Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
Register
Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
No edit summary
No edit summary
(46 intermediate revisions by 16 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
  +
{{EpisodeTr/58b}}
{{BTranscript
 
  +
{{L|''[scene opens up on a shot of the Krusty Krab]''}}
|prev = Missing Identity
 
  +
{{L|Narrator|Ah, the Krusty Krab. Home of the delicious Krabby Patty and its super-secret recipe. ''[Mr. Krabs appears]''}}
|title = Plankton's Army
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Attention, Krusty Krab crew! All hands report immediately!}}
|next = The Sponge Who Could Fly
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[runs up]'' Fry cook SpongeBob reporting, sir!}}
|titlecard = Plankton's Army.jpg
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|''[wakes from behind the cash register; yawns]'' What's all the yelling about?}}
|season = 3
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Today is the 25th anniversary of the first time me arch-enemy Plankton ever tried to steal me secret Krabby Patty formula. ''[scene flashes back to Mr. Krabs and Plankton]''}}
|episode = 58b
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|Can I have the secret formula?}}
|airdate = [[January 19]], [[2004]]
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|No.}}
|seasonname = three
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|Okay. ''[walks away]''}}
}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[voiceover]'' But he was persistent!}}
(scene opens up on a shot of the Krusty Krap)
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|''[comes back]'' Pretty please?}}
Narrator: Ahhhhh shit, the Krusty Krap. This place blows. Home of the conspicuous Krappy Patty and its super-secret recipe (shit).
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Uh-uh. ''[scene cuts to Plankton holding a costume behind his back]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|He used disguises! ''[Plankton laughs and pulls a cockroach costume over himself; Mr. Krabs' leg squishes him]'' Super science! ''[Plankton drips a droplet of chemical into a test tube and drinks it; he is surrounded in a pink cloud and appears as a cockroach; Mr. Krabs' leg squishes him]'' Civil disobedience! ''[Plankton is marching, holding a picket sign that states "I am not a roach"; Mr. Krabs' leg squishes him; scene cuts back to the Krusty Krab with Squidward, SpongeBob, and Mr. Krabs]'' And I always came out on top!}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|''[sarcastically]'' Fascinating.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|But thousands of failures have made him crafty, so keep your eyes open! ''[Mr. Krabs' eyes bulge out, and he moves them right to left]'' You'll never know what trick he'll use to steal me secret Krabby Patty formula.}}
(Mr. Krap appears)
 
  +
{{L|Robot|''[walks into the Krusty Krab, speaks in robotic voice]'' What a quaint restaurant. I think I will sample their wares.}}
Mr. Krap: Attention, Krusty Krap laborers! All dickheads report immediately! That means you, Squidward.
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Ooh, how weird! A machine made to look like a customer.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|SpongeBob. Why don't you go hose out the men's room?}}
 
SpongeBob: (runs up) Shit cook SpongeBob reporting, sir!
+
{{L|SpongeBob|With pleasure, sir!}}
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[moves Squidward out of the way]'' I'll take this one. ''[to the robot]'' Welcome to the Krusty Krab, sir. May I help you?}}
 
  +
{{L|Robot|Yes please. I'd like an order of chili coral bits.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[loses fake grin he had]'' You sure you don't want a Krabby Patty?}}
Squidward: (wakes from behind the cash register, a Playboy magazine is stuck to his face; yawns) What's all the yelling about?
 
  +
{{L|Robot|No thank you. ''[holds up dollar bill]'' Will this cover it?}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Uh, sure. ''[grabs dollar and hands the robot a paper bag]'' Here you go.}}
 
  +
{{L|Robot|''[takes the bag and walks toward the door; using green laser beams, it melts the doorway and walks through]'' Good day.}}
Mr. Krabs: Today is the 0.25th anniversary of the first time me arch-enemy Plankton ever tried to steal me secret Krappy Patty shit.
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Hm. I was sure it was one of Plankton's tricks. Well, at least his money's good. ''[laughs; the dollar bill center pops open and Plankton jumps out]''}}
(scene flashes back to Mr. Krap and Plankton)
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|AH-HAH!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Plankton! You knew I would never distrust a dollar!}}
 
Plankton: Can I have the shit you call a secret formula?
+
{{L|Plankton|That's right, Krabs. Now hand over the secret Krabby Patty formula!}}
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Or what?}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|...I don't know. I never thought I'd get this far.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well then, allow me to suggest your next move. ''[scene cuts to a toilet being flushed; Plankton screams as he swirls around in the water]''}}
Mr. Krap: No.
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|Curse you, Kra-a-abs! ''[he disappears into the hole]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[laughs]'' And now for the chaser! ''[scene cuts to manhole outside of the Chum Bucket; Plankton pops up out of the manhole, gasping for breath; he jumps out]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|You just wait, Krabs! Next time I'll... ah, who am I kidding? At least I can go home to a wife who understands. ''[scene cuts to inside the Chum Bucket]''}}
Plankton: Okay. (walks away)
 
  +
{{L|Karen|So? Tell me what happened.}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|I don't want to talk about it.}}
 
  +
{{L|Karen|Talking will make you feel better.}}
Mr. Krap: (voiceover) But he was persistent!
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|Leave me alone.}}
 
  +
{{L|Karen|That's your problem. You never let anyone in. Plankton the rock, Plankton the loner...}}
 
Plankton: (comes back) Can I at least fuck you?
+
{{L|Plankton|And she's off, ladies and gentlemen.}}
  +
{{L|Karen|...and that's why everything you try ends up like this... ''[Karen's screen shows Plankton laughing, about to pull a lever; Mr. Krabs' steps on him and squashes him]'' and like this... ''[Karen's screen shows Plankton laughing, holding a rubber duck over his head; Mr. Krabs' once again steps on Plankton, squishing him]'' and more recently, like this. ''[Karen's screen shows a toilet with a flushing noise. On the video Plankton screams in the toilet]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|''[whimpering, starts bawling]'' I'm a failure!}}
 
  +
{{L|Karen|It's not that bad! You just require a little help. Maybe some henchmen...}}
Mr. Krabs: Uh-uh.
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|Henchmen?}}
 
  +
{{L|Karen|Yes, what you need to do is surround yourself with muscular tough guys who'll do whatever you say.}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|I like the sound of that. I'll canvas all the seediest lowbrow dives in town to find my minions. And I know just how to speak their language! ''[scene cuts to a dim club with muscular tough guys playing pool; Plankton stands at the door]'' Felicitations, malefactors! I am endeavoring to misappropriate the formulary for the preparation of affordable comestibles! Who will join me!?}}
Plankton: Ah shit.
 
