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Pineapple Invasion
Season №: 9
Episode №: 203a
Airdate: July 14, 2016
Previous: "Snail Mail"
Next: "Salsa Imbecilicus"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Pineapple Invasion" from season nine, which aired on July 14, 2016.

  • [The episode opens with the fist falling off the roof of the Chum Bucket. Plankton walks out on the roof and appears to be covering something in his wagon with an old rag.]
  • Plankton: I'm ready, I'm ready! Ready to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula! Prepare to initiate plan number... hmmm... number. What's the number? Oh well. Who cares?
  • Karen: Good question.
  • Plankton: Say what?
  • Karen: I said good luck!
  • [Karen pushes the wagon.]
  • Plankton: That formula will be mine!
  • [Plankton drives across the street and into front doors of the Krusty Krab.]
  • Plankton: [driving through the customers] Out of my way, pinheads! Move it, move it, move it! [rings the bell at Squidward's cash register] Hey there, snazola! I'm about to show you the advantage of not having a nose. Say hello to... Mr. Stinky!
  • [Plankton takes of the rag and reveals a skunk named Mr. Stinky. The customers think Mr. Stinky is a cat and look at it in awe.]
  • Plankton: That's right, everyone. Gather in real close. [pulls out remote] Time to trigger the stench! [pushes button] Yoink!
  • [The siren on Mr. Stinky's helmet lights up and the helmet lets in a bumble bee. Mr. Stinky gets really scared and sprays fumes of his horrible smell all over the Krusty Krab. The customers including Squidward couldn't take the smell and ran out of the restaurant. The fumes went into the kitchen where SpongeBob was flipping Krabby Patties.]
  • SpongeBob: Huh? [tries to wave away the fumes with his spatula] No, no, no, no, no, no!
  • [The Krabby Patties get engulfed with the fumes.]
  • SpongeBob: Not the patties! I'll save you!
  • [SpongeBob absorbs the fumes with his nose. But because the stench smelled so terrible, he teared up. Mr. Krabs, disturbed by the noise, comes out of his office.]
  • Mr. Krabs: What's all the racket out here?
  • [Mr. Krabs sniffs the air. But when he smelled the skunk fumes, his eyes turned green and popped like balloons. The customers continue to panic outside as the HAZMAT Unit condemns the restaurant so they can rid the horrible smell. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs run out with fumes all over them. A firefighter sprays the fumes off of them with a hose.]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, are you alright? What happened?
  • Mr. Krabs: I don't know. Me eyes were burnin'! All I saw was a little eyeball and a pair of antenna and... [pauses] Plankton! [SpongeBob gasps] He's still in there! Alone! With me secret formula! He could be doing anything with it! [grabs SpongeBob] He could be reading it!
  • [Mr. Krabs lets go of SpongeBob and takes off his nose.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Give me your hand, boy-oh! [grabs SpongeBob's arm] I need to borrow this. [cuts off SpongeBob's arm and puts it on his face as a nose plug] Ok, I'm going in!
  • SpongeBob: Good luck, Mr. Krabs!
  • [Mr. Krabs walks back into the restaurant and, using SpongeBob's hand as a fan, waves some of the fumes away for him to see where he's going. Mr. Stinky eats the bumble bee and didn't notice Mr. Krabs sneaking past him. Mr. Krabs makes it to his office and sees Plankton planting dynamite sticks around the safe.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Why you little...
  • Plankton: I hope you like percussion, Eugene. Because these drumsticks really go bongo! [laughs]
  • [Plankton jumps off the safe and ignites the dynamite sticks with the battery on Mr. Krabs' desk, creating a loud explosion. As the smoke clears, the safe opens. But much to Plankton's chargin, there is another safe inside.]
  • Plankton: What? The old safe in the safe routine?
  • [Mr. Krabs grabs Plankton with SpongeBob's arm.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Here's another routine! You're the meat in me knuckle sandwich!
  • Plankton: I'm not hungry!
  • [Mr. Krabs crushes Plankton with his fists. Plankton is now spattered on his left fist.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Eww. [throws away Plankton's antenna] SpongeBob!
