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Sandy's Nutmare
Season №: 9
Episode №: 201a
Airdate: July 12, 2016
Previous: "Goodbye, Krabby Patty?"
Next: "Bulletin Board"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Sandy's Nutmare" from season nine, which aired on July 12, 2016.

  • [The episode opens to Sandy's Treedome with Sandy, SpongeBob, and Patrick all eating Krabby Patties.]
  • Patrick: Watch this. [opens up water helmet to insert Krabby Patties, sucks them into his mouth and burps]
  • [Both SpongeBob and Sandy giggle.]
  • [SpongeBob reaches for the Krabby Patty but gets stopped by Sandy. Then the same thing happens to Sandy, and they both repeat the same process.]
  • SpongeBob: Mmm-hey!
  • Sandy: Hey!
  • SpongeBob: Hey!
  • Sandy: Hey!
  • SpongeBob: Hey!
  • Sandy: Hey!
  • [They glare at each other and begin a karate duel.]
  • Sandy: Hiyah, hiyah! Hiyah!
  • SpongeBob: [screaming "hiyah"]
  • [They both run at each other and Sandy kicks him in the face, sending SpongeBob into her tree. As SpongeBob falls, a pile of leaves fall down on him, causing SpongeBob to dance out like a leprechaun.]
  • SpongeBob: Isn't it a little early for autumn, Sandy?
  • Patrick: Yeah, it's only, um... [looks at his bandage with a clock drawn on it] June o'clock. [eats Krabby Patty]
  • Sandy: It ain't autumn! [picks up an acorn to sniff] [gasps] Oh, my tree is dying!
  • Patrick: [hits tree with hatchet] Good, we can use the wood.
  • Sandy: Patrick, stop! I can save it with science.
  • Patrick: Okay. Hmm. [throws hatchet at her window, causing it to crack and spew water]
  • Sandy: [groans]
  • [The scene transitions to Sandy, who appears to be working on her solution for her tree.]
  • Sandy: [looks at an old-looking acorn with microscope]
  • Acorn: Feed me!
  • Sandy: Jumpin' beans on a trampoline! You're starvin'! I got to make you the best fertilizer known to critter-kind!
  • [Sandy then pours four different solutions for four trees exactly the same. The solution gives them all different reactions.]
  • Sandy: [pours first solution on one plant, causing it to burst] [gasps then screams] [pours second solution to plant, causing a tree branch to form into a human hand, which grabs Sandy by the neck] [stabs it with broom, gasps, and pants, she takes out a bottle of growth pills] Ah, growth pills. [pours third solution to plant, causing it to expand] Hi! [plant blows up in her face] Nuts. [opens her desk and pulls out her chemistry set, she takes out a baster with serum in it] Ah-ha! [pours last solution on plant, causing it to form into a miniature tree, which grows acorns] Yee-haw!
  • [The scene transitions to Sandy who is seen spraying her solution onto her tree.]
  • Sandy: [humming cheerfully] Aw, I hope this is the pick-me-up you needed ole' girl. [an acorn grows and falls onto Sandy's head] Well, kiss my grits! This here's the biggest acorn I ever did see! [more acorns fall, causing a big pile of acorns] And so are those! I'd better start storing these for winter. [shoves a whole load of acorns into her mouth] I might need an alternate storage solution.
  • [The scene cuts to Sandy, who is trying to push all her food into her storage space, which ends up failing and getting covered with acorns. She then uses her tongue to call SpongeBob.]
  • Sandy: Hey there, SpongeBob? Could you swing by my place?
  • [Sandy's tree continues to rain down acorns. Sandy and SpongeBob are in the tree where her room is filled with acorns.]
  • Sandy: I love squirreling away nuts, but this is just too much!
  • SpongeBob: I'd say you've certainly got a real nutmare on your hands.
  • [Sandy slaps SpongeBob in the face.]
  • Sandy: Just dump these somewhere! I'm gonna put more under my bed.
  • SpongeBob: Yes, ma'am!
  • [The scene changes to SpongeBob in a mythical-looking area, carrying a huge pile of acorns in a wheel barrel. He dumps the acorns over a cliff.]
  • Shalmon: [offscreen] Stop!
  • [SpongeBob turns around and sees an old fish wearing a red robe and a jellyfish hat, who is pointing his clam staff at him.]
  • SpongeBob: Whoa. Who are you?
  • Shalmon: [floats down] I am the spirit guide of the salmon people! I am the Shalmon!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, hey there, Shalmon. Uh, my name is SpongeBob.
  • Shalmon: Why do you dump your nuts on my people's land, SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: Oh, they're not mine. They're my friend, Sandy's.
  • Shalmon: Allow me to give you some sage advice. You must not squander nature's bounty. Nuts are meant to be eatin'. [pulls out his secrets book] It's all in my book.
  • [The Shalmon drops his book on SpongeBob, squishing him in the sand. SpongeBob pops out and reads the book.]
  • SpongeBob: Meant to be eatin' eh?
  • Shalmon: Of course! The earth provides our food and we must care for her in return. [balances on a rock] It's all about balance, my friend. Look at my garden.