  +
{{L|''[The tough guys step on Plankton; scene cuts to Plankton sitting in a wheelchair in the Chum Bucket with a cast and bandages]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|I don't get it. No matter what I do, I always end up being squashed by someone bigger than me.}}
(scene cuts to Plankton holding a costume for his dick)
 
  +
{{L|Karen|Oh, come on. I think you're overreacting. ''[as Karen talks, a robotic hand comes out of a panel and pats Plankton, then squishes him]'' Sorry.}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|That's okay. I'm no different than the millions of other Plankton in the sea. ''[while Plankton talks, he "assembles" himself together, sticking his eye on, putting his arm in the socket, and matching his legs which are labeled "left leg" and "right leg" in their appropriate sockets]'' The Plankton family has always been pushed around and stepped on. Wait! That's it! Acting alone, we're powerless, but united, the Plankton family could be a real pain in the fanny! ''[he appears with a phone book and slams it on the ground]'' Krabs may think one Plankton is no problem, but let's see him take on two, or ten, or a hundred, or a thousand! ''[scene cuts to Plankton "dialing" a number, which is him jumping on the buttons; cuts to Plankton running from the receiver of the phone to the speaker; cuts to Plankton writing a letter to a family member; cuts to Plankton running with his tongue moistening the adhesive on an envelope; cuts to Plankton in a red airplane, skywriting "CALLING ALL PLANKTON", but a fish sitting on a bench sneezes and blows away the skywriting; cuts to a montage of differently dressed Plankton]'' But why stop there? I'll gather every family member from every corner of the ocean. The entire Plankton family under one roof! Krabs won't stand a chance against the staggering intellect of a million super-smart criminal masterminds! ''[doorbell rings]'' THEY'RE HERE! Welcome, brethren! ''[Plankton runs to the door and opens it with a big grin, which quickly fades into a look of disgust and disbelief; he sees a huge group of hick, redneck family members playing music; one of them begins to speak]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Clem|''[hick drawl]'' Hey, look everybody! It's cousin Plankton!}}
Mr. Krap: He used disguises! (Plankton laughs and pulls a cock costume over himself; Mr. Krap masturbates with it) Super science! (Plankton drips a droplet of lube onto his dick and jacks off with it; he is surrounded in jizz and appears as a cock covered in jizz; Mr. Krap does fellatio on it) Civil disobedience! (Plankton is marching, holding a picket sign that states "I am horny"; Mr. Krap finally fucks him; scene cuts back to the Krusty Krap with Squidward, SpongeBob, and Mr. Krap) And I always came first!
 
  +
{{L|All|YEE-HAW!}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|I've been away from home longer than I thought. ''[Clem runs up and shakes Plankton's hand]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Clem|''[hick drawl]'' Well, howdy, cousin! ''[Plankton stares at his hand, which is dripping after his cousin shook it]''}}
Squidward: (sarcastically) Fascinating.
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|Uh...}}
 
  +
{{L|Clem|It's me, Clem. O' course, you remember Zeke, Rufus, Jeke, Billy Bob, Billy Jim, Billy Billy Bo Willy Banana Fana Fo Filly, Doug, Enos... ''[Clem continues introducing the rest of the family; Plankton is crawling on the ground]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|ALL RIGHT! I GET IT! I mean, uh, come inside. Make yourself at home. ''[scene cuts to the family inside the Chum Bucket, standing in front of Karen]'' I'd like you to meet my computer wife, Karen.}}
Mr. Krabs: But thousands of failures have made him crafty, so keep your eyes open! (Mr. Krap's pants bulge out, and he moves it right to left) You'll never know what ambushing position he'll use to steal me secret virginity.
 
  +
{{L|Clem|''[whistles from the back of the group]'' Golly, she sure is purdy, Sheldon.}}
 
  +
{{L|Karen|Sheldon?!}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|''[annoyed]'' Yes, that's my first name. ''[Karen cracks up; Plankton keeps an angry face]''}}
Robot: (walks into the Krusty Krap, speaks in robotic voice) What a queer restaurant. I think I will sample their wares.
 
  +
{{L|Karen|Sheldon? ''[laughing]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|''[still has an annoyed face]'' Will you please-!}}
 
  +
{{L|Karen|''[still laughing]'' Sorry!}}
SpongeBob: Ooh, how weird! A sex machine made to look like a customer.
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|All right, as I was saying... ''[Karen starts laughing]'' Okay, we all know Sheldon's a funny name.}}
 
  +
{{L|Karen|''[laughing]'' Okay, okay. I'm done. No more.}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|Good. Ahem, to continue. ''[turns away from Karen; he doesn't see the screen that she brings down behind him; the word "SHELDON" appears on the screen]'' Only you can bring honor... ''[the family laughs; Plankton turns around to look at the screen; it is blank]'' ...and dignity... ''[the word "SHELDON" with a finger pointing at Plankton appears; the group laughs, and Plankton turns to look at the screen, which is now blank]'' ...back to the Plankton name. ''[as soon as Plankton speaks, another "SHELDON" sign appears with an arrow pointing at Plankton; he turns around to look at the screen and is trembling with fury; as he starts to speak, another "SHELDON" sign appears]'' For years, it has been my goal to acquire the secret formula for... ''[Plankton turns around and points at the sign]'' AHA! ''[he runs to the outlet and unplugs it]'' OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH! ''[Karen says "Sheldon!" one last time before losing power; Plankton runs in front of Karen's screen]'' Bottom line: we invade the Krusty Krab so I can steal the secret formula. What do you think?}}
Mr. Krap: SpongeBob. Why don't you go hose out the mens' dicks?
 