  • [SpongeBob comes in with his right leg on the spot where is nose is.]
  • SpongeBob: Yes, sir. I see the problem.
  • [SpongeBob regrows his left arm and right leg. He uses his spatula to scoop Plankton off of Mr. Krabs' fist. Mr. Krabs opens the window and SpongeBob flings Plankton out with his spatula. Meanwhile, the HAZMAT Unit takes Mr. Stinky out of the restaurant, puts him in a basket tied with balloons, and lets him float back up to the surface. However, the wind blows the balloons and makes the basket go the other direction. The basket floats into Bikini Bottom where Mr. Stinky sprays his fumes once more. The Bikini Bottomites frantically scream and run around as the horrible smell drives them crazy. Back in the restaurant, SpongeBob blows the fumes out with a fan.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Whew! That was too close my lad. Three more safes and he would've had me secret formula.
  • [Mr. Krabs unlocks the second safe.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Looks like I'm gonna have to beef up security around here.
  • [Mr. Krabs pushes the buttons on the third safe and opens up, revealing a steel container inside. Mr. Krabs takes it out and puts it on his desk.]
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna need you to do me a big favor, laddy.
  • [Mr. Krabs pushes the buttons on the container and it opens up, revealing the bottle with the secret formula inside.]
  • Mr. Krabs: [gives SpongeBob the bottle] Take this home with ya and hide it while I reevaluate my security situation.
  • [Mr. Krabs throws away the container and pounds on his desk. The vibrations of Mr. Krabs' fists shakes the room which also made SpongeBob drop the bottle.]
  • SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, how do you know it will be safe from Plankton at my house?
  • Mr. Krabs: Pisha! He'll think it's still here! His tiny brain is incapable of the kind of abstract thinking that is required for reflection. Or thoughtful reasoning and deduction. He cannot ruminate.
  • [As Mr. Krabs talks to SpongeBob, the antenna Plankton lost was recording everything and Plankton was listening from outside.]
  • Mr. Krabs: [voiceover] He cannot define the hypothesis. He's a tired clown. He'll never know it's in your house!
  • Plankton: [gets an idea] Oh, you're right, Professor Krabface! I'm much too simple-minded to look there! [laughs]
  • [The scene changes to closing time at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob quietly sneaks out and tries to go home with the secret formula. Plankton is seen standing by the sign.]
  • Plankton: Hey, there.
  • [SpongeBob hides the formula in one of his holes on his back.]
  • Plankton: Pleasant night, eh SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: [laughs nervously] Oh, uh, yes. It's a very nighty-night for a walkie.
  • Plankton: Ain't that the truth? Hey, nothing gets past you. One could say you have the formula for honesty.
  • SpongeBob: Uh, yeah. One could say that I guess. Uh, anyway. I gotta go wash my formula. [freaks out] Hair! Hair! I gotta go wash my hair! Uh, good night, Plankton.
  • [SpongeBob tips his hat, literally revealing the formula on his head. Plankton paused for a bit but relaxes.]
  • Plankton: Yeah. Gotta keep that hair clean and in a safe place.
  • SpongeBob: [laughs nervously] Okay, bye!
  • [SpongeBob leaves to go home.]
  • French Narrator: The next morning...
  • SpongeBob: Now remember, Gary. I'm entrusting you with the secret formula.
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Stay sharp, Gary. Don't let anyone inside.
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Bye, Gary!
  • [Plankton is on a rock, watching SpongeBob and Gary. He sees SpongeBob leave his home to work at the Krusty Krab. Plankton laughs and comes up with a plan. Inside SpongeBob's house, Gary guards the door until he hears a knock.]
  • Gary: Meow.
  • [Gary answers the door and sees Plankton in the disguise as a salesman. Plankton gently pets Gary's snail, but Gary growls angrily at him.]
  • Plankton: Why, hey there, little fella! Is SpongeBob.. [clears throat] I mean your master at home? [Plankton's fake ear slips, but he pushes it back.] Eh, perhaps I could just come inside for a minute and demonstrate our fine snail products.
  • [Plankton opens his case and shows snail care products.]
