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− | {{EpisodeTr |
+ | {{EpisodeTr/6b}} |
− | |title = Pickles |
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− | |titlecard = Pickles.jpg |
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− | |seasonnumber = 1 |
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− | |episodenumber = 6b |
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− | |airdate = [[August 21]], [[1999]] |
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− | }} |
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{{L|Squidward|Welcome to the Krusty Krab. My name is Squidward. May I take your order?}} |
{{L|Squidward|Welcome to the Krusty Krab. My name is Squidward. May I take your order?}} |
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− | {{L|Clay|Hmmm...uhh...oh, |
+ | {{L|Clay|Hmmm...uhh...oh, I'll have a... ''[Squidward takes out pencil and paper]'' ...no. ''[Squidward puts pencil and paper away]'' Maybe... ''[takes out pencil and paper]'' ...no. ''[Squidward puts pencil and paper away]'' Hmmm...I'll have... ''[takes out pencil and paper]'' ...no. Or maybe...}} |
{{L|Squidward|Are you planning on ordering today, sir?}} |
{{L|Squidward|Are you planning on ordering today, sir?}} |
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{{L|Clay|I'll have a Krabby Patty. ''[Squidward writes down order]''}} |
{{L|Clay|I'll have a Krabby Patty. ''[Squidward writes down order]''}} |
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{{L|Squidward|How original.}} |
{{L|Squidward|How original.}} |
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{{L|Clay|And with extra onions.}} |
{{L|Clay|And with extra onions.}} |
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− | {{L|Squidward|Daring today, |
+ | {{L|Squidward|Daring today, aren't we? ''[takes order and shows SpongeBob]'' One Krabby Patty, extra onions. ''[SpongeBob takes piece of paper and puts with the rest of the orders]''}} |
− | {{L|SpongeBob|One |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|One cryin' Johnny comin' up! First bun, then patty, followed by ketchup, mustard, pickles, extra onions, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, and bun, in that order. One cryin' Johnny! Up! ''[bell rings]''}} |
{{L|Squidward|Whatever. ''[Jess comes up and tells Squidward what he wants and Squidward relays order to SpongeBob]'' Twelve Krabby Patties on wheat buns! ''[SpongeBob takes a plate and patties begin to appear on the plate]''}} |
{{L|Squidward|Whatever. ''[Jess comes up and tells Squidward what he wants and Squidward relays order to SpongeBob]'' Twelve Krabby Patties on wheat buns! ''[SpongeBob takes a plate and patties begin to appear on the plate]''}} |
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− | {{L|SpongeBob|One dozen |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun. One dozen cryin' cows on the farm! Up! ''[Squidward takes the plate]''}} |
− | {{L|Squidward|Thanks, Farmer Brown. ''[at Jess]'' |
+ | {{L|Squidward|Thanks, Farmer Brown. ''[at Jess]'' It's been a thrill serving you.}} |
{{L|John|Can I get some extra salt?}} |
{{L|John|Can I get some extra salt?}} |
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− | {{L|Squidward| |
+ | {{L|Squidward|We're all out.}} |
{{L|John|Could you check?}} |
{{L|John|Could you check?}} |
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− | {{L|Squidward|No |
+ | {{L|Squidward|No. ''[Bubble Bass walks up to order]'' Let me guess, Tiny, a small salad?}} |
− | {{L|Bubble Bass| |
+ | {{L|Bubble Bass|I'll take a Double Triple Balty Deluxe on a raft, four by four, animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim. ''[Squidward gives up writing all of that down]''}} |
− | {{L|Squidward|We serve food here, sir. ''[SpongeBob shows Squidward he's already gotten the order done]''}} |
+ | {{L|Squidward|We serve ''food'' here, sir. ''[SpongeBob shows Squidward he's already gotten the order done]''}} |
{{L|SpongeBob|I got it already, Squidward. ''[gasps]'' Bubble Bass.}} |
{{L|SpongeBob|I got it already, Squidward. ''[gasps]'' Bubble Bass.}} |
||
− | {{L|Bubble Bass|''[pushes Squidward away]'' SquarePants. I hear talk you make a mean Krabby Patty.}} |
+ | {{L|Bubble Bass|''[pushes Squidward away]'' SquarePants. [walks to SpongeBob] I hear talk you make a mean Krabby Patty.}} |
− | {{L|SpongeBob|''[staring at Bubble Bass]'' Yep. I hear talk |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|''[staring at Bubble Bass]'' Yep. I hear talk you're kinda picky.}} |
{{L|Bubble Bass|Yep.}} |
