Plankton's Special Sinister Commentary/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants special, "Plankton's Special Sinister Commentary". You can find it on the SpongeBob SquarePants Vs. The Big One DVD, which came out on March 3, 2009.

• Plankton: Well, here it is, the Krusty Krab. The reasons of my nightmare and despair. Yep, it's SpongeBob SquareHead, my least favorite idiot. [Spongebob sweats] Yuck. [Shows up Squidward] Blecch, it's that squiddy thing with the tentacles. That guy is creeping me out. Will you look at that 2 loafers? Disgusting. I tell you, [Climbs the chair] I never been to the Krusty Krab, [Bounces] Open 24 hours a day, 7 days or weeks for the holidays in during disasters. [Show up Krabs] KRABS!!! UGH, How I hate you. I bet he never hears me and I get the peace of my mind, brother and I throw my mind into my brain because I get the Krabby Patty Formula for sure. He keeps it in the safe, you know. Show us the safe! SHOW US THE SAFE!!! [Shows melted shoes] Yeah, they won't show you that. that's a big secret.
• Squidward: The fan stopped--
• (Cuts to the beach)
• Plankton: The BEACH?! (Moans) I hate this already. Nobody goes to the beach anymore. Eeh, I'm Eugene Krabs, Listen to that yammering about that when you get the stunts... [Shows Krabby Patty] OOH! A Krabby Patty! I should be recording this-- Where did I put that camera? Oh, no, I'M MISSING IT!!! Once again, foiled by my own brain. Thanks a lot, brain, you really came through!
• Squidward: I told you.
• Sandy: YEEEEEEE...
• SpongeBob: Wha?
• Sandy: EEEEEEEE.....
• Plankton: Oh, yeah get to the talking squirrel thing. This is not entertainment. Go back to the krabby patty! GO BACK NOW OR I'LL DESTROY THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY!!! Nobody listens to me.
• Mr. Krabs: ...Get off me wave!
• Sandy: Cowabunga! (Surfs away)
• Squidward: What next?
• Plankton: [Jumps patrick over the water] AAAHH!!! A SHARK!!! Pink shark? Oh, it's Patrick, the idiot best friend with that idiot SpongeBob who works with that idiot Krabs from the idiot Krusty Krab with that idiot safe... And the idiot secret formula waiting for idiot me to TAKE IT! Well, that don't work.
• Spongebob: That's a good one, Patrick! "On Board!" WHOA-WHOA-WHOA!!!
• Mr. Krabs: Careful!
• Plankton: [Evil Laugh] Yeah, Capsize them. Look at that seastar, he got it on his face. Like 1 time.
• Patrick: EEEEEEEEE...
• Plankton: [Evil Laugh] CHAOS!!! DESTRUCTION AND SCREAMING just like mom used to make. [Evil Laugh] LOVE IT!!!
• [Cuts to Island]
• Plankton: Well, for a matter of fact, here comes the hippies. [SpongeBob dragging seaweed from the ground making square] The nerve of that sponge dragging the poor seaweed under the ground. It might get infections, too, you know.
• Twitch: Hey there, home dads.
• SpongeBob: Huh?
• Twitch: Welcome to...
• Plankton: Beach-combing, long-haired dimwits.
• Twitch: ..Kimoswabey, Island. Although we are prefer to as... Island.
• Plankton: Boy, this story's kepping dumber and dumber, and they will never do.
• Twitch: ..ways.
• Awesome Eddy: And waves.
• Twitch: Mysterious waves.
• All: Om.....
• Patrick: Om.....
• Plankton: Om, I wish I have the Krabby Patty again, om..
• Twitch: This is Awesome Eddy...
• [Cuts to wave]
• All: AAAHH!!! [Almost nailed by those boards]
• Plankton: Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! Look at that. Het almost got nailed by those boards. This is funny, i'm gonna write that down. "Nailed, by, those, boards." And I am gonna write a joke book full of zingers, stingers and headlines. It's called "Plankton's Punch Lines." Watch this. "If someone slips on a banana peel, Wouldn't that be more a-peeling?" [Laugh] That's funny, anyways. That's called a PUNCH! That kind a wise-cracking me up a bit so I can get to the Krabby Patty. Speaking of which, How come they have a Krabby Patty in a while-- WHAT'S THE HOLD UP?! [Squidward's suprised face. Big G Coughs before A Eddy says "What's that?" then Big G coughs again.] Hey, that's not funny at all, this guy is sick.
• Awesome Eddy: Oh, no. There's no way, dude. He'd never do it.
• Plankton: This guy needs a doctor because he get an infection. In fact, they have germs all over me, I can feel it. And now i'm sick.
• SpongeBob: Who?
• [Cuts to Jack Kahuna Laguna (JKL)]
• Plankton: GOOD HEAVENS, WHO'S THAT?! Because there's a weirdo behind it. All we have is another idiot is getting more scream time than the rest. WHEN DOES IT END?!
• SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, O Great One, so we may get back home?\
• Plankton: That guy's a peace of work.
• Patrick: Um...
• Squidward: Look, surf boy! Are you gonna teach us how to surf, or do we have to stand there and stare--
• Plankton: Exactly! You tell him, octopus, You're wasting my time! He's wasting my time, too.