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{{L|''[Pan across Goo Lagoon]''}}
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|title = Ripped Pants
  
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|titlecard = RippedPantsTitleCard.png
  
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|seasonnumber = 1
  
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|episodenumber = 2b
  
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|airdate = [[July 17]], [[1999]]
  
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}}
  
⚫
{{L|''[pan across Goo Lagoon]''}}
  
 
{{L|Narrator|Ah, Goo Lagoon. A stinky mud puddle to you and me. But to the inhabitants of Bikini Bottom, a wonderful, stinky mud puddle. ''[SpongeBob and Sandy sit enjoying the beach. SpongeBob sighs]''}}
  
{{L|Narrator|Ah, Goo Lagoon. A stinky mud puddle to you and me. But to the inhabitants of Bikini Bottom, a wonderful, stinky mud puddle. ''[SpongeBob and Sandy sit enjoying the beach. SpongeBob sighs]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|What a great day. ''[he runs off]'' Hey Sandy! Look! ''[he is now covered in a mound of sand]'' I'm Sandy! ''[Sandy laughs. SpongeBob forms sand around his head and nose to look like Squidward and imitates his voice]'' Hey Sandy, who am I? ''[Sandy still laughs]'' ''[SpongeBob picks up a sand phone]'' Hello SpongeBob. Could you keep it down? I'm trying to be boring. ''[Sandy continues laughing]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|What a great day. ''[he runs off]'' Hey, Sandy! Look! ''[he is now covered in a mound of sand]'' I'm Sandy! ''[Sandy laughs. SpongeBob forms sand around his head and nose to look like Squidward and imitates his voice]'' Hey Sandy, who am I? ''[Sandy still laughs. SpongeBob picks up a sand phone]'' Hello, SpongeBob. Could you keep it down? I'm trying to be boring. ''[Sandy continues laughing]''}}
 
{{L|Sandy|SpongeBob! ''[a doorbell rings, SpongeBob walks in carrying sand pizza boxes and wearing a sand hat]''}}
  
{{L|Sandy|SpongeBob! ''[a doorbell rings, SpongeBob walks in carrying sand pizza boxes and wearing a sand hat]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Did anyone order twenty pepperoni and sand pizzas? ''[SpongeBob and Sandy laugh together. Larry walks up]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Did anyone order twenty pepperoni and sand pizzas? ''[SpongeBob and Sandy laugh together. Larry walks up]''}}
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{{L|Larry|Hey Sandy. Hey SpongeBob.}}
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{{L|Larry|Hey, Sandy. Hey, SpongeBob.}}
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{{L|Sandy|Hey Larry.}}
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{{L|Sandy|Hey, Larry.}}
 
{{L|Larry|You guys wanna go lift some weights?}}
  
{{L|Larry|You guys wanna go lift some weights?}}
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{{L|Sandy|Sure. ''[she and Larry walk off]'' Well come on, SpongeBob. ''[SpongeBobs sand pizzas fall flat as he walks on dejectedly]''}}
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{{L|Sandy|Sure. ''[she and Larry walk off]'' Well come on, SpongeBob. ''[SpongeBob's sand pizzas fall flat as he walks on dejectedly]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|''[disappointingly]'' Coming. ''[cut to a group of weightlifters, each grunting as they work out. Larry turns to Sandy]''}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[disappointingly]'' Coming. ''[Cut to a group of weightlifters, each grunting as they work out. Larry turns to Sandy]''}}
 
{{L|Larry|Give it a try, Sandy. ''[Sandy stands in front of a weight. She picks it up, grunting as she does so. The crowd cheers for her, and she throws the weight down]''}}
  
{{L|Larry|Give it a try, Sandy. ''[Sandy stands in front of a weight. She picks it up, grunting as she does so. The crowd cheers for her, and she throws the weight down]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Good job, Sandy. Well, that's about enough for today, don't you think? ''[SpongeBob tries to walk off]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Good job, Sandy. Well, that's about enough for today, don't you think? ''[SpongeBob tries to walk off]''}}
 
{{L|Larry|How about a little more weight? ''[Larry bends down to pick up a weight heavier than Sandy's]'' Observe. ''[Larry grunts as he picks it up, his eyes bulging, and veins stick out from his neck. The crowd cheers, and Larry throws the weight down]''}}
  
