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SpongeBob SquarePants

"SB-129" (transcript)

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SB-129
General
Season №: 1
Episode №: 14a
Airdate: December 31, 1999
Chronology
Previous: "I Was a Teenage Gary"
Next: "Karate Choppers"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "SB-129" from season one, which aired on December 31, 1999.

  • Voice: SB-129. [episode starts]
  • Narrator: Ahh, it is Sunday morning in Bikini Bottom, and it is about time for Squidward to practice his clarinet, so get your ear plugs ready.
  • Squidward: [kisses clarinet] I think I'll treat Bikini Bottom to some real music. [He gets ready to play his clarinet, and then SpongeBob's alarm clock goes off, sending Squidward's clarinet into his throat]
  • SpongeBob: Good morning, Squidward! Wanna go jellyfishing? [Squidward tries to yell but his clarinet sounds every time he tries to talk] Great! We'll be right over! [Squidward pulls the clarinet out of his throat. Door knocks are heard]
  • Squidward: I wonder who that could be. [Squidward opens the door]
  • SpongeBob: Ready to go?
  • Squidward: No, I'm not ready to go! [slams the door]
  • Patrick: He doesn't wanna play with us.
  • SpongeBob: No, Patrick, he's just not ready. [Squidward tries to play his clarinet but another knock at door] Ready now?
  • Squidward: No! [slams door. Then he goes back to try to play clarinet but another knock at door. Squidward gets angry]
  • SpongeBob: How about now?
  • Squidward: No! [slams door. Knock at door] Huh? [opens door]
  • SpongeBob: Now?
  • Squidward: No! [slams door. Knock at door and opens it]
  • SpongeBob: Now?
  • Squidward: No! [slams door then opens it]
  • SpongeBob: How about now?
  • Squidward: No! [slams door then opens it]
  • SpongeBob: Now?
  • Squidward: No! [slams door then opens it]
  • SpongeBob: Now?
  • Squidward: No! [slams door then opens it]
  • SpongeBob: Now?
  • Squidward: No! [slams door then opens it]
  • SpongeBob: Now?
  • Squidward: No! [slams door then opens it] No! [Notices they are both gone then he gets a tap on his shoulder] WHAT?!
  • SpongeBob: Ready yet?
  • Squidward: No, I'm not ready! I'll never be ready! Don't you get it?!
  • SpongeBob: Sure we do.
  • Squidward: What? [stammers] D'oh...! [shuts door and leaves house, then realizes he's outside. He then runs back to his door and knocks. SpongeBob opens it]
  • SpongeBob: Ready? [Squidward slaps himself in the face, and then pushes SpongeBob and Patrick out of his house]
  • Squidward: OUT!! Sheesh! Shouldn't you be at work today, SpongeBob?!
  • SpongeBob: I'd love to be at work today! But it's Sunday; the Krusty Krab is closed. [Squidward gets an idea]
  • Squidward: Hold on a second. I'll be right out. [closes door. Squidward tiptoes out the other way of his house to the Krusty Krab, and enters] Hello...? [silence] Ahh, alone at last. [tries to play his clarinet but SpongeBob & Patrick enter]
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: Squidward! Squidward! [Squidward runs into the kitchen as SpongeBob & Patrick come in the Krusty Krab and search for Squidward] Squidward! [Squidward runs into the freezer] Squidward! Oh, Squidward! [Squidward peeks out as SpongeBob & Patrick look for him] Squidward!
  • SpongeBob: Well, he's not here. I'll bet that eager-beaver's already down at Jellyfish Fields!
  • Squidward: A-ha! They're finally gone! [tries to open freezer but it's locked from the inside!] What the...? Locked?! Oh no! Oh, well, someone will realize I'm gone and come looking for me. I'll be out of here in no time.
  • Narrator: 2,000 years later...
