SpongeBob: Hey, Sandy. Hey, Sandy. Hey, Sandy! [While knocking on her door, a spaceship comes up from underneath the ground at the left side of the tree dome] Wow! [Sandy peeks her head out of a spaceship window]
Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob, how do you like it?
SpongeBob: What is it?
Sandy: It's a rocket ship, duh! I'll meet you downstairs and show you around.
SpongeBob:[Sandy rides an elevator on the bottom floor and meets SpongeBob downstairs] Wow, what are you gonna do with it?
Sandy:[pointing to a poster of the moon] I'm going to the moon, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: The moon! Can I go?
Sandy: No way, SpongeBob. Especially after your little mishap with my whirlybird. [shown a graveyard of dead animals] Besides, there's not enough room for you.
SpongeBob: But I don't take up that much space! [squishes himself into a little square] See? [downsizes himself to fit into a little drawer] I can fit in here. [closes the drawer] Mmm, cozy.
Sandy: I need that drawer.
SpongeBob: Well, how about… [jumps into a test tube] This? [jumps into another test tube] Or this? [jumps into another test tube] Or this?
Sandy: SpongeBob, this isn't for fun. [shows her clipboard with math equations on it] See this? This is science. I don't have time for games and I don't have time for stowaways. [SpongeBob is behind a set of bars]
SpongeBob: Fine. [deep voice] Put me in the brig, I don't mind!
Sandy: That's the air vent, SpongeBob. [pushes a button to turn the air vent on that blows SpongeBob out of it] I need that, too.
SpongeBob: Oh, please, can I go? Can I? Can I? Huh? Please?
Sandy: All right. Y'all can ride in the cargo hold if you just…
SpongeBob:[running around the ship] Yeah! Goin' to the moon! Moon ride! Moon ride! Moon ride!
Sandy:[grabs SpongeBob] But this time, just don't touch anything, okay? [Cuts to Sandy pumping a gun and SpongeBob comes to watch her]
SpongeBob: Wow, look at that pop gun. Are we gonna go hunting aliens on the moon?
Sandy: Aww, hush, silly. [shoots her gun and 3 gray nets cover a couple items] This is for harvesting moon rocks.
SpongeBob: Well, when you're done playing with rocks, you could use that for some serious alien hunting.
Sandy: Aliens? Are you nuts? I've been to the moon, there are no aliens.
SpongeBob: Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. How could you be so naive? There's evidence all around us. How do you explain Atlantis, cow licks, 99¢ stores? [walks around and forms a circle around him and Sandy with his shoes] And how about those mysterious circles that pop up in kelp fields over night? [sees a circle] Ahh!!, there's one now!
Sandy: SpongeBob, you don't know the first thing about outer space. Now go home and get some shut eye. Be here tomorrow at the crack of dawn and leave those crazy alien notions behind.
SpongeBob:[trying to sleep. Checks the clock every few seconds] Oh, hurry up! [grabs two clothes pins and puts them on his eyelids] These oughta do the trick.
Patrick:[Sitting in the window] Hiya, SpongeBob! [clothes pins shoot off his eyes]
SpongeBob: What is it, Patrick? Can't you see I'm sleeping here?
Patrick: Well, I know you're going on that moon trip tomorrow, so I just wanted to bring you something.
SpongeBob: A present?
Patrick: No. Uhh, SpongeBob, is Sandy's rocket alien proof?
SpongeBob: There are no aliens, Patrick. Just ask Sandy.
Patrick:[shows a spray can] Well, I guess you won't be needing this alien repellent for your trip!
SpongeBob: Alien repellent? Let me see that. [looks at the can] New Alien-Out Window Protectant. Does not stop burglars. Well, I guess you're right, Patrick. We'd better go spray those windows! [SpongeBob & Patrick walk up to the rocket]
Patrick: Look how big it is, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: It's pretty impressive, all right.
Patrick: Come on! [both head for the rocket]
SpongeBob: We're just here to spray the windows, Patrick!
Patrick: Wow. How do you think we get inside? [pulls a level that says "open"]
SpongeBob: We don't, we're just spraying the… [door opens on SpongeBob] …windows.
Patrick: I opened it, SpongeBob! Come on! [both walk inside] Holy seacow, SpongeBob. This must be the control room.
SpongeBob: Yeah, Just don't touch anything. [Patrick starts playing with everything]
Patrick: Look, I'm winning!
SpongeBob: Patrick, cut that out! Patrick, come on, we can't hang around in here. This is Sandy's big rocket, not some kind of a fun… [SpongeBob turns around and looks at himself as thin in the mirror] …house?
Patrick: Woo-hoo! Winner! Yeah! High score!
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, what game was that, anyway?
Patrick: I don't know! [notices a lever above his head] But let's see what this does!
SpongeBob: Patrick, I don't think we should… [Patrick pulls a lever and the two launch off the seat out of the rocket]
Patrick: I like rockets. [both fall back into the rocket]
Patrick: More! More!
SpongeBob: No more! [Patrick presses a button and both shake a lot then stop] Okay, one more. [shake again] Okay, that's enough. Let's go.
Patrick: Oh, wait, I think this one starts it. [SpongeBob stops Patrick from pushing a button]
SpongeBob: Patrick, what are you doing? I'm the space traveler here and I happen to know that that particular button is right over here. [presses the engine button and the ship starts up and is blasting off]
Patrick: You started the rocket!
Sandy:[notices the smoke] Oh, SpongeBob… [SpongeBob & Patrick hold onto each other while the ship is taking off]
Patrick: Hold on, buddy! [while screaming, SpongeBob & Patrick are falling down to the bottom of the ship. The ship enters space and both of them start to float] Hey, we stopped falling!