{{L|Bubble Bass|Yep.}} |
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− | {{L|SpongeBob|Well |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Well then...here ya go! ''[Bubble Bass takes the plate and sits down where he examines the Krabby Patty until he decides to take a bite]'' Well, Bubble Bass, whaddya think?}} |
− | {{L|Bubble Bass|This is pretty good. Only one thing. |
+ | {{L|Bubble Bass|This is pretty good. Only one thing. You forgot the Pickles! ''[shows no pickles on the burger]''}} |
− | {{L|Crowd|gasp |
+ | {{L|Crowd|[gasp]}} |
{{L|SpongeBob|No!}} |
{{L|SpongeBob|No!}} |
||
− | {{L|Bubble Bass|The best there is? I |
+ | {{L|Bubble Bass|The best there is? I don't think so. You lose! ''[laughs]''}} |
− | {{L|SpongeBob|''[checks patty for pickles]'' But, the pickles should be right where they always are. I know I put them on! ''[customers are disappointed]'' Where are those pickles? Pickles |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|''[checks patty for pickles]'' But, the pickles should be right where they always are. I know I put them on! ''[customers are disappointed; tears the patty apart, finding the pickles]'' Where are those pickles? Pickles? Pickles? Pickles? ''[Bubble Bass walks up to Mr. Krabs but also throws Squidward out of the way again]''}} |
{{L|Bubble Bass|I believe you owe me two bucks.}} |
{{L|Bubble Bass|I believe you owe me two bucks.}} |
||
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Two bucks?!}} |
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Two bucks?!}} |
||
− | {{L|Bubble Bass|Your guarantee. ''[points to the menu where in tiny print it says 'money-back guarantee']''}} |
+ | {{L|Bubble Bass|Your guarantee. ''[points to the menu where in tiny print it says '* money-back guarantee']''}} |
− | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh. That. Well, |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh. That. Well, can't we talk about this? ''[takes out two dollars and Bubble Bass grabs it]''}} |
− | {{L|Bubble Bass|No. |
+ | {{L|Bubble Bass|No.}} |
− | {{L|Mr. Krabs|How about a discount on restroom tokens? ''[Bubble Bass takes money back]''}} |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|[pulls money back] How about a discount on restroom tokens? ''[Bubble Bass takes money back]''}} |
{{L|Bubble Bass|Afraid not.}} |
{{L|Bubble Bass|Afraid not.}} |
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− | {{L|Mr. Krabs| |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|How's about a free glass of water? A dozen free glasses of water! I'll even put ice in it! ''[Bubble Bass walks out the Krusty Krab with the money]'' No! Come back! Two dollars! Two dollars, no! No! ''[walks over to SpongeBob]''}} |
{{L|SpongeBob|Mr.. Krabs, I know I put pickles on that Krabby Patty.}} |
{{L|SpongeBob|Mr.. Krabs, I know I put pickles on that Krabby Patty.}} |
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− | {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[grabs SpongeBob]'' That two bucks is |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[grabs SpongeBob]'' That two bucks is comin' out of your paycheck! ''[SpongeBob tries to hang onto the floor]''}} |
{{L|SpongeBob|Wait! Wait! Wait! ''[Mr. Krabs throws SpongeBob into the kitchen]''}} |
{{L|SpongeBob|Wait! Wait! Wait! ''[Mr. Krabs throws SpongeBob into the kitchen]''}} |
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− | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Get back to work, we got orders |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Get back to work, we got orders waitin'!}} |
{{L|Squidward|I need a Krabby Patty.}} |
{{L|Squidward|I need a Krabby Patty.}} |
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− | {{L|SpongeBob|Ok, I am not gonna blow it this time. |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Ok, I am not gonna blow it this time. Let's see. Bun down. Then ketchup, then mustard, then pickles? No! That's not right! ''[starts a new patty]'' Bun down. Mustard, then ketchup, lettuce, then the pickles? No! ''[tries again]'' Mustard down, bun stuff down d'oh, where's the patty go? ''[tries again and uses the same bun]'' Pickles, ketchup, wait! Think! Think! I'm losin' it! ''[tries again]'' Bun down, shoe, mustard, pan, bun...no! ''[Mr. Krabs comes in]'' Mr. Krabs, I am so confused. I can't remember how to do anything.}} |
− | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Why |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Why don't you take the rest of the day off?}} |
