Narrator: The first day of spring in Bikini Bottom. The flowers are blooming, the rainbows are... how you say? Bowing. The jellyfish are buzzing, [flowers grow all over SpongeBob's house, covering it] and it's time for the traditional...
SpongeBob: Spring cleaning! Guess what time of year it is, Gary?
Gary: Meow! [Gary meows in pain. SpongeBob is singing while using Gary as a vacuum cleaner to clean up his house]
SpongeBob: Thanks for your help, Gar!
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick. How's your spring cleaning going?
Patrick: It's Spring Cleaning Day?! Why didn't anyone tell me?!
[Patrick runs through his pile of junk to get an ear cleaner]
Patrick: Found it! Thanks for the reminder, SpongeBob! [Patrick cleans his belly button] See ya again next spring. [notices trash can] Whatcha got in your trash can? Huh! You're throwing this away!!?? The wrapper of the gum I gave you yesterday!!??
SpongeBob: Oh, yeah.
Patrick: Oh! Some people just don't understand sentimental value. [gasps] You're throwing away Pete!? Y-You can't part with a keepsake! That's why you keep them, for Pete's sake! Hmph! Why, I'm disgusted! It's time you re-evaluate your priorities.
SpongeBob: Hmm. Maybe Patrick is right. All of these things do hold precious memories. [garbage man tries to take junk. SpongeBob gasps] No! [tries to take his junk back] Come on, you! [continues to pull] Gotcha! Welcome home, precious memories. [puts back his junk and saves empty box of Kelpo and toy wrapper] Plastic wrap is neat, huh, Gary?
Gary: Meow! [Gary is on top of old newspaper]
SpongeBob:[SpongeBob at the Krusty Krab] Order up! Careful with these ones, Squidward. They're special.
Squidward: Oh, dear me. I know. I hope I never forget this moment.
SpongeBob: You're right. I'm going to need something to preserve the memory.
SpongeBob: Whoo-wee! Nothing like a hard day of work at the Krusty Krab, eh, Squidward? Whew!
[SpongeBob saves his work sweat]
Squidward: You're sentimental about your sweat?
SpongeBob: Oh, that's not all! And I'm also very sentimental about these Krusty Krab keepsakes, so many memories! Grill grease, gum from under the Krusty Krab tables, today's mop water, bendy straws, mayonnaise, a collection of freshly used ketchup packets, and these are today's order tickets written by my favorite fellow employee, Squidward. See? This one has your tentacle print on it!
Squidward: OK, this is getting creepy now.
SpongeBob: Oh, well, better get these precious memories home.
Squidward: Officially creeped out now.
SpongeBob:[SpongeBob singing]♪Memories, doo doo doo memories, doo doo doo doo memories.♪ [opens his door while all of his junk is there] Hey, Gary. [Gary is on top of more old newspaper trying to eat his food. SpongeBob going up the stairs with junk in his wagon] Oh. Safe and sound! [SpongeBob's junk almost falls down, but SpongeBob closes the door before it falls down] Whoo, closed up tight! And you said it wouldn't fit. [all of SpongeBob's junk falls out]
Gary: Meow, meow, meow.
SpongeBob: Oh, nonsense, Gary, I'll find a place to put everything.
[SpongeBob looks outside]
SpongeBob: Like the front yard!
[Squidward is sleeping and gets up by the clock. Squidward gasps when he sees SpongeBob's junk. Squidward opens his door when all of SpongeBob's junk is in the way. Squidward knocks on SpongeBob's door]
SpongeBob: Who is it? [in a singing voice]
Squidward: It's Squidward.
SpongeBob: How do I know it's you?
Squidward: Open the door, nitwit!
SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Squidward, can I help you?
Squidward: You can certainly help... [Squidward looks at SpongeBob] Why are you wearing garbage?
SpongeBob: Thanks for noticing, Squidward, and may I say that's a very becoming dress you're wearing this morning.
Squidward: Dress? It is not a dress, it's a nightshirt. If you don't get rid of this trash, I'm calling the sanitation police.
SpongeBob: Ah, not the sanitation police! You don't understand, these things aren't junk! They're my friends, like this little guy, [SpongeBob crying at a light bulb] Alfred the light bulb. Oh, we had a great time together, Al, reading, paying the bills. Why is it the ones who glow brightest burn out the soonest?! [SpongeBob starts to cry] You will be missed.
Squidward: Touching. Still creepy, but touching. Time to make a phone call. [cops come]
Cop 1: Sanitation police! This is a raid. Step away from the refuse.
Squidward: Thank goodness you're here, officer.
Cop: Is this your filthy home?
Squidward: No, it's not my home! It belongs to that filthy little dirtbag!
Cop 1: Thanks for the information, citizen.
Cop 2:[To Squidward] Hmph, snitch.
Cop 1: Do your duty, Sergeant.
Cop 2:[Puts a sticker that reads "COMDEMNED" on SpongeBob's house]
Cop 1: This residence is now comdemned.
SpongeBob: Condemned? What does that mean?
Cop 1: Condemned means this house is unfit to live in. You'll have to vacate the home immediately.
SpongeBob: Vacate? You mean I have to move?
Cop 1: Anything that is a threat to public health must be condemned. Sargeant.
Cop 2:[Puts a sticker that reads "CONDEMNED" on the trashbag on SpongeBob's head]
Squidward: Thank you again, officers.
SpongeBob: Wait! Please don't condemn my house.
Squidward: Sorry, SpongeBob, the law is the law. We can't just pick and choose which ones we follow.
Cop 1: I'll request a commendation for you.
Cop 1: Right after we condemn your house!
Squidward: My house?!
Cop 1: Yes! It's as filthy as your neighbor's. [Shows Squidward's house from the outside being as dirty as SpongeBob's]
SpongeBob:: But isn't there anything we can do?
Cop 1: You can evacuate the premises or throw away your junk.
SpongeBob: Throw them away?
Cop 1: Thank you for the attempt, ma'am.
Squidward: Ma'am? It's a nightshirt! [the cops leave] This is all your fault! You have to get rid of your junk right now!
SpongeBob: I know. [crying] I'm gonna miss them so much! [continues crying]
Squidward: You really miss them?
SpongeBob: No. I'll be strong. [continues crying again]
Squidward: Well, maybe you can take photos of all your junk... uh, friends before you toss them away.
SpongeBob: That's a great idea, Squidward! Then years from now, I can look at the photos, and remember my... remember my precious little babies!
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Squidward, the latter with his hat on and the former holding it, as the garbage man takes the junk away. He elbows Squidward to get his attention, and then points to his head to remind him to take his hat off.]
Squidward:[mutters under his breath] Oh, good grief. [takes his hat off]
[SpongeBob sniffles as the garbage man takes the last can of junk away and throws it into the truck. SpongeBob walks over to him, holding up some dollar bills.]
SpongeBob: Your pay, my good man.
[The garbage man takes the money and gets into the truck. SpongeBob sniffs again as the truck begins to drive back to the dump.]
SpongeBob:[fighting back tears] Goodbye, little friends. Have fun at the dump!
[the garbage truck drives away]
Squidward: Well, now that you completely ruined my day, once again, I'm going back to bed.
SpongeBob: Alright, nighty-night.
Squidward: Idiot. [opens his door full of photos. He sees a picture of Pete] What the...?! SpongeBob, why is my house filled with photos of your dumb junk?
SpongeBob: Oh, I forgot to tell you, I took so many pictures I ran out of room in my house. [He opens the door too filled with photos and Patrick appears sliding with photos]