{{L|Larry|How about a little more weight? ''[Larry bends down to pick up a weight heavier than Sandy's]'' Observe. ''[Larry grunts as he picks it up, his eyes bulging, and veins stick out from his neck. The crowd cheers, and Larry throws the weight down]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Alright, stand back everyone. ''[SpongeBob picks up a single twig from the ground. The crowd is silent. He sinks into the sand. Sandy walks to a weight]''}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|All right, stand back, everyone. ''[SpongeBob picks up a single twig from the ground. The crowd is silent. He sinks into the sand. Sandy walks to a weight]''}}
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{{L|Sandy|Y'all watch this! ''[Sandy picks up an anchor weight. The crowd cheers for her, but stop when they realize Larry has lifted the spectator stands]'' Way to go Larry! ''[SpongeBob burrows into the sand, and tunnels over to a fish picnicking next to a marshmallow sack]''}}
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{{L|Sandy|Y'all watch this! ''[Sandy picks up an anchor weight. The crowd cheers for her, but stop when they realize Larry has lifted the spectator stands]'' Way to go, Larry! ''[SpongeBob burrows into the sand, and tunnels over to a fish picnicking next to a marshmallow sack]''}}
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Could I borrow a couple of these?}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Could I borrow a couple of these? ''[the fish murmurs something through his marshmallow-filled mouth. SpongeBob takes two marshmallows and places them on the twig]'' And now, with the addition of two, count em, two marshmallows. ''[SpongeBob preps himself for his lift, inhales deeply, takes hold of the twig, and is unable to lift it. The crowd isn't moved. He tries again. And again. After a huge effort, SpongeBob hears a rip. He looks down and notices that hes ripped his pants. The crowd gasps, then laughs at SpongeBob. SpongeBob scuttles off, embarrassed. Scooter walks over, laughing]''}}
 +
{{L|Fish|''[through his marshmallow-filled mouth]'' Mm-hmm. ''[crams another marshmallow into his mouth. SpongeBob takes two marshmallows and places them on the twig]'' And now, with the addition of two, count 'em, two marshmallows. ''[SpongeBob preps himself for his lift, inhales deeply, takes hold of the twig, and is unable to lift it. The crowd isn't moved. He tries again. And again. After a huge effort, SpongeBob hears a rip. He looks down and notices that he's ripped his pants. The crowd gasps, then laughs at SpongeBob. SpongeBob scuttles off, embarrassed. Scooter walks over, laughing]''}}
 
{{L|Scooter|THAT was too funny. ''[he slaps SpongeBob on the back]'' YOU are hilarious!}}
  
{{L|Scooter|THAT was too funny. ''[he slaps SpongeBob on the back]'' YOU are hilarious!}}
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{{L|Sandy|Aint he the funniest little Sponge you ever saw? ''[SpongeBob grins widely. Cut to Larry]''}}
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{{L|Sandy|Ain't he the funniest little Sponge you ever saw? ''[SpongeBob grins widely. Cut to Larry]''}}
 
{{L|Larry|Anybody up for some volleyball? ''[the ball volleys back and forth, until Larry spikes it into some fish and the crowd cheers for him. SpongeBob looks at him in contempt. A fish serves the ball and as Larry is about to hit it, SpongeBob interferes]''}}
  
{{L|Larry|Anybody up for some volleyball? ''[the ball volleys back and forth, until Larry spikes it into some fish and the crowd cheers for him. SpongeBob looks at him in contempt. A fish serves the ball and as Larry is about to hit it, SpongeBob interferes]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I got it! ''[the ball falls and SpongeBob tries to serve it]'' Incoming! ''[the serve misses and the crowd boos. He bends down to pick the ball up and rips his pants]'' Oops, I guess I ripped my pants again! ''[the crowd laughs. Scooter walks in laughing again]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|I got it! ''[the ball falls and SpongeBob tries to serve it]'' Incoming! ''[the serve misses and the crowd boos. He bends down to pick the ball up and rips his pants]'' Oops, I guess I ripped my pants again! ''[the crowd laughs. Scooter walks in laughing again]''}}
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{{L|Scooter|Once again dude, ''[he slaps SpongeBob on the back]'' YOU have split my sides! ''[he continues to laugh. Cut to a Frisbee. Larry catches it and throws it to Sandy]''}}
 +
{{L|Scooter|Once again, dude, ''[he slaps SpongeBob on the back]'' YOU have split my sides! ''[he continues to laugh. Cut to a Frisbee. Larry catches it and throws it to Sandy]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Hey Sandy, how about throwing it to me?}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Hey, Sandy, how about throwing it to me?}}
 
