Roll the- oh gaw!
Patchy: Heh heh heh That Patrick shivers me timbers right down to my peg leg! Ha! ha! ha! You were right not to pick that one kids! Seemed like a lot of nonsense to me! Molarchy! Oh well, let's take a look at the other loser! Heh heh heh! [An image of Squidward is shown, with a skull in front of him.] It appears you didn't vote for Squidward. I don't blame you, I wouldn't have either! But, let's see what would happen if the Old Dutchman's Eeny-Minie-Mo finger landed on Squidward!
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, So get ready to blow milk out of your nose because its time to announce, the winner! The envelope please Potty. Thank you, my fine feathered assistant. Well what do you know? The winner is, SpongeBob! [A flag is shown with SpongeBob with the words "Winner" on the left side, Patchy blows his nose] Hey, Potty, do you smell something? Oh, Potty! That fuse in your head! I told you we're not doing that stunt!
Potty: Brawk, I didn't get the memo! Brawk! [Potty blows up along with Patchy; Patchy coughs up a feather and recovers from the blast]
Patchy: And now, the most requested ending! Hooray! [Potty collapses to the floor]
SpongeBob's ending starts
Patchy:[Patchy is shown sitting at the counch crying] Hold on! Sorry about that kids! Its just that old Patchy can't help but get all choked up at the end of a show. But the good news is, when you watch this cartoon land-lobbing style like you usually do, it'll have the ending you picked, so now your an official big time cartoon decision maker! [Cuts to a bunch of monkeys at a zoo] Just don't let it go to your head! Well, say good night to the folks Potty! Potty!
Potty: Sqwuak! I quit! I quit!
Patchy: Ohhh! Oh, that's it folks! Right now I got a little employee management to take care of! Oh, Potty! Potty, get in your nice cage! Potty I'm not kidding!
Narrator: And so, we conclude SpongeBob's You Wish Spectacular Special! Thanks for voting!