  • Plankton: Shell polish, slime deodorant, chew toys...
  • Gary: Meow! [Gary slams the door on Plankton, breaking off part of his disguise.]
  • Plankton: My leg!
  • [Gary looks through the window and sees Plankton hopping away on one of his stilts from his disguise.]
  • Plankton: Your friends won't tell ya this, but you can really use the slime deodorant, Smelly!
  • French Narrator: Moments later...
  • [Gary is seen reading the paper on SpongeBob's chair, until he hears the doorbell ringing.]
  • Gary: Meow?
  • [Gary answers the door and sees Plankton disguise as a girl scout selling cookies.]
  • Plankton: Hello, sir... [clears throat and talks in a higher voice] Hello, sir! I'm selling Sweetie Patrol cookies! We have a lovely assortment of fungi and algae flavors.
  • [Plankton sits on the sofa with the cookie box and holds out a list.]
  • Plankton: How many delicious boxes can I put you down for? If you order ten boxes, I'll qualify for my bottom-dweller badge. If you order a hundred boxes, I'll get my bling-bling badge. You know, you should hide these from your roommate. She'll eat all of them. [regular voice] If you show me your best hiding place, I'd be happy to help.
  • [It's soon shown that the sofa was pushed outside of the house with Plankton on it.]
  • Gary: Meow, meow!
  • [Gary slams the door. Plankton got so mad, he threw the cookie box on the ground and the box exploded.]
  • Plankton: [dazed] Note to self: Nitroglycerin is not a substitute for vanilla extract. [his antennas are blown to dust and he faints]
  • French Narrator: More moments later...
  • [Gary is seen growling at the window where he spots Plankton making faces at him. Gary comes out of the house.]
  • Gary: Meow?
  • [Gary discovers that it was just a decoy and growls in frustration. As he goes to look for Plankton, a hole is seen on the bottom of the house. Inside, it's revealed that the hole was made by Plankton who was actually biting his way in. Plankton spits the pineapple out of his mouth.]
  • Plankton: I forgot how much I hate pineapple.
  • [Gary continues to look for Plankton from the living room to the kitchen. As Gary slithered by his litter box, Plankton pops his head out. Gary looked suspiciously at his litter box, but continues looking for Plankton.]
  • Plankton: [munches on the snail litter] Hey, this snail litter tastes better than pineapple. [swallows] Now, where is that secret formula?
  • [Plankton hops out and runs into the living room]
  • Plankton: Where is it? Where is it? Gotta be here somewhere.
  • [Plankton knocks down a table with a plant.]
  • Plankton: Nothin' in there. [sees one of the hooks on SpongeBob's decoration] Ooh, look at that.
  • [Plankton grabs the hook and pops SpongeBob's chair. He knocks over the table and looks in the shellphone.]
  • Plankton: Hello!
  • [His voice echoes. Plankton jumps on the wall and rips of wallpaper off.]
  • Plankton: Where the barnacles is it?
  • [Plankton rips the floor and sees nothing underneath.]
  • Plankton: Where is it? Where is it? I know you're in here! You're not foolin' anybody! I went to college!
  • [Plankton runs into the kitchen, opens the fridge, and jumps up and down to find the formula. He climbs on the stove and knocks over the fridge. Then he knocks over the stove, walks through the pipe and went into the cupboards.]
  • Plankton: Nope, nope, nope.
  • [As he is searching, he throws some dishes, kitchen appliances, and a huge trash can. He comes out with a baster. Plankton thought that the baster could come in handy and puts it in his pocket. Gary is napping in SpongeBob's room until he hears the commotion from downstairs.]
  • [He goes to see what's making the noise. Plankton manages to hide himself from Gary. Once the coast is clear, he runs upstairs to SpongeBob's room. Gary spots Plankton going upstairs and shutting the door. Plankton searches through SpongeBob's room to find the formula.]
  • [A light bulb pops out from Gary's eye and lights up, giving Gary an idea on how to catch Plankton.]