{{L|Sandy|OK, here it comes! ''[SpongeBob stands still and lets the Frisbee hit him on the head, knocking him over]''}}
  
{{L|Sandy|OK, here it comes! ''[SpongeBob stands still and lets the Frisbee hit him on the head, knocking him over]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|I could use a hand here! ''[he laughs. Sandy walks over and helps him up]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|I could use a hand here! ''[he laughs. Sandy walks over and helps him up]''}}
Line 34: Line 29:
 
{{L|Scooter|You still got it, dude! ''[he slaps SpongeBob on the back again. Cut to SpongeBob and Sandy walking to an ice cream vendor]''}}
  
{{L|Scooter|You still got it, dude! ''[he slaps SpongeBob on the back again. Cut to SpongeBob and Sandy walking to an ice cream vendor]''}}
 
{{L|Lou Vendor|May I help you?}}
  
{{L|Lou Vendor|May I help you?}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Ill take a banana split.}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|I'll take a banana split.}}
 
{{L|Lou|Uh, we don't have that.}}
  
{{L|Lou|Uh, we don't have that.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|That's okay. I already split my pants! Get it? ''[Sandy giggles]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|That's okay. I already split my pants! Get it? ''[Sandy giggles]''}}
 
{{L|Lou|''[annoyed]'' Tee-hee. Anything else?}}
  
{{L|Lou|''[annoyed]'' Tee-hee. Anything else?}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|How about ripple? ''[he does so, Sandy giggles again]'' No thanks, already got one! ''[Sandy drops laughing and SpongeBob happily bounces off to a snack bar. SpongeBob runs up to Harold, knocking his drink over]'' Is that a burger youre eating?}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|How about ripple? ''[he does so, Sandy giggles again]'' No, thanks, already got one! ''[Sandy drops laughing and SpongeBob happily bounces off to a snack bar. SpongeBob runs up to Harold, knocking his drink over]'' Is that a burger you're eating?}}
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{{L|Harold|Why, yes it is.}}
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{{L|Harold|Why, yes, it is.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|You know what would go good with that?}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|You know what would go good with that?}}
 