  +
{{L|Family Member 1|But what's in it for us? ''[the family roars in agreement]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|Well, what do you want?}}
 
  +
{{L|Family Member 2|Gawrsh. Can I get a new string for my banjo? ''[holds up a banjo with one string]''}}
SpongeBob: With pleasure, sir!
 
  +
{{L|Family Member 3|And another boot to match this'n? ''[holds up foot with a boot on it]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Family Member 4|''[holds up laptop]'' And some more memory for my laptop!}}
 
  +
{{L|Clem|And what about root beer?}}
Mr. Krap: (moves Squidward out of the way) I'll take this one. (to the robot) Welcome to the Krusty Krap, sir. May I help you? (mumbbling) ...for a fuck and 2 bucks.
 
  +
{{L|All|ROOT BEER?!?!?}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|Help me get the secret formula and you can have as much root beer as you can drink! ''[the group cheers]'' Victory, thy name is Plankton! ''[Plankton turns to face the cheering crowd; on his back is a note taped on with the word "Sheldon" . scene cuts to the Krusty Krab; Squidward and Mr. Krabs are at the register]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, Mr. Squidward, it's almost closing time, and we haven't seen eye or antennae of ol' Plankton for hours. Yes, sir, I think this time, he's finally given up for...}}
Robot: Yes please. I'd like an order of your mom's pussy.
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|''[over megaphone]'' Attention Krusty Krab management! This is your better speaking.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|What?! ''[Plankton is standing outside the Krusty Krab with a megaphone]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|''[over megaphone]'' I have the restaurant surrounded. Give me the secret formula or I'll destroy the Krusty Krab! ''[Mr. Krabs and Squidward run outside to Plankton]''}}
Mr. Krap: (loses fake boner he had on) You sure you don't want a Krappy Patty?
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Ah, you and what army, bug?}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|What army? What army?! Look around you, Krabs! ''[scene pans out to show the Krusty Krab surrounded by something green]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|You planted grass?}}
Robot: No thank you. (holds up Monopoly dollar bill) Will this cover it?
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|GRASS?!? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ''[Plankton continues laughing as his family joins him.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Uh-oh. ''[Mr. Krabs and Squidward run into the Krusty Krab with the Plankton family behind them; and a blackout, within the Krusty Krab are shaking and thudding noises, as if in a fight; scene cuts to Mr. Krabs' face]'' You'll never get away with it, Plankton. ''[Mr. Krabs is in the toilet, with only his head exposed, surrounded by Plankton]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|You're right. The pipes are much too narrow. Besides, what I really want is the Krabby Patty formula.}}
Mr. Krabs: Uh, sure. (grabs dollar and hands the robot a large laundry bag) Here you go.
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, you might as well forget it. The formula is locked away in me safe, and I'll never give ya the combination. ''[laughs]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|Silence! ''[Plankton jumps on the flushing lever and sends Mr. Krabs spinning around]'' I think you'll find we're more than capable of figuring it out for ourselves. Oh, boys? ''[Plankton snaps his finger and his family assembles into a giant human hand and ear; they twist the lock, figuring out the combination]'' That's it, a little to the left...}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Curse you Plankton, and your ability to join together to form a working human ear! ''[the family opens the safe and inside is the secret formula in a bottle]''}}
Robot: (takes the bag and walks toward the door; using green laser beams, it melts the doorway and walks through) Good day.
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|Hot dog! ''[Plankton hops up the stairs to the formula]'' Yes. It's mine! The formula's mine. After all these years, it's finally mine! ''[Plankton pulls the cork from the bottle and smells it as if it were champagne; he pulls the formula out of the bottle]'' Let it be known that on this day, I, Sheldon J. Plankton, single-handedly overthrew the Krusty Krab!}}
 
  +
{{L|Family|''[variously]'' AHEM.}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|Eh, and, of course, I had a little help from the family. ''[goes back to Mr. Krabs, who is still stuck in the toilet]''}}
Mr. Krap: Hm. I was sure it was one of Plankton's tricks. Well, at least his money's goo- WTF IS THIS FAKE SHIT?!? THAT MOTHERFUCKER!!!. (the dollar bill center pops open and Plankton is seen jacking off, but quickly jumps out)
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Plankton, wait. You can't look at the formula.}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|Begging won't help.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I'm telling you, you won't be able to handle the truth. There are some things in this world that weren't meant for mortal eyes.}}
Plankton: AH-HAH!
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|Eye.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Eye.}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|I don't care. Drum roll please! ''[Plankton rolls himself a snare drum roll on the snare drum, then runs to Mr. Krabs' office, where a book labeled "Recipe for a Krabby Patty" sits on Mr. Krabs' desk and cymbal crash is heard]'' Finally, after all these years, I'm about to find out what makes a Krabby Patty taste so good. ''[opens book]'' The secret recipe for one Krabby Patty is... a pinch of salt...!}}
Mr. Krap: Plankton! You knew I would never distrust a dollar! But this shit? You've gone too far!
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Plankton! Wait!}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|''[turns page]'' ...Three teaspoons of chopped onions...!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I'm warning ya...!}}
Plankton: That's right, Krabs. Now hand over the secret shi- Krappy Patty formula!
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|''[turns page]'' ...A cup of love...!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Don't do it!}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|...mixed together with the most important ingredient of all... four heaping pounds of freshly ground...! ''[turns page]'' ...Plankton?!? ''[Plankton stares wide eyed at the formula and looks at Mr. Krabs]''}}
Mr. Krap: Or what, you faggot?
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I warned ya.}}
 
  +
{{L|Plankton|''[running all the way back to the Chum Bucket]'' AAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!}}
 
  +
{{L|''[Back in the Krusty Krab, the book falls on the ground and the family reads the recipe and gasps; they all run screaming while Mr. Krabs laughs, except for Clem]''}}
Plankton: ....I don't know. I never thought I'd get this far.
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Hey, why ain't you running?}}
 