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, no, Mr.. Krabs. Who will make the Krabby Patties?}} |
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, no, Mr.. Krabs. Who will make the Krabby Patties?}} |
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− | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, don't worry about that. We've got Squidward!}} |
{{L|Squidward|Huh? ''[SpongeBob walks out and goes home]''}} |
{{L|Squidward|Huh? ''[SpongeBob walks out and goes home]''}} |
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− | {{L|SpongeBob|Mr.. Krabs is right. I need to get my head straight. Now is it bun, patty, ketchup... ''[looks up and notices door is not there]'' The door! The door! Mr. Krabs, the front door is missing!! ''[Mr. Krabs opens door a couple feet away]'' Oh. ''[laughs]'' Sorry about that, Mr. Krabs. This pickle thing has got |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Mr.. Krabs is right. I need to get my head straight. Now is it bun, patty, ketchup... ''[looks up and notices door is not there]'' The door! The door! Mr. Krabs, the front door is missing!! ''[Mr. Krabs opens door a couple feet away]'' Oh. ''[laughs]'' Sorry about that, Mr. Krabs. This pickle thing has got my head all messed up. I better go on home and rest my brain. ''[walks out]'' Uhh, which way do I live? ''[Mr. Krabs points the path]'' Of course. ''[laughs. Later, we see SpongeBob in his house trying to write down the formula]'' No, no! Was it bun, patty, bun... Let's see, tomatoes, pickles, bun? No. Bun? No. Bun? No. Shoe? ''[throws paper and pencil away]'' I am so confused! Maybe a good night's sleep will help me get my head on straight. ''[at night]''}} |
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh...was it mattress, mattress, sheets, pillow, then SpongeBob? Or... ''[hits head with fist]'' D'oh...think, Sponge! Oh yeah! It was mattress, SpongeBob, mattress, then sheets, pillow. ''[gets in between the two mattresses]'' Good-night, Gary.}} |
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh...was it mattress, mattress, sheets, pillow, then SpongeBob? Or... ''[hits head with fist]'' D'oh...think, Sponge! Oh yeah! It was mattress, SpongeBob, mattress, then sheets, pillow. ''[gets in between the two mattresses]'' Good-night, Gary.}} |
||
{{L|Gary|Meow.}} |
{{L|Gary|Meow.}} |
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− | {{L|SpongeBob|Aw, this |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Aw, this isn't right. ''[he slips out and stands upside-down on his bed]'' Good-night, Gary.}} |
{{L|Gary|Meow.}} |
{{L|Gary|Meow.}} |
||
− | {{L|SpongeBob|Wait, this |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Wait, this isn't right either. ''[SpongeBob lays down on his back]'' Nope. ''[SpongeBob is between each railing of the ladder]'' Nuh-uh. ''[tries sleeping with a mattress on his head]'' Negative. ''[tries sleeping on the ground next to his mattresses]'' C'mon, c'mon! Get it right. ''[tries in the lifesaver]'' Wrong. Wrong! Wrong! Nope! Naw! Negatory! Nyet! ''[keeps doing the wrong things as the clock fast-forwards to morning where the alarm goes off. SpongeBob is under all three mattresses on the floor]'' Aww, I almost had it! Alarm clock. D'oh, how do I turn this thing off? Think, think, think, think!}} |
{{L|Gary|Meow.}} |
{{L|Gary|Meow.}} |
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− | {{L|SpongeBob|Gary! ''[picks up Gary and shoves him in the foghorn alarm where it is still going off. |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Gary! ''[picks up Gary and shoves him in the foghorn alarm where it is still going off. At The Krusty Krab]''}} |
{{L|Squidward|''[there is black smoke coming from kitchen. Squidward clears the smoke off with a fire extinguisher]'' Patties are done. ''[Mr. Krabs notices black, burnt patties and gets irritated]''}} |
{{L|Squidward|''[there is black smoke coming from kitchen. Squidward clears the smoke off with a fire extinguisher]'' Patties are done. ''[Mr. Krabs notices black, burnt patties and gets irritated]''}} |
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{{L|Mr. Krabs|Arrgh!}} |
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Arrgh!}} |
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{{L|Unknown Anchovy|Hey, he burnt my Krabby Patty.}} |
{{L|Unknown Anchovy|Hey, he burnt my Krabby Patty.}} |
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{{L|Martha|He burnt my fries.}} |
{{L|Martha|He burnt my fries.}} |