{{L|Harold|No, what?}}
  
{{L|Harold|No, what?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[whispers]'' Ripped... pants. ''[SpongeBob smiles widely and shows the annoyed Harold his ripped pants. SpongeBob then runs around the snack bar, laughing. He comes up in-between two fish]'' Ripped pants a la mode! ''[he rips his pants, the fish are annoyed. Cut to SpongeBob being in the kitchen of the snack bar, next to the fry cook]'' Delivery! Did you order twenty cases of ripped pants? ''[SpongeBob shoves his behind through the box, revealing his ripped pants. He laughs. The fry cook groans disgustedly. Cut to a broadcasting booth over looking the lagoon]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[whispers]'' Ripped... pants. ''[SpongeBob smiles widely and shows the annoyed Harold his ripped pants. SpongeBob then runs around the snack bar, laughing. He comes up in-between two fish]'' Ripped pants a la mode! ''[he rips his pants, the fish are annoyed. Cut to SpongeBob being in the kitchen of the snack bar, next to the fry cook]'' Delivery! Did you order twenty cases of ripped pants? ''[SpongeBob shoves his behind through the box, revealing his ripped pants. He laughs. The fry cook groans disgustedly. Cut to a broadcasting booth over looking the lagoon]''}}
−
{{L|Perch Perkins|Surfs up in the Goo Lagoon. ''[fish are surfing. Close-up of the Perkins]'' And here comes Larry, doing his trademark lay-back. ''[cut to Larry lying on his surfboard]'' There goes Sandy, hanging ten... fingers, that is. ''[cut to Sandy doing a handstand on her surfboard]'' There goes SpongeBob... ''[rip]'' ripping his pants again. ''[Perkins is annoyed, then cut to SpongeBob ripping his pants on his surfboard. A wave knocks SpongeBob off his surfboard and washes him up on the beach]'' }}
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{{L|Perch Perkins|Surf's up in the Goo Lagoon. ''[fish are surfing. Close-up of Perch Perkins]'' And here comes Larry, doing his trademark lay-back. ''[cut to Larry lying on his surfboard]'' There goes Sandy, hanging ten... fingers, that is. ''[cut to Sandy doing a handstand on her surfboard]'' There goes SpongeBob... ''[rip]'' ripping his pants again. ''[Perch Perkins is annoyed, then cut to SpongeBob ripping his pants on his surfboard. A wave knocks SpongeBob off his surfboard and washes him up on the beach]''}}
−
{{L|Lifeguard|Hey, look! A cardboard box washed up on the beach. ''[he takes a closer look through his telescope]'' Holy fish paste! Its a guy! ''[he sprints over to SpongeBob and flips him over]'' Why?! WHY?! WHHHHHYYYY?!!!!!!! ''[a crowd gathers around SpongeBob and the lifeguard]''}}
 +
{{L|Lifeguard|Hey, look! A cardboard box washed up on the beach. ''[he takes a closer look through his telescope]'' Holy fish paste! It's a guy! ''[he sprints over to SpongeBob and flips him over]'' Why?! WHY?! WHHHHHYYYY?!!!!!!! ''[a crowd gathers around SpongeBob and the lifeguard]''}}
 
{{L|Sandy|SpongeBob!}}
  
{{L|Sandy|SpongeBob!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[to lifeguard]'' Come closer. ''[a divine light shines on him]'' I need... I need...}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[to lifeguard]'' Come closer. ''[a divine light shines on him]'' I need... I need...}}
−
{{L|Lifeguard|What do you need? ''[tears come to the lifeguards and Sandy's eyes]''}}
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{{L|Lifeguard|What do you need? ''[tears come to the lifeguard's and Sandy's eyes]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[pats the lifeguard on the shoulder. Close up of SpongeBob's mouth]'' A tailor. ''[the light turns off, accompanied by a light switch]'' Because I ripped my pants! ''[he laughs. The lifeguard takes a serious face, drops SpongeBob, and the crowd surrounding him walks off, angrily. SpongeBob is left alone and Sandy walks up to him]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[pats the lifeguard on the shoulder. Close up of SpongeBob's mouth]'' A tailor. ''[the light turns off, accompanied by a light switch]'' Because I ripped my pants! ''[he laughs. The lifeguard takes a serious face, drops SpongeBob, and the crowd surrounding him walks off, angrily. SpongeBob is left alone and Sandy walks up to him]''}}
 
{{L|Sandy|That wasn't funny, SpongeBob! Y'all had me worried sick! ''[she walks off. Scooter walks towards SpongeBob and looks at him sadly]''}}
  
{{L|Sandy|That wasn't funny, SpongeBob! Y'all had me worried sick! ''[she walks off. Scooter walks towards SpongeBob and looks at him sadly]''}}
 
{{L|Scooter|Dude... ''[he walks off. Cut to a dressing tent, with SpongeBob inside]''}}
  