  +
{{L|Clem|Well, I can't read.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Get out of here! ''[Clem runs away laughing goofy while Mr. Krabs gets himself out of the toilet; Squidward rubs his head and comes out of the toilet as well; SpongeBob arrives]''}}
Mr. Krap: Well then, allow me to suggest your next move. (scene cuts to a toilet being flushed; Plankton screams as he swirls around in the water)
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey guys. Did I miss anything? ''[Squidward picks up the formula]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Mr. Krabs, is this really the secret ingredient for the Krabby Patty?}}
YEAOOOOOOOOWWW!
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Of course not! And Plankton will probably figure that out and be back again to find out what the real formula is. But don't worry, boys, the formula's safe from harm. I got it hidden in me most secret hiding place, a place no one, not even Plankton, would ever figure out. ''[Mr. Krabs starts laughing and hopping up and down]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Let me guess. It's at home, under your mattress.}}
Plankton: Curse you, Kra-a-ailp! (he disappears in the pipes)
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[gasps and runs to his house, screaming]'' Curse you, Squidward! ''[cut to black]''}}
 
 
Mr. Krap: (laughs) And now for the chaser! (scene cuts to manhole outside of the Cum Bucket; Plankton pops up out of the manhole, gasping for breath; he jumps out)
 
 
 
Plankton: You just wait, Krap! Next time I'll.... ah, who am I kidding? At least I can go home to a wife who understands. (scene cuts to inside the Cum Bucket)
 
 
 
 
(Plankton is seeing playing Sims 2)
 
 
Plankton: So, perfect wife, how was your day? Good? So was mine, you know, being CEO of the LGBT and all...
 
 
 
Karen: Plankton! I'm your wife! Not that slutty cyberwoman! Failure again, huh?
 
 
 
Plankton: I don't want to talk about it.
 
 
 
Karen: Talking will make you feel better.
 
 
 
Plankton: Leave me alone.
 
 
 
Karen: That's your problem. You never let anyone in you. Plankton the cock, Plankton the boner....
 
 
 
Plankton: And she's off, ladies and gentlemen.
 
 
 
Karen: ....and that's why everything you try ends up like this.... (Karen's screen shows Plankton laughing, about to pull a lever; Mr. Krap fucks him) and like this.... (Karen's screen shows Plankton laughing, holding a rubber dildo over his head; Mr. Krap fucks him) and more recently, like this. (Karen's screen shows a toilet with a flushing noise, simultaneously, "LMAO" flashes on the screen)
 
 
(On the video plankton screams in the toilet)
 
 
 
Plankton: (whimpering, starts bawling) I'm a failure!
 
 
 
Karen: Yes, you are! I don't believe it. He finally admitted it! PLANKTON ADMITS HIS FAILURE!
 
 
Plankton: Ok, "wife", are you just going to sit there and demotivate me even more, or help me out? (whispers) ...bitch.
 
 
Karen: Hmm...well a blunder like you should probably get some henchmen.
 
 
 
Plankton: Henchmen?
 
 
 
Karen: Yes, what you need to do is surround yourself with muscular tough guys who'll do whatever the fuck you inpolitely demand.
 
 
 
Plankton: I like the sound of that. I'll canvas all the seediest lowbrow dives in town to find my minions. And I know just how to speak their language! (scene cuts to Guy Ferry at the Cum Bucket, talking like a douche and simultaneously scarfing down Cum Burgers; Plankton walks up to him) Sup, ya lousy douche! I know how much of a douche you are, and I was thinking, maybe you could distract some people? Just long enough so that I can steal the Krappy Patty fomula and fuck Mr. Krap.
 
 
Guy Ferry: Deal! Just give me more Cum Burgers!
 
 
(at the Krusty Krap. Plankton tries to sneak past Krap, but is detected)
 
 
Mr. Krap: What do you think your doing?
 
 
Plankton: Umm...
 
 
(shows front door, Plankton shouting)
 
 
Plankton: Guy? GUY FERRY?!? Umm...Guy Fietti? Goddammit.
 
 
(shows Mr. Krap and Plankton again)
 
 
Plankton: Could you give me a moment?
 
 
Mr. Krap: I don't think so.
 
 
(Mr. Krap stepps on plankton, then cums on him)
 
 
(scene cuts to Plankton sitting in a wheelchair in the Cum Bucket with a cast and bandages)
 
 
WHELLCHAIRED PLANKTON: I don't get it. No matter what I do, I always end up being squashed by someone "bigger" than me.
 
 
 
Karen: Oh, come on. I think you're overreacting. (as Karen talks, a robotic hand comes out of a panel and pats Plankton, then squashes him) Sorry.
 
 
 
Plankton: That's okay. I'm no different than the millions of other Plankton in the sea. (while Plankton talks, he "assembles" himself together, sticking his eye on, putting his arm in the socket, matching his legs which are labeled "left leg" and "right leg" in their appropriate sockets, but worringly looks for his penis. He goes to a closet filled with boxes marked "MICROSCOPIC DILDOS". He takes a dildo, paints it green, and glues it onto his crotch) The Plankton family has always been fucked around and jizzed & pissed on. Wait! That's it! Acting alone, we're powerless, but united, the Plankton family could be a real pain in the balls! (he appears with a phone book and slams it on the ground) Krap may think one Plankton is no problem, but let's see him take on two, or ten, or a hundred, or a thousand! (scene cuts to Plankton "dialing" a number, which is him jumping on the buttons; cuts to Plankton running from the receiver of the phone to the speaker; cuts to Plankton writing a letter to a family member; cuts to Plankton running with his tongue moistening the adhesive on an envelope; cuts to Plankton in a red airplane, skywriting "CALLING ALL PLANKTON", but a fish sitting on a bench sneezes and blows away the skywriting; cuts to a montage of differently dressed Plankton) But why stop there? I'll gather every family member from every corner of the ocean. The entire Plankton family under one roof! Krabs won't stand a chance against the staggering intellect of a million super-smart criminal masterminds! (doorbell rings) THEY'RE HERE! Welcome, brethren! (Plankton runs to the door and opens it with a big grin, which quickly fades into a look of disgust and disbelief; he sees a huge group of hick, incestual, hillbilly family members "playing" with eachother; one of them begins to speak)
 
 
 
Flem: (hick drawl) Hey, look everybody! It's cousin Plankton!
 
