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"Safe Deposit Krabs" (transcript)

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Transcript Information
Safe Deposit Krabs
General
Season №: 9
Episode №: 186a
Airdate: May 25, 2013
Chronology
Previous: "It Came from Goo Lagoon"
Next: "Plankton's Pet"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Safe Deposit Krabs" from season nine, which aired on May 25, 2013.

  • [the episode opens on a Breaking News announcement on the television]
  • Johnny Elaine: Witnesses are flunking around the unveiling of Bikini Bottom's newest bank: The Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank.
  • Mayor: [cuts the ribbon] The first one hundred customers who joins Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank will receive instant interest on their deposit.
  • [the view shifts to the Krusty Krab with Mr. Krabs spitting soda at the television screen
  • Mr. Krabs: "Instant interest"?! Well, that's practically giving money away! [runs to SpongeBob] SpongeBob! You're in charge while I run down to the Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank! I gotta get down there before they run out of dough! [runs very fast out of the Krusty Krab and into the Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank] Money, here I co... Huh? [looks around at all of the customers getting their money out and starts speaking gibberish]
  • Nancy Suzy Fish: Thanks for banking with Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank! [takes out money] And here's your instant interest. [gives the customer money]
  • [Mr. Krabs continues to speak in gibberish as he watches Pilar throwing bags of into the safe]"
  • Gus: Free moolah?! Just for joining?! Yes!
  • Mr. Krabs: I'M IN MONEY HEAVEN!!! [laughs]
  • Officer John: [talking on a walkie-talkie] Heads up! We got a live one...
  • Nancy Suzy Fish: Welcome to Bank of Bikini...
  • Mr. Krabs: Yeah, hi! I want to see all of your money!
  • Nancy Suzy Fish: Excuse me?
  • Mr. Krabs: Show me where the money lives! I'd bet you got a lot! [Nancy Suzy Fish presses a button] I'd like to see all of it! I'm a huge fan of money! [suddenly gets taken away by Nat Peterson and Officer John] H-Hey! Get your hands off... [gets kicked out of the Bank by Officer John and flies through the air] [screams and lands on the ground] Anchovies...
  • [bubble transition to Mr. Krabs entering the Bank again but this time, wearing a mustache]
  • Mr. Krabs: [in a deep voice] Good day, madam! I would like to take a look at your safe, please!
  • Nancy Suzy Fish: Sure thing, sir...[presses the button again and Mr. Krabs is grabbed by Officer John and Nat again]
  • Mr. Krabs: Not again...[gets kicked out of the Bank again] [screams and crashes into a cliff] Scallops!
  • [bubble transition to Mr. Krabs entering the Bank again disguised as a woman]
  • Mr. Krabs: [walks by Officer John and Nat Peterson, speaking in a feminine voice] Good day, gentlemen!
  • Officer John and Nat Peterson: Good day, ma'am!
  • Mr. Krabs: [walks up to Nancy Suzy Fish again] Hello, young missy!
  • Nancy Suzy Fish: Well, hello, ma'am. How can we help you today?
  • Mr. Krabs: [in his thoughts] So far so good...
  • Nancy Suzy Fish: Ma'am?
  • Mr. Krabs: [in his thoughts] They haven't thrown me out yet...
  • Nancy Suzy Fish: Ma'am? [Reaches over to the button and is preparing to press it]
  • Mr. Krabs: [in his thoughts] It's all coming together now...
  • Nancy Suzy Fish: Can I help you, ma'am? A withdraw? A transfer? Anything!? Free interest!?
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes! I'll have that please!
  • Nancy Suzy Fish: Okay, but you'll have to make a deposit first.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, of course! [takes out a penny] Here's me prized penny deposit it into a new account!
  • Nancy Suzy Fish: Okay! I'll set it right up! [pulls out a drawer]
  • Mr. Krabs: [in his regular voice] WAIT!!! [back in his feminine voice] Uh, what you're doing? Penny doesn't want to be crammed in there with all those other coins. She wants a money condo of her own!
  • Nancy Suzy Fish: Okay. You want a safe deposit box then?
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes! Penny will have one of those!