{{L|Scooter|Dude... ''[he walks off. Cut to a dressing tent, with SpongeBob inside]''}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|''[thinking]'' Come on, SpongeBob, you're losing them! Think! Your public's waiting. ''[speaking]'' Lets see... ''[checking them off a list]'' "Lifting weights - big laugh," "Frisbee in face - kills," "Surfing - knocks em dead," "Pretending to drown," ''[he uses his pencil to write the word "NO" and circle it]'' NO. Come on, think! I got it! Hey everybody! ''[he runs out of the dressing tent]'' Not ripped pants! ''[he tears his pants off]'' Pants ripped off. Huh? Someone call the police. There's a pants thief on the loose! ''[the wind howls, SpongeBob standing alone on the beach. A tumbleweed rolls by. SpongeBob turns and hears party music at a distance, and sees Larry and Sandy playing volleyball]'' Oh no, everybody's gone, even Sandy. She’d rather hang out with Larry! Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. ''[SpongeBob lies on the beach]'' We blew it, pants.}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[thinking]'' Come on, SpongeBob, you're losing them! Think! Your public's waiting. ''[speaking]'' Let's see... ''[checking them off a list]'' "Lifting weights - big laugh," "Frisbee in face - kills," "Surfing - knocks 'em dead," "Pretending to drown," ''[he uses his pencil to write the word "NO" and circle it]'' NO. Come on, think! I got it! Hey, everybody! ''[he runs out of the dressing tent]'' Not ripped pants! ''[he tears his pants off]'' Pants ripped off. Huh? Someone call the police. There's a pants thief on the loose! ''[the wind howls, SpongeBob standing alone on the beach. A tumbleweed rolls by. SpongeBob turns and hears party music at a distance, and sees Larry and Sandy playing volleyball]'' Oh, no, everybody's gone, even Sandy. She'd rather hang out with Larry! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. ''[SpongeBob lies on the beach]'' We blew it, pants.}}
 
{{L|Pants|What do you mean, "we"? ''[the pants walk off, leaving SpongeBob alone]''}}
  
{{L|Pants|What do you mean, "we"? ''[the pants walk off, leaving SpongeBob alone]''}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, I didn't have to be a fool to get Sandy's attention. AM I THE BIGGEST LOSER ON THE BEACH?! ''[Millie walks up to SpongeBob, shining red]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, I didn't have to be a fool to get Sandy's attention. Am I the biggest loser on the beach?! ''[Millie walks up to SpongeBob, shining red]''}}
 
{{L|Millie|No, I am. I forgot to put on sunscreen. ''[she places a fin on herself, and it leaves a sounding mark, which vanishes]''}}
  
{{L|Millie|No, I am. I forgot to put on sunscreen. ''[she places a fin on herself, and it leaves a sounding mark, which vanishes]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Ouch. ''[a fish walks up to the two]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Ouch. ''[a fish walks up to the two]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|I lost my best friend.}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|I lost my best friend.}}
 
{{L|All|How? ''[SpongeBob grabs a sand guitar and sings]''}}
  
{{L|All|How? ''[SpongeBob grabs a sand guitar and sings]''}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|When I ripped...''[rip]'' my pants. ''[he starts to sing]'' I thought that I had everybody by my side, but I went and blew it all sky-high, and now she won't even spare a passing glance, all just because I ''[rip]'' ripped my pants. ''[the other three "losers of the beach" assemble on a sand stage with sand instruments and sing]''}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|When I ripped... ''[rip]'' my pants. ''[he starts to sing]'' I thought that I had everybody by my side, but I went and blew it all sky-high, and now she won't even spare a passing glance, all just because I ''[rip]'' ripped my pants. ''[the other three "losers of the beach" assemble on a sand stage with sand instruments and sing]''}}
−
{{L|All|♪When big Larry came round just to put him down, SpongeBob turned into a clown, and no girl ever wants to dance with a fool who went and ''[rip]'' ripped his pants♪.}}
 +
{{L|All|♪When big Larry came round just to put him down, SpongeBob turned into a clown, and no girl ever wants to dance with a fool who went and ''[rip]'' ripped his pants.♪}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|''[singing voice, a crowd begins to gather]'' ♪I know I shouldn't mope around, I shouldn't curse, but the pain feels so much worse...cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun than a burn from the sun...♪}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[singing voice, a crowd begins to gather]'' ♪I know I shouldn't mope around, I shouldn't curse, but the pain feels so much worse... cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun than a burn from the sun...♪}}
 
{{L|All|♪Or sand in your buns!♪ ''[instrumental break, then the curtain shows waves crashing about]''}}
  