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− | {{L|Billy|He burnt my shake. ''[all yelling and mumbling |
+ | {{L|Billy|He burnt my shake. ''[all yelling and mumbling]''}} |
{{L|Mr. Krabs|No! Come back! No! No! Arrgh... I gotta get SpongeBob back!}} |
{{L|Mr. Krabs|No! Come back! No! No! Arrgh... I gotta get SpongeBob back!}} |
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− | {{L|''[cuts to |
+ | {{L|''[cuts to SpongeBob's house, he nailed a toaster to the door]''}} |
− | {{L|Mr Krabs|''[opens door]'' |
+ | {{L|Mr Krabs|''[opens door]'' SpongeBob? SpongeBob!}} |
+ | {{L|''[music playing in reverse; the house is a total disaster as everything is misplaced and things are everywhere and opposite]''}} |
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{{L|SpongeBob|''[ has underwear on his head]'' Mr. Krabs, hello. Do you how do?}} |
{{L|SpongeBob|''[ has underwear on his head]'' Mr. Krabs, hello. Do you how do?}} |
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− | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Why you |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Why you talkin' funny, lad? ''[takes the underwear off SpongeBob's head]''}} |
− | {{L|SpongeBob|I anything |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|I anything can't do right since because pickles.}} |
− | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Nonsense, |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Nonsense, you'll be back makin' Krabby Patties like your old self in no time!}} |
− | {{L|SpongeBob|I think |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|I think don't ready back to go to work, Mr. Krabs. ''[walks off]''}} |
− | {{L|Mr. Krabs|But |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|But you're fine, me boy! ''[SpongeBob walks right through the wooden kitchen door]'' Ohh...uhh, well...maybe not. ''[walks into the kitchen where SpongeBob is nailing a piece of bread to the table]'' All we need to do is get your confidence back. So, you can make me more money! I-I-I mean, patties. ''[chuckles]''}} |
{{L|SpongeBob|I how do that?}} |
{{L|SpongeBob|I how do that?}} |
||
− | {{L|Mr. Krabs| |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|It's like riding a bike. You never forget! ''[notices a bike in a boiling pot of water on the stove]'' Uhh...I'm gonna help ya! ''[shown both of them sitting on the ground in SpongeBob's living room]'' If you learn to make a Krabby Patty again, your life will be back in order. ''[takes out a blanket with all the ingredients on it]''}} |
− | {{L|SpongeBob|Mr. Krabs, I |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Mr. Krabs, I don't know if I...}} |
− | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Take your time. ''[SpongeBob thinks of the |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Take your time. ''[SpongeBob thinks of the Krabby Patty formula. It soon turns to night then day again. SpongeBob reaches for a bun and Mr. Krabs gets excited. SpongeBob puts bun back down]''}} |
− | {{L|SpongeBob|No, no, no, no, no. ''[Day becomes night again. Then day again and then night again. Mr. Krabs is sleeping till SpongeBob wakes him up]'' I got it! I got it! |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|No, no, no, no, no. ''[Day becomes night again. Then day again and then night again. Mr. Krabs is sleeping till SpongeBob wakes him up]'' I got it! I got it! It's all very clear to me now, Mr.. Krabs!}} |
{{L|Mr. Krabs|It is?}} |
{{L|Mr. Krabs|It is?}} |
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− | {{L|SpongeBob|Yes! I finally realize that I |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Yes! I finally realize that I can't do it! I can't do it, Mr. Krabs! I'm a failure!}} |
− | {{L|Mr. Krabs| |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Don't talk like that!}} |
− | {{L|SpongeBob| |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Don't you get it, you crustaceous cheapskate! I can't make a Double Krabby Patty with the works! ''[Makes patty as he tells Mr. Krabs the ingredients]'' I can't put a patty on a bun, with lettuce, cheese, onions, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, pickles, and top bun together in that order! ''[notices the patty he just made]''}} |
⚫ | |||
− | It's Call The Jerk Patty! ''[notices the patty he just made]''}} |
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+ | {{L|''[Mr Krabs and SpongeBob walk back to the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob then rescued Squidward from the burning kitchen and extinguishes him too]''}} |