  • [Plankton comes out of SpongeBob's room and heads downstairs. On his way down, he slips on Gary's slime, lands and bounces off a mattress and gets flown into the ceiling fan. The fan spins him around and throws him through the basketball net. Plankton falls through the pipe and lands on a record player. Gary snickers as he caught Plankton into his trap. The player spins Plankton around until he gets caught on the needle. The player flies Plankton onto a board and he lands on a puddle of glue where he gets stuck. The bowling ball on the stool rolls down and board, squishes Plankton, rolls across the floor, and hits ten flower pots like knocking down bowling pins. Then a small vacuum cleaner comes out, sucks up the dirt and broken pottery, and traps Plankton inside. Plankton pops out of the vacuum gasping for air.]
  • Plankton: Alright, Snail! Let's go! Just you and me!
  • Gary: Meow!
  • Plankton: Put 'em up! Put 'em up!
  • [Gary fights Plankton with his eye stalks. During the fight, Plankton notices an opening in Gary's shell.]
  • Plankton: Of course! What a fool I've been!
  • [Plankton climbs into Gary's shell. Inside, the shell has random things covered in slime.]
  • Plankton: SpongeBob's hidden the secret formula inside Gary's shell! Sheesh! This place is disgusting! I bet it reeks. Good thing I don't have a nose. Huh? [turns around and sees Gary's eye following him] Aye yae yae!
  • [Gary's eye chases Plankton up, down, left, and right all around the inside of his shell. It wasn't long until SpongeBob returned home from work.]
  • SpongeBob: Gary, I'm home!
  • [SpongeBob gasps in shock to see that his house is completely demolished.]
  • SpongeBob: What happened here? [gasps] My first Krabby Patty! I had it bronzed! Oh, and I was gonna give that to my grandchildren! [gasps] My Mermaid Man collectible underpants! Oh, I could've worn them a thousand more times! [gasps] My glass of water! [teary] I was gonna drink that! Oh, the Krabby Patty formula!
  • [It's revealed that SpongeBob hid the formula on top of his television in disguise as an antenna.]
  • SpongeBob: Whew! It's safe and right where I left it.
  • [SpongeBob notices Gary with his left eye in his shell and growling.]
  • SpongeBob: Gary, did you do this?
  • Gary: [growls]
  • SpongeBob: What's the matter, Gary? Something wrong with your shell?
  • Gary: Meow, meow!
  • SpongeBob: Something's not right, Gary.
  • [Gary pulls his eye back out of his shell.]
  • SpongeBob: I'd better get you to the vet.
  • Gary: Meow.
  • [Meanwhile, inside Gary's shell, Plankton continues running around until he reaches a dead-end, which he almost falls into a deep hole.]
  • Plankton: Ha! I lost him! Now, I'm lost!
  • [Suddenly, something tilts the shell and Plankton falls into the hole. He lands into the shell's center.]
  • Plankton: Ah, my head. Oh, I must be in the center of the shell. [he sees a piece of paper stuck in the slime] What's that? [opens it] This is it! Just like I thought! It was hidden here all the time! The secret Krabby Patty formula! It's beautiful!
  • [Just then, a shimmering light appears.]
  • Plankton: The heavenly light! I always knew I'd see it once I've gotten the formula! Let me bask in its glory! [sighs]
  • [However, the light was actually coming from the vet where the doctor opened Gary's shell to find Plankton hallucinating from the fumes inside. And the paper he found is actually a shopping list.]
  • Doctor: Well, that's odd. Who's that?
  • SpongeBob: Hey, it's Plankton.
  • Doctor: What's he got there?
  • SpongeBob: Looks like one of my old grocery lists.
  • Doctor: I don't know how he got in there, but the gases inside this shell are making the little guy hallucinate. He would've smelled the gases if he had a nose like most good-hearted people. [sniffs]
  • Plankton: Ha, ha! I got it! I got it!
  • [Plankton, still hallucinating, runs out of the vet with the shopping list. The doctor, Gary, and SpongeBob watch strangely as he runs off into the sunset.]
  • Plankton: I've finally got the formula! It's mine, it's mine, it's mine, it's mine! Open the sparkling apple juice, Karen! Daddy's bringing the bacon home! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo!

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