  • [SpongeBob looks through his telescope and sees plants growing.]
  • SpongeBob: Wow. It's coming in great.
  • [SpongeBob adjusts the telescope to look closer, but ends up seeing armpit hair in the Shalmon's sleeve. SpongeBob laughs in embarrassment and the Shalmon pulls his sleeve back up.]
  • Shalmon: [sighs] Over there!
  • [SpongeBob looks and sees a much beautiful looking garden with real plants growing.]
  • SpongeBob: Even better!
  • [The scene changes to Sandy's tree continuing to rain down acorns. Sandy is storing her nuts in her fridge.]
  • Sandy: So some Shalmon guy told you people would want to eat my nuts and you believe it?
  • SpongeBob: Uh huh. Uh huh. Surely the Shalmon isn't a sham.
  • Sandy: Shertainly not! I mean certainly not! [pulls out her cookbook] Let's see what we can cook up. Aged Nut Brie. Ghost Nut Chili. How 'bout Nutty Butter? Seems easy enough to make.
  • [Sandy pulls a branch and a huge bundle of acorns rain down. She takes a cleaver and cuts a small amount of acorns she needs to make Nutty Butter. She rolls the acorns into liquid with her log-shaped rolling pin. Then she scoops the liquefied acorns into a bowl and stirs it all up before adding a dash of lard to it. She mixes them together and adds some salt on it. She then tastes the Nutty Butter.]
  • Sandy: Woo-hoo! That's delicious!
  • [Sandy gives a handful of Nutty Butter to SpongeBob for him to taste.]
  • SpongeBob: Wow! Patrick would wanna try this.
  • Patrick: [arrives at the scene] Try what?
  • [Sandy and SpongeBob are startled by Patrick's sudden appearance. Patrick takes a handful of Nutty Butter and rubs it on his stomach.]
  • Sandy: Patrick, that Nutty Butter is for eating.
  • Patrick: I know. [takes off his helmet and bites on his stomach] Ow! [sucks the butter and bites again] Ow! [sucks the butter and bites again] Ow!
  • Sandy: Hmm. Why don't you boys take some for the road?
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Thanks!
  • [Sandy gives SpongeBob and Patrick two jars full of her Nutty Butter and they leave. Sandy begins to clean up until she hears a knock. She answers and finds that it's Patrick.]
  • Patrick: Can I have some more? [points to his back that is smeared by her Nutty Butter] It's hard to eat off this side of me. [tries to reach with his tongue but couldn't]
  • Sandy: Sure, Patrick! Here's the last of it!
  • [Sandy gives Patrick seven jars full of her Nutty Butter.]
  • Patrick: Thanks, Sandy!
  • [The scene changes to Sandy finally getting her tree all cleaned up from the acorns.]
  • Sandy: There. Everything is back to normal. [she hears noise outside her treedome] What in tarnation?
  • [Sandy walks out of her treedome and sees a crowd of people chanting "We Want Nutty Butter!" at her front door. Patrick appears in the crowd.]
  • Patrick: Hey, Sandy!
  • Sandy: Patrick, what's going on here?
  • Patrick: I want more Nutty Butter.
  • Sandy: Who are all these people?
  • [The crowd continues to chant.]
  • Patrick: Oh. [laughs] They licked the Nutty Butter off my back. [Patrick's back is all clean but there is one particle of Nutty Butter leftover. Frankie Billy licks it off his back.] And now they're here for more.
  • Sandy: Aw, gosh Patrick. I don't have enough to feed everyone.
  • Abigail Marge: But it's the only thing my boy will eat!
  • Archie: Guess I'll have to go to bed hungry again.
  • [The crowd grumbles in disgust at Sandy's inconsideration.]
  • Sandy: Well, I don't want to let anyone down. I can make some more acorns!
  • [The scene changes to Sandy at her booth selling her Nutty Butter to the crowd. SpongeBob helps Sandy by selling the Nutty Butter to the people in the streets and to a worm. Everything was going fantastic until Sandy gives the last jar to the last customer in line while Patrick eats some Nutty Butter from his own jar.]
  • Sandy: Making everyone's day with my Nutty Butter really gives me the warm and tinglies!
  • Patrick: Uh huh.
  • Sandy: In fact, demands have been so high, I scienced up a way to increase my production.
  • [Sandy's tree is being conducted by a fertilizer tank she made and it provides more acorns for her to make Nutty Butter.]
  • Sandy: SpongeBob, here, scoops acorns onto my conveyor belt. [SpongeBob shovels some acorns on the conveyor belt] Then the tubes take them inside [the tube sucks up the acorns and Sandy pulls the lever down on her Nutty Butter machine to put some in a jar] where I turn them into Nutty Butter.
  • [Sandy's fertilizer tank makes the tree provide more acorns.]
  • SpongeBob: [reading the Shalmon's book] Sandy, according to the Shalmon's book, we shouldn't try to force nature to give us more than she's able.
  • Sandy: Don't worry about my tree, SpongeBob. Worry about the crowd of Nutty Butter fans outside.
  • Crowd: We want Nutty Butter! We want Nutty Butter!
  • Sandy: We're gonna need a lot more acorns to feed them all.