 
 
All: YEE-HAW!
 
 
 
Plankton: I've been away from home longer than I thought.
 
(Flem runs up and shakes Plankton's hand)
 
 
 
Flem: (hick drawl) Well, howdy, cousin! (Plankton stares at his hand, which is dripping with white stuff after his cousin shook it)
 
 
 
Plankton: Uh....
 
 
 
Flem: It's me, Flem. 'A course you remember Puke, Dufus, Fuke, Billy Bob, Billy Jim, Billy Billy Bo Willy Banana Fana Fo Filly, Toad, Penis.... (Flem continues introducing the rest of the family; Plankton is crawling on the ground)
 
 
 
Plankton: SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL FIRE MAH LAZOR! BAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! I mean, uh, cum inside. Make yourself at home. (scene cuts to the family inside the Cum Bucket, standing in front of Karen) I'd like you to meet my computer bitch- I mean, wife, Karen.
 
 
 
Flem: (whistles from the back of the group) Golly, she sure is purdy, Dick.
 
 
 
Karen: Dick?!
 
 
 
Plankton: (annoyed) Yes, that's my first name. (Karen cracks up; Plankton keeps an angry face)
 
 
 
Karen: Dick? (laughing)
 
 
 
Plankton: (still has an annoyed face) Will you please-!
 
 
 
Karen: (still laughing) Sorry!
 
 
 
Plankton: All right, as I was saying.... (Karen starts laughing) Okay, we all know Dick's a funny name.
 
 
 
Karen: (laughing) Okay, okay. I'm done. No more.
 
 
 
Plankton: Good. Ahem, to continue. (turns away from Karen; he doesn't see the screen that she brings down behind him; the word "DICK" appears on the screen) Only you can bring honor.... (the family laughs; Plankton turns around to look at the screen; it is blank) ....and dignity.... (the word "DICK" with a finger pointing at Plankton appears; the group laughs, and Plankton turns to look at the screen, which is now blank) ....back to the Plankton name. (as soon as Plankton speaks, another "DICK" sign appears with an arrow pointing at Plankton; he turns around to look at the screen and is trembling with fury; as he starts to speak, another "DICK" sign appears) For years, it has been my goal to acquire the secret formula for.... (Plankton turns around and points at the sign) AHA! (he runs to the outlet and unplugs it) OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH! (Karen says "Dick!" one last time before losing power; Plankton runs in front of Karen's screen) Bottom line: we invade Russia and get thier weapons to destroy the Krusty Krap so I can steal the secret formula. What do you think?
 
 
 
Family Member 1: But what's in it for us? (the family roars in agreement)
 
 
 
Plankton: Well, what do you want?
 
 
 
Family Member 2: Gawrsh. Can I get a new dildo for my pussy? (holds up a worn out dildo)
 
 
 
Family Member 3: And another boob to match this'n? (holds up a boob)
 
 
 
Family Member 4: (holds up laptop) And some more memory so I can store more porn on my laptop!
 
 
 
Clem: And what about pussy?
 
 
 
All: PUSSY??!!!
 
 
 
Plankton: Help me get the secret formula and you can have as much pussy as you can eat out! (the group cheers) Victory, thy name is Plankton! (Plankton turns to face the cheering crowd; on his back is a note taped on with the word "Dick" )
 
(scene cuts to the Krusty Krap; Squidward and Mr. Krap are at the register)
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: Well, Mr. Squidward, it's almost closing time, and we haven't seen penis or testicle of ol' Plankton for hours. Yes, sir, I think this time, he's finally given up for....
 
 
 
Plankton: (over megaphone) Attention Krusty Krap management! This is your better in penis length speaking.
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: What?! (Plankton is standing outside the Krusty Krap with a megaphone)
 
 
 
Plankton: (over megaphone) I have the restaurant surrounded. Give me the secret formula or I'll destroy the Krusty Krap!
 
(Mr. Krabs and Squidward run outside to Plankton)
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: Ah, you and what army, fag?
 
 
 
Plankton: What army? What army?! Look around you, Krabs! (scene pans out to show the Krusty Krab surrounded by something green)
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: You planted grass?
 
 
 
Plankton: GRASS? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Plankton continues laughing as his family joins him.
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: Uh-oh. (Mr. Krap and Squidward run into the Krusty Krap with the Plankton family behind them; and a blackout, within the Krusty Krap are shaking and thudding noises, and some moaning, as if in an orgy; scene cuts to Mr. Krap's face) You'll never get away with it, Plankton. (Mr. Krap is in the toilet, with only his head of his penis exposed, surrounded by Plankton)
 
 
 
Plankton: You're right. The pipes are much too clogged with shit. Besides, what I really want is the Krappy Patty formula.
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: Well, you might as well forget it. The formula is locked away in me safe, and I'll never give ya the combination. (laughs)
 
 
 
Plankton: Silence! (Plankton jumps on the flushing lever and sends Mr. Krabs spinning around) I think you'll find we're more than capable of figuring it out for ourselves. Oh, boys? (Plankton snaps his finger and his family assembles into a giant human dick and pussy)
 
 
Plankton: Umm...guys? Stay focused! Remember the prize?
 
 
Plankton's family: Whoops!
 
 
(they form a giant human ear and hand, then twist the lock, figuring out the combination) That's it, a little to the left....
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: Fuck you Plankton, and your ability to join together to form a working human ear, dick, and pussy!
 