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− | {{L|Mr. Krabs|''[ squinting]'' It’s time.}} |
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⚫ | |||
− | {{L|''[Mr Krabs and Spongebob walk back to the Krusty Krab]''}} |
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⚫ | |||
{{L|Bubble Bass|I hear SquarePants is back! ''[SpongeBob opens the kitchen door]''}} |
{{L|Bubble Bass|I hear SquarePants is back! ''[SpongeBob opens the kitchen door]''}} |
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− | {{L|SpongeBob| |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|I'm right here, Bubble Bass.}} |
{{L|Bubble Bass|I thought I ran you out of town. ''[spits a loogie into a bucket]''}} |
{{L|Bubble Bass|I thought I ran you out of town. ''[spits a loogie into a bucket]''}} |
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− | {{L|SpongeBob|This is where I belong!''[ |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|This is where I belong! ''[holds up bubbles and blows one]'' .}} |
− | {{L|Bubble Bass| |
+ | {{L|Bubble Bass| ''[Gives a weird sounding roar]''}} |
− | {{L| |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Rawr.}} |
+ | {{L|''[The crowd gasps. SpongeBob and Bubble Bass glare at each other, while Mr. Krabs is sweating with anticipation]''}} |
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− | {{L|Crowd|gasp!}} |
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− | {{L|Bubble Bass|Give me the regular. And this time, |
+ | {{L|Bubble Bass|Give me the regular. And this time, don't forget the pickles.}} |
− | {{L|SpongeBob|''[rushes into the kitchen and comes back with a |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|''[rushes into the kitchen and comes back with a Krabby Patty in the blink of an eye]'' I didn't.}} |
{{L|''[Mr. Krabs is violently sweating as Bubble Bass examines and eats the patty]''}} |
{{L|''[Mr. Krabs is violently sweating as Bubble Bass examines and eats the patty]''}} |
||
− | {{L|Bubble Bass|Still no pickles! ''[ |
+ | {{L|Bubble Bass|...Still no pickles! ''[SpongeBob notices]'' See? ''[sticks out his tongue with all the chewed up food on it. Everyone is getting sick at the sight of it and are disgusted]'' You failed again, SpongeBob "Loser"Pants! ''[laughs]''}} |
− | {{L|SpongeBob|Wait a minute! ''[grabs Bubble |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Wait a minute! ''[grabs Bubble Bass' tongue and pulls it out]'' Look! ''[shows four pickles under Bubble Bass' tongue]'' He's been hiding the pickles under his tongue the whole time!}} |
− | {{L|Mr. Krabs|And |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|And there's the pickles from last time too!}} |
− | {{L|Shubie|And |
+ | {{L|Shubie|And there's my car keys! ''[everyone walks up to Bubble Bass]''}} |
− | {{L|Bubble Bass|And |
+ | {{L|Bubble Bass|And...there's my ride! ''[runs out the Krusty Krab]''}} |
− | {{L|Mr. Krabs| |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Three cheers for the return of our master fry cook, SpongeBob! Hip hip...}} |
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
{{L|All|Hooray!}} |
{{L|All|Hooray!}} |
||
− | {{L| |
+ | {{L|Mr. Krabs|Hip hip...}} |
⚫ | |||
{{L|All|Hooray!}} |
{{L|All|Hooray!}} |
||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
+ | {{L|All|Boo. [Squidward is shocked and frowns. The frown becomes more droopier with each "Boo.".]}} |
||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
− | {{L|All|Boo |
+ | {{L|All|Boo. [Scene changes to outside of the Krusty Krab]}} |
− | {{L|SpongeBob|Hip hip |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Hip hip...}} |
− | {{L|All|Boo |
+ | {{L|All|Boo.}} |
− | {{L|SpongeBob|Hip hip |
+ | {{L|SpongeBob|Hip hip...}} |
− | {{L| |
+ | {{L|Customer|Boo! You stink!}} |
⚫ | |||
− | {{L|Member|Boo! You stink! ''(captions version Boo, you stink.)''}}. |
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[[Category:Episode transcripts]] |
[[Category:Episode transcripts]] |
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− | [[Category:Transcripts]] |
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− | [[Category:1999 transcripts]] |
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− | [[Category:Transcript]] |
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− | [[Category:1999]] |
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− | [[Category:1999'S]] |
Revision as of 22:14, 27 August 2015
Template:EpisodeTr/6b
- Squidward: Welcome to the Krusty Krab. My name is Squidward. May I take your order?