  • Nancy Suzy Fish: Uh, this way please. [leads Mr. Krabs to a bunch other safe deposit boxes. She then is about to open one of the boxes to put his penny in]
  • Mr. Krabs: Wait! Can it...have one moment with me penny? Alone?
  • Nancy Suzy Fish: [sighs] Make it quick. We're closing in five minutes. [walks off]
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, penny...I'll miss...[sniffles and starts crying] It's inhuman I tell ya! Penny, penny...one last kiss goodbye. [gets into the safe deposit box and his female clothes falls to the ground. He goes back to using his regular voice.] It's just you and me now little penny! It's a wee bit cramped in here!
  • Nat Peterson: [walks by and notices the box open] Oh, well that looks secure...[closes the box and Mr. Krabs goes flying into the safe. Nat then locks the box] Were you people trained in a barn? [walks off]
  • Mr. Krabs: Gasp! This can't be true! [picks up some money and starts to sniff them. He then actually sniffs off the hair on one of them] Ti's true! I landed in money nirvan-er! [jumps up] Me wildest dreams finally come true! [laughs and lands in the pile of money. The scene changes over to the Krusty Krab]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I'm done watering down the ketchup. Do you want me to...[looks and sees that Mr. Krabs isn't in his office] Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs? MR. KRABS!
  • Squidward: Would you pipe down!?
  • SpongeBob: Sorry, Squidward! I can't find Mr. Krabs and he said he'd be right back! I'm getting a little concerned...
  • Squidward: That's nice...and...interesting...
  • SpongeBob: I can't take it anymore! I'm gonna go look for him! [runs out of the Krusty Krab] Hold on, Krabs! I'm coming for ya! [walks near a Bus Stop] Mr. Krabs! [walks through an open field] Mr. Krabs! [walks past the Hospital] Mr. Krabs! [walks by the Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank] Mr. Krabs! [walks away and the scene changes back over to Mr. Krabs]
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, time to head home! [slides down a bunch of money] Whoo hoo! I hope to see each and every one of ya on the outside! [tries to climb up the hole and get out but the door is locked] Balmy! I'm locked in! [climbs back out the hole] I guess I'm trapped here all night! [jumps on a pile of money] With all of this moolah! Such much moolah... [grabs a bill and blows on it] I have no one to tell about it! Time to russel up me some friends!
  • [bubble transition to Mr. Krabs' house]
  • SpongeBob: [knocks on the door until Pearl opens it] Oh, hi Pearl! Is Mr. Krabs here?
  • Pearl: No.
  • SpongeBob: Pearl, I hate to be the one to tell you this but Mr. Krabs is missing!
  • Pearl: [sarcastically] Oh my gosh.
  • SpongeBob: No!
  • Pearl: Oh, my, gosh.
  • SpongeBob: Don't worry! I'll find him!
  • Pearl: [agitated] Oh my gosh! [hands SpongeBob her cell phone] Call him on my cell! [slams the door and the scene changes back over to the Bank]
  • Mr. Krabs: You look absolutely stunning tonight, Mrs. Greenback. Waiter! (snaps fingers) [speaks as waiter] Oui, oui, monsieur, what can I get you and zee lady tonight? [back to regular speaking] The lady would like to start with a million clams. A side of investments, and hold the taxes. I'll have the same. But with extra no taxes. Eh. Such a friendly fella. Good lookin' too. I'm almost gonna regret not giving him a tip. (cell phone rings) Hello?
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs? Are you okay?
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm fine boy! In fact, I'm dancing with a beautiful lady.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, that's nice.
  • Mr. Krabs: Yes, and she's made entirely out of money.
  • SpongeBob: What? Where are you?
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm locked in the bank vault, and having the time of me life. Oh, and I think I'm running out of oxygen, and it's making me lose me mind.
  • SpongeBob: I gotta save Mr. Krabs! (runs to Patrick's house) Patrick! Patrick, you gotta help me, buddy! I need to break into a bank! (Patrick stops drinking his water, gags, and spits it back on SpongeBob)
  • Patrick: What?!! SpongeBob SquarePants. We have been friends for a long time, and you've asked me to do some crazy things over the years. Breaking into a bank? (SpongeBob looks ashamed) Has to be the coolest!