(the family opens the safe and inside is the secret formula in a bottle)
 
 
 
Plankton: Hot ass! (Plankton hops up the stairs to the formula) Yes. It's mine! The formula's mine. After all these years, it's finally mine! (Plankton pulls the cork from the bottle and smells it as if it were champagne; he pulls the formula out of the bottle) Let it be known that on this day, I, Dick J. Plankton, single-handedly overthrew the Krusty Krap!
 
 
 
Family: AHEM.
 
 
 
Plankton: Eh, and, of course, I had a little help from the family. (goes back to Mr. Krap, who is still stuck in the toilet)
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: Plankton, wait. You can't look at the formula.
 
 
 
Plankton: Begging won't help.
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: I'm telling you, you won't be able to handle the truth. There are some things in this world that weren't meant for mortal eyes.
 
 
 
Plankton: Eye.
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: Eye.
 
 
 
Plankton: I don't care. Drum roll please! (Plankton rolls himself a snare drum roll on the snare drum and runs to Mr. Krap's office, where a book labeled "Recipe for a Krabby Patty" sits on Mr. Krabs' desk and cymbal crash is heard) Finally, after all these years, I'm about to find out what makes a Krappy Patty taste so crappy. (opens book) The secret recipe for one Krappy Patty is.... a shitload of salt....
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: Plankton! Wait!
 
 
 
Plankton: (turns page) Three teaspoons of chopped dick....
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: I'm warning ya....!
 
 
 
Plankton: (turns page) A cup of love juice (semen)....
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: Don't do it!
 
 
 
Plankton:....mixed together with the most important ingredient of all.... four heaping pounds of freshly ground.... (turns page) Douchebag?? (Plankton stares wide eyed at the formula and looks at Mr. Krap)
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: GOTCHA!
 
 
Plankton: (running all the way back to the Cum Bucket: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU MOTHER FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!!!
 
 
 
 
(Back in the Krusty Krap, the book falls on the ground and the family reads the recipe and gasps; they all run screaming while Mr. Krap laughs, except for Flem)
 
 
Mr. Krap: Hey, why ain't you running?
 
 
Clem: Well, I'm jacking off.
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: Fuck off!
 
 
 
Flem: No, no. ''Jacking'' off.
 
 
Mr. Krap: WHy I oughtta...
 
 
Flem: Uh-oh.
 
 
(Flem runs away laughing goofily while Mr. Krap gets himself out of the toilet; Squidward rubs his head and comes out of the closet to Mr. Krap; SpongeBob arrives)
 
 
 
SpongeBob: Hey guys. Did I miss anything? (Squidward picks up the formula)
 
 
 
Squidward: Mr. Krap, is this really all a joke?
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Of course it is! How dumb are ya? And Plankton will probably get over it and be back again to find out what the real formula is. But don't worry, boys, the formula's safe from harm. I got it hidden in me most secret hiding place, a place no one, not even Plankton, would ever figure out. (Mr. Krap starts laughing and hopping up and down)
 
 
 
Squidward: Let me guess. It's in your anus, lodged in there while your masturbation session went wrong?
 
 
 
Mr. Krap: (gasps and runs to his house, screaming) Fuck you, Squidward!
 
 
FIN!
 
[[Category:Episode transcripts]]
 