{{L|All|♪Or sand in your buns!♪ ''[instrumental break, then the curtain shows waves crashing about]''}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|♪Now I learned a lesson I won't soon forget...so listen and you won't regret. Be true to yourself; don't miss your chance...and you wont end up like the fool...who...ripped...his...pants!♪. ''[the whole group comes together one by one in sync with the music]'' ''[rips their pants. By now, a huge crowd has gathered and is cheering the group onstage]''. ''[A blimp flies by with SpongeBob's name on it]''}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|♪Now I learned a lesson I won't soon forget...so listen and you won't regret. Be true to yourself; don't miss your chance...and you won't end up like the fool...who...ripped...his...pants!♪ ''[the whole group comes together one by one in sync with the music and rip their pants. By now, a huge crowd has gathered and is cheering the group onstage. A blimp flies by with SpongeBob's name on it]''}}
 
{{L|Sandy|SpongeBob!}}
  
{{L|Sandy|SpongeBob!}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|Sandy! ''[she jumps on onstage and hugs SpongeBob]''}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|Sandy! ''[she jumps onstage and hugs SpongeBob]''}}
 
{{L|Sandy|Your song is true. If y'all want to be my friend, just be yourself. ''[Larry walks up]''}}
  
{{L|Sandy|Your song is true. If y'all want to be my friend, just be yourself. ''[Larry walks up]''}}
 
{{L|Larry|SpongeBob, that was so righteous. Would you... sign my pants?}}
  
{{L|Larry|SpongeBob, that was so righteous. Would you... sign my pants?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Absolutely, buddy. ''[SpongeBob bends down to sign Larry's pants. His underpants rip off, leaving SpongeBob nude. Someone off-screen whistles]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Absolutely, buddy. ''[SpongeBob bends down to sign Larry's pants. His underpants rip off, leaving SpongeBob nude. Someone off-screen whistles]''}}
−
[[Category:Episode transcripts]]
  