  • [scene shows Squidward still inside the freezer, frozen; the hinges are rusty, and they fall off; the door falls with Squidward frozen behind it; SpongeTron flies past and then back to Squidward]
  • SpongeTron: Holy Krabby Patties! A frozen cephalopod! [SpongeTron grabs a chrome hammer; from the hammer comes a red laser, which melts the ice and hits Squidward's butt; Squidward screams]
  • Squidward: [trancelike] I'll be out of here in no time.
  • SpongeTron: Greetings, primitive.
  • Squidward: Sp... SpongeBob? Is that you?
  • SpongeTron: SpongeBob? No! [robot voice] I am SpongeTron. [normal voice] Welcome to the future!
  • Squidward: What?
  • SpongeTron: Welcome to the future!
  • Squidward: Uh, the future... [notices everything's chrome] Huh?! O-okay, uh, what's going on here? Why is everything... chrome?
  • SpongeTron: Everything is chrome in the future!
  • Squidward: Wha...? [stammers then runs to look outside a window] Oh, my... [notices the chrome environment] Impossible! He's lying! [flower pops up from underground, then a fish comes up to the flower and sprays it with chrome spray paint] He's right!
  • SpongeTron: Of course I'm right, Squidward. Just ask my clones: SpongeTrons X, Y, and Z.
  • Squidward: Are the other letters of the alphabet involved here?
  • SpongeTron: Sure! All 486 of them! [Squidward does a few sit-ups while he talks as if he is trying to wake up]
  • Squidward: Future! Future! Future! Future! [SpongeTron drops a brick on Squidward's head] Thanks. Now listen! All of you! I don't belong here. This is all a horrible mistake! Please, we've got to do something!
  • SpongeTrons X, Y, and Z: [pull out jellyfishing nets] Jellyfishing! [a two-headed Patrick appears out of nowhere]
  • Paton: Did somebody say "jellyfishing"?
  • SpongeTron: Hi, Paton!
  • Squidward: Just listen to me! I'm not supposed to be here! I've got to get home to my own time period! I've got to go!
  • SpongeTron: Well, why didn't you just ask? The time machine is down the hall, to the left. [Squidward runs to the door, laughs and enters, but we hear a can-opener being used. Squidward steps out and is torn into pieces] Oops! Oh, yeah, that one's the can opener... But, try the one on the right. [Squidward tries the door on the right and enters a room that has a slot looking machine that says "past" and "future"]
  • Squidward: Well, I wouldn't have chosen this interior... [notices time-travel handle] Oh, what's this? Well, if SpongeBob exists in the future, I better go to the past! [Squidward turns the key and puts the lever on "past." Siren goes off as time machine disappears from where it used to be in the Krusty Krab. The door and the wall fly through a hyperspace-like warp, then the time machine appears in a primitive Bikini Bottom. Squidward looks out and sees a primitive sea creature swim by. Whales calls can be heard] Wow, primitive. Has sort of an old-world charm. [a creature swims by really close to Squidward's face] Whoa! I guess this is before manners were invented! Well, at least there's no sign of SpongeBrat. Maybe now I can finally be alone with my clarinet. [hears a noise, turns around but some shadow quickly hides. Hears another noise and checks again but a different shadow hides] Huh? [one of the shadow figures swings from tree to tree] Huh, what? [a shadow figure hides behind a tree] Huh? [the other shadow figure hides behind a ledge. Squidward keeps walking and then notices a Prehistoric Sponge on the ground] SpongeBob? [Primate Sponge screams] Stay back! [Primate Sponge touches Squidwards arm and then sniffs his finger from what he touched. Tries to give some to Squidward] Uh, no thanks. [Squidward feels someone breathing on him and he turns and notices a Prehistoric Starfish breathing on him. Prehistoric Starfish smiles and has nasty, rotten teeth] Uh, hi there. Well, I better be going now. [Prehistoric Sponge grabs Squidwards tentacle] Yes, that's my arm. [Prehistoric Sponge puts Squidward's arm on his head and prehistoric Starfish licks Squidwards hand] Oh, that's sweet. [Prehistoric Starfish gets scared] What, is it time for your flea bath now? [a jellyfish swims by and Prehistoric