Revision as of 15:22, 3 June 2014

Template:EpisodeTr/58b

  • [scene opens up on a shot of the Krusty Krab]
  • Narrator: Ah, the Krusty Krab. Home of the delicious Krabby Patty and its super-secret recipe. [Mr. Krabs appears]
  • Mr. Krabs: Attention, Krusty Krab crew! All hands report immediately!
  • SpongeBob: [runs up] Fry cook SpongeBob reporting, sir!
  • Squidward: [wakes from behind the cash register; yawns] What's all the yelling about?
  • Mr. Krabs: Today is the 25th anniversary of the first time me arch-enemy Plankton ever tried to steal me secret Krabby Patty formula. [scene flashes back to Mr. Krabs and Plankton]
  • Plankton: Can I have the secret formula?
  • Mr. Krabs: No.
  • Plankton: Okay. [walks away]
  • Mr. Krabs: [voiceover] But he was persistent!
  • Plankton: [comes back] Pretty please?
  • Mr. Krabs: Uh-uh. [scene cuts to Plankton holding a costume behind his back]
  • Mr. Krabs: He used disguises! [Plankton laughs and pulls a cockroach costume over himself; Mr. Krabs' leg squishes him] Super science! [Plankton drips a droplet of chemical into a test tube and drinks it; he is surrounded in a pink cloud and appears as a cockroach; Mr. Krabs' leg squishes him] Civil disobedience! [Plankton is marching, holding a picket sign that states "I am not a roach"; Mr. Krabs' leg squishes him; scene cuts back to the Krusty Krab with Squidward, SpongeBob, and Mr. Krabs] And I always came out on top!
  • Squidward: [sarcastically] Fascinating.
  • Mr. Krabs: But thousands of failures have made him crafty, so keep your eyes open! [Mr. Krabs' eyes bulge out, and he moves them right to left] You'll never know what trick he'll use to steal me secret Krabby Patty formula.
  • Robot: [walks into the Krusty Krab, speaks in robotic voice] What a quaint restaurant. I think I will sample their wares.
  • SpongeBob: Ooh, how weird! A machine made to look like a customer.
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob. Why don't you go hose out the men's room?
  • SpongeBob: With pleasure, sir!
  • Mr. Krabs: [moves Squidward out of the way] I'll take this one. [to the robot] Welcome to the Krusty Krab, sir. May I help you?
  • Robot: Yes please. I'd like an order of chili coral bits.
  • Mr. Krabs: [loses fake grin he had] You sure you don't want a Krabby Patty?
  • Robot: No thank you. [holds up dollar bill] Will this cover it?
  • Mr. Krabs: Uh, sure. [grabs dollar and hands the robot a paper bag] Here you go.
  • Robot: [takes the bag and walks toward the door; using green laser beams, it melts the doorway and walks through] Good day.
  • Mr. Krabs: Hm. I was sure it was one of Plankton's tricks. Well, at least his money's good. [laughs; the dollar bill center pops open and Plankton jumps out]
  • Plankton: AH-HAH!
  • Mr. Krabs: Plankton! You knew I would never distrust a dollar!
  • Plankton: That's right, Krabs. Now hand over the secret Krabby Patty formula!
  • Mr. Krabs: Or what?
  • Plankton: ...I don't know. I never thought I'd get this far.
  • Mr. Krabs: Well then, allow me to suggest your next move. [scene cuts to a toilet being flushed; Plankton screams as he swirls around in the water]
  • Plankton: Curse you, Kra-a-abs! [he disappears into the hole]
  • Mr. Krabs: [laughs] And now for the chaser! [scene cuts to manhole outside of the Chum Bucket; Plankton pops up out of the manhole, gasping for breath; he jumps out]
  • Plankton: You just wait, Krabs! Next time I'll... ah, who am I kidding? At least I can go home to a wife who understands. [scene cuts to inside the Chum Bucket]
  • Karen: So? Tell me what happened.
  • Plankton: I don't want to talk about it.
  • Karen: Talking will make you feel better.
  • Plankton: Leave me alone.
  • Karen: That's your problem. You never let anyone in. Plankton the rock, Plankton the loner...
  • Plankton: And she's off, ladies and gentlemen.
  • Karen: ...and that's why everything you try ends up like this... [Karen's screen shows Plankton laughing, about to pull a lever; Mr. Krabs' steps on him and squashes him] and like this... [Karen's screen shows Plankton laughing, holding a rubber duck over his head; Mr. Krabs' once again steps on Plankton, squishing him] and more recently, like this. [Karen's screen shows a toilet with a flushing noise. On the video Plankton screams in the toilet]
  • Plankton: [whimpering, starts bawling] I'm a failure!
  • Karen: It's not that bad! You just require a little help. Maybe some henchmen...
  • Plankton: Henchmen?
  • Karen: Yes, what you need to do is surround yourself with muscular tough guys who'll do whatever you say.
  • Plankton: I like the sound of that. I'll canvas all the seediest lowbrow dives in town to find my minions. And I know just how to speak their language! [scene cuts to a dim club with muscular tough guys playing pool; Plankton stands at the door] Felicitations, malefactors! I am endeavoring to misappropriate the formulary for the preparation of affordable comestibles! Who will join me!?
  • [The tough guys step on Plankton; scene cuts to Plankton sitting in a wheelchair in the Chum Bucket with a cast and bandages]
  • Plankton: I don't get it. No matter what I do, I always end up being squashed by someone bigger than me.
  • Karen: Oh, come on. I think you're overreacting. [as Karen talks, a robotic hand comes out of a panel and pats Plankton, then squishes him] Sorry.
  • Plankton: That's okay. I'm no different than the millions of other Plankton in the sea. [while Plankton talks, he "assembles" himself together, sticking his eye on, putting his arm in the socket, and matching his legs which are labeled "left leg" and "right leg" in their appropriate sockets] The Plankton family has always been pushed around and stepped on. Wait! That's it! Acting alone, we're powerless, but united, the Plankton family could be a real pain in the fanny! [he appears with a phone book and slams it on the ground] Krabs may think one Plankton is no problem, but let's see him take on two, or ten, or a hundred, or a thousand! [scene cuts to Plankton "dialing" a number, which is him jumping on the buttons; cuts to Plankton running from the receiver of the phone to the speaker; cuts to Plankton writing a letter to a family member; cuts to Plankton running with his tongue moistening the adhesive on an envelope; cuts to Plankton in a red airplane, skywriting "CALLING ALL PLANKTON", but a fish sitting on a bench sneezes and blows away the skywriting; cuts to a montage of differently dressed Plankton] But why stop there? I'll gather every family member from every corner of the ocean. The entire Plankton family under one roof! Krabs won't stand a chance against the staggering intellect of a million super-smart criminal masterminds! [doorbell rings] THEY'RE HERE! Welcome, brethren! [Plankton runs to the door and opens it with a big grin, which quickly fades into a look of disgust and disbelief; he sees a huge group of hick, redneck family members playing music; one of them begins to speak]
  • Clem: [hick drawl] Hey, look everybody! It's cousin Plankton!
  • All: YEE-HAW!
  • Plankton: I've been away from home longer than I thought. [Clem runs up and shakes Plankton's hand]
  • Clem: [hick drawl] Well, howdy, cousin! [Plankton stares at his hand, which is dripping after his cousin shook it]
  • Plankton: Uh...
  • Clem: It's me, Clem. O' course, you remember Zeke, Rufus, Jeke, Billy Bob, Billy Jim, Billy Billy Bo Willy Banana Fana Fo Filly, Doug, Enos... [Clem continues introducing the rest of the family; Plankton is crawling on the ground]