- Clay: Hmmm...uhh...oh, I'll have a... [Squidward takes out pencil and paper] ...no. [Squidward puts pencil and paper away] Maybe... [takes out pencil and paper] ...no. [Squidward puts pencil and paper away] Hmmm...I'll have... [takes out pencil and paper] ...no. Or maybe...
- Squidward: Are you planning on ordering today, sir?
- Clay: I'll have a Krabby Patty. [Squidward writes down order]
- Squidward: How original.
- Clay: And with extra onions.
- Squidward: Daring today, aren't we? [takes order and shows SpongeBob] One Krabby Patty, extra onions. [SpongeBob takes piece of paper and puts with the rest of the orders]
- SpongeBob: One cryin' Johnny comin' up! First bun, then patty, followed by ketchup, mustard, pickles, extra onions, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, and bun, in that order. One cryin' Johnny! Up! [bell rings]
- Squidward: Whatever. [Jess comes up and tells Squidward what he wants and Squidward relays order to SpongeBob] Twelve Krabby Patties on wheat buns! [SpongeBob takes a plate and patties begin to appear on the plate]
- SpongeBob: Bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun. One dozen cryin' cows on the farm! Up! [Squidward takes the plate]
- Squidward: Thanks, Farmer Brown. [at Jess] It's been a thrill serving you.
- John: Can I get some extra salt?
- Squidward: We're all out.
- John: Could you check?
- Squidward: No. [Bubble Bass walks up to order] Let me guess, Tiny, a small salad?
- Bubble Bass: I'll take a Double Triple Balty Deluxe on a raft, four by four, animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim. [Squidward gives up writing all of that down]
- Squidward: We serve food here, sir. [SpongeBob shows Squidward he's already gotten the order done]
- SpongeBob: I got it already, Squidward. [gasps] Bubble Bass.
- Bubble Bass: [pushes Squidward away] SquarePants. [walks to SpongeBob] I hear talk you make a mean Krabby Patty.
- SpongeBob: [staring at Bubble Bass] Yep. I hear talk you're kinda picky.
- Bubble Bass: Yep.
- SpongeBob: Well then...here ya go! [Bubble Bass takes the plate and sits down where he examines the Krabby Patty until he decides to take a bite] Well, Bubble Bass, whaddya think?
- Bubble Bass: This is pretty good. Only one thing. You forgot the Pickles! [shows no pickles on the burger]
- Crowd: [gasp]
- SpongeBob: No!
- Bubble Bass: The best there is? I don't think so. You lose! [laughs]
- SpongeBob: [checks patty for pickles] But, the pickles should be right where they always are. I know I put them on! [customers are disappointed; tears the patty apart, finding the pickles] Where are those pickles? Pickles? Pickles? Pickles? [Bubble Bass walks up to Mr. Krabs but also throws Squidward out of the way again]
- Bubble Bass: I believe you owe me two bucks.
- Mr. Krabs: Two bucks?!
- Bubble Bass: Your guarantee. [points to the menu where in tiny print it says '* money-back guarantee']
- Mr. Krabs: Oh. That. Well, can't we talk about this? [takes out two dollars and Bubble Bass grabs it]
- Bubble Bass: No.
- Mr. Krabs: [pulls money back] How about a discount on restroom tokens? [Bubble Bass takes money back]
- Bubble Bass: Afraid not.
- Mr. Krabs: How's about a free glass of water? A dozen free glasses of water! I'll even put ice in it! [Bubble Bass walks out the Krusty Krab with the money] No! Come back! Two dollars! Two dollars, no! No! [walks over to SpongeBob]
- SpongeBob: Mr.. Krabs, I know I put pickles on that Krabby Patty.