Starfish ducks for protection] Oh, look, its just a little jellyfish. [Primate Sponge & Prehistoric Starfish run around screaming] Well, I'm going away now. [Squidward walks away] Ah, here's a nice, shady spot, away from those fools! [Squidward plays his clarinet and each time he tries to play, Primate Sponge or Prehistoric Starfish holler, who are each giving a turn at holding the jellyfish] What are you simpletons doing?! You're supposed to catch these things, not torture yourself with them! [Primate Sponge and Prehistoric Starfish are confused] Give me those loincloths! [Primate Sponge and Prehistoric Starfish tear off a piece of their loincloth] I can't believe it. [mumbles to self] This oughta make things go a little smoother! [gives Primate Sponge and Prehistoric Starfish their nets. They put the nets on their lips. Squidward grabs the nets back] Give me those things! You're supposed to catch them, like this! [Squidward catches the jellyfish in one of the loincloth nets] It's called jellyfishing. [Primate SpongeBob and Prehistoric Starfish grab the nets and chase the jellyfish] Ah, finally. [sits on the ground and plays his clarinet. Primate Sponge and Prehistoric Starfish hear it and go insane and chase Squidward. Squidward runs into the time machine as Primate Sponge and Prehistoric Starfish try to get in by climbing on top of it] [screams] Get me outta here! [moves the lever up and down really fast and breaks it] Uh-oh. [the word FUTURE spins like a slot machine, and stops on 2 lemons and a "BAR"]
  • Time Machine: Loser! [Primate Sponge & Prehistoric Starfish are banging on the time machine trying to get to Squidward until it disappears into thin-air. The time machine shakes from the inside, with Squidward scared. The camera zooms in, with a "paint" effect, then camera is on Squidward's face, and a color change effect goes off. The screen flashes white, and the machine goes through all sorts of dimensions, with one with a computer-like area, then the screen does a color change effect again, with the time machine folding like paper, and it vanishes with a zap sound. Squidward appears in a blank, white space. He walks around, and hears a strange voice. He then notices some colored tiles and lifts one up and it floats and vanishes]
  • Squidward: He's not here. No more SpongeBob. No more! I may finally have found a place where I can be all... [Squidward becomes tiny] ...alone. [a bunch of "alone" sayings appear with a different voice as each comes up]
  • Voices: Alone! Alone! Alone!
  • Squidward: I gotta get outta of here! [Squidward tries to run but he runs off and on the scene. He stops and tries to catch his breath. A strange voice is heard again, he holds his head, sweats a little, and runs again off and on the scene. He stops running after 3 tries to get out, yet another strange voice is heard when he stops] Where's the time machine?! Where's anything? Where, where, where, where?! [jumps up and down angrily and busts a hole through the ground into the time machine. The handle is still broken off. Squidward bangs on the broken controls] I wanna go home! I wanna go home! I wanna go home! I wanna go home! I miss Bikini Bottom! I miss my Easter Island head! I even miss SpongeBob! [right when Squidward says "SpongeBob", the time machine disappears and reappears in present time Bikini Bottom where SpongeBob & Patrick are still waiting for Squidward in front of his house] SpongeBob! Patrick!
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: Hi, Squidward.
  • Squidward: Oh, I'm back! I can't believe this. I-I-I was in space, a-and I went to the future, and-and then I went to the past, and-and then-then I was nowhere, but now I'm back, and-and... you don't know how happy I am to see you guys.
  • SpongeBob: Does this mean you wanna go...
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: Jellyfishing?
  • Squidward: NO!! D'oh! Who's the barnacle head who invented that game anyway?
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: You are, Squidward! [They laugh as the scene cuts to the little island on the surface]
  • Squidward: I'm going back.

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