  • Plankton: ALL RIGHT! I GET IT! I mean, uh, come inside. Make yourself at home. [scene cuts to the family inside the Chum Bucket, standing in front of Karen] I'd like you to meet my computer wife, Karen.
  • Clem: [whistles from the back of the group] Golly, she sure is purdy, Sheldon.
  • Karen: Sheldon?!
  • Plankton: [annoyed] Yes, that's my first name. [Karen cracks up; Plankton keeps an angry face]
  • Karen: Sheldon? [laughing]
  • Plankton: [still has an annoyed face] Will you please-!
  • Karen: [still laughing] Sorry!
  • Plankton: All right, as I was saying... [Karen starts laughing] Okay, we all know Sheldon's a funny name.
  • Karen: [laughing] Okay, okay. I'm done. No more.
  • Plankton: Good. Ahem, to continue. [turns away from Karen; he doesn't see the screen that she brings down behind him; the word "SHELDON" appears on the screen] Only you can bring honor... [the family laughs; Plankton turns around to look at the screen; it is blank] ...and dignity... [the word "SHELDON" with a finger pointing at Plankton appears; the group laughs, and Plankton turns to look at the screen, which is now blank] ...back to the Plankton name. [as soon as Plankton speaks, another "SHELDON" sign appears with an arrow pointing at Plankton; he turns around to look at the screen and is trembling with fury; as he starts to speak, another "SHELDON" sign appears] For years, it has been my goal to acquire the secret formula for... [Plankton turns around and points at the sign] AHA! [he runs to the outlet and unplugs it] OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH! [Karen says "Sheldon!" one last time before losing power; Plankton runs in front of Karen's screen] Bottom line: we invade the Krusty Krab so I can steal the secret formula. What do you think?
  • Family Member 1: But what's in it for us? [the family roars in agreement]
  • Plankton: Well, what do you want?
  • Family Member 2: Gawrsh. Can I get a new string for my banjo? [holds up a banjo with one string]
  • Family Member 3: And another boot to match this'n? [holds up foot with a boot on it]
  • Family Member 4: [holds up laptop] And some more memory for my laptop!
  • Clem: And what about root beer?
  • All: ROOT BEER?!?!?
  • Plankton: Help me get the secret formula and you can have as much root beer as you can drink! [the group cheers] Victory, thy name is Plankton! [Plankton turns to face the cheering crowd; on his back is a note taped on with the word "Sheldon" . scene cuts to the Krusty Krab; Squidward and Mr. Krabs are at the register]
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, Mr. Squidward, it's almost closing time, and we haven't seen eye or antennae of ol' Plankton for hours. Yes, sir, I think this time, he's finally given up for...
  • Plankton: [over megaphone] Attention Krusty Krab management! This is your better speaking.
  • Mr. Krabs: What?! [Plankton is standing outside the Krusty Krab with a megaphone]
  • Plankton: [over megaphone] I have the restaurant surrounded. Give me the secret formula or I'll destroy the Krusty Krab! [Mr. Krabs and Squidward run outside to Plankton]
  • Mr. Krabs: Ah, you and what army, bug?
  • Plankton: What army? What army?! Look around you, Krabs! [scene pans out to show the Krusty Krab surrounded by something green]
  • Mr. Krabs: You planted grass?
  • Plankton: GRASS?!? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [Plankton continues laughing as his family joins him.
  • Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh. [Mr. Krabs and Squidward run into the Krusty Krab with the Plankton family behind them; and a blackout, within the Krusty Krab are shaking and thudding noises, as if in a fight; scene cuts to Mr. Krabs' face] You'll never get away with it, Plankton. [Mr. Krabs is in the toilet, with only his head exposed, surrounded by Plankton]
  • Plankton: You're right. The pipes are much too narrow. Besides, what I really want is the Krabby Patty formula.
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, you might as well forget it. The formula is locked away in me safe, and I'll never give ya the combination. [laughs]
  • Plankton: Silence! [Plankton jumps on the flushing lever and sends Mr. Krabs spinning around] I think you'll find we're more than capable of figuring it out for ourselves. Oh, boys? [Plankton snaps his finger and his family assembles into a giant human hand and ear; they twist the lock, figuring out the combination] That's it, a little to the left...
  • Mr. Krabs: Curse you Plankton, and your ability to join together to form a working human ear! [the family opens the safe and inside is the secret formula in a bottle]
  • Plankton: Hot dog! [Plankton hops up the stairs to the formula] Yes. It's mine! The formula's mine. After all these years, it's finally mine! [Plankton pulls the cork from the bottle and smells it as if it were champagne; he pulls the formula out of the bottle] Let it be known that on this day, I, Sheldon J. Plankton, single-handedly overthrew the Krusty Krab!
  • Family: [variously] AHEM.
  • Plankton: Eh, and, of course, I had a little help from the family. [goes back to Mr. Krabs, who is still stuck in the toilet]
  • Mr. Krabs: Plankton, wait. You can't look at the formula.
  • Plankton: Begging won't help.
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm telling you, you won't be able to handle the truth. There are some things in this world that weren't meant for mortal eyes.
  • Plankton: Eye.
  • Mr. Krabs: Eye.
  • Plankton: I don't care. Drum roll please! [Plankton rolls himself a snare drum roll on the snare drum, then runs to Mr. Krabs' office, where a book labeled "Recipe for a Krabby Patty" sits on Mr. Krabs' desk and cymbal crash is heard] Finally, after all these years, I'm about to find out what makes a Krabby Patty taste so good. [opens book] The secret recipe for one Krabby Patty is... a pinch of salt...!
  • Mr. Krabs: Plankton! Wait!
  • Plankton: [turns page] ...Three teaspoons of chopped onions...!
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm warning ya...!
  • Plankton: [turns page] ...A cup of love...!
  • Mr. Krabs: Don't do it!
  • Plankton: ...mixed together with the most important ingredient of all... four heaping pounds of freshly ground...! [turns page] ...Plankton?!? [Plankton stares wide eyed at the formula and looks at Mr. Krabs]
  • Mr. Krabs: I warned ya.
  • Plankton: [running all the way back to the Chum Bucket] AAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
  • [Back in the Krusty Krab, the book falls on the ground and the family reads the recipe and gasps; they all run screaming while Mr. Krabs laughs, except for Clem]
  • Mr. Krabs: Hey, why ain't you running?
  • Clem: Well, I can't read.
  • Mr. Krabs: Get out of here! [Clem runs away laughing goofy while Mr. Krabs gets himself out of the toilet; Squidward rubs his head and comes out of the toilet as well; SpongeBob arrives]
  • SpongeBob: Hey guys. Did I miss anything? [Squidward picks up the formula]
  • Squidward: Mr. Krabs, is this really the secret ingredient for the Krabby Patty?
  • Mr. Krabs: Of course not! And Plankton will probably figure that out and be back again to find out what the real formula is. But don't worry, boys, the formula's safe from harm. I got it hidden in me most secret hiding place, a place no one, not even Plankton, would ever figure out. [Mr. Krabs starts laughing and hopping up and down]
  • Squidward: Let me guess. It's at home, under your mattress.
  • Mr. Krabs: [gasps and runs to his house, screaming] Curse you, Squidward! [cut to black]