- Mr. Krabs: [grabs SpongeBob] That two bucks is comin' out of your paycheck! [SpongeBob tries to hang onto the floor]
- SpongeBob: Wait! Wait! Wait! [Mr. Krabs throws SpongeBob into the kitchen]
- Mr. Krabs: Get back to work, we got orders waitin'!
- Squidward: I need a Krabby Patty.
- SpongeBob: Ok, I am not gonna blow it this time. Let's see. Bun down. Then ketchup, then mustard, then pickles? No! That's not right! [starts a new patty] Bun down. Mustard, then ketchup, lettuce, then the pickles? No! [tries again] Mustard down, bun stuff down d'oh, where's the patty go? [tries again and uses the same bun] Pickles, ketchup, wait! Think! Think! I'm losin' it! [tries again] Bun down, shoe, mustard, pan, bun...no! [Mr. Krabs comes in] Mr. Krabs, I am so confused. I can't remember how to do anything.
- Mr. Krabs: Why don't you take the rest of the day off?
- SpongeBob: Oh, no, Mr.. Krabs. Who will make the Krabby Patties?
- Mr. Krabs: Oh, don't worry about that. We've got Squidward!
- Squidward: Huh? [SpongeBob walks out and goes home]
- SpongeBob: Mr.. Krabs is right. I need to get my head straight. Now is it bun, patty, ketchup... [looks up and notices door is not there] The door! The door! Mr. Krabs, the front door is missing!! [Mr. Krabs opens door a couple feet away] Oh. [laughs] Sorry about that, Mr. Krabs. This pickle thing has got my head all messed up. I better go on home and rest my brain. [walks out] Uhh, which way do I live? [Mr. Krabs points the path] Of course. [laughs. Later, we see SpongeBob in his house trying to write down the formula] No, no! Was it bun, patty, bun... Let's see, tomatoes, pickles, bun? No. Bun? No. Bun? No. Shoe? [throws paper and pencil away] I am so confused! Maybe a good night's sleep will help me get my head on straight. [at night]
- SpongeBob: Oh...was it mattress, mattress, sheets, pillow, then SpongeBob? Or... [hits head with fist] D'oh...think, Sponge! Oh yeah! It was mattress, SpongeBob, mattress, then sheets, pillow. [gets in between the two mattresses] Good-night, Gary.
- Gary: Meow.
- SpongeBob: Aw, this isn't right. [he slips out and stands upside-down on his bed] Good-night, Gary.
- Gary: Meow.
- SpongeBob: Wait, this isn't right either. [SpongeBob lays down on his back] Nope. [SpongeBob is between each railing of the ladder] Nuh-uh. [tries sleeping with a mattress on his head] Negative. [tries sleeping on the ground next to his mattresses] C'mon, c'mon! Get it right. [tries in the lifesaver] Wrong. Wrong! Wrong! Nope! Naw! Negatory! Nyet! [keeps doing the wrong things as the clock fast-forwards to morning where the alarm goes off. SpongeBob is under all three mattresses on the floor] Aww, I almost had it! Alarm clock. D'oh, how do I turn this thing off? Think, think, think, think!
- Gary: Meow.
- SpongeBob: Gary! [picks up Gary and shoves him in the foghorn alarm where it is still going off. At The Krusty Krab]
- Squidward: [there is black smoke coming from kitchen. Squidward clears the smoke off with a fire extinguisher] Patties are done. [Mr. Krabs notices black, burnt patties and gets irritated]
- Mr. Krabs: Arrgh!
- Unknown Anchovy: Hey, he burnt my Krabby Patty.
- Martha: He burnt my fries.
- Billy: He burnt my shake. [all yelling and mumbling]
- Mr. Krabs: No! Come back! No! No! Arrgh... I gotta get SpongeBob back!
- [cuts to SpongeBob's house, he nailed a toaster to the door]
- Mr Krabs: [opens door] SpongeBob? SpongeBob!
- [music playing in reverse; the house is a total disaster as everything is misplaced and things are everywhere and opposite]
- SpongeBob: [ has underwear on his head] Mr. Krabs, hello. Do you how do?
- Mr. Krabs: Why you talkin' funny, lad? [takes the underwear off SpongeBob's head]
- SpongeBob: I anything can't do right since because pickles.