SpongeBob: Look! [points at the dark galaxy] We're in space now! Whee! [both float around in the ship]
Patrick: Hey! Whoa! Somebody get me down, or up, or something! [SpongeBob laughs as the ship is going around the moon] Hey, SpongeBob, watch this! [squirts toothpaste into some peanut butter]
SpongeBob: Hey! You got your toothpaste in my peanut butter! [SpongeBob lifts a heavy weight] Patrick, I can do this! [the ship is landing back into the sea and the heavy weight hurls into the ground and flattens SpongeBob's hand]
Patrick: Hey, who turned the heavy back on?
SpongeBob: We must be landing.
Patrick: All right! [Sandy uses her jetpack to fly up to the moon]
Sandy: Sometimes that SpongeBob is as dumb as a sack of peanuts. [the ship is now in Bikini Bottom. While Sandy searches for SpongeBob & Patrick on the moon, these two get out of the ship]
Patrick: Wow, it sure looks a lot like home. [Patrick sees Gary asleep] Hey, look, it's Gary! Come here, Gary. Gary!
SpongeBob: Wait, don't go near it, Patrick! Can't you see this is all a trick? The aliens are projecting our memories onto the environment! They're trying to confuse us, Patrick.
Patrick: So you mean to say they've taken what we thought we think and make us think we thought our thoughts we've been thinking our thoughts we think we thought? I think…
SpongeBob: Okay, but I'm not gonna to fall for it! [SpongeBob captures Gary with a gray net-like substance] Yeah!
Patrick: You got him, SpongeBob! Won't Sandy be proud.
SpongeBob: Sandy. I forgot about her. She's gonna hate us for stealing her rocket. But won't she feel silly when I bring home a real live alien? Aww, she'll love me! [grabs Gary] Come on, Patrick, the more, the merrier! [tosses Gary into the ship. Ship's number increases from 00 to 01; ding from "The Price Is Right"]
Patrick: Alien hunting! Alien hunting!
SpongeBob: Shh, quiet, Patrick, don't let them know we're onto them! Uhh, yeah, alien hunting. I saw that on TV, too. Gee Patrick, let's drop in on our old pal Squidward and see what he's up to. [whispering to Patrick] Make sure your gun is pumped. [go in and see Squidward sleeping] Look at it, Patrick, it's disgusting. [Squidward moves his arms and legs around then puts them back down] It's even uglier up close. Let's begin the analysis. [SpongeBob takes the covers off]
Patrick: Wait, what's that? [SpongeBob takes a red bag out from underneath Squidward. It appears to be a urine absorbing pad] I think I'm gonna be sick.
SpongeBob: Patrick, do you know what this thing is?
SpongeBob: No, it's an egg sac! Let's look at the embryo. [Patrick puts flashlight under the so-called "egg sac" and SpongeBob's hands are under it]
SpongeBob & Patrick: Twins. [Squidward rolls over in his sleep and his right tentacle sticks on Patrick's helmet]
Patrick: Pardon my French but get this thing off me! [SpongeBob & Patrick try to get his tentacles off but they wake him up instead]
Squidward: Patrick and SpongeBob? Get out of my bedroom! And give me back my tentacles!
Patrick: It's awake!
SpongeBob: Let's capture the little phony! [Squidward screams]
Squidward: Get away from me! [runs away while SpongeBob & Patrick try to capture him. Outside, Mr. Krabs walks up with his pet worm and notices Squidward's house shaking. SpongeBob & Patrick come out with Squidward captured]
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, there, lads! Up a bit late to be playing pirate, aren't ye? [laughs. SpongeBob & Patrick points their guns at his head] Wait! Don't shoot. Okay, okay, shoot me, but don't take me money!
SpongeBob: We don't want your money, moon man! [both capture Mr. Krabs and toss him and Squidward into the ship] Look at them squirming around in there.
Patrick: Eww, gross.
SpongeBob: Well, there's plenty more where those came from. [at Boating School]
Mrs. Puff:[grading some of her students' paper] SpongeBob, what are you doing here so late? [captured] Whatever this is… [inflates herself and has a deep voice] …it's going on your permanent record! [Flats, a woman, and Larry are captured along with all of Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob & Patrick are run out of room in the ship for everyone]
Patrick: SpongeBob, I think we might have to make a second trip.
SpongeBob: There's no time for that! Just push harder. [Sandy is on her jetpack floating down]
Sandy: SpongeBob, what are y'all doing? I can't turn my back on you for two seconds without you causing a whole mess of trouble. Why look at ya, bagging up all your friends and neighbors just like they were a fresh crop of hickory smoked sausages. You darned turned my little science experiment into a disaster. You two oughta should be ashamed of… [SpongeBob & Patrick capture her]
SpongeBob: Nice try, Sandy.
Patrick: Or should I say Ms. Alien Pants. [laughs]
Sandy: Aliens? Is that what this is about? [SpongeBob & Patrick throw her into the ship] This isn't the moon, we're still in Bikini Bot… [door is shut]
SpongeBob: It just goes to show you: you can't trust anyone. [both stare at each other and pump their guns] So, you were an alien all the time and you didn't even tell me!
Patrick: I didn't even know!
SpongeBob: Yeah? Well, I got you now.
Patrick: Oh, but it's not you that's got me, it's… [Patrick catches himself with the gray netting] …me that's got me!
SpongeBob: Boy, I can't wait to see the look on Sandy's face when she sees this! [ship runs out of gas and stops on the moon] Sandy, I'm back! [peeks out the window] Wow, Bikini Bottom sure looks different. [sees the Earth] Uh-oh…
Everyone else: SpongeBob, we "aliens" would like a word with you!