Revision as of 18:58, 1 September 2014

Template:EpisodeTr/2b

  • [Pan across Goo Lagoon]
  • Narrator: Ah, Goo Lagoon. A stinky mud puddle to you and me. But to the inhabitants of Bikini Bottom, a wonderful, stinky mud puddle. [SpongeBob and Sandy sit enjoying the beach. SpongeBob sighs]
  • SpongeBob: What a great day. [he runs off] Hey, Sandy! Look! [he is now covered in a mound of sand] I'm Sandy! [Sandy laughs. SpongeBob forms sand around his head and nose to look like Squidward and imitates his voice] Hey Sandy, who am I? [Sandy still laughs. SpongeBob picks up a sand phone] Hello, SpongeBob. Could you keep it down? I'm trying to be boring. [Sandy continues laughing]
  • Sandy: SpongeBob! [a doorbell rings, SpongeBob walks in carrying sand pizza boxes and wearing a sand hat]
  • SpongeBob: Did anyone order twenty pepperoni and sand pizzas? [SpongeBob and Sandy laugh together. Larry walks up]
  • Larry: Hey, Sandy. Hey, SpongeBob.
  • Sandy: Hey, Larry.
  • Larry: You guys wanna go lift some weights?
  • Sandy: Sure. [she and Larry walk off] Well come on, SpongeBob. [SpongeBob's sand pizzas fall flat as he walks on dejectedly]
  • SpongeBob: [disappointingly] Coming. [Cut to a group of weightlifters, each grunting as they work out. Larry turns to Sandy]
  • Larry: Give it a try, Sandy. [Sandy stands in front of a weight. She picks it up, grunting as she does so. The crowd cheers for her, and she throws the weight down]
  • SpongeBob: Good job, Sandy. Well, that's about enough for today, don't you think? [SpongeBob tries to walk off]
  • Larry: How about a little more weight? [Larry bends down to pick up a weight heavier than Sandy's] Observe. [Larry grunts as he picks it up, his eyes bulging, and veins stick out from his neck. The crowd cheers, and Larry throws the weight down]
  • SpongeBob: All right, stand back, everyone. [SpongeBob picks up a single twig from the ground. The crowd is silent. He sinks into the sand. Sandy walks to a weight]
  • Sandy: Y'all watch this! [Sandy picks up an anchor weight. The crowd cheers for her, but stop when they realize Larry has lifted the spectator stands] Way to go, Larry! [SpongeBob burrows into the sand, and tunnels over to a fish picnicking next to a marshmallow sack]
  • SpongeBob: Could I borrow a couple of these?
  • Fish: [through his marshmallow-filled mouth] Mm-hmm. [crams another marshmallow into his mouth. SpongeBob takes two marshmallows and places them on the twig] And now, with the addition of two, count 'em, two marshmallows. [SpongeBob preps himself for his lift, inhales deeply, takes hold of the twig, and is unable to lift it. The crowd isn't moved. He tries again. And again. After a huge effort, SpongeBob hears a rip. He looks down and notices that he's ripped his pants. The crowd gasps, then laughs at SpongeBob. SpongeBob scuttles off, embarrassed. Scooter walks over, laughing]
  • Scooter: THAT was too funny. [he slaps SpongeBob on the back] YOU are hilarious!
  • Sandy: Ain't he the funniest little Sponge you ever saw? [SpongeBob grins widely. Cut to Larry]
  • Larry: Anybody up for some volleyball? [the ball volleys back and forth, until Larry spikes it into some fish and the crowd cheers for him. SpongeBob looks at him in contempt. A fish serves the ball and as Larry is about to hit it, SpongeBob interferes]
  • SpongeBob: I got it! [the ball falls and SpongeBob tries to serve it] Incoming! [the serve misses and the crowd boos. He bends down to pick the ball up and rips his pants] Oops, I guess I ripped my pants again! [the crowd laughs. Scooter walks in laughing again]
  • Scooter: Once again, dude, [he slaps SpongeBob on the back] YOU have split my sides! [he continues to laugh. Cut to a Frisbee. Larry catches it and throws it to Sandy]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Sandy, how about throwing it to me?
  • Sandy: OK, here it comes! [SpongeBob stands still and lets the Frisbee hit him on the head, knocking him over]
  • SpongeBob: I could use a hand here! [he laughs. Sandy walks over and helps him up]
  • Sandy: You okay, SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: I guess so... [he does a handstand, revealing his pants] ...except I ripped my pants! [the crowd laughs, and Scooter walks up to SpongeBob once again]
  • Scooter: You still got it, dude! [he slaps SpongeBob on the back again. Cut to SpongeBob and Sandy walking to an ice cream vendor]
  • Lou Vendor: May I help you?
  • SpongeBob: I'll take a banana split.
  • Lou: Uh, we don't have that.
  • SpongeBob: That's okay. I already split my pants! Get it? [Sandy giggles]
  • Lou: [annoyed] Tee-hee. Anything else?
  • SpongeBob: How about ripple? [he does so, Sandy giggles again] No, thanks, already got one! [Sandy drops laughing and SpongeBob happily bounces off to a snack bar. SpongeBob runs up to Harold, knocking his drink over] Is that a burger you're eating?
  • Harold: Why, yes, it is.
  • SpongeBob: You know what would go good with that?
  • Harold: No, what?