- Mr. Krabs: Nonsense, you'll be back makin' Krabby Patties like your old self in no time!
- SpongeBob: I think don't ready back to go to work, Mr. Krabs. [walks off]
- Mr. Krabs: But you're fine, me boy! [SpongeBob walks right through the wooden kitchen door] Ohh...uhh, well...maybe not. [walks into the kitchen where SpongeBob is nailing a piece of bread to the table] All we need to do is get your confidence back. So, you can make me more money! I-I-I mean, patties. [chuckles]
- SpongeBob: I how do that?
- Mr. Krabs: It's like riding a bike. You never forget! [notices a bike in a boiling pot of water on the stove] Uhh...I'm gonna help ya! [shown both of them sitting on the ground in SpongeBob's living room] If you learn to make a Krabby Patty again, your life will be back in order. [takes out a blanket with all the ingredients on it]
- SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I don't know if I...
- Mr. Krabs: Take your time. [SpongeBob thinks of the Krabby Patty formula. It soon turns to night then day again. SpongeBob reaches for a bun and Mr. Krabs gets excited. SpongeBob puts bun back down]
- SpongeBob: No, no, no, no, no. [Day becomes night again. Then day again and then night again. Mr. Krabs is sleeping till SpongeBob wakes him up] I got it! I got it! It's all very clear to me now, Mr.. Krabs!
- Mr. Krabs: It is?
- SpongeBob: Yes! I finally realize that I can't do it! I can't do it, Mr. Krabs! I'm a failure!
- Mr. Krabs: Don't talk like that!
- SpongeBob: Don't you get it, you crustaceous cheapskate! I can't make a Double Krabby Patty with the works! [Makes patty as he tells Mr. Krabs the ingredients] I can't put a patty on a bun, with lettuce, cheese, onions, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, pickles, and top bun together in that order! [notices the patty he just made]
- Mr. Krabs: It's time.
- [Mr Krabs and SpongeBob walk back to the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob then rescued Squidward from the burning kitchen and extinguishes him too]
- Man: Hey, SpongeBob's back! [men and women cheering]
- Bubble Bass: I hear SquarePants is back! [SpongeBob opens the kitchen door]
- SpongeBob: I'm right here, Bubble Bass.
- Bubble Bass: I thought I ran you out of town. [spits a loogie into a bucket]
- SpongeBob: This is where I belong! [holds up bubbles and blows one] .
- Bubble Bass: [Gives a weird sounding roar]
- SpongeBob: Rawr.
- [The crowd gasps. SpongeBob and Bubble Bass glare at each other, while Mr. Krabs is sweating with anticipation]
- Bubble Bass: Give me the regular. And this time, don't forget the pickles.
- SpongeBob: [rushes into the kitchen and comes back with a Krabby Patty in the blink of an eye] I didn't.
- [Mr. Krabs is violently sweating as Bubble Bass examines and eats the patty]
- Bubble Bass: ...Still no pickles! [SpongeBob notices] See? [sticks out his tongue with all the chewed up food on it. Everyone is getting sick at the sight of it and are disgusted] You failed again, SpongeBob "Loser"Pants! [laughs]
- SpongeBob: Wait a minute! [grabs Bubble Bass' tongue and pulls it out] Look! [shows four pickles under Bubble Bass' tongue] He's been hiding the pickles under his tongue the whole time!
- Mr. Krabs: And there's the pickles from last time too!
- Shubie: And there's my car keys! [everyone walks up to Bubble Bass]
- Bubble Bass: And...there's my ride! [runs out the Krusty Krab]
- Mr. Krabs: Three cheers for the return of our master fry cook, SpongeBob! Hip hip...
- All and Squidward: Hooray!
- Mr. Krabs: Hip hip...
- All: Hooray!
- Mr. Krabs: Hip hip...
- All: Hooray!
- SpongeBob: And three cheers for the fry cook who took my place when I was gone...Squidward! [Squidward smiles] Hip hip...
- All: Boo. [Squidward is shocked and frowns. The frown becomes more droopier with each "Boo.".]
- SpongeBob: Hip hip...
- All: Boo. [Scene changes to outside of the Krusty Krab]
- SpongeBob: Hip hip...
- All: Boo.
- SpongeBob: Hip hip...
- Customer: Boo! You stink!