  • [Sandy injects some serum into the root and the tree provides more acorns. She goes outside with her wagon full of Nutty Butter to sell to the crowd, but unbeknownst to her, her tree slowly begins to wilt. SpongeBob shovels more acorns onto the conveyor belt until he notices what's happening to the tree as acorns and dead leaves begin to fall.]
  • SpongeBob: Uh oh. Sandy's tree's not lookin' so good. I don't think it can take much more of this, Patrick.
  • Patrick: Uh. Well, it's like Sandy said, "Something, something, something, science." And who are we to argue with science?
  • [SpongeBob wasn't so sure about it but he continues shoveling acorns on the conveyor belt. Suddenly, the fertilizer machine stops working and the tree stops making more acorns.]
  • SpongeBob: Oh no! The nuts stopped!
  • Patrick: Hold on! I got this!
  • [Patrick pokes the tree with his umbrella, but much to his horror, the tree cracks, loses its leaves and inexplicably dies. SpongeBob and Patrick scream.]
  • SpongeBob: Oh no! Patrick, we have to do something! Sandy'll never forgive us if we ruined her tree!
  • Patrick: And I'll never forgive her if she runs out of Nutty Butter!
  • [SpongeBob tries to fix the tree by stapling some dead leaves on it while Patrick tries to make more Nutty Butter by eating some acorns and spitting them into a bucket. The scene changes to Sandy selling the remaining jars of Nutty Butter to the crowd.]
  • Sandy: Please, please no pushing! I'll make more! Remember, Sandy's the squirrel you can count on!
  • [Sandy goes back inside her treedome when she sees her wilted tree, much to her horror.]
  • Sandy: Oh no! What in the Sam Hill is goin' on around here?
  • SpongeBob: The tree got real sick!
  • Patrick: Don't worry. I made more Nutty Butter with the rest of the nuts.
  • Sandy: You used all the nuts? Jumpin' Jiminy! Time for another dose of fertilizer!
  • SpongeBob: Sandy, wait! I don't think that's what your tree needs!
  • Shalmon: [appears at the top of Sandy's wilted tree] The boy is right! Why do you hurt your tree? The tree would never hurt you. [gets pricked by a splinter] Ouch! Dang splinters!
  • SpongeBob: Shalmon?
  • Sandy: Wait, you're the one who said I should feed my nuts to the people?
  • Shalmon: Indeed. But to feed so many from a single tree... Let me share with you a story. Long ago, before fish walked the seas, there lived in the sky one sun.
  • [As the Shalmon tells his story, the sun appears in the image of SpongeBob.]
  • Sun: [laughs]
  • Shalmon: One star.
  • [The star appears in the image of Patrick.]
  • Star: Hello!
  • Shalmon: And one moon.
  • [The moon appears in the image of Squidward.]
  • Moon: What the?
  • [In the story, the sun plays baseball with the star.]
  • Shalmon: During the day, the star would play with the sun.
  • [The star is seen chasing the moon.]
  • Shalmon: At night, the star would play with the moon.
  • Moon: Get away from me!
  • [The star spins the moon and throws him.]
  • Shalmon: The star did not want to let his friends down. But he alone could not keep up with both the sun and the moon.
  • [The star is seen sleeping as the sun circles around him. The star sleeps on top of the sun but is burned. The sun goes back up in the sky as it changes to night.]
  • Moon: Finally. Some peace.
  • Shalmon: That is when the star had an idea.
  • [The star wakes up, buffs up and explodes into millions of stars.]
  • Moon: Hmm? Hmm? Ahh! [sees multiple stars] Oh no. There goes the neighborhood.
  • [The stars chase the moon.]
  • Shalmon: By creating many copies, the star was able to keep the sun and moon happy without wearing himself out. Do you understand why I tell you this tale?
  • [The Shalmon sees Sandy, SpongeBob and Patrick sleeping below, meaning that they fell asleep during his story.]
  • Shalmon: Hello? Wake up!
  • [Sandy, SpongeBob and Patrick wake up.]
  • Patrick: [angry] I didn't know there was gonna be a test!
  • Sandy: Oh, I got so wrapped up in not letting anyone down that I asked too much of my tree and my friends.
  • Shalmon: Perhaps with many trees, you can continue serving your community in a natural and sustainable manner. [thinks for a second] I mean pretty much anything is better than this mess! Yeesh!
  • Sandy: Thanks, Shammy. But I'm a one tree kind of squirrel. I'm gonna do what I should've done in the first place. Order the ole' girl some nutritious new dirt from Texas!
  • [The scene changes to Sandy reviving the tree with some new fertilizer from Texas while SpongeBob and Patrick help her. The Shalmon is watching outside from Sandy's treedome.]
  • Shalmon: Well, my work here is done. It's time I return to my people.
  • [A bus drives up and the Shalmon enters it.]
  • Shalmon: Let me offer some sage advice. You must listen to the earth and the stars, for only they can guide you!... To my stop at the corner of Olive and Victory.
  • Nat Peterson: Sir, stand behind the white line please.
  • Shalmon: Typical. It never ends!
  • [The episode ends as the bus drives away.]

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