  • Mr. Krabs: (at the bank) Ah. This is the life. (imagines a beach) Sun, sand, and surf. And of course. Mrs. Greenback by my side. What's that? Eh, don't start on me now. I'm sure this remote island has a food source! Krabs just hasn't found it yet, that's all. I'l just… eh. Heh heh. So hungry.
  • SpongeBob: (outside the bank) Coast is clear! What's the plan, buddy?
  • Patrick: Okay. First we climb up the walls (points up). Then, we slide down the chimney. And eat up all the milk and cookies they left out for us.
  • SpongeBob: Well, I don't see a chimney. But we could try getting in through a roof vent. If only we had a way to scale this wall.
  • Patrick: Luckily, I brought the bank breaking kit! Um. How about this? (holds out several shoelaces)
  • SpongeBob: A bunch of old shoelaces?
  • Patrick: It's as close as I'll ever get to having shoes.
  • SpongeBob: I wish we had something stronger. But this'll have to do. (throws shoelaces up, they catch a pipe, and hold. The shoelaces continue to untie, and SpongeBob jumps to catch each one)
  • Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! I got an idea! Let's use this grappling hook! (throws the grappling hook up, it catches. SpongeBob climbs up, while Patrick piggybacks. They tiptoe across the roof)
  • SpongeBob: This vent will surely lead us to Mr. Krabs!
  • Patrick: Let's get him! (the two jump into the vent, and bump all around the bank, then underground, and then through another building. They land on the ground in front of the bank.) COOL! Let's do that again!
  • SpongeBob: Not now, Patrick. We're running out of time. And more importantly, Mr. Krabs is running out of oxygen.
  • Mr. Krabs: (inside the imaginary island, it's on fire) Ohhh! So hungry! (stomach growls) Oh, why did I come to this uninhabbbbitable island? Why did I do it? Why did I say all that to Mrs. Greenback? I miss her… why isn't she? Miss Greenback! Where could she be? What have I done? (sees Greenback on the beach) Ms. Greenback! Oh, Ms. Greenback (picks her up) You're okay! I was so worried. (mumbles, and rubs Greenback. As he rubs, all the money composing Mrs. Greenback flies away) What's this?!! Ah! Little miss! What the Neptune?!! (sees money dragon) A slimy money dragon! You're not sucking away me fortune without a fight! (attacks, and comes bak to the real vault, shows he is attacking a a vacuum cleaner) Gimme back Mrs. Greenback you beast!
  • SpongeBob: (outside the front doors to the bank) Patrick, you ready?
  • Patrick: This lock won't know what hit it! (sticks screwdriver into the lock)
  • SpongeBob: Ah, careful Patrick. Use finesse.
  • Patrick: Oh, right! (pulls out a crowbar) I'll use the finesse. (swings, and SpongeBob ducks. Closed signs switches to open, and they fall through the doors to the foot of the bank manger)
  • Bank Manger: Good morning, gentlemen. (SpongeBob and Patrick scream)
  • Patrick: We've been rumbled! Run! Scatter! Scamper! Save yourself!
  • Bank Manger: What's all this about? (walks backwards to alarm button, SpongeBob pulls off ski mask.) May I help you with anything, sir?
  • SpongeBob: Ah. Yes, I need to make a withdrawal. I need to withdraw one Mister Krabs!
  • Bank Manager: I assure you, Mr. SquarePants, we've received no such deposit. (opens vault)
  • Mr. Krabs: I got you now, money sucker! That is it, you nimbrid! It's you, or me now! Just you and me! (wrestles the vacuum, and breaks it. Laughs evilly) I concurred the money dragon! It's history! Woo hoo!
  • Bank Manger: Security! (security throws them out) And don't forget your… eh… deposit (toses penny at Mr. Krabs)
  • Mr. Krabs: You know, boyo. Through this whole ordeal, I've learned a little something about greed. A little something about isolation. Heh. Even a little something about love. And you know what I realized through it all?
  • SpongeBob: That you can't put a price on freedom?
  • Mr. Krabs: Barnacles no, boy! I realized that they didn't pay intrest on me deposit! (shakes fist) Hey, you cheapskates! Gimme me intrest! (penny is thrown at Mr. Krabs) Well. What do you know? I doubled me money. (laughs until the episode ends)

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