  • SpongeBob: [whispers] Ripped... pants. [SpongeBob smiles widely and shows the annoyed Harold his ripped pants. SpongeBob then runs around the snack bar, laughing. He comes up in-between two fish] Ripped pants a la mode! [he rips his pants, the fish are annoyed. Cut to SpongeBob being in the kitchen of the snack bar, next to the fry cook] Delivery! Did you order twenty cases of ripped pants? [SpongeBob shoves his behind through the box, revealing his ripped pants. He laughs. The fry cook groans disgustedly. Cut to a broadcasting booth over looking the lagoon]
  • Perch Perkins: Surf's up in the Goo Lagoon. [fish are surfing. Close-up of Perch Perkins] And here comes Larry, doing his trademark lay-back. [cut to Larry lying on his surfboard] There goes Sandy, hanging ten... fingers, that is. [cut to Sandy doing a handstand on her surfboard] There goes SpongeBob... [rip] ripping his pants again. [Perch Perkins is annoyed, then cut to SpongeBob ripping his pants on his surfboard. A wave knocks SpongeBob off his surfboard and washes him up on the beach]
  • Lifeguard: Hey, look! A cardboard box washed up on the beach. [he takes a closer look through his telescope] Holy fish paste! It's a guy! [he sprints over to SpongeBob and flips him over] Why?! WHY?! WHHHHHYYYY?!!!!!!! [a crowd gathers around SpongeBob and the lifeguard]
  • Sandy: SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: [to lifeguard] Come closer. [a divine light shines on him] I need... I need...
  • Lifeguard: What do you need? [tears come to the lifeguard's and Sandy's eyes]
  • SpongeBob: [pats the lifeguard on the shoulder. Close up of SpongeBob's mouth] A tailor. [the light turns off, accompanied by a light switch] Because I ripped my pants! [he laughs. The lifeguard takes a serious face, drops SpongeBob, and the crowd surrounding him walks off, angrily. SpongeBob is left alone and Sandy walks up to him]
  • Sandy: That wasn't funny, SpongeBob! Y'all had me worried sick! [she walks off. Scooter walks towards SpongeBob and looks at him sadly]
  • Scooter: Dude... [he walks off. Cut to a dressing tent, with SpongeBob inside]
  • SpongeBob: [thinking] Come on, SpongeBob, you're losing them! Think! Your public's waiting. [speaking] Let's see... [checking them off a list] "Lifting weights - big laugh," "Frisbee in face - kills," "Surfing - knocks 'em dead," "Pretending to drown," [he uses his pencil to write the word "NO" and circle it] NO. Come on, think! I got it! Hey, everybody! [he runs out of the dressing tent] Not ripped pants! [he tears his pants off] Pants ripped off. Huh? Someone call the police. There's a pants thief on the loose! [the wind howls, SpongeBob standing alone on the beach. A tumbleweed rolls by. SpongeBob turns and hears party music at a distance, and sees Larry and Sandy playing volleyball] Oh, no, everybody's gone, even Sandy. She'd rather hang out with Larry! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. [SpongeBob lies on the beach] We blew it, pants.
  • Pants: What do you mean, "we"? [the pants walk off, leaving SpongeBob alone]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, I didn't have to be a fool to get Sandy's attention. Am I the biggest loser on the beach?! [Millie walks up to SpongeBob, shining red]
  • Millie: No, I am. I forgot to put on sunscreen. [she places a fin on herself, and it leaves a sounding mark, which vanishes]
  • SpongeBob: Ouch. [a fish walks up to the two]
  • Fish: No, I am. I got sand in my buns. [he shows them two sandy hamburger buns. There is a rumbling coming from the sand and a whale pops his head out of the sand]
  • Whale: No, I'm the biggest loser on the beach. They buried me in the sand and forgot me.
  • All: What happened to you?
  • SpongeBob: I lost my best friend.
  • All: How? [SpongeBob grabs a sand guitar and sings]
  • SpongeBob: When I ripped... [rip] my pants. [he starts to sing] I thought that I had everybody by my side, but I went and blew it all sky-high, and now she won't even spare a passing glance, all just because I [rip] ripped my pants. [the other three "losers of the beach" assemble on a sand stage with sand instruments and sing]
  • All: ♪When big Larry came round just to put him down, SpongeBob turned into a clown, and no girl ever wants to dance with a fool who went and [rip] ripped his pants.♪
  • SpongeBob: [singing voice, a crowd begins to gather] ♪I know I shouldn't mope around, I shouldn't curse, but the pain feels so much worse... cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun than a burn from the sun...♪
  • All: ♪Or sand in your buns!♪ [instrumental break, then the curtain shows waves crashing about]
  • SpongeBob: ♪Now I learned a lesson I won't soon forget...so listen and you won't regret. Be true to yourself; don't miss your chance...and you won't end up like the fool...who...ripped...his...pants!♪ [the whole group comes together one by one in sync with the music and rip their pants. By now, a huge crowd has gathered and is cheering the group onstage. A blimp flies by with SpongeBob's name on it]
  • Sandy: SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Sandy! [she jumps onstage and hugs SpongeBob]
  • Sandy: Your song is true. If y'all want to be my friend, just be yourself. [Larry walks up]
  • Larry: SpongeBob, that was so righteous. Would you... sign my pants?
  • SpongeBob: Absolutely, buddy. [SpongeBob bends down to sign Larry's pants. His underpants rip off, leaving SpongeBob nude. Someone off-screen whistles]
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