[the episode opens on a Breaking News announcement on the television]
Johnny Erain: Witnesses are flunking around the unveiling of Bikini Bottom's newest bank: The Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank.
Mayor:[cuts the ribbon] The first one hundred customers who joins Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank will receive instant interest on their deposit.
[the view shifts to the Krusty Krab with Mr. Krabs spitting soda at the television screen
Mr. Krabs: "Instant interest"?! Well, that's practically giving money away! [runs to SpongeBob] SpongeBob! You're in charge while I run down to the Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank! I gotta get down there before they run out of dough! [runs very fast out of the Krusty Krab and into the Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank] Money, here I co... Huh? [looks around at all of the customers getting their money out and starts speaking gibberish]
Nancy Suzy Fish: Thanks for banking with Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank! [takes out money] And here's your instant interest. [gives the customer money]
[Mr. Krabs continues to speak in gibberish as he watches Pilar throwing bags of into the safe]"
Gus: Free moolah?! Just for joining?! Yes!
Mr. Krabs: I'M IN MONEY HEAVEN!!! [laughs]
Officer John:[talking on a walkie-talkie] Heads up! We got a live one...
Nancy Suzy Fish: Welcome to Bank of Bikini...
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, hi! I want to see all of your money!
Nancy Suzy Fish: Excuse me?
Mr. Krabs: Show me where the money lives! I'd bet you got a lot! [Nancy Suzy Fish presses a button] I'd like to see all of it! I'm a huge fan of money! [suddenly gets taken away by Nat Peterson and Officer John] H-Hey! Get your hands off... [gets kicked out of the Bank by Officer John and flies through the air][screams and lands on the ground] Anchovies...
[bubble transition to Mr. Krabs entering the Bank again but this time, wearing a mustache]
Mr. Krabs:[in a deep voice] Good day, madam! I would like to take a look at your safe, please!
Nancy Suzy Fish: Sure thing, sir...[presses the button again and Mr. Krabs is grabbed by Officer John and Nat again]
Mr. Krabs: Not again...[gets kicked out of the Bank again][screams and crashes into a cliff] Scallops!
[bubble transition to Mr. Krabs entering the Bank again disguised as a woman]
Mr. Krabs:[walks by Officer John and Nat Peterson, speaking in a feminine voice] Good day, gentlemen!
Officer John and Nat Peterson: Good day, ma'am!
Mr. Krabs:[walks up to Nancy Suzy Fish again] Hello, young missy!
Nancy Suzy Fish: Well, hello, ma'am. How can we help you today?
Mr. Krabs:[in his thoughts] So far so good...
Nancy Suzy Fish: Ma'am?
Mr. Krabs:[in his thoughts] They haven't thrown me out yet...
Nancy Suzy Fish: Ma'am? [Reaches over to the button and is preparing to press it]
Mr. Krabs:[in his thoughts] It's all coming together now...
Nancy Suzy Fish: Can I help you, ma'am? A withdraw? A transfer? Anything!? Free interest!?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes! I'll have that please!
Nancy Suzy Fish: Okay, but you'll have to make a deposit first.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, of course! [takes out a penny] Here's me prized penny deposit it into a new account!
Nancy Suzy Fish: Okay! I'll set it right up! [pulls out a drawer]
Mr. Krabs:[in his regular voice] WAIT!!! [back in his feminine voice] Uh, what you're doing? Penny doesn't want to be crammed in there with all those other coins. She wants a money condo of her own!
Nancy Suzy Fish: Okay. You want a safe deposit box then?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes! Penny will have one of those!
Nancy Suzy Fish: Uh, this way please. [leads Mr. Krabs to a bunch other safe deposit boxes. She then is about to open one of the boxes to put his penny in]
Mr. Krabs: Wait! Can it...have one moment with me penny? Alone?
Nancy Suzy Fish:[sighs] Make it quick. We're closing in five minutes. [walks off]
Mr. Krabs: Oh, penny...I'll miss...[sniffles and starts crying] It's inhuman I tell ya! Penny, penny...one last kiss goodbye. [gets into the safe deposit box and his female clothes falls to the ground. He goes back to using his regular voice.] It's just you and me now little penny! It's a wee bit cramped in here!
Nat Peterson:[walks by and notices the box open] Oh, well that looks secure...[closes the box and Mr. Krabs goes flying into the safe. Nat then locks the box] Were you people trained in a barn? [walks off]
Mr. Krabs: Gasp! This can't be true! [picks up some money and starts to sniff them. He then actually sniffs off the hair on one of them] Ti's true! I landed in money nirvan-er! [jumps up] Me wildest dreams finally come true! [laughs and lands in the pile of money. The scene changes over to the Krusty Krab]
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I'm done watering down the ketchup. Do you want me to...[looks and sees that Mr. Krabs isn't in his office] Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs? MR. KRABS!
Squidward: Would you pipe down!?
SpongeBob: Sorry, Squidward! I can't find Mr. Krabs and he said he'd be right back! I'm getting a little concerned...
Squidward: That's nice...and...interesting...
SpongeBob: I can't take it anymore! I'm gonna go look for him! [runs out of the Krusty Krab] Hold on, Krabs! I'm coming for ya! [walks near a Bus Stop] Mr. Krabs! [walks through an open field] Mr. Krabs! [walks past the Hospital] Mr. Krabs! [walks by the Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank] Mr. Krabs! [walks away and the scene changes back over to Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: Well, time to head home! [slides down a bunch of money] Whoo hoo! I hope to see each and every one of ya on the outside! [tries to climb up the hole and get out but the door is locked] Balmy! I'm locked in! [climbs back out the hole] I guess I'm trapped here all night! [jumps on a pile of money] With all of this moolah! Such much moolah... [grabs a bill and blows on it] I have no one to tell about it! Time to russel up me some friends!